Son of a Critch (2022) s05e06 Episode Script
Musical Chairs
1
ADULT MARK (V.O.): I was
excited for my last year
of high school because the grade 12s
always got the leads in the school play.
I was a shoo-in.
[VOCALIZING]
ADULT MARK (V.O.): But
this year, Holy Heart
was doing a musical,
which meant Mr. Lewis
and Sister Rose would co-direct.
MR. LEWIS: Okay, hang on. Hang on.
Feel the text, kid.
Okay, the music don't matter.
The music is the important part.
Hence it being a "musical."
Yes, but
but there's nothing to sing
without the words, right?
No one will hear the words
if their ears are bleeding
from the off-key screeching of
a pack of pubescent banshees.
[SINGLE PIANO NOTE]
She's like the swallow
that flies so high ♪
She's like the river
that never runs dry ♪
She's like the sunshine
on the lee shore ♪
I love my love
and love is no more ♪
I'm gonna throw up.
Relax. You'll do great.
That's easy for you to say.
I don't mind singing, but I'm no actor.
You're the best actor in school.
SISTER ROSE: Critch!
- Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]
- Break a leg.
Ah.
Start with the song, Mr. Critch.
- The song?
- Mm-hm.
Are you sure? I
♪
Thanks for the tow, Dad.
Should have hired a proper mechanic.
This is reverse nepotism.
Oh, frig off, Pat.
Ah
Oh, Dad, you okay?
Yeah I-I just needs a drop of water.
Oh, he'll be wanting to pee next.
Oh, will you ju
[GROANS]
Dad? Whoa!
I didn't touch him!
ADULT MARK (V.O.): The
posting of the cast list.
A little public humiliation
to start the day.
Now, no matter what happens,
remember there are no small parts.
Only small actors.
I can't look.
I got the Harp!
That's the female lead!
Congratulations.
I look forward to working together.
[SIGHS] Come on, buddy.
Time to face the music.
No way
I'm Jack!
I-I got the male lead!
What?
Let me see that.
[TENSE MUSIC]
MARK: Uh
♪
Narrator?
Uh, Kev! Uh, I mean, sir.
What the hell?
- What?
- I gotta get into theatre school.
I needed that for my résumé.
I'm sorry, Mark, it's outta my hands.
The nun. Sh
She's scary.
But I'm still workin'
on her, though, okay?
I'm gonna try to get
you to be the giant, too.
Okay. Does the giant sing?
Well, he mostly says,
"Fee, fi, fo, fum,"
but I know you'll sell
the hell out of it, right?
Right.
But I
You know, it will be a big change,
but it's what's best for the family.
- What's wrong?
- Uh, nothing.
Uh, well [SIGHS]
Sweetie
times have been really tough and, um
The market here is dead.
Nobody's buying houses anymore,
and everybody is moving to Alberta,
and I thought, when they get there,
they're gonna need somewhere to live.
So, we're gonna be
BOTH: People From Home Selling Homes ♪
To People From Home! ♪
We're movin' to Alberta.
What?! No! No way!
Yes, way. Sucks.
Nothing for me here, anyway.
Okay, my whole life is here.
I have school and Mark, and
you are so friggin' selfish!
Maybe you're the one being
just a little bit selfish.
Where's Jason?
He's gone to his father's.
So am I.
[SOMBRE MUSIC]
[SIGHS]
Ah.
[POP SNORING]
Oh Get up, you!
What? Oh, oh, like a bad penny.
Move it.
No, no, don't mind me, okay?
Look, I-I'll just sit here for
Oh, my God.
MARY: No. Raise your head.
POPPY BELL: Ah
Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm fine.
Ah, after getting outta
that bloody hospital,
I just wants to go home.
Shall I call you a cab?
MARY: [SIGHS]
The doctor said you are not allowed
to go to your own place alone,
so you will stay here with
us the next couple of weeks.
Weeks?!
Well, if you say so.
Just don't go makin' a fuss now.
Oh
But, yeah, if you got the kettle on,
I'd have a cup of tea.
