Brassic (2019) s05e04 Episode Script
Sweet Sixteen
1
This programme contains
very strong language
from the outset and throughout.
# PULP: Babies
Just be careful, she
Watch yourself, it's hot.
Just be quiet.
Don't give it away, mate.
She's gonna love it.
Bit on the side there.
OK.
Have you got a lighter?
That's it, Ronnie.
Right.
Sshh.
Sshh.
Hang on.
Come in.
BOTH: # Happy Birthday to you
# Happy Birthday to you
Is that a fucking pork pie?
Birthday digs!
Fuck off, dickhead!
MAN: Neil!
Neil fucking Croft!
Where's our fucking money?
Fuck! Erin, fetch your wages.
Dad! Not again.
I'll pay you back, I swear.
I'm opening a new leaf. I just
I need to get a few things sorted.
Where is our fucking money, Neil?
Dad
Stay in there. Look after her.
MAN: Where's our fucking money,
Neil?
You said you'd have it!
Where the fuck is it?
Well, at least it's not
fucking pissing it down.
CAROL:
No, but it's an awful day for it.
Thanks for coming, everyone.
Especially you,
with what's going in on with JJ.
Oh, well, this is more important.
I have you a present.
Go on.
It's a chocolate mouse.
Adyan?
if you want to go to the pier,
just go.
Are you sure? You don't want me to,
you knowRight, just go.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Who does that? Who cadges a lift
with a funeral possession
to fuck off to a fun fair?
I must say, it's very unusual.
Come on, let's get this over with.
Come on. Let's mourn.
That'll be five pounds, please.
You what?
Five pounds.
Five pounds for fucking what?
To get in?
Are you having a giraffe?
Her dad's just fucking died.
It's to help pay off Neil's debts.
He owed a lot of people a lot of
money. "Bai-leafs" are after him.
I'm sorry.
Fuck's sake.
Unreal.Here.
Thanks.
Fucking hell.
You can have that, an' all.
CAROL: I'll pay for two.
ASHLEY: Charger.
Weed.
# BARRETT STRONG: Money
# The best things in life are free,
but you can give them to the #
CAROL: I want a fiver.
That was me last tenner.
I paid for you.
SUGAR: He'd be amazed if he saw you
now, Erin. I bet he missed you.
The only thing Neil Croft missed
was my fucking wages
after he fucked off.
Oh, where did you work?
A doughnut stall.
Oh.
When was the last
time you saw a jam doughnut?
I see 'em all time.
You can't have done
cos I think they're quite rare.
Hello.
Sorry,
is one of you Neil's daughter?
Yeah, I am. I am.
Great.
Emma.
Erin.
So, I'm looking for
his other daughter, erm, Emma.
Yeah, there's no Emma.
It's just me. It's Erin.
Well, if Emma's running late,
maybe you'd say
a few words about your dad.
Cos, obviously,
people have paid an entry fee.
I didn't really knew him that well.
So, I feel a bit uncomfortable,
like, going up.
Oh, we'll just muddle through, then,
won't we?
OK, everybody. Everyone, hello.
Thank you so much
for coming to say goodbye
to Neil Croft.
What can we say about- ?
Neil Croft?!
What? Not Arnold Waller?
No, this is Neil Croft's funeral.
Oh, for God's sake.
So, as I was saying,
on this devastating day
for the rest of us here,
it's wonderful that we've got
someone who knew him so very well.
We're gonna hear a few words
now from his beloved daughter, Emma.
Erin!
Go on, you can do itEmma.
Go on, Emma!
Go on, Emma.
Hello.
I'm Erin, I'm Neil Croft's daughter.
We didn't really keep in touch,
after he er
he fucked off
when I was just 16.
I do regret not staying in contact
with him.
Because then I'd be able
to tell him to his face
..what a shit show of a dad he was.
And I'd ask for my money
that he owed me.
Never gonna get that back now, am I?
And I could tell him what life
I've made for myself, for my son.
Despite the fact that he fucked off
and he was a shit dad,
I think that-
Heyyy!
Fucking hell.
Erin! Hold me!
Ronnie?
I'm broken up. I'm heart-broken.
Ronnie, please, don't do this now.
Oh, my chest, it breaks.
Erin
Everyone
have I missed the will?
Oi! Give us that "Dad" back now!
Fuck's sake.
Fuck!
Ronnie!
Who the fuck are all these?
This is yours. Yeah, OK, thank you.
Sorry. Emma, is it?
It's Erin!
Right, well, anyway, that man,
he said you'd pay his entry, so
I can stay.
It's just therapy session,
then I've got to go
and see what's going on with JJ.
No, you can't miss therapy.
And JJ hasn't seen anyone
for a few days, so..
Oh, and you need to pick Tyler up
from Jim's.Yeah, I do. Bollocks.
Christ, what does he see in
that crusty old turd of a babysitter?
I know.
Do you, though?
Er, send JJ my love, yeah?
I will do. I will do.
Shugs, Vinnie's gonna go see JJ.
Do you want him to pass on anything?
No.
No.No. It's a firm no.
Alright.See you later, love.
Erin Croft? Neil's daughter?
Jesus! Yeah, who's asking?
Your dad, Neil.
We were lovers.
Right?
He wanted me to give this to you,
if he didn't get the chance.
What are they?
The flat on Pier Avenue.
He wanted you to have it.
He wanted me to have the flat?
Oh, yeah.
I was there when he got it
all sorted with a lawyer.
He really did love you Erin.
Not in the way he loved me,
obviously
Obviously!
But he loved you all the same.
Cheerio, love.
Ha ha ha!
Shugs? Shugs!
I've got keys to my Dad's flat.
Oh, my God!
Go, go, go!
I've got keys to my Dad's flat.
My dad's flat! My dad's flat!
Can you believe it?
Oh, my God!
Oh, fuck it.
'It was my tenth birthday.
'I was excited.
'So, stupidly, I asked my Dad if he'd
got me a present. And he was drunk.
' He say's, "Yeah. Yeah, I do."
'Off we set, to go and pick it up.
'Walk over a couple of fields,
'and I can smell this fucking smell.
'It's getting closer and closer.
Like rot.
'Almost sweet-smelling.'
'Then we get to an abattoir.
'And it looks exactly how it sounds.'
'It's a bad word -
'"abattoir."
'Anyway,
so he tells me to close my eyes,
'and he walks me round the
back of the building,
'and when I open my eyes,
we're in this
'like a pit of all these off-cuts,
'fucking hooves and horns,
and shit like that.
'And he plunges his hands
in to all this fucking flesh,
' and find this bull's head
'covered in dry blood, and he hands
this fucking thing to me.
'That was it,
that was my birthday present.
'He walked me through Hawley.
'Everyone could see us.
'He had the head in his right hand.
'My hand in his left. Christ.
THERAPIST:
'How did that make you feel?'
'I just couldn't understand it.
'I was just too young for that.'
'What would like to say to that
child, holding your dad's hand?'
'I'd tell him not to end up like him.
'"Hold on to who you are.
'"And maybe next year get a fucking
bike, or summat." I don't know."'
Does it affect how you feel
about your birthday?
Yeah.
And I fucking hate it.
On a day when you're meant
to be happy.
You know.?
Could we cut the session a bit
shorter today, do you think?
Cos I've got a lot of shit going on.
My friend JJ's in the nick
and I'm worried about him, you know.
Well, you're already here.
It might not seem like progress
to you, but it is.
I think you should stay.
But it's alright for you to
reschedule whenever you fancy, in it?
You know, you've got me writing
fucking lists. I mean, Jesus Christ.
This thing, it's like a fucking
a-la-carte menu
of all my worst problems.
"Fear of abandonment, fear
of fucking change, loneliness."
