Rescue Me s07e01 Episode Script
Mutha
Previously on Rescue Me: Told you he'd be back.
Listen, kid, this job is balls out or no balls at all.
Yes.
Balls to the wall.
Got it.
All right.
Go get them.
Come on, guys! We gotta go! Okay, you have got to stop beating yourself up about this.
I really appreciate what you've been doing for the both of us.
Don't mention it.
Those things I said about hating you No, no.
No, no.
Listen.
Forget about that.
I know.
You don't hate me.
You don't blame me.
I blame myself.
No, you shouldn't.
I talked him into being a firefighter.
Yeah, did he wanna do it? Yeah, but, you know, I pushed him in that direction.
You promise the world to your children and your wife, and then you spend half of your waking hours spoon feeding your brain-damaged godson and giving emotional support to your ex-girlfriend.
I'm guessing she wasn't the designated driver.
She reminds you of your daughter.
I get it, okay, Tommy? But this is here, and this is now.
You're drinking too much.
I'm trying to explain something to you here.
Let's get a drink.
Dad! Ohh! Dad! Go to hell.
You may have saved our daughter.
Yeah.
Hey, do you want to, um Yeah.
Tonight? Might as well strike while the iron's hot.
Hey! What are you doing? Nothing.
I tripped.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Did he talk? What? I mean, did he do anything? No.
Oh, okay, no.
I know.
It's totally insane.
It's just that, you know, whenever I leave here without him, I always feel like, you know, um, something's gonna happen when I'm out of here.
I mean, obviously I know you're gonna call me if he talks or walks or something, but I don't know.
I get really panicky, you know, when I'm on my way home and I'm coming up the block, I'm walking in the building, coming up the elevator.
I feel like I'll walk in, you'll be like, "he just talked," or something.
I don't know.
Did he talk? What? Did he talk? No.
I know.
Duh.
It's just Sorry.
Are you all right? Yeah.
Just I'm gonna clean this stuff up.
* On another day C'mon, c'mon * * With these ropes tied tight Can we do no wrong? * * Now we grieve 'Cause now it's gone * * Things were good When we were young * * When my teeth bite down I can see the blood * * Of a thousand men Who have come and gone * * Now we grieve 'Cause now it's gone * * Things were good When we were young * * Is it safe to stay? * * C'mon, c'mon * * Was it right to leave? * * C'mon, c'mon * * Will I ever learn? * * C'mon, c'mon * * C'mon, c'mon C'mon, c'mon * Yes.
Yes, certainly.
The truth is as your age increases, so do the risks.
At age 40, the chances of Down Syndrome occurring are one in 109.
At age 43, that risk increases to one in 53.
Having said that, you have a healthy two-year-old at home.
You take good care of yourself.
All your key blood and physical numbers are good.
It's a chance you should really think about taking.
You'll have to come in for further tests and checkups all along the way, and I would expect that any little doubt or pain or ache is something you pay rapt attention to, but you've gotta make your mind up.
You gotta be certain.
You've discussed this with your husband, the decision whether to go ahead or not? No.
I haven't.
It's complicated.
So is the pregnancy.
When were you gonna tell me? Jesus Christ, Tommy! I wasn't.
How'd you find out? The Blame book.
Yeah.
You know, sometimes I read.
Sometimes I see books in the house, and I peruse them.
You read the Blame book? I thought there might be a picture of me in it.
I was pulling out the Johnny Unitas book.
Johnny Unitas was Yeah, about how to play professional football.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
I read it when Connor was 8.
He wanted to play quarterback.
I thought he just had a natural, uh Spiral? Nope.
That was me.
Chapter four.
Listen, I wanna have this kid.
What? The only way that I will have this kid is if you promise to be a normal, close-to-home dad.
Okay? Teach him or her how to play football, okay? And teach them right from wrong.
Normal.
We are way beyond goddamn normal at this point.
All of that shit disappeared after those planes hit those towers, after Jimmy died, after you not in so many words, but after you told me to get over it and grow up.
That's not fair.
Okay? I got news for you.
There's no getting over it.
Normal Normal is dead and buried underneath Ground Zero.
I'm just trying to make sense outta what's left above ground.
Get out.
Get out.
No.
I'm not That Wait.
What are you? Ah, Jesus Christ.
Get ba Unbelievable.
Honey, get in the car.
It's absolutely freezing out here.
Get in the car.
Now.
Jesus.
Honey.
Hey.
Honey.
What are you? Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Jesus.
Stop the car.
Now, okay Get off the car! Get off the car! I Jesus Chri Hey! What is wrong with you? Get off! Aw, shit.
I'm What are you Are you goddamn crazy? Tommy, this is a professional building.
People are watching.
Get off.
All right, goddamn it.
Pull over now.
Tommy, get off the car.
Stop the car.
Okay.
I What are you? No.
No, no, no.
Ahh.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Ahh.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Um, is that my purse? Uh, yes.
Uh, you left it in my, uh Here.
Thanks.
Are you okay? Yeah.
I'm sorry.
This is my husband Tommy.
Hi.
Ow.
Hi.
Let's get in the car, honey.
Yes.
Nice Nice Nice You, too.
I'm back.
Hey.
Hey.
Ugh All right.
Hey.
Did you get the crudités? That's the broccoli, cauliflower, and carrot thing? Yes.
I got it.
And the vinaigrette? That's the Paul Newman thing? With Paul Newman's face on the bottle.
Mm-hm.
Yeah, I got it.
What about the extra virgin olive oil? Is that with Rachael Ray's face on it? - Yes.
- Got it.
Applesauce? Who's face was on that? No one's.
Oh, shit.
Oh, come on.
Tommy, that's Damian's favorite to have with the lamb.
I'll just unload this shit, and I'll go back down and get it.
Why can't they have somebody's face on the applesauce, like, isn't Gwyneth Paltrow's kid named after an apple? I think all the food should have famous faces on it so, you know, you can keep track of it, like, you know, Gwyneth Paltrow on the applesauce and George Lopez on beans.
Nicolas Cage on canned hams.
