Happy Days (1974) s04e18 Episode Script
The Graduation: Part 2
1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
(organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps)
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days ♪
Are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours ♪
! ♪
La, la-la-la ♪
.
La, la-la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. ♪
.
You're gonna keep studying.
.
Dig it?
Fonz, we're never gonna make it without No Doz.
Yeah, these guys need help, Fonz.
Let me tell you something.
First of all, you don't get no No Doz
I don't know what that is you don't get no pills.
You got me!
Yeah, but Fonz, I can't remember one thing I looked at,
especially tomorrow morning, I'm going to be dead.
All right. I can't remember a thing.
All right, all right, all right, knock it off!
Knock it off!
Fonzie's right.
FONZIE: All right, get these
guys started on the next chapter.
Watch them; They will try anything.
RICHIE: Right.
I got business.
You can depend on me, Fonz; I'll watch these guys.
Yeah. (Chuckles)
Let's get out of here! Huh? What? What? What?
Come on. What are you doing?
I thought you were supposed to watch us.
I was faking!
I'd lie to my grandmother for sleep.
Let's get out of here. All right.
Chapter 15.
Joanie, stabbing the table is not
going to make me change my mind.
But, Dad, you promised when I got to be a sophomore,
I could car date.
Now is not the time to talk to your father
about car dates, dear.
He's worried about Richard's test.
And you're not?
Well, I am, dear.
It's just that when I worry, I cook,
and when you worry, you eat.
That's why we have a happy marriage.
And that's why you have a happy tummy.
By the time you car date,
you're going to be wearing support hose.
(car horn honks)
Oh, that's them!
Does it look like they passed, Mom?
Oh, they look very happy, except Potsie;
he's got his foot caught in the door.
RICHIE & RALPH (chanting): One-three-five-nine,
who do we think is mighty fine?
Hygiene! Hygiene!
Yay!
I think they passed.
(laughing): Yeah.
We can graduate now.
Yeah, I could have gotten an "A," but I thought a larynx
was an animal that attacked sheep.
(chanting): One-three-five-nine
It's over, Potsie.
It's over?
Are you going to graduate, too?
Yeah.
Well, congratulations, guys.
I suppose you're going to go out and celebrate now, huh?
Oh, yeah. POTSIE: No kidding.
Yeah, well, they'd take me with them,
but you won't let me car date.
Fonz. Hey, Fonz, did you hear?
They passed. We passed the hygiene test.
I think that's great, I think that's great.
They're not gonna get away with this.
I thought you wanted us to pass.
Hey, Fonzie, this says you graduated high school!
Congratulations! Arthur, that's wonderful!
That's great!
Not that part.
Look at this.
"You will receive your diploma in the mail."
Now, do you believe that?
You believe that?
I worked my way all the way through night school.
I locked myself in my room with my little notebook.
Huh?
I mean, I even took long division,
I studied my heart out.
And now they want to send me my diploma in the mail,
like I was a "Dear Occupant."
Well, let me tell you something, I'm no "Dear Occupant,"
I am the valedictorian of my class!
And I'm going to be in that ceremony!
(door slams)
I didn't know he was valedictorian.
Yeah, he was the only one in his class.
Ah, they shouldn't do that to the Fonz.
That's really bad.
Well, let me tell you something.
After all he's done for us,
I'm not going to let them get away with this.
All right! Yeah, that's right!
We're gonna get, we're gonna get
every senior in school to sign a petition!
All right! Yeah! Let's go!
Mr. Connors, now, before I say anything,
I'd appreciate it if you'd just take a deep breath,
and-and listen to the whole thing, all right?
Okay.
Arthur Fonzarelli has just graduated from night school,
and we want him in our ceremony.
Oh, no, no, no.
It is out of the question.
Night school students must receive
their diploma in the mail.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other things to do.
Oh, but he deserves it. (Boys talking)
He worked really hard.
Come on, he worked as hard as we did.
I did it, Connors, I did it!
Oh, Principal Haley, we need to talk to you.
Yes, you do. Connors, I did it.
I just persuaded the mayor to make a speech.
Oh, no, no, that's impossible.
Last week, at Fillmore High School,
the students tore up the gymnasium
during a lecture on juvenile delinquency.
HALEY: What does a Fillmore riot got to do
with our Jefferson High graduation?
They're going to use our gymnasium for their graduation.