Fucking I don't know what it's
supposed to do? Know what I mean?!
Well sometimes it's
good to contain things, to know
what's really bothering you.
I don't need fucking reminding
of all this bull shit. I just don't
see what it's meant to fucking
Do you know what? Bollocks, keep it.
I'm fucking it off.
Christ.
See you next week.
# LONGPIGS: She Said
Cocaine in the fucking garage?
You couldn't've talked to me
about it?
Do you think I knew
it was fucking there? Huh?
Do you think I would fucking risk
that?
Well, who the fuck's-It was fucking
Sarim. Your cousin Sarim?
I am innocent, alright?
I'll sort it, just leave it with me
I'll get you bail?
Oh, apparently I'm a risk in case
I "fly back home," which is
Hawley, by the way!
Bloody bunch of racists!
You can't fucking be here,
for something you haven't done.
I will not have it,
it's not fair, alright?
Mark my words, I swear,
as God is my judge,
I am gonna track that fucker down
like a bloodhound.
And he will be begging for mercy
by the time I'm finished wi' him.
Dah! Ah! Dude!
No. Put me down! Put me Come on!
Fucking put me the fuck down!
Ugh.
I mean, fuck's sake.
Told you I could do it.
I fucking believed you.!
Now, look, just Fuck me, dude,
I want you to own up!
To all this fucking shite
you've created! Eh?
Or at least help me break him out
of fucking jail, you sexy arsehole.
It was his own idea.
Oh
..shit!He said he needed
the extra cash for his kid,
and that he does this stuff all
the time, with you losers.
He fucking lied to you.
Fuck!
SUGAR: 'Oh, look at this.'
Oh, God.
Oh, jeez.
It stinks.
It's a bit musty.
There's my old bedroom.
Let me have a look in.
It hasn't changed.
Erin, it's big.
Oh, look at the wallpaper.
I know!
Look, you can see the sea front.
Oh, look, you can see the pier!
I know! I used to work on there!
Oh, God,
it's so weird being back here.
Still a shit hole.
Yes, but it's yours. I know it needs
a bit of a spring clean,
but I bet you this place is worth
a fucking fortune now.
Hello!
Oh, God.
Early signs of the fashionista
that was to emerge.
Oh, no, no, look. This is me
and our Ronnie's heights.
You know, you measure against
the wall, the heights?So cute.
Oh, my God.
My God.
Tyler would love this, wouldn't he?
Somewhere next to the sea.
Yeah!
And now you fucking do!
ALL: Yeah!
That's not a good
Erin Croft?
Yeah?
We brought you these.
Sorry to hear about your dad passing.
May we come in?
Sorry, have we met?
We're the Bai-leafs.
You don't look like bailiffs.
It's not "bai-liff."
It's "Bai-leaf."
Now, Erin.
Where's our money?
What money?
The money Neil Croft owes us.
Where is it?
You're his daughter, aren't you?
I don't know anything
about the fucking money.
I haven't seen
him for 15 fucking years.
See, your dear dad
said you would help.
Said you'd sort it for him
if he came to pass,
and look at that, he came to pass.
So now the debts yours.
Debt we want paid.
Ten grand.
Ten grand?
Ten grand?
No. You're having a laugh.
Ugh!
Now, Billy
Erin didn't mean to rude.
I'm sure she'll fetch our money now
from where every her pilfering
wet fish of a father-
I haven't got your fucking money!
Well, woman to woman I understand
how unreliable our men can be,
so there was always the possibility
you might not come up with it.
Billy's a gentleman.
He won't hurt you,
or your friends here.
But your brotherRonnie.
No-one would notice
if he went missing.
I don't know where he is, I haven't
seen him for, what, years?
Oh, Erin?!
I said, Erin!
You were saying?
You lying little twat!
Get him, Billy!
Ronnie!
Ugh!
Oh, no, not again! Ahh!
You gonna come through
for your old man?
I'm too old for this bullshit.
Do what you want with him.
Erin, Erin, my fingers!
Alright, alright, alright!
Fuck!
I'll get you your money.
Ten grand by tomorrow. And we'll keep
Ronnie with us until then.
What? Erin?
Teach him some manners.
Ugh! Erin?
Erin, does that?
Erin drop me a text or summat!
Take his fucking phone off him!
I'll get you on MySpace.
# ROBERT JOHNSON:
I'm A Steady Rollin' Man
Come on. Nearly there.
No!
No!
'Ey!
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Get here now.
What the fucking hells that?
Hiya, Dad! Is Mum back?
Never mind. Put it down!
Don't put it down, you'll spoil her!
What do you mean, "her?"
Is that a body bag!?
Well, how else am I supposed
to fucking steal 'em?
Are you stealing bodies
with my child?
It's a fucking scarecrow!
Jim thinks the crows are inviting
their friends to his field.
They fucking are!
So, for every crow I see,
another one of these goes in.
So I'd like to keep hold of Tyler
for a bit longer
to help with the formation.
Hell, no, dude,
you ain't borrowing my child
for any more of this bullshit!
What's up your arse, anyway?
Ears.
JJ has hidden fucking cocaine
in his garage.
Now he's looking at fucking jail
time. Can't even get the cunt bail.
You're alright.
I heard everything.Shut up!
Course you can get fucking bail.
Every person has the right to bail
before conviction.
It's a matter of law, Vinnie.
It's not a matter of opinion.
How the fuck do you know all that?
You are an actual lawyer?
It's from Guatemala.
Read a couple of books,
answer a couple of questions,
and that's it.
It's a piece of piss.
I can do dental work in Paraguay
and marry you in California.
Come here. Come here!
Get the fuck off! Vinnie!
Vinnie, fuck off!
Right, how the hell are
we gonna find ten grand by tomorrow?
We could knock over
a fish and chip shop maybe?
What and steal ten thousand battered
sausages? Have a bit of respect.
Where's Tommo?
Gone back to Hawley.
He had to go back to the Rat And
Cutter. He's got a stag do on.
Couldn't we all just go back
to Hawley?No, we can't go back.
They've got Ronnie. Imagine what
they'd do if we just fucked off.
And that's a deal breaker is it?
It's not a major loss.
We don't need-
Yes, Carol it's a deal breaker!
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up! Let me think!
Kick in the balls.
Oh, yeah!
Wahey!
Why have you got so many of these,
Erin?
I used to launder 'em for cash.
Right, you ready?
One, two, three
When I worked at the pier, there was
a safe full of cash in the office.
We're gonna steal it. Right now.
The plan.
'OK, it's a risky one,
but here is my idea.
'We go in wearing
these old work shirts.
'Pretend to be staff,
scope out the arcade.
'Carol, you sweet-talk
the security guys.
'Find out if there's a weak point, a
way to get back on the Pier tonight.
'Check doors, windows,
gates anything.
'OK, Sugar, cameras.
'There's CCTV all over the place,
'but you can disable the system
from a control room in the arcade.
'Get in there and mess it up.
'Right, while you two
are doing that,
'I'll see if I can get hold
of a keycard.
'I have a sneaky idea for that.
'Get myself
into the manager's office,
'and get the code to the safe.
'I get one go.'
What?
Sorry, er, the girl from Donuts
wants some er, change.
50p's and pounds.
Haven't seen your face before.
You new or summat?
No.
What you wearing an old uniform for?
We haven't had those in years.
I, er I just
I like vintage stuff.
So, I
I'm I'm studying fashion,
actually, at fashion school.
I mean, I can change it if you want.
I can get in to a new one.
No. That's lovely.
Well, turn around, then.
Oh, sorry.
Carol.
Oh, job done.
Now, the gates are locked
at night inside and out,
and only the owners have the key.
Right, well, how we gonna get in?
