The Boys (2019) s05e02 Episode Script
Teenage Kix
1
[yelling]
[tense music playing]
This is my son. Your grandson.
[Soldier Boy] You're
a fucking disappointment.
- [groaning]
- Get out of the building! Now!
- Butcher, stop!
- [yelling]
[Soldier Boy] Everything you wanted.
He's right fucking there.
And now you blink?
[aide] Ladies and gentlemen,
- the vice president of the United States.
- [groans]
I know exactly what you're thinking.
Literally.
[Sage] Homelander wants
more Starlighters arrested.
As long as you're useful,
everything will come up Ashley.
- Oh, my God, Sameer.
- Is that Zoe's dad?
[Butcher] You're gonna make us
some more of that virus.
- [yelling]
- [Frenchie] Kimiko!
[Annie] You're still working on the virus,
and you want Frenchie.
Homelander's fuming.
He's gonna execute
Hughie, Frenchie, and M in about 36 hours.
We need your help to break them out.
You're fucking crazy.
Mon coeur.
Frenchie.
[grunting]
What was I so afraid of?
[laughing]
- [growls]
- [bones crunch]
- Faster than the speed of light ♪
- [rhythmic clapping]
Watching as your dreams take flight ♪
I think I should stand and fight ♪
Then disappear into the night ♪
Into the night ♪
♪
- Praise the Lord.
- [audience member] Praise the Lord.
[others] Praise the Lord.
We come together to mourn
- the one and only A-Train.
- [others] Amen.
[Oh Father] He loved his country,
his God,
but, most of all, his captain.
Homelander, amen.
- [others] Amen.
- [audience member] Amen, sir.
[Oh Father] But…
our martyred brother in Christ…
…was struck down…
…by that jezebel.
[booing, murmuring]
That wily emissary of Satan himself,
Starlight.
- [jeering]
- That's right.
Now, you know
that ain't no figure of speech, right?
It ain't no metaphors in this house.
Starlight and her minions
are literally possessed by demons!
They're spewing vomit!
They're eating babies!
They're turning little boys
into little girls with garden shears!
- Lord have mercy!
- [jeering]
But we cast those demons out
of this house.
- Amen!
- We fight
hellfire with holy fire.
- Mm-hmm.
- We fight
- with the ballot box.
- [agreeing]
We fight with the ammo box!
- [agreeing]
- Matthew 10:34!
"I do not come to bring the peace
but a sword!"
You are not here to be blessed!
You are here to do war!
- [cheering]
- Amen!
- Amen!
- Amen!
Amen.
Can you feel the Holy Ghost's power?
I said, can you feel
the Holy Ghost's power?
- [agreeing]
- Then I need you to praise him.
- Praise him!
- Praise him.
Praise him for victory.
- Praise him for America.
- [others] Praise him!
[Oh Father] Praise him
for our superheroes.
Hallelujah!
Stand up!
Stand up in the name of Jesus!
[woman] My sweet boy.
[tense music playing]
- [Oh Father] Amen!
- [others] Amen!
- [Oh Father] Amen!
- Amen!
- [Oh Father] Amen!
- [organ music playing]
[mysterious music playing]
[grunts]
Welcome to the outskirts
of Erie, Pennsylvania,
a charming little burg
best known for its staggering amount
of fentanyl overdoses.
- [door closes]
- Oh, and, uh,
when you come in here…
…keep your mouths shut
or I'll do the fucking lot of you.
- [Chumbawamba sings "Tubthumping"]
- I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
He drinks a whiskey drink,
he drinks a vodka drink ♪
He drinks a lager drink,
he drinks a cider drink ♪
He sings the songs
that remind him of the good times…
- You're still working on the virus.
- [Butcher] Not working.
Sorted.
Thanks to this diamond geezer.
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
- Sameer?
- I get knocked down ♪
♪
I found him not long after that bollocks
with Neuman and poor little Zoe.
Well, you lot remember, don't you?
When that cunt Homelander…
brutally murdered them in cold blood.
Poor sods.
Didn't stand a chance.
Sameer.
Hi, I'm Hughie. I was friends with Vicky.
I…
I'm so sorry for your loss.
[Kimiko] Are you an idiot?
He cut off your leg with a hatchet.
And kept me prisoner. So did you.
You shot me with the virus.
Your leg regrew.
[Butcher] All right, all right, listen.
The only thing that matters
is we buried said hatchet
so we could crack on
with the godly work of revenge.
And, good news, Sameer's done it.
As of last week,
that naughty little bug of his
is finally strong enough
to top Homelander.
Well, so we reckon.
We just need a little…
dry run.
[Hughie] This thing kills just Homelander?
Or every Supe?
Don't know.
But we'll have a laugh
finding out, won't we?
Jesus fucking Christ.
Will it infect humans?
Well, you know, we got to test it.
[Frenchie] We're close to Cleveland.
You wish to test it on Rock Hard, non?
I'm glad you're back, mate.
Rock Hard?
A member of Teenage Kix.
Rock Hard is a living mountain.
Nine hundred pounds of walking granite.
Hasn't been seen since his unspeakable
acts at the Lincoln Memorial, non?
Oh, he skull-fucked Lincoln in the ear,
filled it with so much hot cum
it burst out of his mouth.
[Butcher] Which…
makes Rock Hard the perfect lab rat.
Indestructible or nearly,
almost as strong as Homelander,
and no one gives a fuck about him.
So we nip in,
twat him, bring him back here
for a dose of kill juice.
Lemon fucking squeezy.
So…
let's get cracking.
[Firecracker] We got to stop the hate
crimes against Supes before they start.
With President Calhoun's
Freedom To Be Free Act,
local superheroes
can now apprehend Starlighters
before they commit any more violence.
[door opens, closes]
Here you go.
Where'd you get these from?
Just friends. But…
they don't need 'em anymore.
[Hughie] So,
how are we gonna do it?
- Do what?
- Get the virus away from Butcher.
- We kill him.
- No, we're not gonna kill him.
We're not just gonna go along
with this, right?
I'm sorry, do we all have amnesia?
Have we forgotten how fucked Butcher is?
He murdered Vicky
in front of her daughter.
Now he wants to murder every Supe
on the planet, which includes you.
I say we take the virus and we run.
- Or kill him.
- [Annie] Look,
it's 10,000 Supes to save
eight billion people worldwide.
That's a good price in any war.
[Mother's Milk] Look, kid.
It's a shit decision, all right?
We're not denying that.
But they're out there
wrangling people up as we speak.
- We don't have a motherfucking choice.
- [Kimiko] Yes,
there is a choice,
and, no, it's not yours to make.
You're not the one who's going to die.
Right?
Why do you always give in to them?
[sighs]
Kimiko, please.
Wait!
[door opens, closes]
[clicks tongue]
[grunts]
[door opens]
[door closes]
Hey.
So…
it's been a tough year. [chuckles softly]
No. No.
I mean, I have been at Epcot, mostly.
Huh.
Why do you bring it up?
Just your whole vibe.
Ditching Ivy and I at the camp.
You're siding with Butcher.
Your hair's different.
Okay, not so much about the hair.
It's just, uh…
[sighs]
Annie,
whatever you had to do…
…I get it.
It's okay.
We can…
We can figure this out.
- We can…
- Talk?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Or…
…counterpoint…
…not talk.
I mean…
Yeah, that's a…
that's a pretty compelling point.
[Annie] Mmm.
[both moaning]
[both moaning]
- [door slams]
- [panting]
You stood there.
Mon coeur, listen…
Chewed off. Sliced in two by Homelander.
Shot here, here, here.
It hurt every time. But the virus?
That was the only time I wanted to die!
The pain.
Agony! Fucking agony!
Butcher's going to do that to me.
And you're okay with it!
No.
On my life, I'm not.
But this is happening
with or without us.
So I must learn everything I can
about this pestilence,
so I can protect you.
[gentle music playing]
I spent every day of the last year…
…dreaming about you.
[speaking French]
Of your hair,
[breathing heavily]
your soft skin,
I dream.
You think that I would let anything…
…take you away from me again?
I dreamt about you, too.
[shuddering]
C'est incroyable.
Your voice is even more beautiful
than I dreamed.
[both moaning]
Clothes off. Now.
- [INXS sings "Never Tear Us Apart"]
- [panting]
Mwah.
Your bottom half,
is it fully regrown?
My vagina's tingly and damp.
Don't ask me ♪
what you know is true ♪
Don't have to tell you ♪
I love your precious heart ♪
I ♪
[panting]
I was standing ♪
You were there ♪
And they could never tear us apart ♪
I told you ♪
that we could fly ♪
- But some of us don't know why ♪
- [moaning]
[panting]
I was standing ♪
You were there ♪
[moans]
And they could never ever ♪
tear us apart ♪
♪
[eerie music playing]
[sighs]
God…
damn it, A-Train.
[sighs]
It didn't need to come to this.
I don't know.
You left me no choice.
I know my leadership style can be…
stern.
But…
it was for your own good.
