Only Murders in the Building (2021) s05e01 Episode Script

1
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
- Welcome to the end of your movie.
- [OLIVER YELLING]
[GUN FIRING]
[MABEL MORA] No fucking way.
But I would much rather have taken
Marshall out up close, you know?
I truly don't know how you
make words like that arousing.
I got married in this
courtyard, you know?
- Middle of the night with just the stars.
- Yeah, uh-huh.
- And the fountain as our witness.
- Uh-huh.
- I think it's good luck.
- Yeah, have a good day.
Eh, having a wedding.
We'll have a good day.
[REPORTER] Nicky Caccimelio,
the dry cleaning king of Brooklyn,
has been reported missing.
The officials say they do not suspect
foul play at this time.
- [ELEVATOR DINGS]
- Mr. Savage, Miss Mora.
I wanna hire you to find my husband,
Nicky Caccimelio.
We only investigate
murders in the building.
Sofia Caccimelio.
Call if you change your mind.
Oh, my God.
[OLIVER GASPS]
Lester? Lester!
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
[OLIVER PUTNAM]
Lester Herbert Coluca was born
in Flatbush, Brooklyn in 1948.
He went on to serve 32 years as doorman
for the iconic Arconia building
on the Upper West Side.
Lester is survived
by his wife, Lorraine,
and two children, Frank and May.
In lieu of flowers,
please send donations
to the National Audubon
Birdwatching Society
or the Hollywood Improv East.
That's it? Four lines?
This is a crime against obits.
Where's the color? The texture?
The the charming anecdote
that makes everyone say,
"That's our guy."
They should have come to me.
Come to you?
Not like his wife or kids, maybe?
Yes, to me, the man that, that, that
Lester used to whisper to on the daily.
[MIMICKING LESTER]
"Hey there, favorite tenant o' mine."
You're more upset about that obit
than when the police
declared Lester's death an accident.
No, don't even get
me started on that one.
I'm upset about it all.
I loved that man.
The only thing I ever saw
was you accusing him
of pilching pepperonis
from your pizza delivery.
Well, he was a pepperoni pilcher.
But that's what besties do,
they rib each other.
You wouldn't get it.
Ugh, I can't believe you're eating
four-day-old wedding shrimp.
Well, you can eat it
for five days if it's been on ice.
Six if you've recently had salmonella.
Mm! I can't believe the caterers
forgot to serve this.
You just don't seem like a shrimp guy.
Ah, shrimp is but the vessel
for the heavenly cocktail sauce.
[SLURPING]
- Plus, I hate waste.
- [DOOR OPENS]
[HOWARD MORRIS] [GROANING]
I'm so depressed.
[SNIFFING] Why does it smell like I'm
down at the piers cruising the docks?
Howard, I am not a fan
of this just-walking-in trend.
I don't care to live inside an episode
of Laverne and Shirley.
Howard, what's wrong?
Ah, thank you for asking, Mabel.
Sevelyn and Gravey are so in love,
it's like I don't exist.
Jonathan is still on tour
with Thoroughly Modern Millie.
Hopefully not getting thoroughly
Millied by some chorus boy.
I don't know what that means.
So, I'm left alone with this pet couple
who expect me to wait on them
hand and paw.
Hold on. How much
shrimp do you have left?
- There's a second case in the fridge.
- I can buy their love.
- Well, I suppose we should get going?
- [REFRIGERATOR OPENING]
Such an unusual request Lester made,
to lie "in state" in our lobby.
I was just down there doing a lap,
trying to get a sense of the buzz.
Biggest headline
is the security camera footage.
Let me guess. So, Lester's death
wasn't a tragic accident after all.
Well, I mean, it is the Arconia.
When we found him,
nothing about that looked accidental.
Whoa there, Sherlock Nursing Holmes.
[LAUGHING] Good one, Howard.
The footage sadly confirms Lester's
death was tragically accidental.
The buzz is about whether or not
the new doorman is hot.
I've tallied 15 smashes, two passes,
and one abstain from No Fun Uma.
Anyway, I'll see you downstairs.
After I feed the lovers.
So, it was a tragic accident?
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- I don't know.
Still seems
well, a little fishy.
It's probably for the best.
No murder means no podcast.
No podcast means I get to enjoy
being a newlywed.
You get to be a 30-something
in the city, and you get to
[STAMMERING]
I don't know what you do.
What? Oh, I got stuff.
