Happy Days (1974) s04e21 Episode Script
Fonz-How, Inc.
1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
(organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps)
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days ♪
Are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours ♪
! ♪
You ain't gonna rock and roll no more ♪
.
Let's see that dust fly with that broom ♪
Get all that garbage out of sight ♪
Or you don't go out Friday night ♪
Yakety yak, yakety yak ♪
Yakety yak, yakety yak ♪
Yakety yak, yakety yak ♪
(engine revving)
Yakety yak, yakety yak ♪
Yak! ♪
(all laugh)
Can we open our eyes now, Dad?
You got to keep them closed until Fonzie gets here.
(sighing): Oh.
Hey, greet-amundo!
Fonzie, cover your eyes.
Cover my eyes, all right.
Sit down.
How can I sit down if I can't see where I'm going?
Come on. Easy does it.
There you are. Thanks.
Okay, everybody can open your eyes.
Well, why did we have our eyes closed?
Look.
On the counter, there is a bag of garbage.
How did that get there?
That's a good trick, Dad.
Oh, yeah, listen, next time tell me in advance,
I'll bring all my friends over; We'll laugh hysterically.
All right, will everybody just calm down please? All right.
Marion, would you bring the garbage over here please?
Howard, I'm not having fun.
Who is?
That's it?
That's-that's what we all closed our eyes for?
Look, will you just calm down for a minute please?
Marion, I want you to bring the garbage over here.
Right over here.
Good!
(laughter)
Dad, I think maybe you better go upstairs and take a rest.
(laughter)
It's not funny.
Now look at this rug, and I've got to pick it up.
No, no, no, no, no! Leave it alone,
That's clean garbage.
I just picked it fresh.
Picked it fresh?
Maybe I better go upstairs and take a little rest.
(laughs)
I've been breaking myself up all week.
(laughter)
All right, everybody come over here and gather around.
I want to show you some plans. Oh, come on, Dad.
Come on, right over here.
Now then, it has always been
my secret ambition to be an inventor.
You never told me that.
It was a secret.
Oh.
Oh, I'm gonna clean up that garbage.
Now, just sit down, Marion, please.
Now, exactly two weeks ago, the same thing happened to me
that just happened to Mother.
Is this your idea of revenge?
And I suddenly thought to myself, I mean,
in this day and age, here we are in the '50s,
that a person should not have to carry the garbage out
15 times a week.
Hey, you know, I totally agree.
That's why I never have the same chick
pick up garbage, take it out twice in a row.
Oh, that's good, good.
Thank you, thank you.
Well, anyway, I thought that there should be
some way to sort of keep it in the kitchen, you know?
Sort of push it all together.
And maybe only take it out once or twice a week.
You know what I mean?
Sure.
It's called piling it up in the corner.
(laughs)
No, I mean putting it in some kind of a special container
and-and squeezing it all together.
Oh, yuck, Dad!
I can't believe we're having this conversation.
I can't stand it.
I've got to clean up that garbage.
Hey, I'll tell you something, Mrs. C.,
I think the Big H. Here's got the right idea.
I think what you're talking about, if I get it,
is that you want to squeeze it all together
like they do with old cars when they put them to rest.
Exact-amundo!
Whoa!
Hey, hey, Dad, you know, it's too bad you don't have
some, uh, big corporation behind this idea, you know?
Why do I need a big corporation?
Listen, all of the great inventions in life
have been by the little man.
You know the Wright Brothers?
They invented the airplane in their own bicycle shop.
Yeah, but they were just trying to build
a very wide bicycle and it took off.
And Jenny Piccolo,
she invented the first see-through nightie.
Marion.
I don't wear a see-through nightie.
Will you talk to Joanie, please?
Dear, I'm sure you're wrong.
It was a man named Frederick in Hollywood.
Well, Fonzie, what do you think of the plans?
Uh, I'll tell you, see,
I think they're very good for a start, Mr. C.
What do you mean "for a start"?
I'm all ready to build it.
Oh, well, you can build this, you know,
but it ain't going to work.
What? Why won't it work?
Well, right here, the spring action
ain't going to make it, you know?
Well, what else am I going to use?
Hydraulic lifts.
Really?
Oh, yeah, the cylinders right in there.
You know, um, uh, on, on a garage floor,
you got the hydraulic lift, right?
You press a button, it kind of raises the car up?
Yeah. Well, with garbage, instead of raise, push.
Hey, Dad, I think that's your solution right there.
Oh, boy, hydraulics I don't know much about that.
I'm not very good with my hands.
Oh, I wouldn't say that. Marion.
He's, uh, great at card tricks.
Dad, why don't you just get, uh, Fonzie to help you?
He's great with his hands.
He's a mechanical genius.
Heyyy.
(Fonzie and Richie chuckle)
Well, how about it, Fonzie?
You want to work on this together?