It's funny, right? Because he's so over the Mm-hm.
I know.
Don't.
Don't.
What was that? What? What are you laughing at? What you just said.
Yeah, about, um, Nick Nolte.
Nicolas Cage.
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
Uh-huh.
Mm-hm.
What's the, uh, what's with the whispering? I can't.
I can't.
Okay.
Listen, you have really great legs.
- Really? - Yes, really.
And they are They're just, kind of, um What? Girly.
What? I don't have girl legs.
What are you talking about? But they also look They look great on a man.
Uh-huh.
Yes.
I've been around long enough to know that's not what you girls You didn't start talking about my legs just all of a sudden.
You had to be talking about something else.
What? I'm sorry, sweetheart.
What? What? Were you talking about my? Oh! Get over yourself, Tommy.
Come on! I mean, seriously.
We did not talk about your penis.
Did we? No.
All right.
No penis.
Today.
Gonna get the applesauce now.
Don't go! Don't go away mad! Just go away! All right.
Ah, it's official.
I am losing my goddamn mind, okay? Thirteen days without a fire? It's ridiculous.
We have to do garbage jobs, frozen pipes.
I just came I went upstairs.
I read the last old Sports Illustrated I could read.
I tried to jerk off to Megan Fox on the cover of a Maxim magazine that had a coffee stain on it.
You sure that was coffee? I'm serious, Lou.
Gonna take those magazines, light them on fire so we have something to put out.
Shh! Come on.
Do you mind? They're watching Jersey Shore.
This show is racist, man.
It makes Italians look like we're stupid idiots with perfectly chiseled bodies, fake tans, and gay haircuts.
I don't have a gay haircut, guys.
You think this shit is racist? What about Flavor of Love with Flavor Flav? Walking around with his gold fronts in his mouth, big clock around his skinny-ass neck, popping champagne bottles, bunch of loudmouthed chicken heads screaming and fighting each other, trying to marry him because he used to be famous.
Is that true representation of the folks in my community? Don't answer that question, all right? This show is racist.
Give me that remote.
No, no, no.
Come on, man.
Bullshit.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Guys, seriously.
I'm missing the show.
Give me the thing.
Knock it off! What's the matter with you guys? Ain't a playground.
It's a firehouse.
Hey, listen.
How many times I gotta tell you guys? Replace the toilet paper roll when it's out.
I had to duck walk down to the storage closet and back.
Now I got a rash.
Chief, you've had a rash since I've known you.
Yeah, now my rash has a rash, Lou.
My crotch is like a goddamn Republican landslide.
Wanna see a fire you can put out? Here.
Put this out.
- Whoa! - Chill out, man.
Quit your bitching.
Pipe down.
- Sit.
Food's ready.
- Yeah! Finally.
Come on.
Mikey, grab some plates will you, please? Goddamn it.
You need a hand? Nah.
Nah, man.
I'm good.
Thanks.
What about you? What about me, what? I mean, come on, man.
You're looming over me like a dark cloud.
Aw, shit.
My bad, son.
Just bored, you know.
I was just bored.
Trouble with the vag? The vagina.
Your girl.
Ah, shit, nah, son.
Everything's Everything No trouble there.
Maybe.
A little.
All right, well, let me be the judge of that.
Judge vagina.
Lay it out.
Heh, okay, Judge vagina.
Oh.
You know, when you can And then there's like this little Uh, and there's a feeling right there.
Yeah.
Then when it gets in this Crazy.
Ah, shit.
I wanna marry Colleen.
Do it.
Do it? Pop the question.
Pop the what? Do it? Pop the question? Yeah.
Coming from Mr.
America's most wanted with the girls? Uh, hey, now, order in the court.
Listen.
Let's be real, okay? It's me.
You came to me to ask me whether or not you should marry this girl probably because everybody in this house knows I'm a playboy and you thought I was gonna talk you out of it.
What that says to me is you really love this girl, you want to marry her, and that's cool.
It's that your nuts are crawled up somewhere behind your pelvis, and you can't work up the nerve to pop the question.
I mean, I tell you what, Shawn.
I seen the way this girl looks at you.
She loves you.
She'll say yes.
All you gotta do is, you know, man up and ask.
That's it.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
What happened to Franco, Mr.
Pussy Man? Mr.
Pussy Man.
I mean, Mr.
, you know, "I hit the skins and scram, and I'm in, and I'm out.
" What happened to all that? Shawn, Shawn, Shawn, I may hound-dog my way around the boroughs, but I still remember what it feels like to love a girl, you know, to have somebody that's in your corner, make you feel like you can do anything, you know, maybe scratch your big peanut head while you watch TV and just be sweet for no good goddamn reason other than that she's crazy about you.
Man, I get it.
And I tell you what, I ain't pulling none of that out at the club scalping pussies in the V.
I.
P.
, but you, you got real love standing right in front of you, and I don't know, man.
I envy you.
I do got that standing right in front of me, don't I? Yeah, like a Fifth Avenue bus bearing down on your black ass, you sure as hell do.
Damn.
I guess there's not much trouble there after all.
Nah, I wouldn't say that.
I mean, it's not my kind of trouble.
It's not fun trouble.
It's just trouble of a different kind.
Good luck, Romeo.
You know, um, you may need this.
Comes in handy.
Shit.
Hey, honey, I'm home.
I thought we could take the kids to the, uh Hi.
Hi.
Did I just enter my apartment or another dimension? What's Janet had a doctor's appointment, and Damian is at physical therapy, so I offered to make lunch before Shawn takes the kids to the museum.
Okay.
Where's Colleen? At work.
Oh, she got a job? Yeah, at the bar.
Whose idea was that? I don't know.
Janet seemed fine with it.
Well, I'm not fine with it.
Well, then get your ass down there.
You're her sponsor.
Go figure it out.
Well, I will, just as soon as I help Katy with her, uh, homework.
I already did, and the baby is fed and changed and now is napping.
Auntie Sheila, can I Thank you.
Hi, Dad.
Hi.
When did? What? Okay, what's happening? What, with the sandwich? No, no, no, with you and Janet.
