Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s05e03 Episode Script
Black and White and Chi All Over
1
Drago: You look tired.
Why don't you
knock off early?
Agent: Ooh!
Drago: Now that's what
I'm talkin' about!
Demon chi
And all for me.
Jackie chan, yawning:
Oh, Jade,
what are you doing
out of--aah!
Drago!
Drago: Did I wake you,
sleepyhead?
So sorry!
Jade chan: Hey, Jackie,
what are you doing out of--
wha--drago!
(Jackie and Jade grunt)
Jade: Ok, jackienator--
you go left, I'll go right,
and we'll catch drago--
Jackie: Jade,
you stay here.
Jade: You can't go in
without backup!
Jackie: Hyah! Hut! Haut!
Have you come to section 13
to turn yourself in?
Drago: In your dreams, chan.
Jackie: Uhh!
Uhh!
Drago: I'm here to throw
a little barbecue.
(Alarm blares)
Huh?
Black: You're surrounded,
drago. Game's over.
Drago: Over? I'm just
gettin' warmed up.
Jade: Call me crazy,
but I'm thinking it's time
for a security upgrade.
Drago: Raaahh!
Surrounded!
Outnumbered!
Maybe I shouldn't have
gone solo.
But I will not repeat
your mistakes, father!
I will find the biggest,
baddest henchmen in the world
and fulfill my destiny.
(Jade yawns)
Jade: (Gasp)
It's my birthday! Yes!
(Loud yawn)
OhThere you are!
What's everybody doing?
Black: Is the chi
containment unit stable?
Uncle chan: You want
demon chi kept safe? Yes?
Then let uncle work
without lookie-loos!
Jade: Hello! Anybody wanna
say something?
Tohru: Good morning, Jade.
Jade: Is thatAll?
don't you know
what today is?
Uncle: Hot cha!
Very important day!
Day for uncle's hair cut!
Jade: Aw, come on!
You know it's my birthday.
Now, for breakfast, I want
chocolate chip pancakes
with whipped cream
and strawberries and--
Jackie: I'm sorry, Jade.
Things are a little busy
around section 13
this morning.
We will have to celebrate
your birthday later.
Jade: What?! How much later?
Jackie: Ehh
Just be patient.
Jade: Oh
Drago, quietly: Next.
(Whipping sounds)
Next.
Next!
Punchy: Duh! Get away!
Get away!
Drago: Raaah!
You are all pathetic!
I'm looking for henchmen--
bone-crushing,
skull-caving henchmen!
I can't believe I'm gonna
say this out loud, but
I never should have
fired the enforcers.
Strikemaster ice: Yo, dude.
You seen the rest.
Now eyeball the best!
Punchy: Duh!
Henchman: Uhh!
(Buzz)
(Smash)
Strikemaster ice:
So we got the gig or what?
Drago: What's your name?
Strikemaster ice:
They call me strikemaster ice.
This here's my crew--
dj fist,
and mc cobra.
Yo, gecko-boy be buggin'!
Drago: It's near.
Let's go.
Strikemaster ice:
Yo, hold up, dog.
Now, we don't work
for free.
You want our services,
you gots to show some green!
Yizzle!
Drago: You each now
have a small piece of
my fire demon power--
dragon speed
Dragon strength
And dragon breath.
Strikemaster ice:
That'll work!
Drago: You're on the clock now
and we have demon chi
to claim.
Uncle: The containment
unit is unharmed.
Demon chi cannot escape.
Black: I'm installing
heat and motion sensors
to make sure our
fire-breathing friend
can't pay another visit.
Jade: All right, then.
Let's get Jade's birthday
train back on track.
HmmWhat's first,
lunch at pizza burger?
Or maybe I should
open my presents!
Tohru: (Giggles)
I love birthdays.
Uncle: Aiyaa! Demon chi
has been activated!
Jade: No way.
Not on my birthday!
Uncle: Dai gui,
the earth demon.
Tohru: The flower
of the immortals.
The demon chi
is trapped within.
Jackie: The coronado bridge
in San Diego!
I am sorry, Jade.
Your birthday celebration
will have to wait just
a little longer.
Jade: That's ok. We can
party in San Diego!
Jackie: Uh
It's too dangerous.
You will stay here.
Jade: That's not right.
You can't dis
the birthday girl.
Uncle: Demon chi
is very close.
Jackie: Then all we
have to do is find the
Flower.
Jade: Hey, Jackie!
Jackie: Aah!
Uncle: Demon chi
is in this room.
