Brassic (2019) s07e03 Episode Script

1
DR DRE FT SNOOP DOGG:
The Next Episode ♪
RONNIE: 'The thing about life
you've got to grab it
by the fucking balls.
At the end of the day, there's
two types of people in this world.
There's the fucking losers.
And there's the fucking winners.
And Ronnie Croft
Ronnie Croft is a fucking winner.'
Satisfied?
Oh, I won't be satisfied until you
take me, right here, right now.
(GASPS)
(ECHOING) CARL: Wake up!
Wake up! (LOCK CLICKS, DOOR CREAKS)
I said wake up!
Get your things.
You're going home, you loser.
BARRETT STRONG:
Money (That's What I Want) ♪
The best things in life are free ♪
You filthy deviants,
who's ready to party like it's 2006?
2006? Fuck off! Is that
how long ago we were at school?
- Yeah.
- We're old, mate. We're very old.
Tommo, why do you need a business card?
Jesus fucking Christ. Have you not noticed,
we're balls deep in a fucking rebrand, love.
Have you not seen your mother?
She's a Bavarian beer wench. Look.
Come on, give us a jiggle.
Lovely. Too much jiggle.
Now that Ernst is a secret investor.
I've had to German the place up
a bit, ain't I?
Bring in new faces
through the door, crucially,
because I don't want to remind you,
but er
I am the man voted most likely
to be a millionaire in Year 11.
And the man that shat himself in Year 8.
- Shut up and have your shots.
- Yes!
- Cheers!
- Slainte, to your health.
(ALL TOASTING)
(EXHALES) Oh, my God, I'm so excited!
You didn't even go to our school.
(LAUGHS)
Yeah, well, a night out's a night
out, innit! Hey, is Vin not coming?
No, it's too painful, you know,
going back without Dylan.
Yeah.
- JJ!
- Mm.
What's wrong with you?
Sonny's ill, so I was just up all night.
Listen, are you sure you just
don't wanna go on your own?
This is the first night out
we've had in ages.
You promised me a good night!
Yeah, J, stop your whining
and get a bratwurst down your mouth!
Got yourself a semi. (LAUGHTER)Oh!
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
- Fuck me.
Fuck thee right off out of it!
- No, have you told him we're here?
- No, it wasn't me.
Why didn't you tell me
that you was in town.
- Because why would I?
- Why would she?
(LAUGHTER)
- You wouldn't. You wouldn't.
- Do you know what?
I'll just be happy
to accept my bag of gifts,
and I'll be on my fucking way, OK?
- What are you on about?
- Come on, Erin.
It's Ronnie Croft's
39th voyage around the sun.
(SINGSONGY) Yeah,
it's Ronnie Croft's birthday today.
So me and you, why don't we go out,
we'll have a nice little dance,
we'll paint the town blue. Come on.
- Fine. Fine.
- No. Erin.
- It's his birthday.
- A key component
of going back to your old school
and proving to everyone
that you are
in fact now a very, very big dog
is to not bring a
(INHALES) cunt like
Ronnie Croft with yer.
Whoa, wait. What do you mean
you're going back to school?
- Why you going back to school?
- It's a school reunion.
Right, technically,
he did go to that school,
so he is allowed to go.
- I'd just rather he didn't.
- Erin!
But listen to me now, right
you do not embarrass me tonight.
When have I ever embarrassed you?
BLONDIE: Heart Of Glass
- Has it always been this shit?
- What is that smell?
That, Ashley, is Tippex and semen -
the scent of youth.
- Let's. Get. Smashed! Come on, JJ!
- What? Sugar.
Come on!
- Hey, that's
- Hello.
Ashley Dennings, as I live and breathe.
Or should I say
Hawley's answer to Marlon Brando?
(CHUCKLES) Mrs Waif.
My old drama teacher.
How art thou? (CHUCKLES)
Come on, let's have a drink. Come on.
All right.
(MICROWAVE DINGS, 'ALBATROSS' PLAYS)
WOMAN: And when your pastry
is all golden and tight over your meat,
reach in and slide her out
of the oven.(GROANS)
(SNIFFS) (SINGSONGY) Sickness! Fuck me.
- DAVEY: Vincent.
