Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s04e35 Episode Script
9061-025 - Raphael Drives 'Em Wild
[theme song.]
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell And they're green Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles When the evil Shredder attacks These turtle boys don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool, but rude Gimme a break.
Michelangelo is a party dude Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power [ticking.]
Okay, dudes, so where's Raphael with those pizzas? I'm having a mega-munchie attack.
Maybe he forgot.
When a turtle promises to pick up dinner, you can bet your shell on it he'll deliver I hope.
Wow.
Time sure flies when you're watching a great art film.
Uh-oh, I nearly forgot.
It's my turn to pick up dinner.
Oh, where's a cab when you need one? Yo, taxi! [whistles.]
Ah, who needs ya? [horn honks.]
[brakes screech.]
Ya-ah-ah! Watch where you're walkin', twerp! [shouting.]
Whoa-oa-oa! Out of the way! Out of the way! Oh, no! Well, what do you know? Vinnie's.
[chuckles.]
I've got to remember this shortcut.
All set, Mr.
Big.
I swiped that, uh, thing from the lab without a hitch.
[Man.]
It's called a transmographier.
Now, get over to Pier 53 and kidnap that premier of Vadeem.
Soon that transmographier will exchange your brain with his.
[chuckling.]
Gee, that's a lousy trick to play on a premier.
But what if my brain gets stuck in that guy's body? [Man.]
You should be so lucky.
Once you're thinking for Vadeem, you'll sign all of his oil deeds over to me.
But if he's got my brain, how's he gonna learn to write his name? I'll enroll him in night school.
Now, hurry and get down to the dock.
Right, Mr.
Big.
Hold it! Stop! [tires screech.]
What's wrong? I want to pick up a couple of pizzas.
Go back to that pizzeria we just passed.
Vinnie's? Sure thing.
Don't forget, pal, the meter's still running.
Oh, great.
An empty cab.
Okay, just drop me off at-- You already told me, buddy.
I ain't stupid, you know.
[Raphael.]
Hey, not so fast! Whoa-oa! First you tell me to step on it, then you tell me to slow down.
Make up your mind, will ya? [grunting.]
Do I have to pay extra for the thrill ride? No, but you do have to pay extra for them pizzas.
This ain't no delivery service, you know.
Big-city cab drivers.
Don't you just love 'em? Okay, cabbie, I'm back.
[grunts.]
Hey! [sputtering.]
The cabbie's gone, along with the âtransfrogamier.
â The boss is gonna kill me! [horn honking.]
Move it, lady! This ain't a parking lot! Whoa-oa! You gonna drive that thing or put a fence around it? Soon they'll be giving driver's licenses to chimpanzees.
I think they already did.
Oh, no! [tires screech.]
[shouting.]
[shouting.]
[whirring.]
That's it! I've had it with you cabbies! [gasps.]
On second thought âLive and let live,â I always say.
[coughing, cabbie's voice.]
What's this? I didn't hear nothin' about a fog alert.
Hey, buddy, you okay in there? [Raphael's voice.]
Are you sure you didn't get your driver's license in a box of popcorn? Quit complainin'.
You're alive, ain't ya? I think so.
Then get in the cab and try to remember that passengers ride in the back.
Lucky for us I'm such a terrific driver.
Now, where was it you were headed, pal? Just drop me at the next zoo.
[April.]
Well, so that's the premier of Vadeem.
[Burne.]
That's him, April.
Every other news channel has struck out trying to get an interview with him.
I hear he's not only single, he's a billionaire! Which, of course, means nothing to me.
I'll just bet.
Now, look, look, look.
He's leaving from Pier 53 on his private yacht.
I want your interview with him on tonight's Me, interview the premier of Vadeem? Unless you'd rather do a story on ragweed with Vernon.
I'm on my way.
How could you be so stupid? You know how much that transmographier means for this operation.
How could you lose it? Well, you see, boss, I got real hungry.
You ate it? No.
I stopped for a pizza.
