The Brady Bunch (1969) s05e06 Episode Script

1
HERE'S THE STORY
OF A LOVELY LADY
WHO WAS BRINGING UP
THREE VERY LOVELY GIRLS ♪
ALL OF THEM HAD HAIR OF GOLD ♪
LIKE THEIR MOTHER
THE YOUNGEST ONE IN CURLS
IT'S THE STORY
OF A MAN NAMED BRADY ♪
WHO WAS BUSY
WITH THREE BOYS OF HIS OWN ♪
THEY WERE FOUR MEN
LIVING ALL TOGETHER ♪
YET THEY WERE ALL ALONE
TILL THE ONE DAY WHEN
THE LADY MET THIS FELLOW ♪
AND THEY KNEW THAT IT WAS
MUCH MORE THAN A HUNCH ♪
THAT THIS GROUP
MUST SOMEHOW FORM A FAMILY ♪
THAT'S THE WAY WE ALL
BECAME THE BRADY BUNCH ♪
THE BRADY BUNCH
THE BRADY BUNCH
THAT'S THE WAY WE BECAME
THE BRADY BUNCH ♪
COME ON, RAQUEL.
EVERYONE'S ASLEEP. THERE'S
NOTHIN' TO WORRY ABOUT.
[sighing] WE MADE IT.
[bleating] SHH!
IF ANYONE FINDS YOU UP HERE,
I'M IN BIG, BIG TROUBLE.
[groaning]
OH, MAN, NOT MY AMERICAN
HISTORY REPORT.
[sighing]
YOU'VE EATEN
THE BOSTON TEA PARTY.
NOT MY TENNIS SHOE.
WHAT ARE YOU PLANNIN'
FOR DESSERT, MY MATTRESS?
[bleating]
I BETTER GET DOWNSTAIRS
AND GET YOU SOME PEOPLE FOOD
BEFORE YOU EAT ME
OUT OF THIS ROOM.
KEEP IT COOL, HUH?
[bleating]
GOOD CATCH, ALICE.
2 MORE LIKE THAT,
YOU COULD RETIRE THE SIDE.
OH, ALICE,
THOSE SMELL DELICIOUS.
WELL, IT'S YOUR FLAPJACK RECIPE.
YES, BUT YOU DO THE FLAPPING.
(Carol) HEY, I DIDN'
FEEL ANY SHAKING.
WHAT SHAKING?
HUH, IT WOULD TAKE AN EARTHQUAKE
TO GET YOU UP
THIS EARLY ON SATURDAY.
OH, YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, WHA
WITH THE GAME AND ALL TONIGHT,
I I REALLY COULDN'T SLEEP. HMM.
AND BESIDES, I'M SO HUNGRY
I COULD EAT AN ELEPHANT.
WITH THE PRICE OF MEAT,
WE ALL MAY HAVE TO.
YOU KNOW, I THINK I'll JUS
TAKE ALL THIS UP TO MY ROOM,
STUDY SOME PLAYS FOR THE GAME.
ARE YOU PLANNING TO EAT ALL THA
OR ARE YOU GONNA OPEN
YOUR OWN RESTAURANT?
DON'T WORRY, MOM.
NOT AN OUNCE OF THIS
WILL GO TO WASTE.
GOOD MORNING, GOOD
MORNING. HI, HONEY.
GOOD MORNING.
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING.
I NEED ENERGY
FOR THE GAME TONIGHT.
OH, SPEAKING OF THE GAME,
I SEE BY THE NEWSPAPER,
THAT THE COOLIDGE HIGH SCHOOL
BOYS SWIPED YOUR WESTDALE MASCOT.
YEAH, OUR BEAR CUB.
THOSE PRANKS ARE SO SILLY.
WELL, I'M SURPRISED YOUR
SCHOOL TOOK IT LYING DOWN,
'CAUSE IN MY DAY, WE WOULD'VE
GONE RIGHT OUT AND STOLEN THEIRS.
YOU WOULD? I DID.
YOU DIDN'T. YES, I DID.
DAD HAD THE OLD
SCHOOL SPIRIT, MOM.