We'll have to be out of here at 6:00 sharp.
Now, we're working on a very tight schedule.
We will not be able to have time for the mayor's speech.
Right. The mayor's out.
That's how to make a decision.
That's why I'm principal.
Mr. Haley Is this going to be a riot?
No.
No, sir, but we have a problem.
You see a friend of ours, Arthur Fonzarelli,
has graduated from the night school,
and-and we would all like to have him in our ceremony.
Well?
I'm sorry, sir.
Rules are rules.
Night school students cannot join our ceremony.
Why, that's terrible!
Let's change that.
It won't hurt anything.
He can sit with the class.
Connors, take care of it.
CONNORS: All right, very well.
Fonzarelli can join the ceremony.
But no diploma; It's already in the mail.
Now, don't dillydally here.
Right. Great, thanks.
What are you doing on
the gymnasium floor with street shoes?!
Don't you see what I'm wearing?
These are little gum soles gum, gum, gum.
Right. Out, out, out!
Wait till we tell him.
(all chattering excitedly)
Oh, Fonz! Fonz!
Hey, all right, all right.
You think you can stop chattering
and just tell me where the Principal Haley is?
Oh, you don't have to worry about it, Fonz.
We just talked to Principal Haley; It's okay.
Just look at that petition.
We got everyone to sign it. RICHIE: Yeah.
I signed it twice.
You did this for me?
I'm really touched.
Thanks a lot.
All right, now I can work on my speech.
What speech, Fonz?
Well, why would the valedictorian
be in the ceremony and not make a speech?
Oh. Oh, yeah, right.
Well, we-we just haven't ironed that out yet, that's all.
Yeah, well, all right, you work on that,
and I'll work on my speech, dig?
All right.
Dear Faculty, fellow graduates,
my-my many chicks.
Are you loony?
You know that he can't speak at the graduation.
And you should have told him
that he can't get his diploma at the ceremony.
Well, I wasn't going to,
because I'm not going to spoil this for Fonzie.
Look, it's-it's just a time problem.
They're worried about how long
the ceremony is going to take,
so we just got to find some way to speed it up.
Well, don't worry about a thing, guys.
I'll think of something.
Potsie, this is no time for a first.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. ♪
You wear it on the right, and then when you graduate,
you move it over to the left.
(door buzzer sounds) Oh, I love it.
Oh, I'll get it, I'll get it.
Oh, Spike, come on in.
It's Spike.
HOWARD: Hi, Spike.
Oh, my goodness.
Hi. Come to see Uncle Fonz graduate.
He said to meet him here.
Oh, Spike, it's so good to see you.
And you brought flowers.
Yeah. I get a discount at the florist where I work.
(knock at door)
I'll get it.
Oh. Arthur.
Hey, Spike, it is very nice to see you,
and I am touched that you made it.
Hey, I wouldn't miss this for
all the marigolds in Milwaukee.
I think that is fabbo.
He picked up a little flower humor.
MARION: Oh, Arthur,
you look so smart in your cap and gown.
HOWARD: Come on, Richard,
stand next to Fonzie.
I want to get a picture.
Yeah, I'd like this one for my book.
All right, come on now.
Howard gave Richard a new camera for graduation.
Yeah.
This is a terrific new camera.
Develops a picture in 60 seconds.
You know how to work that all right, Dad?
Well, of course I do, Richard.
I read the instructions right here in the back.
It says, "Pull tab out"
Is it supposed to do that?
No, it's not supposed to do that, Fonzie.
(knock at door)
Come in!
Hi, everybody. It's me.
JOANIE: Hi, Al.
Fonzie, you look terrific!
(chuckles)
Wow, look at the nice new camera!
Howard, take our picture.
No film.
Wow, that is new!
Well, we don't want to be late for the graduation.
Now everybody can come with me
'cause I-I brought along my catering truck.
HOWARD: Well, we kind of thought we'd go in my De Soto, Al.
I'll go with you, Al.
It's my first car date.
Hey, wait up. I'll go, too.
I love feisty chicks.
Sit on it, Spike.
(chuckles)
What a cute couple.
Fonz, uh, you know, everybody's waiting
till they get to school to put on their cap and gown.
Hey, let me tell you something, Red.
I worked very, very hard for this.
I'm going to wear it every minute I can.
I think I'm going to walk to school in it.