Well, being the smart arse
that I am,
I've released the emergency ladder
further down the pier.
All we have to do is climb up a bit
and we're in.
You're welcome.
Well done. OK, right, where's Sugar?
Who the fuck are you!?
Erm
I know what you're doing, sweetheart.
Trying to find a little corner,
so you can hide away and nap,
keep earning for the egg.
I don't blame you
cos once you've had 'em,
they never stop asking for stuff.
But the new bosses won't allow it.
Can't have preggos near drunks
or dodgems;
the insurance won't cover it.
I'm sorry, love.
I'm gonna have to let you go.
I'll tell you what,
treat yourself to some
pick 'n' mix on your way out, on me.
Medium scoop.
'They sacked me!'
I've never been sacked ever!
Sugar, you don't fucking work here!
You You silly bitch.
Did you sort the CCTV out?
No.We've got a bigger problem
than cameras, Erin.
What?!
'There's only suitable
entrance to the arcade
'is blocked by these
fucking security shutters.
' There's a release button,
but it's on the fucking inside here.'
Gonna need an inside man.
'There you go.'
'A fucking dinghy.'
We're not gonna fit in that, like.
Course we will.
Tommo's not with us.
What difference will that make?
How much do you think Tommo fucking
weighs? He's like a conker.Conker?
It's like a nut.
It's denser than a nut, very much.
It's a small turnip.
It's nothing like a fucking turnip.
Stop with the conker chat, please!
We need to focus!
Right,
here how it's gonna work tonight.
'We'll row out to the ladder,
were gonna climb up,
'scoot along to the shutters.
'Once we're in,
we'll get all the money
'and the spare key to the front gate
out of the safe.
'Head for the front,
meet Sugar in the van
'and disappear into the night.'
Bob's your uncle.
Fanny's your aunt. Let's go!
What about the CCTV that's still on?
Cardi's got masks.
Hello!
All we need now is our inside man.
Ha ha ha!
Not a fucking chance
I'm going in there.
I'm not a fucking goldfish.
Stop moaning, get in.
Come on! Come on!
Go. Go. Go. Go.
There we go. Cover yourself up
with teddies and go to sleep.
There's a sandwich in your pocket.
Here he is.
Oi, get your shit together.
Are you sure you can do this, man?
I can't promise anything, but bail.
But you can promise bail,
though, yeah?
Battle of the minds, Vinnie.
Battle of the minds.
How does that even?
Don't take the file.
And the fucking beret.
Take the beret off!
We're fucked, you know.
Yeah.
I am here to talk to my client,
a Mister Jehan Jevani.
I'm his lawyer.
Fuck off. You're his lawyer?
Mm.
This is the biggest
bag of shite I've ever heard.
Go on, then, show us your ID.
Go on. This reeks of Vincent O'Neil.
Fuck off!
You fucked it up, didn't you?
I got him off on bail.
Fuck off!
He'll be tagged tomorrow afternoon!
Yeah!
Fantastic, man.You should've seen
his face. Yes! Yes!
:
'16 things I am gonna fucking do
'even if someone fucking tells me
I won't.
'Start my own business.
'Punch Jack Powell in the face.
'Move to Australia.
'Don't come back here to be stuck
doing nothing with my life.'
You OK?
Yeah.
How you coping with everything?
How am I gonna do this on my own?
Without JJ?
I can't even hold down
a fucking fake job.
Right, come here.
Come and sit with me, come on.
Right, listen,
you are not on your own, OK?
You've got
me, you've got your mum, Carol
You've got me, anyway.
And it's not gonna be easy,
but we'll make it work.
How, though?
how do you do it?
I don't know, you justdo.
You wake up one day
and you realise you've done it.
Or you realise that you're doing it.
I'm so angry with him, Erin.
It's like he waited until everything
was perfect and then fucked it up.
I just thought
we could have something new,
a life I've never had.
What's this?
Oh, it's just something
I used to write in as a kid.
There's so many things
I wanted to do.
Yet here I am.
In the same fucking flat.
Sorting out my Dad's shit.
I'm sure your dad
didn't plan for him to do this.
No, he didn't.
He didn't plan for anyone
but himself.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Who checked the tides?You can get
rid of that fucking boat.
# WOLFMOTHER: Woman
This is it.
Yes, come on!
Well done.
Whoo-hoo!
Ash, go on.
Why's it always fucking me?
Just come on.
You were in the feckin' circus.
You've got muscles, come on.
Oh! Oh, fucking hell!
Oh, my God, you're not one of them
murdering clowns, are you?
No. No, erm, I just haven't washed
my face from work. I work here.
Robbo Dobbo Doodah at your service.
What the fuck are you doing in here?
Oh, I live here.
34 days, and counting.
What? You You live here?
ErMum and Dad kicked me out.
So, I've been holed up here since.
# THE FRIGHTNRS: All My Tears
ERIN: Right, masks on.
Come on. Ready? Let's go.
CARDI: That's awful.
She said I had less personality
than that little bit of water
hat forms on expired yogurt.
Well, Nan's can be very nasty.
She's, right though. I'm not a man!.
You are a man.
I'm not.
You ARE a man!
You got legs, haven't you? And arms.
And a f-f-f-face, and hair.
Yeah, but so have they!
ERIN:
Ash, what the fuck are you doing?
ASHLEY: Sorry.You're not fucking
Rambo, are you?OK. Sorry.
Why'd you knock four times?Because
it's my secret squirrel knock.
Cardi!
Don't go!
You're the first person around here
that's really understood me!
Well, m-maybe that's cos you're
surrounded by stuffed animals, mate.
Real people don't get me.
Look, sometimes people
don't have to get you.
Sometimes you've just got
to follow them round
until they think it's weird
when you're not there.
That's what I did.
You'll be alright.
Thanks, Cardi.
Anytime, Robbo.
See you at t'clock.
I need to get out.
You've got my Benny!
Yeah, no, I think so.
Oh, sorry. S-S-Sorry, Benny.
'That were weird.'
Yes, Cardi.
Aye, aye. Good man. Good job.
Alright?
ERIN: Cardi, put this on.
CAROL: Did you eat your sandwich?
Oh, that's Robbo.
Just give him a wave, would you.
Cardi, you got a new friend?
ERIN: Come on,
the safe's through here.
See you in a bit.
Right, here we go.
Fuck.Where's the fucking notes? You
said nothing about fucking coins!
They normally change it
on a Thursday!
15 years ago, for fuck's sake, Erin!
Right, you know what, money's money.
Cardi, gimme the bags.There you go.
Cardi, why are you giving me
plastic bags?
They're perfect for notes. These are
fucking coins! What good are coins?
Next time, we could maybe steal
a big old barrel full of bricks.
ERIN: No. Cardi.
Yeah?
Left!
Left!No. No.
I said fucking left.
Who the fuck are you?!
Run! Run!
Get down there! Go! Go!
# DECLAN MCKENNA: Bombs
ERIN: Come on! Come on!
You thieving little bastards,
I'll kill youse all!
Freeze!
Ahh!
Fuck!What are you gonna do,
shoot at us with an air rifle?
It's a fucking child's toy!
Don't provoke her!
Don't provoke her!
Fucking Jesus!
# URIAH HEEP: Easy Livin'
I don't know who you are,
but if you give us the money back,
I'll let you go!
ADYAN: Fucking hell. Fucking hell.
Fucking hell.
What the fuck is that?
CARDI: It's a giant gobstopper.
What, with bubble gum?
I don't know. I hope so.
Swapsies for a coconut?
Fucking, no!
Shut up!
CAROL: Shit.
What the fuck are they doing here?
ERIN: They must be the new owners!
Can you hear that?
ERIN: Ash, go and have a look.