YEAH, WELL, NOT ACCORDING
TO THE BOYS' VICE PRINCIPAL.
YOU GOT CAUGHT?
I GOT SUSPENDED
FROM SCHOOL FOR A WEEK.
[chuckling] YOU DESERVED IT.
NO, HE WAS JUST GETTIN' EVEN
WITH THE OTHER TEAM.
WELL, MAYBE
YOUR MOTHER'S RIGHT, GREG.
LOOKING BACK ON IT, CONSIDERING THE
SUSPENSION, IT WAS A PRETTY DUMB TRICK.
YOU KNOW, I THINK KIDS
TODAY ARE TOO GROWN-UP
TO GET INVOLVED
IN SUCH CHILDISH BEHAVIOR.
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
WANT ONE OF MINE?
THANK YOU.
WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE TOWELS?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT'S WASH
DAY. TRY THE LINEN CLOSET.
(Greg) BOY, YOU SURE
DO HAVE AN APPETITE.
[Raquel chewing] NOT SO FAST.
SLOW DOWN, YOU WAN
TO GET INDIGESTION?
EASY DOES IT.
THAT'S BETTER.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT.
NO MORE NO MORE FOOD
TILL LUNCH TIME.
[sighing]
(Greg) BOY, I KEEP RAIDING THE
REFRIGERATOR DOWNSTAIRS,
THEY'LL GET SUSPICIOUS.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GETTING A TOWEL. SHH.
[whispering] COME IN HERE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
CLOSE THE DOOR, SHH.
DID YOU KNOW YOU COULD HEAR
EVERYTHING FROM GREG'S ROOM IN HERE?
FROM THE AIR VENT.
THAT'S INVASION OF PRIVACY.
YOU MEAN, WE CAN'T LISTEN?
[stuttering] I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
I JUST SAID IT WAS
INVASION OF PRIVACY.
GREG'S GOT SOMEBODY
UP IN HIS ROOM. YEAH, WHO?
SOMEBODY WHO'S REAL HUNGRY.
(Greg)
YOU FEEL BETTER NOW, RAQUEL?
RAQUEL? GREG'S
GOT A GIRL UP THERE.
WOW.
WHAT DO WE DO? KEEP LISTENING.
WHAT ARE YOU 2 DOIN' HERE?
WHERE DO YOU EXPECT US
TO GO FOR A WASHCLOTH?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?
WHO, US?
OH, WE'RE JUST IN HERE
SHOOTIN' THE BREEZE.
INSIDE THE CLOSET, ON A LADDER?
YOU 2 ARE UP TO SOMETHING.
OH, WELL,
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, WE ARE.
WHAT?
WELL, YOU TELL 'EM, PETE.
UH, WELL, UM,
REMEMBER THAT SCIENCE PROJEC
I WAS WORKING ON FOR SCHOOL?
(both) NO.
UH, WELL, WELL, ANYWAY, UM,
UH, MY SNAKE GOT LOOSE,
AND IT'S IN THIS CLOSET.
YEAH, HEY, THERE HE IS.
[girls shrieking]
HEY, MAYBE YOU'D LIKE
A LITTLE GUITAR MUSIC.
[knock on door]
WHO IS IT? MARCIA.
MOM WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU'VE GO
ANYTHING TO GO TO THE CLEANERS.
[bleating]
GREG, IS THERE SOMEBODY
UP THERE WITH YOU?
NOBODY.
ARE YOU SURE?
YES.
WELL, I CAN'T WAIT ALL DAY.
ALL RIGHT, MARCIA, ALL RIGHT.
YOU MAY AS WELL KNOW.
SHH, COME ON IN.
I GUESS I CAN TRUST YOU.
HUH?
TRUST ME ABOUT WHAT?
WELL
A GOAT.
[bleating] MEET RAQUEL.
WOW.
HEY, THAT'S COOLIDGE
HIGH'S MASCOT.
RIGHT. WESTDALE
HAD A REVENGE RAID.
[giggling] SHE'S CUTE.
BUT WHY DID YOU BRING HER HERE?
THERE WAS NO PLACE ELSE TO HIDE
HER TILL AFTER THE GAME TONIGHT.
