Nurse Jackie s05e07 Episode Script

Previously on "Nurse Jackie" Patient suffered closed comminuted fracture to left radius.
Hey.
How'd it go with broken nose guy? Cunt! Cunt, whore, bitch, slut! She forgot to schedule two nurse shifts.
Hell, she even named me chief without telling anyone.
All right, what do you want? I want to know in a life-death business that we're all here.
I'm sorry, I think I'm a little nervous.
All you gotta do is meet me halfway, okay? You look pretty.
Okay, back in an hour.
Lunch.
With the handsome cop who just happens to be standing right over there? - Hi.
- Hey.
- I thought I was meeting you there.
- Yeah, you were.
Here's the thing they called me down to the South Street Seaport, so I'm sorry.
- And you came down here just to cancel? - Yeah.
I'm gonna cancel with a text message? What am I, a 14-year-old? - You'll give me a rain check? - Yeah, okay.
Good.
I have to go fight crime.
Yes, you do.
He canceled in person.
That's a really good sign.
- And you're still pretty.
- I know.
I'm gonna go see if Eddie's free.
Holy shit.
Well, it breaks up the day.
Fire in the hole! Yeah, that's Mr.
Collins, my psych patient.
Akalitus was supposed to get him a security escort upstairs.
Guess she forgot.
No! - All right, watch it.
- Fuck you guys! Hmm.
I've had dreams like this.
What a mess.
Well, I'm on lunch.
How can I help? Uh, you can start to sweep.
I gotta log every one of these pills before I throw it out.
Nobody move.
It's kind of pretty.
Nothing around here is ever pretty.
Thank you.
Patient presented with a compound fracture of the left fibula.
"Patient presented with a compound fracture" Gauze.
Gauze, please.
Lidocaine.
Today.
- Give me one second.
- It should already be ready.
I got it.
What's with the tap-out? I'll talk to her.
She'll be fine.
Don't worry about it.
- Sutures.
- You know, Marta's a temp.
She doesn't know where everything is.
Well, then, she needs to figure it out, now doesn't she? Uh, did anybody ever tell you you have a nice smile? - No.
- Hmm.
So, what, you don't think I'm nice? Well, personally I do very well with cranky people.
Some of my favorite people are cranky my grandfather, my mom's dog, Jackie.
And now you're putting me on that list.
We'll see.
Jackie, what are you doing? I'm helping.
Are you sure you're okay standing on a carpet of narcotics? Well, I know I'm only in my first year of recovery, but it was my understanding that unless you actually ingest them, you're fine.
- What a mess.
- So, um, you said you were gonna get an escort for that psych patient.
Got a lot going on today.
It must have slipped my mind.
You forgot, which is fine.
But that's kind of been happening a lot lately.
Do you think maybe you should talk to a doctor? I work in a hospital, Jackie.
All I do is talk to doctors.
You know, I'm just gonna say it.
Is it Alzheimer's? Is that what we're dealing with? Let's not jump off the cliff.
It's getting dangerous.
She's not talking about it.
She's obviously not doing anything about it.
It could be other things brain tumor, liver toxicity.
Ah, I feel so much better.
If we could get her to take a blood test, we might get some answers.
Yeah, good luck with that.
I just tried to talk to her about it and she stonewalled me.
- She'll never give a blood test.
- Maybe in her sleep? Hmm.
Six pills went missing after the cleanup.
Uh-oh, you know what that means.
Mandatory blood testing for everyone in and out of this room.
Protocol.
Patient suffered closed comminuted fracture to left radius.
- Hey, you.
- So I'm standing under a sign that says "South Street Seaport.
" This guy comes up to me and says, "Where is the South Street Seaport?" Knuckleheads.
Stay inside.
The city is teeming with knuckleheads.
And you called to tell me that? No, I just I feel bad about canceling.
Tell me how I can make it up to you.
- Uh, bring me back a hot pretzel.
- You got it.
One hot pretzel coming up.
Wait a minute, it's not gonna be hot by the time I get it to you.
Well, I'm sure we can heat it up.
I actually just said that.
Ugh, I'm sorry.
Don't you be sorry.
I'm gonna call you soon, all right? All right, bye.
This is weird.
- Okay.
- "Okay.
" - Okay.
- "Okay.
" - You're a slut.
- "You're a slut.
" - You're a bitch.
- Oh, my God.
- You're such a bitch.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, mama! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! You're a cunt! Oh, my God.
What's up, Zoey? I have a sex tape.
Not of me, of Coop.
- And he's saying really dirty things.
- Jesus.
- What are you bringing it here for? - Take it! - I don't want it.
- I don't want it either.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry I am late.
I hate that.
So Allison.
Allison.
What's up? I'm feeling really, really crappy.
- Crappy how? - Achy stomach hurts, sharp pain in my side.
Achy, right.
Temperature's elevated.
102.
Don't worry, Allison, we'll figure this out.
Right, Dr.
Roman? Yeah, there is a bug going around.
Take some Advil.
