Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s05e13 Episode Script

1
Announcer: Previously on
Jackie chan adventures
Drago: Your uncle
is a guest of mine,
you get all 3 of 'em back
when I get
- the containment unit.
Show me the chi!
Jade: Show me the chan clan!
Drago: I told you slackers
to stay in the truck.
Strikemaster ice:
Yeah, well us slackers
kinda changed our minds
about how it's gonna go down.
Jackie: Drago is drawing
the powers to himself!
Drago: And my first order
of business will be
to turn this world inside out!
(Jade and tohru grunt)
(Drago laughs)
Tohru: Oh
(Falling cries from uncle,
tohru, Jade, and Jackie)
(Falling cries from uncle,
tohru, Jade and Jackie)
(Grunting)
Tohru: Puh! I hate fish.
Drago: Prepare yourselves,
my demon brethren.
Your liberation awaits.
Mc cobra: So, uh,
what do we do?
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
if d-boy be turnin'
the earth inside-out,
I'm stickin' with the man
like wax on a board.
You feel me?
Black: Ok, people, listen up!
At 0300 hours, drago absorbed
all 8 demon chi powers.
I'll need all available
equipment and personnel
ready to deploy by Dawn.
This isn't going to be easy,
but I know you're
up to the task.
The fate of the entire planet
rests in our hands.
Now, let's move!
(Agents talking excitedly)
Uncle: All these years,
black has learned nothing.
Magic must defeat magic.
Black: Drago was last seen
heading east.
Jade: Agent Jade reporting
for duty, sir!
Let's head 'em up
and move 'em out.
Black: Jade, I think you've
done enough for one night.
Jade: I didn't mean for drago
to keep the demon chi.
I had a plan to--
Jackie: We know you were
trying to protect us, Jade,
and we appreciate it.
Black: But from here on out,
little lady,
you need to leave the fight
to the heavyweights.
Uncle: Drago has absorbed
all 8 demon powers.
Do you know of a spell
to remove them?
Shendu: And why
should I help you?
Uncle: Revenge?
Shendu: My son may have
betrayed me, wizard,
but I will watch proudly
as he destroys your world.
Once all 8 powers
have combined,
nothing can remove them
Ever.
Uncle: Then conversation
is over.
Shendu: Wait!
Release me.
I will deal with drago
and see that you are spared.
Uncle: Ohh, that
uncle cannot do.
Shendu: Then your earth
is doomed.
Black: No, Mr. mayor,
this is not a drill.
We need to evacuate
the entire city immediately.
UhMeteors--that's right--
heading this way.
Oh! Big ones,
size of, um
Big meteors.
Gotta go.
Tohru: Hmm. Is there also
a plan to evacuate
the rest of the planet?
Jade: I know I messed up,
but let me make it up to you,
please, Jackie?
You can't split up
the chan clan
at a time like this.
Jackie: No, Jade.
Section 13 is the safest place
in the city,
and you are staying
right here.
Jade: Awww!
Jackie: Tohru, I need you
to take care of Jade.
Tohru: I understand.
Strikemaster ice: Uh,
it was a misunderstanding, yo?
Drago: I don't
suffer traitors well.
Strikemaster ice, dj fist
& mc cobra: Yizow! Wah! Yeeah!
Strikemaster ice:
Yo, that is nasty.
(Uncle mumbles)
(Knock on door)
Uncle: Shop is closed!
(Knocking continues)
Go away!
Uncle is busy!
(Knocking)
Do you want drago
- to turn world inside-out?
No? Then let uncle work!
One more thing
Aiyaaa!
Chow: Whoa, take it easy,
old timer.
Hak foo: We are not here
to harm you.
Finn: Yeah. We just heard
about this whole
drago-turning-the-
world-inside-out thing.
Ratso: I think there
was meteors comin'.
Chow: Hey, the world
can't end now.
We just got out
of the slammer.
It ain't fair.
Finn: So whaddya say, unc?
We're freelance.
We're reasonably priced.
Ratso: And we promise
not to steal nothin'.
Uncle: Do not just
stand there. Get cracking!
Strikemaster ice:
Yo! It's 5-0.
Black: All right, you punks.
Where's drago?
Drago: Bwa ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Black: You have got to
be kidding me.
Jackie: Bad day.
Jade: We can't
just sit here, tohru.
Jackie needs our help.
Tohru: Your safety
- is Jackie's primary concern.
Jade: Come on, big t.
We're missing all the action.
Grrr.
Drago: I was hoping
you'd put up a fight.
Black: It's go time.
Strikemaster ice: Yo, we can't
let drago have all the fun.
Sorry 'bout your ride,
cueball.
Black: Oof!
Ah--uhh.