Look, gentlemen, I am very busy.
I don't think I have the time, huh?
Oh, Fonz? Yeah?
Uh, you know, you, you really should go in on it with Dad.
Why?
Why, Dad?
Talk. Oh.
Well, golly, gee, Fonz. Oh, for
I mean,
it's the, uh, the thrill of of invention,
the, the excitement of it, and,
uh, and you'd be great at it.
Yeah. Really
Really good You could help Howard,
work with him.
How can I turn a face like that down?
All right, I'll see what I can do, huh?
All right, Fonz!
You know you got my steam up?
Come on, let's go out to the garage.
I want to show you all the parts I got so far.
Come on, partner.
♪♪
One question.
Who said "Stop the music?"
POTSIE & RALPH: Him.
There are people trying to dance here.
Oh, well, Fonz, you see,
this isn't really a formal dance.
This is just a rehearsal for us, and, uh,
there's nobody dancing here, it's not really a dance.
.
Why don't we just play something, guys?
(playing bluesy tune)
Fonzie, Fonzie, I've been looking all over for you.
Yeah?
Well, I've been here all the time.
Yeah, but you, you were supposed
to be at my place at 8:00 this morning.
Well, Doris came by.
You know how things are, Mr. C.
Oh, well, look, Doris
I'm terribly sorry, but Fonzie is helping me.
Uh, Mr. C., this ain't Doris.
She had to go to work at 9:00.
This is Eileen.
Oh.
Well, Eileen, would you please excuse us?
I have to talk to you, Fonzie.
All right, all right, all right.
Just keep your motors running, huh?
(groans) I got to put this down, it's getting heavy.
Over here.
Excuse me, guys.
Sorry, but it's very heavy.
Fellas, fellas, people are trying to eat here.
Now, what is this contraption?
Oh, this is a Garbage Gulper.
Howard.
We got a little rule in the restaurant business.
We never say "garbage"
in front of the customers.
What's that, Al, what's that?
Garbage!
Ugh. Oh!
You see what you did?
Boys
Mr. C., this looks perfect to me.
Now what's the problem?
Now, listen, Fonzie.
In just two days we've got an appointment
to demonstrate this machine,
and this part here that's supposed to move,
it doesn't move.
Well, I see the problem it's not connected.
I'll fix it for you.
When? When? I don't know.
I got a date right now, soon, huh?
Send her home.
Here, sweetheart, you run along,
Fonzie's gonna be very busy now.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Hey! Now, excuse me,
Mr. C., all right, for one minute?
(snaps fingers) Richie my office.
Uh, do yourself a favor, have a malted, okay?
I don't want a malted.
Eileen, dance with him.
I don't want to dance.
♪♪
Dream ♪
Dream, dream, dream ♪
Dream ♪
Is it safe to leave your chick alone with my dad out there?
Let me tell you something, Red.
I am not safe with your father.
He is going berserko with his Garbage Gulper.
Can you dig it? Yeah, I know.
He means well, but he's really starting to,
starting to drive me crazy.
Yeah, I gotta tell you something,
I don't care what he's doing for you.
You're the one that got me into
this mess, huh?
(imitating Richie): "Oh, golly gee, Fonz."
"Oh come on, be an inventor.
"Oh golly, gee, Fonz.
Oh, come on, just-just be a partner."
I only said one "Golly, gee."
Do you know that he sent Eileen home?
That's nothing. That's nothing?
He's got all kinds of crazy ideas.
He wants to start a corporation.
Can you believe that? A corporation.
And he wants me to be the accountant.
Wants me to wear a green eye shade.
Now, you know how lousy I look in hats.
Hey, let me tell you something, that's nothing.
I have to have lunch with him every single day,
and I have to have the businessman's special.
That's nothing he's sending Joanie
to welding school.
Hey, Red, that is nothing.
Do you know that he meets girls
at the bottom of my stairway,
and I have to and he sends them home
I don't even get a chance to look at 'em?
Now, that's something.
You're telling me, that is something.
(phone rings)
I am busy!
All right.
Now, now get this, Fonz, because this is serious.
Yeah.
He wants to set up factories all over the world. Factories.
He's even got a name for the corporation.
Yeah, well, I want to tell you something.
You better do something about your dad.
Yeah.
He wants to call it.
"Fonz-How, Incorporated."
Yeah.
He wants to go public with it,
put it on the New York Stock Exchange and everything.
Fonz-How, Inc.?
Well, yeah.
Yeah, well, you see, it's Arthur Fonzarelli
and Howard Cunningham.
Oh, yeah, I got that in very, very large lights.
Fonz-How, Inc.
I don't know what we're gonna do about him.
I do. Good.
You get a blimp.
With very, very large lights
blinking all over the world
Fonz-How, Inc.
A blimp.
Fonz-How
Whoa!
