Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s05e02 Episode Script
It's All in the Game
1
Jackie chan:
Uncle, how does this,
um, device locate
the scattered demon chi?
Uncle chan: Ancient
Chinese compass detects
energy imbalance.
When demon chi is activated,
compass picks up frequency,
leading us directly
to the immortal object.
Tohru: A reversal spell
will then draw
the bad chi out
of the immortal object and
into the containment jar.
Uncle:
Uncle getting to that!
A reversal spell will
then draw bad chi out
of the immortal object and
into the containment jar.
Jade chan: So, it's your
basic demon chi-o-matic.
Shipping and handling
not included.
TV host: On the next
international island
challenge,
2 more families will meet on
the polynesian island of boru
to face off in
a grueling test
of mental
and physical endurance.
Which family is tough enough
to be called the best
and take home a prize package
including 2 all-terrain
vehicles
and a flat-screen TV
with DVD and surround sound?
Jade: No way.
Host: Which family
will avoid elimination
by earning
this amnesty idol?
Jade: Well,
that's a first.
A demon chi with
it's own series.
Uncle: Aiyaa! Bai tza.
Water demon chi
has been activated.
Jade: And that's her
Zucchini?
Tohru: It's a gourd--
the immortal relic
used to defeat her
thousands of years ago.
Jackie: And now it's
on national television.
We must get to that island
before drago.
Jade: Boru, here we come.
I am so gonna kick butt
in that game.
Uh-huh, uh-huh
Jackie: We're not going to
boru to compete, Jade.
You will stay here
with tohru.
Jade: Oh, come on,
uncle Jackie!
I've seen every single
episode of international
à island challenge.
You gotta take me!
Jackie: Jade
Jade: I know, I know.
I always have to play
the home version.
Drago: Ah, henchmen,
waste of time.
Excess baggage
killing my mojo.
Solo is the way to go.
Bai tza.
Ratso! Finn! Chow!
Never mind.
Right. Canned 'em.
Jackie: Keep your eye out
for the gourd
And try to blend in.
Uncle: Uncle doesn't blend.
Jade: Hey, Jackie.
Jackie: (Gasps) Jade!
What are you
doing here?
Jade: Get serious.
Tohru: Uh, sorry, Jackie.
Jackie: Jade, listen to me.
I told you before
we are not here
to play games.
Rickie rothman: Of course
you're not, chung family.
You're here to win!
Johnny chung, right?
Rickie rothman, producer.
Nice to meet ya.
Love to chat more,
but you guys were supposed
to be here 2 hours ago.
We're running very late
so let's get you on the set.
'K?
Jackie: But we're not--
Jade: Worthy
of this great honor.
Rothman: Humble.
Nice touch.
Come on, people.
Let's move it.
Places!
Jackie: You're
making a mistake.
We aren't the players
you want.
Production assistant:
Humble. Nice touch.
Uncle: Aiyaa!
That belongs to uncle.
Production assistant:
No luxury items.
Uncle: Give that back to--
production assistant:
And 321
Host: Welcome to international
à island challenge.
Let's meet our 2 teams.
From Hamburg, Germany,
the dusseldorfs.
And from Peking, China,
it's the chungs.
Uncle: Uncle wants
his demon chi detector
back right now.
Host: But if one
of these families
wants to take home
our fabulous prize package
and the title
international island champ,
they're going to need this--
the all important
amnesty idol.
Win this, and your entire team
lives to see another day.
Lose, and you'll be forced
to vote off a member
of your own family.
So, if you're all ready,
let's get things started
with a little fruit punch.
Tohru: Oh, good.
I am kind of thirsty.
Host: Remember,
to win this game,
each family member must make
it across the balance beam
without falling
into the slime pit.
Chung family, you're up.
Jackie: We need
to secure the relic.
We don't have time
for this.
Jade: They'll hand it to us
when we win.
Now, watch out
for the mangos.
Jackie: Yaa!
Aah!
Whoa. Whoa!
Greta Dusseldorf:
Aim for the big one.
Heinrich Dusseldorf: Ja!
Jade: Come on, tohru.
