The Boys (2019) s05e06 Episode Script

1
[screaming]
No!
[Hughie] This virus kills just Homelander?
- Or every Supe?
- [Butcher] Don't know.
But we'll have a laugh
finding out, won't we?
If Homelander got his hands on some V1,
then, theoretically,
he'd be like Soldier Boy.
Immune to the virus. Maybe even immortal.
I want our entire pharma division
working on nothing but recreating
the V1 formula.
Vought destroyed the original formula.
That could take years.
- Do you have V1?
- I don't.
But Bombsight does.
That piece of shit's still alive?
[Homelander] Clara Vought's name came up.
I guess we're related
in more ways than one.
- Where is she?
- Dead.
- Suicide.
- Horse shit.
[Sage] Homelander is an open baby book,
but Soldier Boy is tricky.
I need you to read his mind.
- I said hallelujah…!
- [gasps]
[Black Noir] You send an eel to ass-murder
Adam Bourke?
Here's what's gonna happen now.
You fucking do whatever I say
whenever I say it.
You know who this is? This is The Legend.
I was balls deep in Golden Geisha,
and Marlon Brando
was apparently balls deep in me.
I was visited by an angel,
and she foretold my destiny.
What is it?
I'm the savior of the world.
[tense music playing]
[Dean Martin sings
"Ain't That a Kick in the Head"]
How lucky can one guy be ♪
[sniffing]
I kissed her and she kissed me ♪
Like the fella once said,
"Ain't that a kick in the head?" ♪
The room was completely black ♪
I hugged her and she hugged back…
Thanks for visiting VMC Theaters,
where it's always a super day
for the movies.
[soda machine fizzing]
Hey! I see you putting Fanta
in the water cup, you little bastard.
You got to pay for that!
- Dude.
- Hmm?
You were supposed to refill
the popcorn machine an hour ago.
I was just gonna do it.
[muttering]
Relax.
[sniffs]
Ooh!
You know what this smell reminds me of?
Miriam Liebowitz.
I met her
at a B'nai B'rith Purim carnival.
And, uh…
I shoved my grogger up her hamantashen,
if you catch my drift.
We fucked.
Just don't forget to clean out
the nacho cheese spigot.
Yes, boss.
[sighs]
Hey, thanks for visiting VMC Theaters,
where it's always a super day
for the movies.
Can I interest you in one
of our new Deep popcorn buckets?
Chet Vanderbilt, huh?
Yes.
It's my totally legit
and believable real name.
You're a hard man to find.
Well, can you blame me?
Vought would bury me under
all the fucking dirt that I got on them.
So maybe you don't get a job
at a Vought movie theater?
What,
and leave show business?
We need to talk.
Ain't that a kick in the head? ♪
♪
Tanner, I'm going on a break!
- [gentle music playing]
- [Firecracker] We come to VMC Theaters
to laugh, to cry,
to see our biggest heroes
on the biggest screens.
And to get a complimentary Deep popcorn
bucket with every large combo meal.
Because we need that,
every dang one of us,
the indescribable feeling we get
when the lights go down
and we go someplace
we ain't never been before.
- In here, we're not just entertained…
- [Mother's Milk] We're looking for one
of your old bump buddies.
- Bombsight.
- [Firecracker] But somehow…
[The Legend] Wish I could help.
Our noses haven't crossed in years.
Heard he got clean.
Still,
you got to be able
to get a message to him.
Nah. Even if I could, which I can't,
uh, he-he's not a shitbag bear
you want to poke.
If we don't get to him first,
Homelander's gonna get the V1 that
we're pretty sure Bombsight's holding.
Wait, wait, V1?
We destroyed all those doses.
Are you shitting me?
[sighs] What nudnik
told Homelander about V1?
Doesn't matter.
Point is, Homelander finds it,
it's game fucking over.
Aw, Marvin.
A year ago, I-I had a good thing going.
My penthouse was paid off.
I got the best table at Elaine's
on two minutes' notice.
And then Homelander
starts his fucking purge,
my accounts are frozen,
I'm living off day-old Noir Nuggets
out of the freezer here.
- You getting to a point?
- My point is,
I'm full of shit sandwich,
thank you very much.
[orchestral music playing]
Let me make this clear.
You either help us
or I cut your fucking balls off.
Y-Y-Y-You sound like Butcher now,
you know that?
[chuckles] It's not a great look
for you, kid.
Having said that, I…
I do still need my balls for stuff.
All right.
Fuck it.
I guess we'll poke the shitbag bear.
[Sage] Hopefully
the 35th try is the charm.