Oh.
And if you're making
something for yourself,
I'll have a bickie or a bun or
- a sandwich?
- What kind?
Oh, it doesn't matter.
Could be anything.
Ham?
Oh we have none, but
I'll run out and grab some.
No, maid. I-I don't want to be a burden.
I-I'll just have the tea.
I don't need nothing to eat.
Aw
Oh, I feels right dizzy.
I'll pop right down to Coleman's.
Um
I wouldn't mind some hard cheese.
We don't have the money
for that, you old fool!
Ham?
Well, make yourself at home.
♪
I
A narrator.
Can you believe it?
A narrator.
Mr. Lewis is powerless.
The music nerds have
hijacked the school play.
They have taken the
drama out of Drama Club.
I'm sensing a lot of drama.
"Jack and the Beanstalk,"
I mean, that's for kids.
I don't know
a kid going off someplace
they've never been,
maybe never coming back again
sounds pretty realistic to me.
Is something wrong?
No. I'm fine.
I'm not.
I'm sorry. I've been going
on about myself again.
You know you can tell
me anything, right?
Whatever it is, we'll
get through it together.
I'm always here.
Right?
Yeah.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
Just go to rehearsal,
dummy. We can talk after.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
Yeah, we got all the
time in the world, right?
I'll see you after class.
Yeah.
- Wait for me!
- Yeah.
[UPBEAT PIANO MUSIC]
[SIGHS]
♪
Up in the clouds where
the cows don't moo ♪
I'll pluck my strings
and I'll sing for you ♪
MARK: Jack crept up the harp,
his heart beating out of his chest.
SISTER ROSE: Stop.
What is the narrator doing downstage?
Mark, try moving further upstage right.
Okay. Um
SISTER ROSE: Eh, further.
Further
- MR. LEWIS: No, that's good. That's good.
- SISTER ROSE: No, no.
Further, further.
That's fine. That's good, Mark.
Over
MR. LEWIS: Stop, stop.
Over.
Over!
Over!
Very good.
He can do the narration from there.
How do we even see him over there?
It's perfect. Mark him.
ADULT MARK (V.O.): Narration is
an under-appreciated art form.
We're buyin' Red Rose now?
Where's the Tetley?
Her father likes Red Rose better.
This has always been a Tetley house.
Well, it's his house now.
And let me show you something.
Look at this.
Why's the butter in the fridge?
It'll get all hard.
Yeah.
He says it lasts longer this way.
Lucky if it lasts a day, by
the way he goes through toast.
And another thing
this is not butter.
I read the wrapper.
Margarine.
[KETTLE WHISTLING]
Dad wants a cup of tea.
- Now look, Mary
- Mm-hm?
Um
We're all concerned about your father.
Yup.
But, uh, this here's a kitchen,
and a kitchen can't have too many cooks.
Go on.
So, we've been thinking, and I
just don't think there's room
for, uh, everyone.
So, there's room enough
for your father
but not room for mine?
Exactly.
Listen up, you two.
My father needs rest,
and if either of you stresses him out,
it'll be you in the hospital
getting my slipper
removed from your arse!
[SPOON CLATTERS]
♪
God, just look at him.
Sunning himself like a seal on a rock.
What the frig?
I'm not goin'.
You've got no choice. Mom said.
Oh, I got a good thing goin' here!
I got me a teaching career.
You're a janitor!
In a school! That means I'm a teacher.
Okay, well, where are
you gonna live, dummy?
Here! Dad's place.
Dad took off with
that missus from bingo.
Yeah, so his place is empty.
Look, welfare owns it, and
I got the same name as him.
So, I can just take it over.
No one will know.
Shag Alberta.
♪
[GAME SHOW PLAYING ON TV]
Here. Put this on.
You don't wanna catch your death
while His Majesty sleeps in your room.
I don't mind.
Hey, is Poppy Bell okay?
Ah, he'll live.
Got your mother's genes.
Hard as nails, that crowd.
Do you think he'll end up staying?
