Slow Horses (2022) s06e05 Episode Script

1
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[ENGINE REVVING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[PANTING] Fuck. Fuck.
Stop! Stop! Stop!
Stop! Stop! Stop!
MI5. I need the car.
- No, sorry, I can't. Sorry.
- You'll get it back.
Just open the door. Come on.
Get out. Come on.
- Well, how long do you need it for?
- Just get out of the car. Come on.
Well, it's not very convenient.
I need it. I need the car.
Excuse me! When will I get
Oh, my Oh, my God! Monty!
[ASSASSIN 1] So, how should we do this?
Yeah, we could get festive.
Hang you from a tree
Maybe set you alight?
[ASSASSIN 2] Aw, such a pretty death.
[ASSASSIN 1] Or
we could just
finish her here in the car.
Which would be messier
but we could do that if you'd prefer.
Take the next left.
[SIGHS]
[INDICATOR TICKING]
[ASSASSIN 1] There's a lake up ahead.
An area of outstanding natural beauty.
[CHUCKLING]
[ASSASSIN 2] It's one of
those phrases they use.
[ASSASSIN 1 CHUCKLING]
I didn't bring my swimsuit.
[CHUCKLING] You British are so prudish.
- Skinny-dipping.
- [ASSASSIN 2 CHUCKLES]
- [ASSASSIN 1] Why not?
- [GRUNTS]
[SHRIEKS]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[MUFFLED GRUNTING]
[MUFFLED GRUNTING CONTINUES]
[GRUNTING]
[GRUNTS, PANTING]
[GRUNTING]
[GLASS CRACKING]
[GRUNTING CONTINUES]
[PANTING]
- [GRUNTING]
- [ASSASSIN 1 GRUNTING]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
- [GRUNTS]
- [ASSASSIN 1 SCREAMS]
[BOTH PANTING, GRUNTING]
[PANTING, GRUNTING]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[SIGHS]
[GRUNTING, PANTING]
[GRUNTS]
[PANTING]
[PANTING]
[GRUNTING]
[PANTING]
[JACKSON] What the fuck
is it with you lot?
[RIVER] Lamb, just
just listen, right?
- [JACKSON] How many times
- [RIVER] The assassins are Russian.
It's-It's-It's revenge
for some hit in Kazan.
They've [SIGHS] They've
taken Sid Baker and she
[JACKSON] Sid Baker?
[STAMMERS] She died the last time
she was with you, didn't she?
Yeah, they [SIGHS]
They think she did the hit.
[JACKSON] Why?
Cartwright?
[PANTING]
[TWIG CRACKS]
[PANTING STOPS]
[EXCLAIMS, GRUNTING]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[GRUNTING CONTINUES]
[SID GROANS]
- [ASSASSIN 1 GRUNTING]
- [SID PANTING]
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
[SPLASHING STOPS]
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
- [GRUNTING]
- [SID PANTING, COUGHING]
[ASSASSIN 1 GRUNTING]
[SID GROANING, PANTING]
[RIVER GRUNTING]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[RIVER GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS, GROANS]
[GRUNTING]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[SID GRUNTS]
[RIVER, SID GROANING]
[SID STRAINING]
[STRAINING CONTINUES]
[RIVER, SID GRUNTING]
[GRUNTING CONTINUES]
- [BOTH PANTING]
- [WATER BUBBLING]
["STRANGE GAME" PLAYING]
Surrounded by losers ♪
Misfits and boozers ♪
Hanging by your
fingernails ♪
You made one mistake ♪
You got burned at the stake ♪
You're finished, you're foolish ♪
You failed ♪
There's always a hope ♪
On this slippery slope ♪
Somewhere a
ghost of a chance ♪
To get back in that game ♪
And burn off your shame ♪
And dance with
the big boys again ♪
Ma'am, he refused to listen when
we told him you weren't available.
Oh, for God's sake.
I'm busy.
- Oh.
- What do you want?
