Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s05e01 Episode Script
Relics of Demon Past
1
Jackie: And that
is ursa major,
more commonly referred to
as "the big dipper."
Jade: Incoming!
(Jade burps)
Jackie: Ohh, Jade!
(Tohru giggles)
Jackie: Please, tohru,
do not encourage her.
(Jade burps)
(Tohru stifles giggles)
Uncle: Ai yah!
Jade's belly breezes
not important.
Alignment of stars
reveal that now
is very good time
for very bad chi.
(Explosion)
Drago: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
No prison can hold
the son of shendu.
Captain black:
Give it up, drago.
You're not going anywhere
And neither is
your dragon daddy.
Drago: Now who said
anything about busting out
that old gecko?
I'm going solo.
Men: Aaah! Get away!
(Jackie gasps)
Jackie:
Drago has black
pinned down.
I need to create
a diversion.
Jade: Yo, hothead!
Remember me?
There are no "get out
of jail free" cards
as long as j-girl's
still got game.
Black: Drago!
Jade: Told ya.
Jackie: Jade!
Drago: Hello, payback.
Jackie: Jade!
Jackie: Jade!
Jade: You Tarzan,
me Jade.
(Agents screaming)
(Drago growls)
Drago: Mess with a dragon,
you're gonna get burned!
Jackie: If drago does not
want to help shendu,
then what does he want?
Jade: Hello! Freedom!
Tohru: Perhaps
the answer lies
in the alignment of
the "bad chi" stars.
Uncle: Stars, yes,
but also
in uncle's bookshelf.
Come, tohru,
we must do research!
Black: I have agents
combing the bay area.
Drago won't get far.
Jade: That overgrown handbag
doesn't stand a chance!
So, cb,
what's my assignment?
Jackie:
The only assignments
you will be getting today
are at school.
Jade: Ohhh!
(Kids burping)
(Jade burps loud and long)
Kids: All right!
Ms. hardman: Ahem.
Jade: Heh heh.
Pardon me?
Black:
Looks like t-Rex Jr.'s
catching a catnap.
Jackie: I believe
he is in a trance.
(Cell phone rings)
(Drago growls)
Black: Jackie.
(Ring)
Jackie: Hold, please.
Aaah!
(Phone rings)
Jackie: Hello?
Yes, Ms. hardman,
this is Jade's uncle.
Chow: Ready?
Finn: Let's do it.
Finn: Closing time.
Everybody out.
(Children groaning)
Man: don't forget
to wash your hands.
Woman: Let's go, honey.
It's time to go home.
Second man:
don't give me that.
Finn: Eww!
I hate my job.
Ratso: Wanna switch?
Chow: Come on!
Show's over. Amscray!
Get outta here!
Drago: I am drago,
the son of shendu!
Serve me well now
and be at my side
when I rule the world.
Chow: Uh, sorry, kid,
but your old man
kinda burned us.
Ratso: Yeah. And I got
the scars to prove it.
Drago:
You're turning me down?
Finn: Look, all that
world domination stuff
just don't pay the rent.
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Whaaah!
Drago: Who's next?
Chow: Hey,
money isn't everything.
Drago: Agreed.
Now it's time
for your makeovers.
Chow: Makeovers?
Ratso: But I have
sensitive skin.
All: Yeoww! Aaaah!
Finn: Smokin'!
(Puffs)
Chow: Sweet.
Ratso: Hey, I can make
grilled cheese sandwiches
whenever I want!
Finn: So, what should we
steal first?
Chow: Cash?
Ratso: Jewels?
Drago: A fan.
Ratso: Oh, boy.
Jade: But what about
freedom of expression?
This is America, you know.
Jackie: Jade,
this has nothing to do
with free speech
and everything to do
with self-control.
Promise me,
no more burping.
Jade: Fine.
I'll just explode
from all the built-up gas
before I'm 16.
(Truck brakes screech)
Black:
Drago's been spotted.
Jackie: Jade, stay here.
