Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators (2018) s05e03 Episode Script

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Hey, get away from our desk.
Have you paid this?
Hm?
You see, this is why
I got you an in-tray.
Things you haven't
dealt with yet go here.
Oh, is that what that's for?
Anyway, that's Sebastian's job.
Not if it's not in my in-tray.
What's this?
You are invited to
the scene of the crime.
Hey, give me that.
Who's Olivia?
Dear Frank, Olivia is
desperate, underlined, to see you.
Olivia Bluebell who
went to school together.
Olivia Olivia Bluebell,
casting director for the RSC?
I don't know.
I mean, she liked drama and that.
She was Juliet in the six-form play.
I fell asleep.
She left me for Bill
White shortly after that.
The invite's from him.
He's organizing some sort of
murder mystery-themed reunion,
you know, costumes
and that sort of stuff.
Oh, Frank, your first love.
And she's desperate to see you.
I bumped into her in the street a
couple of weeks ago, you know.
She did seem a bit, um
What?
Nervous?
No.
A bit excited?
Billious.
Yeah. I mean, her and Billy have been
together for years.
I'm surprised he invited me.
He's always hated me.
Maybe he's mellowed in his old age.
Old?
He's the same age as me.
Sorry, not to make this all about me,
but I have been trying to get a meeting
with Olivia Bluebell for quite some time.
Well, we will drive you then,
because it's in the middle of nowhere.
I could learn the
monologue, just in case.
I'm going to stop you right there.
I am not going.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
Oh!
I look daft.
Not bad for a 1920s
policeman, on a day's notice.
Yeah, and it's a good thing
if you make her laugh, right?
They must be stinking rich.
Oh, yeah.
Bill invented the world's
first unblockable toilet.
I've always wanted one of those,
but they're a bit pricey on the day.
You two should eat more fiber.
The crisps count.
Nice car.
Oh.
That's Paul Belch.
He was Bill's sidekick at school.
Where's his costume?
Are you a bit nervous?
You know neither of
you two are invited, right?
Yeah.
Well, we'll walk you to the door.
Why don't you walk me to
the Mucky Mallard instead?
[GASPS] Is that Olivia?
Wow.
Let's go.
Told you, no costumes.
Bill says he dares you to wear it.
You know how he hates Ronning Lake.
Come on.
Oh, Frank.
I didn't know you were coming.
Me neither.
I mean, me too.
- I'll just go wash up.
- No.
Hello.
I'm Lou.
- I'm Frank's
- Olivia.
I'm so sorry. How rude of me.
No, no. And this is Sebastian Brudenell.
Well, how nice to meet you both.
Come on in.
I'm sure we can find
an extra couple of parts.
Really? Oh. Oh, OK. OK, then.
Come on in.
Yes.
Um, bags and coats there.
You'll have to hand over
your phones and car keys.
Bill is paranoid about people cheating.
Really?
Don't worry.
It's not that kind of party.
Oh.
[LAUGHTER]
Look at your truncheon.
OK.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, you always could make me laugh.
You look, um, beautiful.
You're lovely, lovely, really.
Oh, it's Bill's idea.
You know, I wanted to say something
when we bumped into each other.
Maybe later.
At your service, ma'am.
Well, let me take you through.
Oh, please, at your service.
Pull yourselves together.
Oh.
All this over some toilets?
It's only a game, Hannah.
I need some air.
Isn't that the politician,
Hannah Blumley?
Frank, glad you could make it.
And who are these?
Frank's wife and son
came, isn't that nice?
No, he's not my wife.
He's not my son.
In fact, I mean, am I old enough?
Would that work? I don't think so.
I'm I'm I'm Lou.
I'm Frank's business partner.
And I'm also the
designated driver tonight.
So, yeah, so Frank is very single.
I mean, single, just
well, normal single, yeah.
And you're also a PI, are you?
I'm a rather trained actor.
And I also work for them occasionally.
Sebastian is a wonderful actor.
I think, actually, he's going
to be amazing at your game.
I think you're going
to be really impressed.
Well, an entire PI firm turned
up at my murder mystery party.
I suppose I should be flattered.
But I don't have parts for you two.
I told them that we'd make it work.
I told them about your rule.
Come on, let me get you some costumes.
Oh, he loves costumes.
So, uh, where's the rest
of the sixth form, then?
Eugene's on his way.
Eugene Bottom?
From bottom to top,
lawyer, would you believe it?
He's been helping me with my will.
We should have a quiet word.