[BEEPS]
[JACKSON] Oh, and what's this? A
little thank-you for the interview?
What's Cantor got on you then?
[DIANA] He doesn't have anything on me.
Well, he paraded you around like
you were in a bikini at Butlins.
What did you take from him then? Money?
Is that how you paid for Kazan?
'Cause nobody pulls off a
hit on a foreign holiday,
especially not one that
happens to be in Russia.
Not without serious fucking
brass in their pocket.
And-And we both know
that there's no spare cash
for Service jollies right now.
Cantor wanted to invest
in national security
when we needed investment.
I can assure you he has not bought me.
Oh, believe me, Diana,
if you took his money, he owns
every last fucking inch of you.
- [SCOFFS]
- What else has he asked you to do?
Christ, that's fucking horrible.
[GAGS]
He's media. I can handle him.
He's nothing.
I hope you're right because it
was Cantor that hired Harkness.
[SIGHS] Now, you don't
do anything like that
unless you're up to
something very, very naughty.
It's under control.
You have to trust me on this, Jackson.
When I hear the words "trust me,"
I get the feeling someone's
pissing in my shoe.
But you've already pissed
in my shoe, haven't you?
You know the first thing I'd do
if I was the head of
Russian Intelligence,
looking for an off-books assassin
who had just topped one of my Joes?
I'd look to see who'd recently
been scrubbed from the records.
So when you covered your tracks
by wiping every file Sid
Baker's name was ever in,
you basically drew a great
bloody arrow over my lot,
making them look like
the fucking A-Team.
Sid Baker's file was
wiped a long time ago.
But she was still in the deep
data sets though, wasn't she?
Or you wouldn't have had
to do it all over again.
What are the GRU coming to?
Beria must be turning in his grave.
As I have already told
you, I am on top of this.
Well, if this is you on top, Diana,
I'd hate to see what
you're like underneath.
Where are you going?
[JACKSON] To find out what
links Cantor to the Russians.
Try not to make any more
bad decisions while I'm gone.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
You never told me whose funeral it was.
- Didn't I?
- No.
Oh.
It was my grandfather.
- River.
- Yeah.
[CLICKS TONGUE] So sorry.
Ah, well.
Why didn't you say?
Well, because we've been
a little bit distracted.
Yeah, I've just not
God, I haven't thought about
it since all this happened.
That's been quite nice.
This should happen more.
- [SIGHS]
- [CHUCKLES]
No, it's it was fine.
Well
Towards the end, he
well, he just wasn't really there. So
I'm sorry.
My bullet's stopped talking to me.
When he put my head in the water,
it bubbled a bit and then
then it stopped.
I think he drowned Poirot.
- Well, that's good news.
- [CHUCKLES]
I'm not an expert, right, but maybe
that's how it works with traumas.
You know, one cancels out the others.
- Right. You're not an expert.
- Yeah.
'Cause that sounds like seven
years of medical school to me.
- Shut up. Shut up.
- [CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLES]
Thank you, by the way.
It was either him or you, Sid.
And I'd really prefer if
it was never you again.
Agent Baker located.
Cartwright's with her.
It's just in the nick of time, lads.
He's over there.
[SINGH] Ma'am, we've picked
up Baker and Cartwright.
They've already dispatched
the Russian agent.
Report back to me when they've
reached their destination.
Vassily, it's Diana.
I'm afraid there's been a development.
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYS]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Yeah?
- [PETER] Morning.
- [CANTOR] Hmm.
[PETER CLICKS TONGUE]
Well, this all looks
reassuringly expensive.
What do you want, Peter?
Diana Taverner.
In a bit of hot water, if my
informants are to be believed.
I must say, I was a little alarmed
myself when I watched the interview.
Not quite what you led me to expect.
Oh, now you're, what? Running scared?
Oh, far from it.
I'm here to assure you of my
continuing support and collaboration,
should the scrutiny of
Diana broaden its focus.
I presume you prefer your
generosity to remain untrumpeted,
should anyone come asking?