I don't really know what to say to that.
- Oliver.
- [OLIVER] No, no, Mabel.
Truthfully, I've seen his stuff,
and it's nothing to gloat about.
- Oliver.
- Oh, have I crossed a line, Charles?
- Oliver!
- [CHARLES GASP-WHEEZING]
- What?!
- Why does the shrimp you're holding
have a fingernail?
[OLIVER SCREAMING]
[PIANO KEY TINKLING]
[LIVELY THEME SONG PLAYING]
[THEME SONG CONCLUDES]
[MYSTERIOUS PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
It is a finger, right?
I don't think it's a toe.
Is it a male finger? Female?
I can't even tell what race it is.
I think its main attribute is dead.
Looks like there's some sort of
green fungus on the nail?
[CHARLES AND OLIVER] Don't pick it up!
- She picked it up.
- I knew she would!
- [OLIVER SIGHS]
- Okay, Oliver, did anyone at your wedding
mention an accident in the kitchen?
Yes, Mabel, but I kept it to myself.
Do better!
Please, nobody accidentally
slices off their finger
and then accidentally puts it
into a vintage shrimp goblet.
He's right.
We gotta quit saying "accident."
This is a message.
Ugh. So creepy.
It's like the horse
head in The Godfather.
Very mobby.
Hey.
Sofia Caccimelio.
Who is that? What's that?
On your wedding night,
the night Lester died,
- this mysterious woman
- A real, uh, femme fatale.
asked us to help her find her missing
mobster husband, Nicky.
A mob wife?! And what did you say?
That we weren't a detective agency.
You turned down a mob wife?!
Oh, my God.
- [PHONE PINGING]
- Show me a photo of Sofia Caccimelio.
[PHONE PINGING]
Oh, look at them. A classic mob couple.
No honest man wears a flower that big.
[IMITATING VITO CORLEONE] They
came to you on the night of my wedding,
and you turn them down without
considering the consequences.
The Godfather. I know that one.
Fantastic. The education is taking.
- That's a good Brando.
- That was a good Brando.
- Thank you.
- But you need to jut your chin out
a little, scratch your face
with the back of your knuckles.
[IMITATING] Hey, bunkie, you gotta get
your voice a little bit deeper.
- Get it, my voice a little low.
- I came to you
[IMITATING BADLY] Yeah, I made him
an offer he couldn't, uh, decline.
Okay, you know what?
I'm so sorry that I started this.
Can we please get back
to the fishy finger?
Whose could it be?
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
Did anyone check to see if Lester
had all his fingers in the fountain?
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
Alright. We just need
a quick peek at his digits.
- Get in, get out.
- Shouldn't be too hard.
I mean, I loved the man,
but I I can't imagine
we'll be fighting off crowds.
[CROWD MURMURING]
[MABEL] Is this how we find out
that Lester was a Kennedy?
I don't know an eighth this many people.
What's Mayor Tillman doing here?
- Oh, my goodness.
- [SOFTLY] Hi.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[MAYOR TILLMAN CLEARS THROAT]
[SOFTLY] Excuse me Mm-hmm.
Uh, if I could have everybody's
attention for just a moment.
Thank you.
- [CAMERA FLASH POPPING]
- Friends, family,
and and, of course,
dear Lorraine, I am here today
because I love Lester
who I did not know.
But I do love a great doorman.
- [CAMERA FLASH POPPING]
- And even better, a collection of doormen.
That's a key voting bloc.
Union strong. [CHUCKLES]
This building has seen
too much pain recently,
and I just wanted to stop by and say
I stand with you all
in respecting the
old guard, like Lester.
Protecting while also
bringing new life back
- to a new New York.
- [CAMERA FLASH POPPING]
We love you, buddy.
Rest in strength, Mister
Coluca. Blessed be.
Also, also, uh, let us not forget
that the election
is right around the corner,
so please, um, uh, get out to the polls.
[CHUCKLES] Thank you very much.
- [CAMERA FLASH POPPING]
- Thank you.
[LIGHT APPLAUSE]
Wow, that guy has rizz.
- Oliver!
- What? You taught me "rizz."
- No. You didn't do the assignment?
- How could you?
Assignment?
I didn't know there was an assignment.
They asked us to send a photo
of ourselves with Lester.
There was a whole email.
Oh, I unsubscribed to all Arconia emails
after Howard kept spamming us
with his Dua Lipa fan fic.