Florist: Ahem!
May I help you?
Jackie: Uh, it's a
flower freshness detector.
My uncle is very picky.
Drago: So am I.
I want a flower that
smells like demon chi.
(All gasp)
Tohru: Drago.
Jackie: And
Strikemaster ice?
Jade: Hey, pizza-face
got a drago makeover!
Strikemaster ice: Yo dog,
you didn't say nothin' about
puttin' the hurt on chan.
First day on the job
and we're already
gettin' a bonus.
(Attack cries
and grunting)
Drago: Chi loves me
Chi loves me not.
Jade: (Gasps)
Hurry, uncle!
Jackie: Uhh!
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
start pickin' out flowers,
chan, for your funer--
ah-ah-ah-choo!
Jackie: Bless you?
Strikemaster ice:
Ah-choo!
Whoo! Ah-choo!
Ah-choo!
Jackie:
You must be allergic.
Strikemaster ice:
Ah-choo!
Jackie: Bless you.
(Flower pots crashing)
Jackie: Bless you.
Strikemaster ice:
Ah-choo!
Uncle: No, no.
Strikemaster ice:
Ah-choo!
Uncle: NoNo
Uncle: Hot cha!
Drago: For me?
You shouldn't have.
Jade: Hee-yah!
I picked this for you.
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Tohru: Uhh!
Strikemaster ice: Ah--
uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Drago: No!
Uhh!
Florist: My hydrangeas!
Uncle: Jackie,
pay nice man.
Jade: Now that we have
the flower power,
it's time to party down!
I'm still the birthday
girl for 10 more hours.
Jackie: We'll be
back home in time for
a big birthday dinner.
Uncle: Aiyaa!
Jackie: Huh?
Jade: Oh, no!
Uncle: Moon demon tso LAN?
Lotus pod?
One more chi is nearby!
Turn car around!
Tohru: 2 demon chi powers
on the same day?
Jade: Figures.
Tohru: I'm sorry, Jade.
You know we
would all prefer to
celebrate your birthday.
Jade: (Sighs) Whatever.
Drago: Was that
a joke back there?
Did I hire clowns?
I give you powers beyond
your wildest imagination
and you amateurs can't
get past an archaeologist,
a tub of guts, an old man,
and a little girl?!
Strikemaster ice:
Yo, he's buggin' again!
Drago: You three
are about to get
a second chance.
Tohru: I know it isn't
much, but happy birthday.
Jade: Oh, thanks, t.
Uncle: Moon
demon chi is there!
(Drago growls and Jackie,
Jade, uncle, and tohru gasp)
Jackie: Jade, stay here.
Jade: Oh!
Drago: Smells like
chi spirit.
Jade: Step away
from the lotus pod!
Jackie: Jade!
Jade: I'm your backup,
remember?
Tohru: The demon chi
stays. You go.
Drago: We'll see
about that.
What? It was here
a second ago.
Uncle: Moon demon chi--
control over gravity.
(Drago snarls)
Jade: Uncle, let's
bring the "floater"
back down to earth.
Tohru: Uhh!
Uhh!
Ooh!
Jade: Hey, boy,
come over here!
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Jade: Mmm! Cotton candy!
Yummy in your tummy!
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee--
Jade: No hitchhiking!
Drago: I'll come back
for you later.
Jackie: Whoooooa!
Uhh!
Tohru: UhWhoops.
Jackie: Which way
did they go?
Bwaa!
Bad day, bad day, bad day!
Bad day, bad day, bad day!
Bad day, bad--bad day!
Jade: Uncle!
Uncle: Leave
Chinese Bear alone!
(Fist, cobra, ice,
and drago scream)
(Seals clapping)
Jackie: Nice panda,
come to--
wh-whooaaa!
Jade: Jackie!
Jackie: Whooaaa--oof!
Good catch, tohru.
Jade: Step on it, t!
Jackie: don't worry,
we'll bring it back
later! Thank you!
Jade: Whoa! The panda's
going all moony.
Uncle: Panda will
return to normal once
the demon chi is removed.
Jade: Hey, boy, trade ya!
Cotton candy for that
yucky demon chi!
Uncle and tohru: Yu-mo-
gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-
fie-Dee-tsao.
Jade: Yes! And now
it's time for Jade's
birthday bash!
Uncle: Uncle was
afraid of this.
Tohru: Sensei?
Uncle: Chi-o-matic
can only hold
one power at a time!
Drago: Fore!
Now that is some
serious hang time!