- Whoa, yer fuck!
Fucking hell! Christ.
Amish Fagin.
That was really fucking unkind.
I mean, what am I
fucking gonna do now, there?
Well, you pick it up, and you eat it.
The world is on fire, Vincent.
Humanity has gone to shit.
And we don't need you
wasting good pies, now, do we?
No.
Now, be a good boy,
and grab us a couple of forks.
There's been a development with Kittens.
JUNIOR SENIOR: Move Your Feet ♪
So after the buyout, me and the wife
decided to up sticks
half our time here,
half our time in New York.
Oh, yes, New York.
I'm er I'm always over there
Really? Which bit?
Just er everywhere. (MUTTERS)
What about business?
Not still flogging gobstoppers?
(LAUGHTER) Oh, no.
I'm a long way past
confectionary now, sweetheart. Yes.
I actually own the Rat And Cutter
in town. Yeah. Yeah.
Also I recently acquired
a gastro establishment.
(JOLLY BRASS MUSIC)
Right, who wants another bratwurst?
Big plans. (CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES) (IRRITATED LAUGH)
I think about your performance
in Evita once a week.
Those thighs really did
tell a thousand words.
- Tell me you still perform?
- Oh, well.
I've been developing
a YouTube personality
- YouTube?
- Yeah.
With thighs like those
that body was destined
to be in a leotard,
on a stage, Ashley.
- ERIN: Tommo. Tommo!
- What, what?
- Is that Bruno Hodge?
- Ohh
Remember the nutter that set fire
to all those bins?
Mm. Oh. Smile, Erin. You don't want him
to hang rats outside your house.
(BOTH CHUCKLE NERVOUSLY)
Hello, Bruno! You all right?
No. Come on.
So that's like actual fruit, yeah?
That's all right, innit?
(MAN LAUGHS) What you saying, lad?
Fucking hell.
(YELPS, GASPS) Ah!
Ronnie!
Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
(PANTING) (MUFFLED MUSIC)
Fuck sake.
I weren't nicking anything.
(STAMMERS) I wanted to put
No. No. No. No. I don't give a shit.
I don't give a fuck.
There's nowt here, anyway. Just a
packet of ciggies and a book
on overcoming intrusive thoughts.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
- You're Declan Duggan, aren't you?
- You what?
Declan Duggan. (MOUTHING)
Harper Long. We used to sit next
to each other in food technology.
No, I'm Declan D
Yeah. That's me. Yeah.
I er I heard
you're really successful now.
- Hedge fund manager or summat?
- I'm a hedge fund manager, yeah.
There's just hedges all over
the gaff. I trim 'em, I water them.
I kind of just like tend to them
et cetera, and so on, basically.
- That's really impressive.
- Thank you very much.
I love a man
who can manage a good hedge.
(YELPS)
(GASPS) Oh, my fucking God.
This is suddenly the best birthday
of all time. (GROANS)
Meet me in the science lab, ten minutes.
(GASPS)
(FAINT MUSIC) (SOFTLY) Fucking hell.
He's deigned
to offer a peace meeting, tomorrow, 7pm,
eighth floor of the JSB car park
in Manchester.
A car park?
Well, what did you expect, sweetheart?
Patricia's Patisserie?
She charges extra for oat milk.
All I'm saying is a car park
it doesn't feel peace-ish.
It feels a little bit
It feels a bit stabby.
Exactly.
Which is why I need you
to drive me there.
No!
Besides, that is
only the first half of my plan.
What's the second half?
(CHUCKLES)
Just in case Miss Kittens
decides to do something stupid
you're my back-up.
Oh, fuck! Now
No, dude. Christ on a fucking bike.
No! I am Zen now, all right?
Crystals and stupid shit like that. Zen.
Zen. Look, green tea.
You owe me, Vincent, you owe me!
Do you remember?
I did not save your life
just for you to be ungrateful.
Now, I'll be back tomorrow afternoon.
Just make sure that you're ready to go.
Mm.
So what about Mrs Longworth -
is she still here?
Yeah.
- She's dead too.
- BOTH: Ah.
They're all dead now. Mr Altbury.
Mr Jackson. Mr Trealty.
At least you're not dead! (CHUCKLES)
Oh, I
I'm waiting on some test results.