Aw, Lester.
We're gonna miss you, buddy.
We really will.
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[WHISPERING] Wait.
He's not doing the dead man's arm cross.
How can I count his fingers if he's not
doing the dead man's arm cross?
Maybe because his finger
was chopped off by the mob?
- [MABEL SHUSHING]
- Alright, um, change of plan.
Uh, you you go, uh,
talk to Lester's wife,
and [STAMMERS]
express your condolences.
- Lillian loves me.
- It's Lorraine.
Lorraine loves me, too.
And and then, you
just, uh, gently ask
if Lester had all his fingers
when he died.
Oh, we gently ask that?
Because shouting it
would be inappropriate?
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna work my way in there.
Best distance ourselves from him.
Lester's building ledger?
[SCOFFS] Mrs. Coluca, please, I
- [SIGHS]
- He'd want you to have it.
And besides, I think you might find
some very interesting tidbits in here.
My husband was nothing if not thorough.
Hi. Excuse me.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Well, we just wanted to say
how sorry we are.
[WHISPERING] Mabel Mora,
formerly 12E, now the West Tower.
Oh, Mabel, thank you.
The tenants were like family to him.
Yeah, well, and since we're all family,
we were hoping you could tell us,
uh, when you saw him the last time,
did you happen to notice
if he was fully complete?
Fully complete?
[WHIMPERING]
[MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[WHIMPERING LOUDER]
[GROANING]
[MAYOR TILLMAN] Okay, so let's, uh,
get one where I look solemn.
Oh! Charles-Haden Savage?
Well, the mayor's a fan of Brazzos.
Uh, Bra-who?
No, no, I'm a huge fan of the pod.
- [LAUGHING]
- Right.
[GASPS] You know what would be good?
An endorsement.
Between the three of you,
you cover every demo.
I mean, you're gay, right?
Mm. Yeah, a little.
- Oh, well, got it. Close enough.
- Yeah.
So, could I be on the show?
Oh, well, uh, sorry,
but we're apolitical.
- Ah, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Damn.
- Yeah.
Well, uh, if you change your minds,
here's my card.
Romy.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, yeah.
[CHARLES SIGHS]
[FAKE SOBBING] Oh, my God, Lester.
Oh What the hey?
[FAKE SOBBING]
[MUTTERING] Lester.
- [STRAINING]
- [CASKET CREAKING]
Oh, what a lovely tribute, Rainey.
I just wish I'd gotten the chance
to clean his hat first.
You know, it was stained with blood
from that fountain,
and he took such
pride in his appearance,
and I just he wouldn't
have wanted that.
It's true, it's true.
In all the years I knew him,
I don't think I ever saw
a wrinkle on his sleeve.
Yes. I'm sorry, what's your name?
- Uh
- Oliver Putnam, 10D.
Oh, you're 10D?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I I I'm 10C.
- Oh!
- Yeah.
Sorry, you are 10D.
I I just delivered you Dude Wipes
and a Playbill mag
with a spotlight on Victor Garber.
- [HOWARD] Mm!
- [OLIVER] Excuse me, who are you?
Oliver, this is Randall, Lester's
trainee, and the new doorman.
Also, played upright
bass at your wedding.
- Oh.
- Putnam.
You're the cuckoo chick!
Excuse me, I'm the cuckoo what?
Cuckoo chick!
[OLIVER SNORTS]
Lester likened all the tenants to birds,
his favorite hobby.
And you were the cuckoo chick!
The neediest bird of all, the taker.
The taker?
I was your husband's favorite tenant.
I am no taker.
Well, clearly, the one thing
you never took
- was a picture with Lester.
- Oop.
[CHARLES FAKE SOBBING LOUDLY]
[MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[CONTINUES SOBBING]
Jesus Christ.
Hi, everybody. Hi, I'm I'm Mabel.
I used to visit this building
when I was a little
kid to visit my aunt.
- [CHARLES GRUNTING]
- You know, the term "doorman"
always seemed unfair
because Lester did way more than
- just open the door.
- [CHARLES THUDS]
One time, uh, my mom forgot my birthday,
so I checked in with Lester every hour
to see if she had sent something,
but she hadn't.
And then, Lester
showed up with a package
and said he'd found it in the back.
It was a sketching pad, I
He knew I loved to draw.
[MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC CONTINUES]
- [SOFTLY] One, two
- [MABEL] Um, uh, Lester was such a kind
- and thoughtful man.
