Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s05e06 Episode Script

1
Uncle:
Ah, the city of fengdu,
uncle's hometown.
Uncle cannot believe
this is last time
he will ever see it.
Jackie:
Oh, that must mark
how high the flood waters
will rise
when the new dam
is finished.
Tohru:
- Everything will be submerged?
Uncle: The original birthplace
of the chan family,
gone forever.
That is why
uncle needed to come,
and that is why the two of you
needed to join me.
(Music playing)
Jade: Hey!
Uncle: Turn off racket
and listen to uncle!
This is your history.
Jade: Yeah, ancient history.
Give it back!
Uncle:
You are stubborn as mule!
Jade: I am not stubborn!
I'm independent!
Uncle: Oh!
Jade: Now what am I
supposed to listen to?
Uncle: How about uncle?
Tohru:
Sensei, what is that?
Uncle: Ai-yah!
Mingshan temple.
Dark magic.
Legendary home
to ancient mirror spirits--
evil tricksters
who make your worst fears
about yourself come true.
Jade: Big deal.
I'm spending my vacation here.
My worst fear
has already come true.
Spirits: Help!
Help!
Help!
Spirit #1:
Help! Somebody!
Spirit #2:
We're starving! We need light!
Spirit #3: Release us now!
Lead spirit: Quiet, fools!
Spirit #3: How else
are we supposed to get
a human's attention?
We need physical hosts to
escape this mirror, remember?
Spirit #2: Yeah,
- and we'll be underwater soon.
Spirit #1: And I can't swim.
Lead spirit: Patience.
I sense that
- the means of our freedom
are drawing very near.
(Spirits laugh)
Uncle: House was here.
School was here.
Best place for noodle
in city was here.
So, what do you think
of uncle's old
stomping grounds?
Jade: Tch. Looks more
like it was stomped
into the ground.
Jackie: Uncle, I read
that most of fengdu's
sacred buildings
were moved
to higher ground.
Why did they leave
the mingshan temple here?
Uncle: Nothing sacred
about mingshan.
Even small children were
taught never to go inside.
Imprisoned mirror spirits
are very crafty--
will take over your body
and make your worst fears
a reality.
Jade: Sounds like one of
those urban legend things
they tell kids
to make them behave.
Uncle: In uncle's day,
children behave regardless
Unlike now.
Jade: Hrmph.
Jackie: Uh
Perhaps we should
visit the temple anyway.
There may be artifacts
inside worth preserving.
Uncle: Thank you,
big-headed know-it-all,
for your input,
but I think uncle knows more
about mingshan temple
than you.
Some things are better left
at the bottom of the river.
Now, as I was saying,
third cousin once-removed
house was there.
He still owes uncle money.
Spirits: Help!
Help!
Jackie: Tohru, do you think
uncle is right?
Am I a big-headed know-it-all?
Jade?
Jade: Hello?
Spirits: Help!
Jade: Who's there?
Spirits: Help!
Help!
Tohru: Jade!
Jackie: Where are you?
Uncle: Touch nothing!
Were uncle's lips not moving?
Did words about temple
not come out of uncle's mouth?
Why no one ever listen
to uncle?
Jackie:
- Uhh. We weren't ignoring you,
but we have to find Jade.
Perhaps we should split up--
unless you think
I'm being a know-it-all again.
Uncle:
- Touch nothing else, big head.
Spirits: Help!
Help!
Jade: Uh, someone in here?
Spirit #1: This way!
Spirit #2: That's right!
Lead spirit: You!
Yes, you, young lady.
Over here.
Jade:
Whoa! Uncle wasn't kidding.
You guys are
- the evil mirror spirits.
Spirit #3:
- Evil? We're not evil.
(Jade gasps)
Lead spirit:
- No, don't! Wait! Please!
We are not evil, little one.
We're good--
good spirits
unjustly trapped
for centuries,
waiting for someone
brave and kind enough
to smash this prison
and set us free.
Jade:
That's not what I heard.
Spirit #3: Lies!
Spirit #2: You heard wrong!
Spirit #1: I couldn't hear.
What'd she hear?
Lead spirit:
I assure you, we mean no harm.
Our only purpose
is to Grant wishes.
Jade: Yeah, right.
Lead spirit:
Well, if you're going to be
a stubborn mule
about it
Spirits: Stubborn mule!