Oh, God.
Talking about death, I
I was sorry to hear about
Dylan's passing.
- Aw. Thank you. That's kind.
- I actually have something of his.
If you want to see.
He mapped out every major star and comet
and where they would be seen from Earth.
- Oh.
- (GASPS)
He spent nearly every afternoon
of Year 11 working on it.
Oh, so that's where he spent
most of his time that year, then?
Yeah, now I feel bad for starting that
rumour he was shagging the librarian.
- You started it?!
- Yeah.
Angela had a disciplinary hearing.
She's still got it on her record!
Oh. Sorry. Sorry.
Ah, that is special.
We submitted his chart to the
National Astronomy Society competition.
And he won. Got a star named after him!
- Aw. The Dylan Golding star.
- Hidden talents.
You should have all of this,
as the people closest to him.
Remind yourselves
just how bright that boy was.
- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Thank you.
- Thanks, yeah.
Aw. (GASPS)
Oh, yes. Well,
he really was a wonderful artist.
- Hm.
- (CHUCKLES)
- Detailed.
- Yeah, detailed, yeah. Bulbous.
- Oh, yeah. Thats it!
- HARPER: Oh, my God!
Who's your daddy? Who's your boss?!
- Yeah!
- Hit me.
Yeah. What?
- Fucking hit me.
- Hit yer?
Slap me.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- (MOANS) Harder.
- Grab my balls. Grab my balls.
- Harder! Fuck!
Ooh, fucking hell!
Have you got three hands?
('LE FREAK' BY CHIC PLAYING)
His dancing is so bad
it's making me feel nauseous.
Literally nauseous, like Ohh.
- This is the best night of my life!
- Honestly, Sugar.
Having that baby has seriously
distorted your concept of fun.
- (CHUCKLES) JJ! Let's do shots!
- No.
- Come on! Shots!
- She's like a fucking machine.
(LAUGHS) Oh, oh.
Drama teacher, eleven o'clock.
- Quarter past eleven.
- Brace yourself.
- Yeah. Half eleven.
- Yeah, I've got it, Erin.
Ashley.
You'll never believe what's happened.
Mr Gibbons, my duet partner,
has been involved in a pile-up
on the M60!
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
We practised all week.
Mrs Waif fret not.
The show will go on.
Really? Show me my mark!
OK. This way. Thank you.
Go on, Ashley.
That woman is an apex predator.
(TOOTS FAINTLY)
Oh, my God.
- Apparently, he bummed a dog.
- Yeah, he bums poodles. Yeah.
Poodles. I kind of get it
with the poodles.
- Do yer?
- Yeah.
You think it's, like,
the curly hair and that?
Oi, oi! It is you!
It's Runty Ronnie! I thought that
was you earlier, scurrying off!
(LAUGHS)
How's it going, Runty?
It's Declan, actually. And he's
way more successful than you, TJ.
You think this is Declan? No!
No, this is Ronnie fucking Croft!
(CHUCKLING)
Been telling porkies? Always was
a little bullshitter.
Fuck off
TJ, yeah? Just fuck off.
- What?!
- I said fuck off, TJ.
- Oh, you look like you wanna hit me.
- I wanna hit you, yeah.
- Then fight me.
- Yeah.
- Do you want to fight me, Runty?
- No.
- Fuck off! (LAUGHS)
- Oh, fuck me.
Someone's had a bit too much to drink!
Ronnie!
- Fuck!
- Sorry, TJ.
('HOT IN HERRE' BY NELLY PLAYING)
Oh, you fucking c
Oh, you fucking (SIGHS)
Fucking cunt!
Tough night?
Why do men have to be fucking dickheads?
TJ fucking Thompson.
He's been the bane of my life.
Bullied me from fucking day one, man.
But it's not like
he didn't get enough out of me
when we was at school.
He used to lock me
in the fucking basement every day!
I know how you feel, pal.
I was bullied here too.
I came here tonight to confront
the dickhead who made my life hell.
Fucker didn't turn up.
Waited years.
Just wanted to fight back.
Eh! That's it. That's it.
Fight back.
Fucking fight back, for once.
I wanna f Do you know what,
I'd fucking kill him if I could.
