Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s05e12 Episode Script
The Powers That Be: Part 1
1
Waitress: Refill, hon?
Black: Thanks.
(Sighs)
Nice to have
a few minutes
before heading
into the office.
Waitress: So what do you do?
Black: Oh, uh
I'm in pest control.
Waitress: Ha.
Got a few in this place,
I can tell you that.
(Engine revving)
Black: Hey!
What the--uhh!
Waitress: What, no tip?
(Crash)
Uncle: Eyaah!
You break it,
you bought it!
(Gasps)
Uncle: Eyaah!
Uncle reserves right to
refuse service to you.
S-whoooooo!
Zwwww! Uhh!
I broke it
You still bought it! Oop!
(Tohru whistling)
(Gasps)
Jackie: No! Stop!
The persian carpet
should go to the left
of the abyssinian.
(Cell phone rings)
Oh, excuse me.
Hello?
Tohru: Jackie, something
has happened to uncle.
He has been taken away
in a huge vehicle.
Jackie, yelling:
I am sorry, tohru.
It is hard to hear you.
There is a very loud
truck outside.
Jackie: Bwaaaa!
Uh, deliveries
in the back, please.
Strikemaster ice:
Not a delivery, yo
It's a pick up
And you're the merchandise.
Ugh! That's all right.
We'll just kick it
old school.
Jackie: Uhh!
Please, no more
kicking it
Or punching it,
and especially
no burning it.
Whatever is troubling you,
why don't we
discuss it outside?
These carpets are
a thousand years old.
Strikemaster ice:
For reals? Tsk.
Now see, a museum this nice
ought to spring for
a new wall-to-wall shag.
Jackie: Aah!
Jackie: Aah! Kettle
Hot, hot, hot!
Strikemaster ice:
Aw, dawg,
you just need to put
a little ice on that
Strikemaster ice.
Jackie: Uhh!
(Jackie groans)
Ms. hardman: And this is
another perfect example
of prehistoric man.
Now let's move on
to a later specimen:
The brutish cro-magnon man.
Kids: Ugh! Yikes!
What the
Jade: Tohru??
What's going--uhh!
Tohru: Uh, may Jade
be excused?
Ms. hardman: Uh
Well, I--I suppose.
Has she been signed out
at the office?
Jade: Jackie and uncle?
Tohru: Yes.
I phoned section 13
and it seems captain black
is missing as well.
Jade: This is big, t.
Tohru:
What's most important
is that I keep you safe.
Jade: Safe, nothing.
Time to tcb.
Take care of business.
Hello?
Rescue Jackie, uncle,
and the captain.
Jade: Ok. Job one:
Search for clues.
Once we I.D.
The perps--
(phone rings)
Tohru: It is Jackie's
cell phone calling.
Jade: Jackie?
Drago: Unnhhh! Guess again.
But your uncle is
a guest of mine,
along with the old-timer
and captain "whack."
Jade: You touch one hair
on their heads--
well, not captain black,
'cause, you know,
he doesn't have any,
but you know
what I mean!
Drago: Uh, you're in
no position to be making
threats, junior,
but their safe return
is up to you.
Jade: So it's a ransom
you're after.
I'm listening.
Drago: Here's the deal.
You get all 3 of them back
when I get
- the containment unit.
You know, the one with
all the demon chi.
Jade: Yeah, well
I don't know what
you're talking about.
(Sniffs)
You had garlic for
breakfast, didn't you?
Drago: don't play dumb.
Deliver the chi or else.
Jade: It'll take
some time.
Drago: Time is something
you don't have, pipsqueak.
We make the switch
at 3 A.M. on
the golden gate bridge.
Be there or--
Jade: Be square?
Drago: No! Be there
or you'll be spending
the rest of your
wonder years
being raised by that
500-pound sumo.
Jade: Sheesh!
Evil and a jerk.
Tohru: Hmmph!
I weigh only 480.
Jade: Ok. We gotta go along
with what drago says.