Jade: Seriously
Jackie: Aaah!
Jade: don't you ever
get tired of saying that?
Drago: The fan's here
somewhere.
I can feel it.
Clear the place out.
Finn: Thought
you'd never ask.
(People screaming)
Finn: Stee-rike!
I see a bus pass
in your future.
Unhh!
Black: And I see
prison stripes in yours.
Jade: No way!
The enforcers are now
drago's fire flunkies?
Chow: Jackie chan!
Long time, no rumble.
Jackie:
I will draw their fire.
You run back
to captain black's truck.
Jade: But Jackie--
Jackie:
And no arguments.
(Jade groans)
Chow: Come out, come out
wherever you are.
Jackie: Hyah!
Chow: Aaah!
Ratso: Yeowww!
Black: Claws up, drago.
Drago: With pleasure.
Black: Aaah! Uhh!
Jackie: Unhh!
Jade: Hello!
Uncle Jackie?
Drago: Say good-bye, Jade.
(Jade gasps)
Jade: Whoa!
Black: I'll grab Jade.
You find drago.
(Air vent whooshes)
Drago: The fan
of the immortals.
(Doorbell rings)
Drago: Unhh!
(Drago exhales)
Drago: Looks like
we'll have to do this
the old-fashioned way.
Black: You boys
need to cool off.
Chow: Aaah!
Ratso: Whoa!
Finn: Get ready to fry,
small fry.
Finn: (Groans) Whoaaah!
Oof!
Jade:
May I also interest you
in new car scent?
Jade: Hyaaah!
Drago: Unhh!
Black: You two all right?
(Rumbling)
(Drago grunts)
Drago: (Groans)
Get the fan!
Chow: ah ha ha-ha!
Jackie: All of this
for a fan?
Uncle: Not a fan.
The fan of
the immortals.
Dragon teeny-bopper
wants to absorb
its powerful
wind demon chi.
Jackie: But uncle,
we already defeated
the other 7 demons.
Ow! Ow!
Uncle: Clean wax
out of ears.
Uncle said "demon chi,"
not demons themselves.
Tohru, explain research.
Tohru: Thousands
of years ago
An immortal warrior used
a magical fan
to defeat xiao fung,
the wind demon.
But traces of
the wind demon's power
are rumored to have
clung to the fan
throughout the centuries,
until--
Jackie: They were again
activated
by the alignment
of the "bad chi" stars
uncle discovered
last night.
Jade: So drago busted out
of section 13
in order to double up
on demon powers,
fire and wind.
Uncle: By stealing
fan of the immortals.
Why did you let demon
take immortal fan?!
Jackie: OhhBad day,
bad day, bad day.
Finn: This dump
is home sweet home?
Drago: This is useless!
The wind demon chi
has already been
drained from it.
Chow: And that's
a bad thing, right?
All: Yeeowww!
Finn: Uh, we're gonna
let you have
a little alone time now.
Jade: Come on!
Let's get outta here
and stomp those fire thugs!
Uncle: Do not rush uncle!
Demon chi removal spell
very tricky.
Jade, make yourself useful.
Get ancient Tome
à of warts and toads
from bookcase.
(Stomach grumbles)
(Burps)
Jade: Aaaaaah!
(Crash)
Jackie: Jade?
(Jade whistling)
Ms. hardman: And early
sailing ships
were also affected
by the doldrums.
(Children giggle)
Ms. hardman: The doldrums
are an area of low pressure
with almost no wind at all.
(Children laughing)
(Jade burps loudly)
Ms. hardman:
That's it, young lady!
I am sending you
straight to the
Nurse's office.
Uncle: Uncle almost finished
with wind demon chi
removal spell.
One more thing--
why has drago not yet used
wind demon powers?
(Cell phone rings)
Jackie: Hello?
Yes, this is Jade's uncle.
Oh.
I will be right there.
The school says Jade
is not feeling well.
I wonder if it has
anything to do
with all those sodas
she drinks?
