Brassic (2019) s05e07 Episode Script
Albert
1
This programme contains
very strong language
from the outset and throughout.
What is fucking going on wi' you?
It's the swimming trunks.
They just bunch everything up.
I mean, dude, why are you wearing
swimming trunks? It's madness.
In case we go in the hot tub.
What?!
Manolito's hot tub.
Tommo said you went in it.
Sweetheart, this is not
a fucking hot-tub occasion.
We're dropping off some bales
and getting the fuck out.
I want to be in and out.
Oh.Get your shit together.
Stop itching your dick.
Excuse me, love.Hiya.Do you know
where Manolito is, by any chance?
Ertry the back garden.
Excellent. Ta.
Butbut why not?
What do you Listen, give over.
It's a bath, innit?
If you wanna go in the fucking
hot tub, you've gotta ask him.
I can't ask him.I don't hardly know
him. He thinks I'm called K-Kevin.
Well, put him right then, dude.
Maybe you should.
Putting him right, dude.
Listen, some things,
you have to do on your own.
You know what I mean?
What the fuck's going on out there?
How come Tommo got to go in it?
Be Look leave the fucking hot tub
alone now, all right?
He's a temperamental bastard
at the best of times.
Just get on wi' him.
Know what I mean?
MAN: It takes a long time
to work out how to do this safely.
We've been trained!
MAN:
Who says I want to do it safely?
I'm begging you, it's only a rabbit.
Sorry.
Sorry, are you?You'll kill him!
I don't think you're sorry enough.
No, please.You are getting on my
nerves.Please!You want to be next?
Oh, my
Fucking hell. You all right, dude?
How's it going?
Vincent!
Hiya, Manolito.
AhKevin.
No. Please. No.
Oh.I'm sorry.
That's not good.
Whoa.
Ohh! Blinking hell.
Please!
Whoa. Fucking hell.
It's my Lola's fourth birthday.
I'm throwing her
a special birthday party.
Aw! H-happy birthday
to the l-little lady.Thank you.
Are you laying on weed
for a four-year-old's party?
It's for the grown-ups.Madhead
I've got a lot of people coming.
I want everyone
to be nice and relaxed.Sure.
People come round here,
they're always so uptight.Yeah.
I hear hot tubs are good for that
sort of thing. S-so I've been told.
I didn't know you had
Is that fella gonna be OK
spinning round on that thing there?
You don't need to worry.
I'm gonna take care of him.
Come.
One person has let me down already.
Completely unforgiveable.
Fucking hell.Jeez.
Mr Rabbit Man here, took my money
for a thoroughbred snow white
bunny rabbit as fluffy as a cloud.
On the day of my Lola's birthday he
comes to me, says there is problem.
I could get you an iguana.
Lola don't want no stinking iguana.
Lola wants the rabbit
she was promised
and has been looking forward to
for the last six fucking months.
Is this as fast as this thing goes?
No. No!
Hey. I'm ready for the blindfold.
The blindfold? No!
I-I-I'll get you a w-white bunny.
You bring me rabbit?
Yeah, sure. I-I-I'll g-get you one.
N-n-no problem-o.You let me down,
I'll have to put you on the target.
No, please. No. No, no.
# BARRETT STRONG:
Money
Fuck sake.
A fucking drought on bunnies.
Do you know what I mean?
Are they not shagging enough?
Who the fuck knew that?
Well as it happens, I did.
Heh-heh hey-hey!
Jim!
# Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh hey!
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh hey! #
Yeah!All right then.
Hey. Did somebody orderrabbits?
Yeah, I did, yeah.
Ta-da!
Take your pick.
What-what-what-what are they?
They're rabbits, innit?They're not.
They're fucking march hares.
Fuck. What did I say to you?
I said fluffy white rabbit, dude.
All right, off-white.Fucking
off-white? They're fucking dead.
Well, what do you want
fucking live ones for?
Dead ones are better.
How are they better?
It's for a fucking child's birthday.
She's fucking four years old.
A rabbit? As a pet?
Yeah.I've fucking heard it all now.
They're vermin.
Fucking horse is a pet.
A dog is a pet.
Animals that don't mind doing
an honest days work,
not fucking layabouts like rabbits
and fucking goldfish!
Them lazy bastards
Will you sod off, you?
Ah, fuck you!
Jesus Christ.
Who the fucking hell's that now?
Fuck, it's Ronnie.
What do you want, you cunt?
I hear you're on the lookout
for a fucking fluffy white rabbit.
Right. Well, has it got a fucking
pulse?Yeah, man, he's got a pulse.
It's like that.
Ronnie listen to me now.
If come down there and it's
a fucking chinchilla or it's dead,
I'm gonna lose me shit, dude.Great
rabbits don't come fucking cheap.
Fuck, how much do you want for it,
you fucking idiot?
What d'you mean? I want the rabbit's
weight in weed, fucking obviously.
Wait a sec.
Vinnie?
Well, it's about 80, 90% fluff.
Yeah, 85.
Well, how much does fluff weigh?
Fluff, well, it's er
about the same as wool.
Do I look like I understand the
weight of wool, like a Saxon trader,
you fucking lemon, eh?
Jesus fucking wept.
How much does a rabbit weigh?
About half a cat?Half a cat.
That'll do. I'll see you
up at Jim's farm in half an hour.
# METALLICA: Sad But True
Fucking dick. That's a lot bigger
than I thought he'd be.
Take a look at Albert.
We're gonna need more weed, Vinnie.
Shit. Fuck sake.
I mean, what kind of a fucking diet's
this lad on?
Big man.Has he ever fucking seen a
carrot, this lad? He's a meat eater.
He's fucking huge. He is massive.
He's like a fucking white giant.
Everything's fucking huge to you
though, innit?
Ohh.Yes!
Ohh.
That's a lot.Ohh.
Stop making that fucking noise.
We better pay him,
otherwise this knobhead's
gonna get span and skewered
at a child's party.
Can you take him to Manolito
without any fuck-ups?Yeah, course.
Good lad. Go on, get gone.
Bye.
Sorry I'm late, are you pissed off
with me?No, not really,
but I want you to take this time
that we have together seriously.
It's precious time, Vinnie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry.
So, I met Erin, like you asked.
She's a good soul.
Oh.She cares for you.
Therapist approved, is she?
I always feel like I hold her back.
From what I can see, Erin knows
how to look after herself.
Oh.
Do you mind being outside today?
No, no. Hell no. It's nice, innit?
I've always preferred
being outside anyway,
ever since being little, I reckon.
Yeah? What would you do?
'I was always going down to the woods
y'know.
'It was quiet there.
No-one bloody shouting at me
'or fucking laughing at me
'..like in school.
Just a lot of trees.
'Bugs andleaves.
'There were these deer.
'Do you know, I'd wait for them for
bloody hours. I'd keep really still.
'I just I wanted to get close to
them you see. Just I don't know
'They didn't have any bloody
expectations of me
'or fucking demands.