Jackie and uncle
and black's lives
are at stake.
Tohru: But allowing drago
to take possession
of the demon powers
will put the entire
planet at risk.
Jade: Duh! That's why
we're gonna pull
a fast one.
Sure, we deliver
the containment unit,
but not before
- you come up with a spell.
Tohru: A spell?
Jade: Yep.
A spell to put the kibosh
on drago--
to short-circuit the powers
as soon as drago sucks 'em up.
Tohru: That's a wonderful ID--
wait. I am just
uncle's apprentice.
A spell that powerful is
Well, beyond my abilities.
Jade: What are you
talking about, big guy?
You've got mad skills!
You know what uncle told me?
He said, (Imitating uncle)
"Tohru may be most
naturally gifted wizard
uncle has ever met."
Tohru: Really?
Jade: Uh, well, maybe
not those exact words,
but with the same accent.
The point is,
he totally believes in you,
and so do I.
Jade: Where are you going?
Tohru: I have a spell
to conjure.
Jade: You go, t!
I know you can do it!
She said, hopefully.
Drago: Everyone comfy?
No? Good.
Black: Whatever it is
you want, drago,
(chains clatter)
You're not going to get it.
Drago: Oh, but I am!
In 8 chi-licious flavors.
Jackie:
The containment unit.
Drago: I first considered
an assault on section 13
but then realized
Why battle for it
when the containment unit
can be hand-delivered
in a nice, tidy bow.
Uncle: Huh! Too much time
in junkyard makes demon
speak rubbish!
Drago: Think again,
old-timer.
You know the old saying
A chan is only as strong
as its weakest link.
Tch. I hope it's not
a school night.
Jackie: Leave Jade
out of this.
Drago: Too late!
She's the main attraction.
And showtime's 3 A.M.!
But wait--there's more!
Once the demon chi is mine,
the real fun begins!
Jackie: A trip
to mooseworld is fun.
What you have in mind is
Probably not fun!
UhWhatever it is.
Drago: Oh, don't be such
a party pooper, chan.
See, this world of yours
is a real yawn,
and you know why?
No demons.
They're all stuck down under
while you humans run around
like you own the place!
Is that fair? No!
Well, guess what!
Planet's about to come
under new management!
And my first order
of business will be
to turn this world inside out!
Just imagine
A population of demons
running amok
with me, drago,
pulling the strings!
Hah hah hah hah hah hah
hah hah hah hah hah hah!
Hah hah hah hah hah hah
hah hah hah hah hah hah!
Yeah, pretty soon now
it's good-bye, humanity,
hello, demonville!
Daddy would be so proud.
Come on, gang,
gimme some props.
Uncle: Bah! Dopey demon
will not succeed.
Drago: Oh? And why's that,
grandpa?
Jackie: Because
we are going to
stop yo-ou-ou-ou!
Drago: Catch!
Jackie: Uncle!
Black: Jackie.
I think those chains
need a lube job.
Jackie: Ha! The oily bird
always catches the worm.
Drago: Yeah? Well, today's
oily bird special
is some free body work!
(Metal crashes)
Strikemaster ice:
Goin' somewhere?
Jackie, tiny voice:
Bad day.
Mc cobra: Ha ha.
- Hope you like your new digs!
Drago: I told you
to stay nearby.
They nearly escaped!
Strikemaster ice:
Yeah, dawg, we noticed.
Too much for ya, huh?
Drago: I wouldn't take
that tone with me
if I were you.
Oh!
Strikemaster ice:
You ain't the big cheese
no more, d.
Me and my posse
got mad powers!
You got zip.
Drago: Yes, well,
that's about to change.
And when it does,
I won't forget
our little chat.
Tohru: It is ready!
Jade: The spell?
Tohru: Uh, no. My tea.
It helps me to concentrate.
I am still working
on the spell.
Jade: No pressure, big guy,
but clock's ticking.
Ready?
Tohru: No. Soon.
Jade: We good to go?
Tohru: Not yet.
