The Brady Bunch (1969) s05e11 Episode Script

1
HERE'S THE STORY
OF A LOVELY LADY
WHO WAS BRINGING UP
THREE VERY LOVELY GIRLS ♪
ALL OF THEM HAD HAIR OF GOLD ♪
LIKE THEIR MOTHER
THE YOUNGEST ONE IN CURLS
IT'S THE STORY
OF A MAN NAMED BRADY ♪
WHO WAS BUSY
WITH THREE BOYS OF HIS OWN ♪
THEY WERE FOUR MEN
LIVING ALL TOGETHER ♪
YET THEY WERE ALL ALONE
TILL THE ONE DAY WHEN
THE LADY MET THIS FELLOW ♪
AND THEY KNEW THAT IT WAS
MUCH MORE THAN A HUNCH ♪
THAT THIS GROUP
MUST SOMEHOW FORM A FAMILY ♪
THAT'S THE WAY WE ALL
BECAME THE BRADY BUNCH ♪
THE BRADY BUNCH
THE BRADY BUNCH
THAT'S THE WAY
WE BECAME THE BRADY BUNCH ♪
ISN'T DAD HOME YET?
NO, HE ISN'T, PETER, AND I SUGGES
YOU GO BACK TO YOUR HOMEWORK.
I CAN'T CONCENTRATE
SINCE DAD CALLED
AND SAID HE HAD
A BIG SURPRISE FOR US.
WELL, HOW ABOUT SURPRISING HIM
BY GOING BACK AND FINISHING
YOUR HOMEWORK, OK?
OK, I'll GIVE IT ANOTHER TRY, BU
I CAN'T GUARANTEE THE RESULTS.
HE'S NOT HOME YET.
THIS IS THE LONGEST DAY
OF MY WHOLE LIFE.
NOTHING TO DO BUT HOMEWORK.
ALICE?
YOUR DAD'S NOT HOME YET.
HOW'D YOU KNOW I WAS GONNA ASK?
'CAUSE I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU IN AND OU
OF THE KITCHEN SO MUCH WITHOUT EATING.
OH, WELL, THANKS
FOR REMINDING ME.
(Carol) HEY, EAT THAT OUTSIDE.
KIDS, THEY'RE SO IMPATIENT.
YEAH, I'M GLAD WE'RE
PAST THAT STAGE.
RIGHT. I MEAN, IF WE'LL ALL
JUST KEEP COOL AND CALM,
HE'LL GET HERE WHEN HE CAN
AND THEN HE'LL TELL US
WHAT THE SURPRISE IS.
[car horn honking]
HE'S HERE! HE'S HERE,
EVERYBODY! HE'S HERE!
(Peter) DAD'S HOME!
[all clamoring]
(Carol) OH, HI, HONEY!
[all shouting greetings]
MOM TOLD US NOT TO ASK YOU
ANYTHING ABOUT THE BIG SURPRISE.
SO WE'RE NOT ASKING.
BUT IF YOU WAN
TO VOLUNTEER, DAD
WELL, YOU KNOW THESE PLANS
I'VE BEEN WORKING ON FOR WEEKS?
YES.
MR. PHILLIPS IS SENDING ME
TO CINCINNATI TO SUBMIT THEM.
THAT'S THE BIG SURPRISE?
THERE IS ONE OTHER SMALL DETAIL.
YEAH, WHAT'S THAT?
THE PLANS ARE FOR
A BIG AMUSEMENT PARK
AND I THOUGHT YOU'D
ALL LIKE TO GO WITH ME.
[all cheering]
I'M SURE YOU'RE GOING TO BE
MORE THAN PLEASED
WITH THE SKETCHES AND IDEAS,
MR. REMINGTON.
UH, YES. WELL, I SORT OF
THOUGHT WE'D HAVE MORE
NO, SURE, SURE, I
UNDERSTAND. 1:00 WILL BE FINE.
YEAH, WELL, I'll LOOK FORWARD
TO MEETING YOU AND MR. DEMPSEY.
OK. GOODBYE.
THAT'S GREAT.