Chow: This guy's worse
than his old man.
Ratso: But he looks
so peaceful.
Finn: Yeah. So do cobras,
right before they strike.
Drago: Raaah!
We're going to school.
(School bell rings)
(Children
laugh and shout)
Jade: So I'm a little
gassy today.
Blame the cafeteria
burritos.
Aaah!
Jade:
What's wrong with me?!
(Door creaks open)
Drago:
You're short, green,
and a real pain
in the butt.
So stick out your chi
and say "aaah."
Jade: I'm warning you
I don't feel so--
(stomach rumbles)
(Through rushing wind)
Good!
All: Aaah! Unhh!
(Shudders)
Jackie: Jade?
Jade: Uncle Jackie!
(Jackie gasps)
Jackie:What's happened to you?
Jade:What happened to me?
Jackie: Jade, tell me
you've been fooling around
with uncle's spells.
Jade: No, I swear!
I just looked up
and bam! Toad girl!
Jackie: It's all right.
Uncle will know what to do.
Jade: But what if I'm
a gross-out forever?
Just sitting around,
eating flies,
waiting to croak.
Jackie: Time to leave
before your demon prince
arrives.
Drago: I'm gonna need
to see your hall pass.
Jackie: Pardon us,
coming through! Got to run!
(Drago groans)
Drago: Do something!
Jackie: Aah!
Hop on!
Sorry.
Aah! Aah aah!
Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
Hot! Hot!
Drago: Cut off their exit!
(Jackie sighs in relief)
Jade: How did this
happen to me?
Jackie:
You must have absorbed
the wind demon chi
from the immortal fan
at the car wash.
Jade: Me?
The wind demon chi?
So, why am I running?
Jackie: Jade, the longer
the demon chi
remains inside you,
the harder it will be
for uncle to remove.
Uncle: Hello,
uncles antiques.
Jackie: Uncle,
drago and the enforcers
are at Jade's school
and--yaah!
Uncle: Jackie? Jackie?!
Drago: Sorry,
your minutes have expired.
And now, so will you.
Jade: Fire!
(Strong burp)
Drago: Aaah!
Jade: Excuse meNot!
(Jackie coughs)
Jackie: Uh, I could use
a little fresh air.
Jade: Heh heh. Follow me.
(Flames sizzling)
Finn: Keep chan busy.
Jackie: Jade, run!
Uh, hop--whatever!
Finn: Drago wants
the wind demon chi.
Jade: Isn't he enough
of a blowhard already?
(Burps, wind rushing)
Finn: That is rank!
Aaaah!
Finn and chow: Unhh!
Jade: Hmm, it's not so bad
being green.
Ratso: Yeah?
Unhh!
Jade: Yes! (Gasps)
Uncle Jackie!
Drago: Today's lesson--
never stand downwind
from a wind demon.
Jade: (Grunts)
Get your claws off me!
Jackie: Hyah!
Jade: Hey, I'm me!
Jackie: But if you're
back to normal,
that means
Drago: You're all toast!
(Tohru and uncle
chanting spell)
Drago: No!
Uncle and tohru: Whoa!
Jackie: Uncle!
Drago still has
his fire demon chi!
Uncle: Removal spell
was for wind demon chi
not fire demon chi.
Pay attention!
Finn: Uh,
little help here, boss.
Drago: Weak and worthless.
You're fired!
All: Aaaaah!
Ratso: Uh, anybody
going by the petting zoo?
Drago: This isn't over.
Jade: Oh, yeah?
Then why are you
running away?
Uncle: Because drago knows
6 other demons
were defeated by
immortal warriors
in ancient times.
Tohru: Which means
6 more immortal relics
will have traces of
demon chi on them
Jackie: And drago
will be seeking them all.
Jade: So we'll just
have to find them first.
Uncle: Or entire world
will be under drago's claw.
Jade: Hey, Jackie, in your own
words, what is chi?
Jackie chan:
Everything is about chi.