What's? What is this? Oh.
What? We bonded.
Don't, she's like the sister that I never had.
Really? Okay, sweetheart, I'm pretty sure if you had a sister, you'd have drowned her in the bathtub by the time she was age 6.
If she was prettier than me, she wouldn't have made it outta the womb.
Hah! I'm serious.
Is this like a frenemy thing? Are you gonna be like best friends with her and You're not thinking of taking that baby, are you? Boy, you kidnap one kid, and then everybody automatic No! Tommy, don't be so naive.
All right? Janet and I have been at war, and we have been entrenched against each other, but now we are entrenched together.
Against me.
No, not against you, for each other.
Do you know what I mean? Against the world and tragedy and bad and hurt and ugly.
Mm-hm.
Listen.
You guys have the brotherhood, so we have the motherhood.
Oh, really? How about that? Mm-hm.
Which reminds me, I, um I wouldn't try to make any attempts at getting intimate with Janet, because she's not feeling very sexy right now.
What? She's anxious about checkups and dangers and Colleen and blah, blah, blah.
So, um, basically the bottom line is that your dick's flying solo for the next six months.
Okay, I know she did not say that.
Ye I'm interpreting, all right? She and I talked, and now I'm reading between the lines for you.
All right? It's called empathy and sympathy.
You ever heard of that? I don't know.
Use it.
Improve your marriage.
Look, I am.
I'm really trying to help you, okay? She doesn't need to be pressured.
She needs love and support and tenderness, not a walking hard-on with a fire helmet.
Which reminds me, we need jelly, so put that on the list.
She did not say, "Walking hard-on with a fire helmet.
" No, yeah, she did.
Those were her exact words.
Okay, this is bullshit.
I know it's bullshit, because whenever she's pregnant, she likes to have a lot of sex.
It's one of her things.
Oh? Well, see, her things now, ahem, are amniocentesis and extreme nausea and heavy spotting and little bit of anal leakage.
It's not about your pee-pee.
Uh, you're probably right.
It's not, especially when the words spotting and leakage are involved.
What else are you adding to the list? Hand lotion.
No, you have some already.
Think I'm gonna need my own private bottle.
Ew! Yeah.
Well, you're the one who said my dick was gonna be flying solo.
I did not tell you to foam the runway.
Ew.
Go see Colleen.
Oh, I'm going to see Colleen.
I am going to see Colleen right Hi.
How How was your sandwich? Hey.
What the hell you doing? What's it look like? I'm working.
Oh, by the way, I own the joint.
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
You own this joint? Yeah.
Somebody at Eddie's law firm found out he didn't have a liquor license and threatened to have him disbarred if he didn't dump the joint, so me and Mick took over.
You and Mickey own the bar? Yeah.
Cash on the barrel.
Me and Mick, And I still got the shotgun under the bar, so someone tries to take the place away from me, I'm gonna give them a shot on the house, buckshot.
You guys, do you think it's a really good idea for two alkies to own a bar? There wasn't another hobby you guys could take up? Uh, I can't fight fires anymore.
I gotta do something to keep my life interesting.
You know, try yoga, Pilates, goddamn Facebook.
I can't do that stuff, because I'm a heterosexual, a heavily armed heterosexual.
Yeah.
Wouldn't know it by that shirt.
There she is.
Hey, honey.
Hey.
Hey, grab your shit.
We're going home.
What do you mean she's going? She's going home.
She's got three hours left.
Her shift is over, all right? Listen, it's a brilliant system? Oh, really? All AA all the time, day and night.
Uh-huh.
Hey, it's no sense in denying that the booze is out there.
The entire staff is in the program.
Everybody watches out for everybody else.
Nobody skims off the top.
Nobody drinks up the inventory.
Whole place is on the up and up.
Mm-hm.
Besides, Colleen's sponsor can keep an eye on her.
Okay, that's impossible.
I'm her sponsor.
No, no.
I'm her sponsor.
No, no, no.
I'm her sponsor.
I said I'm her sponsor! Hey, keep your voice down.
Dad, no, okay, it's him.
He's my sponsor now.
Give me one good reason he shouldn't be.
I'll give you a million good reasons, but here's number one: I'm your father, okay? I said a good reason.
Listen, little girl.
I'm the one who got you sober, okay, so Dad.
What? You did your part, okay? You got me to see what I was doing to myself, but I gotta take the wheels now.
You can't be my father and my sponsor.
You have a hard enough time with the father part.
Ouch.
Okay, just for your information, one of the reasons I came down here today was because I wanted I wanted to take you to a meeting, okay? So that What? Okay.
Well, don't worry, because we have one here after closing.
What? Yeah.
The whole staff sticks around for it.
Some of the best meetings I've ever been to happen here.
We all know each other.
Plus, since we get to see on a minute-by-minute basis just how stupid everyone gets even after a couple of drinks, it's like a constant reminder of how lucky we are to be sober.
Plus, you know, people tip like crazy when they're shitfaced.
I made 300 bucks last night.
Well, maybe I'll just come down later, and join you guys No.
I'm sorry, Dad, but it's for employees only.
Plus, I don't know.
I feel kind of weird being in meetings with you.
What? No offense.
I just, I can't really open up like I can with these guys, heh.
Okay.
AA meetings in a bar.
Great idea.
I'd like to stay, but I can't, because I've got a Gamblers Anonymous meeting over at the Borgata, okay? Call me when she starts drinking, assholes.
Hi, baby.
Hey.
Hey.
Oh, you got everything? I got everything.
Great.
Kids asleep? Yep.
Look, we have to decide if we wanna know if the baby's a boy or a girl or not.
Honey, it's up to you.
What? Yeah.
Really? It's up to you.
Because with the other three kids, we got in huge fights over this, because you always wanna know, and I don't wanna know.
And then with Katy, you snuck behind my back to find out what sex she was.
Well, I knew, but this time, it's different.
It's completely up to you.
Okay.
Great.
And I gotta say, honey, you look gorgeous right now.
You always look good when you're pregnant, but this time around, you just look stunning.
Thanks.
I mean, you're just you're glowing.