Uncle: Jackie!
Drago must not obtain
earth demon chi!
You must become
living vessel.
Jade: Ooh! Ooh! Let me
be the living vessel!
I can handle it.
I have experience.
Come on,
it's my birthday!
Drago: It's
a 2-for-1 special.
Noooooo!
Jackie: Ooh, tingly.
Uncle: Jackie! Do not
let drago touch you!
He will try to drain
demon chi!
Drago: Oh, I won't just
touch you, chan.
I'll rip you apart!
Jackie: Did I do that?
Uncle: Of course!
Why do you think it is
called earth demon chi?
Jade: You dine with the t,
you get a helping of the j.
Strikemaster ice:
Yo, shortstop,
why don't you let
the grown-ups handle
this, a-ight?
Jade: Afraid I'll whoop
your butts again?
Strikemaster ice:
You got the crust,
little lady.
Let's see if you
got the sauce.
Whoa!
Drago: Hey, chanCatch!
(Jackie coughs)
Jackie: Uncle! Have you
fixed the chi-o-matic?
Uncle: Do not rush uncle!
Drago: Fire in the hole!
Jackie: Aah!
Drago: All that digging
must have made you
thirsty, chan.
How about a little juice?
Tingly.
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Drago: No!
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-
fie-Dee-tsao.
(Rumbling and crackling)
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
ice gonna bring the heat!
Jade: And this is for
ruining my birthday!
Hee-yah!
Come on, yin-Yang,
let's get you home.
(Footsteps)
Strikemaster ice:
Yo, d, a little hizzle?
(Drago roars)
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-
fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-fie-
Dee-tsao.
Black: 4 down, 4 to go.
Jackie: And someone is
still the birthday girl
for 4 more minutes.
(Jade snoring)
Jackie: Shh.
She is sleeping.
Jade: Hey Jackie, is there
a yin and Yang to your
personality?
Jackie: Yin-Yang. I think
everybody have a yin-Yang.
Yin-Yang. Sometimes
I feel I'm very strong,
but sometimes I do feel
I'm very weak.
In my body, the Yang always
want to beat the ying.
Sometimes when
I'm doing a stunt,
this side tell me,
"dangerous,"
but another side tell me,
"no, you can do it."
So, this way, I do
have a yin-Yang, yes.
Drago: You look tired.
Why don't you
knock off early?
Agent: Ooh!
Drago: Now that's what
I'm talkin' about!
Demon chi
And all for me.
Jackie chan, yawning:
Oh, Jade,
what are you doing
out of--aah!
Drago!
Drago: Did I wake you,
sleepyhead?
So sorry!
Jade chan: Hey, Jackie,
what are you doing out of--
wha--drago!
(Jackie and Jade grunt)
Jade: Ok, jackienator--
you go left, I'll go right,
and we'll catch drago--
Jackie: Jade,
you stay here.
Jade: You can't go in
without backup!
Jackie: Hyah! Hut! Haut!
Have you come to section 13
to turn yourself in?
Drago: In your dreams, chan.
Jackie: Uhh!
Uhh!
Drago: I'm here to throw
a little barbecue.
(Alarm blares)
Huh?
Black: You're surrounded,
drago. Game's over.
Drago: Over? I'm just
gettin' warmed up.
Jade: Call me crazy,
but I'm thinking it's time
for a security upgrade.
Drago: Raaahh!
Surrounded!
Outnumbered!
Maybe I shouldn't have
gone solo.
But I will not repeat
your mistakes, father!
I will find the biggest,
baddest henchmen in the world
and fulfill my destiny.
(Jade yawns)
Jade: (Gasp)
It's my birthday! Yes!
(Loud yawn)
OhThere you are!
What's everybody doing?
Black: Is the chi
containment unit stable?
Uncle chan: You want
demon chi kept safe? Yes?
Then let uncle work
without lookie-loos!
Jade: Hello! Anybody wanna
say something?
Tohru: Good morning, Jade.
Jade: Is thatAll?
don't you know
what today is?
Uncle: Hot cha!
Very important day!
Day for uncle's hair cut!
Jade: Aw, come on!
You know it's my birthday.
Now, for breakfast, I want
chocolate chip pancakes
with whipped cream
and strawberries and--
Jackie: I'm sorry, Jade.
Things are a little busy
around section 13
this morning.
We will have to celebrate
your birthday later.
Jade: What?! How much later?
Jackie: Ehh
Just be patient.
Jade: Oh
Drago, quietly: Next.