Jade: Ready?
Tohru: Yes!
Jade: Yes!
Tohru: AndNo.
Jade: Translation?
Tohru: I believe
the spell could work,
but we are missing
a key ingredient.
Jade: Name it! I'll make
a run to the 24/7 store.
Tohru: It requires
an essence of drago,
something physical
such as a piece of hair
or a fingernail.
Jade: You mean like
a DNA sample?
Tohru: Yes. I have failed.
Jade: Hold up. In school
we learned that relatives
share DNA.
So something from a member
of drago's family
could work, too!
Tohru: Perhaps.
But what good--
shendu!
Jade: Dear old dad,
in lockup in section 13,
right next door
to the containment unit.
Tohru: He is encased
in stone.
Jade: Yeah, well, then guess
we'll have to take a chip
off the old block.
Let's move!
(Shendu rasping)
Jade: Aah!
Jade: You're not
scaring me.
You're stuck in stone
and can't do a thing!
Shendu: Why so nervous?
As you say,
I am powerless
in my current form.
Yet see how the very
elements of your
earthly realm
shatter in my presence!
Jade: Yeah. Ok. Whatever.
Great special effectsNot!
Shendu: I know
why you are here.
Jade: No way.
Shendu: My ungrateful
traitor of a son, drago!
He is close
to gaining possession
of the demon powers.
Jade: But it's not
gonna happen, not on my watch!
Shendu: Foolish child!
There is but one
power on earth
that can defeat drago,
and it is I, his father.
Jade: We're on the same page,
rocky road.
Shendu: What do you think
you're--
Jade: Just a trim.
You'll never miss it.
Thanks. don't get up.
I'll let myself out.
Shendu, in fury: Aaahh!
Tohru: It is nearly 3:00.
Did you--
Jade: Piece of cake!
Come on!
We have a date with a demon
to get to!
(Tohru grunts)
Uncle: Eyaaah!
It is almost 3:00!
Do something, Jackie!
Jackie, grunting:
Oh!
I am trying, uncle!
(Grunts)
Ow!
Uncle: Trying not helping.
Doing would be helping.
Black: I'm sure Jade
wouldn't be so foolish
as to actually deliver
the containment unit
to drago.
Jackie: To protect us,
I fear Jade might do
anything.
Uncle: Only one opportunity
to stop drago
if he obtains
all demon powers.
Uncle needs to have
chi-o-matic,
make a few adjustments.
(Growls from ice and crew)
Black: Jackie,
what if we break huddle,
throw ourselves at the line,
and allow uncle
to make an end run?
Not a football fan. Got it.
Uncle: He means you should
create diversion!
Jackie: Oh! Yes.
Strikemaster ice:
Yo, these fools be
getting all silly!
Strikemaster ice: Dudes
tried to bust a move. As if.
Drago: Where's the geezer?
Strikemaster ice:
Oh. Ain't no thing.
Gotta be around here
somewhere.
Drago: Idiot! Just wrap them
up and get them in the truck.
Strikemaster ice:
- What's the magic word, dawg?
Jade: Ok, t, you hang
in the shadows.
Soon as drago shows,
you blast him with
that voodoo that you do.
Tohru: We must time it
precisely.
The spell may only
be activated
at the exact
moment drago begins
to absorb the chi.
Jade: Roger that.
The demon has landed.
Drago: Show me the chi!
Jade: Show me the chan clan!
Drago: I told you slackers
to stay in the truck.
Strikemaster ice:
Yeah, well us slackers
kinda changed our minds
about how it's gonna go down.
Drago: Oh?
Mc cobra: Figured
why let you get
all the powers?
Drago: You
Want some of them?
Strikemaster ice:
No, dawg. We want all of them!
Drago: I may not have fire,
but you're still toast!
Tohru: Oh, this was not
part of the plan!
Jade: No kidding.
(Crew making attack cries)
(Drago grunts)
Tohru: This is not good.
The spell!
Jade: I know.