[groaning]
[groaning continues]
[flatulence]
[flatulence]
Hey. You wanted to see me, boss?
[yelling]
Is he supposed to be bleeding out
of his ass like that?
Ideally, no.
- [Deep] Yo, you guys seen Firecracker?
- [flatulence]
She was gonna come on the pod.
Firecracker's moved on to a better place.
Orlando?
[yelling continues]
Oh. Oh, sh…
- Shit. Oh, no.
- Yeah.
Why? What happened?
- [flatulence]
- We just don't have any more room
in the boat for, uh…
nonbelievers.
I'm on th… I like boats.
Me and boats are like that.
Sir, I…
I believe in you, sir. I…
Which is why we have
an important job for you.
Some protestors have blocked
a new Vought Petroleum pipeline
in the Bering Sea.
Right. The one in Africa.
Just off the coast of Alaska.
Anyway, when we announce
Homelander as our lord and savior,
the Saudis are gonna…
feel some big feelings.
OPEC will completely cut off
the supply of oil to the United States.
We need that pipeline fully operational
and those protestors gone.
Gone. [clicks tongue] I got you.
No. Uh, you will shoot a PSA
announcing the pipeline is safe
and fish love it.
You know, it's just that fish…
they don't love pipelines.
- In fact, they kinda fucking hate them.
- Mm.
Thought you were on the boat.
So what's more important,
Homelander or some fucking grouper?
Homelander. Homelander, of course.
Yeah. [clears throat] I'm on it.
I can't seem to replicate the V1 formula.
I'm sorry.
There's no way Frederick Vought
is smarter than you.
Keep swinging. You'll get there.
[flatulence]
- [Hozier sings "Take Me to Church"]
- My lover's got humor…
[Oh Father] Once there was a revolutionary
who roamed the hood,
challenged the Man.
They called him a loced-out troublemaker.
But he wasn't making trouble.
He was teaching love.
For America.
Come Home, as our very own
American prophet Homelander
delivers his weekly sermon,
streaming live every Sunday.
Come Home
- to the Democratic Church of America.
- We can't do this.
Just… just fucking…
No.
I told you, Hughie,
soon as the germ is ready, we go.
And according to Frenchie, it's ready.
[Frenchie] Oui, Monsieur Charcuter.
But I beg you…
- You got a way in?
- [Annie] I snuck
in and out of that church more times
than I can count as a teenager.
Timer set?
Twenty-four hours.
[spritz]
Aye.
Good.
Stick it somewhere close to the altar.
Nice and quiet-like.
Then, right in the middle of Homelander's
"lead us into temptation,
deliver us from evil" bollocks,
it'll spray a fresh pine scent
and a big dose of kill juice.
Cunt drops dead forever and ever.
Amen.
You don't have to enjoy it so much.
Oh, I beg to differ.
I am just asking you
to wait for a little bit longer.
- We can still get the V1…
- Yeah.
And so can he.
That's a risk we can't take.
We're out of time, mate.
Right?
[door opens]
- [Mother's Milk] Surprise, surprise.
- [door closes]
Butcher.
I've had anal warts
I've been more excited to see.
Ah, so your head's
still up your own ass, is it?
Let me ask you, did you pay extra
for this dead raccoon smell?
Closest hideout we had to you.
Starlight.
[chuckles] Well,
what a pleasure indeed.
You remind me of a young Ursula Andress.
- Ah.
- Timeless beauty.
She pissed on me once.
- Ugh.
- [Hughie] Yeah. He's a charmer.
Um, but you can help us find Bombsight?
Yeah, well, see, that's…
Okay, that's-that's the trick.
Uh, if Bombsight doesn't want to be found,
you can't… you can't find him.
So what you got… You got to go sideways.
You got to go through his lady,
Golden Geisha.
- Golden Geisha?
- [Annie] That name
doesn't sound racist at all.
Golden Geisha had a very steamy fuck scene
with Erik Estrada
in Operation: Orient.
Very progressive for the day.
But, hey, if anybody can get
a message to Bombsight,
yeah, Goldie can.
- And where can we find the old slag?
- Well,
Goldie's had some health issues lately.
She moved into the Villages.
- Vought Villages?
- Mm-hmm.
[Annie] It's a retirement home
for Supes.
[Mother's Milk] Well, if it's Vought,
then they have tight security. Think
you can get in and keep a low profile?
Does the Pope shit in the woods?
I want to come. Can I come?
[The Legend] Oh, yeah.
It'll be a treat for you.
- See what real stars look like.
- [Butcher] All right.