(Whipping sounds)
Next.
Next!
Punchy: Duh! Get away!
Get away!
Drago: Raaah!
You are all pathetic!
I'm looking for henchmen--
bone-crushing,
skull-caving henchmen!
I can't believe I'm gonna
say this out loud, but
I never should have
fired the enforcers.
Strikemaster ice: Yo, dude.
You seen the rest.
Now eyeball the best!
Punchy: Duh!
Henchman: Uhh!
(Buzz)
(Smash)
Strikemaster ice:
So we got the gig or what?
Drago: What's your name?
Strikemaster ice:
They call me strikemaster ice.
This here's my crew--
dj fist,
and mc cobra.
Yo, gecko-boy be buggin'!
Drago: It's near.
Let's go.
Strikemaster ice:
Yo, hold up, dog.
Now, we don't work
for free.
You want our services,
you gots to show some green!
Yizzle!
Drago: You each now
have a small piece of
my fire demon power--
dragon speed
Dragon strength
And dragon breath.
Strikemaster ice:
That'll work!
Drago: You're on the clock now
and we have demon chi
to claim.
Uncle: The containment
unit is unharmed.
Demon chi cannot escape.
Black: I'm installing
heat and motion sensors
to make sure our
fire-breathing friend
can't pay another visit.
Jade: All right, then.
Let's get Jade's birthday
train back on track.
HmmWhat's first,
lunch at pizza burger?
Or maybe I should
open my presents!
Tohru: (Giggles)
I love birthdays.
Uncle: Aiyaa! Demon chi
has been activated!
Jade: No way.
Not on my birthday!
Uncle: Dai gui,
the earth demon.
Tohru: The flower
of the immortals.
The demon chi
is trapped within.
Jackie: The coronado bridge
in San Diego!
I am sorry, Jade.
Your birthday celebration
will have to wait just
a little longer.
Jade: That's ok. We can
party in San Diego!
Jackie: Uh
It's too dangerous.
You will stay here.
Jade: That's not right.
You can't dis
the birthday girl.
Uncle: Demon chi
is very close.
Jackie: Then all we
have to do is find the
Flower.
Jade: Hey, Jackie!
Jackie: Aah!
Uncle: Demon chi
is in this room.
Florist: Ahem!
May I help you?
Jackie: Uh, it's a
flower freshness detector.
My uncle is very picky.
Drago: So am I.
I want a flower that
smells like demon chi.
(All gasp)
Tohru: Drago.
Jackie: And
Strikemaster ice?
Jade: Hey, pizza-face
got a drago makeover!
Strikemaster ice: Yo dog,
you didn't say nothin' about
puttin' the hurt on chan.
First day on the job
and we're already
gettin' a bonus.
(Attack cries
and grunting)
Drago: Chi loves me
Chi loves me not.
Jade: (Gasps)
Hurry, uncle!
Jackie: Uhh!
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
start pickin' out flowers,
chan, for your funer--
ah-ah-ah-choo!
Jackie: Bless you?
Strikemaster ice:
Ah-choo!
Whoo! Ah-choo!
Ah-choo!
Jackie:
You must be allergic.
Strikemaster ice:
Ah-choo!
Jackie: Bless you.
(Flower pots crashing)
Jackie: Bless you.
Strikemaster ice:
Ah-choo!
Uncle: No, no.
Strikemaster ice:
Ah-choo!
Uncle: NoNo
Uncle: Hot cha!
Drago: For me?
You shouldn't have.
Jade: Hee-yah!
I picked this for you.
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Tohru: Uhh!
Strikemaster ice: Ah--
uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Drago: No!
Uhh!
Florist: My hydrangeas!
Uncle: Jackie,
pay nice man.
Jade: Now that we have
the flower power,
it's time to party down!
I'm still the birthday
girl for 10 more hours.
Jackie: We'll be
back home in time for
a big birthday dinner.
Uncle: Aiyaa!
Jackie: Huh?
Jade: Oh, no!
Uncle: Moon demon tso LAN?
Lotus pod?
One more chi is nearby!
Turn car around!
Tohru: 2 demon chi powers
on the same day?
Jade: Figures.
Tohru: I'm sorry, Jade.
You know we
would all prefer to
celebrate your birthday.
Jade: (Sighs) Whatever.
Drago: Was that
a joke back there?
Did I hire clowns?
I give you powers beyond
your wildest imagination
and you amateurs can't
get past an archaeologist,
a tub of guts, an old man,
and a little girl?!