Go on.
Is there somebody in there?
Oh!
Fuck off! Fuck off! Fuck off!
Who the fuck are you lot!?
Cat women?Sshh! Sshh!
It's me.
Erin?
Yes.
Is that you? Who the fuck are you?
Ashley. Ashley.
I've got my sister Carol.
What the fuck are you doing in there?
They fucking toileted me.
They tied me to the toilet
like a wild but sexy beast.
I've gotta fucking get out of here.
Why have they done that to you?
The small one, the tiny gangster,
looks like she fell off a keyring?
I said that her hands
look like tiny bird's hands.
Yeah.Next thing you know.
Ronnie tied to the toilet.
I'm gonna keep on shooting animals
until I hit the right one.
Ahh!
We need to fucking go. Come on.
Fuck it.
Erin, you go first and I won't.
Dickhead.
I am right behind you.
Oi!
Shit!
Erin Fucking Croft!
Go on, have it, you bastards!
# SUPERGRASS: Mansize Rooster
ERIN Hide. Get down. Get down.
Where are the others?
I'm gonna get you, Erin Croft.
Fuck. Where are the others?
You and your runty little cunt
of a brother!
Hello, boys.
No!
Oh, you bastards!
It's all over, kiddies!
I don't fucking think so, bitch!
Agh!
Run, Cardi!
Thanks, Robbo! You're a legend!
You're sacked, knobhead!
# SUPERGRASS: Mansize Rooster
Sugar! Get in!
Fucking hell!
You didn't have to bury it!
Come on, come on!
Fucking drive!
Fucking shoot 'em!
It's jammed! Shit!
I know where you live,
you little bastards!
The Baileafs will be coming for us.
What the fuck are we gonna do?
Why don't we very much try
and fight them with our hands?
There's more of us than them.
Or we could just give them Ronnie.
It might do him good.
Fuck's sake, Carol.
Sorry for trying to put a positive
spin on this pig's ear of a night!
We've got fucking £26.50 here,
if that helps?
I mean
I'm probably gonna fuck off
..now, to be honest..
Don't you fucking dare leave her.
I won't. I'm not gonna.
Ronnie!
Hey, Sugar, leave him.
Ronnie Croft?
Ronnie Croft!
Do me a favour, could you?
What's up!
Take this up to Erin.
I'm late for my round.
I've got to keep my hands busy
now your dad's gone.
Yeah.
It's to go with the flat.
OK.
I don't know who the fuck you are.
Erin?
What do you want?
Come on, Erin.
Erin.What?
Can I give you a cuddle?
No, you cannot give me a cuddle!
Just a little hug. Come on.
Erin. I love you.
Right, too far. Gone way too far.
Do you know what, Erin?
I always look out for you.
You don't.
I do.
And you don't need my help. Do you
wanna know why? Cos of your brain.
and it's just like that. Whooh.
Just constant, do you know what
I mean, with fucking
Oh, anyway, what's going on
over here?What you doing?
Look at that picture of Taylor.
It's Tyler. It's fucking Tyler.
Going for a fly!
Why, you fucking idiot? This better
not be fucking smashed,
I'll tell you what.
What you doing?
Just chilling out.Have
you got something behind your back?
Give me it! Yeah, you fucking have.
You fucking have. Give me it.
Give it
What's he up to now?
What have you got?
What the fuck? What is this?
What is this, Ronnie?
I was gonna split it!
I was.Did you know about this
the whole time?
When we're about to get our fucking
heads kicked in!
I didn't fucking know!
I didn't. And I was gonna split it
with you, 50-60!
That's what I'm saying. Look, look,
I've got this, it's from your dad!
You little prick.
I don't know what this
I don't know what this is.
"My beautiful daughter Erin.
"If the Baileafs come,
"the money is in the skirting board
in your bedroom.
"There's some extra for you.
"Eight grand, the amount
that I owe you."Oh, my God.
"Old age gives you nothing but
looser shits and bigger regrets."
"I'm sorry that I wasn't better.
"The flat's yours.
"I love you.
"PS: I told people
that your name was Emma
"because I knew it
would drive you bloody mad."
Bastard.
Oh, my God.Whoa, whoa, whoa!
We've got it. We've got the money.
We've got the money!
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
Oh, look what we've got here.
I've got to hand it to you, Erin,
you take after your father,
but you cannot get away
with robbing our pier.
Here's your money.
It's all there, you can check it.
We want double.
For the damage done to the arcade.
There's 18K there. Alright?
You can take it. I don't want it!
You're two grand light.
He'll work it off.He will.
For free.Alright.
And you can hit him. Once.
Not fucking you!
Why is it always him?
Oi!
Fucking hell!
Fucking hell!
Anything else happens,
and I mean it, anything,
I will come down,
and I'll burn your fucking pier
to the ground, do you hear me?
He's my brother,
and if anybody's gonna kill him,
it's gonna be me.
Damn straight.
Shut up!Will do, Erin.
# ODETTA: Hit Or Miss
Thanks, Vin.
No, it's alright.
Listen, man, I lied before.
About not knowing.
I know.
Sarim told me. I just can't believe
you didn't tell me about it.
I'm embarrassed.
I'm gonna be a dad.
And I couldn't even provide for it.
I'm sorry, man.
Listen
I've gotta run, Vinnie.
OK. I'm not like you.
I can't go to prison. I won't.
What about Sugar and the baby?
It's better for them both.
I know it is.
I don't know, maybe when this has
all died down, I'll come back.
Yeah?
I love you, bud.
Oh, fuck me.
Why don't you come with me, please?
What? And give birth on the run
in the fuck truck?
You should've told me.
I could've stopped you
and we could've been
picking out cots, or whatever we're
meant to be doing right now.
I just
I wanted everything to be perfect
for you. OK?
For both of you.
I just wanted to provide
and just, like, be a man, but
You are the best man
I have ever met.
I love you.
Sorry.
What am I gonna do with out you?
A very beautiful couple.
Come on. Come and give us a love
before you go.
Shall we have a sexual dance?
# Shall we make it sexual?
# Very, very sexual
# Let's have a sexual #
TOMMO: Avanti!
Get out of it, you pig!
Into the distance.
: I tell you what.
: What?
I can't believe
you've got a second house.
I know.
Maybe it's better I weren't there.
Oh, stop fishing.
God, it was good though.
Mm.
I've gotta start
doing some stuff for myself.
What kind of stuff?
Just stuff.
I got you a present, actually.
Here.
It's got a bit squashed now.
What is it?
It's a jam doughnut.
Aww.
That's probably the last
one in the world, that.
You're a heart-breaker.
# SHACK: As Long As I've Got You
# Morning paper soaking from the rain
# And Kilroy's hair's turned blue
# Feed the cat, the fish,
the dogs the same
# I'm soaking through and through
# All through this winter time #
:
'16 things I'm gonna fucking do
'even if someone tells me I won't.
'Start my own business.'
Badshit.
List, right.
Fearofchange.
Loneliness.
Dylanhasgone.
My ownstupidhead.
Goodstuff.
Erin.
Tyler.
: 'Write a book about a girl
talking to a horse.
'Fall in love with someone
from Paris.
'Big one. Travel the world.'
Aahhh!
I couldn't help overhearing you've
got a bad case of Rattus rattus.
There's only one man can fix this.
He's a bit of a twat.
Fellas.He's got hooks
on the fucking ceiling.
He's not a murderer.
Ahhh!
Ohh!
# SIR JOE QUARTERMAN:
So Much Trouble In My Mind
Fuck you! Fuck you!
You fucking can't catch me!
# I got so much trouble in my mind
# I got so much trouble in my mind
# Give me the strength to carry on
# Give me the strength to carry on
# Cos everything I got
is just about gone #
This programme contains
very strong language
from the outset and throughout.