You two sort the church.
We'll have a word with Geisha,
see if we can find that V1
before the caped cunt.
Happy, guv?
- Um…
- [Butcher] Yeah.
He's happy. All right.
Let's get cracking.
Hey. Guys.
I need you to promise me…
We will find that V1, petit Hughie.
I promise you.
[door opens]
[Sage] We had a deal.
[Ashley] One, I was drunk.
Two, I never agreed to shit. She did.
Reading Homelander or Soldier Boy's minds?
If I wanted to commit suicide,
I'd asphyxiate myself.
At least then I'd get off first.
And, oh, yeah,
there's the tiny little detail of you
trying to bring on the fucking apocalypse.
I offered you a spot in my bunker.
I'm V.P.
Do you know how bad it would look
if the world ended on my watch?
I need to know if you're in
or if I need to move to plan B.
How 'bout Plan Go Fuck Yourself?
[chuckles] Okay.
Mm. People are so predictable.
- Plan B it is.
- [gasps]
[grunting]
- [shushing]
- [muffled protesting]
[groaning]
[muffled] What did you do?
What are you doing?
[grunts]
[panting]
- Okay.
- What the fuck?
What did you do?
Chloroform. Quiet.
[knocking]
[agent] Madam Vice President,
is everything all right in there?
Apocalypse or no,
I need your help.
- Uh…
- Homelander cannot become immortal,
- so send the agents away.
- [agent] Madam Vice President.
Uh…
I'm fine!
I'm fine. I just…
stubbed my toe.
Walking around,
as people do.
[agent] Do you need assistance?
No! Nope. I am all good.
So just stand down
and stand by.
[agent] Confirmation code?
Ginger Snap.
[sighs]
- You don't think they could tell?
- No, no.
- You did good.
- Okay.
All you have to do now is be in the room
and read Soldier Boy's mind.
[clattering]
[clanging]
I'll take care of the rest.
[sighs] Fuck.
[indistinct chatter]
I don't care how they did things
on the reservation.
You're in the big city now.
Here, I'm the chief.
- Me smell smoke.
- That's crazy.
- I don't smell anything.
- [secretary] Sir!
There's a fire at the old mill!
You know what,
you're gonna do all right here…
- Chief.
- Great Spirit say
let's get rolling.
[retro theme music playing]
[Kimiko] What is that smell? It's like…
hand sanitizer and lasagna?
That's what death smells like.
See the blonde over there?
I fucked her in '74.
Got me in the Mile High Club.
No plane.
- How is this low profile?
- I have fucked
or have been fucked
by 80% of these people.
There is not a pair of loose lips
in the bunch.
Not on their faces anyway.
But, yeah, listen, you know me,
I don't like to kiss and tell.
Oh, G-49.
- G-49.
- [clicks tongue]
Son of a whore.
I need B's.
Goldie.
Look at you!
Just as beautiful as that triple banger
we had in Marsha Mason's triple-banger.
There aren't enough rubbers on Earth
for me to fuck you again.
Just here to talk.
- She with you?
- [Kimiko] Kimiko.
Hi. Wow, uh, I'm a fan.
Big fan.
- Huge fan.
- Always knew
you had yellow fever.
Baby, I got all kinds of fever.
- I'm the United Colors of Fever.
- [Kimiko] I don't want to fuck him.
He is old and disgusting. [chuckles]
Okay, you know I can hear you
when you say that, right?
What the fuck do you want?
We need to talk to Bombsight.
- Get out.
- [The Legend] Goldie.
- Come on.
- Don't "Goldie" me.
You come in here and you bring him up?
Well, listen, there was a time
you and Bombsight were tighter
than Woody and Mia before Soon-Yi.
You must have a number at least.
Well, I don't.
Haven't seen him in years.
So kindly fuck off.
I have a game to win.
They bothering you, Goldie?
- No, we're not bothering anybody.
- [Golden Geisha] Yes,
- they really are.
- [Kimiko] We wouldn't be asking
if it wasn't important.
[The Legend] Okay! All right!
Take it easy there, Hot Flash.
[Kimiko] So Geisha told me
to eat her golden ass.
I dined at that establishment back in '78,
and the service was great.
[Butcher] The old bat's
nearly 80 and you can't make her talk?
We were surrounded. They might be old,
but they still have powers.
I didn't want to hurt
a bunch of old people.
[Butcher] Well,
that's just the thing, isn't it?
They aren't people, are they?
Look, if she won't get on board,
- we wait till she's alone.
- Yeah.
Asleep in her room. Nip in, grab her,
- chuck her in the van.