A pizza? That does it! Put me down this instant! Ouch! Now lift me up again! Now, where did you see the transmographier last? It was, uh, um In the cab! Yeah, that's it! I left it in the cab! Now, listen to me and listen good.
You've got exactly 1 hour to find that cab, understand? Heck, that shouldn't be so hard.
There's only 4 million of them in the city.
âOnly 4 million of themâ? Hey, if he was a genius, he wouldn't be doing this kind of work.
Right, Vinnie.
Okay, catch you later, dude.
Well, what did Vinnie say? Was Raphael at his pizzeria? Uh-huh, but he split over 2 hours ago.
Something must've happened to him.
[clattering.]
Hey, cancel the call to the Bureau of Missing Turtles.
Here he comes now.
Okay, guys, who gets the pepperoni and who gets the onions? It's an intruder! And the dude's wearing Raphael's duds! Jump him! [karate yells.]
All right, you, come out from under there, real slow.
Okay.
So I was a little late with the pizzas.
Don't you think you guys are overreacting just a little? Never mind that.
Tell us who you are.
Isn't it obvious? I'm Raphael, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, and and definitely the looker of the group.
The dude really thinks he is Raphael.
Is this one of Master Splinter's tricks? Run a surprise ninja attack on Raphael? Well, I'm on to you.
It didn't work.
Hey.
How could he know about Master Splinter? This whole thing is totally âmondo bizarre-o.
â Okay, mister, then who am I? You're the brainiac of the group.
As for me, I think I've just entered the turtle twilight zone.
[horn honking.]
[cabbie's voice.]
Where'd you learn to drive? On a Coney Island roller coaster? Hey, fella, this ain't a parking lot! Mind if I make a buck here? Oh, please be careful, driver.
The cake is for my wife's 40th birthday.
Sure, sure.
Listen, pal, I'm gonna have to charge you extra for the cake.
Excess luggage, you know.
Fine, fine.
Just get both of us there in one piece, please? Whoa-oa! No sign of that cab yet, Mr.
Big.
Well, keep looking.
[engine revs, tires screech.]
There it is, boss! I found it! Quick, let me see, let me see! See? There it is, the one that says âOscar's Cab Service.
â Follow that taxi! Cut him off! Oh, there's my apartment house.
We made it.
We got him, boss! My birthday cake is ruined.
My wife will kill me.
I'll tell you what, pal-- You can forget about the tip.
Little Huey, you'll pay for this! I know.
Cake always goes straight to my hips.
Hey, cabbie, you free? Sure.
Where to, Mac? We'll tell you when we get there.
So, uh, how you doing, uh, Raphael? I'm doing fine.
You're the ones who are acting weird.
Oh, no, dude.
We're cool.
If you are.
Speaking of weird, there's old Vernon.
This is Vernon Fenwick with a live interview from the Meridian Mind Institute, where a theft has taken place.
Will you fill us in on the details, Professor? Someone stole our transmographier.
Is it true that it can make brain switches between 2 people? Yes, but it has a major flaw.
Once it's been triggered, it goes into a random self-destruct mode.
Now, in the wrong hands, it could pretty much blow up half the city.
[Vernon.]
You mean that someone could be carrying around a ticking bomb and not know it? Exactly.
But first these warning lights would begin to flash.
After that, we have no way of knowing when it will explode.
Hey.
Somehow Raphael got involved with this transmographier.
His mind got switched with whoever that guy is.
You mean that dude really is Raphael? Well, in a way.
See, Raphael's mind is trapped inside that guy's body, only he doesn't know it.
Why don't we just ask him where the real Raphael is so he can take us to him? Because he wouldn't know what you're talking about.
Right now he thinks he's a Ninja Turtle.
Well, so, like, what do we do? Well, we try to get our hands on that transmographier blueprint and see what I can do to change him back.
[horn honking.]
Come on, you jerks! Move it! Keep looking for that transmographier.
It's got to be here.
Okay, fellas, enough sightseeing.