I liked to think of myself as…
the big brother…
…that you never had.
You remember that girlfriend you had?
Uh…
[sniffles]
Pop…
Popfang.
Betrayed us both.
To William Butcher, no less.
Huge mess. Your fault. What did I do?
What did I do?
I gave you a chance to make things right.
I-I reached out my hand.
And you bit it.
What did I ever do
to deserve that?
What, was I too nurturing?
Too forgiving? Well, maybe.
But, damn it,
you weren't like the others.
Snakes,
backstabbers.
I could count on you, man.
I did count on you.
I loved you.
But here we are.
Why does this keep happening to me?
I guess the strongest men
are the most alone.
You wouldn't understand.
Nobody does.
[pensive music playing]
[hissing]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- Ooh ♪
- E-Eyes on me ♪
Pretty when I wake ♪
And I know you want, I know you want,
I know you want more ♪
♪
Firecracker's Flaming Freedom Sticks.
I'm Countess Crow:
Countess of the Crows.
And we're doing
a Voughtality vamp glam tutorial.
[Butcher] Wankers.
Can't even take a shit
without it being sponsored.
You know they get paid, like,
50 grand a post for this shit.
- Fifty grand?
- Mm-hmm.
[Butcher] Dog wankers.
[loud drilling]
[Annie] Guys, we drill any louder
and the Real Housewives of Cunt Street
are gonna hear.
Frenchie, how much longer?
Teenage Kix should head out on patrol
any minute.
- They go out, we go in.
- [Hughie] Rock Hard hasn't posted
in a year.
He might not live here anymore.
Every day, Countess Crow:
Countess of the Crows
brings down
a protein shake to the basement.
I'd bet my bottom anal beads
he's down there.
[dance music playing faintly over phone]
[phone chimes]
[message chime]
Everything okay?
All good.
- [mysterious music playing]
- [vehicle approaching]
[knocking]
Oi. Look lively back there.
All right, nothing fancy, yeah?
Nip in, twat him, bring him back here.
Keep the engine running.
[kissing sounds]
[Annie clears throat]
Oh. You ready?
[creaking]
[unzipping]
[banging]
Internet's down.
Cams, too.
[Annie] Um…
Yeah, we have a problem.
Putain de merde.
He really let himself go.
[tense music playing]
[computer voice] The fuck you
ass splitters
doing in here?
[Annie] My God, asshole must weigh
30,000 pounds.
My dick
weighs more, bitch.
[Butcher] Well, there ain't no way
we can move him.
Even with the three of us.
[Hughie] So what now?
[inhales sharply]
[grunts, gasps]
[grunts]
[panting]
You. What the fuck?
No, no. No, no. It's okay.
- It's okay. I don't want to hurt you.
- [grunts]
You're safe, okay?
You've been in deep freeze again.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
For how long?
Almost two years.
In a CIA black site.
I just found out this morning.
You found out this morning?
Yeah.
But that just happens to be in your room?
Did you fuck me?
What?
- Is this some kind of incest thing?
- No!
- Then what the fuck is this?
- [stammers] Look,
I…
I want you to find William Butcher.
Find him yourself.
Well, the people
that work for me are limited.
And you are the best tracker there is.
I just, I need you to find him
and report back.
Very simple.
You want me…
to work for you?
Well, why don't we say "work with me"?
And… I can help you.
I can give you a proper comeback.
I don't need you for that.
Well, the whole world does think
that you're a Russian spy, so…
[exhales] Okay.
All right.
Listen to me.
I'm no ass-felching commie.
You got that?!
I know, I know. And, listen,
I am Vought now.
Me.
So, the public,
they're gonna believe that you are
whatever I tell them you are.
I can resurrect you.
I can give you back what you lost.
I can even make you
number two in The Seven.
Number two?
Or how about I finish the job…
…and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
Yeah, you could try.
Who knows, you might even fry the V
right out of my blood.
Or you might not.
But I'm betting
that you hate William Butcher
more than you…
than you hate… me.
After all, I'm-I'm not the one
that betrayed you.
Am I?
I tried to kill you.
Minute I turn my back,
how do I know you won't return the favor?
Look, uh…
[tense music playing]
You find William Butcher for me…
…all is forgiven.
Looks like a fucking kindergarten ashtray.
- [soothing music playing]
- Improve your sleep.
Strengthen your immune system.
Nourish your soul.
The ancient Taoists believed
that perineum sunning stopped qi,
life force, from leaving the body
and invited prana,
solar energy, in.
Don't ignore your anal wellness.
Introducing the new Deep Brand
Sigma Solarium by Vought.
By bros,
for bros.
[Hughie] Okay, we need
- to abort.
- [computer voice] Your
mom should have aborted you.
Fuck it.
We'll test it here.
What test?
Monsieur Charcutier, if the virus is
contagious as Sameer says, c'est fini.
- The game is over.
- No, Butcher's right.
Rock Hard has seen us,
so we can't leave.
Virus?
- What virus?
- [Butcher] Look,
I didn't break you lot out of the pen
to flap about.
Now, all we got to do
is seal the ventilation,
every exit point,
tighter than a Boy Scout's arsehole
at a jamboree.
Non, non, non, non, c'est pas possible.
Maybe.
[rocks clattering]
Yo.
- Is that motherfucker holding his breath?
- Uh-huh.
[Frenchie His heart rate
is ten beats per minute.
He can probably hold his breath
for a couple of hours,
like a blue whale.
If he won't breathe,
how do we get the virus in him?
Well, he ain't our first whale, is he?
You lot sort this. I'll fetch the virus.
Kimiko, you're with me.
Oi, you two. Leave it out, would you.
We're fuckin' working here.
Hey.
I'm coming with you.
- What for?
- I don't trust you.
[grunts]
Yeah.
Suit yourself.
[tense music playing]
We've so far identified
the location of 10,000
active Starlight sympathizers.
Coincidentally,
the map is almost identical
to where the most nut milks are consumed.
Where's Noir?
He just disappears every afternoon.
Won't say where he's going.
Won't say shit.
Thinks he's all Method.
[scoffs] Fucking Meisner technique.
- Is that a Jew thing?
- [Sage] We are using
local Supes and law enforcement
to round them up,
but you can invoke the Insurrection Act
if we need to deploy the military,
- Mr. President.
- Good idea.
What qualifies someone
as an active Starlighter?
That's gonna be anyone who posts
pro-Starlight or anti-Homelander content.
Honestly, the VoughtBook algorithm
does most of the work for us.
We have got, what, 52,000 data points
on every user.
We truly live in an age of wonder.
But we are gonna need to triple the
amount of Freedom Camps to hold them all.
Love it.
It's just that, after we've paid
for Vought's military contracts,
all those corporate tax breaks,
and for the existing Freedom Camps,
Treasury's running a little dry.
People get twitchy
at rounding up their neighbors,
but they'll flat-out revolt
if we raise taxes.
[psychic voice] The president is thinking
how insane this is right now.
He'll back you. You can do it, speak up.
And a lot of these sympathizers
are Vought customers.
Won't their arrests
eat into your bottom line?
Nah, we'll just start
selling ads on Vought Plus.
[psychic voice] Wow. Amazing Ashley.
You're a real Che Guevara.
[Calhoun] Well, alrighty then, let me ask
the most important question.
Do I got immunity?
- [doors opening]
- [dramatic music playing]
For fuck's sake.
Soldier Boy,
this is the president, vice president
of the United States of America.
They work for me.
Everyone, Soldier Boy
is gonna be number two
in The Seven, once he has located
William Butcher and Annie January.
What? Wait, wait, what, sir? No, sir. I…
- I can do this. I can bring them in.
- Oh, like you did with A-Train?
We're going in a new direction, Deep.
Competence.
Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's
gonna need a full pardon.
Well, sir, he, uh, he was guilty of…
you know, treason.
- Consider it done, sir.
- Terrific.
And you know what?
I'm sure the man's dying for a drink.
Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
- Manhattan.
- Manhattan.
- Thanks, Steve.
- Of course.
- Can I get you a-a glass of milk, sir?
- No.
[stammers] Stephen.
I'll also have a Manhattan.
Goddamn.
Since when could Supes
tea-bag the president?
Since me.
[energetic music playing]
[beeps]
[sighs] Okay, what's next?
[rumbling]
[suspenseful music playing]
What is it?
- [rumbling intensifies]
- Look out!
- Oh, God.
- Putain.
Bien sur. It's mountain pornography.
- What?
- Almost got you fuckers.
Ha ha.
- Oh.
- Oh. Sh…
Nope.
[Frenchie] At least that explains
how he's grown.
From bashing his bishop.
Gross.
[Mother's Milk sighs]
[slow, dramatic music playing]
Mmm.
Now that's what I'm talking about.
Oh, God.
Fucking unsanitary.
Ugh.
[somber music playing]
[sighs]
[Countess Crow] So, our first step is
gonna be to use the Firecracking primer.
It's an amazing base,
and is used by the most trusted…
[suspenseful music playing]
Next up will be to apply my fave
foundation from my Voughtality collab,
Velvet Ember.