- Take her someplace quiet,
- make Bombsight come to us.
- [The Legend] No, no, no, no.
Absolutely not.
You lay a finger on Goldie,
Bombsight's never gonna help you.
Oh, bollocks.
As soon as he twigs she's in trouble,
- he'll come running.
- Those are my friends
in there. And I know you, Butcher.
Th-There's no way this doesn't end bloody.
A week from now,
all them geezers
will be pushing daisies anyway.
The fuck does that mean?
What did you…? Marvin,
talk some sense into him, would you?
Butcher's the only one
making any sense right now.
- [vehicle doors closing]
- What has happened to you, kid?
It's like you gone crazy.
The whole world's gone crazy.
I'm just catching up.
Go fuck yourself.
Go back to buttering popcorn.
Better than turning into whatever
the fuck you're turning into.
Pathetic.
Great news, my fellow eco-warriors.
Vought Petroleum has
an all-new offshore pipeline in Alaska
that will bring patriotic energy
independence to our proud nation.
Isn't oil bad for the environment?
[chuckles] No.
Oil is all-natural and organic.
It comes from the Earth.
And if we don't use it,
then all those dinosaurs
will have died for nothing.
And my coral friends just can't wait
to build their reefs on the new pipeline,
which will provide low-income housing
for our most vulnerable fish communities.
And, most importantly, I swam down there
and inspected the pipeline personally.
It's completely safe.
And you have the Deep's Green Guarantee
on that one.
[urinating]
[zipper closes]
Okay.
Good to go.
Hey, do you think…
we could wait here for a few minutes?
- [Hughie] Okay, so that one?
- [Annie] Mm-hmm.
It's like a rabbit
- but it's got way too many feet.
- Really?
I see a frog eating a dick.
This is definitely in my top five.
Top five what?
Things to do with you.
You're saying that like…
this is the last time
we're gonna get to do this.
Hey.
Listen to me.
The guys are gonna find Bombsight,
they'll get the V1.
You're not dying.
We will have plenty of time
to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
God, I don't know where it comes from.
This…
unshakeable hope.
Whenever I'd get upset as a kid,
which was a lot…
…my dad would always say,
"You know, son, life is
ten percent what happens to you
and 90% how you react."
And that was infuriating.
But then I spent a year
in an internment camp,
and I had no control over anything.
I'd just lay there at night, just…
…so fucking angry,
hearing my dad's voice in my head.
But then I finally understood
what he meant.
'Cause the only thing I had left was…
hope.
And it is really fucking hard
to hang on to, but I…
…I'm trying.
I think…
…you might be low-key
the strongest person I know.
- I'd prefer high-key…
- [chuckles]
…but thank you.
Mmm.
Look, it's-it's Big Bird eating a dick.
You see an unsettling amount
of dicks up there,
- I'm just saying.
- Mm-hmm.
[chuckles softly]
Why am I on a call sheet
for some church bullshit tomorrow?
Someone has to cover for Firecracker.
Unless you're too busy
helping Homelander find V1.
We're nowhere on the V1.
Huh. Really?
Nothing but dead ends.
Well, keep me posted.
Makeup is gonna need you in the chair
6:00 a.m.
They can feather my nut hair.
I'm busy tomorrow.
[door closes]
Holy fuck.
The inside of his head,
that was terrifying.
I'm not kidding.
I think I just shit Ashley's pants.
They have a lead on V1?
Yes. Some guy named Bombsight
who Soldier Boy hates.
Homelander has all of Crime Analytics
looking for him.
With orders not to tell you.
And where's Soldier Boy's head
in all this?
You were right. He's thinking
about helping Homelander.
Like, he-he's kind of proud of him
but h-he doesn't want him to know
that he's proud of him?
- So what's the plan?
- Don't worry.
Saw this coming a mile away.
It's handled.
By the morning, V1 will be toast.
Where are you going?
Got to cut my tracking chip out.
Never coming here again.
It's time for phase three.
- Wait, but what should I…
- [door opens]
A-Are you really just leaving me here?
Fuck.
[old-timey music playing]
What's got you looking blue, little lady?
Gee, Bombsight, it's just, Henry's
noticed that I've put on a few pounds.
Gettin' hefty, are you?
You must not be using
Vought Brand Weight Control Tablets.
Just take one with breakfast,
or better yet, instead of breakfast!
Our patented methamphetamine formula
will melt away that ugly belly fat
and give you pep in your step.
[Mary-Beth] Thanks, Bombsight!
Henry will be thrilled!
[Bombsight] You bet he will.