AT LEAST NO PLACE IT'D BE SAFE.
MOM AND DAD AREN'T GONNA BE
TOO THRILLED ABOUT A HOT GOAT.
THEY BETTER NOT FIND OUT,
IF YOU GET THE POINT.
WELL, I'll DO MY PART,
BUT YOU BETTER TELL RAQUEL
TO KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT, TOO.
CLOSE THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY OUT.
LISTEN, RAQUEL, I'll SHARE
MY BREAKFAST WITH YOU,
BUT NOT MY BED.
HI.
(Alice) IS GREG STILL IN HIS ROOM?
UH, WHY DO YOU ASK?
OH, I JUST WAN
TO CHANGE HIS LINEN
AND STRAIGHTEN THINGS UP A
LITTLE. UH, NO, NOT NOW, ALICE.
WHY?
WELL, UH, GREG'S SORT OF BUSY.
UH, MAYBE YOU BETTER NO
BOTHER HIM JUST NOW.
OH, SOMETHIN' FOR SCHOOL?
YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT, I
DOES HAVE TO DO WITH SCHOOL.
IT'S A REAL HAIRY PROBLEM.
OK, I'll LEAVE IT TILL LATER.
[humming]
(Greg) NOW, LISTEN, YOUNG
LADY, YOU BE A GOOD GIRL OR ELSE.
I BETTER GET A GRIP ON MY EARS.
YOU TALKING TO ME?
UH, NO, I WASN'T,
BUT I COULD HAVE SWORN
THE CLOSET WAS TALKING TO ME.
(Greg) YOU LIKE
YOUR EARS RUBBED?
AW, DOES THAT FEEL GOOD?
LOOK, RAQUEL, YOU HAD
A PRETTY ROUGH NIGHT,
SO WHY DON'T YOU
TAKE A LITTLE NAP.
GREG? (Greg) YES, SIR?
I WANT TO SEE YOU IN MY DEN.
JUST GIVE ME
A COUPLE OF MINUTES, DAD.
YOUR COUPLE OF MINUTES WERE UP
A COUPLE OF MINUTES AGO.
GREG, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
YES, SIR.
[sighing]
IT'S ABOUT RAQUEL.
RAQUEL? NEVER MIND
HOW I FOUND OUT ABOUT IT.
THE POINT IS, SHE'S IN
YOUR ROOM, ISN'T SHE?
YES, SIR.
OH, GREG.
YOUR MOTHER AND I HAVE NEVER
QUESTIONED YOUR RIGHT TO PRIVACY,
BUT, I MEAN, THIS IS CARRYING
THINGS A LITTLE TOO FAR.
WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
I FIGURED I COULD SNEAK
RAQUEL IN LAST NIGH
AND GET HER OU
WITHOUT ANYONE FINDING OUT.
YOU MEAN
SHE'S BEEN HERE ALL NIGHT?
DAD, I WAS STUCK. THERE WAS
NO PLACE ELSE I COULD TAKE HER.
OH, I AM TRYING VERY HARD
TO BE UNDERSTANDING,
AND I'M LOSING.
OK, DAD.
I NEVER SHOULD'VE GOTTEN
MIXED UP WITH A BEAST LIKE THAT.
SON, THAT IS A DREADFUL THING
TO SAY ABOUT A GIRL,
NO MATTER WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE.
A GIRL?
DAD, I THINK WE MAY HAVE A
COMMUNICATION GAP GOING HERE.
RAQUEL IS A GOAT,
AS IN NANNY.
YOU KNOW,
[bleating]
A GOAT?
YOU MEAN A GOAT, GOAT?
[chuckling] YEAH.
YOU MEAN, YOU THOUGHT I
[chuckling] I SURE DID. I
[laughing] OH, NO.
[laughing]
WH-WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO
IN THE FIRST PLACE?
WELL, YOU SOUNDED LIKE YOU KNEW.
[Greg laughing]
THE NEXT QUESTION IS,
WHY ARE YOU RUNNING
A MOTEL FOR GOATS?
WELL, IT'S A SPECIAL GOAT.