If the cramps get really bad, grab some over-the-counter antacids.
Upside of the flu skinny jeans tomorrow.
I think we might be missing something here.
Right, of course.
So, plenty of fluids Ah! Ah! Appendicitis? Classic.
No, I think it's just the flu.
Let's check it out.
Get her a CT scan of the right lower quadrant and call the OR.
Saving lives and taking names.
What? Okay, you're a slut.
- You're a bitch.
- Shit, shit! Okay, that wasn't me.
I mean, it was me, but I don't talk to women that way.
She had flash cards.
- She I'm not following.
Okay, I was minding my own business, doing dictation.
Dr.
Roman came into my office with flash cards.
The first one said, "Take your pants off," so Okay, stop.
Stop talking.
It's not my fault.
She was telling me what to do.
See, that's the problem.
You should be telling her what to do.
You saw what happened.
She missed the fucking appendicitis.
I'm shocked that got recorded.
Really? Zoey's not gonna be able to sleep for a week.
- I'm so embarrassed.
- Are you embarrassed enough to get your fucking head out of your ass? How many times do we have to have this conversation before you get it? Okay, you're right.
What do you want me to do? Well, maybe if you stopped fucking her and started teaching her, we all might be better off, including her.
Thank you.
Thirsty? I just got notice that there is a mandatory drug test.
I was only in the pharmacy for a minute.
So they're gonna find out you're diabetic, right? Let's just say that I went out with a 23-year-old dancer-slash-mime last night.
- Okay.
- No, not okay.
A mime? More of a Mummenschanz type it doesn't matter.
Let's just say that he hypothetically offered me a joint and let's just say that I hypothetically got baked, okay? I didn't even smoke in college.
And now I could lose my job? This is why I don't go out.
Thor, please stop.
Everything is gonna be fine.
That's what people always say right before everything turns to shit.
Listen, we need to run Akalitus's blood, find out about her memory issues.
So you save Akalitus, but you throw me under the bus.
- You always liked her better.
- Oh, please take it easy, Thor.
We know how to lose a blood specimen.
Trust me.
Jeez, look at those sharp military corners.
Oh.
- Thank you.
- No problem.
Oh, Dr.
Prentiss, I did not see you standing there.
- I don't do hugs.
- It's a gesture.
I don't believe in gestures.
Um yes, you do.
Respect, Doctor.
Are you crying? I have my eyelashes put on individually and sometimes they come loose.
It's a fucking mess.
That patient could have died.
Jesus.
I feel bad enough.
I'm not sure you do.
Look, we're not gods.
We don't always get it right.
But that one was pretty close.
"Madeline.
" - Excuse me? - You know, "Madeline.
" It's a kids' book.
French orphan.
Red bob, cute hat.
Yeah.
She had her appendix out.
It's the first medical thing any little girl learns.
And I missed it.
Carrie, can I just ask why do you want to be a doctor? Do yourself a favor.
Don't answer now.
Things have to change if you're going to stay here.
You have to get better.
I'm not letting anybody die because you're distracted.
So from now on, I am going to teach and you are going to learn.
Okay.
Give me your phone.
- What? - Your phone.
I'll put it in airplane mode.
Pay attention.
- Watch what I do.
- Okay.
Thank you, Dr.
Prentiss.
So generous.
- Hey, thanks.
- Thanks.
Thanks, Doc.
Sugar-free vanilla decaf, extra foamy.
Close enough.
This is really nice of you.
So I bought everyone coffee today, huh? As a gesture.
And you owe someone $43.
65.
- Hey, thanks for this.
- Coffees down, people.
Critical gunshot wound.
Three minutes out.
NYPD cop shot.
- Where are they coming from? - Where? South Street Seaport.
He's got two wounds one thoracic, one to the groin.
- Dr.
Prentiss, you're gonna need backup.
- Page Dr.
Cooper.
Get the sprained ankle out of the hallway into a bay.
Dr.
Cooper to Trauma.
Dr.
Cooper to Trauma.
We need all visitors to return to the waiting room, please.
We have to clear out this area.
And call Radiology, let them know we got a cop coming in.
Call the lab.
We need a stat type and cross as soon as the guy gets here.
- And get me some O neg blood down here.
- Yeah, it's on its way.
Where is he working? It's not him.
I can feel it in my gut.
- It's not.
- Zoey.
Oh, pick up.
Please pick up.
Please pick up.
Please pick up.
Hey, you've almost reached Frank Verelli.
Leave a message.
I'll get back to you.
Hi, uh, Frank.
It's Jackie.
Can you do me a favor and give me a call when you get this message, please? Uh yeah.
My phone is on, okay? Thanks.
Please call.
- What's his name? - Donnie Wallace.
Two entry wounds, no visible exit wounds.
No known allergies to medications.
Dispatch has already called his wife.
BP's 100/palp.
He's been in and out.
Lost him once in the truck, but got him back.
Okay, on my count.
One, two, three.
I got the leg.
Dr.
Cooper, you get the chest.