Mc cobra: Boo-yah!
Jackie: You don't talk much,
do you?
Oof!
Drago: Mmm! Tasty.
(Burp)
(Agents yell)
(Strength efforts
from strikemaster ice,
dj fist, & mc cobra)
Black: Fall back!
All agents fall back!
Drago: Bwa ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha!
It's pointless to run!
There's nowhere on earth
to hide from your new masters.
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
we spank those fools.
(Drago growls)
Drago: I should
prepare a proper welcome
for my demon brethren.
A city in ruins will
- make them feel right at home.
Strikemaster ice: Cool!
Let's get this party started.
Drago: No. I have
a special task for you.
I have given you each
another taste of demon chi:
Earth
ThunderWind.
Strikemaster ice: Whoa.
What's the dilly-yo?
Drago: I want you to
eliminate section 13
and everyone in it
once and for all.
Drago: Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!
(Panicked screams
from passengers)
Jackie: Captain black,
on the bridge!
Black: I see it. Go! Go!
Clip your end
to the bridge!
(Frightened shouts
from passengers)
Jade: Talismans, yes!
Drago's got chi power,
but we have t-power.
Tohru, we have to
get them to Jackie.
Tohru: Jade--
Jade & tohru: Whoa-oh
Strikemaster ice: Yo yo yo!
The ice crew
is in the hiz-zouse.
Jade: Bring it on,
crater face.
Hyah!
Tohru: Stay back, Jade.
Jade: Grrrr.
(Attack cry from tohru)
(Groan)
Strikemaster ice: Ooh
That's gonna leave a mark.
Jade: The gecko gang
got a booster shot.
Time to give 'em a taste
of their own medicine
Talisman style.
Tohru: Jade, no!
Whoa!
Strikemaster ice: Aw,
you're worried about
the shorty.
That's sweet, yo,
but you best be worried
about yourself, big man.
Uncle: Scale of codfish!
Finn: Comin' right up. Whoa!
Uncle: Nail of groundhog.
Chow: Yeah, I got it!
Whoa!
Powdered butterfly wing!
Ratso: Monarch or swallowtail?
Black, straining: Can't
Hang on much longer.
(Passengers fret)
(Rope whiplashes)
El toro: I thought you could
use a hand, mi amigos.
Jackie: El toro!
Viper: Heard you were
having a shindig, Jackie.
Jackie: Viper--eh, viper.
Paco: And do not forget
El paco fuerte.
Where is Jade?
(Tug-of-war efforts from all)
(Driver sighs)
Woman: Thank you.
Valmont?
El toro: Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
El toro fuerte
never removes his mask.
Black: Apparently drago's
lookin' to play a little ball.
Jackie: Well, he's going to
have to beat the home team.
(Massive strength effort
from tohru)
Jade! Jade!
Jade, what are you doing?
Jade: Nabbing the talisman so
we can kick that
ice twerp's butt.
Tohru: We must leaveNow!
Strikemaster ice:
You ain't goin' nowhere.
Tohru: Whoa! Uhh!
Jade: Tohru!
Strikemaster ice: Peace out!
Tohru: Jade, leave here!
Jade: Rat? No. Tiger? No.
Come on, ox, where are you?
Tohru: Uhh! Do as I say, Jade!
Leave here! Now!
Jade: Hang on, t!
Monkey? Rabbit?
No! Tohru!
Tohru
Uncle: Aiyaaa!
Spell will not work.
Chow: SoThe earth
is doomed?
Ratso: But I like it here.
My mom lives close.
Uncle: We must
get reinforcements.
(Drago chewing)
Viper: Ew. Chew
with your mouth closed.
Drago: Chan!
You're just in time to watch
me rip your planet wide open!
Paco: You'll have to get
past the j-team first. Yulk!
El toro: Stay
in the dugout, paco.
Paco: But I am ready, El toro.
I brought my own mask.
Strikemaster ice:
Yo, time to play ball!
Uncle: Aiyaaa!
Section 13 is rubble.
Finn: Eh, bummer.
Chow: Eh, I never
liked the place.
Ratso: They had
good doughnuts.
Uncle: Stop!
You want to earn paycheck,
yes?
Then start digging.
Finn: Sure thing, boss.
Chow: We're on it.
Ratso: I love manual labor.
Hak foo: Hungry gopher
digs hole.
Paco: The palenque
pile driver!
Mc cobra: Yo, mama,
can't touch this.
(Cobra sucks in deep breath)
(Blows)
Black & viper: Aaah!
Drago: Ya gaa mee mo,
à ya gaa mee chi-wah.
Ya gaa mee mo,
ààya gaa mee chi-wah
bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Jackie: I'll take the demon
on the left.
Jade: Time for
the seventh-inning butt whoop.