Are you prepared to
say the money is yours?
Wouldn't that present
accounting difficulties, Peter?
Cooking the books is an ancestral skill.
[CANTOR CHUCKLES]
And, uh, in exchange for your
collaboration and support?
I've been out in the cold a long time.
I'd like my seat at the table back.
Oh, Peter. That would be
quite some rehabilitation.
- But not one I feel beyond the powers
- [PHONE BUZZING]
of a man who runs a news channel.
[BUZZING CONTINUES]
I have to take this.
Oh, quite.
Off I fuck.
[BUZZING CONTINUES]
[DOOR OPENS]
- Cantor.
- [NATASHA] Where are you?
[DOOR CLOSES]
At work.
But I'm free for lunch.
[NATASHA] No, you're not.
You're invited to Quaglino's restaurant.
And there will be people there.
People you've been wanting to meet.
Wait. [STAMMERS] What are you
saying? This is This is it?
[NATASHA] This is it.
The terms of the deal
might need some finessing.
But that's what will be on the table.
Along with arancini, of course.
Well, congratulations.
Your efforts have been recognized.
You're about to land the
biggest media distribution deal
in Russian history.
- So where are we heading?
- Park.
How did you know where we were?
[DOG 1] Member of the
public called it in.
Said someone commandeered her car.
And her dog.
[DOG WHINING]
[CHATTERING ON RADIO]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[MERCENARY 1] What the
fuck is wrong with him?
He takes a piss every five minutes.
You think he's got a prostate?
Everyone's got a prostate. [SIGHS]
I mean, one that doesn't work.
Tell you one thing for
sure. He's broken his ribs.
Look how he's moving.
[MERCENARY 1] You think
that's why he needed us?
Maybe he just wanted some company.
[SCOFFS]
Fucking hell. I should have warned
him what a gloomy bastard you are.
- Cheer the fuck up, will you?
- Yeah, I'm just
- [SHUSHES]
- Kid's turned his phone on again.
On the A40 and heading east.
Why don't you drive?
Take the back seat.
Yeah, take a back seat.
- [EXHALES DEEPLY]
- [CLATTERING]
[FABRIC RIPPING]
That's probably of her
niece or nephew or something.
Well, they're shit at art
then. I'm doing her a favor.
[FABRIC RIPPING]
You can get off your arse
and help me if you want.
No. Enjoying you at work.
- Impressive.
- Not as impressive as you.
What's that supposed to mean?
You tell me.
Is that it?
It's all I could find.
[MOIRA] It's my understanding
that we're meant to stay inside
the confines of the building.
This is a safe house, Moira.
We're not under house arrest.
What about the petrol from the car?
No way. If we need to
get away, we'd be fucked.
Was this the tea loaf?
If we need to defend
ourselves, we'd be fucked.
[CATHERINE] I think the tea
loaf is the least of our worries.
Look, the Park has wiped us.
If this goes bad, no
one's coming to help.
On the list please, Shirley. We
None of us knows how long
we're going to be here.
- What if we have to implement rationing?
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
Petrol's probably free anyway.
Like everything else in
that amazing job of yours.
- Mm-mmm. It's called a contract.
- New car.
Wads of cash. Almost
too good to be true.
- Sorry I'm happy.
- Oh, no. Don't be.
- I'm so happy that you're happy.
- Oh, good.
It works out then.
[VEHICLE APPROACHING]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
- Nice gaff.
- [LOUISA] It's Roddy.
We should check out the master bedroom.
[RODDY CHUCKLES]
Someone's had a glow-up.
- [LOUISA] Missed you.
- [PHONE RINGS]
[SHIRLEY] What the
fuck are you doing here?
[RODDY, SHIRLEY CHATTERING]
[RINGING CONTINUES]
[PHONE BEEPS]
Hello?
[JACKSON] Is that Standish?
You got over yourself yet?
I still want to shove your head in
a mangle, if that's what you mean.
[JACKSON SIGHS] You should relax.
Neck that Pinot you've
been toting about.