Where to? Take us to Pier 53.
Pier 53.
Right.
[engine revs.]
There it is.
I found it.
Gee.
These little lights weren't twinkling before.
Oh, who cares? Now, we grab the premier, and all that nice, greasy oil will be mine! Boy, it's a good thing I gassed up the turtle van.
Hey, you guys! wait up! Sorry, fella-- uh, Raphael.
We have to get to that lab in a hurry.
[breathing heavily.]
Okay.
On second thought, you guys go ahead.
I'll catch up with you.
Man, I don't get it.
This morning I spent and I wasn't even winded.
You probably overdid it, dude.
No problemo.
Hop on.
Thanks, Michelangelo.
So, guys, who are we rescuing this time? A real close friend.
Then let's make turtle tracks! Turtle power! [tires screech.]
Hang on! Whoa! What is it with you passengers? Everybody wants to ride up front.
[seethes.]
[horn honks.]
Raphael, is that you? Are you talkin' to me? Raphael, it is you.
Sorry, lady.
There ain't no Raphael on this ship.
There's definitely something strange going on around here.
I'd better contact the Turtles.
Yeah, April, what's up? Maybe I'm losing my mind, but I just saw Raphael driving a cab.
So that's where he is.
Then it was Raphael? Well, yeah, on the outside, but not on the inside.
Huh? Well, uh, I'll explain later.
Where is he heading? I don't know, but I'm on his trail.
Don't let him out of your sight.
We've got to make a stop at the Meridian Laboratories.
We've got to get the blueprints for that transmographier.
Let's go, Turtles.
[karate yells.]
Yaah! Oy, vey! Uh, good move, Raphael.
We need someone to stay outside and be a lookout.
Uh, y-yeah, well, sure.
That's That's why I did it.
Luckily Raphael's cab led right to the pier where the premier keeps his yacht.
I might get that interview after all.
Coming through.
Out of the way, lady.
Wha Where are you taking the premier? Precisely my question too.
Where are you taking me? Uh, we're going to show you the sights of the city.
Sorry, but I refuse to go anywhere with you.
Premier, I think we're about to change your mind.
Literally.
[chuckling.]
They're kidnapping him! All right, get going! Hold on.
I got to charge you double for an extra passenger.
All right! Just get us out of here, and fast! Geez, everybody's in such a hurry.
The premier of Vadeem has just been abducted, and Raphael was driving the cab! [horn honking.]
Hey, boss, these lights are starting to twinkle like crazy.
Why are you telling me this? I can't be bothered with some stupid lights! [siren wailing.]
[cabbie's voice.]
Oh, great.
It's the cops.
I'm warning you, you will pay for this! You sure will.
I get a ticket, it's coming out of your pocket.
It's the cops, all right.
Lose them! Okay, but just so you know, losing cops is Don't negotiate, just do it! Cowabunga! That's some awesome driving, bud! Uh, I mean Raphael.
Lucky for us our buddy was brain-switched with a cab driver.
Yeah.
Feels like I was born behind the wheel of one of these things.
Some turtles have all the luck.
I was born behind one of those little castles in an aquarium.
Oh, and now for the bad news.
It looks like the transmographier is running out of time.
[siren wailing.]
Now the police think Raphael is part of the kidnapping plot.
I've got to notify the others! [device beeps.]
Leonardo here.
It's Raphael.
He's in big trouble! So what else is new? A couple of thugs kidnapped the premier of Vadeem, and Raphael is driving the getaway cab! Me, driving a getaway cab? That's crazy.
I'm right here driving the turtle van.
If we don't find that cabbie fast, we're all in big trouble.
Right, as in, âkablooey.
â Please hurry.
We're crossing the intersection of Broadway and 13th.
We're on the way to intercept you.
Just don't get too close to that cab.
It could blow up at any moment.
Okay, we're here.
Quick.
Pull into that warehouse.
You guys are serious, ain't ya? [siren wailing.]
The cab is gone.