WE COME ALL THE WAY HERE,
AND I HAVE A FAS
HALF HOUR FOR A MEETING
BEFORE THEY HAVE TO CATCH
A PLANE TO NEW YORK.
WELL, HONEY, AT LEAST WE'LL HAVE
ALL MORNING IN THE PARK WITH THE KIDS.
YEAH. HEY, WHERE DO YOU
WANT ME TO PUT THESE?
LET'S PUT 'EM RIGHT HERE,
WHERE WE CAN KEEP AN EYE ON 'EM.
OK. YOU KNOW,
I THINK THIS IS GONNA BE FUN.
IT REMINDS ME A LITTLE
OF OUR HONEYMOON, REMEMBER?
HOW COULD I FORGET,
WITH 6 KIDS ALONG?
[laughing]
(Cindy) THEY'VE GOT EVERYTHING!
(Jan) WHAT A PARK!
(Peter) YOU WON'
BELIEVE ALL THE RIDES!
(Marcia) AND THE
GROUNDS ARE BEAUTIFUL!
(Greg) SO ARE THE GIRLS!
WELL, LET'S GET GOING. OK, OK.
[children shouting]
WE'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
AS I SAID,
JUST LIKE OUR HONEYMOON.
YEAH.
(Marcia) HEY, HEY, WHY
DON'T WE GO DOWN THERE?
OK, KIDS, I TELL YOU WHAT,
GO WHEREVER YOU LIKE,
JUST REMEMBER WE MEET BACK A
THE MAIN RESTAURANT AT NOON SHARP.
OH! HEY! GREAT!
OK, WE'LL SEE YOU. LET'S GO!
UH, HOLD IT, HOLD IT.
NO LOADING UP, YOU TWO,
ON EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE
A BIG LUNCH, OK?
OK, GOODBYE. SEE YOU LATER.
WELL, I GUESS WE BETTER
GET MOVING, TOO,
I WANT TO SEE AS MUCH OF THE PARK AS
POSSIBLE BEFORE THAT MEETING AT 1:00.
OUI, OUI, MONSIEUR.
OUI, OUI?
[Alice in French accent] THE EIFFEL TOWER,
IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A COQUETTE!
[both laughing]
[people screaming]
[people screaming]
[children screaming]
YOU KNOW? I JUS
REMEMBERED SOMETHING.
WHAT?
WELL, MOM TOLD US
NOT TO LOAD UP.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
SO WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
WELL, MOM ALSO SAID
NEVER TO WASTE FOOD, RIGHT?
RIGHT.
APPLES ARE FOOD.
SO WE BETTER NOT WASTE THEM.
ALL RIGHT.
I BROKE THE MOST.
YEAH, AND TO THE VICTOR
GOES THE SPOILS
AND THE SPOILS INCLUDE
PAYING THE MAN.
HEY, WAIT!
WHO WILL BE NEXT TO THROW
THE BALL AND WIN A PRIZE?
CARE TO TRY YOUR LUCK?
HI. HI.
UH, WHAT DO I DO?
YOU THROW THE BALLS THROUGH
THE HOLES AND WIN A PRIZE.
DO I GET MY CHOICE OF PRIZES?
THAT DEPENDS.
WELL, LET'S SEE
HOW IT WORKS OUT.
THIS LOOKS EASY, DAD, LET'S TRY.
UM, PETER, I THINK THIS
IS MORE GREG'S BALLGAME.
WHY? LET'S GET IN ON IT.
SORRY, I THINK YOU'VE
JUST BEEN BENCHED.
(Peter) W-WHAT? COME ON, DAD.
[Greg groans]
I FEEL KIND OF GUILTY.
WHY?
WELL, I KEEP REMEMBERING
WHAT MOM SAID ABOUT EATING.
WELL, ICE CREAM ISN'T EATING,
IT'S LICKING, RIGHT?
RIGHT. SO THA
DOESN'T COUNT, DOES IT?
OF COURSE NOT. WHEN YOU
EAT YOU HAVE TO SWALLOW.
THIS JUST SLIDES DOWN BY ITSELF.
[people screaming]
[scoreboard buzzing]
I'll TAKE SOME MORE BALLS.
YOU'LL WEAR YOURSELF OUT.