I'll be honest.
I'm the one who was desperate to see you.
I used Olivia as bait.
Why?
Let's just say, you'll be
doing me a favour if you just
keep an eye on her tonight
in your professional capacity.
I'm sorry, Bill.
I don't really feel
comfortable with that.
I can recommend somebody else.
Yeah.
Your scruples do you credit.
[COUGHS]
Ah, see?
Never kicked the habit I
started on the music block roof.
- [CHUCKLES]
- [bell-ringing]
That'll be Eugene.
Eugene, you remember Frank?
Of course.
How are you?
- Well, you come as a
- A pimp.
Oh.
Eugene Bottom.
Frank Hathaway.
I didn't realise this was a
party for losers and hangers-on.
Oh.
You still afraid of heights, Bottom?
Come on, Paul, play nice.
Fill the bottle up, Belch.
I'll have a drink.
Yes, you can serve us
all a drink in a moment.
First, the keys, please,
that you may have.
Mobile phone, I thank you.
There you go.
Would you show them through
to the drawing room, darling?
Of course.
Isn't that good that we're all together?
It's been so long.
Have you seen the powder?
I know.
This is not a reunion.
It's a job.
Bill wants me to watch Olivia.
Really? Well, what did you say?
No.
I don't want to get involved
in their marital disputes.
Soon as dinner's
finished, we're out of here.
What about me?
Olivia Bluebell is one of
the most powerful women
in British theatre.
Well, don't worry.
You've still got plenty
of time to impress her.
She's not given me much to work with.
What are you?
An ant?
No, he's a pilot.
An explorer.
Sorry.
Sorry, I just need some
time to work on my back story.
[bell-chiming]
Oh.
Dinner is served.
I hope you're all ready for this.
Five minutes behind schedule.
Come along, everyone.
Chop, chop, chop, chop.
Frank, Paul, Eugene, you remember Hannah.
Long time no see.
Too fancy for us, are you?
For you, Eugene.
I hear about you in the news sometimes.
I don't get as much coverage as I should.
Oh, really?
I feel like I see you everywhere.
Oh, sorry, I'm Lou.
I'm Frank's
I'm the maid.
Not his maid.
He's single.
So, gazpacho.
It's been a favourite of
mine since our honeymoon
and Olivia kindly agreed
to make it for us tonight.
It's not really 1920s, of
course, but it is blood red.
Well, let's just hope you eat it tonight.
What?
He's been on a diet lately.
In preparation for the next
lovely lady to come along.
Lucky girl.
It's cold.
Yeah, it's gazpacho.
Yeah, it's cold.
Because it's gazpacho.
Or cold.
Cold soup.
Posh people do it.
I had to wrestle them snakes.
It was the only way.
Oh, flight commander, Captain
Bicklesworth, reporting for duty.
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.
Monsieur, I have seen some things.
Perfect.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
A unique prize for the best detective.
Ah, it is 24-carat gold.
A repurposed anniversary
present, actually.
I thought it was perfect, given that our
relationship's been going down the pan.
Even I can tell that's a bad taste.
Yeah, just a bit.
Mind you, if it is a real
copy worth a fortune.
Oh, look.
Frank Hathaway.
Forget not that I am an ass.
Uh, uh, it's Dockberry from "Much Ado."
He's a sort of useless copper.
Ah, that's good.
But for the game, it's good.
Cha-cha-cha-cha.
No cheating.
Leave that now and
pour some wine, please.
There's a good chap.
So now that we are all finally
here, we can commence.
At 19:10 hours, in the drawing
room, my pocket watch was stolen.
Stolen?
I thought this was a
murder mystery party.
Ah, there are more twists in store.
But for now, there
is a thief in our midst.
Nervous, are we?
Yep, that's it.
Oh, well, well, it couldn't have been
me, because I was with you before dinner.
In your professional
capacity as a lady of the night?
Yeah, well, yes.
Lucky boy, eh?
And you can corroborate that, can you?
Oh, um, I'll, um, try it,
um, oh, it's, uh, yeah, yeah.
- That's it.
- Yeah.
Yeah, Eugene, your alibi.
I, bottom the pimp, was collecting
payment from Officer Hathaway.
I then went to try and organize
my client, Miss Bluebell's next trick.
Mm, it wasn't me.
I don't think even paying you
would help, would it, darling?
Bill's the most awkward
in a party so far.
Ah, Hannah!
Well, I didn't do it.
I know, because I read ahead.
But your moment will come.
All a bit tense, isn't it?