It's disappeared into thin air! Okay, out you go.
Why did you bring me here? 'Cause we got a little foreign exchange to take care of.
This gadget is going to exchange Little Huey's brain for yours.
[chuckling.]
Since I'm gonna be in there, I'm glad you're such a neat dresser.
I beseech you, as a citizen of this great nation, you must help me.
Look, pal, I'm only the cabbie.
I don't get involved.
Okay, Mac, just hand over the fare, plus that bonus for ditching the cops, and I'm history.
You're history, all right.
Oscar's Cab Service is about to be permanently put out of business.
[chuckling.]
Hey, April, looking good! Who is that? It's Raphael.
He's just bulked up a little.
Yeah, the dude's looking awesome, don't you think? Yes, I, uh, hardly recognize him.
[karate yells.]
Just go along with it, okay? It is Raphael, uh, deep down.
Wait a minute.
I saw that report about the stolen mind-switcher gadget-- the trans trans Mographier.
Right.
See, I figure Raphael and this guy got zapped at the same time, and their brains are switched.
But if that thing's been triggered, then it's a time bomb! Yeah, that's why I borrowed the blueprints from the lab.
I'm looking for a way to disarm it.
So where's that taxicab? I lost it.
I have no idea where it went.
[karate yells.]
Bring on those creeps! I'm ready for 'em! Look, pal, nobody stiffs Oscar.
Now, hand over that fare, or I'll I'll You'll what? I'll take this.
No! Not the transmographier! Give it to me! [beeping.]
Whoa! What's that noise? Be careful! Don't drop it! Now it's beeping.
It wasn't doing that when I stole it from the lab.
Will you shut up? First kidnapping, now swiping things that beep.
I think there's something rotten in Brooklyn.
So what are you gonna do about it? How weird.
I suddenly got this feeling I'm a ninja master.
Ee-yah! âEe-yahâ? Where did that come from? Sure sounded good, though.
Take care of that clown! Right, boss! [shouting.]
You leave my strong-arm goon alone! Ya-hah! [both groaning.]
You are incredible! A genuine black-belt! What do you know? I guess my body's got a mind of its own.
Let's get out of here.
Quick, into the cab! Hang on, fella.
You're about to get the ride of a lifetime.
And because it's you, I won't even turn on the meter.
Oh, no! [tires screeching.]
There's the taxicab! And there go the kidnappers! Oh, we can't lose 'em this time.
[horn honking.]
You sure you can stay on their tail, Raphael? Piece of cake.
I've got it! I've found the way to disarm that transmographier.
Totally turbo, dude! But what do you say we find it first? Drive this baby, Raphael! Drive! You got it! Hang on! Whoa-oa! Oh, dear! No-o-o! Look out! [beeping.]
[device humming.]
What's going on? I feel so strange.
Me too.
But I got more important things to think of, like who's gonna pay for the damage? Raphael, is that you? Sorry, guys.
I guess I lost control of the van.
The van? You were driving the van? No, I was driving a pumpkin on the way to Cinderella's ball.
Raphael! It is you! Boy, you guys are acting awfully weird.
The transmographier! Where is it? You mean this thing? Oh, that's it, all right.
And that's just how you turn off the self-destruct chip.
You crush it.
Fella, you are one dynamite cabbie.
Huh? Let me out of here! Sure, we'll let you out, once the police escort gets here.
Talk about a scoop! Just in time for the 11:00 news! I remember you-- the young lady who wanted an interview.
That's me, Mr.
Premier.
And you shall have it.
Shall we say over a candlelit dinner aboard my yacht? I'll bring the candles.
[news theme.]
Look! There's Oscar now! As mayor, I wish to thank you for your heroic actions in rescuing the premier of Vadeem.
It's cabbies like you who are the heart of our fair city.
Thanks, Mayor.
If you need me again, just whistle.
Like this.
[whistles.]
Way to go, Oscar! Now, explain it to me one more time.
I was really a cabbie and Oscar was really a Ninja Turtle? [all grumbling.]