Can we fix it? Of course we can fix it.
Let me see it.
All right, now, I'll bet you
that it is this arm right here is too tight, you got
Let me have that knife, right here, just for a minute,
just for a minute. All right, now look,
if we take if we take this lever right here, you see?
Yeah. All right,
and we just tighten it. Just
one couple right, just
All right, I'll bet you now
all we have to do is, uh There you go.
You-you bent my knife.
Oh, it's going to be a very famous knife, Al.
We'll just take this right into the kitchen, right?
My kitchen? You're going to take
that thing into my nice kitchen?
Al, I don't think you understand.
This is a very important day at Arnold's, you understand?
Makes history here.
This could be the start of everything.
You mean, this could really be big?
Sure, bigger than hamburgers, Al.
We're talking about factories, franchises,
New York Stock Exchange.
Blimps!
What blimps? We'll talk later.
Could I ride in the blimp?
Yeah, you can ride in the blimp.
Let me take this.
Clarence, I'm going to ride in a blimp!
Come on, partner.
RICHIE: Okay, all right, I got a solution.
Now, obviously, we're never going
to be able to play this song right.
Yeah. So, we got to gloss over it with movement.
Yeah? Well, I was made for movement.
Bo Diddly!
(band playing bluesy melody)
HOWARD: All right, put the garbage in, Fonz.
FONZIE: Hey, you got it, partner.
AL: That's my cucumber salad!
HOWARD: Okay, let it go, Fonz.
(explosive rumbling)
We must really be off.
Yeah.
That's the first time people threw food at us.
(melody resumes)
Okay, so it's got a few kinks in it.
We'll work it out.
!
We did it!
Marion, Richie, Joanie, come on down here!
HOWARD (laughing): It works! It works!
We did it. MARION: Howard.
Howard, why the yelling? It works.
It's 3:00 in the morning.
Come on, come on, it works! Really?
Oh, this is exciting.
Oh, now, this is fun. Congratulations.
Oh, that's great, Dad. That's great, Dad.
Start it up. Start it up.
Well, all right, I'll just, uh, press the button.
Wait! Are you going to hug me again?
You just can't turn on a switch like this.
Don't you realize that this is an historical moment?
I mean, the minute that switch goes on,
the world is never going to be the same again.
We're going to have whatever we want.
Can I drop out of welding school, Dad?
We'll see.
Fonzie
Whoa.
It's your honor.
In the name of Fonz-How, Inc.
(machine hums)
(machine clatters and stops)
That was exciting.
Doesn't work.
It doesn't work!
What happened? It doesn't work!
Oh, no! That's all right, all right.
Mr. C, please! Oh, Dad.
Oh, gosh, everyone go to bed.
Oh, Howard, now it's going to be all right.
Come to bed, and you'll see.
It'll be It'll be all right tomorrow, dear.
Well, why don't you fix it like you always do?
Give it the old Fonzie bang.
That's an idea.
Wait a minute. It's not an idea.
See, this is not a simple toy.
This is heavy machinery.
We're talking about hydraulics here.
Oh, Fonzie's right. It's useless.
Go to bed, everyone.
Oh, Howard, why don't you just give it one
Marion, please!
Yes, dear, we'll all go to bed.
Well, it was good while it worked, Dad.
Hey, uh, yeah, don't worry, Dad, because, uh,
first time out,
Alexander Graham Bell got a wrong number.
Hey, Mr. C., don't worry about it.
We can have it fixed in a jiffy.
No, Fonzie, I am through.
Finished.
This Garbage Gulper was a crazy idea.
I quit. Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute. That is not right.
This Garbage Gulper was a great idea,
and you can't just quit like that.
I just did.
Well, what about
if all the great men in history quit, right?
What about Edison and the light bulb?
Then I'd be quitting in the dark.
And what about Macaroni and the radio?
Marconi. Whatever.
Fonzie, I give up!
All right. All right, you can just sit there.
If you want to let the American housewife down,
that's up to you.
But this is one man that would never let women down.
Now, would you be so kind as to hand me a screwdriver?
Yeah, maybe if we just adjust this lever, huh?
All right, maybe it's too tight.
That's it.
We're going to have this fixed, Mr. C.,
and then we can show them, you know?
Well, you just don't show it, Fonzie, you got to sell it.
You got to make a presentation.
You know, I remember when they sold the rake,
they had a 20-minute film.
Oh, it was so boring.
We're gon We're gonna make a film?
Maybe we can use the blimp.
We won't have time for that,
but we'll give them a presentation
they'll never forget.
Gentlemen, this is a Garbage Gulper.
A catchy name, huh? Huh?
Richard?
Now, what this does is take a week's garbage
and compact it into one small, tiny package.
You're very dynamic, Howard.
Thank you.
So what we have here is garbage,
and the great need for the How-Fonz Garbage Gulper.