'And they looked like
they belonged where they were.
'Then once this bloody massive one,
I remember him passing right by me.
'I could've touched it.
'Maybe it is stupid but I just
' I felt like it was trying
to tell me summat, y'know.
'Never felt so bloody safe.
'I just
'I wished I could just stay
in them woods forever.'
Do you find yourself
envying the deer?
Yeah. Fucking hell. I still do.
You know, they just look like
they belong there.
Just a part of all of it.
The environment, the landscape.
And they were just always so
..adaptable
and I really liked that about them.
Hm. Adaptable.
How where they adaptable?
Well, it just didn't matter
how brutal it got for them.
They wouldn't dwell on any of it.
Just power through
and get on with things.
And you think that's an important
ability for an animal -
to 'get on with things'?
Well, of course it is, innit?
Yeah? Because?
Well, because if you don't
You know, if you don't move on,
you won't fucking survive.
It's just life.
And it is brutal, bloody cruel
all at the same time but
It is. It's just the way things are.
It's life.
Yes.
# SAM COOKE: What A Wonderful World
All right?
"Oh, Kevin, you are my hero."
"My name's actually Cardi." "Oh, my
God, I've been calling you Kevin!"
"It's all right, it doesn't matter,
just for future.
"Get up off your knees,
Manolito, there's no need"
"No, Cardi, I am serious, baby.
"If there's anything you ever
"possibly want from me,
I'll give it to you."
"ErI really don't think that
there's anything
"Actually, do you know what?
"When we were walking
through your house
"that wasn't a hot tub
I saw back there, was it?"
Oh! Fucking hell! You
all right? You all right, Albert?
Shit.
Oh, shit. I-I-I'm really sorry,
I d-didn't see you there.
Reallyreally it's not a problem.
You barely touched us.Hang on.
Thought I
recognised that cretinous stutter.
What the fuck were you thinking,
driving so recklessly?
I w-w-wasn't. J-j-j
W-w-w-w!
Yes, you fucking were,
you dribbling, inbred twat.
You've given me whiplash. Where's your insurance?
I-I-I-I'm in the p-p-process
of applying for it.
Ooh
I would not want to be you
right now. High-speed crash.
Innocent party. Life-changing
injuries.Russell!No.
I'm afraid I'm going to have
to report this, Lucinda,
let the police deal with it.
Oh, no, don't
Please, please, please.
Please, I'll do anything.I'm
looking at extensive physio here.
We're talking thousands.
I don't see any way round it.
I'll do anything. Please.
All right. You got six grand?
Eh?Compensation. Should be ten
but we'll call itsix for cash.
Keep you out of prison.
II don't have s-s-s-s-six grand.
All right, well, what about your mam
or your grandma
or er
What the fucking hell is that?
He-he-he's just a friend. I just
No, he's just a friend!
He's just a friend.
Please,
he's very-very-very, p-p-precious!
Is he?
Don't worry, I won't hurt him.
Whoa!
Oh!
Look the size of this bastard!
C-can I have him back now, please?
Yeah, course you can. Just get me
six grand and you can have him.
You know where I am.
# TAME IMPALA: Elephant
Shit.
# I Feel Good
Carol?
You all right?No.
Something terrible's happened.
Fucking Russell Hardwick's
taken Manolito's daughter's rabbit.
Remind me why I should give a shit.
I told Manolito I'd get him a rabbit
cos there was a man on a
spinning wheel. And I got a rabbit.
Then I bumped the van and-and now
I'm gonna be on the fucking wheel
and I really don't want to be
What day is it, Cardi?
Wednesday. No, er
Saturday. Is it?
It's our anniversary, Cardi.
Does it mean that little to you?
What? No. No. No. No. No. I just
Just I thoughtthought
it was a d-d-d-different day.
No. It's today.
Your present's over there.
Oh, wow.
That is It's lovely.
I love it.
Erm, er
All right, I'll just
I'll be back in five minutes.
Where are you off to?
Just popping to the shop to g-g-g
get a card and some flowers.
I don't fucking want a card
and fucking flowers
from the fucking shop.
It's too late.
It's the fucking gesture that counts.
The remembering.
Look, I'm sorry, Carol, I thought
I thought it were a different month.
I've had a really shit day.
Russell Hardwick's been so mean.
Jesus Christ! Him again?! Would you
never learn to stand up for yourself?
People like him are gonna walk
all over you unless you do.
I didI did stand up to him.
If you never stand up for yourself,
how can I ever expect you
to stand up for me, huh?
You don't need standing up for.
What? Why the fuck not?!
Because you scare people, Carol.
What the hell do you mean?
You're aggressive! Everyone's too
scared to argue with you,
no-one ever says nothing
you won't like
in case you say something mean
to them because you're mean.
Is that fucking right? Now we're
finding out how things really are.
Shows you how wrong I was
about this fucking relationship.
Nothing's wrong with it.
Are you fucking joking me?
There's only one of us doing anything
in this relationship.
I'm more like a mother to you than
I am a lover.What's wrong with that?
Oh, Christ almighty! Cardi!
You can't go through
your whole fucking life
expecting everyone
to mop up after you.
I need someone
with a level of emotional maturity.
Someone who can support me
if I need them to.
Someone that I can depend on.
You can depend on me!
I can't even depend on you to
remember the fucking anniversary.
I did remember it.
I just remembered a different day!
Fuck!
I can stand up for myself!
I can do all those things
you want me to do.
I can change, Carol.
I think my mum might be a bit more
eager to celebrate than I am.
I think she really
wants to let her hair down.
What, at a baby shower?
She's kind of treating it a bit
more like the hen-do I never had.
Oh, God. OK. Well, she'll
calm down once we get to the spa.
Yeah.
Look up there.
Little cloud balloons. How cute.
Baby shower! Whoo-hoo!
Let's do it!
Oh, God.
Whoo-hoo!
Here we go. Cheers.
Right, here you go. This one's for
you, Sugar.Thank you. Very nice.
# DONNA SUMMER: I Feel Love
Ohh!
Mum, again.
This has got alcohol in it.
Er, yeah, it's a cocktail, innit?
It's not a hen-do.
It's a baby shower.
And I can't drink alcohol
because I'm eight months pregnant.
I was a fortnight in Magaluf with
the girls
when I was pregnant with you.
Never did me any harm.You what?
I booked it before I found out.
It was a hundred quid deposit.
God!
Do you want me to change it?
Carol, you made it!
Are you all right, love?
To tell the truth, I'm not, Liz.
Let's turn this off.
I wasn't so sure that I should come.
Are you OK, Carol?
I don't know where to start now.
I've been called
all sorts of things today.
What? By who?
Cardi.
Cardi?
Cardi called you names?
Like what?
Likeaggressive
..and mean
Right.
OK.
Scary.
Yeah.
Mm.
I just don't know if I see a future
for us now, likelike this.