[theme.]
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell And they're green Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles When the evil Shredder attacks These turtle boys don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool, but rude Gimme a break.
Michelangelo is a party dude Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power [ticking.]
Okay, dudes, so where's Raphael with those pizzas? I'm having a mega-munchie attack.
Maybe he forgot.
When a turtle promises to pick up dinner, you can bet your shell on it he'll deliver I hope.
Wow.
Time sure flies when you're watching a great art film.
Uh-oh, I nearly forgot.
It's my turn to pick up dinner.
Oh, where's a cab when you need one? Yo, taxi! [whistles.]
Ah, who needs ya? [horn honks.]
[brakes screech.]
Ya-ah-ah! Watch where you're walkin', twerp! [shouting.]
Whoa-oa-oa! Out of the way! Out of the way! Oh, no! Well, what do you know? Vinnie's.
[chuckles.]
I've got to remember this shortcut.
All set, Mr.
Big.
I swiped that, uh, thing from the lab without a hitch.
[Man.]
It's called a transmographier.
Now, get over to Pier 53 and kidnap that premier of Vadeem.
Soon that transmographier will exchange your brain with his.
[chuckling.]
Gee, that's a lousy trick to play on a premier.
But what if my brain gets stuck in that guy's body? [Man.]
You should be so lucky.
Once you're thinking for Vadeem, you'll sign all of his oil deeds over to me.
But if he's got my brain, how's he gonna learn to write his name? I'll enroll him in night school.
Now, hurry and get down to the dock.
Right, Mr.
Big.
Hold it! Stop! [tires screech.]
What's wrong? I want to pick up a couple of pizzas.
Go back to that pizzeria we just passed.
Vinnie's? Sure thing.
Don't forget, pal, the meter's still running.
Oh, great.
An empty cab.
Okay, just drop me off at-- You already told me, buddy.
I ain't stupid, you know.
[Raphael.]
Hey, not so fast! Whoa-oa! First you tell me to step on it, then you tell me to slow down.
Make up your mind, will ya? [grunting.]
Do I have to pay extra for the thrill ride? No, but you do have to pay extra for them pizzas.
This ain't no delivery service, you know.
Big-city cab drivers.
Don't you just love 'em? Okay, cabbie, I'm back.
[grunts.]
Hey! [sputtering.]
The cabbie's gone, along with the âtransfrogamier.
â The boss is gonna kill me! [horn honking.]
Move it, lady! This ain't a parking lot! Whoa-oa! You gonna drive that thing or put a fence around it? Soon they'll be giving driver's licenses to chimpanzees.
I think they already did.
Oh, no! [tires screech.]
[shouting.]
[shouting.]
[whirring.]
That's it! I've had it with you cabbies! [gasps.]
On second thought âLive and let live,â I always say.
[coughing, cabbie's voice.]
What's this? I didn't hear nothin' about a fog alert.
Hey, buddy, you okay in there? [Raphael's voice.]
Are you sure you didn't get your driver's license in a box of popcorn? Quit complainin'.
You're alive, ain't ya? I think so.
Then get in the cab and try to remember that passengers ride in the back.
Lucky for us I'm such a terrific driver.
Now, where was it you were headed, pal? Just drop me at the next zoo.
[April.]
Well, so that's the premier of Vadeem.
[Burne.]
That's him, April.
Every other news channel has struck out trying to get an interview with him.
I hear he's not only single, he's a billionaire! Which, of course, means nothing to me.
I'll just bet.
Now, look, look, look.
He's leaving from Pier 53 on his private yacht.
I want your interview with him on tonight's Me, interview the premier of Vadeem? Unless you'd rather do a story on ragweed with Vernon.
I'm on my way.
How could you be so stupid? You know how much that transmographier means for this operation.
How could you lose it? Well, you see, boss, I got real hungry.
You ate it? No.
I stopped for a pizza.