You got something to say, dear?
Me? No.
No, it's just lovely, lovely water.
Your alibi?
Oh, my alibi, it's, um, well, I haven't
got a so, uh, I'm just a lowly maid.
I was a milk in a cow, about 10 past 7.
I don't know.
Paul.
Very filling glasses all night.
Ah, now, I think an excellent
opportunity to steal a pocket watch.
Shall we vote?
Oh, uh, no, Monsieur,
you forget me at your Paris.
Yes, well, I think, uh,
it's running a bit late now.
And we all know that
you've just come back from
Indeed, I have just returned
from my incroyable exploits
flying over all the
continents of the world.
However, nothing could have prepared me
for what I noticed on my
way to the dining room.
You have said there is a thief among us.
But what is this if not evidence
of a much darker crime?
What that is is my handkerchief.
I had a nosebleed.
What, another one?
Yes.
Right.
Let's vote.
I'm really sorry.
It's honestly nothing personal.
- Paul.
- No.
It's just that I think you
had, like, the opportunity.
I'm too, yes.
Didn't you say there'd be,
you know, another twist?
Paul, come on.
Really?
It's not my fault you
got a stupid name, is it?
Right, Frank.
It's always the person
you expect the least.
Huh?
Oh.
So I sold my own pocket watch.
Very good.
All right.
Paul, you got the most votes.
So stand up. Turn to page four.
[SNIFFS]
I confess, I'm the thief.
[CHEERING]
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, yes, absolutely.
Well done, lads.
Bill, have some water.
[COUGHS]
[LAUGHTER]
[COUGHS]
[LAUGHTER]
[COUGHS]
[COUGHS] Just stop.
[COUGHS]
Whatever the personal cost.
[COUGHS]
[LAUGHTER] Oh, so good.
[CHEERING]
[APPLAUSE]
It's a thing that I'm the one in
theatre and he's in plumbing.
[LAUGHTER]
I mean, OK, you can start milking it now.
See, that's the thing with amateurs.
They never know when to stop.
There's a difference in Bill.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, are you [GROANING]
[WHISPERING]
I think there's a twist.
There's a little twist.
[LAUGHTER]
You can't trust that.
[INTERPOSING VOICES] No, you can't.
[MUSIC PLAYING] He he's dead.
[THUNDER]
[GASPS]
Is he, though?
[GROANING]
[THUNDER]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
He is, yes.
Dear God.
We need to call an ambulance.
I told Billy it was over doing it.
That line's not working.
I think it's the storm.
Awful house.
I never wanted to move here.
Of course, Bill loved it.
It was perfect for all his games.
Get justice done.
He was playing with us to the end.
Are you sure you don't
know the code to the safe?
No.
He always kept it secret.
It's all part of his thing.
He even made us put our phones in there
because he thought it was only fair.
Should we get you a little brandy?
Does it have to be little?
No.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi, Eugene.
Bill mentioned you were
helping him with his will.
He reached out to me a few months ago.
Anything I should know about it?
You know, anything unusual?
Eugene?
He said he was worried he might die soon.
OK.
Never mind an ambulance.
I've got to look at the board of
directors now that Bill is dead.
He's not even cold, and
you're thinking about that?
White Pumps and Plumbing is one
of the biggest companies in Stratford.
Bill would have wanted a smooth handover.
What, to you?
Yes.
He should have given
me the company years ago.
Oh, you can dry your crocodile tears.
Desperate for a divorce.
We need to talk.
I don't think Bill died
of natural causes.
I think he was murdered.
So what are we going to do?
We're in the middle of nowhere.
Well, I hate to say it,
but if there has been
foul play, it doesn't
look great for Olivia.
Why?
Well, Bill says he doesn't
trust her, and then he dies.
And the last thing he
says is he wants you to
get justice done,
whatever the personal cost.
Just because Bill was worried about
Olivia doesn't mean he was right.
Yeah, and she just seemed
genuinely upset and shocked,
which is more than I
could say for some of them.
I mean, if he was poisoned,
it could have been anyone.
Paul.
It can't have been the wine because he
poured it for all of
us, including himself.
- Might have been the soup.
- Gazpacho.
Bless you.
I had a whole bowl of it.
I didn't even like it.
And now, actually, I
don't think I feel very well.
Look, calm down.
The bowls were pre-served.
Any sensible killer
would put it straight into
Bill's bowl and then dispose
of whatever they used.
Yeah.
Any clues on the potty?
No, some things don't leave a trace.