# PULP: Babies
Just be careful, she
Watch yourself, it's hot.
Just be quiet.
Don't give it away, mate.
She's gonna love it.
Bit on the side there.
OK.
Have you got a lighter?
That's it, Ronnie.
Right.
Sshh.
Sshh.
Hang on.
Come in.
BOTH: # Happy Birthday to you
# Happy Birthday to you
Is that a fucking pork pie?
Birthday digs!
Fuck off, dickhead!
MAN: Neil!
Neil fucking Croft!
Where's our fucking money?
Fuck! Erin, fetch your wages.
Dad! Not again.
I'll pay you back, I swear.
I'm opening a new leaf. I just
I need to get a few things sorted.
Where is our fucking money, Neil?
Dad
Stay in there. Look after her.
MAN: Where's our fucking money,
Neil?
You said you'd have it!
Where the fuck is it?
Well, at least it's not
fucking pissing it down.
CAROL:
No, but it's an awful day for it.
Thanks for coming, everyone.
Especially you,
with what's going in on with JJ.
Oh, well, this is more important.
I have you a present.
Go on.
It's a chocolate mouse.
Adyan?
if you want to go to the pier,
just go.
Are you sure? You don't want me to,
you knowRight, just go.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Who does that? Who cadges a lift
with a funeral possession
to fuck off to a fun fair?
I must say, it's very unusual.
Come on, let's get this over with.
Come on. Let's mourn.
That'll be five pounds, please.
You what?
Five pounds.
Five pounds for fucking what?
To get in?
Are you having a giraffe?
Her dad's just fucking died.
It's to help pay off Neil's debts.
He owed a lot of people a lot of
money. "Bai-leafs" are after him.
I'm sorry.
Fuck's sake.
Unreal.Here.
Thanks.
Fucking hell.
You can have that, an' all.
CAROL: I'll pay for two.
ASHLEY: Charger.
Weed.
# BARRETT STRONG: Money
# The best things in life are free,
but you can give them to the #
CAROL: I want a fiver.
That was me last tenner.
I paid for you.
SUGAR: He'd be amazed if he saw you
now, Erin. I bet he missed you.
The only thing Neil Croft missed
was my fucking wages
after he fucked off.
Oh, where did you work?
A doughnut stall.
Oh.
When was the last
time you saw a jam doughnut?
I see 'em all time.
You can't have done
cos I think they're quite rare.
Hello.
Sorry,
is one of you Neil's daughter?
Yeah, I am. I am.
Great.
Emma.
Erin.
So, I'm looking for
his other daughter, erm, Emma.
Yeah, there's no Emma.
It's just me. It's Erin.
Well, if Emma's running late,
maybe you'd say
a few words about your dad.
Cos, obviously,
people have paid an entry fee.
I didn't really knew him that well.
So, I feel a bit uncomfortable,
like, going up.
Oh, we'll just muddle through, then,
won't we?
OK, everybody. Everyone, hello.
Thank you so much
for coming to say goodbye
to Neil Croft.
What can we say about- ?
Neil Croft?!
What? Not Arnold Waller?
No, this is Neil Croft's funeral.
Oh, for God's sake.
So, as I was saying,
on this devastating day
for the rest of us here,
it's wonderful that we've got
someone who knew him so very well.
We're gonna hear a few words
now from his beloved daughter, Emma.
Erin!
Go on, you can do itEmma.
Go on, Emma!
Go on, Emma.
Hello.
I'm Erin, I'm Neil Croft's daughter.
We didn't really keep in touch,
after he er
he fucked off
when I was just 16.
I do regret not staying in contact
with him.
Because then I'd be able
to tell him to his face
..what a shit show of a dad he was.
And I'd ask for my money
that he owed me.
Never gonna get that back now, am I?
And I could tell him what life
I've made for myself, for my son.
Despite the fact that he fucked off
and he was a shit dad,
I think that-
Heyyy!
Fucking hell.
Erin! Hold me!
Ronnie?
I'm broken up. I'm heart-broken.
Ronnie, please, don't do this now.
Oh, my chest, it breaks.
Erin
Everyone
have I missed the will?
Oi! Give us that "Dad" back now!
Fuck's sake.
Fuck!
Ronnie!
Who the fuck are all these?
This is yours. Yeah, OK, thank you.
Sorry. Emma, is it?
It's Erin!
Right, well, anyway, that man,
he said you'd pay his entry, so
I can stay.
It's just therapy session,
then I've got to go
and see what's going on with JJ.
No, you can't miss therapy.
And JJ hasn't seen anyone
for a few days, so..
Oh, and you need to pick Tyler up
from Jim's.Yeah, I do. Bollocks.
Christ, what does he see in
that crusty old turd of a babysitter?
I know.
Do you, though?
Er, send JJ my love, yeah?
I will do. I will do.
Shugs, Vinnie's gonna go see JJ.
Do you want him to pass on anything?
No.
No.No. It's a firm no.
Alright.See you later, love.
Erin Croft? Neil's daughter?
Jesus! Yeah, who's asking?
Your dad, Neil.
We were lovers.
Right?
He wanted me to give this to you,
if he didn't get the chance.
What are they?
The flat on Pier Avenue.
He wanted you to have it.
He wanted me to have the flat?
Oh, yeah.
I was there when he got it
all sorted with a lawyer.
He really did love you Erin.
Not in the way he loved me,
obviously
Obviously!
But he loved you all the same.
Cheerio, love.
Ha ha ha!
Shugs? Shugs!
I've got keys to my Dad's flat.
Oh, my God!
Go, go, go!
I've got keys to my Dad's flat.
My dad's flat! My dad's flat!
Can you believe it?
Oh, my God!
Oh, fuck it.
'It was my tenth birthday.
'I was excited.
'So, stupidly, I asked my Dad if he'd
got me a present. And he was drunk.
' He say's, "Yeah. Yeah, I do."
'Off we set, to go and pick it up.
'Walk over a couple of fields,
'and I can smell this fucking smell.
'It's getting closer and closer.
Like rot.
'Almost sweet-smelling.'
'Then we get to an abattoir.
'And it looks exactly how it sounds.'
'It's a bad word -
'"abattoir."
'Anyway,
so he tells me to close my eyes,
'and he walks me round the
back of the building,
'and when I open my eyes,
we're in this
'like a pit of all these off-cuts,
'fucking hooves and horns,
and shit like that.
'And he plunges his hands
in to all this fucking flesh,
' and find this bull's head
'covered in dry blood, and he hands
this fucking thing to me.
'That was it,
that was my birthday present.
'He walked me through Hawley.
'Everyone could see us.
'He had the head in his right hand.
'My hand in his left. Christ.
THERAPIST:
'How did that make you feel?'
'I just couldn't understand it.
'I was just too young for that.'
'What would like to say to that
child, holding your dad's hand?'
'I'd tell him not to end up like him.
'"Hold on to who you are.
'"And maybe next year get a fucking
bike, or summat." I don't know."'
Does it affect how you feel
about your birthday?
Yeah.
And I fucking hate it.
On a day when you're meant
to be happy.
You know.?
Could we cut the session a bit
shorter today, do you think?
Cos I've got a lot of shit going on.
My friend JJ's in the nick
and I'm worried about him, you know.
Well, you're already here.
It might not seem like progress
to you, but it is.
I think you should stay.
But it's alright for you to
reschedule whenever you fancy, in it?
You know, you've got me writing
fucking lists. I mean, Jesus Christ.
This thing, it's like a fucking
a-la-carte menu
of all my worst problems.
"Fear of abandonment, fear
of fucking change, loneliness."
