Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s05e11 Episode Script

1
Ah. No dragons,
no demons, no worries.
I hear ya, t.
Complete dullsville.
Worst vacation ever.
Jade, uncle and I
are going snorkeling.
Guess I'll go too.
Maybe I can
find some sunken
treasure or something.
Um, why don't you
stay on shore with tohru?
My feet could
use coat of sunblock.
No offense,
but I'd rather
kiss a sand crab.
Check it out!
Kung fu frisbee!
Hee-yaa!
-Huh?
-(Chuckles) Little help?
(Groaning)
(Grunting)
Jade?
(Groaning)
(Gasps)
(Screams)
Jade! You weren't
supposed to
Oh, why do I bother?
I knew this wasn't
really a vacation.
So, what's the 411
on the big blue marble?
No marble.
One half of
the arcanum of chi created
by ancient wizard madjo.
When reunited
with its other half,
it becomes a powerful relic,
increasing any chi spell,
ten-fold.
(Grunts) Got it!
-(Rumbling)
-(Gasps)
(Roaring)
-Bad day!
-Bad day!
Bad day!
(Roaring)
Ancient chi master
must have
cast protection spell.
-What was your first clue?
-(Both screaming)
Uncle!
I'm short-handed!
(Both screaming)
(Chanting)
Uh-oh.
Blowfish waterlogged.
(Roaring)
Jade! Uncle!
(Exclaims)
(Grunts)
(Roars)
(Both gasp)
(Panting)
-Uncle Jackie!
-(Coughing) Jade, wait!
(Screams)
(Roaring)
(Gasps)
Now this is a vacation.
Uh, okay if I sit here?
An alternative location
for your posterior
is advisable.
(Laughing)
Jade: I think
this belongs to you.
-Thanks, Jade.
-Tough day?
More like every day.
I don't fit
in with anyone.
I'm such a freakoid.
If you wanna
meet some real freakoids,
Uncle: Orb half
was hidden in watery,
cold location
representing yin chi.
Other half must be
in earthy, hot location,
representing Yang.
Location spell
will reveal exact whereabouts.
Tohru, begin!
Jackie's the world's
most kick-butt archeologist.
Uncle's a chi wizard
and the big guy's tohru,
uncle's apprentice.
My research suggests
the final ingredient
is essence of ginseng.
(Groans)
(Sneezes)
(Groans) I will never
be a chi wizard.
A chi wizard must learn
from defeats as well
as victories, tohru.
(Sneezes)
Aw, gross!
Hi, unc. Got a tissue?
Aiya! Jade knows uncle
does not like being spied on!
I was just giving my friend
Jimmy the vip tour.
Sorry. The smoke made me
(Sneezes)
(All gasp)
-Got it!
-(Uncle exclaims)
Arcanum,
ancient magical relic,
not pop fly!
Come, uncle.
We will take
the orb to section 13
for safe keeping.
It was nice
to meet you, Jimmy,
and good catch.
Is uncle always that cranky?
No. He is in a particularly
good mood today.
-(Hissing)
-Huh?
(Rapid footsteps)
(Gasps)
Unless uncle Jackie
went spandex,
looks like section 13's
got a thief.
Whoa! Whoa! A chi blast?
(Chanting)
(Gasp) Time portal!
(Screaming)
(Grunting)
Whoa. New and improved.
We gotta be talkin'
the future here.
(Grunts)
(Both gasp)
-Jade?
-What are you doing here?
This is my time, duh!
What's your story?
Some guy snagged
the arcanum of chi.
I chased him through
a time portal and,
babamo, here I am.
Iso!
(Beeping)
-No sign of him now
-Time out. Who's iso?
Only numero uno
on section 13's
most wanted list.
So why are we standing here?
Let's go track down
the bad guy.
Two jades
are better than one.
Love to, but no can do.
No can what?
Captain black's
put me on desk duty
for "unauthorized
use of a magical item,
"resulting in destruction
of public property."
(Scoffs) Like he never blew up
a donut shop with
a dragon talisman before.