WELL, I'M GONNA KEEP THROWING
UNTIL YOU TELL ME YOUR NAME.
WELL, TO SAVE YOU A
DISLOCATED SHOULDER, IT'S MARGE.
I'M GREG BRADY.
I THINK I'VE THROWN
MORE FOOTBALLS
THAN JOE NAMATH
IN A WHOLE SEASON.
WHEN DO YOU GET THROUGH HERE?
RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
HEY, GREAT. HAVE LUNCH WITH ME.
OH, SORRY, CAN'T.
I'M FILLING IN FOR MY
BROTHER. HE'S AN ANIMAL.
AREN'T WE ALL?
I MEAN, HE WEARS ONE
OF THOSE ANIMAL COSTUMES
AND WALKS AROUND THE PARK
GREETING PEOPLE.
HEY, WAIT.
W-WHICH ANIMAL ARE YOU?
THAT'S FOR YOU TO FIND OUT.
MARGE.
MARGE!
[inaudible]
[laughing]
[all screaming]
EATING POPCORN
REALLY ISN'T EATING,
'CAUSE WE'RE JUS
AFTER THE PRIZES, RIGHT?
RIGHT. WE'LL JUST WORK OUR WAY
THROUGH THE BOX TILL WE GET TO THE PRIZES
'CAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS
ON THE BOTTOM.
LITTLE NANCY'LL LOVE THA
POSTER YOU BOUGHT FOR HER.
IT'S THE LEAST I COULD DO
AFTER MAKING ALL THAT MONEY
BABY-SITTING FOR HER FOLKS.
YEAH, I MEANT TO
HIT YOU FOR A LOAN.
YOGI BEAR IS CUTE, BUT MAYBE I
SHOULD'VE GOTTEN THAT GIRAFFE POSTER.
WELL, WE BETTER DO IT LATER.
RIGHT NOW, WE'VE GOT TO GO
MEET THE OTHERS FOR LUNCH.
HEY, LET'S GO BACK AFTER WE EAT.
OK.
HI, SORRY TO BE LATE.
I STOPPED BY THE ROOM TO PICK
UP THE PLANS BEFORE THE MEETING.
I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU I CAN'
STAY FOR LUNCH. I MET A GIRL.
GREG, YOU HAVE TO EAT.
OK?
WELL, MAN DOES NO
LIVE BY BREAD ALONE.
HI. HI. WHERE YOU GOING?
TO SEE AN ANIMAL ABOUT A GIRL.
HI. BOY, THAT ROLLER COASTER
SURE MADE ME HUNGRY.
HOW CAN YOU TELL?
I LEFT MY STOMACH
BACK ON THE ROLLER COASTER.
OOH! OOH.
(Bobby) HI.
HI. I GUESS YOU 2 KIDS
MUST BE STARVED, TOO, HUH?
UM, WELL, MOM, DO THEY
HAVE A CHILD'S PLATE?
YEAH, MAYBE BOBBY
AND I CAN SHARE ONE.
DIDN'T I WARN YOU TWO ABOU
EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT?
YEAH, BUT NEXT TIME YOU
OUGHT TO WARN US A LOT HARDER.
YEAH, MAYBE WE CAN
EAT LUNCH LATER.
(Marcia) SORRY WE'RE LATE.
IT WAS MY FAULT. I COULDN'T DECIDE
BETWEEN A BEAR AND A GIRAFFE.
WHAT'S EVERYONE
HAVING FOR LUNCH?
WELL, WE BETTER ORDER. I DON'
WANT TO BE LATE FOR MY MEETING.
PETER, WILL YOU KINDLY GE
YOUR FEET OFF OF MY POSTER?
YOU'RE GONNA RUIN IT.
TAKE BETTER CARE OF IT.
I WISH I HAD SOMEPLACE
TO PUT IT FOR SAFEKEEPING.
HEY, DAD, DO YOU NEED
BOTH OF THOSE?
HONEY, THE ENTIRE REASON FOR US
BEING HERE IS IN THESE CYLINDERS.
OH, WELL, COULD YOUR
SKETCHES FIT INTO ONE,
SO I CAN PUT MY POSTER
IN THE OTHER?