It doesn't fade,
even after a long day of shoving
- Starlighters into police vans.
- [crow caws]
We talked about this.
I don't have a choice.
- They make me do this.
- [crow caws]
Here we go.
Today, I'm gonna be going
for a dark hero look.
So, we're gonna be using Black Noir's
Noir Black Liquid Eyeliner because it is
- the GOAT.
- [crow cawing]
- [screaming]
- You dare enter my dark domain?
I am Countess Crow: Countess of the Crows.
And I shall make you
rue the day that you decided…
Fucking shit!
[intense, dramatic music playing]
[panting]
[crow cawing]
Fuck.
[Frenchie] C'est ça.
It's like each layer of cum
represents the slow passage of time.
It's like a metaphor for life, non?
It's a metaphor for my balls.
[phone buzzes]
Mademoiselle Annie, what is the matter?
A Starlighter cell
in St. Louis was raided, so
they're all gone.
Just like the one in Portland
and Sacramento and Boise and…
I guess we can add A-Train
to that list, right?
You didn't kill them.
They chose to fight.
Yeah, because they thought that
I was going to save them.
I told them that we were
gonna make it out.
Fucking easy for me to say.
I'm bulletproof.
[somber music playing]
Have you told petit Hughie any of this?
No, no, because he'll say
it wasn't my fault, s-so I can't.
So, this is why you do not care
if the virus kills you.
I led them to a shallow grave.
So I just get a fucking white picket fence
and cherry pie? No.
I can't live like that.
If I follow them, it's the only thing
that makes sense.
[sighs]
I am the heavyweight champion
in torturing myself over lives lost.
And, yes, it's easier
to wallow in your guilt.
But tough fucking shit.
You get up every day and you keep going.
Anything else is an insult to the dead.
[Countess Crow] You creep.
Just let go!
Get your chapped, old man hands off of me.
Guess who didn't make it to patrol today?
Oh, shit.
Starlight?
Oh, my God.
You guys are terrorists.
What do we do with her?
Same as Rock Hard.
We don't have a choice.
- Huh?
- All right. Come on.
No. What?
[huffs] Let me go!
[grunts] Baby killer!
[indistinct chatter]
[crying] No.
Pounced on this Starlighter scum
right in our own neighborhood.
All this crime-stopping
makes me so thirsty.
[gasps] Turbo Rush.
The drink of heroes. Only 15 calories.
Cut.
- That was a good take. Huh?
- No, no, please.
This is a mistake.
- I am not a Starlighter.
- Shh.
"Only 15 calories."
- Yeah?
- "Now with acai
- and maca root."
- Oh… Fuck, I forgot about that.
- Mom!
- No, Corey, go back inside, please.
Yo! You stay back
'cause if you ruin my shot,
it's on-sight, bitch.
Okay, let's go again.
And fix your tits, they're lopsided.
- Okay, come on, come on.
- [crying]
All this crime-stopping
makes me so thirsty.
Turbo Rush. Now with acai and maca root.
- That's fucking perfect.
- Okay, great.
- Okay. Have fun in camp.
- [Sheline] Let's go.
- [mom] No. Please. No.
- [Corey] Mom!
- [indistinct chatter]
- [somber music playing]
Mom!
- Pull over.
- Not a chance.
We have to help them.
Help them, and every Supe within 500 miles
will be up our arse within the hour.
We stay the course,
minds on the fucking job.
Fuck the job.
[squelching]
[Hughie] Kimiko.
Don't.
[sniffs]
[sniffs]
[sighs]
[Sage] Homelander?
Shit.
[Sage] Homelander?
Sage.
- Hey.
- I was just, um…
What can I do… for you?
Well, that was quite a surprise today.
Are you sure waking him
was the right call?
- Yes.
- Did you tell Soldier Boy about the virus?
No. I did not. Of course not.
Well, what am I gonna say?
Uh… [stammers]
"Yeah, hey, I really want you to do
this job for me, but careful,
'cause there's a Supe-killing virus
out there, and you may die screaming."
Sure he would've jumped at that. [sighs]
You have a lot to learn about
managing big personalities, young lady.
Well, besides,
if there is a virus out there,
- better he take the risk than us, right?
- Ah…
- That's tactical.
- Exactly.
'Cause for a moment, I was afraid
you'd only woken him
because he was your dad.
[laughs]
So, when he gets infected and he dies…
You don't know that's gonna happen.
When it does, you won't go to pieces.
- 'Cause it was tactical, right?
- Mm… Mm-hmm.
Right?
[suspenseful music playing]
[tense music playing]
Testing a biological weapon
in an uncontrolled environment
is dangerous enough.
Transporting it without
the necessary precautions…
All right, all right.
Less talking, more giving.
I'll take it.
So, how fragile is this?
Very, very fragile.
If it broke on the way?
It could kill every superhero on Earth.
There's also a non-zero percent chance
it could wipe out every human on Earth.
Ah.
Well…
Best not drop it, ay?
Thank you so much.
[exciting music playing]
[neck cracks]
[both grunting]
[whirring]
[Frenchie] Breathe, putain.
- [hammering stops]
- [Annie sighs]
[hammering continues]
You get him to breathe yet?
What?
- Did you get him to breathe yet?
- Enculé.
Non. Le Connard is impervious.
The rest of the Kix will be back soon.
Merde alors.
We're doing everything we can, huh.
[hammering stops]
You know, you were wrong earlier.
- We're not terrorists.
- [Countess Crow] On God,
when everyone comes back,
Jetstreak's gonna shoot an RPG up your ass
and Sheline is gonna take a shit
in the gaping hole that's left.
Look, you being here
was not part of the plan, all right?
It's just a shitty situation.
Yeah, the shittiness ratio
is absolutely equal here.
We don't want to be here
any longer than we have to be.
All we need
is to get Rock Hard to breathe.
Does your face full of pubes mean
your friends fuck your pussy mouth?
I got a teenage daughter.
That shit right there
bounces right off me.
Hey, didn't you use to have,
like, ten crows at one time?
What's it called, a murder?
Oh, let me guess.
Sheline ate your crows.
[laughs] Damn. Countess,
they don't give a fuck about you
or the two crows you have left.
Their names are Russell and Cameron.
Point is, Vought doesn't care
about y'all neither.
They're training you for, what,
60% of your earnings?
It's ridiculous.
Oh.
- Motherfucker, don't go through my shit.
- Prozac,
Wellbutrin,
Lexapro.
- Great, great.
- Kid, what are you, 19 years old?
Why are you grinding yourself
to the nubs for these people?
All they're gonna do is squeeze you
for every cent you got,
and then sell you out in a heartbeat.
Why are you risking your life for them?
Please. Please don't kill me.
I just want to go home.
I miss my mom and my dad.
Please.
[sighs]
[Butcher whistling]
Careful.
[continues whistling]
[sighs]
[Butcher] Oi. Fucking smile, Hughie.
Ain't you a little glad A-Train's dead?
No, I'm not glad he's dead.
A-Train did a lot of horrible things,
but he saved our lives,
and he died a hero. A real hero.
There are a lot of other Supes
that don't deserve to die either.
Listen, I know you just done
a year in the gulag,
you've earned your seat
at the table, so…
I'll give it to you straight.
You got to knock this wet, gaping
pussy shite on the head, mate.
Ain't doing no one no favors.
Especially your girl.
I mean, that's why she's giving you
the cold shoulder.
Don't talk to me about Annie.
You don't know what's going on with her.
Well, I know that
she finally knows the fucking score.
And she knows that you
poncing about with this Jiminy Cricket,
listen-to-your-heart bollocks
is just gonna get her killed.
Is there any part of you left
that's still human?
You're gonna get Annie killed, not me.
But I won't let you do it.
Noted.
[tires screeching]
[gasps]
- Fuck!
- Hughie, the vial!
It's good.
Wait, is that…?
[ominous music playing]
- [Butcher] Well, well, well.
- [Kimiko] He's dead, right?
He's supposed to be dead?
Supposed to be.
Mallory put him in ice for a bit.
You're telling us this now?
Somebody up there likes us, mate.
In what fucking way?
Well, we wanted a guinea pig.
Who better than Homelander's old man?
New plan.
Oi.
Ain't you supposed to be
a giant ice dildo?
Aren't you supposed to be smart?
Renting a truck under the name
"Don T. Beakunt,"
same alias when we headed to Herogasm.
Well, oldie, but a goodie.
[suspenseful music playing]
No, mate. Just you and me.
I guess it's true.
You're one of us now.
Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
- Then fucking beat 'em.
- Being super is not gonna save you.
That don't stop us helping each other.
Homelander's double the cunt now,
if that's even possible.
He needs doing more than ever.
You still fancy his seat
on The Seven, don't you?
Fuck you. We had a deal.
I held up my end of the bargain,
and you sold me out,
put me back in a fucking box.
And for what?
'Cause I was gonna kill some dumb kid?
- That kid is your grandson.
- Well, was it worth it?