Fucking I don't know what it's
supposed to do? Know what I mean?!
Well sometimes it's
good to contain things, to know
what's really bothering you.
I don't need fucking reminding
of all this bull shit. I just don't
see what it's meant to fucking
Do you know what? Bollocks, keep it.
I'm fucking it off.
Christ.
See you next week.
# LONGPIGS: She Said
Cocaine in the fucking garage?
You couldn't've talked to me
about it?
Do you think I knew
it was fucking there? Huh?
Do you think I would fucking risk
that?
Well, who the fuck's-It was fucking
Sarim. Your cousin Sarim?
I am innocent, alright?
I'll sort it, just leave it with me
I'll get you bail?
Oh, apparently I'm a risk in case
I "fly back home," which is
Hawley, by the way!
Bloody bunch of racists!
You can't fucking be here,
for something you haven't done.
I will not have it,
it's not fair, alright?
Mark my words, I swear,
as God is my judge,
I am gonna track that fucker down
like a bloodhound.
And he will be begging for mercy
by the time I'm finished wi' him.
Dah! Ah! Dude!
No. Put me down! Put me Come on!
Fucking put me the fuck down!
Ugh.
I mean, fuck's sake.
Told you I could do it.
I fucking believed you.!
Now, look, just Fuck me, dude,
I want you to own up!
To all this fucking shite
you've created! Eh?
Or at least help me break him out
of fucking jail, you sexy arsehole.
It was his own idea.
Oh
..shit!He said he needed
the extra cash for his kid,
and that he does this stuff all
the time, with you losers.
He fucking lied to you.
Fuck!
SUGAR: 'Oh, look at this.'
Oh, God.
Oh, jeez.
It stinks.
It's a bit musty.
There's my old bedroom.
Let me have a look in.
It hasn't changed.
Erin, it's big.
Oh, look at the wallpaper.
I know!
Look, you can see the sea front.
Oh, look, you can see the pier!
I know! I used to work on there!
Oh, God,
it's so weird being back here.
Still a shit hole.
Yes, but it's yours. I know it needs
a bit of a spring clean,
but I bet you this place is worth
a fucking fortune now.
Hello!
Oh, God.
Early signs of the fashionista
that was to emerge.
Oh, no, no, look. This is me
and our Ronnie's heights.
You know, you measure against
the wall, the heights?So cute.
Oh, my God.
My God.
Tyler would love this, wouldn't he?
Somewhere next to the sea.
Yeah!
And now you fucking do!
ALL: Yeah!
That's not a good
Erin Croft?
Yeah?
We brought you these.
Sorry to hear about your dad passing.
May we come in?
Sorry, have we met?
We're the Bai-leafs.
You don't look like bailiffs.
It's not "bai-liff."
It's "Bai-leaf."
Now, Erin.
Where's our money?
What money?
The money Neil Croft owes us.
Where is it?
You're his daughter, aren't you?
I don't know anything
about the fucking money.
I haven't seen
him for 15 fucking years.
See, your dear dad
said you would help.
Said you'd sort it for him
if he came to pass,
and look at that, he came to pass.
So now the debts yours.
Debt we want paid.
Ten grand.
Ten grand?
Ten grand?
No. You're having a laugh.
Ugh!
Now, Billy
Erin didn't mean to rude.
I'm sure she'll fetch our money now
from where every her pilfering
wet fish of a father-
I haven't got your fucking money!
Well, woman to woman I understand
how unreliable our men can be,
so there was always the possibility
you might not come up with it.
Billy's a gentleman.
He won't hurt you,
or your friends here.
But your brotherRonnie.
No-one would notice
if he went missing.
I don't know where he is, I haven't
seen him for, what, years?
Oh, Erin?!
I said, Erin!
You were saying?
You lying little twat!
Get him, Billy!
Ronnie!
Ugh!
Oh, no, not again! Ahh!
You gonna come through
for your old man?
I'm too old for this bullshit.
Do what you want with him.
Erin, Erin, my fingers!
Alright, alright, alright!
Fuck!
I'll get you your money.
Ten grand by tomorrow. And we'll keep
Ronnie with us until then.
What? Erin?
Teach him some manners.
Ugh! Erin?
Erin, does that?
Erin drop me a text or summat!
Take his fucking phone off him!
I'll get you on MySpace.
# ROBERT JOHNSON:
I'm A Steady Rollin' Man
Come on. Nearly there.
No!
No!
'Ey!
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Get here now.
What the fucking hells that?
Hiya, Dad! Is Mum back?
Never mind. Put it down!
Don't put it down, you'll spoil her!
What do you mean, "her?"
Is that a body bag!?
Well, how else am I supposed
to fucking steal 'em?
Are you stealing bodies
with my child?
It's a fucking scarecrow!
Jim thinks the crows are inviting
their friends to his field.
They fucking are!
So, for every crow I see,
another one of these goes in.
So I'd like to keep hold of Tyler
for a bit longer
to help with the formation.
Hell, no, dude,
you ain't borrowing my child
for any more of this bullshit!
What's up your arse, anyway?
Ears.
JJ has hidden fucking cocaine
in his garage.
Now he's looking at fucking jail
time. Can't even get the cunt bail.
You're alright.
I heard everything.Shut up!
Course you can get fucking bail.
Every person has the right to bail
before conviction.
It's a matter of law, Vinnie.
It's not a matter of opinion.
How the fuck do you know all that?
You are an actual lawyer?
It's from Guatemala.
Read a couple of books,
answer a couple of questions,
and that's it.
It's a piece of piss.
I can do dental work in Paraguay
and marry you in California.
Come here. Come here!
Get the fuck off! Vinnie!
Vinnie, fuck off!
Right, how the hell are
we gonna find ten grand by tomorrow?
We could knock over
a fish and chip shop maybe?
What and steal ten thousand battered
sausages? Have a bit of respect.
Where's Tommo?
Gone back to Hawley.
He had to go back to the Rat And
Cutter. He's got a stag do on.
Couldn't we all just go back
to Hawley?No, we can't go back.
They've got Ronnie. Imagine what
they'd do if we just fucked off.
And that's a deal breaker is it?
It's not a major loss.
We don't need-
Yes, Carol it's a deal breaker!
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up! Let me think!
Kick in the balls.
Oh, yeah!
Wahey!
Why have you got so many of these,
Erin?
I used to launder 'em for cash.
Right, you ready?
One, two, three
When I worked at the pier, there was
a safe full of cash in the office.
We're gonna steal it. Right now.
The plan.
'OK, it's a risky one,
but here is my idea.
'We go in wearing
these old work shirts.
'Pretend to be staff,
scope out the arcade.
'Carol, you sweet-talk
the security guys.
'Find out if there's a weak point, a
way to get back on the Pier tonight.
'Check doors, windows,
gates anything.
'OK, Sugar, cameras.
'There's CCTV all over the place,
'but you can disable the system
from a control room in the arcade.
'Get in there and mess it up.
'Right, while you two
are doing that,
'I'll see if I can get hold
of a keycard.
'I have a sneaky idea for that.
'Get myself
into the manager's office,
'and get the code to the safe.
'I get one go.'
What?
Sorry, er, the girl from Donuts
wants some er, change.
50p's and pounds.
Haven't seen your face before.
You new or summat?
No.
What you wearing an old uniform for?
We haven't had those in years.
I, er I just
I like vintage stuff.
So, I
I'm I'm studying fashion,
actually, at fashion school.
I mean, I can change it if you want.
I can get in to a new one.
No. That's lovely.
Well, turn around, then.
Oh, sorry.
Carol.
Oh, job done.
Now, the gates are locked
at night inside and out,
and only the owners have the key.
Right, well, how we gonna get in?