You're almost there, baby.
You can do it!
Heinrich: Game over,
mountain man.
Jade: Tohru!
(Tohru grunts)
Aah!
Uncle: Ooh.
That's gonna leave a mark.
Host: And the dusseldorfs
win amnesty!
Kids: Whoo hoo!
Host: Chungs,
I'll see you tonight
at the ejection ceremony
where one of
your family members
will be voted off the show.
Tohru: Sorry, sensei.
Jade: Tohru, listen.
You get my back,
I'll get yours.
Tohru: What are you
talking about?
Jade: Power, my friend.
If we stick together,
we can protect ourselves
at the ejection ceremony.
Jackie: Jade.
Jade: What?
We were just talkin'.
Uncle: Jackie! Bad chi
attracts bad chi!
Drago will be
on his way soon.
Jackie: That's why we have
to grab that idol,
find uncle's
demon chi detector
and get off this island
right away!
Jade: Relax.
They're not home.
Jackie: Unh!
Jade, go back
to the tree house.
Jade: Jackie, 3 words:
Flat. Screen. Television.
Jackie: How many times
do I have to tell you?
We must stay focused
on our mission,
not the game.
Jade: Come on. With
my brains and your brawn,
we can kick Dusseldorf butt,
score all those prizes,
and get the gourd.
Jackie: Shh.
Just be quiet,
and give me a signal
if you see anyone coming.
Jade: Great.
I love being the lookout.
(Snake hisses)
Jade: Jackie!
Jackie: Aah!
Jackie: Aah!
Jade: don't move around
so much.
You're just making it angry.
(Jungle brush rustling)
Jade: Hey
Dusseldorf family! Ha.
Small island, huh?
What's the 4-1-1?
Dusseldorf dad:
I don't understand.
Jade: Tell me about it.
(Snake hisses)
Jade: Listen. Uh, I think
you should know that
I just saw
this humongo wild boar
in your supply crates,
and I think it stole
your, uh, schnitzel!
Dad: Schnitzel?!
Jade: Yeah. It just
ran off into the bushes!
Dad: Save the schnitzel!
Jade: Jackie, they're gone.
Jackie:
That's a relief. Unh.
Jade: Whoa. Double trouble.
They're back.
Jackie:
Unh. Maybe we are going
about this the wrong way.
Why don't we just talk to them
and ask for the idol?
I'm sure they are
reasonable people.
Hello, Dusseldorf family.
I need to have
a word with you.
Now I know this is going
to be hard to believe.
But the amnesty idol
you have
contains traces
of ancient water demon chi
that must be contained
to protect the earth
from the forces of darkness.
So if you will please
give me the idol,
my uncle will cast a spell
to remove the chi,
and all will be well.
Heh heh.
Jade: Nice try, champ.
Host: As you know, chungs,
this is
the ejection ceremony
meaning one of you
will be going home tonight.
The process is simple.
The person
with the most votes
must leave the island
immediately.
Let's begin.
Jade: It's nothing personal,
dude.
Uncle: Uncle
has been bamboozled!
Jade, we had a deal!
Uncle: Uncle not ready
to leave!
Production assistant:
Sorry, show policy.
Uncle: What about
personal property?
Production assistant:
We ship it.
You should get it
in about a week.
Ha ha. Or 6.
Uncle: Aieeya!
No helicopter!
Man-made bird
cannot be trusted!
(Gasps)
Production assistant:
There is nothing
to worry about, sir.
It's perfectly safe.
Uncle: No. Uncle
not meant to fly.
Do you see wings on uncle?
Production assistant:
Ok, ok, please calm down, sir.
Tell you what.
There's a supply boat
coming in the morning.
You can spend the night here
and take the boat
back to the mainland.
Does that sound better?
Production assistant:
So I'll come get you
in the morning, ok?
Uncle: Bring bagels.
(Doorknob rattles)
(Uncle snores)
Cruise director: The ship
will be arriving in port
in 10 minutes.
We hope you all enjoy
your polynesian adventure
on boru this afternoon.
But hurry back because
mambo madness begins
at 4:00 sharp.