Stubborn mule! Stubborn mule!
Jade: Stop it!
Tohru: Jade!
Jade: What?
Tohru: Uncle warned you
not to come inside the temple.
It's too dangerous.
Jade: Like I haven't seen
danger before.
Stop being so over-protective.
You're starting to act
like your mom.
Tohru:
I am not like my mother.
Spirit #1:
Just like your mother!
Spirit #2: Who's your mommy?
Spirit #3: Mother, may I?
(Tohru shudders)
Spirits: Light!
Jade:
We can't let the mirror break!
The spirits will get out!
(Jade gasps)
Tohru: Look out!
Uncle: Aah!
Uncle: Dark magic!
Why does uncle bother
speaking?
Lead spirit: No!
Jade: Tohru! Behind you!
(Both grunt)
Uncle: Ai-yaah!
Protect the mirror!
Lead spirit: Ignorant
creatures!
We will not be denied!
(Tohru grunts)
Uncle:
Does no one have ears?
Mirror must not shatter!
Jackie: Ohh! Bad day!
(Jackie panting)
(Spirits laughing)
(Jackie screams)
(Spirit #1 laughs)
(Jade shudders)
(Spirit #3 laughs)
(Tohru shudders)
(Spirit #2 laughs)
Jackie: Ohh
(Lead spirit laughs)
(Uncle mute)
(All scream)
All: What?
Jade: Oh, no! I'm a mule!
A stubborn mule!
Jackie:
My head--it's huge!
Tohru, mother's voice:
I'm turning into my mother.
(Uncle claps)
Jade: It's like somebody hit
uncle's mute button.
Tohru: Ah.
Sometimes wishes do come true.
Jackie: (Gasps)
The mirror spirits--
they're making our worst fears
about ourselves come true!
Everybody out! Go, go, go!
(Jackie strains)
(Tohru grunts)
Jackie: Something tells me
I'm fortunate
I did not hear that.
Aw, uncle, please
stop staring and tell us
how to remove the mirror
spirits from inside us.
Jade: Hey, I kind of
like uncle this way.
Hee-haw!
At least I'm not a mime.
Why don't you walk against
the wind or something?
Jackie: Aw!
All right, both of you!
You're giving me a headache--
a big one!
don't even think about it.
Here, uncle.
Whatever you know,
write it down.
Tohru: This is nonsense!
Just like everything
that used to come
out of your mouth!
Jackie: Wait! This is
the scroll I picked up
inside the temple.
Maybe it will tell us
something.
Tohru: It says that
the mirror spirits
not only mutate
their human hosts,
but that the hosts can
then spread the fear and
chaos simply by touch,
moving from one person
to the next and so on.
Throughout the world!
Jackie: (Gasps)
So how do we stop them?
Tohru: Patience!
Unless spirits are
expelled from hosts
and recaptured in the mirror
with a binding spell,
the mutations
will become permanent!
Jade: Permanent?!
Jackie: We have a piece
of the mirror.
That's a good start.
What about the spell?
Tohru:
It is not on the scroll.
Jade: Either uncle knows
the spell or he has
to use the bathroom.
Uh, I know! Act it out,
uncle, like in charades!
Jackie:
Oh, the mountain temple!
Jade: We need
to go to a bullfight?
Jackie: Antennae!
We need some kind of bug?
Tohru: The junk man
dances like sick chicken.
Jackie: Unh, uncle,
please, stay focused!
Jade: A cricket?
It's got to be a cricket from
the mountain temple, right?
Jade: Yes!
Jackie: Is that all, uncle?
Yes, I know my head is
as big as that statue!
Very kind of you
to point that out.
Jade:
- You want us to get something
from the top of the statue?
Jackie:
Oh, ok, sounds like
Jade: Throw!
Jackie:
Hurl! Fling! Toss!
Jade: Sounds like toss?
Tohru:
- You toss like a little girl!
Jackie: Yaah! Stop it!
We do not have time
for your bickering, tohru!
Uh, tohru's mom!
Oh, forget it!
Boss? Cross? Floss?
Aaah! Oh!
Uggh! Moss?
We need moss from the top
of the ghost king's statue!
Jackie: Ooh!
Bad day, bad day, bad day!
Spirit #2: Hee hee hee!
Yeow! Unh!
Jade: Hey, Jackie!