A pizza? That does it! Put me down this instant! Ouch! Now lift me up again! Now, where did you see the transmographier last? It was, uh, um In the cab! Yeah, that's it! I left it in the cab! Now, listen to me and listen good.
You've got exactly 1 hour to find that cab, understand? Heck, that shouldn't be so hard.
There's only 4 million of them in the city.
âOnly 4 million of themâ? Hey, if he was a genius, he wouldn't be doing this kind of work.
Right, Vinnie.
Okay, catch you later, dude.
Well, what did Vinnie say? Was Raphael at his pizzeria? Uh-huh, but he split over 2 hours ago.
Something must've happened to him.
[clattering.]
Hey, cancel the call to the Bureau of Missing Turtles.
Here he comes now.
Okay, guys, who gets the pepperoni and who gets the onions? It's an intruder! And the dude's wearing Raphael's duds! Jump him! [karate yells.]
All right, you, come out from under there, real slow.
Okay.
So I was a little late with the pizzas.
Don't you think you guys are overreacting just a little? Never mind that.
Tell us who you are.
Isn't it obvious? I'm Raphael, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, and and definitely the looker of the group.
The dude really thinks he is Raphael.
Is this one of Master Splinter's tricks? Run a surprise ninja attack on Raphael? Well, I'm on to you.
It didn't work.
Hey.
How could he know about Master Splinter? This whole thing is totally âmondo bizarre-o.
â Okay, mister, then who am I? You're the brainiac of the group.
As for me, I think I've just entered the turtle twilight zone.
[horn honking.]
[cabbie's voice.]
Where'd you learn to drive? On a Coney Island roller coaster? Hey, fella, this ain't a parking lot! Mind if I make a buck here? Oh, please be careful, driver.
The cake is for my wife's 40th birthday.
Sure, sure.
Listen, pal, I'm gonna have to charge you extra for the cake.
Excess luggage, you know.
Fine, fine.
Just get both of us there in one piece, please? Whoa-oa! No sign of that cab yet, Mr.
Big.
Well, keep looking.
[engine revs, tires screech.]
There it is, boss! I found it! Quick, let me see, let me see! See? There it is, the one that says âOscar's Cab Service.
â Follow that taxi! Cut him off! Oh, there's my apartment house.
We made it.
We got him, boss! My birthday cake is ruined.
My wife will kill me.
I'll tell you what, pal-- You can forget about the tip.
Little Huey, you'll pay for this! I know.
Cake always goes straight to my hips.
Hey, cabbie, you free? Sure.
Where to, Mac? We'll tell you when we get there.
So, uh, how you doing, uh, Raphael? I'm doing fine.
You're the ones who are acting weird.
Oh, no, dude.
We're cool.
If you are.
Speaking of weird, there's old Vernon.
This is Vernon Fenwick with a live interview from the Meridian Mind Institute, where a theft has taken place.
Will you fill us in on the details, Professor? Someone stole our transmographier.
Is it true that it can make brain switches between 2 people? Yes, but it has a major flaw.
Once it's been triggered, it goes into a random self-destruct mode.
Now, in the wrong hands, it could pretty much blow up half the city.
[Vernon.]
You mean that someone could be carrying around a ticking bomb and not know it? Exactly.
But first these warning lights would begin to flash.
After that, we have no way of knowing when it will explode.
Hey.
Somehow Raphael got involved with this transmographier.
His mind got switched with whoever that guy is.
You mean that dude really is Raphael? Well, in a way.
See, Raphael's mind is trapped inside that guy's body, only he doesn't know it.
Why don't we just ask him where the real Raphael is so he can take us to him? Because he wouldn't know what you're talking about.
Right now he thinks he's a Ninja Turtle.
Well, so, like, what do we do? Well, we try to get our hands on that transmographier blueprint and see what I can do to change him back.
[horn honking.]
Come on, you jerks! Move it! Keep looking for that transmographier.
It's got to be here.
Okay, fellas, enough sightseeing.
Where to? Take us to Pier 53.
Pier 53.