Yeah? Yeah.
Hmm.
Tommy Shh.
I know.
Okay? It's, it's all right.
What's all right? I've been watching you, I've been listening to you.
I've been reading between the lines, and, uh, don't worry.
It's okay.
What's okay? If you don't wanna make love because you're worried, you know, during this particular pregnancy.
Don't.
It's okay.
I understand.
You do? Mm-hm.
You just sensed that? Sensed it.
Yeah.
Wow.
Hmm.
Okay.
All right.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Everything's gonna be fine.
I checked on Colleen down at her job.
She's doing fine.
Okay.
Everybody's in good hands.
Just like our baby.
That's right.
Yeah.
Oh, Tommy Gavin, you are really full of surprises.
I know.
I mean, you've, you've changed.
I guess so.
I like it.
Hmm.
I guess I'm not just a, uh, walking hard-on.
What's wrong? Did you talk to Sheila today? Yeah.
That's where I got the list of the, the stuff to She gave me the shopping list.
Yeah, and she told you I called you a walking hard-on in a fire helmet.
Okay.
She told me a lot of stuff.
She told me the stuff to buy and she told me that you needed tenderness and caring and, and another thing.
Sympathy.
Yes.
I thought that you had changed.
I really was believing what you said.
I'm changing.
I'm changing.
I'm I'm like an amoeba right now.
I'm just I'm gonna, I'm gonna be tender, and I am, am I not being caring? And I'm gonna do the other thing.
Showing sympathy.
Yes.
Okay, I don't know why I'm forgetting that This is real stuff, honey.
Okay.
Okay.
So, what about the sex? Well, I'm game if you are.
Of the baby.
Oh, right.
No, I'm fine with that.
Whatever.
Whatever you want.
Totally what you want.
Okay.
And what about sex? Hey, hey, I can, I can go four months.
Six.
Six months.
I can do six months.
Yeah? Yeah.
Thank you.
All right.
Okay, now scoot.
Why? Tommy, I'm getting so big, and it is so hard to sleep now.
But if you aren't in the bed, I'm gonna be more comfortable.
I really need to sleep tonight.
Sure.
All right, thanks.
And you have, uh, Wyatt duty tonight.
Okay.
He wakes up in the middle of the night, he's all yours.
You got it.
Oh! Hand lotion.
I just ran out.
Oh! Well, I just, wasn't on the list.
Just, um, kind of sensed it.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night, baby.
Hey, Col.
Hey, Boo.
What's up? Not much.
Uh, I need to talk to you.
Okay.
Come on.
Let's go.
Hey, baby, what about our shots? In a minute, douche bag.
Baby? Did you just call my girl "Baby"? First of all, she's not a baby, all right? She's a lady.
Second of all, when you address the lady, you use courtesy and some goddamn respect, all right? Third of all, will you Aah! Jeez.
Um, Col, do you think it's a good idea that you're working around all this booze and these knucklehead guys that are out there? I mean, come on.
Okay, don't worry about the booze.
I've got Mickey and Teddy here, so it's a total support system.
Plus, I'm making, like, Oh.
What about the guys checking out your ass and calling you baby? Uh, you might wanna worry about those guys just a little bit.
I'm just kidding.
Okay, babe, they're just a bunch of drunken fools.
You know what? On the subject of fools, uh Shawn, what did you do? Uh, it ain't what I did, it's what I'm about to do.
Col, will you marry me? Yes.
Yes? Yes.
Yes.
Does that surprise you or scare you? Uh, heh, fifty-fifty.
It's Okay, um, do you want some time to think it over or No.
No, I don't need any time.
I'm done with the thinking, all right? It's time for Shawn to start doing, and that's what we're doing.
Come on.
Okay.
Ha, ha.
Here you go, girl.
Let's see.
Oh, my God.
Ha, ha! Oh, okay.
Get up here.
Oh, I'm so happy.
Me too.
I am gonna make the best wife ever.
I mean, not at first maybe, but, but eventually I'm sure I'll be great at it.
I mean, how hard can it be, right? Right.
Right.
I mean, you know, these things take time to be Listen, I'm gonna let you get back to work because, you gotta get out there, make those tips, baby.
We got a wedding to pay for.
I know.
Oh, my God.
I love you.
I love you too.
Okay, bye.
There goes the bride.
Hey.
Hey.
Where is she? She's in the storage room.
Yeah, Tom, I don't know.
We got this system going, and it's It's working beautifully.
Like a charm.
I don't know what happened.
Hey.
Hey.
You two assholes have done enough damage as it is, okay? I'm gonna go get my little girl.
I'm gonna take her out the back door, try to preserve whatever dignity she's got left, and then sometime soon, I'm gonna come back here, and then I'll deal with the two of you in a manner that's just and fitting.
Just and fitting.
What do you suppose that means? It's gonna be fitting, but it ain't gonna be just.
Attaboy.
Can't take this shit without a shot.
Amen to that.
Amen to that.
My kid, another one on the way, plus Sheila.
You got a full house, brother, full goddamn house.
Nerves are gonna fray, you don't got some kind of release valve, you know.
You deserve this, Tom.
Go ahead.
Go for it.
Seriously, after all you've been through, me, the whole Damian thing.
And by the way, I think you're doing a great job with that.
Seriously.
I mean, I know you blame yourself, but don't.
You're doing great.
Honestly.
Hey, Tommy, look how peaceful she is.
She sleeps deep, Tom.
You should be doing the same.
You got the tenth anniversary coming up.
Ten years on.
Ten years of grief and anguish and blame.
Wanna face that empty-handed? Shit.
I was alive, if I made it through and you didn't, if that was Damian laying there passed out on the floor like that, you can bet your ass I'd have a jar of Jameson jammed in my good hand.
Bet your balls on that.
After the war, lived my life with a bottle in one paw and a goddamn ax in the other.
Only way to keep the Nazi demons down.
Get a good glow on.
Sit back and relax.
Hey, Tom.
Tom.
Tom.
Last call everybody.
Sweet Jesus! You know, this actually is kind of fitting.