You feeling good about that call
right about now?
Where is that fucking brat?
Homelander's the one
fucking you over, mate.
Or did he mention
that we've got an uber-virus
strong enough to kill every fucking Supe
on the planet?
- Bullshit.
- God's honest.
The things this virus can do…
Fucking diabolical.
Why do you think he sent you here
instead of coming himself?
You're the sacrificial cunt again.
- I guess we'll see.
- You don't get it, do you?
Me, Homelander, your old crew,
everyone fucks you over.
Do you want to know why?
'Cause you are a dumb fucking twat.
- [dog barking in distance]
- What the fuck was that?
[gasps]
Hey.
- You two fucktards the local Supes?
- [Sheline] Holy shit.
Soldier Boy?
What? You're a dead socialist.
The fuck?
That's for being stupid.
Now shut your cum bucket and listen.
A Jap and a fairy took off east.
Find them and kill them,
or I'm gonna rip your intestines
out of your asses
and tie them together like shoelaces.
Move!
Oh…
[quietly] Fuck.
Fucking figures.
[intense music playing]
- M.M., get ready, we're coming in.
- [Mother's Milk] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Slow down, kid.
Soldier Boy?
[Hughie speaking indistinctly]
He's alive?
Fuck that.
- Just h-how long do we have? Just…
- [call disconnects]
Hughie? Hughie?
[tense music playing]
We got to move.
A fucking H-bomb is headed this way.
Oh, shit.
Ah… [growls]
[breathing heavily]
[intense music playing]
- [horn honks]
- [yells]
Go.
[coughs]
[Hughie screaming]
Whoo!
I got to drop a dookie. Get it?
- That's you.
- [screams]
You're the dookie.
[screaming]
Hughie.
[shouting]
[screaming]
I got you.
I know.
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
- Is the virus…?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's good, I think.
- Okay.
[Butcher] Oi!
- Cunts!
- [Annie] Oh, shit.
- [Butcher] Move!
- [Annie] Oh, no.
Come!
Jesus.
You're with me.
Hey.
Hughie Campbell.
How is a useless cock gobbler
like you still alive?
All your jokes are about
dudes blowing dudes.
You're kind of obsessed.
Is this the virus he was going on about?
The so-called Supe-killer?
Well, not today,
you semen-swilling butt pirate.
What?
No virus. Bitch, I will
- shoot hot cum in your face.
- [Jetstreak] Bro.
Do not nut right now.
[gagging]
What the f…?
[rumbling]
No.
No.
Hey.
[coughing]
[wheezing]
[Frenchie] Hey.
M!
[dramatic music playing]
Notre Père, qui est aux cieux,
que ton nom soit sanctifié.
[Butcher] Well?
They dead?
Very.
- Oh, fuck, I wish I'd have seen that.
- [Hughie] No.
You don't.
Come on, let's leg it.
No, no, no, mon coeur.
Not until we are certain
I have not been infected with this plague.
[crow cawing]
[mouths]
[crows cawing]
Yes. [sighs]
- [door opens]
- [Ashley] May I have a word?
Wait out there.
[door closes]
- What are you doing?
- I'm about to enjoy a Meximelt.
- There is extra if you want to join in.
- No, thank you.
Crunchwrap Supreme? Cheesy Gordita Crunch?
- No.
- Cantina Crispy Chicken Taco?
I don't want any Taco fucking Bell.
Okay.
Rounding up all the Starlight sympathizers
is a well-thought-out plan,
- clearly the right call.
- He's not in the building.
Thank fucking God. What the fuck?
- Why are we doing this?
- Doing what?
If posting weird shit were a crime,
I'd be serving two life sentences.
Homelander sets the agenda.
- I just execute.
- That's bullshit.
You're the smartest person on the planet.
There is no way
you don't have an angle here.
My angle?
My angle is that I could have
Warren Buffet on the ground,
tongue lashing my clit
till he needs a knee replacement.
All the rich white fucks of the world
hang on my every word.
It's… nicer than I expected.
[psychic voice] Ashley, she's smart.
She's got to listen to reason.
[Ashley] Look, I've been there.
Literally where you're sitting.
But that chair isn't a pedestal.
It's a chopping block.
And I can help you,
but you got to talk to me.
[tense music playing]
Don't strain yourself
trying to read my mind again.
You know you can't.
[laughs] You're gonna blow out
the back of your skull.
[psychic voice] Wow.
You're unbelievable, Ashley.
That was the most pathetic display
of a backbone I've ever seen.
They're arresting innocent people,
but sure,
let Sage suck down her garbage chalupa.
- [vehicle door closes]
- I need a minute.
[suspenseful music playing]
[vehicle doors closing]
From back here, I see a spine.
- Fucking use it.
- Do I get laser eyes?
No, I get a psychic fucking tumor.
This is junior year all over again.
Do you remember when you let
Danny Trachtenberg fingerblast us
behind the Friendly's
'cause he had Jamiroquai tickets,
and then he took Miriam Applebaum?
Going along won't get you what you want.
Going along is why we're still alive.
You should've left with A-Train
when he asked you to.
- At least he had a shred of decency.
- That's why he's dead.
"First they came for the Communists,
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist."
I don't need Martin Niemöller right now.
You used to love his poetry.
And Birkenstocks and throwing clay.
You used to want to do some good
in the world.
- What happened?
- I tried. I tried.
But there's nothing I can do.
Half of Washington
thinks Homelander's batshit.
The CIA, the Pentagon.
They will follow you if you lead them.
I'm not a leader, I'm vice president.
You can still do some good, Ashley.
We can still do some good.
Just shut up,
or I'm gonna float on my back
in the tub again. You want that?
You're better than this.
You are better than this.
No!
Ow!
[Hughie] So we're clear?
You're absolutely sure?
Triple-checked the results.
None of you are carriers.
Humans are immune.
Une chance. Merci la bonne mère.
[grunts]
[groaning in pain]
[Mother's Milk] Goddamn.
I only seen shit like this one other time.
It was on you outside of that truck stop
whore house on I-23. [laughs]
[Butcher] Soldier Cunt down.
Homelander to go.
- We fucking did it.
- About time.
[door opens]
Mon coeur.
[gentle music playing]
Let's run away.
What?
There are over 50 uninhabited islands
in the Pacific.
We just need to find one so remote,
nobody will ever find us.
You were right.
This virus,
there is no containing it, no stopping it.
I do not know how to protect you from it,
except to take you as far away
from here as possible.
We have to stay.
Mon amour, you did not see its carnage.
- It's too dangerous.
- It's dangerous for everyone now.
Innocent people are being round up.
No. Je peux pas.
Don't ask me to watch you die.
I think this is how we make amends.
For the lives we've taken.
I think we have to…
Get up every day and keep going?
[somber music playing]
Oui.
C'est ça.
[vape hissing]
You're allowed to freak out, you know.
This virus.
It's fucking brutal.
I don't know, for Rock Hard,
I'd say it's an improvement.
I haven't exactly had
a magical year either.
Neither of us is fine.
And we shouldn't be.
And if you don't want to talk about it,
- you don't have to.
- Perfect.
But I'm not letting you die.
I'm gonna keep fighting.
And if you can't,
then I'm just gonna fight for both of us.
But just don't turn into
fucking Butcher, okay?
[slow, dramatic music playing]
[door opens]
I know. I'm late.
[Terror whining softly]
All right, Terror.
Time for your meds.
Oh, yeah.
- Who's a good boy, ay?
- [whines softly]
[spraying]
[booming thud]
Whoa, hey.
Be careful, sir.
There's a viral contagion.
I got here as soon as I heard,
and I locked shit down.
Sending Soldier Boy to test the waters,
pretty fucking strategic, sir.
You're always playing 3D chess,
aren't you?
I told him to report back.
Told him not to go in alone.
Why would he do that?
Well, it's more like Soldier Doy,
- am I right?
- Leave.
Well, I just, um, got to be here, sir.
- To do the…
- Should've been you.
Okay.
- I'm sorry.
- Leave.
[tense music playing]
I was swimming.
[inhales sharply]
[somber music playing]
No…
No…
Not you, too.
Not you.
[grunting]
Why does everyone keep leaving me?
I'm sorry. [sniffles]
[man] Hazardous site.
Stay back.
- [Chumbawamba sings "Tubthumping"]
- I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
Pissing the night away ♪
Pissing the night away ♪
He drinks a whiskey drink,
he drinks a vodka drink ♪
He drinks a lager drink,
he drinks a cider drink ♪
He sings the songs that remind him
of the good times ♪
He sings the songs that remind him
of the better times ♪
Oh Danny Boy, Danny Boy ♪
Danny Boy ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
Pissing the night away ♪
Pissing the night away ♪
He drinks a whiskey drink,
he drinks a vodka drink ♪
He drinks a lager drink,
he drinks a cider drink ♪
He sings the songs that remind him
of the good times ♪
He sings the songs that remind him
of the better times ♪
Don't cry for me ♪
Next door neighbor ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
♪
[yelling]
[tense music playing]
This is my son. Your grandson.