Right.
[engine revs.]
There it is.
I found it.
Gee.
These little lights weren't twinkling before.
Oh, who cares? Now, we grab the premier, and all that nice, greasy oil will be mine! Boy, it's a good thing I gassed up the turtle van.
Hey, you guys! wait up! Sorry, fella-- uh, Raphael.
We have to get to that lab in a hurry.
[breathing heavily.]
Okay.
On second thought, you guys go ahead.
I'll catch up with you.
Man, I don't get it.
This morning I spent and I wasn't even winded.
You probably overdid it, dude.
No problemo.
Hop on.
Thanks, Michelangelo.
So, guys, who are we rescuing this time? A real close friend.
Then let's make turtle tracks! Turtle power! [tires screech.]
Hang on! Whoa! What is it with you passengers? Everybody wants to ride up front.
[seethes.]
[horn honks.]
Raphael, is that you? Are you talkin' to me? Raphael, it is you.
Sorry, lady.
There ain't no Raphael on this ship.
There's definitely something strange going on around here.
I'd better contact the Turtles.
Yeah, April, what's up? Maybe I'm losing my mind, but I just saw Raphael driving a cab.
So that's where he is.
Then it was Raphael? Well, yeah, on the outside, but not on the inside.
Huh? Well, uh, I'll explain later.
Where is he heading? I don't know, but I'm on his trail.
Don't let him out of your sight.
We've got to make a stop at the Meridian Laboratories.
We've got to get the blueprints for that transmographier.
Let's go, Turtles.
[karate yells.]
Yaah! Oy, vey! Uh, good move, Raphael.
We need someone to stay outside and be a lookout.
Uh, y-yeah, well, sure.
That's That's why I did it.
Luckily Raphael's cab led right to the pier where the premier keeps his yacht.
I might get that interview after all.
Coming through.
Out of the way, lady.
Wha Where are you taking the premier? Precisely my question too.
Where are you taking me? Uh, we're going to show you the sights of the city.
Sorry, but I refuse to go anywhere with you.
Premier, I think we're about to change your mind.
Literally.
[chuckling.]
They're kidnapping him! All right, get going! Hold on.
I got to charge you double for an extra passenger.
All right! Just get us out of here, and fast! Geez, everybody's in such a hurry.
The premier of Vadeem has just been abducted, and Raphael was driving the cab! [horn honking.]
Hey, boss, these lights are starting to twinkle like crazy.
Why are you telling me this? I can't be bothered with some stupid lights! [siren wailing.]
[cabbie's voice.]
Oh, great.
It's the cops.
I'm warning you, you will pay for this! You sure will.
I get a ticket, it's coming out of your pocket.
It's the cops, all right.
Lose them! Okay, but just so you know, losing cops is Don't negotiate, just do it! Cowabunga! That's some awesome driving, bud! Uh, I mean Raphael.
Lucky for us our buddy was brain-switched with a cab driver.
Yeah.
Feels like I was born behind the wheel of one of these things.
Some turtles have all the luck.
I was born behind one of those little castles in an aquarium.
Oh, and now for the bad news.
It looks like the transmographier is running out of time.
[siren wailing.]
Now the police think Raphael is part of the kidnapping plot.
I've got to notify the others! [device beeps.]
Leonardo here.
It's Raphael.
He's in big trouble! So what else is new? A couple of thugs kidnapped the premier of Vadeem, and Raphael is driving the getaway cab! Me, driving a getaway cab? That's crazy.
I'm right here driving the turtle van.
If we don't find that cabbie fast, we're all in big trouble.
Right, as in, âkablooey.
â Please hurry.
We're crossing the intersection of Broadway and 13th.
We're on the way to intercept you.
Just don't get too close to that cab.
It could blow up at any moment.
Okay, we're here.
Quick.
Pull into that warehouse.
You guys are serious, ain't ya? [siren wailing.]
The cab is gone.
It's disappeared into thin air! Okay, out you go.