I need someone thatthat
cares about what I need, y'know.
# BILLY STEWART: A Fat Boy Can Cry
Russell! I want a word with you!
Can I help you?Yeah, you can
give me my fucking rabbit back.
I beg your pardon?
You heard me.
I want my fucking rabbit back, now!
All right, let's just go over here.
No, how about we stay right here
and talk about you stealing
people's rabbits?!
Let's just calm down, shall we?I'm
not fucking calming down, I am calm.
All right. OK, OK. Take a breath.
I want my fucking rabbit back now.
All right. This rabbit
means a lot to you, doesn't it?
I know we've had our differences
and that's probably just as m-m-much
my fault as it is yours.
I'm not a s-s-s-successful man
like you, Russell.
I don't have riches
and I don't want 'em either.
All I want is my wife, Carol,
and for her to be happy
and she's n-n-not happy
because I don't stand up for myself.
I know.
You'd do anything for her, wouldn't
you?I fucking would.Yeah.
All right. Suck my plums.
Eh?
Go on.
Suck my plums.
You said you'd do anything.
Fuck off, man!
Don't pick on me.
My wife thinks I'm a loser.
Get out.
Christ.
I'm not scared of you, Russell.
You're just a c-c-c-c-c
You c-c-c-c-c-c
c-can't even say it, can you?
I bet you can even fucking spell it.
Turf him out.
Make sure he don't come back.
Get off!
II can fucking spell it!
You've analysed it yourself
as well as I ever could.
Like them deer?
Yes.
Exactly like them.
The only constant is change.
Mm.
People move away, you know.
They find work,
theythey fall in love,
they pass away from illness
or old age.
People can come into and out
of our lives in an instant.
It doesn't mean we have to like it,
but it's just life.
That's how it is. Like those leaves
on the trees, always renewing.
Things renew, Vinnie.
Change is everywhere.
I know. I know what you mean. I know.
Likelike Dyl leaving or my mum.
Mm.
I know it's meant to be normal
..but it just makes me
so fucking sad.
Fuck. Perhaps I'll get over it.
Yeah. But he's harmless.
Yeah, and he's a sweet guy.
Am I not allowed to be angry
because everybody loves him?
Yous don't have to live with him.
So what am I?
Am I a bad person
for feeling this desperate?
When I have to do everything for him?
Everything!
And if I leave it up to him,
Mother of Jesus, he's
he's like your man with fucking
gold fingers but only in reverse.
Everything he touches turns to shite.
Look, Carol, it's Cardi, all right?
He loves you, you love him.
But men used to desire me.
I want to be desired.
They always admired me.
I mean, although, admittedly,
it was fleeting but
They used to be fighting
over me in the kebab shop.
But how many of them
were ever any good for you?
That's not the point, Sugar!
The point, is that I felt desired
and it doesn't happen any more.
Oh, course it does.
Cardi desires you.
Well, if he does,
he doesn't know how to show it.
Ah, sure, fuck.
I thought I could
I thought I could fix him up,
you know, like
I thought I could train him
to be better.
I need to get out of here, lads,
need to just get my head sorted.
Do you want us to come with you?
No, no. I'll just go on me own.
Jesus.
God.
# JOHNNY CASH: Hurt
One of them.
And two of those cream puffs.
The choux de la creme?
You having people over?
Am I fuck. Don't bother boxing
'em up, just hand 'em over.
Oh.
I may regret asking,
but is everything all right?
No, it's not, Graham.
I'm a complete disaster, man.
I ruin everything I touch.
Relationships. Children's
birthday parties. You name it.
A chap I used to know quite well
was convinced he was a failure too,
once upon a time.
Always beating himself up, he was.
Constantly telling himself
how bad he was at everything.
You know what happened to him?
He was you.
What? No, he bloody well
jumped in front of a train.
Oh.
Why would you think I
The point is, repeating
negative thoughts of ourselves
only reinforces negativity.
You need to do what I do
every morning.
You look in the mirror and you
visualise the man you want to be
and ask him what would he do,
see yourself doing that,
and then
go and blooming well do it.
I mean, imagine if I'd given up
the first time I got a soggy bottom.
I've got
I've got an idea.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna do summat.
I'm going to do summat!Are you
gonna pay for those, you fucker?
Put them on the tab!
You haven't got a tab!
# DAVID BOWIE: Modern Love
# And when to stay in
# Get things done
# I catch a paper boy
# But things don't really change
# I'm standing in the wind
# But I never wave bye-bye
# But I try
# I try #
'Ey up!
Ooh! Hiya. Are you all right?
Ooh, are you all right,
Meena, sweetheart?
What brings you here?
Just dropping off some info
on personal funeral plans
Tommo was interested in.Yeah. I was,
actually. So, thank you, Meena.
Funeral business
is a massive rip off.
Yeah, well, they seem pretty happy.
I think you'll find, Jim, our
packages are competitively priced.
Not compared to my pit, you're not.
Your pit?
It's great, my pit.
Nothing that goes in there
ever comes back out.
And it costs fuck all.
And that's where I'm going.
Sorry. Guys! Guys!
What, Cardi?!
I've got an idea.
CARDI: 'Everyone's too scared
to argue with you, no-one ever
says nothing you won't like
in case you say something mean to
them because you're mean.'
# The knives are out
# We are broken
# You spat your truth
# I hope you're choking
# You will never be the man
I wish that you could be
# Before your time,
the lads were fighting over me
# Two weddings in
# What was I thinking?
# Not one of us
# Young lad from England
I don't need a baby.
I need you.
# Too late for me
to have the baby of your dreams
# Held on for life and prayed
that I was all you'd need
# Where will I go?
That's lovely!
# Who will love me?
# Stand up and fight
# If I am worthy
# I'm only tough, my love,
because I had to be
# You brightened everything
when you sat next to me
I really fucking love her, man.
And I need her.
# Everybody suffering
# We all had a part to play
# Looking for someone to blame
# Love is the only way
# Will we try again?
# Nights on my own
# Time moves so slowly
# No-one should live
# This life so lonely
What about getting
to know each other?
What about
Romeo, meet Cardi.
# You saved me from my days
of dark debauchery
# You knew just who I was
# Don't twist your knife in me
Fuck!
# Where will I go?
# Who will love me?
# Stand up and fight!
# If I am worthy
# I'm only tough, my love,
because I had to be
# You brightened everything
when you sat next to me
# Sit next to me
# Sit next to me
# And we'll see #
Right, I'm gonna sneak in
through the front.
You and Tommo go in through the
kitchen, right, pose as caterers.
They're short-staffed. Just say that
the agency sent you.Right.
What am I doing?
You're the getaway driver.Yes!
I think Albert will be in t'main
room.Albert's the giant rabbit?
Yes, so
Got ya.
You two go in there, you blend in -
collect plates, glasses, whatever.
Then, when I pull the fire alarm,
you escort everyone to the emergency
exits, I'll go in, grab Albert,
meet back here, Jim'll be waiting.