Well, it was a Margaux.
And as you know, I left
it in the back of your car.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, so you did.
[INHALES SHARPLY] Who's arrived?
Is Ho there yet?
[CATHERINE] Yes, he's just got here.
But no River and Coe yet.
And we had to bring Moira Tregorian.
- It's a long story.
- Hmm.
Oh, fucking hell. That'd
drive you to drink.
Look, what's the plan? Seeing
as you've got us all here.
Shirley's been making petrol bombs.
Plan?
Well, it's a safe house.
The clue's in the name.
Here, put Ho on the line, will you?
[CATHERINE] Yep. Hang on.
Um, Roddy!
Hello. Lamb needs you.
Like the desert needs the rain.
Yeah?
Diana Taverner is in
bed with Damien Cantor.
Find out who else she's seeing.
Home Secretary,
I have already acknowledged
that the outcome of the interview
was not what I had hoped.
Will you also acknowledge that,
in simply agreeing to do it,
you showed poorer judgment
than we have a right to
expect from a First Desk?
And you won't see it again from me.
Though you have seen worse from others.
Are you trying to
minimize your own blunders
by tarnishing the reputations
of your predecessors?
No. I'm just answering the
questions the committee puts to me.
Very well.
How did you fund the operation in Kazan?
I believe Oliver has
jumped to our next item.
The killing of a Russian agent
on Russian soil by one of ours.
Presumably the retaliation that
was mentioned in the interview.
If this is new to you, gentlemen,
it's because First Desk did
not seek approval or oversight
for the operation through
the usual channels.
Or indeed through any channels.
Is this true, Diana?
It is true that recently we responded
to nerve attacks on British soil
with an action in Russia, yes.
Without oversight, scrutiny or approval?
Yes.
[HOME SECRETARY] We have
protocols for a reason.
And sometimes there are
reasons not to follow them.
What reason could there possibly be
for ignoring compliance at every level?
Th-This committee is
an answer in itself.
[COMMITTEE MURMURS]
[DIANA] This isn't the Civil Service.
This is the Secret Service.
And in the time it would've
taken for me to get a sign-off,
the opportunity for
action would've gone.
You ask how I funded this?
The answer is, with great difficulty.
I'm expected to manage
the safety of this country
with the funds of a village fete.
It's like being sent into
a gun fight with a pencil.
A pencil that requires a
subcommittee's approval.
Park budgets increased
by over 4% last year.
Given that the operational costs
have increased by twice that,
we're still in deficit.
Now, I've made your cuts.
A snip here, a snip there.
But you shouldn't be
asking me how I funded this.
You should be asking me how
I will fund the next one,
and the next one, and
the one after that.
That, gentlemen, is what
keeps me awake at night.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
What's going on?
Yeah, wh-where are you taking us?
[TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]
[RIVER] You said you were
taking us to the Park. This
What the fuck is happening?
What is this? Who's that for?
Can you hear me?
You understand we're active
agents, don't you? What
Does Taverner know we're here?
- All right. Can-Can you just
- Sit.
[RIVER SIGHS]
Stay.
[DOORS CLOSING]
[MERCENARY 2 EXHALES DEEPLY]
So, this is as far
as the signal took us?
Uh-huh.
And what now?
[SIGHS]
You start earning your wages.
Needle in a haystack though, isn't it?
You know how you find one of those?
Burn down the fucking haystack.
Right.
- [BALL THUDS]
- [MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
[CHATTERING ON TV]
[RODDY] Hey, guess how much Taverner
spent on a pair of door handles?
- Forty quid?
- Uh-uh.
- Sixty?
- More.
- [SHIRLEY] 200?
- Don't go through her stuff.
512 plus VAT for a pair of antique
clear etched floral glass door handles.
- That's half my bloody rent.
- Yeah.
- Can you stop that?
- What are you even doing on her laptop?
If you must know,
which you don't need to,
Lamb asked me to track
Cantor's movements.
Why do you even give a shit anyway?