Shit.
Hey, Goldie.
Night night.
[Golden Geisha sighs]
[grunting, panting]
[old-timey music continues]
[mysterious music playing]
Not so fast, white man.
This one's for you, M.
Fuck you.
- [Chic sings "Le Freak"]
- Ah, freak out ♪
Le freak ♪
c'est chic ♪
Freak out ♪
[grunting]
Have you heard about
the new dance craze? ♪
Stop.
I'm sure you'll be amazed ♪
It's called Le Freak…
[screaming]
[choking]
Ah, freak out ♪
No! You'll kill him!
C'est chic, freak out ♪
[Kimiko cries out]
Just come on down to the 54 ♪
And find a spot out on the floor ♪
Ah, freak out ♪
♪
What is taking you so long… Oh.
[groans]
[Soldier Boy] You sure
this is the right address?
[Homelander] I'm sure.
Well, there's no sign of Bombsight…
or fucking anyone.
Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
[moaning over video]
[Homelander] Come on, rub it.
Rub it with your stump.
Oh, yeah, just like that.
- [Stormfront speaking German]
- [Homelander] Oh…
- [Stormfront continues in German]
- [squishing]
[laptop closes]
What the fuck was that?
I can explain.
That was Clara.
You told me she killed herself.
She did.
After Ryan did that to her.
- It's his fault.
- So then, what,
you locked her in your apartment
- like some kind of amputee fuck doll?
- No.
- And filmed her for kicks?
- No. No. No!
It wasn't like that. I did…
I did everything I could
to-to keep her alive,
to-to make her happy… [grunts]
[Homelander groans softly]
[sniffles] Just listen to me.
Okay, it wasn't all like… that.
I couldn't let her go.
I didn't know how.
Because I loved her.
And so did you.
You're goddamn right I loved her.
She wouldn't want us fighting over her…
Don't fucking tell me what she would want.
You knew her for five minutes,
I was with her for decades.
Hold-hold-hold on.
This-this is a setup.
Someone's trying to separate us.
This has been plan…
Fucking Sage.
It's Sage.
You see?
She's trying to screw with us.
Oh, come on.
I can't find the V1 without you.
Good.
You don't deserve to live forever.
[suspenseful music playing]
- [beeps]
- [sighs] Security cameras are looped.
[Annie] Who are they?
It's almost every psychic in the country.
What the fuck does Homelander
want with all of them?
[distant voices]
[Annie] Oh, my God.
It's Firecracker.
[whispering] Jesus.
I mean, it had to be Homelander, right?
You'd think I'd feel relieved,
but I just feel sad.
I mean, she's a human being.
Maybe that's why Homelander killed her.
- [line rings]
- [modem trilling]
That a fuckin' fax machine?
Yeah, it's the last of the numbers
she had for him.
Oi. 23 fucking numbers you had for
Bombsight, and they're all fucking shite?
Do you know how to delete them?
I was telling you the truth.
I have no idea where Bombsight is,
or how to reach him.
So just let me go.
Kimiko, keep an eye on her.
Fuck do we do now?
Fetch us some pliers
and put the screws to her.
She knows more than she's lettin' on.
Or she doesn't.
I'm sorry,
but she's not that good of an actress.
He's right.
Ooh, I know, the villain
switching sides in the final hour?
What a twist, a shock that never happens.
But unclench those assholes, fellas.
I'm here to help.
I'm a free agent now.
I came alone.
You can shoot me in the heart
whenever you like.
That's a good idea.
That would go against our mutual interest.
Which is?
Stopping a petulant, laser-eyed narcissist
from also becoming immortal.
I want him dead as much as you do.
You spent the last couple of years
building Homelander up.
And now you want to tear him down?
Why the fuck should we trust you?
You can't trust me.
Honestly, you shouldn't.
But you will.
And why would we do that?
I know Campbell and Starlight
are headed to plant your little virus.
You can trace anyone,
if you know what to look for.
And you baboons, you leave a trail
of banana peels wherever you go.
I could have stopped you,
I could have killed you, but I didn't.
That virus is gonna
wipe out the fuckin' lot of you.
And you don't strike me
as the suicide type.
I will be in my nice, quiet bunker,
reading Wittgenstein in peace.
That is, unless that bleached blonde baby
gets his hands on V1 and survives.
You must have realized by now
granny out there
has no clue how to contact Bombsight.
But I do.
And I can get him here.
So, let me help.
Earlier today, there was a catastrophic
failure of a Vought Petroleum pipeline
resulting in a significant amount
of crude oil spilling into the Bering Sea.