Drago: Ah.
(Hisses)
Drago: This time,
the chi's all mine.
Host: Ok, everybody.
New day, new opportunity
for amnesty.
So who's
- up for a quick bite?
Because each family member
must eat everything
on their plate.
But if you lose
your breakfast,
your family loses
the competition.
So open wide,
and down the hatch.
Jackie: We must win this event
and get that idol.
Jade: don't talk to me.
Talk to coconut.
Heinrich: Ah! Unh! Unh!
(Vomits)
(Tohru laughs)
(Jade gulps)
Flat screen TV,
here I come.
Jade: Mmph!
(Vomits)
Uncle: Aieeya!
No boat! Uncle gets seasick
at aquarium!
Production assistant:
Nothing to worry about.
Just keep your eyes
on the horizon
and you'll be fine.
Uncle: Uncle needs
his personal property.
Production assistant:
Underneath your seat.
Hit it, frank!
(Frank guns engine)
Host: Because neither team
could keep their
breakfast down,
you'll have to compete
in a tiebreaker round--
the ultimate tropical test
of physical strength
and endurance.
Jade: Bring it on.
(Heinrich laughs)
Host: On your mark
Get set
Go!
Tohru: Boaah!
(Heinrich laughs)
Jackie: Aah!
Unh! Unh! Aah!
Host: Ah.
(Heinrich and
mom Dusseldorf grunt)
Jade: Yes.
Heinrich: Unh!
Dad: Eeeaah! Aah!
Heinrich: Oof!
Jade: Whoo hoo!
Jade: I win! I win!
I win! I win! I--
(drago laughs)
That's where you're wrong,
shortstop.
I win.
(Drago laughs)
Jackie: Aah! Hot sand!
Hot sand! Hot sand!
Jackie: This is not good.
Dad: Who is that?
What is going on here?
Host: Uh, this isn't
in my script.
Drago: Water,
water, everywhere,
and more than
an ocean to drink.
Jackie: We need uncle!
Tohru, take Jade
and find him.
I'll keep drago busy.
Jackie: Nice trick, drago.
But if you ask me,
your act is still all wet.
Drago: Nobody likes
a critic, chan.
Jade: Jackie!
Tohru: Sensei
àis not on the island!
Uncle: You hoo!
Water boy!
Tohru: Sensei!
(Uncle yells the reversal
spell in Chinese)
(Uncle coughs)
(Captain grumbles)
Jackie: Uh, those were
amazing special effects.
Rothman: Special effects?
Jade: Uh, yeah.
I don't know
how you guys do it
week in and week out.
Rothman: Uh, yeah,
yeah, yeah, it was
quite a piece
of television magic,
if I do say so myself.
Host: Well, nobody told me
about the Tsunami.
Rothman: You're the host,
pretty boy.
You're not in the loop
on everything.
Jade: Flat screen TV,
here I come.
Rothman: Chungs,
you're disqualified.
Jade: What?
Rothman: Your rejected
family member
returned to the competition.
Dusseldorfs, you win!
(Dusseldorfs cheer)
Jade: What? Did you wanna
gloat or something?
Heinrich: May I write you?
Jade: I'm in the book.
Jackie: Jade,
do not be upset.
We captured the demon chi.
Jade: Uh, can I watch
cartoons on it?
I don't think so.
Tohru: Sensei,
àwhy did you not
remove drago's
fire power, too?
Uncle: Fire attached like
strong glue to drago's spirit.
It will take much bigger
magic to remove.
Jade: Speaking of scale-face,
where did he go?
Buoy dings,
seagull cries)
Jade: Hey Jackie, what
was your favourite thing about
being a kid?
Jackie: Being a kid.
Sometime, when I look
at a kid,
I really say,
"what are they thinking?"
They are not worried about
pay the bills,
the car bill,
the house mortgage.
Sometimes,
I really want to--
yes. I want to go back. Boom!
Become a small baby.
I don't want
to worry tomorrow
what kind of
stunt I'm gonna do,
what kind
of action sequence.
I have to choreograph
all action sequence.
That sometimes
really makes me worry.