It's about(Exhales)
You're doing this kind of--
(whooping)
Jackie: And that
is ursa major,
more commonly referred to
as "the big dipper."
Jade: Incoming!
(Jade burps)
Jackie: Ohh, Jade!
(Tohru giggles)
Jackie: Please, tohru,
do not encourage her.
(Jade burps)
(Tohru stifles giggles)
Uncle: Ai yah!
Jade's belly breezes
not important.
Alignment of stars
reveal that now
is very good time
for very bad chi.
(Explosion)
Drago: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
No prison can hold
the son of shendu.
Captain black:
Give it up, drago.
You're not going anywhere
And neither is
your dragon daddy.
Drago: Now who said
anything about busting out
that old gecko?
I'm going solo.
Men: Aaah! Get away!
(Jackie gasps)
Jackie:
Drago has black
pinned down.
I need to create
a diversion.
Jade: Yo, hothead!
Remember me?
There are no "get out
of jail free" cards
as long as j-girl's
still got game.
Black: Drago!
Jade: Told ya.
Jackie: Jade!
Drago: Hello, payback.
Jackie: Jade!
Jackie: Jade!
Jade: You Tarzan,
me Jade.
(Agents screaming)
(Drago growls)
Drago: Mess with a dragon,
you're gonna get burned!
Jackie: If drago does not
want to help shendu,
then what does he want?
Jade: Hello! Freedom!
Tohru: Perhaps
the answer lies
in the alignment of
the "bad chi" stars.
Uncle: Stars, yes,
but also
in uncle's bookshelf.
Come, tohru,
we must do research!
Black: I have agents
combing the bay area.
Drago won't get far.
Jade: That overgrown handbag
doesn't stand a chance!
So, cb,
what's my assignment?
Jackie:
The only assignments
you will be getting today
are at school.
Jade: Ohhh!
(Kids burping)
(Jade burps loud and long)
Kids: All right!
Ms. hardman: Ahem.
Jade: Heh heh.
Pardon me?
Black:
Looks like t-Rex Jr.'s
catching a catnap.
Jackie: I believe
he is in a trance.
(Cell phone rings)
(Drago growls)
Black: Jackie.
(Ring)
Jackie: Hold, please.
Aaah!
(Phone rings)
Jackie: Hello?
Yes, Ms. hardman,
this is Jade's uncle.
Chow: Ready?
Finn: Let's do it.
Finn: Closing time.
Everybody out.
(Children groaning)
Man: don't forget
to wash your hands.
Woman: Let's go, honey.
It's time to go home.
Second man:
don't give me that.
Finn: Eww!
I hate my job.
Ratso: Wanna switch?
Chow: Come on!
Show's over. Amscray!
Get outta here!
Drago: I am drago,
the son of shendu!
Serve me well now
and be at my side
when I rule the world.
Chow: Uh, sorry, kid,
but your old man
kinda burned us.
Ratso: Yeah. And I got
the scars to prove it.
Drago:
You're turning me down?
Finn: Look, all that
world domination stuff
just don't pay the rent.
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Whaaah!
Drago: Who's next?
Chow: Hey,
money isn't everything.
Drago: Agreed.
Now it's time
for your makeovers.
Chow: Makeovers?
Ratso: But I have
sensitive skin.
All: Yeoww! Aaaah!
Finn: Smokin'!
(Puffs)
Chow: Sweet.
Ratso: Hey, I can make
grilled cheese sandwiches
whenever I want!
Finn: So, what should we
steal first?
Chow: Cash?
Ratso: Jewels?
Drago: A fan.
Ratso: Oh, boy.
Jade: But what about
freedom of expression?
This is America, you know.
Jackie: Jade,
this has nothing to do
with free speech
and everything to do
with self-control.
Promise me,
no more burping.
Jade: Fine.
I'll just explode
from all the built-up gas
before I'm 16.
(Truck brakes screech)
Black:
Drago's been spotted.
Jackie: Jade, stay here.
Jade: Seriously
Jackie: Aaah!