Listen, we need to
keep this to ourselves.
We don't want to spread panic.
What are you, um
How dare you keep this from us!
Bill was murdered.
One of us is a killer.
Poison soup.
I need my pills.
Look, if we all stick
together, she'll be safe.
Hank, the, um
Shall I get rid of that?
Yeah, and any other weapons you can find.
I'm a respected politician.
I can't afford to be caught up in
some scandal about a murder.
Bill died of a heart attack.
He learned his murder
mystery stuff got to your head.
It's true.
I mean, what evidence do you have?
We're just being cautious.
I, uh, I need to use the toilet.
Hang on.
It's an emergency.
Hello?
Go on, ask her.
It's going quiet.
Just go on.
All right.
Yeah.
So
You and Bill were
getting a divorce, yeah?
Well, we've been unhappy for years, but
that doesn't mean to say I killed him.
No.
No
So how was it, Bottom?
Was it?
Oh
It's fine.
If you really think it was a murder,
Frankie boy, you should ask your ex.
I mean, Bill didn't really
want to get rid of us.
Plus, who made the soup, hmm?
What about you?
There must be a reason Bill
made you the thief in the game.
He's been embezzling money
from the company for years.
Where's your proof?
In Bill's last will and testament,
ready to go to the board
in the event of his death.
Bill made millions out of my designs.
Millions.
He kept me on a miserable salary.
The unblockable toilet? On me.
Toilets are all you ever think about.
That's right.
Ever since you lot used
to shove my face in one.
That's right.
Where's Hannah?
I'll go and find her.
Must have been tough, being
in Bill's shadow all these years.
We all were.
The rest of us moved on, Paul.
Is that so?
Have you moved on from this?
Stop it! Stop it! What did you do?
Give that back.
Is that from when Bill pushed
you off your music block roof?
Candlestick now.
Lid pointing.
Spanner.
Rope.
Oh, come on.
Come on.
Ahem.
Do you know, I don't think
Bill was murdered at all.
I think your Frankie boy there's
got the wrong end of his truncheon.
Hey, you know, he only became
a PI because he was fired.
I wasn't fired. I retired. I was admired.
I've looked everywhere.
Even the billiard room.
There's a billiard
room, but I can't find it.
Look who I found trying
to break into the safe.
Well, we're like fish in a barrel here.
Somebody's got to go for help.
Oh, Hannah, you just
want to save your own skin.
What are you saying, Eugene?
Because I would be
very careful if I were you.
The only person we
know is a criminal is Paul.
And you would say that Bill wasn't
murdered if you'd murdered him.
Do you want me to prove that?
- No.
- Yes.
Is that what I think it is?
Yep.
That's the end of Bill's soup.
See, this is why you should
have put me in charge.
Cos I get things done.
- Are you OK?
- You, sir. You're an idiot.
And, yeah, I'm fine.
I mean, that was
disgusting, but I'm fine.
Oh, no!
May I mince the belt?
No, I think his pulse is irregular.
- We need to get to hospital.
- I'll check the landline.
Clear.
What are you?
No, I think it actually worked.
- What's happening?
- You see? See!
There was definitely
something in the soup.
- What are you doing?
- It's worth a try.
It's still dead.
The landline. Not you.
Oh, good.
Right, this is an active crime scene.
We need to get out of here
and stay out of here. Come on.
- Come on.
- Come on, mate.
It's all right. Come on.
Come on. OK.
To this boy. He's either
really stupid or really clever.
Wow, that's so stupid.
Mind you, he did invent that toilet.
Will you stop fiddling
with your truncheon?
- I'm desperate for a wee.
- Then go.
Look
someone in here is a poisoner.
I'm starving. You ate the soup.
- Go on.
- Where's Sebastian?
I think it's gonna be all right.
Hannah's character
pack. She tore a page out.
Ooh, a confession?
There was supposed to be
another twist later on. Well, a murder.
- Bill?
- No, Eugene.
I confess to pushing Eugene
Bottom down the stairs.
- What if it was Hannah and not Bill?
- What?
When we were at college,
Eugene was pushed off
the roof of the music block.
Bill, Paul and Hannah
used to hang out up there.
Eugene went up there one day,
maybe because Bill dared him.
Either way, down he came.
Landed on the bike
rack, was almost impaled.
He always thought Bill had pushed
him, but there was never any proof.
Bill never denied it, though.
Do you remember when we came in,
Bill and Hannah were having that route?
Maybe it was about that.