It's a pretty warm day to wear your gown.
That's no problem for me.
I am naked underneath this.
Darn this thing.
Oh, now, Howard, don't be so upset, dear.
A camera that takes pictures in 60 seconds.
It'll never sell.
Come on, let's get going.
I've got to pick up some more film.
Come on, Richard, it's time to leave, dear.
Well, Richard, aren't you coming?
Oh.
Oh, yeah, Mom.
I just wanted to reflect for a moment.
Do you realize that the next time I walk into this room,
I'm going to be a high school graduate?
I'll be a completely changed person.
You'll always be the same person to us, dear.
No, he's right, Marion.
He will be a changed person.
Yeah, yeah, Dad's right.
I'm going to have new responsibilities.
I'm going to have to start being more adult.
(car horn honks)
SUZIE: Come on, Richie!
I'll give you a ride to school in my new T-bird!
Holy moly, that's Suzie!
(chuckles)
Oh, she is great.
I found my thrill. ♪
(sniffles)
Are you crying?
Oh, Howard.
Our baby's grown up.
No, she's not.
I mean Richard.
Oh.
He's been such a good boy.
Yes, he has.
Marion, you did a terrific job raising him.
Thank you, dear.
Mm-hmm.
You helped, too, Howard.
Thank you, Marion.
But with Joanie, I think we're in big trouble.
(crowd murmuring)
Just think,
in just three years, you'll be up there.
Do you think by then.
Dad'll be able to work the camera, Mom?
Very funny.
You're wasting a lot of film, Howard.
Better let me help.
Thanks a lot, Al, but I can do it myself.
Oh.
In 60 seconds, you're going to have a nice picture
of an angry face.
Just kidding. Oh.
(man speaking Japanese)
ARNOLD: Of course I got my own ticket.
Now just step out of my way, Shorty.
HOWARD: Hey, look, it's Arnold!
Oh, Arnold, I'm so glad you could make it!
Oh, I would not have missed this for all the tea in China.
(laughs)
Hi, Al. Hey, hi, Arnold.
Good to see you. Oh, you're looking so good.
How's business?
Oh, it's the best move I ever made in my entire life.
I love to be with those kids.
Keeps me young.
Ah, no profits, huh?
Not a cent.
Yeah, I know the feeling.
JOANIE: Hi, Arnold.
Hey, Shortcakes!
Look at Shortcakes!
Well, pretty soon, she getting to be Longcakes.
(laughs)
(drum roll)
Thank you, girls.
I, uh
I want to, uh, welcome all of you
to our Jefferson High School program.
And now,
I want to introduce.
Assistant Principal Marvin Connors,
who will be your host for the rest of the ceremony.
(applause)
Don't forget the plan.
We've got to save time for Fonzie's speech.
Pass it on, okay? Right, right.
You guys, speed everything up.
Everything we do is speeded up.
Now, look, when you introduce
the class awards, make it fast.
Yeah, yeah, sure, right after my comedy routine.
No routine. Oh
Ralph!
All right, I'll do it real fast.
I'll only do the punch lines. All right.
And now it is time
to bring in the graduating class and orchestra,
which will play "Pomp and Circumstance."
Here we go!
(speeded-up version of "Pomp and Circumstances" plays)
Why so fast?
What happened?
"Pomp and Circumstance" sounded like "The Charleston!"
Oh, well, I thought it'd be quicker
for the overall ceremony
if we just saved that for the end.
CONNORS: A little change of our program.
Now, to introduce, um, a-a wonderful boy,
who is going to sing the school song,
,
Mr. Warren Weber.
(applause)
(piano plays intro)
(clears throat)
(very quickly): Hail Jefferson High
School, the blue and white we love ♪
To our Alma mater, we look to far above ♪
Jefferson High is number one ♪
The heart's a-turning back to the days of Jefferson ♪
Hail Jefferson High School, the blue and white we love ♪
To our own dear high school ♪
(at normal speed): Hail, hail, Jefferson. ♪
(song ends)
(applause)
I told you they were up to something.
That song always makes me cry,
even that fast.
Thank you Mr. Weber,
for that most unusual rendition of our school song.
I got it!
It-It It came out.
Sir, I have a lovely shot of the back of your head.
Would you like it?
Parents, please try to control yourselves
just for a little while.