Jade: don't you ever
get tired of saying that?
Drago: The fan's here
somewhere.
I can feel it.
Clear the place out.
Finn: Thought
you'd never ask.
(People screaming)
Finn: Stee-rike!
I see a bus pass
in your future.
Unhh!
Black: And I see
prison stripes in yours.
Jade: No way!
The enforcers are now
drago's fire flunkies?
Chow: Jackie chan!
Long time, no rumble.
Jackie:
I will draw their fire.
You run back
to captain black's truck.
Jade: But Jackie--
Jackie:
And no arguments.
(Jade groans)
Chow: Come out, come out
wherever you are.
Jackie: Hyah!
Chow: Aaah!
Ratso: Yeowww!
Black: Claws up, drago.
Drago: With pleasure.
Black: Aaah! Uhh!
Jackie: Unhh!
Jade: Hello!
Uncle Jackie?
Drago: Say good-bye, Jade.
(Jade gasps)
Jade: Whoa!
Black: I'll grab Jade.
You find drago.
(Air vent whooshes)
Drago: The fan
of the immortals.
(Doorbell rings)
Drago: Unhh!
(Drago exhales)
Drago: Looks like
we'll have to do this
the old-fashioned way.
Black: You boys
need to cool off.
Chow: Aaah!
Ratso: Whoa!
Finn: Get ready to fry,
small fry.
Finn: (Groans) Whoaaah!
Oof!
Jade:
May I also interest you
in new car scent?
Jade: Hyaaah!
Drago: Unhh!
Black: You two all right?
(Rumbling)
(Drago grunts)
Drago: (Groans)
Get the fan!
Chow: ah ha ha-ha!
Jackie: All of this
for a fan?
Uncle: Not a fan.
The fan of
the immortals.
Dragon teeny-bopper
wants to absorb
its powerful
wind demon chi.
Jackie: But uncle,
we already defeated
the other 7 demons.
Ow! Ow!
Uncle: Clean wax
out of ears.
Uncle said "demon chi,"
not demons themselves.
Tohru, explain research.
Tohru: Thousands
of years ago
An immortal warrior used
a magical fan
to defeat xiao fung,
the wind demon.
But traces of
the wind demon's power
are rumored to have
clung to the fan
throughout the centuries,
until--
Jackie: They were again
activated
by the alignment
of the "bad chi" stars
uncle discovered
last night.
Jade: So drago busted out
of section 13
in order to double up
on demon powers,
fire and wind.
Uncle: By stealing
fan of the immortals.
Why did you let demon
take immortal fan?!
Jackie: OhhBad day,
bad day, bad day.
Finn: This dump
is home sweet home?
Drago: This is useless!
The wind demon chi
has already been
drained from it.
Chow: And that's
a bad thing, right?
All: Yeeowww!
Finn: Uh, we're gonna
let you have
a little alone time now.
Jade: Come on!
Let's get outta here
and stomp those fire thugs!
Uncle: Do not rush uncle!
Demon chi removal spell
very tricky.
Jade, make yourself useful.
Get ancient Tome
à of warts and toads
from bookcase.
(Stomach grumbles)
(Burps)
Jade: Aaaaaah!
(Crash)
Jackie: Jade?
(Jade whistling)
Ms. hardman: And early
sailing ships
were also affected
by the doldrums.
(Children giggle)
Ms. hardman: The doldrums
are an area of low pressure
with almost no wind at all.
(Children laughing)
(Jade burps loudly)
Ms. hardman:
That's it, young lady!
I am sending you
straight to the
Nurse's office.
Uncle: Uncle almost finished
with wind demon chi
removal spell.
One more thing--
why has drago not yet used
wind demon powers?
(Cell phone rings)
Jackie: Hello?
Yes, this is Jade's uncle.
Oh.
I will be right there.
The school says Jade
is not feeling well.
I wonder if it has
anything to do
with all those sodas
she drinks?
Chow: This guy's worse
than his old man.