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
Oh, excuse me. The Fonz-How Garbage Gulper.
And now, I would like to introduce you
to the gentleman who's in charge of our marketing survey.
And accounting.
As you know, a housewife has many responsibilities
raising the children, shopping for food
and taking care of her family's many needs.
Now I'd like to introduce
to you a typical American housewife
who will give you her unbiased opinion of garbage.
(Richie, Potsie and Ralph hum "Stars and Stripes Forever")
My many, numerous, happy chores
are interrupted many times a day
by taking out the garbage.
How many times have I said
to myself, "Golly, gee, I wish I had a machine"
"that could compress the garbage,
and then I would just have to make one trip a week?"
Thank you, typical American housewife.
You know,
I just realized that garbage is a plague on this earth.
It's I just spend time
constantly taking out the garbage.
I mean, who would think that a family of four
could make so much garbage?
Uh, uh, thank you, Marion.
This is my son.
I have a daughter, also.
Well, I'm sorry your daughter couldn't make it.
They could use a soprano.
She went to the movies with Jenny Piccolo.
Marion, can we get on Boys!
(one final hum)
And now, Mr. Fonzarelli will demonstrate the machine.
All right. Potsie, let's-let's
put the garbage right in here.
Right, uh, garbage in, Fonz.
All right.
I've just got to turn this on.
(whirring)
Oh. Oh, my, my.
That-That really seems to be working.
Oh, my, this is fun.
Oh, give me all the garbage.
Oh. Especially the liverwurst.
Get the liverwurst in here.
Oh, wow, look at all the garbage going in there.
Here we go.
Oh, more trash, come on, more trash.
That's it. Right in here.
(clanks)
(machine stops) What happened?
Uh, no sweat, no sweat. Just overload.
Just overload. Hey, any of you guys in here got a broom?
Uh, your walking stick will do.
No, no, no, that's a very expensive walking stick.
Leave that alone.
Well, so is the Garbage Gulper.
That is a solid silver tip.
It's a beautiful thing.
Yeah, really.
All right, here we go, here we go.
(crunching) Oh, hold it, hold it.
Hold it. Big fella! Hold it, big fella!
(whirring) This is Hey, Hold it! Hold it!
Big fella, wait a minute, hold it.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Hey. (Machine whirring)
Easy, easy does it.
Well, at least I saved you the most expensive part.
What am I supposed to do with that?
Are you kidding? It still works. I
I just suggest that you walk very close to tables,
that's all.
Will you take that out of here, all of you?
I don't want to see this knock-off.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
(overlapping shouting)
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
La-la, la-la, la-la, la. ♪
MARION: Oh, Howard,
they didn't like it.
No, they said that America wasn't ready yet
for the Garbage Gulper.
However
they did like our hydraulic system.
Yeah, as a matter of fact,
they paid us $300 for our hydraulic system.
(all talking at once)
$300?
Yeah, dig this, dig this.
We got our names on a patent pending.
That's pretty good, huh?
(all talking at once) That's great!
That's great. That's great.
I'm so proud of you.
Thank you, sweetheart.
You're-You're a man ahead of your time, Dad.
Yeah, well, I couldn't have done it without you, Fonzie.
I don't know how to thank you.
Well, you know, you can give me the $300.
Oh, I don't want to do that.
But I'll give you a little hug.
Yeah. Once. Hmm?
Okay, that's enough.
Yeah, that's enough.
Partner, huh?
All right, partner.
Congratulations.
All right, look at this.
My best friend and my dad.
I want to just give you something as a memento
of this moment.
Oh. Isn't that nice?
Well, how come you're giving me my own camera?
Oh, no. No.
I'm going to take a picture of Fonzie and you.
Oh.
And your dream blimp.
That's terrific, huh?
Hey, let me ask you a question.
Does this blink?
No, no, it's just a blimp.
Oh. Well, my partner and I will fix that right away.
Yeah. Okay.
Okay, get ready.
Yeah, I'm-I'm ready.
(clears throat)
Hey, I'm just kidding, partner.
I'm just kidding.
La, la-la, la ♪
RICHIE: I got it! La, la-la, la ♪
La, la-la, la, la, la-la, la. ♪
Right, $300. I'll tell him.
Yeah, well, no, I'm not
I'll ask him, dear.
All right, bye-bye, dear.
I just talked to Joanie,
and she said she's so happy for you.
Oh, and she said she wanted to know
if she could quit welding school.
Well, we'll see.
I guess maybe I got carried away too much, huh?
Oh, Arthur.
I'm just so sorry that you and Howard
didn't become rich and famous.
You know, Fonzie,
you're amazing; You never get depressed.
Oh, that's only on the outside,
but deep, deep, deep, way deep down, I get depressed.
But I got my own way of, uh, drowning my sorrows.
Excuse me.
Whoa.