And now, to announce the winners
of our various class awards,
in his own witty way, Ralph Malph.
(applause)
Uh, I'm really delighted to be here, folks.
(Richie clears throat)
RALPH: Oh, yeah, okay.
Anyway, so he bit him.
How the elephant got in my pajamas, I'll never know.
And the man says, "I can't hear you.
I got a banana in my ear."
(Ralph laughs)
So much for jokes, so much for jokes.
Okay, now,
on to the winners of the class awards.
Thank you.
The winner of, um, the first award
is the drama award, Heather Warren.
(applause)
I just want to thank all the little people
Too numerous to mention.
Thank you, Heather
Now, the award for Most Congenial.
Oh, we have a tie between Sally Hightower
and Debbie and Debbie Chafin.
(applause)
You You go. Oh, no, you go first.
Oh, please, I insist, you go first
Settle this off stage, will you?
And that's it for the awards.
(applause and whistling)
Hey, how would you like a dozen roses, baby?
JOANIE: Get lost.
Hey
And now,
the valedictorian of our graduating class,
Mr. Richard Cunningham.
(applause and whistling)
What's happened?
Why is everything going so fast?
Oh, you don't have to thank me.
Faculty, staff, parents and graduating students,
life is full of challenges.
Marriage, work, family.
Serious, serious challenges.
So, in closing, I'd like to say good luck.
(applause)
It was wonderful, wasn't it, Howard?
Is he finished?
Do you call that a speech?
Well, it was a little wordy, so I cut it down.
(clears throat)
Ladies and gentlemen, since we have some extra time,
I would now like to introduce the valedictorian
of our night school, Mr. Arthur Fonzarelli.
(applause and cheering)
Thank you, Richard, my very good friend.
Thank you my fellow graduates
and petition signers.
You know, some of you may be wondering,
"What is Fonzie doing here?"
Well, I'll tell you, three years ago,
I was wondering the same thing myself.
Oh, yeah, I want to tell you, school was no fun.
No.
There were always a lot of rules.
You know, like, uh,
(squeaky voice): "Don't wear your taps on your shoes."
(stern voice): "Don't ride your
bike up and down the hallway."
I thought to myself, "Who needs this?"
You know?
And instantaneously, I dropped out.
Kids thought I was cool.
But I'm here to tell you
that quitting things is definitely not cool-amundo.
This may surprise you, but some
of the smartest people I know have high school diplomas.
(Arnold cackles)
Thank you, Arnold.
Let me let me tell you something, folks.
Let me tell you something.
Finishing school gives you a sense of accomplishment.
Can you dig it?
It gives you a sense of thumbs up for the future.
I mean, that's why I went back to night school.
That's why I stand here tonight before you
wearing a dress.
Yeah.
I got one thing to say in closing.
Get your education.
Get it during the day, or get it at night,
get it in between dates, but get it.
'Cause I want to tell you something
staying in school is cool.
Whoa!
(cheering)
Fonz, this is a present
from the entire senior class.
Yeah, well, let me tell you something.
I love it.
Now we're two minutes ahead of schedule.
Oh, I I'll bail you out.
I'll finish my speech.
(clears throat)
As we are nearing the end of the 1950s,
we must realize
that we graduates are the leaders of the future.
We must always keep in mind
that our nation has survived many scandals.
The impeachment of President Andrew Johnson,
the assassinations
of Presidents McKinley and Lincoln.
We don't know what the future holds,
but we do know
that our nation and our people will endure.
("Pomp and Circumstance" playing) Mickey Wheatley.
(applause)
Walter Vaughn.
(applause)
Anthony Paris.
(applause)
Heather Warren.
(applause)
Debbie Chafin.
(applause)
Hilary Moran. Let me tell you something.
If he don't call my name, I am leaving, and that's it.
No, no, don't go, Fonz, please.
I cannot go down that aisle without a diploma.
Now, look, when the time comes,
just snap your fingers, okay?
What are you talking about?
Just trust me, Fonz, please.
CONNORS: Warren Weber.
(applause)
Ralph Malph.
(applause)
And now, our class valedictorian,
Richard Cunningham.
(applause)
I do not announce the night school.
Oh, Connors, for heaven's sake!
The night school class consists of one graduate
Arthur Fonzarelli.
(applause and cheering)
On behalf of the United States Post Office,
here's your high school diploma.