That's what's good
about children, yeah.
Jackie chan:
Uncle, how does this,
um, device locate
the scattered demon chi?
Uncle chan: Ancient
Chinese compass detects
energy imbalance.
When demon chi is activated,
compass picks up frequency,
leading us directly
to the immortal object.
Tohru: A reversal spell
will then draw
the bad chi out
of the immortal object and
into the containment jar.
Uncle:
Uncle getting to that!
A reversal spell will
then draw bad chi out
of the immortal object and
into the containment jar.
Jade chan: So, it's your
basic demon chi-o-matic.
Shipping and handling
not included.
TV host: On the next
international island
challenge,
2 more families will meet on
the polynesian island of boru
to face off in
a grueling test
of mental
and physical endurance.
Which family is tough enough
to be called the best
and take home a prize package
including 2 all-terrain
vehicles
and a flat-screen TV
with DVD and surround sound?
Jade: No way.
Host: Which family
will avoid elimination
by earning
this amnesty idol?
Jade: Well,
that's a first.
A demon chi with
it's own series.
Uncle: Aiyaa! Bai tza.
Water demon chi
has been activated.
Jade: And that's her
Zucchini?
Tohru: It's a gourd--
the immortal relic
used to defeat her
thousands of years ago.
Jackie: And now it's
on national television.
We must get to that island
before drago.
Jade: Boru, here we come.
I am so gonna kick butt
in that game.
Uh-huh, uh-huh
Jackie: We're not going to
boru to compete, Jade.
You will stay here
with tohru.
Jade: Oh, come on,
uncle Jackie!
I've seen every single
episode of international
à island challenge.
You gotta take me!
Jackie: Jade
Jade: I know, I know.
I always have to play
the home version.
Drago: Ah, henchmen,
waste of time.
Excess baggage
killing my mojo.
Solo is the way to go.
Bai tza.
Ratso! Finn! Chow!
Never mind.
Right. Canned 'em.
Jackie: Keep your eye out
for the gourd
And try to blend in.
Uncle: Uncle doesn't blend.
Jade: Hey, Jackie.
Jackie: (Gasps) Jade!
What are you
doing here?
Jade: Get serious.
Tohru: Uh, sorry, Jackie.
Jackie: Jade, listen to me.
I told you before
we are not here
to play games.
Rickie rothman: Of course
you're not, chung family.
You're here to win!
Johnny chung, right?
Rickie rothman, producer.
Nice to meet ya.
Love to chat more,
but you guys were supposed
to be here 2 hours ago.
We're running very late
so let's get you on the set.
'K?
Jackie: But we're not--
Jade: Worthy
of this great honor.
Rothman: Humble.
Nice touch.
Come on, people.
Let's move it.
Places!
Jackie: You're
making a mistake.
We aren't the players
you want.
Production assistant:
Humble. Nice touch.
Uncle: Aiyaa!
That belongs to uncle.
Production assistant:
No luxury items.
Uncle: Give that back to--
production assistant:
And 321
Host: Welcome to international
à island challenge.
Let's meet our 2 teams.
From Hamburg, Germany,
the dusseldorfs.
And from Peking, China,
it's the chungs.
Uncle: Uncle wants
his demon chi detector
back right now.
Host: But if one
of these families
wants to take home
our fabulous prize package
and the title
international island champ,
they're going to need this--
the all important
amnesty idol.
Win this, and your entire team
lives to see another day.
Lose, and you'll be forced
to vote off a member
of your own family.
So, if you're all ready,
let's get things started
with a little fruit punch.
Tohru: Oh, good.
I am kind of thirsty.
Host: Remember,
to win this game,
each family member must make
it across the balance beam
without falling
into the slime pit.
Chung family, you're up.
Jackie: We need
to secure the relic.
We don't have time
for this.
Jade: They'll hand it to us
when we win.
Now, watch out
for the mangos.
Jackie: Yaa!
Aah!
Whoa. Whoa!
Greta Dusseldorf:
Aim for the big one.
Heinrich Dusseldorf: Ja!
Jade: Come on, tohru.
You're almost there, baby.