It'll only work
if drago grabs the chi!
Never thought
I'd say this, but
Come on, drago,
you're the man!
If you can't do it,
no one can!
Jackie: The keys are still
in the ignition.
Jade: Drago won! Yes!
Go, demon,
he's a winner,
oh, yeah--
strikemaster ice:
Too bad. Dude
hates the water.
Jade: Hey, no Jackie,
no containment unit.
We had a deal.
Mc cobra: Yeah? Well,
my man dj fist's
got the deal-breaker.
Jade: Look out!
Tohru: No!
OhUh
Strikemaster ice:
8 powers, 3 of us
Let's see, we gotta
divide that by 8 by 3--
uh, carry the--
naw, see we--wait. Naw.
Mc cobra: 2 of us gets 3.
One of us gets 2.
Strikemaster ice:
Ok, here's the dilly-o.
Dj, you get earth and moon.
See, 'cause those are
the 2 best powers, yo.
I'm doin' you a solid here.
(Fist growls)
Jade and tohru: Bad day.
Jackie: Can't see!
Mc cobra: Hoo hoo!
Yeah! Feel the burn!
Strikemaster ice:
Look out, San Fran,
'cause we're gonna
turn this sucker out, yo!
Jackie: No, you are not!
Black: Jackie,
you can't take them on.
No arms, no legs.
Jackie: No problem.
It is simply
a matter of
Balance.
Mc cobra: Ooh!
Here comes the cavalry.
Lemme water their horses.
Tohru and Jade: Whoa!
(The crew laughs)
Strikemaster ice:
What are you gonna do,
bite us?
Mc cobra: Let's school
the fool. Check it out, yo!
Thunder and lightning!
Jackie: Is that
The best you can do?
Strikemaster ice: Naw.
We just gettin' started, yo.
Power of the wind, yo!
(Jackie mumbling)
I am still standing.
Ow.
Strikemaster ice:
Yo, let's finish this.
We got a whole world
out there to
cruise and bruise!
Yo. Somebody
call a cab?
Uncle: Yo mo guai guey
à fi Dee tsao
Mc cobra: Hey, the geezer's
got that chi-suckin' gizmo!
Jade: Uncle! Yes!
Tohru: Sensei must have
adjusted the chi-o-matic,
allowing it to absorb
all the demon-chi at once!
Uncle: Yo mo guai guey
à fi Dee tsao
Yo mo guai guey
à fi Dee tsao!
Eyaaah! Something rotten
in Denmark!
Drago: Ya gaa mee mo,
à ya gaa mee chi-wah.
Ya gaa mee mo,
à ya gaa mee chi-wah.
Jackie: Drago is drawing
the powers to himself!
How can he do that, uncle?
Uncle: Do not know.
Never heard that spell before.
Yes, keep change!
Jade: Whoa! Drago must have
been taking night classes.
Got a new spell.
New spell! Do yours--now!
Drago: Ya gaa mee mo,
à ya gaa mee chi-wah.
Tohru: Mee tahnaChi!
À chi-mee tahnaChi!
Oh!
Uncle: Eeaaah!
Drago: Finally,
all the demon powers--
mine!
Strikemaster ice: Uh, yo,
we helped,
d. don't forget that.
Drago: Take a last look
at this world of yours,
humans!
Because I'm about to turn it
topsy-turvy
and all kinds of curvy!
But first things first
Ya gaa mee mo,
à ya gaa mee chi-wah.
Ya gaa mee mo,
- à ya gaa mee chi-wah.
Ya gaa mee mo,
à ya gaa mee chi-wah.
Jade: Hey Jackie, what's the
most embarassing thing that's
ever happened to you?
Oh, I remember.
There was almost
20-some years ago.
I was doing a difficult shot.
I was doing the hacky-sack,
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.
So many takes.
And sweating.
After the shot, I want to
go in the cold water.
I take off my shirt.
I try to take off my pants,
but my pants stick
with my underwear.
Underwear is gone.