(band plays bluesy melody)
These days are ours ♪
. ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
! ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
(organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps)
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days ♪
Are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours ♪
! ♪
You ain't gonna rock and roll no more ♪
.
Let's see that dust fly with that broom ♪
Get all that garbage out of sight ♪
Or you don't go out Friday night ♪
Yakety yak, yakety yak ♪
Yakety yak, yakety yak ♪
Yakety yak, yakety yak ♪
(engine revving)
Yakety yak, yakety yak ♪
Yak! ♪
(all laugh)
Can we open our eyes now, Dad?
You got to keep them closed until Fonzie gets here.
(sighing): Oh.
Hey, greet-amundo!
Fonzie, cover your eyes.
Cover my eyes, all right.
Sit down.
How can I sit down if I can't see where I'm going?
Come on. Easy does it.
There you are. Thanks.
Okay, everybody can open your eyes.
Well, why did we have our eyes closed?
Look.
On the counter, there is a bag of garbage.
How did that get there?
That's a good trick, Dad.
Oh, yeah, listen, next time tell me in advance,
I'll bring all my friends over; We'll laugh hysterically.
All right, will everybody just calm down please? All right.
Marion, would you bring the garbage over here please?
Howard, I'm not having fun.
Who is?
That's it?
That's-that's what we all closed our eyes for?
Look, will you just calm down for a minute please?
Marion, I want you to bring the garbage over here.
Right over here.
Good!
(laughter)
Dad, I think maybe you better go upstairs and take a rest.
(laughter)
It's not funny.
Now look at this rug, and I've got to pick it up.
No, no, no, no, no! Leave it alone,
That's clean garbage.
I just picked it fresh.
Picked it fresh?
Maybe I better go upstairs and take a little rest.
(laughs)
I've been breaking myself up all week.
(laughter)
All right, everybody come over here and gather around.
I want to show you some plans. Oh, come on, Dad.
Come on, right over here.
Now then, it has always been
my secret ambition to be an inventor.
You never told me that.
It was a secret.
Oh.
Oh, I'm gonna clean up that garbage.
Now, just sit down, Marion, please.
Now, exactly two weeks ago, the same thing happened to me
that just happened to Mother.
Is this your idea of revenge?
And I suddenly thought to myself, I mean,
in this day and age, here we are in the '50s,
that a person should not have to carry the garbage out
15 times a week.
Hey, you know, I totally agree.
That's why I never have the same chick
pick up garbage, take it out twice in a row.
Oh, that's good, good.
Thank you, thank you.
Well, anyway, I thought that there should be
some way to sort of keep it in the kitchen, you know?
Sort of push it all together.
And maybe only take it out once or twice a week.
You know what I mean?
Sure.
It's called piling it up in the corner.
(laughs)
No, I mean putting it in some kind of a special container
and-and squeezing it all together.
Oh, yuck, Dad!
I can't believe we're having this conversation.
I can't stand it.
I've got to clean up that garbage.
Hey, I'll tell you something, Mrs. C.,
I think the Big H. Here's got the right idea.
I think what you're talking about, if I get it,
is that you want to squeeze it all together
like they do with old cars when they put them to rest.
Exact-amundo!
Whoa!
Hey, hey, Dad, you know, it's too bad you don't have
some, uh, big corporation behind this idea, you know?
Why do I need a big corporation?
Listen, all of the great inventions in life
have been by the little man.
You know the Wright Brothers?
They invented the airplane in their own bicycle shop.
Yeah, but they were just trying to build
a very wide bicycle and it took off.
And Jenny Piccolo,
she invented the first see-through nightie.
Marion.
I don't wear a see-through nightie.
Will you talk to Joanie, please?
Dear, I'm sure you're wrong.
It was a man named Frederick in Hollywood.
Well, Fonzie, what do you think of the plans?
Uh, I'll tell you, see,
I think they're very good for a start, Mr. C.
What do you mean "for a start"?
I'm all ready to build it.
Oh, well, you can build this, you know,
but it ain't going to work.
What? Why won't it work?
Well, right here, the spring action
ain't going to make it, you know?
Well, what else am I going to use?
Hydraulic lifts.
Really?
Oh, yeah, the cylinders right in there.
You know, um, uh, on, on a garage floor,
you got the hydraulic lift, right?
You press a button, it kind of raises the car up?
Yeah. Well, with garbage, instead of raise, push.
Hey, Dad, I think that's your solution right there.
Oh, boy, hydraulics I don't know much about that.
I'm not very good with my hands.
Oh, I wouldn't say that. Marion.
He's, uh, great at card tricks.
Dad, why don't you just get, uh, Fonzie to help you?
He's great with his hands.
He's a mechanical genius.
Heyyy.
(Fonzie and Richie chuckle)
Well, how about it, Fonzie?
You want to work on this together?
Look, gentlemen, I am very busy.