Maybe she was worried Bill
was gonna let everybody
know what had happened.
If she did do it, that would
give her a clear motive.
What about the other character packs?
Is there anything of interest?
Not that I can see.
I think we should go and talk to Hannah.
I just didn't want to play the
murderer in the game, that's all.
But what about the
argument you were having
with Bill earlier?
Something about toilets?
Public toilets are a
waste of taxpayers' money.
People can use the pub, you
know, spend a literal penny.
- It's good for business.
- Bill's business.
White pumps and plumbing
service Stratford's public toilets.
And if they follow my plan,
well, they'll lose the contract.
So you two had toilet trouble?
It wasn't worth trying
to ruin my career over.
Were you being blackmailed?
Oh, Bill's dares.
I would never even have thought
to push Eugene if it wasn't for him.
And then to hold it over
me all these years later.
But I did not poison him.
I mean, murder's hardly
good as a vote winner, is it?
I did see something, though.
All right. Don't crowd me.
Earlier, when I was
looking for my handbag,
I heard something in the kitchen.
I assumed everyone
was in the drawing room.
So I looked in and saw Eugene
frantically searching for something.
He found whatever it was,
put it in his pocket and left.
I thought I heard a noise
when I was in the kitchen.
He must have slipped in after I left.
You see, Eugene doesn't know that it
was me who pushed him off the roof.
And if he wants revenge
Revenge?
I'll give you revenge!
Oh, Eugene, I'm so sorry.
OK. Let's all go and sit quietly
in the drawing room, shall we?
We just want to know what
you were doing in the kitchen.
It's a simple question.
She's the one who should
be answering the questions.
Come clean, Bottom. You killed Bill.
Of course he did.
You don't believe that, do you?
I forgot about that truncheon.
You won't believe me, but
I felt someone attack me.
I grabbed the first thing I could.
So you were claiming self-defence?
I, erm Sorry, I just Oh, I,
erm I tripped over that bit of carpet.
Yes, I think you hit me on your way down.
- Yeah, I think you probably hit me too.
- Sorry.
I just screamed because
everybody else screamed.
Well, it still doesn't explain what
YOU were doing in the kitchen, though.
It wasn't me.
I think I know what's been going on.
Team meeting. Now.
Sebastian, you keep an eye on this lot.
What about team meeting? I mean
No, sorry.
THEME MUSIC
What if Eugene is covering for someone?
I really feel like there's something
going on with him and Olivia.
Like what?
I don't know, just little
words and glances.
Words and glances are
inadmissible in a court of law.
We're not in a court of law?
And if Bill wouldn't grant her
a divorce, then maybe she
I just think we need to speak to Olivia.
Oh, oops, sorry.
Olivia, may I have a little
word, maybe in the library?
She's got nothing to say to you.
OK, maybe she could tell me that herself.
No.
This is what I was doing in the kitchen.
I was getting these.
For me. I mislaid them. Eugene saw I was
struggling, and he found
them for me. That's all.
Mind if I take a look?
Of course.
Thanks.
Diagomenity.
Fatal in overdose. This is empty.
Looks like we found our murder weapon.
Question is, which one of you did it?
I confess everything.
After what you've been
through, nobody can blame you.
I'm amazed you didn't do it years ago.
When you said you needed your pills, I
thought you wanted me to cover up for you.
I just couldn't find them.
You both thought the other one did it.
You were covering for each other.
But why?
Cos they're in love, Frank.
What? It's a bit of a leap.
She's right.
We are.
You could see how
unhappy I was with Bill.
- We didn't mean anything to happen, but
- Bill knew you were having an affair?
He suspected, yes, but
he thought it was with you.
Saw us in town, but two
and two together made five.
So that's why there was all that
stuff in the game about, you know
I didn't know he'd invited you.
Otherwise, I would have warned you.
Yeah, we must be missing something.
I can't think of an empty
stomach or a full bladder.
Why don't you go and
try out that famous flush?
Yeah.
Hopefully it makes him feel better.
Yeah.
Keeler! What the hell are you
doing trying to fright me today?
Seemed a bit jumpy, actually.
You would be too if you were
stuck in the house with a dead body.
Bill White.
Oh, do you know? Why are you here anyway?
Anonymous tip-off. Wouldn't
normally follow it, but in this case
Take me to the body, please.
This looks bad, Frank.
- Very bad.
- Does it?
I mean, I know it does, but
why do you think it does?
I received this at 2100 hours.
I came straight away, as instructed,
and here, just as I was
warned, is Bill White.