[EXHALES] Ah, over my dead body.
He's like a rat
trying to get in under
the porch for the winter.
Ah, you gotta protect what's yours.
Stand your ground.
ADULT MARK (V.O.): If Pop
was going to stand his ground,
so was I.
[GROANS]
Oh, God.
He's done my crossword.
Hey!
Get Mark and Pop to the theatre okay?
Yes. I hate to miss it,
but I can't go leaving Dad.
What's this?
Butter.
You know Dad likes it in the fridge.
Did you say "butter"?
Are you trying to kill him?
[SIGHS] Mary, at my age,
I've earned a bit of soft butter.
- Are you serious right now?
- It's just butter.
It's not just butter! It's my dad!
After all that I do
for you and your father!
He's got the whole
place turned on its head.
I didn't ask you to do it for him.
I asked you to do it for me.
And you can't be bothered.
Now, Mary
[SIGHS]
My grandson is a fantastic actor.
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]
ADULT MARK (V.O.): They
could try to sideline me,
but even in the wings,
I was ready to give a
performance they'd never forget.
Once upon a time, there
was a boy named Jack.
[PIANO PLAYING]
RITCHE: There's a
giant in the clouds ♪
I'm full of beans ♪
Gonna make my mama proud ♪
I'm full of beans ♪
You don't know beans, Mom ♪
Can't you see ♪
Don't wanna harp about it ♪
But she's "bean" stalking me ♪
I'll spill the beans ♪
Oh, what I've seen ♪
Spill the beans ♪
If you'd only been
where I've been ♪
I'll spill the beans ♪
How many more songs can
they sing about beans?
ADULT MARK (V.O.): I could write
a better musical in my sleep.
I'm a little asthmatic
and very dramatic ♪
They say I'm too old for my age ♪
With my nose often runny ♪
They say that I'm funny ♪
And that I was
born for the stage ♪
Oh, I'm a real son of a Critch ♪
BOTH: He's a real
son of a Critch ♪
I'm a real ♪
He's a real ♪
Son of a Critch! ♪
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
♪
It's your cue, Mark!
What?! Uh
Uh
[BREATHING NERVOUSLY]
[THUD OVER MICROPHONE]
The beans worked!
Oh, how they worked!
They worked
a little too well.
They started growing
and growing
and growing!
- [PIANO STARTS PLAYING]
- Growing
And growing!
CHORUS: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
We're going to the sky ♪
We're going to the sky ♪
I'm going to the sky! ♪
CHORUS: Going to the,
going to the, going to the ♪
Going to the ♪
Sky! ♪
MAN: Which one's your grandson again?
Huh? Uh
Oh, uh, the Filipino kid.
[APPLAUSE]
That one.
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]
What the hell do you think you're doing?
I'm sorry if you're upset,
but it's the senior play.
This is my big goodbye.
It's everyone's big
goodbye. Not just yours.
That was really not cool.
[SOMBRE MUSIC]
Okay.
[SEAT BELT CLICKS]
All right, I'll miss you now.
You be good, okay?
Frig off, b'y. I'm a mainlander now.
Mom
[SOFT, SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]
[EXHALES SHAKILY]
Love you.
[ENGINE STARTS]
♪
♪
♪
[CRYING]
♪
Mark!
Stay out of the nun's way.
I'll handle it, all right?
She might be strong,
but she's not very fast.
SISTER ROSE: Critch! Where are you?
[SIGHS]
I feel terrible.
Hey, you're an excellent actor, b'y.
And an okay singer?
You're an excellent actor.
Thanks.
I wanna go to theatre school,
but now how am I gonna get in?
Oh, you're gonna go for it, huh?
I didn't think you were that serious.
I didn't think so either.
But missing out on that
role makes me realize
how much I want this.
More than anything,
all I wanna do is act.
And so you will.
Dedication, my man, that's all it takes.
What's it gonna look
like on my application
when I couldn't even
get the role of the cow
in my high school play?
I hear you, but there's
one part of acting
I haven't told you about yet.
Yeah? What's that?