- Three
- Hmm?
- [MABEL] Um,
- I don't think he'd admit this
- Three, four
but he'd go out of his way
to save a little girl's birthday.
What the fuck are you doing?!
[SCATTERED GASPS]
Oh, my God, is he touching my husband?
He's doing it for Lester. [SNORTING]
- [MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC CONTINUES]
- [PEOPLE MURMURING]
[WATCH THUDS]
We're all going to hell.
So, all that feeling around,
and you couldn't get a finger count?
It was either eight or 11.
He had gloves on.
Eleven? How could it be 11?
You don't wanna know.
Check it out, folks!
10D found proof
of his deep care for the man.
A photo of us from my wedding.
Admittedly, it's not the best photo,
but that's Lester looking joyful
in the deep back,
beside my half-blurred face
and my fully blurred arm.
Uh, yeah, whoa, that that's a beauty.
Okay, fine. Okay,
it's not perfect but
Is that a new swivel?
And I like this wallpaper.
Someone's been busy around here.
- It's getting there.
- She's leveling up.
Right? Then again, I found finger shrimp
and got booed out of a wake.
[MABEL SIGHS]
This
Hold on. You guys, come here.
[INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING]
- Is that Nicky Caccimelio?
- [CHARLES-HADEN SAVAGE] That's him.
The missing mobster
was at your wedding?
The whole town is looking for him.
- [MABEL] And he's talking with Lester.
- [OLIVER] And handing him an envelope.
So, Lester had a run-in
with the missing mobster
the night he accidentally died?
I don't buy that.
What if Nicky killed Lester?
Now, now, now, now, no, no, no.
Le Let's not lead to
Lester was killed in a mob hit?!
That's it, I'm texting Howard.
We need to see that Arconia footage
that proved the cause of Lester's death.
That's good.
But we need to talk
to Nicky's wife, Sofia.
We need to go to Staten Island.
We need to go face-to-face with the mob.
Ah, well, you two have fun with that.
- And let me know how it goes.
- Excuse me?
No, I don't do the mob.
Very little I won't do.
A musical about 9/11? Took that call.
But the mob? Nope. Don't do the mob.
Oliver, we have dealt with
very threatening people before.
Why is this so different?
In '82
I wrote a show called Newark, Newark.
If you could make it there,
it turns out it has no bearing
on whether or not
you can make it anywhere.
Anyway, despite a towering score
and relatable nods to airport traffic
I had trouble finding investors.
So, I borrowed from the mob.
How much?
Four hundred dollars.
[BREATHES DEEPLY] Yeah, I know.
I know what you're thinking.
"It's a miracle he's not ass up
in the East River."
But now, I am a newly wedded man
with a ring finger to protect.
So, Oliver Putnam is staying put here.
Okay. Good.
But you seem awfully concerned
with how people perceive
your relationship with Lester.
What if I told you that going
was the best way
to prove how much you care?
- I have nothing to prove.
- Fine.
Charles and I will start
our newest podcast,
solve Lester's murder,
and we will reap in the glory alone.
And I wish you luck.
- Bye-bye!
- Bye.
Bye.
[LIGHT, PLUCKY MUSIC PLAYING]
The silence is deafening. I'm coming!
[GRUNTING]
[SNORTS]
- Took you long enough. Come on.
- Jesus.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[SEAGULLS CAWING, WIND WHOOSHING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]
[ENGINE RUMBLING]
I still can't believe how casually
you put that rogue human finger
- in that fancy cup.
- Ugh.
It's dishwasher-safe.
- [OLIVER GROANING]
- But thank you for reminding me.
I keep wanting to take a sip from it.
Alright, if we are onto something,
we'll need audio.
So, quick, somebody old
- talk about the mafia.
- [PHONE PINGING]
Oh, uh, well, okay.
You wanna know about the mob, eh?
[WITH BAD ITALIAN ACCENT] New York's
most powerful and dangerous famiglia.
- [OLIVER GROANS]
- Alright, I'm sorry I even asked.
We cannot lean into offensive
Italian stereotypes.
They live in the Godfather house.
See, that's exactly what
I'm talking about.
No, no, Mabel. No, no, it
It's literally the house
from The Godfather.
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
- [CHARLES] Hey, how should we handle this?
- [OLIVER] Delicately.
You already rejected her once.
[MABEL]
Okay, just let me take the lead, then.