Well, being the smart arse
that I am,
I've released the emergency ladder
further down the pier.
All we have to do is climb up a bit
and we're in.
You're welcome.
Well done. OK, right, where's Sugar?
Who the fuck are you!?
Erm
I know what you're doing, sweetheart.
Trying to find a little corner,
so you can hide away and nap,
keep earning for the egg.
I don't blame you
cos once you've had 'em,
they never stop asking for stuff.
But the new bosses won't allow it.
Can't have preggos near drunks
or dodgems;
the insurance won't cover it.
I'm sorry, love.
I'm gonna have to let you go.
I'll tell you what,
treat yourself to some
pick 'n' mix on your way out, on me.
Medium scoop.
'They sacked me!'
I've never been sacked ever!
Sugar, you don't fucking work here!
You You silly bitch.
Did you sort the CCTV out?
No.We've got a bigger problem
than cameras, Erin.
What?!
'There's only suitable
entrance to the arcade
'is blocked by these
fucking security shutters.
' There's a release button,
but it's on the fucking inside here.'
Gonna need an inside man.
'There you go.'
'A fucking dinghy.'
We're not gonna fit in that, like.
Course we will.
Tommo's not with us.
What difference will that make?
How much do you think Tommo fucking
weighs? He's like a conker.Conker?
It's like a nut.
It's denser than a nut, very much.
It's a small turnip.
It's nothing like a fucking turnip.
Stop with the conker chat, please!
We need to focus!
Right,
here how it's gonna work tonight.
'We'll row out to the ladder,
were gonna climb up,
'scoot along to the shutters.
'Once we're in,
we'll get all the money
'and the spare key to the front gate
out of the safe.
'Head for the front,
meet Sugar in the van
'and disappear into the night.'
Bob's your uncle.
Fanny's your aunt. Let's go!
What about the CCTV that's still on?
Cardi's got masks.
Hello!
All we need now is our inside man.
Ha ha ha!
Not a fucking chance
I'm going in there.
I'm not a fucking goldfish.
Stop moaning, get in.
Come on! Come on!
Go. Go. Go. Go.
There we go. Cover yourself up
with teddies and go to sleep.
There's a sandwich in your pocket.
Here he is.
Oi, get your shit together.
Are you sure you can do this, man?
I can't promise anything, but bail.
But you can promise bail,
though, yeah?
Battle of the minds, Vinnie.
Battle of the minds.
How does that even?
Don't take the file.
And the fucking beret.
Take the beret off!
We're fucked, you know.
Yeah.
I am here to talk to my client,
a Mister Jehan Jevani.
I'm his lawyer.
Fuck off. You're his lawyer?
Mm.
This is the biggest
bag of shite I've ever heard.
Go on, then, show us your ID.
Go on. This reeks of Vincent O'Neil.
Fuck off!
You fucked it up, didn't you?
I got him off on bail.
Fuck off!
He'll be tagged tomorrow afternoon!
Yeah!
Fantastic, man.You should've seen
his face. Yes! Yes!
:
'16 things I am gonna fucking do
'even if someone fucking tells me
I won't.
'Start my own business.
'Punch Jack Powell in the face.
'Move to Australia.
'Don't come back here to be stuck
doing nothing with my life.'
You OK?
Yeah.
How you coping with everything?
How am I gonna do this on my own?
Without JJ?
I can't even hold down
a fucking fake job.
Right, come here.
Come and sit with me, come on.
Right, listen,
you are not on your own, OK?
You've got
me, you've got your mum, Carol
You've got me, anyway.
And it's not gonna be easy,
but we'll make it work.
How, though?
how do you do it?
I don't know, you justdo.
You wake up one day
and you realise you've done it.
Or you realise that you're doing it.
I'm so angry with him, Erin.
It's like he waited until everything
was perfect and then fucked it up.
I just thought
we could have something new,
a life I've never had.
What's this?
Oh, it's just something
I used to write in as a kid.
There's so many things
I wanted to do.
Yet here I am.
In the same fucking flat.
Sorting out my Dad's shit.
I'm sure your dad
didn't plan for him to do this.
No, he didn't.
He didn't plan for anyone
but himself.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Who checked the tides?You can get
rid of that fucking boat.
# WOLFMOTHER: Woman
This is it.
Yes, come on!
Well done.
Whoo-hoo!
Ash, go on.
Why's it always fucking me?
Just come on.
You were in the feckin' circus.
You've got muscles, come on.
Oh! Oh, fucking hell!
Oh, my God, you're not one of them
murdering clowns, are you?
No. No, erm, I just haven't washed
my face from work. I work here.
Robbo Dobbo Doodah at your service.
What the fuck are you doing in here?
Oh, I live here.
34 days, and counting.
What? You You live here?
ErMum and Dad kicked me out.
So, I've been holed up here since.
# THE FRIGHTNRS: All My Tears
ERIN: Right, masks on.
Come on. Ready? Let's go.
CARDI: That's awful.
She said I had less personality
than that little bit of water
hat forms on expired yogurt.
Well, Nan's can be very nasty.
She's, right though. I'm not a man!.
You are a man.
I'm not.
You ARE a man!
You got legs, haven't you? And arms.
And a f-f-f-face, and hair.
Yeah, but so have they!
ERIN:
Ash, what the fuck are you doing?
ASHLEY: Sorry.You're not fucking
Rambo, are you?OK. Sorry.
Why'd you knock four times?Because
it's my secret squirrel knock.
Cardi!
Don't go!
You're the first person around here
that's really understood me!
Well, m-maybe that's cos you're
surrounded by stuffed animals, mate.
Real people don't get me.
Look, sometimes people
don't have to get you.
Sometimes you've just got
to follow them round
until they think it's weird
when you're not there.
That's what I did.
You'll be alright.
Thanks, Cardi.
Anytime, Robbo.
See you at t'clock.
I need to get out.
You've got my Benny!
Yeah, no, I think so.
Oh, sorry. S-S-Sorry, Benny.
'That were weird.'
Yes, Cardi.
Aye, aye. Good man. Good job.
Alright?
ERIN: Cardi, put this on.
CAROL: Did you eat your sandwich?
Oh, that's Robbo.
Just give him a wave, would you.
Cardi, you got a new friend?
ERIN: Come on,
the safe's through here.
See you in a bit.
Right, here we go.
Fuck.Where's the fucking notes? You
said nothing about fucking coins!
They normally change it
on a Thursday!
15 years ago, for fuck's sake, Erin!
Right, you know what, money's money.
Cardi, gimme the bags.There you go.
Cardi, why are you giving me
plastic bags?
They're perfect for notes. These are
fucking coins! What good are coins?
Next time, we could maybe steal
a big old barrel full of bricks.
ERIN: No. Cardi.
Yeah?
Left!
Left!No. No.
I said fucking left.
Who the fuck are you?!
Run! Run!
Get down there! Go! Go!
# DECLAN MCKENNA: Bombs
ERIN: Come on! Come on!
You thieving little bastards,
I'll kill youse all!
Freeze!
Ahh!
Fuck!What are you gonna do,
shoot at us with an air rifle?
It's a fucking child's toy!
Don't provoke her!
Don't provoke her!
Fucking Jesus!
# URIAH HEEP: Easy Livin'
I don't know who you are,
but if you give us the money back,
I'll let you go!
ADYAN: Fucking hell. Fucking hell.
Fucking hell.
What the fuck is that?
CARDI: It's a giant gobstopper.
What, with bubble gum?
I don't know. I hope so.
Swapsies for a coconut?
Fucking, no!
Shut up!
CAROL: Shit.
What the fuck are they doing here?
ERIN: They must be the new owners!
Can you hear that?
ERIN: Ash, go and have a look.
Go on.
Is there somebody in there?