Hmm. No prob.
I'll do some solo
re-con until you can
come out to play.
So, where does iso hang?
Intel suggests his lair
is somewhere
in the pavilion mall area
Wait, what am I saying?
If captain black finds
you here, I'll wind up
a section 13 janitor.
We have to send you back
to your own time.
Jade, we brought
your favorite,
triple black bean burritos.
Thanks.
Time hoppin' gives me
the major munchies.
All: Jade?
Aiya! Young Jade
and older Jade?
Uncle has deja vu
all over again.
Jade, explain.
Both: Iso stole our half
of the arcanum of chi
in the past
by using a time portal spell.
So I followed him through when
he escaped back to the future!
No please,
one Jade at a time.
Aiya! Why would iso
go to so much trouble,
unless
Unless he has discovered
the location of the other
half of the arcanum.
Jimmy: Sensei?
-Jimmy?
-Jade?
Uh, how come there's a
Which one is the
Both: Time portal spell.
But what are you doing here?
I'm tohru's apprentice,
he's a full chi wizard now.
Way to go, big t!
And you too, Jimmy.
I owe it all to you
for introducing us.
Captain black:
Agent chan!
Hide! Now!
Gentlemen. Jade,
I need you asap.
Yes, sir. I'm aware of
iso's recent break-in and
Iso? Here?
Nothing unusual popped
on the security grid.
I'll organize a team
to make a sweep
immediately.
Almost forgot.
Copy and collate these.
Yes, sir.
Jade Jade?
Where did she go?
Shopping for a bad guy.
Hello. May I interest you
in a beautiful
handmade mirror, today?
-No, thank you.
-(Whirring)
Look out!
A hologram hard sell.
Freaky!
Whoa! Jade, check it out.
The mirror lady's
totally virtual.
Come on, Jade, it's go time,
as in you have to go back
to your own time.
-What about finding iso?
-Not our problem.
What happened to you?
You used to rock!
Think I like
pushing papers all day?
I don't, but this is my job
and captain black is my boss.
You have to grow up
sometime, Jade.
Speak for yourself!
(Beeps)
-Uh-oh. What's happening?
-(Alarm blaring)
I'm not sure.
(Both screaming)
(Loud thud)
(Door opens)
Both: Phew!
Spell books, potions,
major funky mojo.
-This has to be
-Both: Iso's lair!
(Blowing)
-The arcanum!
-(Both gasp)
Both: Whoa!
(Grunts)
Iso: This must be
my lucky day.
What a bargain,
two jades for
the price of one.
(Screams)
Hee-yaa!
(Groans)
(Grunts) Timber!
(Groans)
Both: Nice work.
-Maybe we lost him.
-(Explosion)
(People screaming)
Maybe not.
Hop on.
(Chanting)
Dark chi coming up fast.
(Screaming)
(Roaring)
(Gasps)
-We can't out run it.
-I have an idea. Follow me!
(Roaring)
I sure hope you know
what we're doing
'cause I don't!
Climb!
(Screaming)
(Screaming)
Emergency exit!
I am very proud of you both.
The time portal spell
is ready.
So it's save the day
and don't let the door
hit you on the way out?
-Harsh.
-Captain black: Jade!
(Grunts)
I suppose congratulations
are in order.
-Well,
it was nothing really.
-You're too modest.
Who else could destroy
an entire shopping mall
in a single afternoon?
Captain black, believe me,
I know Jade does not always
follow the rules, but
I'm sorry, Jackie.
Jade, you're like family,
but enough is enough.
Turn in your badge,
you're fired.
-You can't do that!
-Jade?
(Stuttering)
- I'm sending you both home,
immediately.
(Sighs)
Jade, wait!
Whoa!
-Jimmy, what are you
-Jade, just listen.
I figured out a spell
to locate the other half
of the orb.
(Chanting)
Whoa! That's eagle's peak,
a dormant volcano
just outside the city!
Jimmy, you're a genius!
You up for a little
rock climbing?