I f
But you can't, can you?
You've got a motive.
Everyone'd know it was you.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, well,
everyone Yeah, of course.
Ronnie Crofty! Blame Ronnie Croft.
Maybe I should do it for you?
I was in the year above.
No-one would know it was me.
Hey.
I could get TJ
and you could get mine.
Hey, wouldn't it be good,
to just fucking win?
You know what, you're fucking right,
there. You're fucking right, there.
That's it. It's about
winning fucking once, innit?
It's a fucking great plan, that, you.
MRS WAIF: (ON PA) Class of 2006!
What a night we've had, eh!
And I've just had some good news
from the hospital about Mr Gibbons.
No internal bleeding.
SUGAR: Woo!
And stepping in for him
tonight, I just want you to
put your hands together
for the most amazing
Ashley Dennings!
(FAINT APPLAUSE) (LIGHTS CLANK)
(SOFTLY) Oh, fuck this.
Yeah. Bravo.
('DON'T TOUCH ME THERE'
BY THE TUBES PLAYS) Oh, baby.
Move closer to me.
Place your chest against mine.
Feel my heart beat!
Oh, baby. I love how that belt fits.
The way it hangs so low.
So low on your hips, my darling.
I want you so.
Your body gives me such a thrill
as it leans against mine.
- I love how it feels
- Oh, God!
..as you lean against mine.
BOTH: The smell of burning leather
As we hold each other tight
As our rivets rub together
Flash of sparks into the night
Darling, if you really care for me
Let me say it now
Don't touch me there
(LAUGHS) Don't touch me there
Don't touch me there
Don't touch me there ♪
(FAINT MUSIC AND SINGING FROM INSIDE)
(GASPS)
Yes. Yes. Yes. Morning. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
All the fucking gang's here, yeah?
No?
(MUTTERS)
What? What? Oi!
What are you playing at?
Is he becoming a regular fixture now?
I never agreed to that.
Oh, my God, have you heard?
Apparently, that TJ Thompson
never made it home last night.
They think something's happened
to him. They found a bloody trail!
You know, like a trail of blood.
(MUSIC DISTORTS)
(ECHOING) I could get TJ,
and you could get mine.
(DOOR OPENS) ERIN: Fucking hell!
What you doing?! (DOOR CLOSES)
Right, do you know TJ? He's
gone fucking missing.
- Has he?
- Yep.
What's it got to do with you
OK, I was talking with this
fella last night, and I was saying
I wanted summat bad
to happen to TJ, like (EXHALES)
- Right.
- He goes, 'I'll do that for yer.
But you've gotta do summat
to some fella for me.'
For me. What are you talking about?
- What fella?
- I don't fucking know!
But I'm now thinking
he's fucking done summat.
He's probably waiting for me
to go and do summat for him
in return of the expectation
of fucking
No. No. No, Ronnie, think about it.
No-one expects anything from you.
Yeah. (EXHALES) Yeah.
You'd have to be nuts, wouldn't ya,
to ask me to do summat for ya?
Yeah.
Erin, you do make me feel better,
like, a lot of the time.
All right.
- Yeah.
- OK, go on.(MUTTERS)
- Don't worry, we weren't shagging.
- Right.
- We're just
- Stop saying weird shit like that.
Oh. Good morning, all.
I'm going to need all of you
down at the station
to discuss last night and anything
you know about TJ Thompson.
(TENSE MUSIC)
- Erin Croft?
- Yeah.
Come with me.
(SOFTLY) What's going on? Just ask.
(WHISPERS) Fucking hell.
Right, I'll be
I have to sign in. Ronnie Croft.
If that's his real name.
Oh, it is.
He's literally in here all the time.
- Theft. Drunk and disorderly.
- Yeah.
- Affray.
- Yeah. Wasn't charged, though, was I?
- Fuck sake.
- Harper? Harper?
Oh, fuck me.
Last night,
all that fucking drunken chat,
about how we wanna get TJ fucked up.
Cos I'm on, like,
my final fucking warning here.
Oh, aye, yeah, of course.
OK, so we've got f
fuck all to do with that shite?
A drunken mouth speaks a sober
heart, Ronnie. We all know that.