SHE'S COOLIDGE HIGH'S MASCOT.
YOU DIDN'T, DID YOU?
[chuckling]
YEAH, WELL
[Mike chuckling]
WELL, THAT WASN'T THE
BRIGHTEST MOVE IN THE WORLD, SON.
YOU SAID YOU DID
THE SAME THING IN SCHOOL.
BUT I DIDN'T SAY IT WASN'T STUPID.
I ALSO SAID IT WAS WRONG. AND IF
YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW WRONG,
YOU WAIT TILL YOUR
MOTHER FINDS OUT.
DOES SHE HAVE TO KNOW?
GREG, YOU HAVE GOT TO
RETURN RAQUEL, NO WAY OUT.
I KNOW. BUT COULDN'T I DO IT KIND OF
SLOWLY, LIKE AFTER THE GAME TONIGHT?
NO. LOOK, SON
DAD, I AM IN SUCH A BIND.
IF THE GUYS FIND OUT,
THEY'LL KILL ME.
IT'S JUST FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS.
[sighing]
WELL, OK.
BUT JUST UNTIL
AFTER THE GAME TONIGHT.
HEY, THANKS, DAD.
YOU'RE TERRIFIC.
AND IF YOUR MOTHER FINDS OUT,
YOU AND I AND RAQUEL
MAY BE ROOMMATES.
UH, YEAH, GEORGE, I'M JUST FINISHING
THE PLANS NOW. I'll DROP 'EM OFF LATER.
[chuckling] RIGHT, GOODBYE.
HONEY, CAN WE POSTPONE
OUR SHOPPING TILL LATER?
OH, SURE. I HAVE TO GET THESE PLANS
OUT, ANYWAY. WHERE ARE YOU GOIN'?
OH, TO AN EMERGENCY
P.T.A. MEETING.
I JUST GOT A CALL
FROM ONE OF THE LADIES.
OH, YEAH? WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY?
WELL, THEY THINK THIS MASCOT STEALING
BUSINESS HAS GOTTEN COMPLETELY OUT OF HAND.
NOW WESTDALE HIGH
HAS STOLEN COOLIDGE'S MASCOT.
NO.
YEAH, WELL, WE'VE GOT TO TRY
TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
WELL, HONEY, I THINK THE LADIES
ARE MAKING MORE OUT OF THIS
THAN IT REALLY DESERVES.
NO, IT ISN'T JUST THE LADIES.
MR. BINKLEY, THE BOYS' VICE
PRINCIPAL, HE'S UP IN ARMS, TOO.
HE'S EVEN GIVEN UP HIS SATURDAY
JUST TO COME TO THIS MEETING.
DO THEY HAVE ANY IDEA
WHO THE GUILTY GUYS ARE?
NO, BUT, WHEN MR. BINKLEY
FINDS OUT,
HE INTENDS TO MAKE THEM EXAMPLES
FOR THE ENTIRE STUDENT BODY.
OH, GREAT. MMM-HMM.
[sighing] WELL, THANK GOODNESS
OUR BOYS AREN'T MIXED UP IN IT.
I'll SEE YOU LATER, HONEY. YEAH.
THANK GOODNESS.
[bleating]
WELL, THAT'S THE WAY IT IS, SON.
THERE'S A VIGILANTE
COMMITTEE OUT TO GE
EVERYBODY CONNECTED
WITH THIS MISSING MASCOT.
MY OWN MOTHER'S
ONE OF THE POSSE.
WHAT'S WORSE IS YOUR VICE
PRINCIPAL'S LEADER OF THE PACK.
YEAH, MR. BINKLEY.
LOOKS LIKE I'M THE ONE
WHO'S THE GOAT, RAQUEL.
[bleating]
YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN.
[bleating]
YOU KNOW, GREG, THERE
MAY BE A WAY OUT OF THIS,
IF YOU ACT FAST ENOUGH.
'CAUSE THE COOLIDGE HIGH SCHOOL
GUYS ARE IN THE SAME PREDICAMEN
AS YOU WESTDALE GUYS, RIGHT?
RIGHT.