Strikemaster ice:
Yo, he's buggin' again!
Drago: You three
are about to get
a second chance.
Tohru: I know it isn't
much, but happy birthday.
Jade: Oh, thanks, t.
Uncle: Moon
demon chi is there!
(Drago growls and Jackie,
Jade, uncle, and tohru gasp)
Jackie: Jade, stay here.
Jade: Oh!
Drago: Smells like
chi spirit.
Jade: Step away
from the lotus pod!
Jackie: Jade!
Jade: I'm your backup,
remember?
Tohru: The demon chi
stays. You go.
Drago: We'll see
about that.
What? It was here
a second ago.
Uncle: Moon demon chi--
control over gravity.
(Drago snarls)
Jade: Uncle, let's
bring the "floater"
back down to earth.
Tohru: Uhh!
Uhh!
Ooh!
Jade: Hey, boy,
come over here!
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Jade: Mmm! Cotton candy!
Yummy in your tummy!
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee--
Jade: No hitchhiking!
Drago: I'll come back
for you later.
Jackie: Whoooooa!
Uhh!
Tohru: UhWhoops.
Jackie: Which way
did they go?
Bwaa!
Bad day, bad day, bad day!
Bad day, bad day, bad day!
Bad day, bad--bad day!
Jade: Uncle!
Uncle: Leave
Chinese Bear alone!
(Fist, cobra, ice,
and drago scream)
(Seals clapping)
Jackie: Nice panda,
come to--
wh-whooaaa!
Jade: Jackie!
Jackie: Whooaaa--oof!
Good catch, tohru.
Jade: Step on it, t!
Jackie: don't worry,
we'll bring it back
later! Thank you!
Jade: Whoa! The panda's
going all moony.
Uncle: Panda will
return to normal once
the demon chi is removed.
Jade: Hey, boy, trade ya!
Cotton candy for that
yucky demon chi!
Uncle and tohru: Yu-mo-
gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-
fie-Dee-tsao.
Jade: Yes! And now
it's time for Jade's
birthday bash!
Uncle: Uncle was
afraid of this.
Tohru: Sensei?
Uncle: Chi-o-matic
can only hold
one power at a time!
Drago: Fore!
Now that is some
serious hang time!
Uncle: Jackie!
Drago must not obtain
earth demon chi!
You must become
living vessel.
Jade: Ooh! Ooh! Let me
be the living vessel!
I can handle it.
I have experience.
Come on,
it's my birthday!
Drago: It's
a 2-for-1 special.
Noooooo!
Jackie: Ooh, tingly.
Uncle: Jackie! Do not
let drago touch you!
He will try to drain
demon chi!
Drago: Oh, I won't just
touch you, chan.
I'll rip you apart!
Jackie: Did I do that?
Uncle: Of course!
Why do you think it is
called earth demon chi?
Jade: You dine with the t,
you get a helping of the j.
Strikemaster ice:
Yo, shortstop,
why don't you let
the grown-ups handle
this, a-ight?
Jade: Afraid I'll whoop
your butts again?
Strikemaster ice:
You got the crust,
little lady.
Let's see if you
got the sauce.
Whoa!
Drago: Hey, chanCatch!
(Jackie coughs)
Jackie: Uncle! Have you
fixed the chi-o-matic?
Uncle: Do not rush uncle!
Drago: Fire in the hole!
Jackie: Aah!
Drago: All that digging
must have made you
thirsty, chan.
How about a little juice?
Tingly.
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Drago: No!
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-
fie-Dee-tsao.
(Rumbling and crackling)
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
ice gonna bring the heat!
Jade: And this is for
ruining my birthday!
Hee-yah!
Come on, yin-Yang,
let's get you home.
(Footsteps)
Strikemaster ice:
Yo, d, a little hizzle?
(Drago roars)
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue-
guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-
fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-fie-
Dee-tsao.
Black: 4 down, 4 to go.
Jackie: And someone is
still the birthday girl
for 4 more minutes.
(Jade snoring)
Jackie: Shh.
She is sleeping.
Jade: Hey Jackie, is there
a yin and Yang to your
personality?
Jackie: Yin-Yang. I think
everybody have a yin-Yang.
Yin-Yang. Sometimes
I feel I'm very strong,
but sometimes I do feel
I'm very weak.
In my body, the Yang always
want to beat the ying.
Sometimes when
I'm doing a stunt,
this side tell me,
"dangerous,"
but another side tell me,
"no, you can do it."
So, this way, I do
have a yin-Yang, yes.