It's a bit light on revenge for me.
Hey, look, this is Cardi's plan.
It's a good one. Simple. Achievable.
You could take a shit on the table.
All right, bad Santa.
Quick in and out. Got it.
Look, you don't have to do this,
if you don't want to?
No, I do, I do. I really do.
I have to do it for me
and f-f-for Carol.
That's fair enough.
Got to do what you've got to do.
# KANYE WEST: Mercy
# It is a weepin' and a mournin'
and a gnashin' of teeth
# It is a—when it comes to my sound
which is the champion sound
# Believe, believe
# O-O-O-OK, Lamborghini Mercy
# Your chick, she so thirsty
# I'm in that two-seat Lambo
with your girl, she tryna jerk me
# OK, Lamborghini Mercy
# Your chick, she so thirsty
# Lamborghini Mercy #
Fuck it.
# PATSY CLINE: Crazy
I'm starving.
Fuck this.
Anyway, now it's time
for the annual blooper reel.
So, if we could have the lights,
please?
And if anyone can be relied upon
to make the yearly blooper reel,
it is Roger Forsyth.
As can be witnessed
from this amazing video,
Roger has spent more time in bunkers
than Hitler, Goebbels
and Eva Braun put together.
As you can see, he's digging
his way through to Australia.
Nice one, Roger.
Mate, what are you doing?
Can someone get this tramp
out of my kitchen?
Fucking overcooked.Get out now.
It's fucking overcooked.
Call the fucking cops.
Fucking leg it!Sorry.
Who the fuck is that?
For fuck's sake.
Don't panic. Don't panic.
Panic! Fire! Run for your lives!
Fire! Get out! Run!
You?!
Argh!
MEENA: Get out! Get out! Get out!
I don't believe it.
It's that thick fuck.
Get him. Get him.
Get him. He's got the rabbit.
Shit. Oh, shit.
He's gone over there.
Spread out! For God's sake!
Get after him.
There he goes.
Hit the lights!
50 quid to whoever gets him.
Stop there, sunshine!
No, no, no stop, he's got him!
Fucking hell!
Get the buggy, get the buggy!
Let's go. Let's go!
Where the fuck is he?Who?
Fucking Kevin! I fucking warned him.
He thinks he can take the piss
out of me?
I'll murder his fucking family.
Shit!No-one pull this shit on me.
I swear no-one's pulling shit on you.
We wouldn't dare.
That's a gift from us to you.
I'm gonna find out where Kevin is
right the fuck now.
# LANGHORNE SLIM & THE LAW:
The Way We Move
Oh, I wonder where he can be
What a fucking simpleton.
I told you, didn't I?
You're trapped, you fucking inbred.
You go round there.
Fucking hell!
TOMMO: Right!
MEENA: Yes, Cardi!
Yes!
Whoo!
TOMMO: Go on, lad!
MEENA: Yes!
He's making for the exit.
Come on, run!Shit.
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
Do you hear me?
I'm gonna skin you alive!
And your fucking rabbit!
Check this out, Albert.
No, no, no, no, no!
No! What are you doing? No, stop!
What the fucking fuck is he doing?
He's ploughing!
He's fucking ploughing!
CARDI: Hey, Russell!
I think you'll find I can spell it!
Fu-u-u-u-uck!
Carol?Where is he, Vinnie?
Don'tdon'tdon't
don't kick off, all right?
Listen, it's a fucking nightmare
here, all right?
I've got him going apeshit in there.
Fucking Manolito cunt!
At who?
At fucking Cardi.
Because if he doesn't bring
that 4ft rabbit quick,
he's gonna end up
on that fucking circle
having daggers and shit
thrown at him.
Where is this prick Manolito?
I'll fucking sort him out.
Do not fight Manolito. It's not gonna
go down well. He's like cartel.
Shit, he's there.
Did you speak to him?
I've spoke-
TOMMO: Make way! Go on, you too.
And you, big lad. I give to you
the biggest fucking rabbit
you've ever seen
in your goddamn life, sweetheart.
This is Albert. He likes eating
l-l-leaves and f-f-flowers.
Oh, my God. He is amazing.
He's all right, yeah.
He's perfect.
Lola is going to be over the moon.
Great, are you happy?Of course!
Get him some bloody cage.
# PATIENCE AND PRUDENCE:
Tonight You Belong To Me
I did it, Carol.
I s-s-stood up to Hardwick.
I got him good, you know.
Everything's going to be all right.
We're going to be all right.
You're a fighter. I always knew it.
Kevin. I owe you big time.
Anything you want, you name it.
The name's C-Cardi.
Cardi, have you seen Lola?
N-not yet.Who's Lola?
Manolito's little girl.
It's her birthday party.
Yeah, Cardi,
she's not a little girl.
Fucking hell.
# NICK DRAKE: River Man
'Ey up, Dyl.
I've just got a minute to myself,
thought I'd give you a shout.
Been thinking of you, man.
What can I tell you?
Been doing therapy,
you'll be pleased to hear.
Unpacking a bunch of shit there.
Erm
I've realised, dude,
I have - fuck me -
a complete inability
to cope with change.
Which is fucked.
So, I mean, anyway
it's getting a little bit better.
I'm starting to understand it,
less frustrated.
I could do with telling you about it
properly really.
Fuck, dude, I miss you, man.
Yeah. And I love you very much.
Vincent!Mm.We're about to do the
presents. What are you doing here?
I'm just having a minute. I don't
like parties, you know.
You cannot miss Lola -
her face when she sees that bunny.
I'll just have a minute, I think.
Everything all right?
Yeah, yeah.
You know, the bunny, it's erit's
really something. I owe you guys.
Are you happy wi' it?Mm.Then maybe
we could call it quits now.
I got you a giant fucking rabbit
andyou were a sweetheart,
you saved my best friend
from the MacDonaghs.
So
I reckon that does it, don't it?
Sure thing.
I gotta get back to that rabbit.
See you later.
Mm.
# HOTEL LUX: The Last Hangman
Here she is everyone.
Here's the birthday girl.
# Happy birthday to you! #
You're not going to believe
what I've got for you, baba.
You're not going to believe it!
Lola. Lola.
Hey, Lola, this way. This way.
You're not going to believe it.
Where is it? Where'd it go?
Where is the rabbit?
Where the fuck is the rabbit?!
Vincent!
'It's Manolito.
He's the one pretending to be Dylan.'
He's the fucker that got us believing
it was the MacDonaghs.
Fucking Lowry did minge paintings.
We'll steal 'em, put 'em in fucking
Manolito's house, ring the coppers.
'We are from Cuddlipps
art restorers.'
Police. You need
to get the fuck out of there.
Fuck!
# So much trouble in my mind
# I've got so much trouble in my mind
# I've got so much trouble in my mind
# I've got so much trouble in my mind
# Give me the strength to carry on
# Give me the strength
to carry on #
This programme contains
very strong language
from the outset and throughout.