PLEASE, I HAVE TO TAKE I
ALL THE WAY HOME.
OH, I GUESS SO.
OH, THANK YOU.
(Jan) THANK YOU, DAD.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
UH, GENTLEMEN, AS I'VE INDICATED,
OUR FIRM HAS AN INTERESTING CONCEP
FOR THE NEW AREA OF YOUR PARK.
SO, FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION I
SOMETHING WRONG, MR. BRADY?
MAY I SEE THE SKETCHES?
[chuckling]
WELL, I APPRECIATE YOUR
LITTLE JOKE, MR. BRADY.
WELL, I'M AFRAID
IT'S AN UNPLANNED JOKE.
I'M SORRY, THERE'S BEEN A MIX-UP.
THIS IS MY DAUGHTER'S POSTER.
SHE MUST HAVE MY SKETCHES.
WELL, THERE'S NO PROBLEM. I'll FIND
MY DAUGHTER AND GET THEM BACK.
WELL, WE HAVE TO LEAVE IN
HALF AN HOUR TO CATCH A PLANE.
WELL, I HOPE I CAN
FIND HER BY THEN.
[conveyor belt clanking]
[screaming]
[Jan screaming]
I HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE
POSTER SHOP SO I CAN EXCHANGE
WAIT A MINUTE!
I LOST IT.
OH, NO.
YOU MUST HAVE LEFT I
ON SOME RIDE.
IT COULD BE ANYWHERE.
I'll HAVE TO GET ANOTHER ONE.
LUCKILY,
THEY'RE NOT TOO EXPENSIVE.
[people laughing]
[people screaming]
MARGE?
[deep male voice]
DO I SOUND LIKE A MARGE?
[laughing]
SORRY. HEY, DO YOU KNOW
WHICH ANIMAL MARGE IS?
HEY, Y-YOU WOULDN'
BE MARGE, WOULD YOU?
WOULD YOU KNOW WHERE MARGE IS?
SHE'S THE GIRL A
THE FOOTBALL BOOTH
WHO'S FILLING IN
FOR HER BROTHER.
OH, YEAH, SHE'S INSIDE
THE EMPLOYEES' AREA.
THANKS.
HEY, WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE!
YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE,
NOT UNLESS YOU'RE AN EMPLOYEE.
HEY, UH, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO
RENT ME YOUR COSTUME FOR A WHILE?
HELLO THERE.
H-HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
HEY, IT'S ME.
WHY DON'T YOU GO SOMEPLACE
AND HIBERNATE?
AREN'T YOU THE YOUNG GIRL
FROM THE FOOTBALL BOOTH?
YES.
(Mike) LOOK, IT IT'S URGEN
THAT I FIND MY FAMILY.
DO YOU REMEMBER MY SON, GREG?
VERY WELL.
HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?
NO. OH.
I'M RIGHT HERE, DAD.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?
UH, WELL
NEVER MIND. SHED YOUR SKIN
AND HELP ME FIND JAN, FAST.
[people screaming]
NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL
AN EXCITING RIDE.
OH. STOP THE PARK,
I WANT TO GET OFF.
HAS EITHER ONE OF YOU SEEN JAN?
NO, BUT I JUST SAW MY ENTIRE
LIFE PASS BEFORE MY EYES.
IS SOMETHING WRONG, MIKE?
EVERYTHING. WE GOT OUR CYLINDERS
MIXED UP. JAN HAS MY SKETCHES.
I THINK SHE WAS ON HER
WAY TO THE POSTER SHOP.
COME ON. WE GOTTA FIND HER.
STOMACH, YOU STAY HERE AND REST.
LEGS, LET'S GO.
[people screaming]
ANY LUCK?
SHE HASN'T BEEN HERE AGAIN.
I'VE GOT 10 MINUTES LEF
TO FIND THOSE SKETCHES.
THERE SHE IS!
JAN!
(Mike) JAN.
(Carol) OH, THANK
GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE.
WHAT'S ALL THE FUSS?
LISTEN, NO TIME TO EXPLAIN.
WHERE ARE MY SKETCHES?