[Soldier Boy] You're
a fucking disappointment.
- [groaning]
- Get out of the building! Now!
- Butcher, stop!
- [yelling]
[Soldier Boy] Everything you wanted.
He's right fucking there.
And now you blink?
[aide] Ladies and gentlemen,
- the vice president of the United States.
- [groans]
I know exactly what you're thinking.
Literally.
[Sage] Homelander wants
more Starlighters arrested.
As long as you're useful,
everything will come up Ashley.
- Oh, my God, Sameer.
- Is that Zoe's dad?
[Butcher] You're gonna make us
some more of that virus.
- [yelling]
- [Frenchie] Kimiko!
[Annie] You're still working on the virus,
and you want Frenchie.
Homelander's fuming.
He's gonna execute
Hughie, Frenchie, and M in about 36 hours.
We need your help to break them out.
You're fucking crazy.
Mon coeur.
Frenchie.
[grunting]
What was I so afraid of?
[laughing]
- [growls]
- [bones crunch]
- Faster than the speed of light ♪
- [rhythmic clapping]
Watching as your dreams take flight ♪
I think I should stand and fight ♪
Then disappear into the night ♪
Into the night ♪
♪
- Praise the Lord.
- [audience member] Praise the Lord.
[others] Praise the Lord.
We come together to mourn
- the one and only A-Train.
- [others] Amen.
[Oh Father] He loved his country,
his God,
but, most of all, his captain.
Homelander, amen.
- [others] Amen.
- [audience member] Amen, sir.
[Oh Father] But…
our martyred brother in Christ…
…was struck down…
…by that jezebel.
[booing, murmuring]
That wily emissary of Satan himself,
Starlight.
- [jeering]
- That's right.
Now, you know
that ain't no figure of speech, right?
It ain't no metaphors in this house.
Starlight and her minions
are literally possessed by demons!
They're spewing vomit!
They're eating babies!
They're turning little boys
into little girls with garden shears!
- Lord have mercy!
- [jeering]
But we cast those demons out
of this house.
- Amen!
- We fight
hellfire with holy fire.
- Mm-hmm.
- We fight
- with the ballot box.
- [agreeing]
We fight with the ammo box!
- [agreeing]
- Matthew 10:34!
"I do not come to bring the peace
but a sword!"
You are not here to be blessed!
You are here to do war!
- [cheering]
- Amen!
- Amen!
- Amen!
Amen.
Can you feel the Holy Ghost's power?
I said, can you feel
the Holy Ghost's power?
- [agreeing]
- Then I need you to praise him.
- Praise him!
- Praise him.
Praise him for victory.
- Praise him for America.
- [others] Praise him!
[Oh Father] Praise him
for our superheroes.
Hallelujah!
Stand up!
Stand up in the name of Jesus!
[woman] My sweet boy.
[tense music playing]
- [Oh Father] Amen!
- [others] Amen!
- [Oh Father] Amen!
- Amen!
- [Oh Father] Amen!
- [organ music playing]
[mysterious music playing]
[grunts]
Welcome to the outskirts
of Erie, Pennsylvania,
a charming little burg
best known for its staggering amount
of fentanyl overdoses.
- [door closes]
- Oh, and, uh,
when you come in here…
…keep your mouths shut
or I'll do the fucking lot of you.
- [Chumbawamba sings "Tubthumping"]
- I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
He drinks a whiskey drink,
he drinks a vodka drink ♪
He drinks a lager drink,
he drinks a cider drink ♪
He sings the songs
that remind him of the good times…
- You're still working on the virus.
- [Butcher] Not working.
Sorted.
Thanks to this diamond geezer.
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
- Sameer?
- I get knocked down ♪
♪
I found him not long after that bollocks
with Neuman and poor little Zoe.
Well, you lot remember, don't you?
When that cunt Homelander…
brutally murdered them in cold blood.
Poor sods.
Didn't stand a chance.
Sameer.
Hi, I'm Hughie. I was friends with Vicky.
I…
I'm so sorry for your loss.
[Kimiko] Are you an idiot?
He cut off your leg with a hatchet.
And kept me prisoner. So did you.
You shot me with the virus.
Your leg regrew.
[Butcher] All right, all right, listen.
The only thing that matters
is we buried said hatchet
so we could crack on
with the godly work of revenge.
And, good news, Sameer's done it.
As of last week,
that naughty little bug of his
is finally strong enough
to top Homelander.
Well, so we reckon.
We just need a little…
dry run.
[Hughie] This thing kills just Homelander?
Or every Supe?
Don't know.
But we'll have a laugh
finding out, won't we?
Jesus fucking Christ.
Will it infect humans?
Well, you know, we got to test it.
[Frenchie] We're close to Cleveland.
You wish to test it on Rock Hard, non?
I'm glad you're back, mate.
Rock Hard?
A member of Teenage Kix.
Rock Hard is a living mountain.
Nine hundred pounds of walking granite.
Hasn't been seen since his unspeakable
acts at the Lincoln Memorial, non?
Oh, he skull-fucked Lincoln in the ear,
filled it with so much hot cum
it burst out of his mouth.
[Butcher] Which…
makes Rock Hard the perfect lab rat.
Indestructible or nearly,
almost as strong as Homelander,
and no one gives a fuck about him.
So we nip in,
twat him, bring him back here
for a dose of kill juice.
Lemon fucking squeezy.
So…
let's get cracking.
[Firecracker] We got to stop the hate
crimes against Supes before they start.
With President Calhoun's
Freedom To Be Free Act,
local superheroes
can now apprehend Starlighters
before they commit any more violence.
[door opens, closes]
Here you go.
Where'd you get these from?
Just friends. But…
they don't need 'em anymore.
[Hughie] So,
how are we gonna do it?
- Do what?
- Get the virus away from Butcher.
- We kill him.
- No, we're not gonna kill him.
We're not just gonna go along
with this, right?
I'm sorry, do we all have amnesia?
Have we forgotten how fucked Butcher is?
He murdered Vicky
in front of her daughter.
Now he wants to murder every Supe
on the planet, which includes you.
I say we take the virus and we run.
- Or kill him.
- [Annie] Look,
it's 10,000 Supes to save
eight billion people worldwide.
That's a good price in any war.
[Mother's Milk] Look, kid.
It's a shit decision, all right?
We're not denying that.
But they're out there
wrangling people up as we speak.
- We don't have a motherfucking choice.
- [Kimiko] Yes,
there is a choice,
and, no, it's not yours to make.
You're not the one who's going to die.
Right?
Why do you always give in to them?
[sighs]
Kimiko, please.
Wait!
[door opens, closes]
[clicks tongue]
[grunts]
[door opens]
[door closes]
Hey.
So…
it's been a tough year. [chuckles softly]
No. No.
I mean, I have been at Epcot, mostly.
Huh.
Why do you bring it up?
Just your whole vibe.
Ditching Ivy and I at the camp.
You're siding with Butcher.
Your hair's different.
Okay, not so much about the hair.
It's just, uh…
[sighs]
Annie,
whatever you had to do…
…I get it.
It's okay.
We can…
We can figure this out.
- We can…
- Talk?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Or…
…counterpoint…
…not talk.
I mean…
Yeah, that's a…
that's a pretty compelling point.
[Annie] Mmm.
[both moaning]
[both moaning]
- [door slams]
- [panting]
You stood there.
Mon coeur, listen…
Chewed off. Sliced in two by Homelander.
Shot here, here, here.
It hurt every time. But the virus?
That was the only time I wanted to die!
The pain.
Agony! Fucking agony!
Butcher's going to do that to me.
And you're okay with it!
No.
On my life, I'm not.
But this is happening
with or without us.
So I must learn everything I can
about this pestilence,
so I can protect you.
[gentle music playing]
I spent every day of the last year…
…dreaming about you.
[speaking French]
Of your hair,
[breathing heavily]
your soft skin,
I dream.
You think that I would let anything…
…take you away from me again?
I dreamt about you, too.
[shuddering]
C'est incroyable.
Your voice is even more beautiful
than I dreamed.
[both moaning]
Clothes off. Now.
- [INXS sings "Never Tear Us Apart"]
- [panting]
Mwah.
Your bottom half,
is it fully regrown?
My vagina's tingly and damp.
Don't ask me ♪
what you know is true ♪
Don't have to tell you ♪
I love your precious heart ♪
I ♪
[panting]
I was standing ♪
You were there ♪
And they could never tear us apart ♪
I told you ♪
that we could fly ♪
- But some of us don't know why ♪
- [moaning]
[panting]
I was standing ♪
You were there ♪
[moans]
And they could never ever ♪
tear us apart ♪
♪
[eerie music playing]
[sighs]
God…
damn it, A-Train.
[sighs]
It didn't need to come to this.
I don't know.
You left me no choice.
I know my leadership style can be…
stern.
But…
it was for your own good.
I liked to think of myself as…
the big brother…
…that you never had.
You remember that girlfriend you had?