You can do it!
Heinrich: Game over,
mountain man.
Jade: Tohru!
(Tohru grunts)
Aah!
Uncle: Ooh.
That's gonna leave a mark.
Host: And the dusseldorfs
win amnesty!
Kids: Whoo hoo!
Host: Chungs,
I'll see you tonight
at the ejection ceremony
where one of
your family members
will be voted off the show.
Tohru: Sorry, sensei.
Jade: Tohru, listen.
You get my back,
I'll get yours.
Tohru: What are you
talking about?
Jade: Power, my friend.
If we stick together,
we can protect ourselves
at the ejection ceremony.
Jackie: Jade.
Jade: What?
We were just talkin'.
Uncle: Jackie! Bad chi
attracts bad chi!
Drago will be
on his way soon.
Jackie: That's why we have
to grab that idol,
find uncle's
demon chi detector
and get off this island
right away!
Jade: Relax.
They're not home.
Jackie: Unh!
Jade, go back
to the tree house.
Jade: Jackie, 3 words:
Flat. Screen. Television.
Jackie: How many times
do I have to tell you?
We must stay focused
on our mission,
not the game.
Jade: Come on. With
my brains and your brawn,
we can kick Dusseldorf butt,
score all those prizes,
and get the gourd.
Jackie: Shh.
Just be quiet,
and give me a signal
if you see anyone coming.
Jade: Great.
I love being the lookout.
(Snake hisses)
Jade: Jackie!
Jackie: Aah!
Jackie: Aah!
Jade: don't move around
so much.
You're just making it angry.
(Jungle brush rustling)
Jade: Hey
Dusseldorf family! Ha.
Small island, huh?
What's the 4-1-1?
Dusseldorf dad:
I don't understand.
Jade: Tell me about it.
(Snake hisses)
Jade: Listen. Uh, I think
you should know that
I just saw
this humongo wild boar
in your supply crates,
and I think it stole
your, uh, schnitzel!
Dad: Schnitzel?!
Jade: Yeah. It just
ran off into the bushes!
Dad: Save the schnitzel!
Jade: Jackie, they're gone.
Jackie:
That's a relief. Unh.
Jade: Whoa. Double trouble.
They're back.
Jackie:
Unh. Maybe we are going
about this the wrong way.
Why don't we just talk to them
and ask for the idol?
I'm sure they are
reasonable people.
Hello, Dusseldorf family.
I need to have
a word with you.
Now I know this is going
to be hard to believe.
But the amnesty idol
you have
contains traces
of ancient water demon chi
that must be contained
to protect the earth
from the forces of darkness.
So if you will please
give me the idol,
my uncle will cast a spell
to remove the chi,
and all will be well.
Heh heh.
Jade: Nice try, champ.
Host: As you know, chungs,
this is
the ejection ceremony
meaning one of you
will be going home tonight.
The process is simple.
The person
with the most votes
must leave the island
immediately.
Let's begin.
Jade: It's nothing personal,
dude.
Uncle: Uncle
has been bamboozled!
Jade, we had a deal!
Uncle: Uncle not ready
to leave!
Production assistant:
Sorry, show policy.
Uncle: What about
personal property?
Production assistant:
We ship it.
You should get it
in about a week.
Ha ha. Or 6.
Uncle: Aieeya!
No helicopter!
Man-made bird
cannot be trusted!
(Gasps)
Production assistant:
There is nothing
to worry about, sir.
It's perfectly safe.
Uncle: No. Uncle
not meant to fly.
Do you see wings on uncle?
Production assistant:
Ok, ok, please calm down, sir.
Tell you what.
There's a supply boat
coming in the morning.
You can spend the night here
and take the boat
back to the mainland.
Does that sound better?
Production assistant:
So I'll come get you
in the morning, ok?
Uncle: Bring bagels.
(Doorknob rattles)
(Uncle snores)
Cruise director: The ship
will be arriving in port
in 10 minutes.
We hope you all enjoy
your polynesian adventure
on boru this afternoon.
But hurry back because
mambo madness begins
at 4:00 sharp.
Drago: Ah.