Lying on your resume.
- SISTER ROSE: Critch!
- Come on, hurry on out of it now.
Okay.
The real giant's gettin' closer.
You hide here. Hide here.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
♪
MARY: What's going on?
Uh, I-I think it's time I went home.
Oh, don't be so foolish!
Oh, I'm only in the way, girl.
Makin' a mess of things for ya.
Well, a mess is what makes it a home.
[CHUCKLES]
That's good. I like that.
Besides, the way
everything is going, and
the boys growin' up, it's [SIGHS]
it's just a lotta changes.
And it's so nice to have my dad here.
You're my anchor, you know?
But you know, Mary
you're the anchor now.
Aren't ya?
You'll be all right. Oh, uh
Here, a little help.
- No, Dad
- No, I pays me way.
- Oh [SIGHS]
- No, sorry, but it's not fit
makin' trouble for your
daughter in her own house.
You're not makin' any
trouble. You're very welcome.
And
What's mine is yours.
[EXHALES]
But the butter stays out of the fridge.
But the margarine stays in.
[CHUCKLES]
You're stayin'. [GIGGLES]
Fair enough.
ADULT MARK (V.O.): When
you want something bad,
it's easy to lose sight
of what really matters.
Fee, fi, fo, fum!
ADULT MARK (V.O.):
Sometimes you're the star.
Other times, your job is to
hold the light for someone else.
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]
Whoo!
TV: At the risk of sounding
like a broken record
ADULT MARK (V.O.): But it's
worth swallowing your pride.
TV: it's going to be
sunny, rainy, and a lot of wind.
So, make sure you take your jacket.
[SOFT, WISTFUL MUSIC]
♪
Nice job, Pavarotti.
That's it, right?
There's no more shows?
I-I get you back now?
Fox, what's wrong?
I didn't wanna distract you. But
What is it?
Something really bad. [CRYING]
ADULT MARK (V.O.): When it matters most,
a supporting role is the most
important part we have to play.
- It's all right.
- [CRYING]
♪
♪
♪
♪
♪
ADULT MARK (V.O.): I was
excited for my last year
of high school because the grade 12s
always got the leads in the school play.
I was a shoo-in.
[VOCALIZING]
ADULT MARK (V.O.): But
this year, Holy Heart
was doing a musical,
which meant Mr. Lewis
and Sister Rose would co-direct.
MR. LEWIS: Okay, hang on. Hang on.
Feel the text, kid.
Okay, the music don't matter.
The music is the important part.
Hence it being a "musical."
Yes, but
but there's nothing to sing
without the words, right?
No one will hear the words
if their ears are bleeding
from the off-key screeching of
a pack of pubescent banshees.
[SINGLE PIANO NOTE]
She's like the swallow
that flies so high ♪
She's like the river
that never runs dry ♪
She's like the sunshine
on the lee shore ♪
I love my love
and love is no more ♪
I'm gonna throw up.
Relax. You'll do great.
That's easy for you to say.
I don't mind singing, but I'm no actor.
You're the best actor in school.
SISTER ROSE: Critch!
- Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]
- Break a leg.
Ah.
Start with the song, Mr. Critch.
- The song?
- Mm-hm.
Are you sure? I
♪
Thanks for the tow, Dad.
Should have hired a proper mechanic.
This is reverse nepotism.
Oh, frig off, Pat.
Ah
Oh, Dad, you okay?
Yeah I-I just needs a drop of water.
Oh, he'll be wanting to pee next.
Oh, will you ju
[GROANS]
Dad? Whoa!
I didn't touch him!
ADULT MARK (V.O.): The
posting of the cast list.
A little public humiliation
to start the day.
Now, no matter what happens,
remember there are no small parts.
Only small actors.
I can't look.
I got the Harp!
That's the female lead!
Congratulations.
I look forward to working together.
[SIGHS] Come on, buddy.
Time to face the music.
No way
I'm Jack!
I-I got the male lead!
What?
Let me see that.
[TENSE MUSIC]
MARK: Uh
♪
Narrator?