(applause and cheering)
("Pomp and Circumstance" concluding)
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
(organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps)
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days ♪
Are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours ♪
! ♪
La, la-la-la ♪
.
La, la-la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. ♪
.
You're gonna keep studying.
.
Dig it?
Fonz, we're never gonna make it without No Doz.
Yeah, these guys need help, Fonz.
Let me tell you something.
First of all, you don't get no No Doz
I don't know what that is you don't get no pills.
You got me!
Yeah, but Fonz, I can't remember one thing I looked at,
especially tomorrow morning, I'm going to be dead.
All right. I can't remember a thing.
All right, all right, all right, knock it off!
Knock it off!
Fonzie's right.
FONZIE: All right, get these
guys started on the next chapter.
Watch them; They will try anything.
RICHIE: Right.
I got business.
You can depend on me, Fonz; I'll watch these guys.
Yeah. (Chuckles)
Let's get out of here! Huh? What? What? What?
Come on. What are you doing?
I thought you were supposed to watch us.
I was faking!
I'd lie to my grandmother for sleep.
Let's get out of here. All right.
Chapter 15.
Joanie, stabbing the table is not
going to make me change my mind.
But, Dad, you promised when I got to be a sophomore,
I could car date.
Now is not the time to talk to your father
about car dates, dear.
He's worried about Richard's test.
And you're not?
Well, I am, dear.
It's just that when I worry, I cook,
and when you worry, you eat.
That's why we have a happy marriage.
And that's why you have a happy tummy.
By the time you car date,
you're going to be wearing support hose.
(car horn honks)
Oh, that's them!
Does it look like they passed, Mom?
Oh, they look very happy, except Potsie;
he's got his foot caught in the door.
RICHIE & RALPH (chanting): One-three-five-nine,
who do we think is mighty fine?
Hygiene! Hygiene!
Yay!
I think they passed.
(laughing): Yeah.
We can graduate now.
Yeah, I could have gotten an "A," but I thought a larynx
was an animal that attacked sheep.
(chanting): One-three-five-nine
It's over, Potsie.
It's over?
Are you going to graduate, too?
Yeah.
Well, congratulations, guys.
I suppose you're going to go out and celebrate now, huh?
Oh, yeah. POTSIE: No kidding.
Yeah, well, they'd take me with them,
but you won't let me car date.
Fonz. Hey, Fonz, did you hear?
They passed. We passed the hygiene test.
I think that's great, I think that's great.
They're not gonna get away with this.
I thought you wanted us to pass.
Hey, Fonzie, this says you graduated high school!
Congratulations! Arthur, that's wonderful!
That's great!
Not that part.
Look at this.
"You will receive your diploma in the mail."
Now, do you believe that?
You believe that?
I worked my way all the way through night school.
I locked myself in my room with my little notebook.
Huh?
I mean, I even took long division,
I studied my heart out.
And now they want to send me my diploma in the mail,
like I was a "Dear Occupant."
Well, let me tell you something, I'm no "Dear Occupant,"
I am the valedictorian of my class!
And I'm going to be in that ceremony!
(door slams)
I didn't know he was valedictorian.
Yeah, he was the only one in his class.
Ah, they shouldn't do that to the Fonz.
That's really bad.
Well, let me tell you something.
After all he's done for us,
I'm not going to let them get away with this.
All right! Yeah, that's right!
We're gonna get, we're gonna get
every senior in school to sign a petition!
All right! Yeah! Let's go!
Mr. Connors, now, before I say anything,
I'd appreciate it if you'd just take a deep breath,
and-and listen to the whole thing, all right?
Okay.
Arthur Fonzarelli has just graduated from night school,
and we want him in our ceremony.
Oh, no, no, no.
It is out of the question.
Night school students must receive
their diploma in the mail.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other things to do.
Oh, but he deserves it. (Boys talking)
He worked really hard.
Come on, he worked as hard as we did.
I did it, Connors, I did it!
Oh, Principal Haley, we need to talk to you.
Yes, you do. Connors, I did it.
I just persuaded the mayor to make a speech.
Oh, no, no, that's impossible.
Last week, at Fillmore High School,
the students tore up the gymnasium
during a lecture on juvenile delinquency.
HALEY: What does a Fillmore riot got to do
with our Jefferson High graduation?
They're going to use our gymnasium for their graduation.