What is fucking going on wi' you?
It's the swimming trunks.
They just bunch everything up.
I mean, dude, why are you wearing
swimming trunks? It's madness.
In case we go in the hot tub.
What?!
Manolito's hot tub.
Tommo said you went in it.
Sweetheart, this is not
a fucking hot-tub occasion.
We're dropping off some bales
and getting the fuck out.
I want to be in and out.
Oh.Get your shit together.
Stop itching your dick.
Excuse me, love.Hiya.Do you know
where Manolito is, by any chance?
Ertry the back garden.
Excellent. Ta.
Butbut why not?
What do you Listen, give over.
It's a bath, innit?
If you wanna go in the fucking
hot tub, you've gotta ask him.
I can't ask him.I don't hardly know
him. He thinks I'm called K-Kevin.
Well, put him right then, dude.
Maybe you should.
Putting him right, dude.
Listen, some things,
you have to do on your own.
You know what I mean?
What the fuck's going on out there?
How come Tommo got to go in it?
Be Look leave the fucking hot tub
alone now, all right?
He's a temperamental bastard
at the best of times.
Just get on wi' him.
Know what I mean?
MAN: It takes a long time
to work out how to do this safely.
We've been trained!
MAN:
Who says I want to do it safely?
I'm begging you, it's only a rabbit.
Sorry.
Sorry, are you?You'll kill him!
I don't think you're sorry enough.
No, please.You are getting on my
nerves.Please!You want to be next?
Oh, my
Fucking hell. You all right, dude?
How's it going?
Vincent!
Hiya, Manolito.
AhKevin.
No. Please. No.
Oh.I'm sorry.
That's not good.
Whoa.
Ohh! Blinking hell.
Please!
Whoa. Fucking hell.
It's my Lola's fourth birthday.
I'm throwing her
a special birthday party.
Aw! H-happy birthday
to the l-little lady.Thank you.
Are you laying on weed
for a four-year-old's party?
It's for the grown-ups.Madhead
I've got a lot of people coming.
I want everyone
to be nice and relaxed.Sure.
People come round here,
they're always so uptight.Yeah.
I hear hot tubs are good for that
sort of thing. S-so I've been told.
I didn't know you had
Is that fella gonna be OK
spinning round on that thing there?
You don't need to worry.
I'm gonna take care of him.
Come.
One person has let me down already.
Completely unforgiveable.
Fucking hell.Jeez.
Mr Rabbit Man here, took my money
for a thoroughbred snow white
bunny rabbit as fluffy as a cloud.
On the day of my Lola's birthday he
comes to me, says there is problem.
I could get you an iguana.
Lola don't want no stinking iguana.
Lola wants the rabbit
she was promised
and has been looking forward to
for the last six fucking months.
Is this as fast as this thing goes?
No. No!
Hey. I'm ready for the blindfold.
The blindfold? No!
I-I-I'll get you a w-white bunny.
You bring me rabbit?
Yeah, sure. I-I-I'll g-get you one.
N-n-no problem-o.You let me down,
I'll have to put you on the target.
No, please. No. No, no.
# BARRETT STRONG:
Money
Fuck sake.
A fucking drought on bunnies.
Do you know what I mean?
Are they not shagging enough?
Who the fuck knew that?
Well as it happens, I did.
Heh-heh hey-hey!
Jim!
# Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh hey!
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh hey! #
Yeah!All right then.
Hey. Did somebody orderrabbits?
Yeah, I did, yeah.
Ta-da!
Take your pick.
What-what-what-what are they?
They're rabbits, innit?They're not.
They're fucking march hares.
Fuck. What did I say to you?
I said fluffy white rabbit, dude.
All right, off-white.Fucking
off-white? They're fucking dead.
Well, what do you want
fucking live ones for?
Dead ones are better.
How are they better?
It's for a fucking child's birthday.
She's fucking four years old.
A rabbit? As a pet?
Yeah.I've fucking heard it all now.
They're vermin.
Fucking horse is a pet.
A dog is a pet.
Animals that don't mind doing
an honest days work,
not fucking layabouts like rabbits
and fucking goldfish!
Them lazy bastards
Will you sod off, you?
Ah, fuck you!
Jesus Christ.
Who the fucking hell's that now?
Fuck, it's Ronnie.
What do you want, you cunt?
I hear you're on the lookout
for a fucking fluffy white rabbit.
Right. Well, has it got a fucking
pulse?Yeah, man, he's got a pulse.
It's like that.
Ronnie listen to me now.
If come down there and it's
a fucking chinchilla or it's dead,
I'm gonna lose me shit, dude.Great
rabbits don't come fucking cheap.
Fuck, how much do you want for it,
you fucking idiot?
What d'you mean? I want the rabbit's
weight in weed, fucking obviously.
Wait a sec.
Vinnie?
Well, it's about 80, 90% fluff.
Yeah, 85.
Well, how much does fluff weigh?
Fluff, well, it's er
about the same as wool.
Do I look like I understand the
weight of wool, like a Saxon trader,
you fucking lemon, eh?
Jesus fucking wept.
How much does a rabbit weigh?
About half a cat?Half a cat.
That'll do. I'll see you
up at Jim's farm in half an hour.
# METALLICA: Sad But True
Fucking dick. That's a lot bigger
than I thought he'd be.
Take a look at Albert.
We're gonna need more weed, Vinnie.
Shit. Fuck sake.
I mean, what kind of a fucking diet's
this lad on?
Big man.Has he ever fucking seen a
carrot, this lad? He's a meat eater.
He's fucking huge. He is massive.
He's like a fucking white giant.
Everything's fucking huge to you
though, innit?
Ohh.Yes!
Ohh.
That's a lot.Ohh.
Stop making that fucking noise.
We better pay him,
otherwise this knobhead's
gonna get span and skewered
at a child's party.
Can you take him to Manolito
without any fuck-ups?Yeah, course.
Good lad. Go on, get gone.
Bye.
Sorry I'm late, are you pissed off
with me?No, not really,
but I want you to take this time
that we have together seriously.
It's precious time, Vinnie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry.
So, I met Erin, like you asked.
She's a good soul.
Oh.She cares for you.
Therapist approved, is she?
I always feel like I hold her back.
From what I can see, Erin knows
how to look after herself.
Oh.
Do you mind being outside today?
No, no. Hell no. It's nice, innit?
I've always preferred
being outside anyway,
ever since being little, I reckon.
Yeah? What would you do?
'I was always going down to the woods
y'know.
'It was quiet there.
No-one bloody shouting at me
'or fucking laughing at me
'..like in school.
Just a lot of trees.
'Bugs andleaves.
'There were these deer.
'Do you know, I'd wait for them for
bloody hours. I'd keep really still.
'I just I wanted to get close to
them you see. Just I don't know
'They didn't have any bloody
expectations of me
'or fucking demands.