(GASPS)
He's still alive, just incapacitated.
For now.
I didn't have anything to do with
it. This is you - a one-man show.
What about the bit
where you said you'd kill him?
No, cos you're just putting words
in my fucking mouth there.
'Do you know what,
I'd fucking kill him if I could.'
- Now what?
- Oh, Ronnie.
You really think I didn't make a copy?
- You made a fucking copy, didn't ya?
- See, here's the thing.
You're gonna do your end of the bargain,
cos that's what's fair, isn't it?
I got yours, and you're gonna get mine.
I've waited a long time
for my vengeance, Ronnie.
And if you don't do it, then
well, that recording's gonna go
straight into the inbox of Carl Slater.
- You're a fucking psychopath.
- (CHUCKLES)
And you're a fucking loser.
I've done you a favour.
I'm the only person
to ever do anything for you.
Why do you think that is?
It's cos no-one cares about you, flower.
KINGS OF LEON: Closer ♪
So, you're welcome.
Hey, you keep schtum
..and I'll see you outside, cocker.
(MUTTERS)
Fuck.
So.
Good night last night? (EXHALES)
(MUTTERS)
I'm sure I saw a bit of a row
between you and TJ.
Er No. No.
A little tiff by the punch bowl?
No.
Interesting, because
- do you know what I'm thinking?
- Is it about bumming a dog?
(MUSIC FADES)
I think last night, you snapped.
I think after the reunion
you decided to get your own back
after TJ humiliated you.
No.
I know you've got
something to do with this.
I'm on to you, Ronnie.
(EXHALES)
- Well?
- What do you mean?
I didn't fucking say anything, OK?
Good boy. Smart move.
I just want this over with.
Right, OK, then.
So who do you want me to get?
Vincent O
Neill.
(WHISPERS) Oh, for fuck's sake.
Shit.
Right, are you sure you mean
fucking Vinnie?
He's not a bad lad, you know?
He's a fucking dick, but he's soft.
He's soft. He's like fucking
heavily tattooed margarine.
You don't know what he did to me!
It was 2006.
Year 11.
('LAST NITE' BY THE STROKES PLAYING)
JJ. (CHUCKLING)
Vincent. Dylan. Quiet, please,
or I will send you out.
'It was a particularly hot day,
and Mrs Sklode was looking
..sublime as always.
So I rushed to tend to myself.
When I heard a voice.
The voice of an angel.'
ALLURING VOICE: Bruno? Are you OK?
You should be in my room right now.
(MOANS)
- Is that you, Mrs Sklode?
- Yes, it's me.
Oh, Bruno. You naughty boy.
You really shouldn't be doing that
without my help! (MOANS)
'It was the most profound
sexual experience I've ever had.
And it was all a lie.' (LAUGHTER)
You naughty, naughty boy, Bruno, lad!
(SOUND ECHOES AND DISTORTS)
And I've been haunted by that voice
ever since, Ronnie.
- Just watch the road, mate.
- I've lost all confidence.
The few times I did get with a girl,
I couldn't focus.
I can't even get hard any more, Ronnie.
Oh. (HORN HONKS)
- And it's all because of Vincent
- (SOFTLY) Fuck!
..O Neill, and the way his
his tongue danced on those vowels.
Now, here's what I want you to do.
I want you to film him
wanking.
(STAMMERS) Why?
That's right, I want Vincent O'Neill
with his todger out.
And let's see how he likes having
his personal preferences broadcast.
Eh? Eh? (HORN HONKS)
Yeah.
- There you are.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
What is this stinky vibe
you're bringing in here?
I know this sounds ridiculous,
but I think our Ronnie is about to
do something really fucking stupid.
Last night, he got talking to
someone and made this drunken deal
about getting revenge on TJ Thompson.
- And now TJ's missing.
- Exactly.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Since when've we
started bandying around words like revenge?
I mean, it's a bit Agatha Christie,
isn't it?
It was just a drunken chat,
was it not? He didn't actually do it.
Well, the deal was made
with Bruno Hodge.
- Ooh.
- I've just seen Ronnie getting into his car.
- Oh, God.
- I think he's taken TJ as leverage.
Until Ronnie does whatever fucked-up
thing Bruno wants him to do.