Taverner gave you the old heave-Ho.
[LOUISA] What do you
think you'll do now?
- Get a job at her place. Life-changing.
- Yeah.
I've always imagined you
two doing something together.
[FLYTE] Seriously?
Have you actually ever
had sex with a woman?
Or any connection in real life?
'Cause this is pathetic.
[CHATTERING ON TV CONTINUES]
Hmm.
You don't look like a spy.
Me? Well, if I did look like a spy,
I wouldn't be a very good spy, would I?
If you were a good spy, you
wouldn't be in Slough House.
What are you then?
That's a very good question.
When we started out, most
women were support staff.
Yes, and we weren't always
supporting the right people.
I'm sorry for your loss.
He was an arsehole.
There's a lot of them about.
And he can't change now.
Whatever he was, that's
all he's ever going to be.
[SIGHS]
Sometimes it helps to
talk about these things.
No.
No, I don't blame you.
[PHONE RINGING]
[BEEPS]
- Westward Ho.
- [JACKSON SIGHS] Oh, fuck off.
Yeah, all right. So, I've
been through Cantor's diary.
He goes to boxing twice
a week, yoga once a week,
some sommelier thing, the
theater, a lot of chichi dinners.
And then, about twice a month, he goes
to some kids' ballet class in Hampstead.
It's on today.
- [JACKSON] Has he got kids?
- No.
Well, unless he's a pedo,
what the fuck is he doing
at a kids' ballet class?
Why you?
- What?
- Why
Why you? Why your name?
What, the hit in Kazan?
Taverner could have picked
any dead Joe's identity,
but she picked the one
agent whose death was faked.
What if I'm
her contingency plan?
I'm the throwaway.
We need to speak to Taverner.
Right, you know what, dickheads?
We're still actually active agents.
- Sit the fuck down!
- We have critical
Okay, okay, okay, okay,
okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Look, do you have any idea
what's been happening
since you picked us up?
Any idea at all?
Because I'm telling you,
if you have one single doubt about
what you're being asked to do here,
then you need to put me
through to the Park now.
Otherwise,
when the shit hits the
fan, and this is all over,
I can personally guarantee
that you're gonna be shipped off
to Slough House within the month.
Just one phone call.
[OFILI] Ma'am, we've got a
call from River Cartwright.
Do I put him through?
[CHATTERING CONTINUES]
Cartwright, what do you want?
[RIVER] Ma'am, I'm with Sid Baker.
And she wants to know if you can
personally vouch for her safety.
Put her on.
Baker?
[SID] What's happening here, ma'am?
Look, Sid
Your identity was used
for an off-books hit.
To stop an escalating situation,
I have agreed to hand
you over to the GRU.
You will be taken to Moscow,
where you will remain until we've
worked out the details of the trade.
And how long will that take?
Couple of months
at the most.
Ma'am.
Why did you tell everyone I was dead?
Because I thought it might be useful.
I cannot afford to lose the
agent that carried out the hit.
But I can afford to spare
you for a couple of months.
- Hmm?
- [PHONE BUZZING]
Uh, you have to trust
me on this, Sidonie.
[BUZZING CONTINUES]
[SIGHS]
Vassily?
[INHALES SHARPLY]
[SIGHS]
Well? What'd she say?
- Um
- Sid?
That she'll get me
back, and to trust her.
To trust her?
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
[SIGHS]
They're gonna kill me.
[SIGHS]
[OFILI] Ma'am, I'm looking
at their flight plan.
They're not taking her to Russia.
They're taking her to Sofia.
Bulgaria is neutral ground.
If she's not in Russia,
she won't be on the books.
They can do what they want with her.
The deal goes ahead.
- Y-You said it was a trade.
- The deal goes ahead.
["WALTZ OF THE FLOWERS" PLAYING]
[SIGHS]
[WRAPPER RUSTLING]
["WALTZ OF THE FLOWERS" CONTINUES]
[NATASHA CHUCKLING] Thank you.