Oh!
Fuck off! Fuck off! Fuck off!
Who the fuck are you lot!?
Cat women?Sshh! Sshh!
It's me.
Erin?
Yes.
Is that you? Who the fuck are you?
Ashley. Ashley.
I've got my sister Carol.
What the fuck are you doing in there?
They fucking toileted me.
They tied me to the toilet
like a wild but sexy beast.
I've gotta fucking get out of here.
Why have they done that to you?
The small one, the tiny gangster,
looks like she fell off a keyring?
I said that her hands
look like tiny bird's hands.
Yeah.Next thing you know.
Ronnie tied to the toilet.
I'm gonna keep on shooting animals
until I hit the right one.
Ahh!
We need to fucking go. Come on.
Fuck it.
Erin, you go first and I won't.
Dickhead.
I am right behind you.
Oi!
Shit!
Erin Fucking Croft!
Go on, have it, you bastards!
# SUPERGRASS: Mansize Rooster
ERIN Hide. Get down. Get down.
Where are the others?
I'm gonna get you, Erin Croft.
Fuck. Where are the others?
You and your runty little cunt
of a brother!
Hello, boys.
No!
Oh, you bastards!
It's all over, kiddies!
I don't fucking think so, bitch!
Agh!
Run, Cardi!
Thanks, Robbo! You're a legend!
You're sacked, knobhead!
# SUPERGRASS: Mansize Rooster
Sugar! Get in!
Fucking hell!
You didn't have to bury it!
Come on, come on!
Fucking drive!
Fucking shoot 'em!
It's jammed! Shit!
I know where you live,
you little bastards!
The Baileafs will be coming for us.
What the fuck are we gonna do?
Why don't we very much try
and fight them with our hands?
There's more of us than them.
Or we could just give them Ronnie.
It might do him good.
Fuck's sake, Carol.
Sorry for trying to put a positive
spin on this pig's ear of a night!
We've got fucking £26.50 here,
if that helps?
I mean
I'm probably gonna fuck off
..now, to be honest..
Don't you fucking dare leave her.
I won't. I'm not gonna.
Ronnie!
Hey, Sugar, leave him.
Ronnie Croft?
Ronnie Croft!
Do me a favour, could you?
What's up!
Take this up to Erin.
I'm late for my round.
I've got to keep my hands busy
now your dad's gone.
Yeah.
It's to go with the flat.
OK.
I don't know who the fuck you are.
Erin?
What do you want?
Come on, Erin.
Erin.What?
Can I give you a cuddle?
No, you cannot give me a cuddle!
Just a little hug. Come on.
Erin. I love you.
Right, too far. Gone way too far.
Do you know what, Erin?
I always look out for you.
You don't.
I do.
And you don't need my help. Do you
wanna know why? Cos of your brain.
and it's just like that. Whooh.
Just constant, do you know what
I mean, with fucking
Oh, anyway, what's going on
over here?What you doing?
Look at that picture of Taylor.
It's Tyler. It's fucking Tyler.
Going for a fly!
Why, you fucking idiot? This better
not be fucking smashed,
I'll tell you what.
What you doing?
Just chilling out.Have
you got something behind your back?
Give me it! Yeah, you fucking have.
You fucking have. Give me it.
Give it
What's he up to now?
What have you got?
What the fuck? What is this?
What is this, Ronnie?
I was gonna split it!
I was.Did you know about this
the whole time?
When we're about to get our fucking
heads kicked in!
I didn't fucking know!
I didn't. And I was gonna split it
with you, 50-60!
That's what I'm saying. Look, look,
I've got this, it's from your dad!
You little prick.
I don't know what this
I don't know what this is.
"My beautiful daughter Erin.
"If the Baileafs come,
"the money is in the skirting board
in your bedroom.
"There's some extra for you.
"Eight grand, the amount
that I owe you."Oh, my God.
"Old age gives you nothing but
looser shits and bigger regrets."
"I'm sorry that I wasn't better.
"The flat's yours.
"I love you.
"PS: I told people
that your name was Emma
"because I knew it
would drive you bloody mad."
Bastard.
Oh, my God.Whoa, whoa, whoa!
We've got it. We've got the money.
We've got the money!
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
Oh, look what we've got here.
I've got to hand it to you, Erin,
you take after your father,
but you cannot get away
with robbing our pier.
Here's your money.
It's all there, you can check it.
We want double.
For the damage done to the arcade.
There's 18K there. Alright?
You can take it. I don't want it!
You're two grand light.
He'll work it off.He will.
For free.Alright.
And you can hit him. Once.
Not fucking you!
Why is it always him?
Oi!
Fucking hell!
Fucking hell!
Anything else happens,
and I mean it, anything,
I will come down,
and I'll burn your fucking pier
to the ground, do you hear me?
He's my brother,
and if anybody's gonna kill him,
it's gonna be me.
Damn straight.
Shut up!Will do, Erin.
# ODETTA: Hit Or Miss
Thanks, Vin.
No, it's alright.
Listen, man, I lied before.
About not knowing.
I know.
Sarim told me. I just can't believe
you didn't tell me about it.
I'm embarrassed.
I'm gonna be a dad.
And I couldn't even provide for it.
I'm sorry, man.
Listen
I've gotta run, Vinnie.
OK. I'm not like you.
I can't go to prison. I won't.
What about Sugar and the baby?
It's better for them both.
I know it is.
I don't know, maybe when this has
all died down, I'll come back.
Yeah?
I love you, bud.
Oh, fuck me.
Why don't you come with me, please?
What? And give birth on the run
in the fuck truck?
You should've told me.
I could've stopped you
and we could've been
picking out cots, or whatever we're
meant to be doing right now.
I just
I wanted everything to be perfect
for you. OK?
For both of you.
I just wanted to provide
and just, like, be a man, but
You are the best man
I have ever met.
I love you.
Sorry.
What am I gonna do with out you?
A very beautiful couple.
Come on. Come and give us a love
before you go.
Shall we have a sexual dance?
# Shall we make it sexual?
# Very, very sexual
# Let's have a sexual #
TOMMO: Avanti!
Get out of it, you pig!
Into the distance.
: I tell you what.
: What?
I can't believe
you've got a second house.
I know.
Maybe it's better I weren't there.
Oh, stop fishing.
God, it was good though.
Mm.
I've gotta start
doing some stuff for myself.
What kind of stuff?
Just stuff.
I got you a present, actually.
Here.
It's got a bit squashed now.
What is it?
It's a jam doughnut.
Aww.
That's probably the last
one in the world, that.
You're a heart-breaker.
# SHACK: As Long As I've Got You
# Morning paper soaking from the rain
# And Kilroy's hair's turned blue
# Feed the cat, the fish,
the dogs the same
# I'm soaking through and through
# All through this winter time #
:
'16 things I'm gonna fucking do
'even if someone tells me I won't.
'Start my own business.'
Badshit.
List, right.
Fearofchange.
Loneliness.
Dylanhasgone.
My ownstupidhead.
Goodstuff.
Erin.
Tyler.
: 'Write a book about a girl
talking to a horse.
'Fall in love with someone
from Paris.
'Big one. Travel the world.'
Aahhh!
I couldn't help overhearing you've
got a bad case of Rattus rattus.
There's only one man can fix this.
He's a bit of a twat.
Fellas.He's got hooks
on the fucking ceiling.
He's not a murderer.
Ahhh!
Ohh!
# SIR JOE QUARTERMAN:
So Much Trouble In My Mind
Fuck you! Fuck you!
You fucking can't catch me!
# I got so much trouble in my mind
# I got so much trouble in my mind
# Give me the strength to carry on
# Give me the strength to carry on
# Cos everything I got
is just about gone #