I don't think I have the time, huh?
Oh, Fonz? Yeah?
Uh, you know, you, you really should go in on it with Dad.
Why?
Why, Dad?
Talk. Oh.
Well, golly, gee, Fonz. Oh, for
I mean,
it's the, uh, the thrill of of invention,
the, the excitement of it, and,
uh, and you'd be great at it.
Yeah. Really
Really good You could help Howard,
work with him.
How can I turn a face like that down?
All right, I'll see what I can do, huh?
All right, Fonz!
You know you got my steam up?
Come on, let's go out to the garage.
I want to show you all the parts I got so far.
Come on, partner.
♪♪
One question.
Who said "Stop the music?"
POTSIE & RALPH: Him.
There are people trying to dance here.
Oh, well, Fonz, you see,
this isn't really a formal dance.
This is just a rehearsal for us, and, uh,
there's nobody dancing here, it's not really a dance.
.
Why don't we just play something, guys?
(playing bluesy tune)
Fonzie, Fonzie, I've been looking all over for you.
Yeah?
Well, I've been here all the time.
Yeah, but you, you were supposed
to be at my place at 8:00 this morning.
Well, Doris came by.
You know how things are, Mr. C.
Oh, well, look, Doris
I'm terribly sorry, but Fonzie is helping me.
Uh, Mr. C., this ain't Doris.
She had to go to work at 9:00.
This is Eileen.
Oh.
Well, Eileen, would you please excuse us?
I have to talk to you, Fonzie.
All right, all right, all right.
Just keep your motors running, huh?
(groans) I got to put this down, it's getting heavy.
Over here.
Excuse me, guys.
Sorry, but it's very heavy.
Fellas, fellas, people are trying to eat here.
Now, what is this contraption?
Oh, this is a Garbage Gulper.
Howard.
We got a little rule in the restaurant business.
We never say "garbage"
in front of the customers.
What's that, Al, what's that?
Garbage!
Ugh. Oh!
You see what you did?
Boys
Mr. C., this looks perfect to me.
Now what's the problem?
Now, listen, Fonzie.
In just two days we've got an appointment
to demonstrate this machine,
and this part here that's supposed to move,
it doesn't move.
Well, I see the problem it's not connected.
I'll fix it for you.
When? When? I don't know.
I got a date right now, soon, huh?
Send her home.
Here, sweetheart, you run along,
Fonzie's gonna be very busy now.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Hey! Now, excuse me,
Mr. C., all right, for one minute?
(snaps fingers) Richie my office.
Uh, do yourself a favor, have a malted, okay?
I don't want a malted.
Eileen, dance with him.
I don't want to dance.
♪♪
Dream ♪
Dream, dream, dream ♪
Dream ♪
Is it safe to leave your chick alone with my dad out there?
Let me tell you something, Red.
I am not safe with your father.
He is going berserko with his Garbage Gulper.
Can you dig it? Yeah, I know.
He means well, but he's really starting to,
starting to drive me crazy.
Yeah, I gotta tell you something,
I don't care what he's doing for you.
You're the one that got me into
this mess, huh?
(imitating Richie): "Oh, golly gee, Fonz."
"Oh come on, be an inventor.
"Oh golly, gee, Fonz.
Oh, come on, just-just be a partner."
I only said one "Golly, gee."
Do you know that he sent Eileen home?
That's nothing. That's nothing?
He's got all kinds of crazy ideas.
He wants to start a corporation.
Can you believe that? A corporation.
And he wants me to be the accountant.
Wants me to wear a green eye shade.
Now, you know how lousy I look in hats.
Hey, let me tell you something, that's nothing.
I have to have lunch with him every single day,
and I have to have the businessman's special.
That's nothing he's sending Joanie
to welding school.
Hey, Red, that is nothing.
Do you know that he meets girls
at the bottom of my stairway,
and I have to and he sends them home
I don't even get a chance to look at 'em?
Now, that's something.
You're telling me, that is something.
(phone rings)
I am busy!
All right.
Now, now get this, Fonz, because this is serious.
Yeah.
He wants to set up factories all over the world. Factories.
He's even got a name for the corporation.
Yeah, well, I want to tell you something.
You better do something about your dad.
Yeah.
He wants to call it.
"Fonz-How, Incorporated."
Yeah.
He wants to go public with it,
put it on the New York Stock Exchange and everything.
Fonz-How, Inc.?
Well, yeah.
Yeah, well, you see, it's Arthur Fonzarelli
and Howard Cunningham.
Oh, yeah, I got that in very, very large lights.
Fonz-How, Inc.
I don't know what we're gonna do about him.
I do. Good.
You get a blimp.
With very, very large lights
blinking all over the world
Fonz-How, Inc.
A blimp.
Fonz-How
Whoa!
Can we fix it? Of course we can fix it.
Let me see it.