Uh…
[sniffles]
Pop…
Popfang.
Betrayed us both.
To William Butcher, no less.
Huge mess. Your fault. What did I do?
What did I do?
I gave you a chance to make things right.
I-I reached out my hand.
And you bit it.
What did I ever do
to deserve that?
What, was I too nurturing?
Too forgiving? Well, maybe.
But, damn it,
you weren't like the others.
Snakes,
backstabbers.
I could count on you, man.
I did count on you.
I loved you.
But here we are.
Why does this keep happening to me?
I guess the strongest men
are the most alone.
You wouldn't understand.
Nobody does.
[pensive music playing]
[hissing]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- Ooh ♪
- E-Eyes on me ♪
Pretty when I wake ♪
And I know you want, I know you want,
I know you want more ♪
♪
Firecracker's Flaming Freedom Sticks.
I'm Countess Crow:
Countess of the Crows.
And we're doing
a Voughtality vamp glam tutorial.
[Butcher] Wankers.
Can't even take a shit
without it being sponsored.
You know they get paid, like,
50 grand a post for this shit.
- Fifty grand?
- Mm-hmm.
[Butcher] Dog wankers.
[loud drilling]
[Annie] Guys, we drill any louder
and the Real Housewives of Cunt Street
are gonna hear.
Frenchie, how much longer?
Teenage Kix should head out on patrol
any minute.
- They go out, we go in.
- [Hughie] Rock Hard hasn't posted
in a year.
He might not live here anymore.
Every day, Countess Crow:
Countess of the Crows
brings down
a protein shake to the basement.
I'd bet my bottom anal beads
he's down there.
[dance music playing faintly over phone]
[phone chimes]
[message chime]
Everything okay?
All good.
- [mysterious music playing]
- [vehicle approaching]
[knocking]
Oi. Look lively back there.
All right, nothing fancy, yeah?
Nip in, twat him, bring him back here.
Keep the engine running.
[kissing sounds]
[Annie clears throat]
Oh. You ready?
[creaking]
[unzipping]
[banging]
Internet's down.
Cams, too.
[Annie] Um…
Yeah, we have a problem.
Putain de merde.
He really let himself go.
[tense music playing]
[computer voice] The fuck you
ass splitters
doing in here?
[Annie] My God, asshole must weigh
30,000 pounds.
My dick
weighs more, bitch.
[Butcher] Well, there ain't no way
we can move him.
Even with the three of us.
[Hughie] So what now?
[inhales sharply]
[grunts, gasps]
[grunts]
[panting]
You. What the fuck?
No, no. No, no. It's okay.
- It's okay. I don't want to hurt you.
- [grunts]
You're safe, okay?
You've been in deep freeze again.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
For how long?
Almost two years.
In a CIA black site.
I just found out this morning.
You found out this morning?
Yeah.
But that just happens to be in your room?
Did you fuck me?
What?
- Is this some kind of incest thing?
- No!
- Then what the fuck is this?
- [stammers] Look,
I…
I want you to find William Butcher.
Find him yourself.
Well, the people
that work for me are limited.
And you are the best tracker there is.
I just, I need you to find him
and report back.
Very simple.
You want me…
to work for you?
Well, why don't we say "work with me"?
And… I can help you.
I can give you a proper comeback.
I don't need you for that.
Well, the whole world does think
that you're a Russian spy, so…
[exhales] Okay.
All right.
Listen to me.
I'm no ass-felching commie.
You got that?!
I know, I know. And, listen,
I am Vought now.
Me.
So, the public,
they're gonna believe that you are
whatever I tell them you are.
I can resurrect you.
I can give you back what you lost.
I can even make you
number two in The Seven.
Number two?
Or how about I finish the job…
…and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
Yeah, you could try.
Who knows, you might even fry the V
right out of my blood.
Or you might not.
But I'm betting
that you hate William Butcher
more than you…
than you hate… me.
After all, I'm-I'm not the one
that betrayed you.
Am I?
I tried to kill you.
Minute I turn my back,
how do I know you won't return the favor?
Look, uh…
[tense music playing]
You find William Butcher for me…
…all is forgiven.
Looks like a fucking kindergarten ashtray.
- [soothing music playing]
- Improve your sleep.
Strengthen your immune system.
Nourish your soul.
The ancient Taoists believed
that perineum sunning stopped qi,
life force, from leaving the body
and invited prana,
solar energy, in.
Don't ignore your anal wellness.
Introducing the new Deep Brand
Sigma Solarium by Vought.
By bros,
for bros.
[Hughie] Okay, we need
- to abort.
- [computer voice] Your
mom should have aborted you.
Fuck it.
We'll test it here.
What test?
Monsieur Charcutier, if the virus is
contagious as Sameer says, c'est fini.
- The game is over.
- No, Butcher's right.
Rock Hard has seen us,
so we can't leave.
Virus?
- What virus?
- [Butcher] Look,
I didn't break you lot out of the pen
to flap about.
Now, all we got to do
is seal the ventilation,
every exit point,
tighter than a Boy Scout's arsehole
at a jamboree.
Non, non, non, non, c'est pas possible.
Maybe.
[rocks clattering]
Yo.
- Is that motherfucker holding his breath?
- Uh-huh.
[Frenchie His heart rate
is ten beats per minute.
He can probably hold his breath
for a couple of hours,
like a blue whale.
If he won't breathe,
how do we get the virus in him?
Well, he ain't our first whale, is he?
You lot sort this. I'll fetch the virus.
Kimiko, you're with me.
Oi, you two. Leave it out, would you.
We're fuckin' working here.
Hey.
I'm coming with you.
- What for?
- I don't trust you.
[grunts]
Yeah.
Suit yourself.
[tense music playing]
We've so far identified
the location of 10,000
active Starlight sympathizers.
Coincidentally,
the map is almost identical
to where the most nut milks are consumed.
Where's Noir?
He just disappears every afternoon.
Won't say where he's going.
Won't say shit.
Thinks he's all Method.
[scoffs] Fucking Meisner technique.
- Is that a Jew thing?
- [Sage] We are using
local Supes and law enforcement
to round them up,
but you can invoke the Insurrection Act
if we need to deploy the military,
- Mr. President.
- Good idea.
What qualifies someone
as an active Starlighter?
That's gonna be anyone who posts
pro-Starlight or anti-Homelander content.
Honestly, the VoughtBook algorithm
does most of the work for us.
We have got, what, 52,000 data points
on every user.
We truly live in an age of wonder.
But we are gonna need to triple the
amount of Freedom Camps to hold them all.
Love it.
It's just that, after we've paid
for Vought's military contracts,
all those corporate tax breaks,
and for the existing Freedom Camps,
Treasury's running a little dry.
People get twitchy
at rounding up their neighbors,
but they'll flat-out revolt
if we raise taxes.
[psychic voice] The president is thinking
how insane this is right now.
He'll back you. You can do it, speak up.
And a lot of these sympathizers
are Vought customers.
Won't their arrests
eat into your bottom line?
Nah, we'll just start
selling ads on Vought Plus.
[psychic voice] Wow. Amazing Ashley.
You're a real Che Guevara.
[Calhoun] Well, alrighty then, let me ask
the most important question.
Do I got immunity?
- [doors opening]
- [dramatic music playing]
For fuck's sake.
Soldier Boy,
this is the president, vice president
of the United States of America.
They work for me.
Everyone, Soldier Boy
is gonna be number two
in The Seven, once he has located
William Butcher and Annie January.
What? Wait, wait, what, sir? No, sir. I…
- I can do this. I can bring them in.
- Oh, like you did with A-Train?
We're going in a new direction, Deep.
Competence.
Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's
gonna need a full pardon.
Well, sir, he, uh, he was guilty of…
you know, treason.
- Consider it done, sir.
- Terrific.
And you know what?
I'm sure the man's dying for a drink.
Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
- Manhattan.
- Manhattan.
- Thanks, Steve.
- Of course.
- Can I get you a-a glass of milk, sir?
- No.
[stammers] Stephen.
I'll also have a Manhattan.
Goddamn.
Since when could Supes
tea-bag the president?
Since me.
[energetic music playing]
[beeps]
[sighs] Okay, what's next?
[rumbling]
[suspenseful music playing]
What is it?
- [rumbling intensifies]
- Look out!
- Oh, God.
- Putain.
Bien sur. It's mountain pornography.
- What?
- Almost got you fuckers.
Ha ha.
- Oh.
- Oh. Sh…
Nope.
[Frenchie] At least that explains
how he's grown.
From bashing his bishop.
Gross.
[Mother's Milk sighs]
[slow, dramatic music playing]
Mmm.
Now that's what I'm talking about.
Oh, God.
Fucking unsanitary.
Ugh.
[somber music playing]
[sighs]
[Countess Crow] So, our first step is
gonna be to use the Firecracking primer.
It's an amazing base,
and is used by the most trusted…
[suspenseful music playing]
Next up will be to apply my fave
foundation from my Voughtality collab,
Velvet Ember.