'And they looked like
they belonged where they were.
'Then once this bloody massive one,
I remember him passing right by me.
'I could've touched it.
'Maybe it is stupid but I just
' I felt like it was trying
to tell me summat, y'know.
'Never felt so bloody safe.
'I just
'I wished I could just stay
in them woods forever.'
Do you find yourself
envying the deer?
Yeah. Fucking hell. I still do.
You know, they just look like
they belong there.
Just a part of all of it.
The environment, the landscape.
And they were just always so
..adaptable
and I really liked that about them.
Hm. Adaptable.
How where they adaptable?
Well, it just didn't matter
how brutal it got for them.
They wouldn't dwell on any of it.
Just power through
and get on with things.
And you think that's an important
ability for an animal -
to 'get on with things'?
Well, of course it is, innit?
Yeah? Because?
Well, because if you don't
You know, if you don't move on,
you won't fucking survive.
It's just life.
And it is brutal, bloody cruel
all at the same time but
It is. It's just the way things are.
It's life.
Yes.
# SAM COOKE: What A Wonderful World
All right?
"Oh, Kevin, you are my hero."
"My name's actually Cardi." "Oh, my
God, I've been calling you Kevin!"
"It's all right, it doesn't matter,
just for future.
"Get up off your knees,
Manolito, there's no need"
"No, Cardi, I am serious, baby.
"If there's anything you ever
"possibly want from me,
I'll give it to you."
"ErI really don't think that
there's anything
"Actually, do you know what?
"When we were walking
through your house
"that wasn't a hot tub
I saw back there, was it?"
Oh! Fucking hell! You
all right? You all right, Albert?
Shit.
Oh, shit. I-I-I'm really sorry,
I d-didn't see you there.
Reallyreally it's not a problem.
You barely touched us.Hang on.
Thought I
recognised that cretinous stutter.
What the fuck were you thinking,
driving so recklessly?
I w-w-wasn't. J-j-j
W-w-w-w!
Yes, you fucking were,
you dribbling, inbred twat.
You've given me whiplash. Where's your insurance?
I-I-I-I'm in the p-p-process
of applying for it.
Ooh
I would not want to be you
right now. High-speed crash.
Innocent party. Life-changing
injuries.Russell!No.
I'm afraid I'm going to have
to report this, Lucinda,
let the police deal with it.
Oh, no, don't
Please, please, please.
Please, I'll do anything.I'm
looking at extensive physio here.
We're talking thousands.
I don't see any way round it.
I'll do anything. Please.
All right. You got six grand?
Eh?Compensation. Should be ten
but we'll call itsix for cash.
Keep you out of prison.
II don't have s-s-s-s-six grand.
All right, well, what about your mam
or your grandma
or er
What the fucking hell is that?
He-he-he's just a friend. I just
No, he's just a friend!
He's just a friend.
Please,
he's very-very-very, p-p-precious!
Is he?
Don't worry, I won't hurt him.
Whoa!
Oh!
Look the size of this bastard!
C-can I have him back now, please?
Yeah, course you can. Just get me
six grand and you can have him.
You know where I am.
# TAME IMPALA: Elephant
Shit.
# I Feel Good
Carol?
You all right?No.
Something terrible's happened.
Fucking Russell Hardwick's
taken Manolito's daughter's rabbit.
Remind me why I should give a shit.
I told Manolito I'd get him a rabbit
cos there was a man on a
spinning wheel. And I got a rabbit.
Then I bumped the van and-and now
I'm gonna be on the fucking wheel
and I really don't want to be
What day is it, Cardi?
Wednesday. No, er
Saturday. Is it?
It's our anniversary, Cardi.
Does it mean that little to you?
What? No. No. No. No. No. I just
Just I thoughtthought
it was a d-d-d-different day.
No. It's today.
Your present's over there.
Oh, wow.
That is It's lovely.
I love it.
Erm, er
All right, I'll just
I'll be back in five minutes.
Where are you off to?
Just popping to the shop to g-g-g
get a card and some flowers.
I don't fucking want a card
and fucking flowers
from the fucking shop.
It's too late.
It's the fucking gesture that counts.
The remembering.
Look, I'm sorry, Carol, I thought
I thought it were a different month.
I've had a really shit day.
Russell Hardwick's been so mean.
Jesus Christ! Him again?! Would you
never learn to stand up for yourself?
People like him are gonna walk
all over you unless you do.
I didI did stand up to him.
If you never stand up for yourself,
how can I ever expect you
to stand up for me, huh?
You don't need standing up for.
What? Why the fuck not?!
Because you scare people, Carol.
What the hell do you mean?
You're aggressive! Everyone's too
scared to argue with you,
no-one ever says nothing
you won't like
in case you say something mean
to them because you're mean.
Is that fucking right? Now we're
finding out how things really are.
Shows you how wrong I was
about this fucking relationship.
Nothing's wrong with it.
Are you fucking joking me?
There's only one of us doing anything
in this relationship.
I'm more like a mother to you than
I am a lover.What's wrong with that?
Oh, Christ almighty! Cardi!
You can't go through
your whole fucking life
expecting everyone
to mop up after you.
I need someone
with a level of emotional maturity.
Someone who can support me
if I need them to.
Someone that I can depend on.
You can depend on me!
I can't even depend on you to
remember the fucking anniversary.
I did remember it.
I just remembered a different day!
Fuck!
I can stand up for myself!
I can do all those things
you want me to do.
I can change, Carol.
I think my mum might be a bit more
eager to celebrate than I am.
I think she really
wants to let her hair down.
What, at a baby shower?
She's kind of treating it a bit
more like the hen-do I never had.
Oh, God. OK. Well, she'll
calm down once we get to the spa.
Yeah.
Look up there.
Little cloud balloons. How cute.
Baby shower! Whoo-hoo!
Let's do it!
Oh, God.
Whoo-hoo!
Here we go. Cheers.
Right, here you go. This one's for
you, Sugar.Thank you. Very nice.
# DONNA SUMMER: I Feel Love
Ohh!
Mum, again.
This has got alcohol in it.
Er, yeah, it's a cocktail, innit?
It's not a hen-do.
It's a baby shower.
And I can't drink alcohol
because I'm eight months pregnant.
I was a fortnight in Magaluf with
the girls
when I was pregnant with you.
Never did me any harm.You what?
I booked it before I found out.
It was a hundred quid deposit.
God!
Do you want me to change it?
Carol, you made it!
Are you all right, love?
To tell the truth, I'm not, Liz.
Let's turn this off.
I wasn't so sure that I should come.
Are you OK, Carol?
I don't know where to start now.
I've been called
all sorts of things today.
What? By who?
Cardi.
Cardi?
Cardi called you names?
Like what?
Likeaggressive
..and mean
Right.
OK.
Scary.
Yeah.
Mm.
I just don't know if I see a future
for us now, likelike this.
I need someone thatthat
cares about what I need, y'know.