I'm gonna go get my daughter now.
Party's over, assholes.
Listen, kid, this job is balls out or no balls at all.
Yes.
Balls to the wall.
Got it.
All right.
Go get them.
Come on, guys! We gotta go! Okay, you have got to stop beating yourself up about this.
I really appreciate what you've been doing for the both of us.
Don't mention it.
Those things I said about hating you No, no.
No, no.
Listen.
Forget about that.
I know.
You don't hate me.
You don't blame me.
I blame myself.
No, you shouldn't.
I talked him into being a firefighter.
Yeah, did he wanna do it? Yeah, but, you know, I pushed him in that direction.
You promise the world to your children and your wife, and then you spend half of your waking hours spoon feeding your brain-damaged godson and giving emotional support to your ex-girlfriend.
I'm guessing she wasn't the designated driver.
She reminds you of your daughter.
I get it, okay, Tommy? But this is here, and this is now.
You're drinking too much.
I'm trying to explain something to you here.
Let's get a drink.
Dad! Ohh! Dad! Go to hell.
You may have saved our daughter.
Yeah.
Hey, do you want to, um Yeah.
Tonight? Might as well strike while the iron's hot.
Hey! What are you doing? Nothing.
I tripped.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Did he talk? What? I mean, did he do anything? No.
Oh, okay, no.
I know.
It's totally insane.
It's just that, you know, whenever I leave here without him, I always feel like, you know, um, something's gonna happen when I'm out of here.
I mean, obviously I know you're gonna call me if he talks or walks or something, but I don't know.
I get really panicky, you know, when I'm on my way home and I'm coming up the block, I'm walking in the building, coming up the elevator.
I feel like I'll walk in, you'll be like, "he just talked," or something.
I don't know.
Did he talk? What? Did he talk? No.
I know.
Duh.
It's just Sorry.
Are you all right? Yeah.
Just I'm gonna clean this stuff up.
* On another day C'mon, c'mon * * With these ropes tied tight Can we do no wrong? * * Now we grieve 'Cause now it's gone * * Things were good When we were young * * When my teeth bite down I can see the blood * * Of a thousand men Who have come and gone * * Now we grieve 'Cause now it's gone * * Things were good When we were young * * Is it safe to stay? * * C'mon, c'mon * * Was it right to leave? * * C'mon, c'mon * * Will I ever learn? * * C'mon, c'mon * * C'mon, c'mon C'mon, c'mon * Yes.
Yes, certainly.
The truth is as your age increases, so do the risks.
At age 40, the chances of Down Syndrome occurring are one in 109.
At age 43, that risk increases to one in 53.
Having said that, you have a healthy two-year-old at home.
You take good care of yourself.
All your key blood and physical numbers are good.
It's a chance you should really think about taking.
You'll have to come in for further tests and checkups all along the way, and I would expect that any little doubt or pain or ache is something you pay rapt attention to, but you've gotta make your mind up.
You gotta be certain.
You've discussed this with your husband, the decision whether to go ahead or not? No.
I haven't.
It's complicated.
So is the pregnancy.
When were you gonna tell me? Jesus Christ, Tommy! I wasn't.
How'd you find out? The Blame book.
Yeah.
You know, sometimes I read.
Sometimes I see books in the house, and I peruse them.
You read the Blame book? I thought there might be a picture of me in it.
I was pulling out the Johnny Unitas book.
Johnny Unitas was Yeah, about how to play professional football.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
I read it when Connor was 8.
He wanted to play quarterback.
I thought he just had a natural, uh Spiral? Nope.
That was me.
Chapter four.
Listen, I wanna have this kid.
What? The only way that I will have this kid is if you promise to be a normal, close-to-home dad.
Okay? Teach him or her how to play football, okay? And teach them right from wrong.
Normal.
We are way beyond goddamn normal at this point.
All of that shit disappeared after those planes hit those towers, after Jimmy died, after you not in so many words, but after you told me to get over it and grow up.
That's not fair.
Okay? I got news for you.
There's no getting over it.
Normal Normal is dead and buried underneath Ground Zero.
I'm just trying to make sense outta what's left above ground.
Get out.
Get out.
No.
I'm not That Wait.
What are you? Ah, Jesus Christ.
Get ba Unbelievable.
Honey, get in the car.
It's absolutely freezing out here.
Get in the car.
Now.
Jesus.
Honey.
Hey.
Honey.
What are you? Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Jesus.
Stop the car.
Now, okay Get off the car! Get off the car! I Jesus Chri Hey! What is wrong with you? Get off! Aw, shit.
I'm What are you Are you goddamn crazy? Tommy, this is a professional building.
People are watching.
Get off.
All right, goddamn it.
Pull over now.
Tommy, get off the car.
Stop the car.
Okay.
I What are you? No.
No, no, no.
Ahh.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Ahh.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Um, is that my purse? Uh, yes.
Uh, you left it in my, uh Here.
Thanks.
Are you okay? Yeah.
I'm sorry.
This is my husband Tommy.
Hi.
Ow.
Hi.
Let's get in the car, honey.
Yes.
Nice Nice Nice You, too.
I'm back.
Hey.
Hey.
Ugh All right.
Hey.
Did you get the crudités? That's the broccoli, cauliflower, and carrot thing? Yes.
I got it.
And the vinaigrette? That's the Paul Newman thing? With Paul Newman's face on the bottle.
Mm-hm.
Yeah, I got it.
What about the extra virgin olive oil? Is that with Rachael Ray's face on it? - Yes.
- Got it.
Applesauce? Who's face was on that? No one's.
Oh, shit.
Oh, come on.
Tommy, that's Damian's favorite to have with the lamb.
I'll just unload this shit, and I'll go back down and get it.
Why can't they have somebody's face on the applesauce, like, isn't Gwyneth Paltrow's kid named after an apple? I think all the food should have famous faces on it so, you know, you can keep track of it, like, you know, Gwyneth Paltrow on the applesauce and George Lopez on beans.
Nicolas Cage on canned hams.
It's funny, right? Because he's so over the Mm-hm.
I know.
Don't.