It doesn't fade,
even after a long day of shoving
- Starlighters into police vans.
- [crow caws]
We talked about this.
I don't have a choice.
- They make me do this.
- [crow caws]
Here we go.
Today, I'm gonna be going
for a dark hero look.
So, we're gonna be using Black Noir's
Noir Black Liquid Eyeliner because it is
- the GOAT.
- [crow cawing]
- [screaming]
- You dare enter my dark domain?
I am Countess Crow: Countess of the Crows.
And I shall make you
rue the day that you decided…
Fucking shit!
[intense, dramatic music playing]
[panting]
[crow cawing]
Fuck.
[Frenchie] C'est ça.
It's like each layer of cum
represents the slow passage of time.
It's like a metaphor for life, non?
It's a metaphor for my balls.
[phone buzzes]
Mademoiselle Annie, what is the matter?
A Starlighter cell
in St. Louis was raided, so
they're all gone.
Just like the one in Portland
and Sacramento and Boise and…
I guess we can add A-Train
to that list, right?
You didn't kill them.
They chose to fight.
Yeah, because they thought that
I was going to save them.
I told them that we were
gonna make it out.
Fucking easy for me to say.
I'm bulletproof.
[somber music playing]
Have you told petit Hughie any of this?
No, no, because he'll say
it wasn't my fault, s-so I can't.
So, this is why you do not care
if the virus kills you.
I led them to a shallow grave.
So I just get a fucking white picket fence
and cherry pie? No.
I can't live like that.
If I follow them, it's the only thing
that makes sense.
[sighs]
I am the heavyweight champion
in torturing myself over lives lost.
And, yes, it's easier
to wallow in your guilt.
But tough fucking shit.
You get up every day and you keep going.
Anything else is an insult to the dead.
[Countess Crow] You creep.
Just let go!
Get your chapped, old man hands off of me.
Guess who didn't make it to patrol today?
Oh, shit.
Starlight?
Oh, my God.
You guys are terrorists.
What do we do with her?
Same as Rock Hard.
We don't have a choice.
- Huh?
- All right. Come on.
No. What?
[huffs] Let me go!
[grunts] Baby killer!
[indistinct chatter]
[crying] No.
Pounced on this Starlighter scum
right in our own neighborhood.
All this crime-stopping
makes me so thirsty.
[gasps] Turbo Rush.
The drink of heroes. Only 15 calories.
Cut.
- That was a good take. Huh?
- No, no, please.
This is a mistake.
- I am not a Starlighter.
- Shh.
"Only 15 calories."
- Yeah?
- "Now with acai
- and maca root."
- Oh… Fuck, I forgot about that.
- Mom!
- No, Corey, go back inside, please.
Yo! You stay back
'cause if you ruin my shot,
it's on-sight, bitch.
Okay, let's go again.
And fix your tits, they're lopsided.
- Okay, come on, come on.
- [crying]
All this crime-stopping
makes me so thirsty.
Turbo Rush. Now with acai and maca root.
- That's fucking perfect.
- Okay, great.
- Okay. Have fun in camp.
- [Sheline] Let's go.
- [mom] No. Please. No.
- [Corey] Mom!
- [indistinct chatter]
- [somber music playing]
Mom!
- Pull over.
- Not a chance.
We have to help them.
Help them, and every Supe within 500 miles
will be up our arse within the hour.
We stay the course,
minds on the fucking job.
Fuck the job.
[squelching]
[Hughie] Kimiko.
Don't.
[sniffs]
[sniffs]
[sighs]
[Sage] Homelander?
Shit.
[Sage] Homelander?
Sage.
- Hey.
- I was just, um…
What can I do… for you?
Well, that was quite a surprise today.
Are you sure waking him
was the right call?
- Yes.
- Did you tell Soldier Boy about the virus?
No. I did not. Of course not.
Well, what am I gonna say?
Uh… [stammers]
"Yeah, hey, I really want you to do
this job for me, but careful,
'cause there's a Supe-killing virus
out there, and you may die screaming."
Sure he would've jumped at that. [sighs]
You have a lot to learn about
managing big personalities, young lady.
Well, besides,
if there is a virus out there,
- better he take the risk than us, right?
- Ah…
- That's tactical.
- Exactly.
'Cause for a moment, I was afraid
you'd only woken him
because he was your dad.
[laughs]
So, when he gets infected and he dies…
You don't know that's gonna happen.
When it does, you won't go to pieces.
- 'Cause it was tactical, right?
- Mm… Mm-hmm.
Right?
[suspenseful music playing]
[tense music playing]
Testing a biological weapon
in an uncontrolled environment
is dangerous enough.
Transporting it without
the necessary precautions…
All right, all right.
Less talking, more giving.
I'll take it.
So, how fragile is this?
Very, very fragile.
If it broke on the way?
It could kill every superhero on Earth.
There's also a non-zero percent chance
it could wipe out every human on Earth.
Ah.
Well…
Best not drop it, ay?
Thank you so much.
[exciting music playing]
[neck cracks]
[both grunting]
[whirring]
[Frenchie] Breathe, putain.
- [hammering stops]
- [Annie sighs]
[hammering continues]
You get him to breathe yet?
What?
- Did you get him to breathe yet?
- Enculé.
Non. Le Connard is impervious.
The rest of the Kix will be back soon.
Merde alors.
We're doing everything we can, huh.
[hammering stops]
You know, you were wrong earlier.
- We're not terrorists.
- [Countess Crow] On God,
when everyone comes back,
Jetstreak's gonna shoot an RPG up your ass
and Sheline is gonna take a shit
in the gaping hole that's left.
Look, you being here
was not part of the plan, all right?
It's just a shitty situation.
Yeah, the shittiness ratio
is absolutely equal here.
We don't want to be here
any longer than we have to be.
All we need
is to get Rock Hard to breathe.
Does your face full of pubes mean
your friends fuck your pussy mouth?
I got a teenage daughter.
That shit right there
bounces right off me.
Hey, didn't you use to have,
like, ten crows at one time?
What's it called, a murder?
Oh, let me guess.
Sheline ate your crows.
[laughs] Damn. Countess,
they don't give a fuck about you
or the two crows you have left.
Their names are Russell and Cameron.
Point is, Vought doesn't care
about y'all neither.
They're training you for, what,
60% of your earnings?
It's ridiculous.
Oh.
- Motherfucker, don't go through my shit.
- Prozac,
Wellbutrin,
Lexapro.
- Great, great.
- Kid, what are you, 19 years old?
Why are you grinding yourself
to the nubs for these people?
All they're gonna do is squeeze you
for every cent you got,
and then sell you out in a heartbeat.
Why are you risking your life for them?
Please. Please don't kill me.
I just want to go home.
I miss my mom and my dad.
Please.
[sighs]
[Butcher whistling]
Careful.
[continues whistling]
[sighs]
[Butcher] Oi. Fucking smile, Hughie.
Ain't you a little glad A-Train's dead?
No, I'm not glad he's dead.
A-Train did a lot of horrible things,
but he saved our lives,
and he died a hero. A real hero.
There are a lot of other Supes
that don't deserve to die either.
Listen, I know you just done
a year in the gulag,
you've earned your seat
at the table, so…
I'll give it to you straight.
You got to knock this wet, gaping
pussy shite on the head, mate.
Ain't doing no one no favors.
Especially your girl.
I mean, that's why she's giving you
the cold shoulder.
Don't talk to me about Annie.
You don't know what's going on with her.
Well, I know that
she finally knows the fucking score.
And she knows that you
poncing about with this Jiminy Cricket,
listen-to-your-heart bollocks
is just gonna get her killed.
Is there any part of you left
that's still human?
You're gonna get Annie killed, not me.
But I won't let you do it.
Noted.
[tires screeching]
[gasps]
- Fuck!
- Hughie, the vial!
It's good.
Wait, is that…?
[ominous music playing]
- [Butcher] Well, well, well.
- [Kimiko] He's dead, right?
He's supposed to be dead?
Supposed to be.
Mallory put him in ice for a bit.
You're telling us this now?
Somebody up there likes us, mate.
In what fucking way?
Well, we wanted a guinea pig.
Who better than Homelander's old man?
New plan.
Oi.
Ain't you supposed to be
a giant ice dildo?
Aren't you supposed to be smart?
Renting a truck under the name
"Don T. Beakunt,"
same alias when we headed to Herogasm.
Well, oldie, but a goodie.
[suspenseful music playing]
No, mate. Just you and me.
I guess it's true.
You're one of us now.
Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
- Then fucking beat 'em.
- Being super is not gonna save you.
That don't stop us helping each other.
Homelander's double the cunt now,
if that's even possible.
He needs doing more than ever.
You still fancy his seat
on The Seven, don't you?
Fuck you. We had a deal.
I held up my end of the bargain,
and you sold me out,
put me back in a fucking box.
And for what?
'Cause I was gonna kill some dumb kid?
- That kid is your grandson.
- Well, was it worth it?
You feeling good about that call
right about now?
Where is that fucking brat?