OK, I WOULD THINK THEY'D BE
IN A MOOD FOR COMPROMISE.
HOW DO YOU MEAN, COMPROMISE?
WELL, BOTH SIDES GO
FROM SWIPING TO SWAPPING.
SWAP THE MASCOTS BACK AGAIN?
YEAH, SEE?
THAT WAY THE HEAT'S OFF.
I MEAN, WELL, PROVIDED YOU
DON'T GET CAUGHT SWAPPING.
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, DAD.
YOU HAVE A FANTASTIC
CRIMINAL MIND.
YEAH.
I'll GET A HOLD OF THE
COOLIDGE GUYS RIGHT AWAY.
YEAH AND ARRANGE FOR A
SECRET PRISONER EXCHANGE.
GOOD. OK TO BORROW THE CAR?
WELL, I HAVE TO DELIVER A SET OF
PLANS. YOU COME ON, I'll TAKE YOU.
THANKS.
AND YOU TAKE IT EASY
TILL WE GET BACK.
[bleating]
ALL CLEAR, COME ON.
I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING.
MAYBE GREG'S OUT.
[clopping]
LISTEN. SOUNDS LIKE THOSE
HIGH HEELS WOMEN WEAR.
IT MUST BE RAQUEL.
SOUNDS LIKE 4 HIGH HEELS.
GREG'S GOT 2 GIRLS
STASHED UP THERE?
WHAT AN OPERATOR.
[bleating]
WELL, ONE OF THOSE GIRLS
SURE HAS A FUNNY VOICE.
[bleating]
THAT'S NO GIRL.
DOESN'T EVEN SOUND
LIKE A PERSON.
LET'S GO TAKE A LOOK.
[bleating]
IT'S A GOAT.
THE COOLIDGE HIGH MASCOT.
(Peter) GREG MUST'VE BEEN
ONE OF THE GUYS WHO LIFTED IT.
GREG'S GONNA BE FAMOUS.
YOU MEAN EXPELLED.
HEY, COME BACK!
HEY, COME BACK HERE!
(Bobby) COME BACK!
(Peter) COME BACK HERE.
(Bobby) COME BACK.
[bleating]
WHAT'S THAT? IT'S A GOAT.
(Bobby) COME BACK! COME BACK!
(Peter) RAQUEL! RAQUEL!
[Jan screaming] IT'S A GOAT!
(Jan) HEY! WHAT ARE YOU
DOING? HELP US CATCH IT.
(Bobby) YEAH, COME
ON. HELP US CATCH.
(Peter) HEY!
[all shouting]
RAQUEL, COME BACK, RAQUEL!
RAQUEL?
[all shouting]
[women laughing]
COME ON IN, LADIES.
I WOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT.
YOU DID, THOUGH. YOU DID.
JUST MAKE YOURSELVES
RIGHT AT HOME.
(women) THANK YOU. ALICE!
OH, WHAT A LOVELY HOME YOU
HAVE, MRS. BRADY. WHY, THANK YOU.
(Mrs. Dingle) CAROL, DID
YOU GET NEW CHAIRS?
NO, WE JUST HAD THEM CLEANED.
OH, THEY LOOK GREAT.
[women chattering] HI,
MRS. BRADY, MRS. DINGLE.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR P.T.A. MEETING?
HI, ALICE.
WE HAD TO SWITCH HOUSES.
I FORGOT THE PAINTERS
WERE COMING TODAY.
ALICE, COULD YOU
GET US SOME TEA, PLEASE?
TEA AND COOKIES,
COMING RIGHT UP.
YEAH, THAT'S GREAT.
I'M GLAD THE GUYS
FROM COOLIDGE HIGH
WERE AS ANXIOUS TO STAY
OUT OF TROUBLE AS WE WERE.
YEAH. NOW ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS GET RAQUEL TO THE PARK
AND CHANGE HER
FOR THAT BEAR CUB.
WHAT A BREAK,
MOM'S AT THE P.T.A. MEETING.
I'll HAVE A CHANCE
TO GET RAQUEL OUT.
OH, YOUR HOUSE IS FURNISHED
SO BEAUTIFULLY, MRS. BRADY.