[CHARLES] Okay.
[KNOCKING]
- Buongiorno, signore!
- Oh, this is how I die.
- I am Charles and these are my friends
- [SHUSHING]
I know who you are, huh? [SNIFFLING]
Come in. Let's go.
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC CONTINUES]
[METALLIC CLANKING]
If only these walls could scream.
[MABEL] Uh, what a beautiful home.
- [METALLIC GRINDING]
- This must be the original molding.
And the original nonna.
Don't make me grind you up!
Mm, easy for you to say.
- [MOBSTER] Yo, let's go.
- [OLIVER] [SOFTLY] Yeah.
- [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC CONTINUES]
- [CLOCK CHIMING]
Please, please, this way.
- [OLIVER] Thank you.
- Let's go, let's go.
- [MABEL] Right, yeah.
- Please, please, thank you.
Gentlemen, we've got company.
[MABEL] Oh.
[OLIVER] Jesus, how many are there?
It looks like a community theater
audition for Grease.
I'm Johnny. These here are my brothers.
Tony, Mikey, Vinny. [SNIFFLING]
And Braden.
- [NECK CRACKING]
- [LAUGHING] Braden. Right.
- Suits you.
- Nice to meet yous.
You guys are the podcasters, right?
So, you like tellin' stories?
Which is good,
'cause my brothers and I,
we got a story for you.
- Sit down.
- Oh, uh, no, we're actually,
we're fine standing because it was
a long, uh, drive and
- Hey!
- [OLIVER GASPING]
Sit down.
- Yes, alright.
- [PANTING] Sitting.
There we go.
- [MABEL MUTTERING]
- Ah, this is better. [CHUCKLES]
- [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC RESUMES PLAYING]
- The year, 1970.
Anthony "Tony" Plate owns
a restaurant in Little Italy.
- It's a popular spot.
- [MIKEY] Hmm.
Partially because of their
- highly fuckable tortellini.
- [MIKEY EXHALES]
But mostly because
of their faithful clientele,
like Paul Gambino,
head of the Gambino crime family.
- [MIKEY] Hmm.
- You hear that, Oliver?
Me? Yes, why?
Do do I not look like I'm listening?
One night, the Gambinos approached Tony
with a work opportunity,
much like Sofia approached you.
But Tony refused.
Naturally, the Gambinos found this
to be a bit disrespectful.
You see, respect is
everything to the mob.
[SHOUTING] Right, Oliver?!
A-Again, I am listening.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Is it my eyes?
I I worry one has gone lazy.
Few days later, Tony's
place was torched.
They fried him like an off-menu
- Fritto Misto.
- [BRADEN] Mm.
- [BRADEN CLICKING TONGUE]
- [VINNY] Why?
'Cause when the mob
offers you an opportunity
You say
Yes.
Or soon,
- you'll be sayin' nothing at all.
- [GUN CLICKING]
- [GROUP EXCLAIMING]
- Whoa, no! That not necessary!
- Oh, God, dear no. Don't do it.
- [MABEL] Why is there always a gun?
[BROTHERS SINGING] Nah-nah-nah-nah ♪
Nah-nah-nah-nah ♪
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
Nah, nah, nah, nah ♪
[BROTHERS CONTINUES SINGING]
Nahh, nahh ♪
- Nah ♪
- Naaaah ♪
- [SIGHS]
- That's alright.
I mean this as respectfully as possible,
but what the hell is happening?!
It's our theme song.
Your your theme song for killing us?
[BROTHERS LAUGHING]
No, no, no.
No, it's it's for our podcast.
- It's called, "'Ey, I'm Talkin' Here!"
- [GROUP EXCLAIMING]
It's just us talking
about historical mob stories.
Yeah, yeah. Check it out, fresh merch.
It's a Bluetooth speaker! [LAUGHING]
Wait, did did you think
that was a real gun?
Oh, my God. May
Wait, maybe Nonna was wrong.
Maybe we are intimidating enough
- to be real mobsters.
- Oh!
- [BROTHERS EXCLAIMING]
- Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang!
[ICE CHUNKS CLATTERING]
Is that a finger?
[GROUP SCREAMING]
No, no, no. Please, please, please,
please don't hurt us.
We just thought you were here
to do a collab on our podcast
because, well,
you're friends with our mom.
- I I'm sorry. Your mom?