Homelander's the one
fucking you over, mate.
Or did he mention
that we've got an uber-virus
strong enough to kill every fucking Supe
on the planet?
- Bullshit.
- God's honest.
The things this virus can do…
Fucking diabolical.
Why do you think he sent you here
instead of coming himself?
You're the sacrificial cunt again.
- I guess we'll see.
- You don't get it, do you?
Me, Homelander, your old crew,
everyone fucks you over.
Do you want to know why?
'Cause you are a dumb fucking twat.
- [dog barking in distance]
- What the fuck was that?
[gasps]
Hey.
- You two fucktards the local Supes?
- [Sheline] Holy shit.
Soldier Boy?
What? You're a dead socialist.
The fuck?
That's for being stupid.
Now shut your cum bucket and listen.
A Jap and a fairy took off east.
Find them and kill them,
or I'm gonna rip your intestines
out of your asses
and tie them together like shoelaces.
Move!
Oh…
[quietly] Fuck.
Fucking figures.
[intense music playing]
- M.M., get ready, we're coming in.
- [Mother's Milk] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Slow down, kid.
Soldier Boy?
[Hughie speaking indistinctly]
He's alive?
Fuck that.
- Just h-how long do we have? Just…
- [call disconnects]
Hughie? Hughie?
[tense music playing]
We got to move.
A fucking H-bomb is headed this way.
Oh, shit.
Ah… [growls]
[breathing heavily]
[intense music playing]
- [horn honks]
- [yells]
Go.
[coughs]
[Hughie screaming]
Whoo!
I got to drop a dookie. Get it?
- That's you.
- [screams]
You're the dookie.
[screaming]
Hughie.
[shouting]
[screaming]
I got you.
I know.
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
- Is the virus…?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's good, I think.
- Okay.
[Butcher] Oi!
- Cunts!
- [Annie] Oh, shit.
- [Butcher] Move!
- [Annie] Oh, no.
Come!
Jesus.
You're with me.
Hey.
Hughie Campbell.
How is a useless cock gobbler
like you still alive?
All your jokes are about
dudes blowing dudes.
You're kind of obsessed.
Is this the virus he was going on about?
The so-called Supe-killer?
Well, not today,
you semen-swilling butt pirate.
What?
No virus. Bitch, I will
- shoot hot cum in your face.
- [Jetstreak] Bro.
Do not nut right now.
[gagging]
What the f…?
[rumbling]
No.
No.
Hey.
[coughing]
[wheezing]
[Frenchie] Hey.
M!
[dramatic music playing]
Notre Père, qui est aux cieux,
que ton nom soit sanctifié.
[Butcher] Well?
They dead?
Very.
- Oh, fuck, I wish I'd have seen that.
- [Hughie] No.
You don't.
Come on, let's leg it.
No, no, no, mon coeur.
Not until we are certain
I have not been infected with this plague.
[crow cawing]
[mouths]
[crows cawing]
Yes. [sighs]
- [door opens]
- [Ashley] May I have a word?
Wait out there.
[door closes]
- What are you doing?
- I'm about to enjoy a Meximelt.
- There is extra if you want to join in.
- No, thank you.
Crunchwrap Supreme? Cheesy Gordita Crunch?
- No.
- Cantina Crispy Chicken Taco?
I don't want any Taco fucking Bell.
Okay.
Rounding up all the Starlight sympathizers
is a well-thought-out plan,
- clearly the right call.
- He's not in the building.
Thank fucking God. What the fuck?
- Why are we doing this?
- Doing what?
If posting weird shit were a crime,
I'd be serving two life sentences.
Homelander sets the agenda.
- I just execute.
- That's bullshit.
You're the smartest person on the planet.
There is no way
you don't have an angle here.
My angle?
My angle is that I could have
Warren Buffet on the ground,
tongue lashing my clit
till he needs a knee replacement.
All the rich white fucks of the world
hang on my every word.
It's… nicer than I expected.
[psychic voice] Ashley, she's smart.
She's got to listen to reason.
[Ashley] Look, I've been there.
Literally where you're sitting.
But that chair isn't a pedestal.
It's a chopping block.
And I can help you,
but you got to talk to me.
[tense music playing]
Don't strain yourself
trying to read my mind again.
You know you can't.
[laughs] You're gonna blow out
the back of your skull.
[psychic voice] Wow.
You're unbelievable, Ashley.
That was the most pathetic display
of a backbone I've ever seen.
They're arresting innocent people,
but sure,
let Sage suck down her garbage chalupa.
- [vehicle door closes]
- I need a minute.
[suspenseful music playing]
[vehicle doors closing]
From back here, I see a spine.
- Fucking use it.
- Do I get laser eyes?
No, I get a psychic fucking tumor.
This is junior year all over again.
Do you remember when you let
Danny Trachtenberg fingerblast us
behind the Friendly's
'cause he had Jamiroquai tickets,
and then he took Miriam Applebaum?
Going along won't get you what you want.
Going along is why we're still alive.
You should've left with A-Train
when he asked you to.
- At least he had a shred of decency.
- That's why he's dead.
"First they came for the Communists,
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist."
I don't need Martin Niemöller right now.
You used to love his poetry.
And Birkenstocks and throwing clay.
You used to want to do some good
in the world.
- What happened?
- I tried. I tried.
But there's nothing I can do.
Half of Washington
thinks Homelander's batshit.
The CIA, the Pentagon.
They will follow you if you lead them.
I'm not a leader, I'm vice president.
You can still do some good, Ashley.
We can still do some good.
Just shut up,
or I'm gonna float on my back
in the tub again. You want that?
You're better than this.
You are better than this.
No!
Ow!
[Hughie] So we're clear?
You're absolutely sure?
Triple-checked the results.
None of you are carriers.
Humans are immune.
Une chance. Merci la bonne mère.
[grunts]
[groaning in pain]
[Mother's Milk] Goddamn.
I only seen shit like this one other time.
It was on you outside of that truck stop
whore house on I-23. [laughs]
[Butcher] Soldier Cunt down.
Homelander to go.
- We fucking did it.
- About time.
[door opens]
Mon coeur.
[gentle music playing]
Let's run away.
What?
There are over 50 uninhabited islands
in the Pacific.
We just need to find one so remote,
nobody will ever find us.
You were right.
This virus,
there is no containing it, no stopping it.
I do not know how to protect you from it,
except to take you as far away
from here as possible.
We have to stay.
Mon amour, you did not see its carnage.
- It's too dangerous.
- It's dangerous for everyone now.
Innocent people are being round up.
No. Je peux pas.
Don't ask me to watch you die.
I think this is how we make amends.
For the lives we've taken.
I think we have to…
Get up every day and keep going?
[somber music playing]
Oui.
C'est ça.
[vape hissing]
You're allowed to freak out, you know.
This virus.
It's fucking brutal.
I don't know, for Rock Hard,
I'd say it's an improvement.
I haven't exactly had
a magical year either.
Neither of us is fine.
And we shouldn't be.
And if you don't want to talk about it,
- you don't have to.
- Perfect.
But I'm not letting you die.
I'm gonna keep fighting.
And if you can't,
then I'm just gonna fight for both of us.
But just don't turn into
fucking Butcher, okay?
[slow, dramatic music playing]
[door opens]
I know. I'm late.
[Terror whining softly]
All right, Terror.
Time for your meds.
Oh, yeah.
- Who's a good boy, ay?
- [whines softly]
[spraying]
[booming thud]
Whoa, hey.
Be careful, sir.
There's a viral contagion.
I got here as soon as I heard,
and I locked shit down.
Sending Soldier Boy to test the waters,
pretty fucking strategic, sir.
You're always playing 3D chess,
aren't you?
I told him to report back.
Told him not to go in alone.
Why would he do that?
Well, it's more like Soldier Doy,
- am I right?
- Leave.
Well, I just, um, got to be here, sir.
- To do the…
- Should've been you.
Okay.
- I'm sorry.
- Leave.
[tense music playing]
I was swimming.
[inhales sharply]
[somber music playing]
No…
No…
Not you, too.
Not you.
[grunting]
Why does everyone keep leaving me?
I'm sorry. [sniffles]
[man] Hazardous site.
Stay back.
- [Chumbawamba sings "Tubthumping"]
- I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
Pissing the night away ♪
Pissing the night away ♪
He drinks a whiskey drink,
he drinks a vodka drink ♪
He drinks a lager drink,
he drinks a cider drink ♪
He sings the songs that remind him
of the good times ♪
He sings the songs that remind him
of the better times ♪
Oh Danny Boy, Danny Boy ♪
Danny Boy ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
Pissing the night away ♪
Pissing the night away ♪
He drinks a whiskey drink,
he drinks a vodka drink ♪
He drinks a lager drink,
he drinks a cider drink ♪
He sings the songs that remind him
of the good times ♪
He sings the songs that remind him
of the better times ♪
Don't cry for me ♪
Next door neighbor ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
I get knocked down but I get up again ♪
You're never gonna keep me down ♪
♪