We'll have to be out of here at 6:00 sharp.
Now, we're working on a very tight schedule.
We will not be able to have time for the mayor's speech.
Right. The mayor's out.
That's how to make a decision.
That's why I'm principal.
Mr. Haley Is this going to be a riot?
No.
No, sir, but we have a problem.
You see a friend of ours, Arthur Fonzarelli,
has graduated from the night school,
and-and we would all like to have him in our ceremony.
Well?
I'm sorry, sir.
Rules are rules.
Night school students cannot join our ceremony.
Why, that's terrible!
Let's change that.
It won't hurt anything.
He can sit with the class.
Connors, take care of it.
CONNORS: All right, very well.
Fonzarelli can join the ceremony.
But no diploma; It's already in the mail.
Now, don't dillydally here.
Right. Great, thanks.
What are you doing on
the gymnasium floor with street shoes?!
Don't you see what I'm wearing?
These are little gum soles gum, gum, gum.
Right. Out, out, out!
Wait till we tell him.
(all chattering excitedly)
Oh, Fonz! Fonz!
Hey, all right, all right.
You think you can stop chattering
and just tell me where the Principal Haley is?
Oh, you don't have to worry about it, Fonz.
We just talked to Principal Haley; It's okay.
Just look at that petition.
We got everyone to sign it. RICHIE: Yeah.
I signed it twice.
You did this for me?
I'm really touched.
Thanks a lot.
All right, now I can work on my speech.
What speech, Fonz?
Well, why would the valedictorian
be in the ceremony and not make a speech?
Oh. Oh, yeah, right.
Well, we-we just haven't ironed that out yet, that's all.
Yeah, well, all right, you work on that,
and I'll work on my speech, dig?
All right.
Dear Faculty, fellow graduates,
my-my many chicks.
Are you loony?
You know that he can't speak at the graduation.
And you should have told him
that he can't get his diploma at the ceremony.
Well, I wasn't going to,
because I'm not going to spoil this for Fonzie.
Look, it's-it's just a time problem.
They're worried about how long
the ceremony is going to take,
so we just got to find some way to speed it up.
Well, don't worry about a thing, guys.
I'll think of something.
Potsie, this is no time for a first.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. ♪
You wear it on the right, and then when you graduate,
you move it over to the left.
(door buzzer sounds) Oh, I love it.
Oh, I'll get it, I'll get it.
Oh, Spike, come on in.
It's Spike.
HOWARD: Hi, Spike.
Oh, my goodness.
Hi. Come to see Uncle Fonz graduate.
He said to meet him here.
Oh, Spike, it's so good to see you.
And you brought flowers.
Yeah. I get a discount at the florist where I work.
(knock at door)
I'll get it.
Oh. Arthur.
Hey, Spike, it is very nice to see you,
and I am touched that you made it.
Hey, I wouldn't miss this for
all the marigolds in Milwaukee.
I think that is fabbo.
He picked up a little flower humor.
MARION: Oh, Arthur,
you look so smart in your cap and gown.
HOWARD: Come on, Richard,
stand next to Fonzie.
I want to get a picture.
Yeah, I'd like this one for my book.
All right, come on now.
Howard gave Richard a new camera for graduation.
Yeah.
This is a terrific new camera.
Develops a picture in 60 seconds.
You know how to work that all right, Dad?
Well, of course I do, Richard.
I read the instructions right here in the back.
It says, "Pull tab out"
Is it supposed to do that?
No, it's not supposed to do that, Fonzie.
(knock at door)
Come in!
Hi, everybody. It's me.
JOANIE: Hi, Al.
Fonzie, you look terrific!
(chuckles)
Wow, look at the nice new camera!
Howard, take our picture.
No film.
Wow, that is new!
Well, we don't want to be late for the graduation.
Now everybody can come with me
'cause I-I brought along my catering truck.
HOWARD: Well, we kind of thought we'd go in my De Soto, Al.
I'll go with you, Al.
It's my first car date.
Hey, wait up. I'll go, too.
I love feisty chicks.
Sit on it, Spike.
(chuckles)
What a cute couple.
Fonz, uh, you know, everybody's waiting
till they get to school to put on their cap and gown.
Hey, let me tell you something, Red.
I worked very, very hard for this.
I'm going to wear it every minute I can.
I think I'm going to walk to school in it.
It's a pretty warm day to wear your gown.