Uh, Kev! Uh, I mean, sir.
What the hell?
- What?
- I gotta get into theatre school.
I needed that for my résumé.
I'm sorry, Mark, it's outta my hands.
The nun. Sh
She's scary.
But I'm still workin'
on her, though, okay?
I'm gonna try to get
you to be the giant, too.
Okay. Does the giant sing?
Well, he mostly says,
"Fee, fi, fo, fum,"
but I know you'll sell
the hell out of it, right?
Right.
But I
You know, it will be a big change,
but it's what's best for the family.
- What's wrong?
- Uh, nothing.
Uh, well [SIGHS]
Sweetie
times have been really tough and, um
The market here is dead.
Nobody's buying houses anymore,
and everybody is moving to Alberta,
and I thought, when they get there,
they're gonna need somewhere to live.
So, we're gonna be
BOTH: People From Home Selling Homes ♪
To People From Home! ♪
We're movin' to Alberta.
What?! No! No way!
Yes, way. Sucks.
Nothing for me here, anyway.
Okay, my whole life is here.
I have school and Mark, and
you are so friggin' selfish!
Maybe you're the one being
just a little bit selfish.
Where's Jason?
He's gone to his father's.
So am I.
[SOMBRE MUSIC]
[SIGHS]
Ah.
[POP SNORING]
Oh Get up, you!
What? Oh, oh, like a bad penny.
Move it.
No, no, don't mind me, okay?
Look, I-I'll just sit here for
Oh, my God.
MARY: No. Raise your head.
POPPY BELL: Ah
Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm fine.
Ah, after getting outta
that bloody hospital,
I just wants to go home.
Shall I call you a cab?
MARY: [SIGHS]
The doctor said you are not allowed
to go to your own place alone,
so you will stay here with
us the next couple of weeks.
Weeks?!
Well, if you say so.
Just don't go makin' a fuss now.
Oh
But, yeah, if you got the kettle on,
I'd have a cup of tea.
Oh.
And if you're making
something for yourself,
I'll have a bickie or a bun or
- a sandwich?
- What kind?
Oh, it doesn't matter.
Could be anything.
Ham?
Oh we have none, but
I'll run out and grab some.
No, maid. I-I don't want to be a burden.
I-I'll just have the tea.
I don't need nothing to eat.
Aw
Oh, I feels right dizzy.
I'll pop right down to Coleman's.
Um
I wouldn't mind some hard cheese.
We don't have the money
for that, you old fool!
Ham?
Well, make yourself at home.
♪
I
A narrator.
Can you believe it?
A narrator.
Mr. Lewis is powerless.
The music nerds have
hijacked the school play.
They have taken the
drama out of Drama Club.
I'm sensing a lot of drama.
"Jack and the Beanstalk,"
I mean, that's for kids.
I don't know
a kid going off someplace
they've never been,
maybe never coming back again
sounds pretty realistic to me.
Is something wrong?
No. I'm fine.
I'm not.
I'm sorry. I've been going
on about myself again.
You know you can tell
me anything, right?
Whatever it is, we'll
get through it together.
I'm always here.
Right?
Yeah.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
Just go to rehearsal,
dummy. We can talk after.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
Yeah, we got all the
time in the world, right?
I'll see you after class.
Yeah.
- Wait for me!
- Yeah.
[UPBEAT PIANO MUSIC]
[SIGHS]
♪
Up in the clouds where
the cows don't moo ♪
I'll pluck my strings
and I'll sing for you ♪
MARK: Jack crept up the harp,
his heart beating out of his chest.
SISTER ROSE: Stop.
What is the narrator doing downstage?
Mark, try moving further upstage right.
Okay. Um
SISTER ROSE: Eh, further.
Further
- MR. LEWIS: No, that's good. That's good.
- SISTER ROSE: No, no.
Further, further.
That's fine. That's good, Mark.
Over
MR. LEWIS: Stop, stop.
Over.
Over!
Over!
Very good.
He can do the narration from there.