Bye.
[JACKSON] Hello.
How you been? I haven't
seen you in ages.
I'm-I'm so sorry. Have we met?
[STAMMERS] Yeah. At the ballet class.
I-I think I spoke to your husband.
No. No. I don't think so.
- Wh-What's your daughter's name again?
- Uh, uh Matilda.
She's a tiny redhead.
Precocious thing.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Well, nice to see you.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
- I guess I'll see you next week?
- Yeah. I hope so.
[CHUCKLING] Bye.
- [PHONE RINGING]
- [CHATTERING ON TV]
- Hello?
- [JACKSON] Yeah. Put Ho on the line.
[SIGHS] Yeah. I've been
really good. Thanks.
He wants to speak to you.
Can you ask him how River is?
- What do you need?
- Cantor's been meeting someone.
She's got a Russian accent
and she just lost me,
which takes tradecraft.
Get me surveillance of people going
in and out of that ballet class.
She's a a brunette.
Give Flyte a run for her money.
Find out who she is.
We're running out of time.
Do you think they'll kill me mid-air,
or take me somewhere romantic?
[SIGHS]
What is a really romantic place to die?
Pierced by the Eiffel Tower?
[CHUCKLING] Yeah.
God, that's a good shout.
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
- Be a bit touristy, though.
- Yeah, you'll have to queue for hours.
[RIVER] Hmm.
Pyramids?
- On the whole spiky theme.
- Maybe if I asked them nicely.
[DOG] Both of you, up!
Wait here.
[SID SIGHING] Oh, God.
I thought getting shot in
the head was the worst thing
that could happen to me,
but apparently I was wrong.
Yeah.
- [SIGHS]
- You know, when they came for me,
you were the only person I
could think of going to for help.
[CHUCKLES]
How sad is that?
Really fucking sad.
[SIGHS] I'm glad I saw your
grandfather's house, though.
I liked it.
Felt like home.
Yeah, used to.
You know, he, um
he would do this thing.
Whenever he'd be expecting me,
he'd leave a light on. Just one.
Always.
And I mean that
that's when I miss him the most.
When I go back and
everything's just dark.
I'd leave a light on for you.
If it were my house.
You know, apparently, you can
have a lot of fun in the dark.
Or, you know, we could just
leave the lights on.
I suppose.
Yeah. Yeah.
Um
While we, um
Do stuff.
Right.
I wouldn't want to rush you.
That would not be an issue.
It has been many a moon.
- Many a moon?
- Hmm.
I mean, I've spent three
years in a sanatorium, so
Right. Well, it's not
been that long. Jesus.
- All right. Fuck off.
- Just saying.
- It's not
- Casanova.
Oh, God.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I don't want to do this, River.
[SIGHS]
[STAMMERS] This is bullshit.
Let's go.
[RIVER] Look. There must be
something that we can do? Okay?
We can speak to some
Please! Just Please!
Oh, fuck.
She really fancies me.
[GRUNTING]
Get Cartwright!
[GRUNTS] No!
- [GRUNTS]
- [CLAMORING]
- Get out the car!
- Come on! Come on!
[GRUNTING]
[DOG 1] Get Baker! She's leaving!
Go, go, go!
- Hold your fire! We need Baker alive!
- Go! Come on!
- Hold your fire! Don't shoot!
- [TIRES SCREECHING]
Don't shoot!
[SID] River, we're
going round in circles!
[GRUNTS]
Fuck off!
[RIVER PANTING]
[SIGHS]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
- What are you doing?
- Go. Run.
- No, just keep going.
- Sid, they don't want me. They want you.
- Keep driving.
- Sid
I don't have fucking
time for this, okay?
- I can delay them. Just fucking go.
- Jesus.
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
- Oh, so you've got time for that?
- Well
- Jesus. For fuck sake.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
[DOG 2, MUFFLED] Get
out the car! Get out!
Unlock the door!
[DOG 1] Where is she?
Where is she?
Where the fuck is she?