Me? I'm not a field agent.
But if I were,
and I needed to
do something major
to win back my job
I knew there was a reason
we became friends.
Jade, we have to talk.
Shouldn't you be hurtling back
through the time continuum
about now?
Doesn't matter,
if you'll excuse me,
I have to pack up my stuff.
Okay, be all mopey,
but I know where
to find the other half
of the arcanum.
-Whoa!
-I'm listening.
(Grunting)
Hello, beautiful.
(Screeching)
That madjo wizard
- must have cast a protection
spell over this half too!
Duh!
(Grunts) Whoa!
That pigeon
needs a manicure.
We are so outta here!
-Repel!
-(Both screaming)
Between those boulders!
(Screeching)
I like the way you think.
Of course!
The other half of arcanum
was atop volcanic mountain!
Yang location,
earthy and hot!
Well done, uncle.
Uncle was not responsible.
Tohru?
-Actually it was
-Jimmy: Me.
It took me over
10 years of research,
but now I'm going
to reap the rewards.
"Reap the rewards?"
Jimmy, what are you
talking about?
Actually, call me
Iso!
(All gasp)
(Grunting)
(Chanting)
Aiya! Tohru, your apprentice
has been seduced by dark chi!
Oh, this is all my fault!
No, I owe it all to Jade.
She introduced us.
Both: Our bad.
Since I never fit in
with any cliques,
it's time to create my own!
(Chanting)
Whoa.
Go low!
(Grunting)
(Grunting)
(Screaming)
(Grunts)
Uncle! Do something!
The arcanum
is too powerful.
Must first find
Jimmy's weakness.
don't ever call me
Jimmy again.
Aiya!
Both: You thinking
what I'm thinking?
T, the time portal spell!
Need it!
(Grunting)
-Now?
-No time like the present!
Secure all exits!
don't worry, captain black.
I'm not going anywhere.
Once I level this dump,
no one will able to stop me.
(Chanting)
(Growling)
(Grunting)
He has an endless army
of isos.
-How do we stop him?
-Magic must defeat magic.
Hold the line.
Uh, excuse us, big t,
gotta talk to Jimmy,
it's kinda personal.
Tell me what scares
you the most.
Aw, I knew it!
You're just like all the rest.
Well, if you think
I'm gonna tell you how
to torture me, forget it.
-Seriously, we haven't
got time for this.
-Hey.
(Grunts)
Welcome to the future.
Come on.
(Grunting)
That's me.
-Do I rock, or what?
-What about me?
You're more like disco.
(Grunting)
(Chanting)
I'm the bad guy?
Way bad,
but you don't have to be.
Heights.
I'm afraid of heights.
Right. That's why you
didn't get your backpack
out of that tree.
Or climb eagle's peak
to grab the other half
of the orb.
Iso tricked us into doing
his dirty work for him!
(Grunting)
Talismans!
Get your talismans!
(Meowing)
(Chanting)
(Grunting)
Hee-yaa!
(Screaming)
(All gasp)
Got it!
Huh?
Iso: (Shuddering)
Put me down!
If you insist.
(Screaming)
I may be a freakoid now,
but there's no way
I'm turning into
a mega-loser like you.
Jade, I'm a big enough man
to admit when I am wrong.
Your old job's waiting
for you at section 13.
Yes, sir!
We won't let you down, cb.
I mean, she won't.
I know you won't.
This is such a relief,
the filing was really
beginning to pile up.
Even with iso in custody,
I believe it will be safer
to destroy the arcanum
back in your time, Jade.
Thanks for the reboot.
Guess I just needed
a little kick in the butt
to start kicking butt again.
No prob. Hey,
maybe I'll come back
and visit sometime.
All: No!
Aiya! Half orb missing!
Two halves are better
than one, I always say.
Jade, explain.
Hey, Jackie, do you ever wish
you could see into the future?
Oh, yes. I really hope
I can have this kind of power.
I can see the future.
I can predict what happens.
Then, I guess,
I believe I can save
a lot of people.