Ratso: But he looks
so peaceful.
Finn: Yeah. So do cobras,
right before they strike.
Drago: Raaah!
We're going to school.
(School bell rings)
(Children
laugh and shout)
Jade: So I'm a little
gassy today.
Blame the cafeteria
burritos.
Aaah!
Jade:
What's wrong with me?!
(Door creaks open)
Drago:
You're short, green,
and a real pain
in the butt.
So stick out your chi
and say "aaah."
Jade: I'm warning you
I don't feel so--
(stomach rumbles)
(Through rushing wind)
Good!
All: Aaah! Unhh!
(Shudders)
Jackie: Jade?
Jade: Uncle Jackie!
(Jackie gasps)
Jackie:What's happened to you?
Jade:What happened to me?
Jackie: Jade, tell me
you've been fooling around
with uncle's spells.
Jade: No, I swear!
I just looked up
and bam! Toad girl!
Jackie: It's all right.
Uncle will know what to do.
Jade: But what if I'm
a gross-out forever?
Just sitting around,
eating flies,
waiting to croak.
Jackie: Time to leave
before your demon prince
arrives.
Drago: I'm gonna need
to see your hall pass.
Jackie: Pardon us,
coming through! Got to run!
(Drago groans)
Drago: Do something!
Jackie: Aah!
Hop on!
Sorry.
Aah! Aah aah!
Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
Hot! Hot!
Drago: Cut off their exit!
(Jackie sighs in relief)
Jade: How did this
happen to me?
Jackie:
You must have absorbed
the wind demon chi
from the immortal fan
at the car wash.
Jade: Me?
The wind demon chi?
So, why am I running?
Jackie: Jade, the longer
the demon chi
remains inside you,
the harder it will be
for uncle to remove.
Uncle: Hello,
uncles antiques.
Jackie: Uncle,
drago and the enforcers
are at Jade's school
and--yaah!
Uncle: Jackie? Jackie?!
Drago: Sorry,
your minutes have expired.
And now, so will you.
Jade: Fire!
(Strong burp)
Drago: Aaah!
Jade: Excuse meNot!
(Jackie coughs)
Jackie: Uh, I could use
a little fresh air.
Jade: Heh heh. Follow me.
(Flames sizzling)
Finn: Keep chan busy.
Jackie: Jade, run!
Uh, hop--whatever!
Finn: Drago wants
the wind demon chi.
Jade: Isn't he enough
of a blowhard already?
(Burps, wind rushing)
Finn: That is rank!
Aaaah!
Finn and chow: Unhh!
Jade: Hmm, it's not so bad
being green.
Ratso: Yeah?
Unhh!
Jade: Yes! (Gasps)
Uncle Jackie!
Drago: Today's lesson--
never stand downwind
from a wind demon.
Jade: (Grunts)
Get your claws off me!
Jackie: Hyah!
Jade: Hey, I'm me!
Jackie: But if you're
back to normal,
that means
Drago: You're all toast!
(Tohru and uncle
chanting spell)
Drago: No!
Uncle and tohru: Whoa!
Jackie: Uncle!
Drago still has
his fire demon chi!
Uncle: Removal spell
was for wind demon chi
not fire demon chi.
Pay attention!
Finn: Uh,
little help here, boss.
Drago: Weak and worthless.
You're fired!
All: Aaaaah!
Ratso: Uh, anybody
going by the petting zoo?
Drago: This isn't over.
Jade: Oh, yeah?
Then why are you
running away?
Uncle: Because drago knows
6 other demons
were defeated by
immortal warriors
in ancient times.
Tohru: Which means
6 more immortal relics
will have traces of
demon chi on them
Jackie: And drago
will be seeking them all.
Jade: So we'll just
have to find them first.
Uncle: Or entire world
will be under drago's claw.
Jade: Hey, Jackie, in your own
words, what is chi?
Jackie chan:
Everything is about chi.
It's about(Exhales)
You're doing this kind of--
(whooping)