[reporters clamoring]
Sorry, I'm just shaking off a migraine.
But your mind is still an open book, Chad.
Yes, the spill was larger
than Deepwater Horizon.
- [reporters clamoring]
- Much larger.
No, Jimmy, we don't know
when the rupture will be sealed.
I'm hearing weeks, at least.
And yes, this pipeline was Deep's baby.
Rest assured, he's got the situation
completely under control.
I can't breathe!
I can't breathe!
[gasps, groaning]
[panting, groaning]
Jeremy? No!
No, no, no!
No. Jeremy.
No, no. No, no, no, no.
He's not breathing. No.
[muttering]
[grunting]
Jeremy.
[coughing]
Jeremy? Can you hear me?
[coughs] We know, Kevin.
We know it was you.
[dramatic music playing]
[gasps]
Why are you so certain
Bombsight will come here?
If I sent you a picture of Kimiko tied up,
you'd hop here as fast as
your froggy little legs could take you.
Park Geisha over there,
and keep an eye on her.
[wheelchair squeaking]
I wanted to say…
I'm very sorry about this.
I watched every episode of
Undercover Geisha when I was a kid.
I loved it, even the parts that
were ridiculous, racist stereotypes.
It meant so much to see
someone who looked like me on TV.
It's how I learned English.
If you're such a big fan, let me go.
Désolé, but we cannot.
Not until we get the V1
that Bombsight possesses.
Wait, that's what you're after?
V1?
[laughing]
What-What's so funny?
I'll tell Bombsight
to just give it to you.
I sure as hell don't want it.
He stole the V1 for you,
so you two could be together forever.
But you didn't take it.
I said no.
Which is why he left.
I guess, for him,
watching me get old was too painful.
I'm sorry, I do not understand.
Why won't you take it?
To live forever?
It'd be torture.
[scoffs softly]
You're both so young.
You wouldn't understand.
Maybe I would.
Summer is only beautiful
when you know winter is coming.
[sentimental music playing]
Is this how you feel?
Annie and I talked about it.
We'd have to…
We'd have to watch you
and Hughie waste away.
Neither of us wants to die, but…
we don't want to be vampires, either.
I'm sorry. I hadn't, um…
It's okay.
We're both willing to do it anyway.
For you.
Jesus Christ.
[Annie] Yeah, that's pretty much
what he was going for.
- [bag unzipping]
- Do I even need to say be careful?
It's okay.
It won't go off until the timer does.
I think.
[Annie sighs]
- [beeps]
- [Oh Father] Starlight…
[door closes]
I was wondering who befouled
the security cameras.
Hi, Aaron.
It's been a while.
The Lord is working in
His most mysterious ways this evening.
I didn't think I would ever see you
in a house of worship again.
Yeah, well, I didn't think I would ever
see you meat-riding Homelander so hard,
but… I guess we're both
just full of surprises, aren't we?
- I take it you're not here to repent.
- No.
I'm here to… to talk sense
into an old friend.
You did that for me, do you remember?
When, um… [chuckles]
Alex and I were gonna get those matching
tattoos and you talked us out of it.
A tramp stamp crucifix
is a bit of a mixed message.
Especially on a shit-faced 15-year-old.
But if memory serves,
you weren't so grateful at the time.
Yeah, you know, it's hard to hear
that you're making a mistake
you could regret for
the rest of your life.
But… I…
God, I wanted your approval
so badly back then.
You know, you were like
a cool older brother that I never had.
And you weren't cynical, like Ezekiel.
You… you believed.
I still do.
In Homelander?
Come on, Aaron.
You know, I started preaching
when I was nine years old,
in that moldy tent in Greenwood.
And people would come and…
beg me to pray for them,
heal their illness,
look after their children,
get them a job.
And I raised my hands in prayer
for each of them.
Those prayers went unanswered.
Nobody was listening.
God checked out.
Homelander is standing in front of us.
He's not asking for blind faith.
And when I talk…
when I talk, he listens.
God is supposed to be selfless.
Okay? Homelander…
Homelander doesn't care about anyone
or anything outside of himself.
Maybe imperfect, but he…
he brought this church up out of ruin.
He fights back against the secular forces
corrupting this nation.
He killed Firecracker,
and you're delusional if you think
he won't turn on you.
Firecracker was a nonbeliever,
she brought his wrath upon herself.
I am not afraid to stand
before Homelander's judgment!
But you didn't sneak in here
to argue about dogma, did you?
Oh, Annie, I am sorry.
I really did like you.