- [DOOR OPENS]
[SOFIA CACCIMELIO]
Boys, the kid at Stop and Shop
said they don't even make
3D Doritos anymore.
- Ma?
- Why is it so fucking dark in here?
[SOFIA GASPING]
I see you've met my sons.
[SCOOTER WHIRRING]
Keep your fingers outta my gravy.
So, you deny my request to find Nicky,
and then show up at my home
and accuse me of sending you a finger?
Fine, so you didn't send us the finger.
Then, can you explain what you meant
when you said
that your missing husband
has everything to do with our building?
'Cause our doorman is dead now,
and Nicky wasn't missing
at all that night.
He was at the Arconia. We have proof.
Oh, yeah. [SNIFFLING]
- Okay, now
- [PHONE CLICKING]
Okay, there.
Look at that.
- [BROTHERS CHATTERING]
- Oh, I should have known. That bastard.
- Who's that? Who's that?
- Who's that?
- Oh, it's Dad.
- [OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
Okay, okay, boys.
- Come on, come on, get outta here!
- [BRADEN] Oh!
- The adults need some space. Let's go.
- [TONY] Hell yeah.
- Guys, she's gonna throw it again.
- Go long.
- [ITEMS SHATTERING]
- [OVERLAPPING SHOUTING]
[TONY] Braden, that's my ball!
So, clearly, you've heard
about my family's ties
to criminal activity.
The truth is, the mob is dead.
Okay, so you say the mob is dead.
Why should we believe you?
Well, for one, if the
mob was still alive,
then why are my adult sons podcasting
about mob activity in the '70s?
Because that was the last time
there was anything to talk about.
I mean, Scorsese is now making movies
about Native Americans,
and Irish people.
I mean, look at this place.
My husband spent our life savings
moving us into the goddamn
Godfather house,
and it doesn't even have the den.
- Really?
- This still doesn't explain
what Nicky was doing with Lester.
We own Clean-Ups,
the dry cleaner in the Arconia.
Clearly, Nicky couldn't be bothered
to tell his family he's alive,
but he can still find the time to
drop off receipts with your front desk.
Receipts? When you came
to us, it seemed so urgent.
Look, Nicky has a history
of "disappearing."
Drugs, gambling, countless women.
But when he went missing,
I was hoping that
maybe you would find him
before the world discovered
that he's just a failed mobster
with a fetish for gardenias.
Is there any chance
that this is your husband's finger?
- Do you have a few more?
- Uh, just the one.
Kinda hard to tell without the full set.
Well, maybe this would help.
[IN BAD ITALIAN ACCENT]
"Hey, honey, pass-a the Prego!"
That is incredibly offensive.
- Mi scusi.
- No, it isn't his.
My husband had very hairy hands.
He once had them permed.
Great, now I'm getting emotional.
You should go.
[SNIFFLING, CLEARING THROAT]
- Oh, um
- S-Sorry.
- Thank you.
- Put that in the cup.
[MABEL] That was awkward.
[OLIVER] Yes, well,
awkward is typically
my experience in Staten Island.
[DOOR OPENS]
[SOFIA] Wait! Uh, Mr. Savage!
[CHARLES CHUCKLES]
- Thank you.
- Mr. Savage
you must think I'm crazy,
wanting to find a man
who clearly doesn't want to come home.
You just don't seem like someone
who'd settle for a womanizer.
You seem like someone who knows
what up.
[SOFIA LAUGHING]
Have you ever seen him stand like that?
I think he calls that
the Savage Swagger.
Charles
My marriage is over,
and my family business
is hanging by a thread.
I'm I'm worried
we might lose the house.
I'll see what I can do.
But if it turns out he killed Lester,
all bets are off.
Deal. [SOFTLY CHUCKLES]
Oh, I that reminds me.
Nicky used to carry these decks
around everywhere he went,
but, uh, the night he went missing,
he left it on my nightstand.
I mean, I I don't know.
Maybe it's something.
I have a facility with cards.
[SOFIA] Oh.
Among other things.
[LIGHT UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
[ELEVATOR DINGING]
- [CHARLES SIGHS]
- [MABEL MUTTERING]
[OLIVER MUMBLING]
- [BUTTONS CLICKING]
- Thank you.
[SCOFFS] I've gotta stop doing that.
I don't live in this tower anymore.
[MUSIC FADES OUT]
[ELEVATOR WHIRRING]
Oh, I gotta call Loretta.