That's no problem for me.
I am naked underneath this.
Darn this thing.
Oh, now, Howard, don't be so upset, dear.
A camera that takes pictures in 60 seconds.
It'll never sell.
Come on, let's get going.
I've got to pick up some more film.
Come on, Richard, it's time to leave, dear.
Well, Richard, aren't you coming?
Oh.
Oh, yeah, Mom.
I just wanted to reflect for a moment.
Do you realize that the next time I walk into this room,
I'm going to be a high school graduate?
I'll be a completely changed person.
You'll always be the same person to us, dear.
No, he's right, Marion.
He will be a changed person.
Yeah, yeah, Dad's right.
I'm going to have new responsibilities.
I'm going to have to start being more adult.
(car horn honks)
SUZIE: Come on, Richie!
I'll give you a ride to school in my new T-bird!
Holy moly, that's Suzie!
(chuckles)
Oh, she is great.
I found my thrill. ♪
(sniffles)
Are you crying?
Oh, Howard.
Our baby's grown up.
No, she's not.
I mean Richard.
Oh.
He's been such a good boy.
Yes, he has.
Marion, you did a terrific job raising him.
Thank you, dear.
Mm-hmm.
You helped, too, Howard.
Thank you, Marion.
But with Joanie, I think we're in big trouble.
(crowd murmuring)
Just think,
in just three years, you'll be up there.
Do you think by then.
Dad'll be able to work the camera, Mom?
Very funny.
You're wasting a lot of film, Howard.
Better let me help.
Thanks a lot, Al, but I can do it myself.
Oh.
In 60 seconds, you're going to have a nice picture
of an angry face.
Just kidding. Oh.
(man speaking Japanese)
ARNOLD: Of course I got my own ticket.
Now just step out of my way, Shorty.
HOWARD: Hey, look, it's Arnold!
Oh, Arnold, I'm so glad you could make it!
Oh, I would not have missed this for all the tea in China.
(laughs)
Hi, Al. Hey, hi, Arnold.
Good to see you. Oh, you're looking so good.
How's business?
Oh, it's the best move I ever made in my entire life.
I love to be with those kids.
Keeps me young.
Ah, no profits, huh?
Not a cent.
Yeah, I know the feeling.
JOANIE: Hi, Arnold.
Hey, Shortcakes!
Look at Shortcakes!
Well, pretty soon, she getting to be Longcakes.
(laughs)
(drum roll)
Thank you, girls.
I, uh
I want to, uh, welcome all of you
to our Jefferson High School program.
And now,
I want to introduce.
Assistant Principal Marvin Connors,
who will be your host for the rest of the ceremony.
(applause)
Don't forget the plan.
We've got to save time for Fonzie's speech.
Pass it on, okay? Right, right.
You guys, speed everything up.
Everything we do is speeded up.
Now, look, when you introduce
the class awards, make it fast.
Yeah, yeah, sure, right after my comedy routine.
No routine. Oh
Ralph!
All right, I'll do it real fast.
I'll only do the punch lines. All right.
And now it is time
to bring in the graduating class and orchestra,
which will play "Pomp and Circumstance."
Here we go!
(speeded-up version of "Pomp and Circumstances" plays)
Why so fast?
What happened?
"Pomp and Circumstance" sounded like "The Charleston!"
Oh, well, I thought it'd be quicker
for the overall ceremony
if we just saved that for the end.
CONNORS: A little change of our program.
Now, to introduce, um, a-a wonderful boy,
who is going to sing the school song,
,
Mr. Warren Weber.
(applause)
(piano plays intro)
(clears throat)
(very quickly): Hail Jefferson High
School, the blue and white we love ♪
To our Alma mater, we look to far above ♪
Jefferson High is number one ♪
The heart's a-turning back to the days of Jefferson ♪
Hail Jefferson High School, the blue and white we love ♪
To our own dear high school ♪
(at normal speed): Hail, hail, Jefferson. ♪
(song ends)
(applause)
I told you they were up to something.
That song always makes me cry,
even that fast.
Thank you Mr. Weber,
for that most unusual rendition of our school song.
I got it!
It-It It came out.
Sir, I have a lovely shot of the back of your head.
Would you like it?
Parents, please try to control yourselves
just for a little while.
And now, to announce the winners
of our various class awards,
in his own witty way, Ralph Malph.