Jackie: Jade?
How did you get up here?
Jade: Duh!
Took the tram.
I'm stubborn, not stupid.
Tohru: Why you overpay for
rusty old cricket cage?
I did much better job
negotiating
- new headphones for Jade.
(Cricket chirping)
(Tohru laughs)
Tohru: You call that
cricket catching?
You couldn't catch a cold!
Boy: You're so greedy!
Brother: Stop being
so jealous all the time!
Boy: Am not!
Brother: Are, too! Aah!
Man: Ohh,
- I was afraid of this.
I knew I shouldn't have had
szechuan chicken for lunch.
Ohh, bad heartburn!
Man: Hey,
get away from my cart!
Ohh, feels like
my stomach's on fire!
Jade:
Hee-haw! Jackie, look!
There's the moss
uncle needs for the spell!
Jackie: Ohhh!
Jade: Whoa there,
humpty dumpty.
Here, I better do it.
Give me a boost.
Jackie: Ooh!
Watch where you're stepping!
Jade: I would,
but I can't see anything
with your overstuffed
cabesa in the way.
Almost got it!
Uh-oh!
(Braying)
Jackie: Aah, Jade!
Watch where you're kicking!
Jade:
Please, Jackie, hold still!
Got it!
Both: Whoa!
Aah!
Both: Aaaaaah!
Unh!
Both: Whew!
Both: Aah!
Unh!
Ohhhh!
Unh!
Jackie: Unh!
- Jade, are you all right?
Jade: I think I swallowed
the moss. Ptoo!
Oh, no, wait!
There it is! Hee-haw!
Tohru: Ha! In your face,
junk seller!
Tohru: Now you're going
to throw a tantrum?
What?!
Tohru: Aah!
Jackie: Uncle!
Jackie: The mirror spirits
are spreading their fear!
You weren't supposed
to touch anyone!
Jade:
If they reach the mainland,
they'll infect the whole city!
And then who knows?
Like, all of China?
Jade: Nothing's happening.
Tohru: That's because
the old windbag
is nothing but wind!
(Mumbling)
Jackie: Uncle, please,
this is no time to fight!
Jade: No, listen!
Uncle's moving tohru's lips
to chant the binding spell!
(Tohru chanting)
Spirit #2: Ohhh!
Spirit #1: Yaiii!
Lead spirit: Roarrr!
Spirit #3: Baaah!
Tohru: Uh, sensei,
àwhile I was my mother,
uh, well, I'm sorry.
Uncle: Not now, tohru!
Jackie, the mirror!
(All screaming)
(All grunt)
Spirit #2:
What are we going to do?
Lead spirit: Do not fear!
Below us lies
our passage to freedom!
The world will be ours
and chaos will reign
for all eternity!
(All laughing)
Uncle: Jackie, mirror spirits
must not reach ship!
Jackie: But the mirror shard,
it's gone!
Jade: Uncle, will
the binding spell work with
anything that reflects?
Uncle: It is possible. Why?
Jade: Jackie!
(Uncle chanting)
Jackie:
The disk must be full.
We need more
reflective objects!
Tohru: What? My mom left it
behind during her last trip.
(Uncle chanting)
Spirit #2: Owww!
Spirit #3: Aaah!
Jade: 3 down, 1 to go!
Go, Jackie! Go, Jackie!
All: Aaaah!
Jackie: Ohh!
(Gasping)
Lead spirit:
You're too late!
Jade: Oh, yeah?
Well, in your face,
mirror boy!
Lead spirit: Aah!
Jade: But, hey, I guess
I'm just stubborn that way.
Jackie: These will be safe
back at section 13.
Jade: Too bad we can't
come back to fengdo.
This place turned out
to be a lot more exiting
than I thought it'd be.
Sorry, uncle, I guess
I should have been listening.
Jackie: Me, too.
Uncle: Apologies accepted.
But tohru is another story!
Mirror spirits turn you
into mother
is no excuse for the way
you talk to uncle,
especially when nobody
can hear uncle's snappy
comebacks!
Jade: Hey, Jackie,
did you have any imaginary
friends as a child?
Jackie: Actually, I don't.
Especially
when I was in the school.
We had, like,
a hundred students.
We sleep together,
we eat together,
we play,
- we're training together,
so I actually don't,
because of so many
martial artist
sisters and brothers.