Don't.
What was that? What? What are you laughing at? What you just said.
Yeah, about, um, Nick Nolte.
Nicolas Cage.
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
Uh-huh.
Mm-hm.
What's the, uh, what's with the whispering? I can't.
I can't.
Okay.
Listen, you have really great legs.
- Really? - Yes, really.
And they are They're just, kind of, um What? Girly.
What? I don't have girl legs.
What are you talking about? But they also look They look great on a man.
Uh-huh.
Yes.
I've been around long enough to know that's not what you girls You didn't start talking about my legs just all of a sudden.
You had to be talking about something else.
What? I'm sorry, sweetheart.
What? What? Were you talking about my? Oh! Get over yourself, Tommy.
Come on! I mean, seriously.
We did not talk about your penis.
Did we? No.
All right.
No penis.
Today.
Gonna get the applesauce now.
Don't go! Don't go away mad! Just go away! All right.
Ah, it's official.
I am losing my goddamn mind, okay? Thirteen days without a fire? It's ridiculous.
We have to do garbage jobs, frozen pipes.
I just came I went upstairs.
I read the last old Sports Illustrated I could read.
I tried to jerk off to Megan Fox on the cover of a Maxim magazine that had a coffee stain on it.
You sure that was coffee? I'm serious, Lou.
Gonna take those magazines, light them on fire so we have something to put out.
Shh! Come on.
Do you mind? They're watching Jersey Shore.
This show is racist, man.
It makes Italians look like we're stupid idiots with perfectly chiseled bodies, fake tans, and gay haircuts.
I don't have a gay haircut, guys.
You think this shit is racist? What about Flavor of Love with Flavor Flav? Walking around with his gold fronts in his mouth, big clock around his skinny-ass neck, popping champagne bottles, bunch of loudmouthed chicken heads screaming and fighting each other, trying to marry him because he used to be famous.
Is that true representation of the folks in my community? Don't answer that question, all right? This show is racist.
Give me that remote.
No, no, no.
Come on, man.
Bullshit.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Guys, seriously.
I'm missing the show.
Give me the thing.
Knock it off! What's the matter with you guys? Ain't a playground.
It's a firehouse.
Hey, listen.
How many times I gotta tell you guys? Replace the toilet paper roll when it's out.
I had to duck walk down to the storage closet and back.
Now I got a rash.
Chief, you've had a rash since I've known you.
Yeah, now my rash has a rash, Lou.
My crotch is like a goddamn Republican landslide.
Wanna see a fire you can put out? Here.
Put this out.
- Whoa! - Chill out, man.
Quit your bitching.
Pipe down.
- Sit.
Food's ready.
- Yeah! Finally.
Come on.
Mikey, grab some plates will you, please? Goddamn it.
You need a hand? Nah.
Nah, man.
I'm good.
Thanks.
What about you? What about me, what? I mean, come on, man.
You're looming over me like a dark cloud.
Aw, shit.
My bad, son.
Just bored, you know.
I was just bored.
Trouble with the vag? The vagina.
Your girl.
Ah, shit, nah, son.
Everything's Everything No trouble there.
Maybe.
A little.
All right, well, let me be the judge of that.
Judge vagina.
Lay it out.
Heh, okay, Judge vagina.
Oh.
You know, when you can And then there's like this little Uh, and there's a feeling right there.
Yeah.
Then when it gets in this Crazy.
Ah, shit.
I wanna marry Colleen.
Do it.
Do it? Pop the question.
Pop the what? Do it? Pop the question? Yeah.
Coming from Mr.
America's most wanted with the girls? Uh, hey, now, order in the court.
Listen.
Let's be real, okay? It's me.
You came to me to ask me whether or not you should marry this girl probably because everybody in this house knows I'm a playboy and you thought I was gonna talk you out of it.
What that says to me is you really love this girl, you want to marry her, and that's cool.
It's that your nuts are crawled up somewhere behind your pelvis, and you can't work up the nerve to pop the question.
I mean, I tell you what, Shawn.
I seen the way this girl looks at you.
She loves you.
She'll say yes.
All you gotta do is, you know, man up and ask.
That's it.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
What happened to Franco, Mr.
Pussy Man? Mr.
Pussy Man.
I mean, Mr.
, you know, "I hit the skins and scram, and I'm in, and I'm out.
" What happened to all that? Shawn, Shawn, Shawn, I may hound-dog my way around the boroughs, but I still remember what it feels like to love a girl, you know, to have somebody that's in your corner, make you feel like you can do anything, you know, maybe scratch your big peanut head while you watch TV and just be sweet for no good goddamn reason other than that she's crazy about you.
Man, I get it.
And I tell you what, I ain't pulling none of that out at the club scalping pussies in the V.
I.
P.
, but you, you got real love standing right in front of you, and I don't know, man.
I envy you.
I do got that standing right in front of me, don't I? Yeah, like a Fifth Avenue bus bearing down on your black ass, you sure as hell do.
Damn.
I guess there's not much trouble there after all.
Nah, I wouldn't say that.
I mean, it's not my kind of trouble.
It's not fun trouble.
It's just trouble of a different kind.
Good luck, Romeo.
You know, um, you may need this.
Comes in handy.
Shit.
Hey, honey, I'm home.
I thought we could take the kids to the, uh Hi.
Hi.
Did I just enter my apartment or another dimension? What's Janet had a doctor's appointment, and Damian is at physical therapy, so I offered to make lunch before Shawn takes the kids to the museum.
Okay.
Where's Colleen? At work.
Oh, she got a job? Yeah, at the bar.
Whose idea was that? I don't know.
Janet seemed fine with it.
Well, I'm not fine with it.
Well, then get your ass down there.
You're her sponsor.
Go figure it out.
Well, I will, just as soon as I help Katy with her, uh, homework.
I already did, and the baby is fed and changed and now is napping.
Auntie Sheila, can I Thank you.
Hi, Dad.
Hi.
When did? What? Okay, what's happening? What, with the sandwich? No, no, no, with you and Janet.
What's? What is this? Oh.
What? We bonded.