Right. Yes. No, I hear you.
And I very, very much
am trying me best to care.
- But obviously, it is Ronnie, in't it?
- Yes. Yes.
(EXCLAIMS) Tommo, it is Ronnie!
But he's still my fucking brother.
I don't want Carl Slater pinning it
on him cos he's an easy target.
- Yeah, OK. What do you want us to do?
- I think we should go Bruno's house.
We can start there
and work out where Bruno's put him.
(INTERCOM BUZZES)
He's not bloody in.
(INTERCOM BUZZING)
WOMAN: (ON INTERCOM) Hello?
Hello there. This is
Dawson's Plumbings And Fittings.
Your landlord's called us to say
you can't access your water meter.
- The thing about the water meter
- (INTERCOM CHIMES)
- Et voila.
- Well done!
OK.
- Avanti.
- Yeah.
- Watch out, lads, I need a run up.
- Just try the handle.
Oh. Would you look at that.
There we go.
Come on.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Oh!
ALL: What the fuck?
VINNIE. Shit. (CURTAIN SLIDES)
What the fuck?! Get the fuck!
- (GROANS)
- Ronnie. Get the fuck out!
Unbelievable! Do you know what I'd like?
To be able to come home and not be
accosted in my own fucking house!
You accosted me,
fucking Kevin Accostner.
How have I fucking Kevin Accosted
you if you're in my fucking cupboard?
I wandered in. I comes in.
I think, 'How's my mate Vinnie doing?'
No, you didn't. You're just
so full of fucking shit. Ronnie.
Why would I be mates with a cunt
like you? You're hard work. Fuck off.
I kind of wish
people'd stop saying that, mate.
Cos it's fucking getting to me
a little bit.
I get it. No-one fucking likes me.
Thought you were meant to be all
about the mental health stuff now.
Right. All right. Fair enough.
Yeah. I'm so Yeah. I'm sorry.
- There we go.
- Tell me what's going on?
Can I have a little film of you
having a masturbate, please?
What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?!
No, you can't film me
having a fucking wank!
- Vin. Vin.
- Get out, Ron.
What if I just
give you a little helping hand?
Weird. No, Ronnie. Dude.
Take it as fucking no, dude!
Just do it. Just do it.
My willy's come out, you!
Ooh, hello, am I interrupting something?
- Nothing major to be honest.
- Are you ready to go, Vincent?
- 100%. Can't wait to get out of here.
- (SOFTLY) OK, please.
- No, weird. All of it. Disturbing.
- I'm not doing
- I am gonna get
- Get the fuck out, dude!
- Vin. Oh, fuck.
- He told you to get out.
- So fuck off.
- Is he fucking about?
- He said fuck off.
- Is that a real gun?!
- Yes. (SIGHS)
- Fuck me.
- Get your coat. It's cold out.
- All right.
You look well without that beard.
- JOHNNY CASH: Wheel Of Fire ♪
- Hurry up, Vincent.
I cannot be late. Kittens will see
this as a slight. Do you capiche?
- (NOISY CLUNKING)
- Oh, shit.
Oh, no.
What's happening? Why have you stopped?
Why have you stopped? I'm gonna be late.
I don't fucking know, dude. It's
making a noise.
(ENGINE SPLUTTERS)
(YELLS) You had one job!
One fucking job! That was the deal.
Yeah, and he fucking
He said He said no.
He said no, Bruno,
so what do you want me to do?
Force a man to have a fucking wank?
So just fucking take me to TJ now,
or I'm gonna go full-on
fucking Ronnie Croft.
All right.
- I'll take you to him now.
- I'll get in the car, then.
Respect.
There's no fucking reception.
- Piss!
- Fuck.
What are we gonna do, sweetheart?
(THUNDER RUMBLES) Oh. Oh.
- Argh. It's that fat rain.
- Can this day get any worse?!
Oi, oi. You all right?
Do we look all right?
Well, any ideas?
Yeah. The alternator
can't return power to the battery.
It's fucked.
Fucking hell.
Going to town if that helps.
- Mm.
- Well
(MUMBLES)
Listen. If you wanna make that peace
meeting, we have to go with them.
(GROWLS)
Just don't breathe a word
about what we're up to.