How do we even see him over there?
It's perfect. Mark him.
ADULT MARK (V.O.): Narration is
an under-appreciated art form.
We're buyin' Red Rose now?
Where's the Tetley?
Her father likes Red Rose better.
This has always been a Tetley house.
Well, it's his house now.
And let me show you something.
Look at this.
Why's the butter in the fridge?
It'll get all hard.
Yeah.
He says it lasts longer this way.
Lucky if it lasts a day, by
the way he goes through toast.
And another thing
this is not butter.
I read the wrapper.
Margarine.
[KETTLE WHISTLING]
Dad wants a cup of tea.
- Now look, Mary
- Mm-hm?
Um
We're all concerned about your father.
Yup.
But, uh, this here's a kitchen,
and a kitchen can't have too many cooks.
Go on.
So, we've been thinking, and I
just don't think there's room
for, uh, everyone.
So, there's room enough
for your father
but not room for mine?
Exactly.
Listen up, you two.
My father needs rest,
and if either of you stresses him out,
it'll be you in the hospital
getting my slipper
removed from your arse!
[SPOON CLATTERS]
♪
God, just look at him.
Sunning himself like a seal on a rock.
What the frig?
I'm not goin'.
You've got no choice. Mom said.
Oh, I got a good thing goin' here!
I got me a teaching career.
You're a janitor!
In a school! That means I'm a teacher.
Okay, well, where are
you gonna live, dummy?
Here! Dad's place.
Dad took off with
that missus from bingo.
Yeah, so his place is empty.
Look, welfare owns it, and
I got the same name as him.
So, I can just take it over.
No one will know.
Shag Alberta.
♪
[GAME SHOW PLAYING ON TV]
Here. Put this on.
You don't wanna catch your death
while His Majesty sleeps in your room.
I don't mind.
Hey, is Poppy Bell okay?
Ah, he'll live.
Got your mother's genes.
Hard as nails, that crowd.
Do you think he'll end up staying?
[EXHALES] Ah, over my dead body.
He's like a rat
trying to get in under
the porch for the winter.
Ah, you gotta protect what's yours.
Stand your ground.
ADULT MARK (V.O.): If Pop
was going to stand his ground,
so was I.
[GROANS]
Oh, God.
He's done my crossword.
Hey!
Get Mark and Pop to the theatre okay?
Yes. I hate to miss it,
but I can't go leaving Dad.
What's this?
Butter.
You know Dad likes it in the fridge.
Did you say "butter"?
Are you trying to kill him?
[SIGHS] Mary, at my age,
I've earned a bit of soft butter.
- Are you serious right now?
- It's just butter.
It's not just butter! It's my dad!
After all that I do
for you and your father!
He's got the whole
place turned on its head.
I didn't ask you to do it for him.
I asked you to do it for me.
And you can't be bothered.
Now, Mary
[SIGHS]
My grandson is a fantastic actor.
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]
ADULT MARK (V.O.): They
could try to sideline me,
but even in the wings,
I was ready to give a
performance they'd never forget.
Once upon a time, there
was a boy named Jack.
[PIANO PLAYING]
RITCHE: There's a
giant in the clouds ♪
I'm full of beans ♪
Gonna make my mama proud ♪
I'm full of beans ♪
You don't know beans, Mom ♪
Can't you see ♪
Don't wanna harp about it ♪
But she's "bean" stalking me ♪
I'll spill the beans ♪
Oh, what I've seen ♪
Spill the beans ♪
If you'd only been
where I've been ♪
I'll spill the beans ♪
How many more songs can
they sing about beans?
ADULT MARK (V.O.): I could write
a better musical in my sleep.
I'm a little asthmatic
and very dramatic ♪
They say I'm too old for my age ♪
With my nose often runny ♪
They say that I'm funny ♪
And that I was
born for the stage ♪
Oh, I'm a real son of a Critch ♪
BOTH: He's a real
son of a Critch ♪
I'm a real ♪
He's a real ♪
Son of a Critch! ♪
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
♪
It's your cue, Mark!