Don't, she's like the sister that I never had.
Really? Okay, sweetheart, I'm pretty sure if you had a sister, you'd have drowned her in the bathtub by the time she was age 6.
If she was prettier than me, she wouldn't have made it outta the womb.
Hah! I'm serious.
Is this like a frenemy thing? Are you gonna be like best friends with her and You're not thinking of taking that baby, are you? Boy, you kidnap one kid, and then everybody automatic No! Tommy, don't be so naive.
All right? Janet and I have been at war, and we have been entrenched against each other, but now we are entrenched together.
Against me.
No, not against you, for each other.
Do you know what I mean? Against the world and tragedy and bad and hurt and ugly.
Mm-hm.
Listen.
You guys have the brotherhood, so we have the motherhood.
Oh, really? How about that? Mm-hm.
Which reminds me, I, um I wouldn't try to make any attempts at getting intimate with Janet, because she's not feeling very sexy right now.
What? She's anxious about checkups and dangers and Colleen and blah, blah, blah.
So, um, basically the bottom line is that your dick's flying solo for the next six months.
Okay, I know she did not say that.
Ye I'm interpreting, all right? She and I talked, and now I'm reading between the lines for you.
All right? It's called empathy and sympathy.
You ever heard of that? I don't know.
Use it.
Improve your marriage.
Look, I am.
I'm really trying to help you, okay? She doesn't need to be pressured.
She needs love and support and tenderness, not a walking hard-on with a fire helmet.
Which reminds me, we need jelly, so put that on the list.
She did not say, "Walking hard-on with a fire helmet.
" No, yeah, she did.
Those were her exact words.
Okay, this is bullshit.
I know it's bullshit, because whenever she's pregnant, she likes to have a lot of sex.
It's one of her things.
Oh? Well, see, her things now, ahem, are amniocentesis and extreme nausea and heavy spotting and little bit of anal leakage.
It's not about your pee-pee.
Uh, you're probably right.
It's not, especially when the words spotting and leakage are involved.
What else are you adding to the list? Hand lotion.
No, you have some already.
Think I'm gonna need my own private bottle.
Ew! Yeah.
Well, you're the one who said my dick was gonna be flying solo.
I did not tell you to foam the runway.
Ew.
Go see Colleen.
Oh, I'm going to see Colleen.
I am going to see Colleen right Hi.
How How was your sandwich? Hey.
What the hell you doing? What's it look like? I'm working.
Oh, by the way, I own the joint.
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
You own this joint? Yeah.
Somebody at Eddie's law firm found out he didn't have a liquor license and threatened to have him disbarred if he didn't dump the joint, so me and Mick took over.
You and Mickey own the bar? Yeah.
Cash on the barrel.
Me and Mick, And I still got the shotgun under the bar, so someone tries to take the place away from me, I'm gonna give them a shot on the house, buckshot.
You guys, do you think it's a really good idea for two alkies to own a bar? There wasn't another hobby you guys could take up? Uh, I can't fight fires anymore.
I gotta do something to keep my life interesting.
You know, try yoga, Pilates, goddamn Facebook.
I can't do that stuff, because I'm a heterosexual, a heavily armed heterosexual.
Yeah.
Wouldn't know it by that shirt.
There she is.
Hey, honey.
Hey.
Hey, grab your shit.
We're going home.
What do you mean she's going? She's going home.
She's got three hours left.
Her shift is over, all right? Listen, it's a brilliant system? Oh, really? All AA all the time, day and night.
Uh-huh.
Hey, it's no sense in denying that the booze is out there.
The entire staff is in the program.
Everybody watches out for everybody else.
Nobody skims off the top.
Nobody drinks up the inventory.
Whole place is on the up and up.
Mm-hm.
Besides, Colleen's sponsor can keep an eye on her.
Okay, that's impossible.
I'm her sponsor.
No, no.
I'm her sponsor.
No, no, no.
I'm her sponsor.
I said I'm her sponsor! Hey, keep your voice down.
Dad, no, okay, it's him.
He's my sponsor now.
Give me one good reason he shouldn't be.
I'll give you a million good reasons, but here's number one: I'm your father, okay? I said a good reason.
Listen, little girl.
I'm the one who got you sober, okay, so Dad.
What? You did your part, okay? You got me to see what I was doing to myself, but I gotta take the wheels now.
You can't be my father and my sponsor.
You have a hard enough time with the father part.
Ouch.
Okay, just for your information, one of the reasons I came down here today was because I wanted I wanted to take you to a meeting, okay? So that What? Okay.
Well, don't worry, because we have one here after closing.
What? Yeah.
The whole staff sticks around for it.
Some of the best meetings I've ever been to happen here.
We all know each other.
Plus, since we get to see on a minute-by-minute basis just how stupid everyone gets even after a couple of drinks, it's like a constant reminder of how lucky we are to be sober.
Plus, you know, people tip like crazy when they're shitfaced.
I made 300 bucks last night.
Well, maybe I'll just come down later, and join you guys No.
I'm sorry, Dad, but it's for employees only.
Plus, I don't know.
I feel kind of weird being in meetings with you.
What? No offense.
I just, I can't really open up like I can with these guys, heh.
Okay.
AA meetings in a bar.
Great idea.
I'd like to stay, but I can't, because I've got a Gamblers Anonymous meeting over at the Borgata, okay? Call me when she starts drinking, assholes.
Hi, baby.
Hey.
Hey.
Oh, you got everything? I got everything.
Great.
Kids asleep? Yep.
Look, we have to decide if we wanna know if the baby's a boy or a girl or not.
Honey, it's up to you.
What? Yeah.
Really? It's up to you.
Because with the other three kids, we got in huge fights over this, because you always wanna know, and I don't wanna know.
And then with Katy, you snuck behind my back to find out what sex she was.
Well, I knew, but this time, it's different.
It's completely up to you.
Okay.
Great.
And I gotta say, honey, you look gorgeous right now.
You always look good when you're pregnant, but this time around, you just look stunning.
Thanks.
I mean, you're just you're glowing.
Yeah? Yeah.
Hmm.