All right, now, I'll bet you
that it is this arm right here is too tight, you got
Let me have that knife, right here, just for a minute,
just for a minute. All right, now look,
if we take if we take this lever right here, you see?
Yeah. All right,
and we just tighten it. Just
one couple right, just
All right, I'll bet you now
all we have to do is, uh There you go.
You-you bent my knife.
Oh, it's going to be a very famous knife, Al.
We'll just take this right into the kitchen, right?
My kitchen? You're going to take
that thing into my nice kitchen?
Al, I don't think you understand.
This is a very important day at Arnold's, you understand?
Makes history here.
This could be the start of everything.
You mean, this could really be big?
Sure, bigger than hamburgers, Al.
We're talking about factories, franchises,
New York Stock Exchange.
Blimps!
What blimps? We'll talk later.
Could I ride in the blimp?
Yeah, you can ride in the blimp.
Let me take this.
Clarence, I'm going to ride in a blimp!
Come on, partner.
RICHIE: Okay, all right, I got a solution.
Now, obviously, we're never going
to be able to play this song right.
Yeah. So, we got to gloss over it with movement.
Yeah? Well, I was made for movement.
Bo Diddly!
(band playing bluesy melody)
HOWARD: All right, put the garbage in, Fonz.
FONZIE: Hey, you got it, partner.
AL: That's my cucumber salad!
HOWARD: Okay, let it go, Fonz.
(explosive rumbling)
We must really be off.
Yeah.
That's the first time people threw food at us.
(melody resumes)
Okay, so it's got a few kinks in it.
We'll work it out.
!
We did it!
Marion, Richie, Joanie, come on down here!
HOWARD (laughing): It works! It works!
We did it. MARION: Howard.
Howard, why the yelling? It works.
It's 3:00 in the morning.
Come on, come on, it works! Really?
Oh, this is exciting.
Oh, now, this is fun. Congratulations.
Oh, that's great, Dad. That's great, Dad.
Start it up. Start it up.
Well, all right, I'll just, uh, press the button.
Wait! Are you going to hug me again?
You just can't turn on a switch like this.
Don't you realize that this is an historical moment?
I mean, the minute that switch goes on,
the world is never going to be the same again.
We're going to have whatever we want.
Can I drop out of welding school, Dad?
We'll see.
Fonzie
Whoa.
It's your honor.
In the name of Fonz-How, Inc.
(machine hums)
(machine clatters and stops)
That was exciting.
Doesn't work.
It doesn't work!
What happened? It doesn't work!
Oh, no! That's all right, all right.
Mr. C, please! Oh, Dad.
Oh, gosh, everyone go to bed.
Oh, Howard, now it's going to be all right.
Come to bed, and you'll see.
It'll be It'll be all right tomorrow, dear.
Well, why don't you fix it like you always do?
Give it the old Fonzie bang.
That's an idea.
Wait a minute. It's not an idea.
See, this is not a simple toy.
This is heavy machinery.
We're talking about hydraulics here.
Oh, Fonzie's right. It's useless.
Go to bed, everyone.
Oh, Howard, why don't you just give it one
Marion, please!
Yes, dear, we'll all go to bed.
Well, it was good while it worked, Dad.
Hey, uh, yeah, don't worry, Dad, because, uh,
first time out,
Alexander Graham Bell got a wrong number.
Hey, Mr. C., don't worry about it.
We can have it fixed in a jiffy.
No, Fonzie, I am through.
Finished.
This Garbage Gulper was a crazy idea.
I quit. Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute. That is not right.
This Garbage Gulper was a great idea,
and you can't just quit like that.
I just did.
Well, what about
if all the great men in history quit, right?
What about Edison and the light bulb?
Then I'd be quitting in the dark.
And what about Macaroni and the radio?
Marconi. Whatever.
Fonzie, I give up!
All right. All right, you can just sit there.
If you want to let the American housewife down,
that's up to you.
But this is one man that would never let women down.
Now, would you be so kind as to hand me a screwdriver?
Yeah, maybe if we just adjust this lever, huh?
All right, maybe it's too tight.
That's it.
We're going to have this fixed, Mr. C.,
and then we can show them, you know?
Well, you just don't show it, Fonzie, you got to sell it.
You got to make a presentation.
You know, I remember when they sold the rake,
they had a 20-minute film.
Oh, it was so boring.
We're gon We're gonna make a film?
Maybe we can use the blimp.
We won't have time for that,
but we'll give them a presentation
they'll never forget.
Gentlemen, this is a Garbage Gulper.
A catchy name, huh? Huh?
Richard?
Now, what this does is take a week's garbage
and compact it into one small, tiny package.
You're very dynamic, Howard.
Thank you.
So what we have here is garbage,
and the great need for the How-Fonz Garbage Gulper.
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
Oh, excuse me. The Fonz-How Garbage Gulper.