What?! Uh
Uh
[BREATHING NERVOUSLY]
[THUD OVER MICROPHONE]
The beans worked!
Oh, how they worked!
They worked
a little too well.
They started growing
and growing
and growing!
- [PIANO STARTS PLAYING]
- Growing
And growing!
CHORUS: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
We're going to the sky ♪
We're going to the sky ♪
I'm going to the sky! ♪
CHORUS: Going to the,
going to the, going to the ♪
Going to the ♪
Sky! ♪
MAN: Which one's your grandson again?
Huh? Uh
Oh, uh, the Filipino kid.
[APPLAUSE]
That one.
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]
What the hell do you think you're doing?
I'm sorry if you're upset,
but it's the senior play.
This is my big goodbye.
It's everyone's big
goodbye. Not just yours.
That was really not cool.
[SOMBRE MUSIC]
Okay.
[SEAT BELT CLICKS]
All right, I'll miss you now.
You be good, okay?
Frig off, b'y. I'm a mainlander now.
Mom
[SOFT, SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]
[EXHALES SHAKILY]
Love you.
[ENGINE STARTS]
♪
♪
♪
[CRYING]
♪
Mark!
Stay out of the nun's way.
I'll handle it, all right?
She might be strong,
but she's not very fast.
SISTER ROSE: Critch! Where are you?
[SIGHS]
I feel terrible.
Hey, you're an excellent actor, b'y.
And an okay singer?
You're an excellent actor.
Thanks.
I wanna go to theatre school,
but now how am I gonna get in?
Oh, you're gonna go for it, huh?
I didn't think you were that serious.
I didn't think so either.
But missing out on that
role makes me realize
how much I want this.
More than anything,
all I wanna do is act.
And so you will.
Dedication, my man, that's all it takes.
What's it gonna look
like on my application
when I couldn't even
get the role of the cow
in my high school play?
I hear you, but there's
one part of acting
I haven't told you about yet.
Yeah? What's that?
Lying on your resume.
- SISTER ROSE: Critch!
- Come on, hurry on out of it now.
Okay.
The real giant's gettin' closer.
You hide here. Hide here.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
♪
MARY: What's going on?
Uh, I-I think it's time I went home.
Oh, don't be so foolish!
Oh, I'm only in the way, girl.
Makin' a mess of things for ya.
Well, a mess is what makes it a home.
[CHUCKLES]
That's good. I like that.
Besides, the way
everything is going, and
the boys growin' up, it's [SIGHS]
it's just a lotta changes.
And it's so nice to have my dad here.
You're my anchor, you know?
But you know, Mary
you're the anchor now.
Aren't ya?
You'll be all right. Oh, uh
Here, a little help.
- No, Dad
- No, I pays me way.
- Oh [SIGHS]
- No, sorry, but it's not fit
makin' trouble for your
daughter in her own house.
You're not makin' any
trouble. You're very welcome.
And
What's mine is yours.
[EXHALES]
But the butter stays out of the fridge.
But the margarine stays in.
[CHUCKLES]
You're stayin'. [GIGGLES]
Fair enough.
ADULT MARK (V.O.): When
you want something bad,
it's easy to lose sight
of what really matters.
Fee, fi, fo, fum!
ADULT MARK (V.O.):
Sometimes you're the star.
Other times, your job is to
hold the light for someone else.
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]
Whoo!
TV: At the risk of sounding
like a broken record
ADULT MARK (V.O.): But it's
worth swallowing your pride.
TV: it's going to be
sunny, rainy, and a lot of wind.
So, make sure you take your jacket.
[SOFT, WISTFUL MUSIC]
♪
Nice job, Pavarotti.
That's it, right?
There's no more shows?
I-I get you back now?
Fox, what's wrong?
I didn't wanna distract you. But
What is it?
Something really bad. [CRYING]
ADULT MARK (V.O.): When it matters most,
a supporting role is the most
important part we have to play.
- It's all right.
- [CRYING]
♪
♪
♪
♪
♪