Dead. Murdered by his love rival.
- You what?
- Frank Hathaway.
That's nonsense.
Who did it, then?
Odds are the person
that sent you this note.
They're probably sitting in
the drawing room right now.
Oh, Keeler, thank goodness!
Oh, don't get too excited.
He thinks I've killed Bill.
You what?
Olivia Bluebell.
DS Keeler.
You wanted Bill gone, so you and Frank
could carry on your love affair, correct?
What? No.
I bumped into Frank.
We hadn't seen each other for years.
So I gave him a hug.
That's all it was.
You sure about that?
OK, I I was thinking of asking
him to dig up some dirt on Bill
so I could get a divorce,
but I didn't in the end.
I haven't thought about
Frank in that way for years.
I'm with Eugene.
I'm her lover.
That does make more sense.
But Frank didn't know that.
You strung him along.
Made him do all the dirty work for you.
He was really gutted when she left him.
Cried all over his school dinners.
Uh, Joe, I didn't do it.
Well, in that case, you won't
mind if I search you, then.
Oh, easy, Tiger.
Tiger Menardine.
Wait, isn't that the same
stuff that was in Bill's suit?
No, listen, don't you do anything stupid.
Frank Hathaway, I'm arresting
you on suspicion of murder.
Backup should be here any minute.
You know this is ridiculous.
You know, I always knew you
were going to mess up, Frank.
But I must admit, I never
thought it'd be murder.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, indeed.
You'd better get yourself
a very good lawyer.
- Call yourself a Shakespeare scholar.
- What?
It's always the person you least expect.
Delaying tactics.
All right, thank you,
Mr. Hairylip, give me a chance.
Right, from the pack.
"Welcome, destruction,
blood and massacre.
"I see, as in a map, the end of all."
From the note that Keeler received.
"Bill White is in danger."
"The end of all his
hopes of his life is coming."
The end of all.
These were written by the same person.
Shakespeare?
No, not just the
phrase, "The end of all".
What if Bill wasn't murdered?
What if he killed himself?
He wouldn't do that.
Never.
But if he was going to die anyway.
Exactly.
The smoker's cough.
Bloody handkerchief.
And you said he'd been
losing weight recently.
Yes, that's true.
He designed the game so that
we'd be at each other's throats.
You'd be exposed as a thief
and you'd have to confess to
Eugene putting your career at risk.
But he didn't live to see any of that.
Yeah, the story's fallen apart, Frank.
Bill died before he expected to.
In Romeo and Juliet,
Romeo has time after he takes
the poison to do a whole speech,
but Bill can't have
had even a whole dose
because there was still enough
Gazpatcho for you to have some.
And you only fainted.
- But if he was already ill
- He misjudged the dose.
Doesn't explain why you
had the pills in your pocket.
Maybe they were planted.
In the library.
When he asked me to
keep an eye on Olivia,
he could have slipped
them easily into my pocket.
If we had been having an affair,
well, the plan would have been genius.
What plan?
First, destruction.
The game.
Secrets are revealed.
Second, blood.
That disgusting tomato soup.
Third, massacre.
Bill's death.
Olivia's in the frame.
You turn up, now I'm in the frame.
If only he'd talked to me.
He always had to be in control.
Even after his death.
He wanted to break you all.
That's why he took our keys and phones
off us, locked them away, trapped us here.
No, this is all just circumstantial.
Not when you see they've both
been written on the same typewriter.
Bill's typewriter.
The one with the wonky 'E'.
He got the keys.
- SIREN WAILS.
- Thy drugs are quick.
Thus, with a kiss
I die.
That actually was really good.
I mean, no, bravo, that was brilliant.
I wish I could help you, but
I'm going back to acting myself.
Bill made me stop, but I hope to
see you at an audition or something.
Don't give up. Good work.
I've had enough of you
causing trouble, Frank.
Causing trouble?
All I did was give her a hug.
Well, now there's a man dead, and I've
got to question somebody about theft.
Maybe he's not too hard on Paul.
I was wanting him to invent
an unsplashable toilet seat.
Olivia's leaving casting.
I know.
We heard. I'm sorry.
You know, I don't think Bill
was as clever as he thought.
Yeah, he is not, cos massacre
means several people, not just one.
Yes.
Anne, ye misunderstood
that Dogberry quote.
Forget not that I am an ass.
Mm.
Dogberry's not really a useless copper.
He saves the day in the end.
Oh.
Shall we?
Oh.
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