[muted screaming]
[Annie groans]
[groaning]
[muted screaming]
[high-pitched ringing]
[groaning]
[Hughie] Stop.
You know what this is?
I open it, you're dead in 30 seconds.
So is Annie.
No.
She already took the antidote.
You didn't go to all this trouble
just to waste that on me.
No…
but I will.
Unless you let her go.
Don't be a stranger, Annie.
Room for everyone in our flock.
[newsman] Authorities are calling it
the worst environmental disaster
- in U.S. history.
- [crying]
An estimated 2.5 million gallons
of crude oil have already spilled…
Plenty of fish in the sea, bro.
[laughing]
But most of them are fuckin' dead.
…Vought Petroleum promised
a thorough investigation…
You think a fish holocaust is funny, bro?
Uh, yeah. Payback's a bitch, bitch.
[panting]
What's that supposed to mean?
It means I flew up to Alaska,
swam down to your dumb pipeline
and punched a hole in it.
It wasn't even that hard.
That shit is really poorly built.
What? Why?
You killed Adam Bourke, so I killed
a bunch of porpoises or whatever.
Now we're even steven.
[muttering]
I killed one f… I killed one dude!
You killed 1.4 billion fish, motherfucker!
One human being who was
a national treasure, asshole.
Not just some stupid fish.
[breathing heavily]
They were my friends.
Sucks to suck, dipshit.
[soundboard voice] Stop, loser,
bro-bro-bro!
[Black Noir] So let's record
this stupid fucking thing.
[intense music playing]
[grunting]
[yells]
[grunting]
You were never my bro, bro.
[grunting]
[breathing heavily]
No.
[exhales] Oh, God.
Oh, God.
[door slams]
Hey. Some kid shit on the floor
in the men's room. Again.
[sighs] Terrific.
[laser blasting]
[body thuds]
Bubelah. You might not remember,
but we actually met, back-back in the day.
You must have been yay-high,
but you know what?
I-I saw greatness in you, even then.
I don't remember that, Chet.
[scoffs] I did.
- Um…
- Well,
we needed to talk in private.
Okay.
I take it you saw the security footage
from the old folks' home.
And you probably got
the very reasonable impression
that I'm somehow working
with Butcher and them.
Uh, but honestly?
Fuck those guys.
Fuck 'em. I'm on your…
I'm on Team You, big guy.
And-and-and, I mean, I'll gladly
tell you any-anything you want to know.
[tense music playing]
Great.
That's great.
[lighter flicks]
- Tell me somethin'.
- Hmm?
You got all this figured out.
But you still end up trapped in a bunker
eating canned tuna and Chef Boyardee?
Ooh, Crunchwraps, please.
And, uh, solitude…
is all I ever wanted.
Since way before
Homelander knocked on my door.
It's… gonna be magnificent.
You're fuckin' crazier than I thought.
And I thought you were fuckin' crazy.
Sorry, are you not working day and night
to drop a genocidal virus?
Yeah, but I ain't gotta enjoy it.
- I just gotta do it.
- Don't pretend you're better than me.
Enjoy it, don't enjoy it…
it's still mass murder.
Least I'm honest about it.
[rumbling]
- Right on cue.
- [whooshing]
[dramatic music playing]
Oi, Bombsight, glad you could pop in.
Get the fuck away from her.
Lookin' pretty spry
for a hundred years old.
When you blow your load,
is it just a puff of dust?
[Bombsight] You motherfuckers,
I'm going to rip
every one of you to pieces.
Try it.
And you'll be wiping your better half's
better half off your fucking face.
Now, how's about we just cool our jets
and you and I have a little chin wag
like proper gentlemen.
- [Homelander sighs]
- [The Legend] Okay. Um…
- No one here.
- I grant you,
it-it looks like that, yeah.
But this-this is their hideout,
so I'm sure there's plenty of clues
- all over here.
- Oh, come on.
- Here you go.
- [sighs]
Oh, no, well, this is nothing,
but, you know, they have to
have left something behind.
You know?
It's not nothing.
It's a Taco Bell receipt.
No. This is Sage!
Taunting me.
Okay.
[Homelander laughing]
This makes no sense.
This makes no sense.
This makes no sense. [laughs]
You… you said I would get the V1.
You said I'd be a god.
Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you?
I did everything you asked me to.
I gave my boy up.
Please don't leave me here to just rot.
Don't… Just let me
become nothing, like him?
[sighs]
Please.
Got to assume…
the only reason
you're saying all this stuff is you're…
you're not gonna let me
walk out of here alive. Are you?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right, look, kid,
I-I-I've been around a long time, and I…
This is just how it goes.