I DON'T HAVE YOUR SKETCHES.
WE GOT THE CYLINDERS MIXED.
WHERE ARE YOURS?
DAD, I LOST IT.
YOU LOST IT?
AND WE'VE BEEN PRACTICALLY
ALL OVER THE PARK.
OH, HONEY.
NEVER MIND. WE'LL
SPLIT UP AND FIND IT.
GREG, ROUND UP
THE REST OF THE KIDS
AND WE'LL TURN
THE PARK UPSIDE DOWN.
AND WHOEVER FINDS IT FIRST,
RETURN IT TO THE MANAGER'S
OFFICE, PRONTO.
HI HI, FOLKS.
YOU FINDERS OR LOSERS?
NO, WE'RE LOSERS.
OH, YOU'D BE SURPRISED WHA
PEOPLE LOSE NOWADAYS. YEAH.
I'VE GOT ALL SORTS OF SHOES,
PURSES, FALSE TEETH, EYEGLASSES
WE WE LOST A CONTAINER.
CONTAINER? YEAH.
OH, GOT A LOT OF CONTAINERS.
BIG DAY FOR CONTAINERS.
GOT A CONTAINER OF COLE SLAW,
I GOT A CONTAINER WITH
A GOLDFISH IN IT
UH, NO, IT'S A CONTAINER
JUST LIKE THIS.
AH, YEAH. OH! ARE YOU IN LUCK!
I GOT ONE JUST LIKE THAT,
RIGHT HERE.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
NO NO, THIS CONTAINER
HAD SKETCHES IN IT.
OH, WELL, YOU BETTER CHECK
BACK LATER, FOLKS. I DON'T HAVE IT.
THANK YOU. OK. BYE.
IT'S NOT IN ANY OF THESE.
WE'LL HAVE TO CHECK ALL OF THEM.
HEY, WHY ARE WE GONNA
LOOK IN THERE?
JAN DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT EATING PIZZA.
WELL, SOMEBODY COULD'VE FOUND
DAD'S SKETCHES AND LEFT THEM IN THERE.
THAT'S RIGHT, TOO.
SO, AS LONG AS WE'RE HERE,
LET'S HAVE SOME PIZZA.
(Greg) MARGE?
HAVE YOU SEEN A CARDBOARD
CYLINDER WITH SOME SKETCHES IN IT?
YOU NEVER GIVE UP, DO YOU?
MAYBE WE CAN GE
TOGETHER LATER ON.
I GUESS IT'S TOO LATE, HONEY.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO TELL MR. REMINGTON
WE CAN'T FIND THE SKETCHES.
I'M SORRY, MIKE.
WELL, NOT HALF AS SORRY AS MY
BOSS IS GONNA BE, WHEN HE FINDS OUT.
WELL, I'll WAIT FOR YOU
BACK AT THE ENTRANCE.
OK.
I COULD'VE LEFT I
ON THAT LITTLE ISLAND.
(Jan) WE WERE ALL OVER IT.
WELL, LET'S GIVE IT A LOOK.
MARCIA, LOOK! I FOUND IT!
OH, MY GOSH! HURRY! LET'S GO!
LET'S GET IT TO THE
MANAGER'S OFFICE, QUICK!
[William Tell Overture playing]
LOOK. OH!
ALICE! ALICE! WE
FOUND DAD'S SKETCHES.
OH, GOOD FOR YOU.
WE'RE OUT OF BREATH. TAKE
'EM TO THE MANAGER'S OFFICE.
OK, KIDS, THE PONY
EXPRESS RIDES AGAIN.
[William Tell Overture continues playing]
NOPE, IT'S NOT IN THERE EITHER.
(Alice) BOBBY! CINDY!
LOOK, LEND A LEG! I'VE GOT TO
GET THIS TO THE MANAGER'S OFFICE
AND MY SADDLE BROKE
ABOUT A MILE BACK.
OK, WE MAY HAVE LITTLE LEGS,
BUT THEY GO AWFULLY FAST.
[William Tell Overture resumes playing]
WELL, IT'S NOT IN THE SKEE-BALL
PLACE OR THE BUMPER CARS.