The amazing t-troop
is in the house.
Jackie: Jade, explain.
Jade: don't worry, Jackie.
I have the dog talisman--
immortality.
And I brought enough
for everybody:
Invisible snake for viper,
superstrong ox for El toro,
combustible dragon
for captain black,
and speedy rabbit
for uncle Jackie.
Supermoose:
da-da-da-da-da-daaa!
antler action!
Paco: Hey, what about me?
(Attack cries from all)
(Big lift effort from Finn,
chow, ratso, & hak foo)
All: Whoa!
Uncle: Tohru!
Tohru: Oh Sensei.
Uncle: Uncle is very pleased
you are not pancake.
Where is Jade?
Tohru: She had the talismans.
I told her to run.
Finn: Hey, buddy.
Chow: Long time no see.
Ratso: Have you lost weight?
Uncle: Uncle did not
tell you to visit.
Keep digging.
Finn: If big t's
not our reinforcements
Chow: Then who is?
Black: And this
is for toasting my Van!
(Viper stomps foot, grunts)
Viper: 3 strikes
You're out.
Supermoose:
pop goes the demon
hyuk yuk yuk yuk yuk!
Jade: hey,
- batter, batter, batter
sa-wing batter batter
paco: Jade, may I
have a talisman, too?
Jade: Well, I was saving
this one for myself,
butKnock yourself out.
Paco: Yes!
Astro paco: Hang on, El toro!
I am coming!
Jade: Kids.
Astro paco: Finish him off
with the Tijuana twister
or the cabo cannonball.
Astro paco: Jade!
Drago: If that's the best
you can do, chan.
Drago: The future belongs
to me!
Shendu: I think not, boy.
First, you must pay
for your treachery!
Drago: Dad?
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
that thing's drago's pop?
Tohru: Demon must
defeat demon.
Jade: Tohru!
You're ok.
Hak foo: Charging rhino
flatens giraffe!
Stubborn mule kick!
Komodo dragon paralyzes goat!
Finn: Maybe we'll
sit this one out.
Chow: It looks like chan's
got it covered.
Ratso: You think we could
go get a Hot Dog?
Drago: You're weak, old man!
Conquest is a job
for a fiery young dragon.
Shendu: You are
an impudent child.
Jade: Shendu's
- getting his butt whooped.
The talismans!
Jackie: Uhh!
Uncle, you released shendu?
How? Why?
Uncle: Uncle still have
tricks up his sleeve.
Jade: Throw your talismans
to shendu!
Repeat: Throw your talismans
to shendu!
Supermoose: Mo-o-o-ose
muscle!
Shendu: I am complete!
Tohru: Sensei,
if we cannot remove
the demon chi from drago,
perhaps we can remove drago
from the earth.
Uncle: A reversal spell.
Big reversal spell.
Take this.
Uncle has been saving it.
Uncle & tohru :
yu-mo-gue-guai-
à fie-Dee-tsao
yu-mo-gue-guai-
à fie-Dee-tsao
yu-mo-gue-guai-
à fie-Dee-tsao
strikemaster ice:
This is whack, yo.
Drago: Father! Help me!
Shendu: You deserve such
a fate for your disloyalty.
Drago: I'm sorry, father!
Please!
Jade: Jackie, wait!
Sometimes the greatest victory
is the battle not fought.
Shendu: This is my domain.
Remember your place!
Drago: Yes, father.
Psyche!
Shendu: No-o-o-o-o!
Uhh!
Uncle & tohru:
yu-mo-gue-guai-
à fie-Dee-tsao
yu-mo-gue-guai-
à fie-Dee-tsao
yu-mo-gue-guai-
à fie-Dee-tsao
Jade: Yes!
Ratso: Aw, we missed the end.
Paco: Going somewhere?
Viper: Nice job.
We should team up
more often.
Uncle: Keep it.
Graduation present.
You are full chi wizard.
Jade: Go, tohru,
you're a wizard. Oh, yeah!
Black: That was some
good strategic thinking
back there, young lady.
We could use someone like you
at section 13.
Jade: You want me
to be a real secret agent?
Can I, Jackie? Please?!
Jackie: Well
We'll talk later.
Jade: Hey, that means no.
Come on, Jackie.
Our country needs me.
The world needs me.
Hak foo: Bear hug!
Drago: Ohh! The earth
was within my grasp!
You never let me
have what I want!
Shendu: I told you not to
play with your father's world!
Drago: Why not?
You aren't using it!
You're always too busy
fighting wizards!
Jade: Hey Jackie, have you
ever worked with a crocodile?
Jackie: Never.
That I've never done
in my life.
I touch rhino, lion
Elephant
Yeah. Not crocodile.