OH, WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THE RES
OF IT BEFORE MR. BINKLEY GETS HERE?
I'D LOVE TO.
OH, HI, DEAR.
LADIES, THIS IS THE MAN WHO
DESIGNED THE HOUSE, MY HUSBAND, MIKE.
AND MY SON, GREG.
HI. HELLO, MRS. DINGLE.
HI, GREG, HOW ARE YOU?
WELL, UH, WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE P.T.A. MEETING?
OH, WE HAD A LAST MINUTE
SWITCH OF HOUSES,
BUT YOU TIMED
YOUR ENTRANCE PERFECTLY.
(Carol) THE LADIES WERE JUS
WANTING TO SEE THE HOUSE.
OH, THAT'S FINE, FINE.
WELL, DON'T SHOW 'EM MY ROOM
BECAUSE I FORGOT TO CLEAN IT UP,
AND IT'S A MESS. IT'S A BIG MESS.
(Mike) YEAH, WELL, WE
UNDERSTAND THAT, GREG.
UH, WELL,
WOULD YOU
LIKE TO SEE THE GARAGE?
YEAH, NO, I SUPPOSE NOT.
UH, WELL, UH, HOW ABOUT MY DEN?
[doorbell ringing]
GREAT, THIS WAY, LADIES.
GREG, WOULD YOU
GET THE DOOR, HONEY?
THANK YOU. UH, OK.
(Carol) HE DOESN'T LE
US IN HERE VERY OFTEN.
(Mike) THIS IS, UH,
WHERE I DO MY WORK.
HELLO, GREGORY.
OH, HI HI, MR. BINKLEY.
I'VE ALREADY BEEN
TO MRS. GOULD'S HOUSE.
I HOPE THERE HASN'T BEEN
ANOTHER CHANGE OF MEETING PLACE.
OH, YES, SIR. I MEAN, NO, SIR.
IT'S HERE.
MAY I COME IN?
OH, SURE, COME ON IN.
SORRY.
I PRESUME YOU'VE HEARD
WHY WE'RE MEETING.
SOMETHING ABOUT SCHOOL MASCOTS.
STOLEN MASCOTS.
YOUNGSTERS MUST LEARN TO
RESPECT ONE ANOTHER'S PROPERTY.
TODAY IT'S GOATS AND BEARS,
AND TOMORROW IT'S LIABLE
TO BE CARS OR EVEN WORSE.
UH, YES, SIR YES, SIR. I
COULDN'T AGREE WITH YOU MORE.
HMM.
WELL, UH, THEY'RE IN THE DEN
HERE, IF YOU'LL JUST FOLLOW ME.
(Mike) AND I'D LIKE TO
SHOW YOU THE KITCHEN
BACK IN THE DEN.
GET THE GOAT.
RAQUEL.
COME ON, NOW I'll SHOW YOU
THE UPSTAIRS.
OH, HONEY, WHAT ABOUT THE KITCHEN?
I MEAN THAT'S YOUR PRIDE AND JOY.
YEAH, I'M SAVING THAT FOR LAST.
UH, YES, BUT YOU HAVE AN IMPORTAN
MEETING, AND I'M SURE MR. BINKLEY
DOESN'T HAVE TIME FOR
THE GRAND TOUR. WELL, I DO
BUT IT'LL ONLY TAKE A MOMENT,
MR. BINKLEY. OH, VERY WELL.
SEE? COME ON, EVERYBODY. WAIT A
MINUTE. I'll LEAD THE WAY, I'll LEAD THE WAY.
RAQUEL.
AND WE HAVE 3 BEDROOMS UP HERE
AND 1 UPSTAIRS.
(Mrs. Gould) I JUST LOVE THE
COLOR SCHEME OF THIS HOUSE.
[all chattering]
OUR 2 YOUNGEST BOYS
HAVE THIS ROOM ON THE RIGHT.
[giggling] ALL CLEAR OF BOYS.
I COULD NEVER GO
INTO MY SON'S ROOM.
(Mrs. Dingle) LOOK HOW
NEATLY THEY KEEP IT.