That's the most
embarrassing.
Waitress: Refill, hon?
Black: Thanks.
(Sighs)
Nice to have
a few minutes
before heading
into the office.
Waitress: So what do you do?
Black: Oh, uh
I'm in pest control.
Waitress: Ha.
Got a few in this place,
I can tell you that.
(Engine revving)
Black: Hey!
What the--uhh!
Waitress: What, no tip?
(Crash)
Uncle: Eyaah!
You break it,
you bought it!
(Gasps)
Uncle: Eyaah!
Uncle reserves right to
refuse service to you.
S-whoooooo!
Zwwww! Uhh!
I broke it
You still bought it! Oop!
(Tohru whistling)
(Gasps)
Jackie: No! Stop!
The persian carpet
should go to the left
of the abyssinian.
(Cell phone rings)
Oh, excuse me.
Hello?
Tohru: Jackie, something
has happened to uncle.
He has been taken away
in a huge vehicle.
Jackie, yelling:
I am sorry, tohru.
It is hard to hear you.
There is a very loud
truck outside.
Jackie: Bwaaaa!
Uh, deliveries
in the back, please.
Strikemaster ice:
Not a delivery, yo
It's a pick up
And you're the merchandise.
Ugh! That's all right.
We'll just kick it
old school.
Jackie: Uhh!
Please, no more
kicking it
Or punching it,
and especially
no burning it.
Whatever is troubling you,
why don't we
discuss it outside?
These carpets are
a thousand years old.
Strikemaster ice:
For reals? Tsk.
Now see, a museum this nice
ought to spring for
a new wall-to-wall shag.
Jackie: Aah!
Jackie: Aah! Kettle
Hot, hot, hot!
Strikemaster ice:
Aw, dawg,
you just need to put
a little ice on that
Strikemaster ice.
Jackie: Uhh!
(Jackie groans)
Ms. hardman: And this is
another perfect example
of prehistoric man.
Now let's move on
to a later specimen:
The brutish cro-magnon man.
Kids: Ugh! Yikes!
What the
Jade: Tohru??
What's going--uhh!
Tohru: Uh, may Jade
be excused?
Ms. hardman: Uh
Well, I--I suppose.
Has she been signed out
at the office?
Jade: Jackie and uncle?
Tohru: Yes.
I phoned section 13
and it seems captain black
is missing as well.
Jade: This is big, t.
Tohru:
What's most important
is that I keep you safe.
Jade: Safe, nothing.
Time to tcb.
Take care of business.
Hello?
Rescue Jackie, uncle,
and the captain.
Jade: Ok. Job one:
Search for clues.
Once we I.D.
The perps--
(phone rings)
Tohru: It is Jackie's
cell phone calling.
Jade: Jackie?
Drago: Unnhhh! Guess again.
But your uncle is
a guest of mine,
along with the old-timer
and captain "whack."
Jade: You touch one hair
on their heads--
well, not captain black,
'cause, you know,
he doesn't have any,
but you know
what I mean!
Drago: Uh, you're in
no position to be making
threats, junior,
but their safe return
is up to you.
Jade: So it's a ransom
you're after.
I'm listening.
Drago: Here's the deal.
You get all 3 of them back
when I get
- the containment unit.
You know, the one with
all the demon chi.
Jade: Yeah, well
I don't know what
you're talking about.
(Sniffs)
You had garlic for
breakfast, didn't you?
Drago: don't play dumb.
Deliver the chi or else.
Jade: It'll take
some time.
Drago: Time is something
you don't have, pipsqueak.
We make the switch
at 3 A.M. on
the golden gate bridge.
Be there or--
Jade: Be square?
Drago: No! Be there
or you'll be spending
the rest of your
wonder years
being raised by that
500-pound sumo.
Jade: Sheesh!
Evil and a jerk.
Tohru: Hmmph!
I weigh only 480.
Jade: Ok. We gotta go along
with what drago says.
Jackie and uncle
and black's lives
are at stake.