I DON'T THINK THERE'S
ANYPLACE WE HAVEN'T LOOKED.
(Bobby) GREG! GREG!
(Cindy) GREG!
WE HAVE THE SKETCHES,
BUT WE CAN'T RUN ANYMORE!
COME ON, PETE!
MOM! MOM! MOM!
DAD'S SKETCHES.
OH, I HOPE IT'S NOT TOO LATE.
WELL, I'M SORRY, MR. BRADY,
BUT WE DO HAVE A PLANE TO CATCH.
WELL, I CAN PHONE MY OFFICE
AND HAVE COPIES OF THE
SKETCHES SENT IN NO TIME AT ALL.
WELL, I'M AFRAID, UH,
THAT WOULD BE TOO LATE.
SEE, WE HAVE TO MAKE THE
DECISION IN THE MORNING.
THANK YOU, ANYWAY. PLEASURE.
MIKE! MIKE! WE FOUND
THEM! WE FOUND THEM!
I THINK I JUST MADE THE DEADLINE
UNLESS MY WIFE'S BROUGH
ANOTHER BEAR POSTER.
HONEY, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEE
MR. REMINGTON, MR. DEMPSEY.
MY WIFE, CAROL. HELLO.
PLEASURE, MRS. BRADY. THANK YOU.
LET'S SEE. HA! NO BEAR POSTER.
WELL, THE BOARD WILL GIVE
THESE EVERY CONSIDERATION.
NICE MEETING YOU, MRS. BRADY.
OH, THANK YOU. NICE MEETING YOU.
THANK YOU. BYE-BYE.
(Greg) DID YOU MAKE
IT? DID YOU MAKE IT?
OH, YEAH. THE PLANS ARE
ON THE WAY TO NEW YORK.
[all cheering]
I'M A TOTAL WIPEOUT.
SO AM I. I COULD SLEEP ALL WEEK.
IT'S TOO BAD
YOU'RE ALL EXHAUSTED.
I WAS GONNA SUGGEST WE GO
FOR A RIDE ON THE ROLLER COASTER.
[all cheering]
[all talking at once]
IF I'M NOT THERE IN 3
DAYS, START WITHOUT ME.
[all exclaiming]
OH, NOW, KIDS.
NO, THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
OH, COME ON NOW.
[all screaming]
YOU KNOW, HONEY, I'M
REALLY GONNA HATE TO LEAVE.
THE KIDS HAVE HAD
SO MUCH FUN HERE.
YEAH, YOU CAN INCLUDE
THIS BIG KID, TOO.
[phone ringing]
HELLO?
OH, YES, OPERATOR, HE IS.
JUST A MINUTE, PLEASE.
HONEY, IT'S FOR YOU. IT'S
LONG DISTANCE, MR. PHILLIPS.
HELLO?
HELLO, MR. PHILLIPS.
THEY DID?
[laughing]
OH, GOOD, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
OH.
YES, THANKS VERY MUCH,
WE SURE WOULD.
[laughing] RIGHT.
GOODBYE.
MR. REMINGTON JUST PHONED
MR. PHILLIPS FROM NEW YORK.
UH-HUH? OUR SKETCHES
HAVE BEEN APPROVED
AND THEY'RE GONNA GO AHEAD
WITH IT. OH, CONGRATULATIONS, MIKE!
YEAH, AND THE BOSS HAS ASKED
US TO STAY A COUPLE OF EXTRA DAYS
AT COMPANY EXPENSE.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
OH, WELL, THE KIDS
WILL HATE THAT.
WE'LL REALLY HAVE TO FORCE THEM.
YEAH.
[knocking at door] COME IN.
GREG, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THE BEAR SUIT AGAIN?
(Peter) IT'S NOT GREG, IT'S ME.
PETER?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THAT?
WELL, THAT GIRL MARGE HAS TO
WORK FOR HER BROTHER AGAIN,
BUT GREG WANTS
TO TAKE HER OUT TO LUNCH,
SO I'M FILLING IN FOR HER, OK?
THAT'S VERY
UNDERSTANDING OF YOU.
I UNDERSTAND REAL GOOD FOR $5.