And now, I would like to introduce you
to the gentleman who's in charge of our marketing survey.
And accounting.
As you know, a housewife has many responsibilities
raising the children, shopping for food
and taking care of her family's many needs.
Now I'd like to introduce
to you a typical American housewife
who will give you her unbiased opinion of garbage.
(Richie, Potsie and Ralph hum "Stars and Stripes Forever")
My many, numerous, happy chores
are interrupted many times a day
by taking out the garbage.
How many times have I said
to myself, "Golly, gee, I wish I had a machine"
"that could compress the garbage,
and then I would just have to make one trip a week?"
Thank you, typical American housewife.
You know,
I just realized that garbage is a plague on this earth.
It's I just spend time
constantly taking out the garbage.
I mean, who would think that a family of four
could make so much garbage?
Uh, uh, thank you, Marion.
This is my son.
I have a daughter, also.
Well, I'm sorry your daughter couldn't make it.
They could use a soprano.
She went to the movies with Jenny Piccolo.
Marion, can we get on Boys!
(one final hum)
And now, Mr. Fonzarelli will demonstrate the machine.
All right. Potsie, let's-let's
put the garbage right in here.
Right, uh, garbage in, Fonz.
All right.
I've just got to turn this on.
(whirring)
Oh. Oh, my, my.
That-That really seems to be working.
Oh, my, this is fun.
Oh, give me all the garbage.
Oh. Especially the liverwurst.
Get the liverwurst in here.
Oh, wow, look at all the garbage going in there.
Here we go.
Oh, more trash, come on, more trash.
That's it. Right in here.
(clanks)
(machine stops) What happened?
Uh, no sweat, no sweat. Just overload.
Just overload. Hey, any of you guys in here got a broom?
Uh, your walking stick will do.
No, no, no, that's a very expensive walking stick.
Leave that alone.
Well, so is the Garbage Gulper.
That is a solid silver tip.
It's a beautiful thing.
Yeah, really.
All right, here we go, here we go.
(crunching) Oh, hold it, hold it.
Hold it. Big fella! Hold it, big fella!
(whirring) This is Hey, Hold it! Hold it!
Big fella, wait a minute, hold it.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Hey. (Machine whirring)
Easy, easy does it.
Well, at least I saved you the most expensive part.
What am I supposed to do with that?
Are you kidding? It still works. I
I just suggest that you walk very close to tables,
that's all.
Will you take that out of here, all of you?
I don't want to see this knock-off.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
(overlapping shouting)
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
La-la, la-la, la-la, la. ♪
MARION: Oh, Howard,
they didn't like it.
No, they said that America wasn't ready yet
for the Garbage Gulper.
However
they did like our hydraulic system.
Yeah, as a matter of fact,
they paid us $300 for our hydraulic system.
(all talking at once)
$300?
Yeah, dig this, dig this.
We got our names on a patent pending.
That's pretty good, huh?
(all talking at once) That's great!
That's great. That's great.
I'm so proud of you.
Thank you, sweetheart.
You're-You're a man ahead of your time, Dad.
Yeah, well, I couldn't have done it without you, Fonzie.
I don't know how to thank you.
Well, you know, you can give me the $300.
Oh, I don't want to do that.
But I'll give you a little hug.
Yeah. Once. Hmm?
Okay, that's enough.
Yeah, that's enough.
Partner, huh?
All right, partner.
Congratulations.
All right, look at this.
My best friend and my dad.
I want to just give you something as a memento
of this moment.
Oh. Isn't that nice?
Well, how come you're giving me my own camera?
Oh, no. No.
I'm going to take a picture of Fonzie and you.
Oh.
And your dream blimp.
That's terrific, huh?
Hey, let me ask you a question.
Does this blink?
No, no, it's just a blimp.
Oh. Well, my partner and I will fix that right away.
Yeah. Okay.
Okay, get ready.
Yeah, I'm-I'm ready.
(clears throat)
Hey, I'm just kidding, partner.
I'm just kidding.
La, la-la, la ♪
RICHIE: I got it! La, la-la, la ♪
La, la-la, la, la, la-la, la. ♪
Right, $300. I'll tell him.
Yeah, well, no, I'm not
I'll ask him, dear.
All right, bye-bye, dear.
I just talked to Joanie,
and she said she's so happy for you.
Oh, and she said she wanted to know
if she could quit welding school.
Well, we'll see.
I guess maybe I got carried away too much, huh?
Oh, Arthur.
I'm just so sorry that you and Howard
didn't become rich and famous.
You know, Fonzie,
you're amazing; You never get depressed.
Oh, that's only on the outside,
but deep, deep, deep, way deep down, I get depressed.
But I got my own way of, uh, drowning my sorrows.
Excuse me.
Whoa.
(band plays bluesy melody)
These days are ours ♪
. ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
! ♪