Why did you bring me here? 'Cause we got a little foreign exchange to take care of.
This gadget is going to exchange Little Huey's brain for yours.
[chuckling.]
Since I'm gonna be in there, I'm glad you're such a neat dresser.
I beseech you, as a citizen of this great nation, you must help me.
Look, pal, I'm only the cabbie.
I don't get involved.
Okay, Mac, just hand over the fare, plus that bonus for ditching the cops, and I'm history.
You're history, all right.
Oscar's Cab Service is about to be permanently put out of business.
[chuckling.]
Hey, April, looking good! Who is that? It's Raphael.
He's just bulked up a little.
Yeah, the dude's looking awesome, don't you think? Yes, I, uh, hardly recognize him.
[karate yells.]
Just go along with it, okay? It is Raphael, uh, deep down.
Wait a minute.
I saw that report about the stolen mind-switcher gadget-- the trans trans Mographier.
Right.
See, I figure Raphael and this guy got zapped at the same time, and their brains are switched.
But if that thing's been triggered, then it's a time bomb! Yeah, that's why I borrowed the blueprints from the lab.
I'm looking for a way to disarm it.
So where's that taxicab? I lost it.
I have no idea where it went.
[karate yells.]
Bring on those creeps! I'm ready for 'em! Look, pal, nobody stiffs Oscar.
Now, hand over that fare, or I'll I'll You'll what? I'll take this.
No! Not the transmographier! Give it to me! [beeping.]
Whoa! What's that noise? Be careful! Don't drop it! Now it's beeping.
It wasn't doing that when I stole it from the lab.
Will you shut up? First kidnapping, now swiping things that beep.
I think there's something rotten in Brooklyn.
So what are you gonna do about it? How weird.
I suddenly got this feeling I'm a ninja master.
Ee-yah! âEe-yahâ? Where did that come from? Sure sounded good, though.
Take care of that clown! Right, boss! [shouting.]
You leave my strong-arm goon alone! Ya-hah! [both groaning.]
You are incredible! A genuine black-belt! What do you know? I guess my body's got a mind of its own.
Let's get out of here.
Quick, into the cab! Hang on, fella.
You're about to get the ride of a lifetime.
And because it's you, I won't even turn on the meter.
Oh, no! [tires screeching.]
There's the taxicab! And there go the kidnappers! Oh, we can't lose 'em this time.
[horn honking.]
You sure you can stay on their tail, Raphael? Piece of cake.
I've got it! I've found the way to disarm that transmographier.
Totally turbo, dude! But what do you say we find it first? Drive this baby, Raphael! Drive! You got it! Hang on! Whoa-oa! Oh, dear! No-o-o! Look out! [beeping.]
[device humming.]
What's going on? I feel so strange.
Me too.
But I got more important things to think of, like who's gonna pay for the damage? Raphael, is that you? Sorry, guys.
I guess I lost control of the van.
The van? You were driving the van? No, I was driving a pumpkin on the way to Cinderella's ball.
Raphael! It is you! Boy, you guys are acting awfully weird.
The transmographier! Where is it? You mean this thing? Oh, that's it, all right.
And that's just how you turn off the self-destruct chip.
You crush it.
Fella, you are one dynamite cabbie.
Huh? Let me out of here! Sure, we'll let you out, once the police escort gets here.
Talk about a scoop! Just in time for the 11:00 news! I remember you-- the young lady who wanted an interview.
That's me, Mr.
Premier.
And you shall have it.
Shall we say over a candlelit dinner aboard my yacht? I'll bring the candles.
[news theme.]
Look! There's Oscar now! As mayor, I wish to thank you for your heroic actions in rescuing the premier of Vadeem.
It's cabbies like you who are the heart of our fair city.
Thanks, Mayor.
If you need me again, just whistle.
Like this.
[whistles.]
Way to go, Oscar! Now, explain it to me one more time.
I was really a cabbie and Oscar was really a Ninja Turtle? [all grumbling.]
[theme.]