(applause)
Uh, I'm really delighted to be here, folks.
(Richie clears throat)
RALPH: Oh, yeah, okay.
Anyway, so he bit him.
How the elephant got in my pajamas, I'll never know.
And the man says, "I can't hear you.
I got a banana in my ear."
(Ralph laughs)
So much for jokes, so much for jokes.
Okay, now,
on to the winners of the class awards.
Thank you.
The winner of, um, the first award
is the drama award, Heather Warren.
(applause)
I just want to thank all the little people
Too numerous to mention.
Thank you, Heather
Now, the award for Most Congenial.
Oh, we have a tie between Sally Hightower
and Debbie and Debbie Chafin.
(applause)
You You go. Oh, no, you go first.
Oh, please, I insist, you go first
Settle this off stage, will you?
And that's it for the awards.
(applause and whistling)
Hey, how would you like a dozen roses, baby?
JOANIE: Get lost.
Hey
And now,
the valedictorian of our graduating class,
Mr. Richard Cunningham.
(applause and whistling)
What's happened?
Why is everything going so fast?
Oh, you don't have to thank me.
Faculty, staff, parents and graduating students,
life is full of challenges.
Marriage, work, family.
Serious, serious challenges.
So, in closing, I'd like to say good luck.
(applause)
It was wonderful, wasn't it, Howard?
Is he finished?
Do you call that a speech?
Well, it was a little wordy, so I cut it down.
(clears throat)
Ladies and gentlemen, since we have some extra time,
I would now like to introduce the valedictorian
of our night school, Mr. Arthur Fonzarelli.
(applause and cheering)
Thank you, Richard, my very good friend.
Thank you my fellow graduates
and petition signers.
You know, some of you may be wondering,
"What is Fonzie doing here?"
Well, I'll tell you, three years ago,
I was wondering the same thing myself.
Oh, yeah, I want to tell you, school was no fun.
No.
There were always a lot of rules.
You know, like, uh,
(squeaky voice): "Don't wear your taps on your shoes."
(stern voice): "Don't ride your
bike up and down the hallway."
I thought to myself, "Who needs this?"
You know?
And instantaneously, I dropped out.
Kids thought I was cool.
But I'm here to tell you
that quitting things is definitely not cool-amundo.
This may surprise you, but some
of the smartest people I know have high school diplomas.
(Arnold cackles)
Thank you, Arnold.
Let me let me tell you something, folks.
Let me tell you something.
Finishing school gives you a sense of accomplishment.
Can you dig it?
It gives you a sense of thumbs up for the future.
I mean, that's why I went back to night school.
That's why I stand here tonight before you
wearing a dress.
Yeah.
I got one thing to say in closing.
Get your education.
Get it during the day, or get it at night,
get it in between dates, but get it.
'Cause I want to tell you something
staying in school is cool.
Whoa!
(cheering)
Fonz, this is a present
from the entire senior class.
Yeah, well, let me tell you something.
I love it.
Now we're two minutes ahead of schedule.
Oh, I I'll bail you out.
I'll finish my speech.
(clears throat)
As we are nearing the end of the 1950s,
we must realize
that we graduates are the leaders of the future.
We must always keep in mind
that our nation has survived many scandals.
The impeachment of President Andrew Johnson,
the assassinations
of Presidents McKinley and Lincoln.
We don't know what the future holds,
but we do know
that our nation and our people will endure.
("Pomp and Circumstance" playing) Mickey Wheatley.
(applause)
Walter Vaughn.
(applause)
Anthony Paris.
(applause)
Heather Warren.
(applause)
Debbie Chafin.
(applause)
Hilary Moran. Let me tell you something.
If he don't call my name, I am leaving, and that's it.
No, no, don't go, Fonz, please.
I cannot go down that aisle without a diploma.
Now, look, when the time comes,
just snap your fingers, okay?
What are you talking about?
Just trust me, Fonz, please.
CONNORS: Warren Weber.
(applause)
Ralph Malph.
(applause)
And now, our class valedictorian,
Richard Cunningham.
(applause)
I do not announce the night school.
Oh, Connors, for heaven's sake!
The night school class consists of one graduate
Arthur Fonzarelli.
(applause and cheering)
On behalf of the United States Post Office,
here's your high school diploma.
(applause and cheering)
("Pomp and Circumstance" concluding)
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