Tommy Shh.
I know.
Okay? It's, it's all right.
What's all right? I've been watching you, I've been listening to you.
I've been reading between the lines, and, uh, don't worry.
It's okay.
What's okay? If you don't wanna make love because you're worried, you know, during this particular pregnancy.
Don't.
It's okay.
I understand.
You do? Mm-hm.
You just sensed that? Sensed it.
Yeah.
Wow.
Hmm.
Okay.
All right.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Everything's gonna be fine.
I checked on Colleen down at her job.
She's doing fine.
Okay.
Everybody's in good hands.
Just like our baby.
That's right.
Yeah.
Oh, Tommy Gavin, you are really full of surprises.
I know.
I mean, you've, you've changed.
I guess so.
I like it.
Hmm.
I guess I'm not just a, uh, walking hard-on.
What's wrong? Did you talk to Sheila today? Yeah.
That's where I got the list of the, the stuff to She gave me the shopping list.
Yeah, and she told you I called you a walking hard-on in a fire helmet.
Okay.
She told me a lot of stuff.
She told me the stuff to buy and she told me that you needed tenderness and caring and, and another thing.
Sympathy.
Yes.
I thought that you had changed.
I really was believing what you said.
I'm changing.
I'm changing.
I'm I'm like an amoeba right now.
I'm just I'm gonna, I'm gonna be tender, and I am, am I not being caring? And I'm gonna do the other thing.
Showing sympathy.
Yes.
Okay, I don't know why I'm forgetting that This is real stuff, honey.
Okay.
Okay.
So, what about the sex? Well, I'm game if you are.
Of the baby.
Oh, right.
No, I'm fine with that.
Whatever.
Whatever you want.
Totally what you want.
Okay.
And what about sex? Hey, hey, I can, I can go four months.
Six.
Six months.
I can do six months.
Yeah? Yeah.
Thank you.
All right.
Okay, now scoot.
Why? Tommy, I'm getting so big, and it is so hard to sleep now.
But if you aren't in the bed, I'm gonna be more comfortable.
I really need to sleep tonight.
Sure.
All right, thanks.
And you have, uh, Wyatt duty tonight.
Okay.
He wakes up in the middle of the night, he's all yours.
You got it.
Oh! Hand lotion.
I just ran out.
Oh! Well, I just, wasn't on the list.
Just, um, kind of sensed it.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night, baby.
Hey, Col.
Hey, Boo.
What's up? Not much.
Uh, I need to talk to you.
Okay.
Come on.
Let's go.
Hey, baby, what about our shots? In a minute, douche bag.
Baby? Did you just call my girl "Baby"? First of all, she's not a baby, all right? She's a lady.
Second of all, when you address the lady, you use courtesy and some goddamn respect, all right? Third of all, will you Aah! Jeez.
Um, Col, do you think it's a good idea that you're working around all this booze and these knucklehead guys that are out there? I mean, come on.
Okay, don't worry about the booze.
I've got Mickey and Teddy here, so it's a total support system.
Plus, I'm making, like, Oh.
What about the guys checking out your ass and calling you baby? Uh, you might wanna worry about those guys just a little bit.
I'm just kidding.
Okay, babe, they're just a bunch of drunken fools.
You know what? On the subject of fools, uh Shawn, what did you do? Uh, it ain't what I did, it's what I'm about to do.
Col, will you marry me? Yes.
Yes? Yes.
Yes.
Does that surprise you or scare you? Uh, heh, fifty-fifty.
It's Okay, um, do you want some time to think it over or No.
No, I don't need any time.
I'm done with the thinking, all right? It's time for Shawn to start doing, and that's what we're doing.
Come on.
Okay.
Ha, ha.
Here you go, girl.
Let's see.
Oh, my God.
Ha, ha! Oh, okay.
Get up here.
Oh, I'm so happy.
Me too.
I am gonna make the best wife ever.
I mean, not at first maybe, but, but eventually I'm sure I'll be great at it.
I mean, how hard can it be, right? Right.
Right.
I mean, you know, these things take time to be Listen, I'm gonna let you get back to work because, you gotta get out there, make those tips, baby.
We got a wedding to pay for.
I know.
Oh, my God.
I love you.
I love you too.
Okay, bye.
There goes the bride.
Hey.
Hey.
Where is she? She's in the storage room.
Yeah, Tom, I don't know.
We got this system going, and it's It's working beautifully.
Like a charm.
I don't know what happened.
Hey.
Hey.
You two assholes have done enough damage as it is, okay? I'm gonna go get my little girl.
I'm gonna take her out the back door, try to preserve whatever dignity she's got left, and then sometime soon, I'm gonna come back here, and then I'll deal with the two of you in a manner that's just and fitting.
Just and fitting.
What do you suppose that means? It's gonna be fitting, but it ain't gonna be just.
Attaboy.
Can't take this shit without a shot.
Amen to that.
Amen to that.
My kid, another one on the way, plus Sheila.
You got a full house, brother, full goddamn house.
Nerves are gonna fray, you don't got some kind of release valve, you know.
You deserve this, Tom.
Go ahead.
Go for it.
Seriously, after all you've been through, me, the whole Damian thing.
And by the way, I think you're doing a great job with that.
Seriously.
I mean, I know you blame yourself, but don't.
You're doing great.
Honestly.
Hey, Tommy, look how peaceful she is.
She sleeps deep, Tom.
You should be doing the same.
You got the tenth anniversary coming up.
Ten years on.
Ten years of grief and anguish and blame.
Wanna face that empty-handed? Shit.
I was alive, if I made it through and you didn't, if that was Damian laying there passed out on the floor like that, you can bet your ass I'd have a jar of Jameson jammed in my good hand.
Bet your balls on that.
After the war, lived my life with a bottle in one paw and a goddamn ax in the other.
Only way to keep the Nazi demons down.
Get a good glow on.
Sit back and relax.
Hey, Tom.
Tom.
Tom.
Last call everybody.
Sweet Jesus! You know, this actually is kind of fitting.
I'm gonna go get my daughter now.
Party's over, assholes.