(Hisses)
Drago: This time,
the chi's all mine.
Host: Ok, everybody.
New day, new opportunity
for amnesty.
So who's
- up for a quick bite?
Because each family member
must eat everything
on their plate.
But if you lose
your breakfast,
your family loses
the competition.
So open wide,
and down the hatch.
Jackie: We must win this event
and get that idol.
Jade: don't talk to me.
Talk to coconut.
Heinrich: Ah! Unh! Unh!
(Vomits)
(Tohru laughs)
(Jade gulps)
Flat screen TV,
here I come.
Jade: Mmph!
(Vomits)
Uncle: Aieeya!
No boat! Uncle gets seasick
at aquarium!
Production assistant:
Nothing to worry about.
Just keep your eyes
on the horizon
and you'll be fine.
Uncle: Uncle needs
his personal property.
Production assistant:
Underneath your seat.
Hit it, frank!
(Frank guns engine)
Host: Because neither team
could keep their
breakfast down,
you'll have to compete
in a tiebreaker round--
the ultimate tropical test
of physical strength
and endurance.
Jade: Bring it on.
(Heinrich laughs)
Host: On your mark
Get set
Go!
Tohru: Boaah!
(Heinrich laughs)
Jackie: Aah!
Unh! Unh! Aah!
Host: Ah.
(Heinrich and
mom Dusseldorf grunt)
Jade: Yes.
Heinrich: Unh!
Dad: Eeeaah! Aah!
Heinrich: Oof!
Jade: Whoo hoo!
Jade: I win! I win!
I win! I win! I--
(drago laughs)
That's where you're wrong,
shortstop.
I win.
(Drago laughs)
Jackie: Aah! Hot sand!
Hot sand! Hot sand!
Jackie: This is not good.
Dad: Who is that?
What is going on here?
Host: Uh, this isn't
in my script.
Drago: Water,
water, everywhere,
and more than
an ocean to drink.
Jackie: We need uncle!
Tohru, take Jade
and find him.
I'll keep drago busy.
Jackie: Nice trick, drago.
But if you ask me,
your act is still all wet.
Drago: Nobody likes
a critic, chan.
Jade: Jackie!
Tohru: Sensei
àis not on the island!
Uncle: You hoo!
Water boy!
Tohru: Sensei!
(Uncle yells the reversal
spell in Chinese)
(Uncle coughs)
(Captain grumbles)
Jackie: Uh, those were
amazing special effects.
Rothman: Special effects?
Jade: Uh, yeah.
I don't know
how you guys do it
week in and week out.
Rothman: Uh, yeah,
yeah, yeah, it was
quite a piece
of television magic,
if I do say so myself.
Host: Well, nobody told me
about the Tsunami.
Rothman: You're the host,
pretty boy.
You're not in the loop
on everything.
Jade: Flat screen TV,
here I come.
Rothman: Chungs,
you're disqualified.
Jade: What?
Rothman: Your rejected
family member
returned to the competition.
Dusseldorfs, you win!
(Dusseldorfs cheer)
Jade: What? Did you wanna
gloat or something?
Heinrich: May I write you?
Jade: I'm in the book.
Jackie: Jade,
do not be upset.
We captured the demon chi.
Jade: Uh, can I watch
cartoons on it?
I don't think so.
Tohru: Sensei,
àwhy did you not
remove drago's
fire power, too?
Uncle: Fire attached like
strong glue to drago's spirit.
It will take much bigger
magic to remove.
Jade: Speaking of scale-face,
where did he go?
Buoy dings,
seagull cries)
Jade: Hey Jackie, what
was your favourite thing about
being a kid?
Jackie: Being a kid.
Sometime, when I look
at a kid,
I really say,
"what are they thinking?"
They are not worried about
pay the bills,
the car bill,
the house mortgage.
Sometimes,
I really want to--
yes. I want to go back. Boom!
Become a small baby.
I don't want
to worry tomorrow
what kind of
stunt I'm gonna do,
what kind
of action sequence.
I have to choreograph
all action sequence.
That sometimes
really makes me worry.
That's what's good
about children, yeah.