OH, THIS IS JUST LOVELY.
THAT'S A GOOD GIRL, RAQUEL.
NOW, JUST KEEP IT COOL, HUH?
(Carol) AND THIS
BATHROOM WAS DESIGNED.
FOR BOTH THE BOYS AND THE GIRLS.
[Carol chattering]
AND NOW I'D LIKE YOU
TO SEE WHAT I THINK
EVERY HOUSE SHOULD HAVE,
AND THAT IS
A WALK-IN LINEN CLOSET.
YOU'VE SEEN ONE LINEN
CLOSET, YOU'VE SEEN 'EM ALL.
RIGHT? RIGHT?
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU SHOW THEM THE
MASTER BEDROOM? AH, THE MASTER BEDROOM.
RIGHT, RIGHT, THE MASTER BEDROOM,
UH-HUH. SELMA, TAKE 'EM OVER THERE.
[chuckling nervously] UH, MR. BINKLEY,
THERE, THERE. JUST GO RIGHT THERE.
YOU KNEW ALL ABOUT THIS,
DIDN'T YOU?
I'll EXPLAIN IT LATER. OOH.
I'll STALL 'EM IN THE MASTER
BEDROOM. GET RID OF THE GOAT.
I'M TRYING TO.
(Greg) OW, OW!
[bleating]
THAT'S THE 2ND GOA
I'VE SEEN TODAY.
[shrieking]
[bleating]
[women screaming]
(Carol) CLOSE THE
DOOR. MRS. BRADY?
GREG, THAT'S MY SHOWER CURTAIN!
I KNOW, I KNOW.
WHERE'S THE GOAT?
SHE'S IN THE BATHTUB.
WELL, GO GET IT.
[bleating]
[shrieking]
OH, THAT'S MY GOOD SPREAD!
(Mike) COME ON, I'll GET HIM.
BE CAREFUL, MIKE.
[bleating]
GREGORY, MRS. GOULD
IS IN THE CLOSET.
[exclaiming]
WAIT A MINUTE, OPEN IT UP.
[Mike sighing]
I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD
EXPLANATION FOR THIS, GREGORY.
I HOPE SO, TOO.
BUT I DOUBT IT.
I DOUBT IT, TOO.
THANKS FOR A LOVELY TIME,
I THINK.
OH, COME BACK. CAROL, NEXT TIME
I'M GOING TO BRING MY TRACK SHOES.
ALL RIGHT, SELMA. SO LONG.
BYE-BYE.
BYE-BYE. THANK YOU. BYE-BYE.
MR. BRADY, I WANT TO COMMEND
YOU ON HAVING ACTED SO QUICKLY
TO EFFECT THE MASCOT EXCHANGE.
[chuckling] WELL
AND AS FOR YOU, YOUNG MAN.
YES, SIR?
I THINK A 5,000 WORD ESSAY
ON THE EVILS OF MASCO
STEALING IS IN ORDER.
5,000 WORDS?
GREG, I THINK MR. BINKLEY
IS BEING VERY GENEROUS.
OH, YES. VERY GENEROUS.
THANK YOU, SIR.
WELL, HADN'T YOU BETTER
RUN ALONG, GREGORY?
YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT
TO RETURN THAT GOAT.
THE GOAT. WHERE IS SHE?
RAQUEL. OH, MY POOR HOUSE.
BOY, TIMES SURE HAVE CHANGED.
I DID THE SAME THING
WHEN I WAS A KID,
AND I GOT SUSPENDED FOR A WEEK.
I WAS SUSPENDED
FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH.
[all laughing]
GOOD LUCK, MR. BINKLEY.
OH, THANKS, MR. BINKLEY.
BYE-BYE. BYE-BYE.
[switch clicking]
WELL, THAT OUGHT TO
DO IT, MRS. BRADY.
BOY, ALICE, I TELL YOU,
GOATS MAY BE EASY ON THE EYES,
BUT THEY SURE
ARE HARD ON THE NOSE.
I'll SAY.
I'M GLAD RAQUEL HAS GONE BACK
WHERE SHE BELONGS.
YES
BUT THE MEMORY LINGERS ON.