You know, all those old Supes at the home,
every one of them had their moment
in the sun,
and they all thought
it was gonna go on forever.
And every one of them got shoved out
at the end.
They all got shoved out. All of them.
And I know what I'm talking about.
I did the shoving.
I mean, look at Goldie.
One minute she's on the set
of Undercover Geisha
getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas,
the next she's shilling
for VoughtAlert necklaces
and Activia poop-yogurt.
Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
Guess you don't
watch your own news channel?
Point is, look, there comes a day
I got shoved out, too.
Never saw it coming,
did not see that coming.
And I fought it like hell,
but in the end, bupkis.
There's a natural order to things,
and the more you fight the inevitable,
the more the inevitable just
cunt-punts you.
Yep.
You're not scared of me.
No, I'm not scared of you. I…
I feel for you, kid.
I do.
You're a fuckin' whack-job.
But, you know, that's talent, so…
no surprise there.
So, there you go.
Do what you gotta do.
[The Legend sighs]
You can go.
- I can go?
- Leave.
No words. Just go.
Now. Go.
- Now!
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
[phone clicks]
[line ringing]
[man] How can I help you, sir?
I need the tracking coordinates
for a VoughtAlert necklace.
[uneasy music playing]
[Mother's Milk] Look,
all we're after is the V1.
You hand that over
and we all go home happy.
I can't.
- Robbie…
- No.
You'll change your mind.
I've watched enough friends
get old and die to know,
you'll change your mind.
I'm sorry.
But I won't.
That doesn't mean we can't be together.
We've wasted years already.
If I gave it to you,
what would you do with it?
We will destroy it.
She is right.
It is a curse.
- No.
- [Butcher] Listen, mate.
You can sort things out
with the missus later,
but you ain't
leaving here with that shite.
You think I'm stupid enough
to bring it with me?
[Sage] You're exactly that stupid.
You thought Geisha's life was in danger,
you brought the V1 to save her.
It's the bulge in your left pocket.
[grunting]
[Kimiko] Hey.
- [straining]
- Robbie, just give him what he wants.
[exciting music playing]
[bullets ricocheting]
- Fuck.
- Let's go.
Please, don't.
They kidnapped you.
I don't want anyone else
to get hurt because of me.
[grunts]
Hiya, Robbie.
Ben.
- The fuck is he doing here?
- I texted him.
He's here to help.
- We don't need that motherfucker's help.
- Those two crackers
have been at each other's throats
for 80 years.
It's their bone,
let the old dogs fight over it.
You know how long I've wanted
to smash in that pretty face?
Buddy, the Queen sat on this face.
It's a national fucking treasure.
[grunting]
Why the fuck do you trust him?
There's no one who hates
Homelander more right now.
How could you be sure?
Because people are fucking predictable.
[blows landing]
[grunts]
Oh, goddamn it.
Fuck.
Ooh.
[straining]
[groaning]
Goddamn it, I hate flying.
Tough skin or not,
I can still break your fucking neck.
Ben, stop.
Please.
Goddamn it.
- I can't give it to you.
- Goldie doesn't even want to take it.
Then maybe someday
I'll find someone who will.
You were always gonna fuck it up
with Goldie anyway.
You could never hold down a girl.
It was either a smack needle
up your dick or…
Having to stand next to you?
You were everyone's favorite
from the start.
Especially Clara.
Everything they wanted us to be,
everything they were working towards,
they saw it in you.
I fucking hated you for it.
No.
No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted.
I didn't know how to be.
But you loved her.
What wouldn't you give
to have her back… forever?
I really fucking hate you.
No shit.
But we don't have to kill each other.
I can take away your immortality.
And your powers.
You won't have to live forever alone.
Then you and Goldie can spend whatever
time you have left like you want.
Why would you do that for me?
[clicks tongue]
I'd do it for the V1.
[pensive music playing]
[pulsing music playing]
The fuck is that?
[explosive whooshing]
Come on.
[coughs]
This is the first time
I've seen my blood in…
I can't remember.
[whooshing]
[ominous music playing]
[Homelander] Don't.
I don't want to fight you.
You know,
Clara used to say the craziest shit.
That I was the strongest Supe alive,
the "ultimate expression"
of what we could be.
But she was wrong.
She hadn't met you yet.
[eerie music playing]
No.
I don't understand.
He wasn't supposed to…
It's impossible.
But you hate me.
I love her more.
And this is what she would want.
[ominous music playing]
[groaning]
[yelling]
Run.
[yelling]
[atmospheric music playing]