Tohru: But allowing drago
to take possession
of the demon powers
will put the entire
planet at risk.
Jade: Duh! That's why
we're gonna pull
a fast one.
Sure, we deliver
the containment unit,
but not before
- you come up with a spell.
Tohru: A spell?
Jade: Yep.
A spell to put the kibosh
on drago--
to short-circuit the powers
as soon as drago sucks 'em up.
Tohru: That's a wonderful ID--
wait. I am just
uncle's apprentice.
A spell that powerful is
Well, beyond my abilities.
Jade: What are you
talking about, big guy?
You've got mad skills!
You know what uncle told me?
He said, (Imitating uncle)
"Tohru may be most
naturally gifted wizard
uncle has ever met."
Tohru: Really?
Jade: Uh, well, maybe
not those exact words,
but with the same accent.
The point is,
he totally believes in you,
and so do I.
Jade: Where are you going?
Tohru: I have a spell
to conjure.
Jade: You go, t!
I know you can do it!
She said, hopefully.
Drago: Everyone comfy?
No? Good.
Black: Whatever it is
you want, drago,
(chains clatter)
You're not going to get it.
Drago: Oh, but I am!
In 8 chi-licious flavors.
Jackie:
The containment unit.
Drago: I first considered
an assault on section 13
but then realized
Why battle for it
when the containment unit
can be hand-delivered
in a nice, tidy bow.
Uncle: Huh! Too much time
in junkyard makes demon
speak rubbish!
Drago: Think again,
old-timer.
You know the old saying
A chan is only as strong
as its weakest link.
Tch. I hope it's not
a school night.
Jackie: Leave Jade
out of this.
Drago: Too late!
She's the main attraction.
And showtime's 3 A.M.!
But wait--there's more!
Once the demon chi is mine,
the real fun begins!
Jackie: A trip
to mooseworld is fun.
What you have in mind is
Probably not fun!
UhWhatever it is.
Drago: Oh, don't be such
a party pooper, chan.
See, this world of yours
is a real yawn,
and you know why?
No demons.
They're all stuck down under
while you humans run around
like you own the place!
Is that fair? No!
Well, guess what!
Planet's about to come
under new management!
And my first order
of business will be
to turn this world inside out!
Just imagine
A population of demons
running amok
with me, drago,
pulling the strings!
Hah hah hah hah hah hah
hah hah hah hah hah hah!
Hah hah hah hah hah hah
hah hah hah hah hah hah!
Yeah, pretty soon now
it's good-bye, humanity,
hello, demonville!
Daddy would be so proud.
Come on, gang,
gimme some props.
Uncle: Bah! Dopey demon
will not succeed.
Drago: Oh? And why's that,
grandpa?
Jackie: Because
we are going to
stop yo-ou-ou-ou!
Drago: Catch!
Jackie: Uncle!
Black: Jackie.
I think those chains
need a lube job.
Jackie: Ha! The oily bird
always catches the worm.
Drago: Yeah? Well, today's
oily bird special
is some free body work!
(Metal crashes)
Strikemaster ice:
Goin' somewhere?
Jackie, tiny voice:
Bad day.
Mc cobra: Ha ha.
- Hope you like your new digs!
Drago: I told you
to stay nearby.
They nearly escaped!
Strikemaster ice:
Yeah, dawg, we noticed.
Too much for ya, huh?
Drago: I wouldn't take
that tone with me
if I were you.
Oh!
Strikemaster ice:
You ain't the big cheese
no more, d.
Me and my posse
got mad powers!
You got zip.
Drago: Yes, well,
that's about to change.
And when it does,
I won't forget
our little chat.
Tohru: It is ready!
Jade: The spell?
Tohru: Uh, no. My tea.
It helps me to concentrate.
I am still working
on the spell.
Jade: No pressure, big guy,
but clock's ticking.
Ready?
Tohru: No. Soon.
Jade: We good to go?
Tohru: Not yet.
Jade: Ready?