I'm not used to the time change yet.
It's a million o'clock over there.
How's she liking New Zealand?
Oh, she loves it, yeah.
Did you know that the toilets
flush in the other way?
- [CHUCKLES]
- Ah.
It's funny what gets her going.
Yeah.
[CHARLES SIGHING]
- You okay?
- Oh, oh yeah.
No, it's just that, you know,
you're married now,
and it's the start of
a whole new chapter,
and Mabel,
she's got a million new chapters.
I'm just not sure what's next for me.
Mini existential crisis?
Oh, no, no, no.
But, you know, when you have
a Reuben at Katz's Deli,
and you don't get the heartburn,
but you know it's coming?
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
This is what I want to say to you.
Do you know what solves everything?
Pepcid, chased with two Tums.
I'll see you in the morning.
- [PHONE RINGING]
- Ooh.
Mrs. Durkin-Putnam,
as I live and breathe.
Yes, no, you did.
Uh, you did tell me about the toilet.
[ELEVATOR WHIRRING]
[SIGHS]
[METALLIC SNAP]
[SNAPPING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
Is that a map?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES]
[MABEL] Howard?
This doesn't prove anything.
Where's the footage from the courtyard?
[COMPUTER MOUSE CLICKING]
What is he doing?
What the hell?
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
Hmm.
You know I cared about you, pal.
But it wouldn't hurt
if the building knew, too.
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[BUTTON CLICKS]
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC CONTINUES]
[PANTING]
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
Oh, God. Are you having an episode?
My grandma gets these all the time.
There's a map on the back
of one of Nicky's cards!
You can only see it
if you look through red.
It's an old spy trick, look.
My God. Whoa.
- Come on.
- Wait, wh
This is crazy.
Wait, it's leading us through
all the blind spots
from the security footage.
I've been mapping them out.
Okay, where to next?
Um I drank the map.
[SCOFFS]
Wait.
I have an idea.
How 'bout now?
- Let's go.
- Yes!
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
Wait a second.
I know this closet.
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC CONTINUES]
Hey! Look.
[GRUNTING]
But, this is new.
[OLIVER MUTTERING QUIETLY]
[PEOPLE SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
Closed?
Ah, come on. Hello?
This is a hat emergency!
[DISTANT SIREN WAILING]
[DOOR BELLS JINGLING]
Hello?
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]
- [HANDLE JIGGLING]
- It's locked.
- [DEVICE BEEPING]
- [MABEL GASPING]
Hello? Anyone here?
I'm I'm just dropping off a chapeau.
Ah, his uniform.
I'm gonna rescue you.
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[MABEL GASPING]
[CHARLES] Whoa, mama.
[MABEL GASPS]
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES]
[CHARLES] This table's been through it.
What do you think happened here?
[OLIVER] When a person passes,
we strive to remember them
exactly as they were.
Yet, when we think of our own legacy,
there's a quiet hope
to be remembered for our best,
not our mistakes, or our flops,
or worse
Oh.
- the secrets we tried to bury.
- [CONVEYOR BUZZING]
Ooh!
What do we have here?
This card has numbers on the bottom.
Six, 24, zero, zero.
Is that a phone number? Address? What?
Numbers.
Oh, that's just a roulette wheel,
that's got noth
Wait, what?
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
- Give me the numbers again.
- Six.
[WHEEL RATTLING]
- Twenty-four.
- [WHEEL RATTLING]
- Zero, zero.
- [WHEEL RATTLING]
[LOCK CLICKING]
I need white shirts. Look at that.
Oh, God. Right.
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC CONTINUES]
Charles, that's the envelope
that Nicky gave Lester at the wedding.
[GASPS]
Lester was here the night he died.
This was no tragic accident.
We need to find Nicky Caccimelio.
Ah, gotcha!
[OLIVER] The parts
we most try to hide
well, sometimes they slip out
[YELPS]
into the light.
[OLIVER YELLING, GRUNTING]
[PANTING]
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
[GASPING AND WHIMPERING]
sync & corrections awaqeded
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
Nah, nah, nah, nah ♪
Nah, nah, nah, nah ♪
Nah, nah, nah, nah ♪
Naah ♪
Naaaah ♪
Hey, hey, hey! ♪
Nah, nah, nah, nah ♪
Nah, nah, nah, nah ♪
Naah ♪
Naaaah ♪
[SONG ENDS]
[FANFARE PLAYING]