# BILLY STEWART: A Fat Boy Can Cry
Russell! I want a word with you!
Can I help you?Yeah, you can
give me my fucking rabbit back.
I beg your pardon?
You heard me.
I want my fucking rabbit back, now!
All right, let's just go over here.
No, how about we stay right here
and talk about you stealing
people's rabbits?!
Let's just calm down, shall we?I'm
not fucking calming down, I am calm.
All right. OK, OK. Take a breath.
I want my fucking rabbit back now.
All right. This rabbit
means a lot to you, doesn't it?
I know we've had our differences
and that's probably just as m-m-much
my fault as it is yours.
I'm not a s-s-s-successful man
like you, Russell.
I don't have riches
and I don't want 'em either.
All I want is my wife, Carol,
and for her to be happy
and she's n-n-not happy
because I don't stand up for myself.
I know.
You'd do anything for her, wouldn't
you?I fucking would.Yeah.
All right. Suck my plums.
Eh?
Go on.
Suck my plums.
You said you'd do anything.
Fuck off, man!
Don't pick on me.
My wife thinks I'm a loser.
Get out.
Christ.
I'm not scared of you, Russell.
You're just a c-c-c-c-c
You c-c-c-c-c-c
c-can't even say it, can you?
I bet you can even fucking spell it.
Turf him out.
Make sure he don't come back.
Get off!
II can fucking spell it!
You've analysed it yourself
as well as I ever could.
Like them deer?
Yes.
Exactly like them.
The only constant is change.
Mm.
People move away, you know.
They find work,
theythey fall in love,
they pass away from illness
or old age.
People can come into and out
of our lives in an instant.
It doesn't mean we have to like it,
but it's just life.
That's how it is. Like those leaves
on the trees, always renewing.
Things renew, Vinnie.
Change is everywhere.
I know. I know what you mean. I know.
Likelike Dyl leaving or my mum.
Mm.
I know it's meant to be normal
..but it just makes me
so fucking sad.
Fuck. Perhaps I'll get over it.
Yeah. But he's harmless.
Yeah, and he's a sweet guy.
Am I not allowed to be angry
because everybody loves him?
Yous don't have to live with him.
So what am I?
Am I a bad person
for feeling this desperate?
When I have to do everything for him?
Everything!
And if I leave it up to him,
Mother of Jesus, he's
he's like your man with fucking
gold fingers but only in reverse.
Everything he touches turns to shite.
Look, Carol, it's Cardi, all right?
He loves you, you love him.
But men used to desire me.
I want to be desired.
They always admired me.
I mean, although, admittedly,
it was fleeting but
They used to be fighting
over me in the kebab shop.
But how many of them
were ever any good for you?
That's not the point, Sugar!
The point, is that I felt desired
and it doesn't happen any more.
Oh, course it does.
Cardi desires you.
Well, if he does,
he doesn't know how to show it.
Ah, sure, fuck.
I thought I could
I thought I could fix him up,
you know, like
I thought I could train him
to be better.
I need to get out of here, lads,
need to just get my head sorted.
Do you want us to come with you?
No, no. I'll just go on me own.
Jesus.
God.
# JOHNNY CASH: Hurt
One of them.
And two of those cream puffs.
The choux de la creme?
You having people over?
Am I fuck. Don't bother boxing
'em up, just hand 'em over.
Oh.
I may regret asking,
but is everything all right?
No, it's not, Graham.
I'm a complete disaster, man.
I ruin everything I touch.
Relationships. Children's
birthday parties. You name it.
A chap I used to know quite well
was convinced he was a failure too,
once upon a time.
Always beating himself up, he was.
Constantly telling himself
how bad he was at everything.
You know what happened to him?
He was you.
What? No, he bloody well
jumped in front of a train.
Oh.
Why would you think I
The point is, repeating
negative thoughts of ourselves
only reinforces negativity.
You need to do what I do
every morning.
You look in the mirror and you
visualise the man you want to be
and ask him what would he do,
see yourself doing that,
and then
go and blooming well do it.
I mean, imagine if I'd given up
the first time I got a soggy bottom.
I've got
I've got an idea.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna do summat.
I'm going to do summat!Are you
gonna pay for those, you fucker?
Put them on the tab!
You haven't got a tab!
# DAVID BOWIE: Modern Love
# And when to stay in
# Get things done
# I catch a paper boy
# But things don't really change
# I'm standing in the wind
# But I never wave bye-bye
# But I try
# I try #
'Ey up!
Ooh! Hiya. Are you all right?
Ooh, are you all right,
Meena, sweetheart?
What brings you here?
Just dropping off some info
on personal funeral plans
Tommo was interested in.Yeah. I was,
actually. So, thank you, Meena.
Funeral business
is a massive rip off.
Yeah, well, they seem pretty happy.
I think you'll find, Jim, our
packages are competitively priced.
Not compared to my pit, you're not.
Your pit?
It's great, my pit.
Nothing that goes in there
ever comes back out.
And it costs fuck all.
And that's where I'm going.
Sorry. Guys! Guys!
What, Cardi?!
I've got an idea.
CARDI: 'Everyone's too scared
to argue with you, no-one ever
says nothing you won't like
in case you say something mean to
them because you're mean.'
# The knives are out
# We are broken
# You spat your truth
# I hope you're choking
# You will never be the man
I wish that you could be
# Before your time,
the lads were fighting over me
# Two weddings in
# What was I thinking?
# Not one of us
# Young lad from England
I don't need a baby.
I need you.
# Too late for me
to have the baby of your dreams
# Held on for life and prayed
that I was all you'd need
# Where will I go?
That's lovely!
# Who will love me?
# Stand up and fight
# If I am worthy
# I'm only tough, my love,
because I had to be
# You brightened everything
when you sat next to me
I really fucking love her, man.
And I need her.
# Everybody suffering
# We all had a part to play
# Looking for someone to blame
# Love is the only way
# Will we try again?
# Nights on my own
# Time moves so slowly
# No-one should live
# This life so lonely
What about getting
to know each other?
What about
Romeo, meet Cardi.
# You saved me from my days
of dark debauchery
# You knew just who I was
# Don't twist your knife in me
Fuck!
# Where will I go?
# Who will love me?
# Stand up and fight!
# If I am worthy
# I'm only tough, my love,
because I had to be
# You brightened everything
when you sat next to me
# Sit next to me
# Sit next to me
# And we'll see #
Right, I'm gonna sneak in
through the front.
You and Tommo go in through the
kitchen, right, pose as caterers.
They're short-staffed. Just say that
the agency sent you.Right.
What am I doing?
You're the getaway driver.Yes!
I think Albert will be in t'main
room.Albert's the giant rabbit?
Yes, so
Got ya.
You two go in there, you blend in -
collect plates, glasses, whatever.
Then, when I pull the fire alarm,
you escort everyone to the emergency
exits, I'll go in, grab Albert,
meet back here, Jim'll be waiting.