Tohru: Yes!
Jade: Yes!
Tohru: AndNo.
Jade: Translation?
Tohru: I believe
the spell could work,
but we are missing
a key ingredient.
Jade: Name it! I'll make
a run to the 24/7 store.
Tohru: It requires
an essence of drago,
something physical
such as a piece of hair
or a fingernail.
Jade: You mean like
a DNA sample?
Tohru: Yes. I have failed.
Jade: Hold up. In school
we learned that relatives
share DNA.
So something from a member
of drago's family
could work, too!
Tohru: Perhaps.
But what good--
shendu!
Jade: Dear old dad,
in lockup in section 13,
right next door
to the containment unit.
Tohru: He is encased
in stone.
Jade: Yeah, well, then guess
we'll have to take a chip
off the old block.
Let's move!
(Shendu rasping)
Jade: Aah!
Jade: You're not
scaring me.
You're stuck in stone
and can't do a thing!
Shendu: Why so nervous?
As you say,
I am powerless
in my current form.
Yet see how the very
elements of your
earthly realm
shatter in my presence!
Jade: Yeah. Ok. Whatever.
Great special effectsNot!
Shendu: I know
why you are here.
Jade: No way.
Shendu: My ungrateful
traitor of a son, drago!
He is close
to gaining possession
of the demon powers.
Jade: But it's not
gonna happen, not on my watch!
Shendu: Foolish child!
There is but one
power on earth
that can defeat drago,
and it is I, his father.
Jade: We're on the same page,
rocky road.
Shendu: What do you think
you're--
Jade: Just a trim.
You'll never miss it.
Thanks. don't get up.
I'll let myself out.
Shendu, in fury: Aaahh!
Tohru: It is nearly 3:00.
Did you--
Jade: Piece of cake!
Come on!
We have a date with a demon
to get to!
(Tohru grunts)
Uncle: Eyaaah!
It is almost 3:00!
Do something, Jackie!
Jackie, grunting:
Oh!
I am trying, uncle!
(Grunts)
Ow!
Uncle: Trying not helping.
Doing would be helping.
Black: I'm sure Jade
wouldn't be so foolish
as to actually deliver
the containment unit
to drago.
Jackie: To protect us,
I fear Jade might do
anything.
Uncle: Only one opportunity
to stop drago
if he obtains
all demon powers.
Uncle needs to have
chi-o-matic,
make a few adjustments.
(Growls from ice and crew)
Black: Jackie,
what if we break huddle,
throw ourselves at the line,
and allow uncle
to make an end run?
Not a football fan. Got it.
Uncle: He means you should
create diversion!
Jackie: Oh! Yes.
Strikemaster ice:
Yo, these fools be
getting all silly!
Strikemaster ice: Dudes
tried to bust a move. As if.
Drago: Where's the geezer?
Strikemaster ice:
Oh. Ain't no thing.
Gotta be around here
somewhere.
Drago: Idiot! Just wrap them
up and get them in the truck.
Strikemaster ice:
- What's the magic word, dawg?
Jade: Ok, t, you hang
in the shadows.
Soon as drago shows,
you blast him with
that voodoo that you do.
Tohru: We must time it
precisely.
The spell may only
be activated
at the exact
moment drago begins
to absorb the chi.
Jade: Roger that.
The demon has landed.
Drago: Show me the chi!
Jade: Show me the chan clan!
Drago: I told you slackers
to stay in the truck.
Strikemaster ice:
Yeah, well us slackers
kinda changed our minds
about how it's gonna go down.
Drago: Oh?
Mc cobra: Figured
why let you get
all the powers?
Drago: You
Want some of them?
Strikemaster ice:
No, dawg. We want all of them!
Drago: I may not have fire,
but you're still toast!
Tohru: Oh, this was not
part of the plan!
Jade: No kidding.
(Crew making attack cries)
(Drago grunts)
Tohru: This is not good.
The spell!
Jade: I know.
It'll only work
if drago grabs the chi!