Hey, Donnie, I need you to stick with us, sweetheart, okay? Call X-ray.
We need a STAT portable chest now.
His wife is on the way.
Absent breath on the left side with tracheal shift.
- Chest tube.
- You hear that, Donnie? - Your wife is on her way.
- Fuck me.
Bullet may have torn through the femoral artery.
First thing you're gonna see when you open your eyes is your wife, and she is gonna be so happy.
- BP's dropping.
- He's bleeding out.
Can't see anything.
Gotta open him up.
Scalpel.
We can't do that here.
We need to stabilize him, get him upstairs.
I'm not gonna let him die on the elevator.
Scalpel.
Retractor.
Shit.
The artery's split.
I need 10 seconds of stillness.
I need five first.
- Okay, go.
- Okay, everybody, hands off.
I can't get it.
Fuck.
I can't get a grasp.
I got it.
- You good? - Good enough.
Let's get him to the OR.
Hey, do we do we know anything yet? Our best doctor is with him.
Hopefully it won't be much longer.
Did you want All right, they got the best they got.
Okay.
Officer Wallace is out of surgery.
He has a pneumothorax and a large pulmonary contusion on the left and the thoracic cavity was punctured by the Can I hold that for you? Donnie will be in the hospital for a while.
Then we're gonna move him on to rehab.
But let me tell you something.
He's made of some strong stuff and I guarantee you he will walk out of here.
Thanks, Doc.
Thank you.
Okay.
Officer, do you have a minute? Okay.
It's okay.
I'm fine, okay? All right? It wasn't me, okay? Jack, I wouldn't do that to you.
Oh, man.
He wasn't wearing his vest? Yeah, it was stuffy as hell in there.
So he took off his bulletproof vest? I've done it.
Do not tell me that.
Okay.
I will try not to do it again.
No, don't try.
Don't do it.
I don't know.
I kind of like it when you worry about me.
I get off in an hour.
Yeah, you don't understand.
Let me tell you what's gonna happen.
We're gonna hang around here for a little while longer till we decide it's time to go to the bar and get shitfaced.
I'm gonna have about five beers, then I'm gonna call you.
I'm gonna wanna come over and I'm gonna wanna sleep with you.
That's not the way I want it to happen between us, okay? So don't pick up the phone, no matter how many times I call.
How many times are you gonna call? I'm gonna call a lot, so don't pick up the phone.
Okay.
- I'm serious.
- Me, too.
I'm not interested in hearing about all the disgusting things that happen when cops get hammered.
Hey, you and me, we got a good thing going here.
And I don't wanna fuck this up with 11 beers in me.
You just went from five beers to 11 in about 30 seconds.
See what I mean? Okay, baby.
All right.
Hey, what doctor saved Donnie? Over there.
He's a hugger.
- Hey, Doc.
- Yeah.
Thank you.
- Thank you so much.
- Um Um, okay.
Okay, all right.
- Thank you.
- No problem.
Well, that was pretty awesome, right? I mean, the rush of saving a life.
I felt it today.
I felt what it feels like to be a doctor.
You are really full of shit.
Um you asked why I want to be a doctor.
I'm trying to answer your question.
You know how you answer that question? By trying.
By trying with a lady with the cramps and the guy with the fucked-up feet.
You start trying to treat people, and maybe there's an answer to that question.
Maybe there's not.
- That's up to you.
- You're talking a lot.
Because I want you to learn something every day.
And if I do my job right, I am going to teach you something.
So it's not just about you, okay? Wait.
Wow, I totally forgot you had this.
Ah, drug test time.
My future is on the line and you have the nerve to smile.
Your boys better lose that specimen.
Relax.
I got your back.
Gentlemen, I know this is somewhat of an inconvenience.
I appreciate your cooperation.
It's nothing.
I don't know about you guys, but when it's over, I'm going outside and smoking myself a big fat doobie.
Sorry.
I was counting pills all day.
Whoa, hold the door.
Hold the door.
Aha.
Thank you.
Jackie, everything gonna be okay upstairs? - 11 months and counting.
- Good.
Stop miming.
I'll never tell you anything again.
And we have more information on the NYPD officer who was shot today.
Doctors at All Saints Hospital upgraded Officer Donnie Wallace from critical to serious condition.
He's expected to make a full recovery.
Wallace is the third officer in the area shot in the past 10 days and that's not counting a patrolman shot last week who died this morning, leaving behind a wife and infant son.
- Ahem, hello? - One, two, three.
Oh, life could be a dream, sh-boom If I could take you up to paradise up above, sh-boom If I could tell me I'm the only one that you love Life could be a dream, sweetheart Hello, hello again Sh-boom, I'm hopin' to meet again Life could be a dream I told you not to pick up the phone! If I could take you up to paradise up above Shake your badges! If you would tell me I'm the only one that you love Life could be a dream, sweetheart Hello, hello again Sh-boom and hopin' we'll meet again It's my first beer, I swear! Sh-boom and hopin' we'll meet again Hello, hello again.