It's a bit light on revenge for me.
Hey, look, this is Cardi's plan.
It's a good one. Simple. Achievable.
You could take a shit on the table.
All right, bad Santa.
Quick in and out. Got it.
Look, you don't have to do this,
if you don't want to?
No, I do, I do. I really do.
I have to do it for me
and f-f-for Carol.
That's fair enough.
Got to do what you've got to do.
# KANYE WEST: Mercy
# It is a weepin' and a mournin'
and a gnashin' of teeth
# It is a—when it comes to my sound
which is the champion sound
# Believe, believe
# O-O-O-OK, Lamborghini Mercy
# Your chick, she so thirsty
# I'm in that two-seat Lambo
with your girl, she tryna jerk me
# OK, Lamborghini Mercy
# Your chick, she so thirsty
# Lamborghini Mercy #
Fuck it.
# PATSY CLINE: Crazy
I'm starving.
Fuck this.
Anyway, now it's time
for the annual blooper reel.
So, if we could have the lights,
please?
And if anyone can be relied upon
to make the yearly blooper reel,
it is Roger Forsyth.
As can be witnessed
from this amazing video,
Roger has spent more time in bunkers
than Hitler, Goebbels
and Eva Braun put together.
As you can see, he's digging
his way through to Australia.
Nice one, Roger.
Mate, what are you doing?
Can someone get this tramp
out of my kitchen?
Fucking overcooked.Get out now.
It's fucking overcooked.
Call the fucking cops.
Fucking leg it!Sorry.
Who the fuck is that?
For fuck's sake.
Don't panic. Don't panic.
Panic! Fire! Run for your lives!
Fire! Get out! Run!
You?!
Argh!
MEENA: Get out! Get out! Get out!
I don't believe it.
It's that thick fuck.
Get him. Get him.
Get him. He's got the rabbit.
Shit. Oh, shit.
He's gone over there.
Spread out! For God's sake!
Get after him.
There he goes.
Hit the lights!
50 quid to whoever gets him.
Stop there, sunshine!
No, no, no stop, he's got him!
Fucking hell!
Get the buggy, get the buggy!
Let's go. Let's go!
Where the fuck is he?Who?
Fucking Kevin! I fucking warned him.
He thinks he can take the piss
out of me?
I'll murder his fucking family.
Shit!No-one pull this shit on me.
I swear no-one's pulling shit on you.
We wouldn't dare.
That's a gift from us to you.
I'm gonna find out where Kevin is
right the fuck now.
# LANGHORNE SLIM & THE LAW:
The Way We Move
Oh, I wonder where he can be
What a fucking simpleton.
I told you, didn't I?
You're trapped, you fucking inbred.
You go round there.
Fucking hell!
TOMMO: Right!
MEENA: Yes, Cardi!
Yes!
Whoo!
TOMMO: Go on, lad!
MEENA: Yes!
He's making for the exit.
Come on, run!Shit.
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
Do you hear me?
I'm gonna skin you alive!
And your fucking rabbit!
Check this out, Albert.
No, no, no, no, no!
No! What are you doing? No, stop!
What the fucking fuck is he doing?
He's ploughing!
He's fucking ploughing!
CARDI: Hey, Russell!
I think you'll find I can spell it!
Fu-u-u-u-uck!
Carol?Where is he, Vinnie?
Don'tdon'tdon't
don't kick off, all right?
Listen, it's a fucking nightmare
here, all right?
I've got him going apeshit in there.
Fucking Manolito cunt!
At who?
At fucking Cardi.
Because if he doesn't bring
that 4ft rabbit quick,
he's gonna end up
on that fucking circle
having daggers and shit
thrown at him.
Where is this prick Manolito?
I'll fucking sort him out.
Do not fight Manolito. It's not gonna
go down well. He's like cartel.
Shit, he's there.
Did you speak to him?
I've spoke-
TOMMO: Make way! Go on, you too.
And you, big lad. I give to you
the biggest fucking rabbit
you've ever seen
in your goddamn life, sweetheart.
This is Albert. He likes eating
l-l-leaves and f-f-flowers.
Oh, my God. He is amazing.
He's all right, yeah.
He's perfect.
Lola is going to be over the moon.
Great, are you happy?Of course!
Get him some bloody cage.
# PATIENCE AND PRUDENCE:
Tonight You Belong To Me
I did it, Carol.
I s-s-stood up to Hardwick.
I got him good, you know.
Everything's going to be all right.
We're going to be all right.
You're a fighter. I always knew it.
Kevin. I owe you big time.
Anything you want, you name it.
The name's C-Cardi.
Cardi, have you seen Lola?
N-not yet.Who's Lola?
Manolito's little girl.
It's her birthday party.
Yeah, Cardi,
she's not a little girl.
Fucking hell.
# NICK DRAKE: River Man
'Ey up, Dyl.
I've just got a minute to myself,
thought I'd give you a shout.
Been thinking of you, man.
What can I tell you?
Been doing therapy,
you'll be pleased to hear.
Unpacking a bunch of shit there.
Erm
I've realised, dude,
I have - fuck me -
a complete inability
to cope with change.
Which is fucked.
So, I mean, anyway
it's getting a little bit better.
I'm starting to understand it,
less frustrated.
I could do with telling you about it
properly really.
Fuck, dude, I miss you, man.
Yeah. And I love you very much.
Vincent!Mm.We're about to do the
presents. What are you doing here?
I'm just having a minute. I don't
like parties, you know.
You cannot miss Lola -
her face when she sees that bunny.
I'll just have a minute, I think.
Everything all right?
Yeah, yeah.
You know, the bunny, it's erit's
really something. I owe you guys.
Are you happy wi' it?Mm.Then maybe
we could call it quits now.
I got you a giant fucking rabbit
andyou were a sweetheart,
you saved my best friend
from the MacDonaghs.
So
I reckon that does it, don't it?
Sure thing.
I gotta get back to that rabbit.
See you later.
Mm.
# HOTEL LUX: The Last Hangman
Here she is everyone.
Here's the birthday girl.
# Happy birthday to you! #
You're not going to believe
what I've got for you, baba.
You're not going to believe it!
Lola. Lola.
Hey, Lola, this way. This way.
You're not going to believe it.
Where is it? Where'd it go?
Where is the rabbit?
Where the fuck is the rabbit?!
Vincent!
'It's Manolito.
He's the one pretending to be Dylan.'
He's the fucker that got us believing
it was the MacDonaghs.
Fucking Lowry did minge paintings.
We'll steal 'em, put 'em in fucking
Manolito's house, ring the coppers.
'We are from Cuddlipps
art restorers.'
Police. You need
to get the fuck out of there.
Fuck!
# So much trouble in my mind
# I've got so much trouble in my mind
# I've got so much trouble in my mind
# I've got so much trouble in my mind
# Give me the strength to carry on
# Give me the strength
to carry on #