Never thought
I'd say this, but
Come on, drago,
you're the man!
If you can't do it,
no one can!
Jackie: The keys are still
in the ignition.
Jade: Drago won! Yes!
Go, demon,
he's a winner,
oh, yeah--
strikemaster ice:
Too bad. Dude
hates the water.
Jade: Hey, no Jackie,
no containment unit.
We had a deal.
Mc cobra: Yeah? Well,
my man dj fist's
got the deal-breaker.
Jade: Look out!
Tohru: No!
OhUh
Strikemaster ice:
8 powers, 3 of us
Let's see, we gotta
divide that by 8 by 3--
uh, carry the--
naw, see we--wait. Naw.
Mc cobra: 2 of us gets 3.
One of us gets 2.
Strikemaster ice:
Ok, here's the dilly-o.
Dj, you get earth and moon.
See, 'cause those are
the 2 best powers, yo.
I'm doin' you a solid here.
(Fist growls)
Jade and tohru: Bad day.
Jackie: Can't see!
Mc cobra: Hoo hoo!
Yeah! Feel the burn!
Strikemaster ice:
Look out, San Fran,
'cause we're gonna
turn this sucker out, yo!
Jackie: No, you are not!
Black: Jackie,
you can't take them on.
No arms, no legs.
Jackie: No problem.
It is simply
a matter of
Balance.
Mc cobra: Ooh!
Here comes the cavalry.
Lemme water their horses.
Tohru and Jade: Whoa!
(The crew laughs)
Strikemaster ice:
What are you gonna do,
bite us?
Mc cobra: Let's school
the fool. Check it out, yo!
Thunder and lightning!
Jackie: Is that
The best you can do?
Strikemaster ice: Naw.
We just gettin' started, yo.
Power of the wind, yo!
(Jackie mumbling)
I am still standing.
Ow.
Strikemaster ice:
Yo, let's finish this.
We got a whole world
out there to
cruise and bruise!
Yo. Somebody
call a cab?
Uncle: Yo mo guai guey
à fi Dee tsao
Mc cobra: Hey, the geezer's
got that chi-suckin' gizmo!
Jade: Uncle! Yes!
Tohru: Sensei must have
adjusted the chi-o-matic,
allowing it to absorb
all the demon-chi at once!
Uncle: Yo mo guai guey
à fi Dee tsao
Yo mo guai guey
à fi Dee tsao!
Eyaaah! Something rotten
in Denmark!
Drago: Ya gaa mee mo,
à ya gaa mee chi-wah.
Ya gaa mee mo,
à ya gaa mee chi-wah.
Jackie: Drago is drawing
the powers to himself!
How can he do that, uncle?
Uncle: Do not know.
Never heard that spell before.
Yes, keep change!
Jade: Whoa! Drago must have
been taking night classes.
Got a new spell.
New spell! Do yours--now!
Drago: Ya gaa mee mo,
à ya gaa mee chi-wah.
Tohru: Mee tahnaChi!
À chi-mee tahnaChi!
Oh!
Uncle: Eeaaah!
Drago: Finally,
all the demon powers--
mine!
Strikemaster ice: Uh, yo,
we helped,
d. don't forget that.
Drago: Take a last look
at this world of yours,
humans!
Because I'm about to turn it
topsy-turvy
and all kinds of curvy!
But first things first
Ya gaa mee mo,
à ya gaa mee chi-wah.
Ya gaa mee mo,
- à ya gaa mee chi-wah.
Ya gaa mee mo,
à ya gaa mee chi-wah.
Jade: Hey Jackie, what's the
most embarassing thing that's
ever happened to you?
Oh, I remember.
There was almost
20-some years ago.
I was doing a difficult shot.
I was doing the hacky-sack,
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.
So many takes.
And sweating.
After the shot, I want to
go in the cold water.
I take off my shirt.
I try to take off my pants,
but my pants stick
with my underwear.
Underwear is gone.
That's the most
embarrassing.