And if you need to mention Kittens,
then
say the word 'doggies'
or 'puppies'. Puppies.
- Nice. Puppies. We'll do that.
- Are you in or out?
In.
It's terrifying.
The inner workings
of a bona fide fruitcake.
There's no-one here, lads.
I've checked everywhere.
There's nothing here, just a load of
creepy old bric-a-brac, but I feel off.
I feel like there's someone watching me.
No, settle, petal.
All right, Ashley, look.
In the immortal words of Tiffany
'I think we're alone now' You see?
There's no-one here. Don't worry
about it. We are absolutely alone.
Everything is completely fine.
(ALL YELLING)
VINNIE: So what are you two up to, then?
Oh, we got a big job.
But I can't tell you what it is yet.
Yeah, cos we don't know what it is yet.
It's for my uncle, though,
and he won't disappoint.
- What about you two?
- We are off to see a puppy.
Puppy? Oh, what kind of puppy?
One that does as it's told.
Oh, shit. (TYRES SCREECH)
Fuck!
- Get the fuck out of road!
- Fay, don't shout at her! She's old.
Well, just hang on.
Are we not gonna fucking stop for her?
- No.
- Come on.
Dude, it's an old lady
in the middle of the road.
- It's pissing it down.
- Vincent. I cannot be late.
- It's fucking biblical!
- Oh, fine.
Fuck-ety fine. Pick her up.
Pick the bloody damsel up.
The more the bloody merrier.
Just hurry the fuck up.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
This better be quick.
Thank you so much for stopping.
Hey, you're all right, love.
Don't worry about it.
Listen, where are you headed?
Are you going back to Hawley?
Oh, no.
I'm going home to surprise
my boyfriend in Manchester.
- But I missed the bus.
- (LAUGHS) Yes.
You minx. We're going that way.
We'll drop you.
- Really?
- Really?!
What about the puppies, Vincent?!
- It's on the way.
- Yeah, well, it better be.
My uncle hates people being late.
(SIGHS)
- (SOFTLY) Oh, fucking hell.
- What's up, cocker?
It's just the school basement.
I just did what
you wanted me to do, Ronnie.
I just did what TJ used to do to you.
Or we could keep him down there?
No. No, no, no, no. We've got to erm
We've got to go
We've got to go and get him.
You're the boss, Ronnie Croft.
(SOFTLY) Oh, fuck it.
(DOOR SLIDES OPEN)
Oi! What on earth
is she doing in there? Hm?
I mean, did she expire mid-excretion?
She's old, isn't she? It just
takes a bit longer, don't it?
Well, she's been at it
20 fucking minutes.
- (SIGHS)
- And 'en route', my arsehole.
This is making me very late
for my meeting.
All right, chill out. We're late too.
Anyway, I thought
you were going to see a puppy.
Yes, I am. A very important puppy.
Right, come on. We're ditching her.
In the van, chop chop.
Er No. We're not ditching her
in the middle of nowhere.
Well, fetch her, then.
All right. Fucking hell.
- Oh, here she is.
- Oh.
Hello, my dear.
I do hope we're not rushing you.
Thank you so much for this.
- You've all gone out of your way.
- Oh, no, no, not at all.
(LAUGHS) (GASPS)
You know, you've got beautiful eyes.
I can tell there's a kind man in there.
Nobody's said that to me before.
But you're lonely, aren't you?
My brother died.
I've known grief too.
But you have to let it go.
Right, well.
Enough of this little interlude, hm?
We'd better get you delivered
to your sweetheart.
(CHUCKLES)
Right. Here we are.
Let's see how he likes it.
(TJ WHIMPERING)
(WHIMPERS) Oh, fuck.
(SOBS) What the fuck is wrong with you?
JOY DIVISION: Shadowplay ♪
(GRUNTS) Fucking hell!
(SOBS)
You two need to spend
some quality time together anyway.
(DOOR SLAMS, LOCK CLICKS)
Fuck!
..where all roads meet
waiting for you
(PHONE CHIMES)
To the depths of the ocean
where all hope sank searching for you
I was moving through the silence
without motion ♪
ASHLEY: She does look a bit like him.
I don't fucking know, mate.
All nans look the same to me.
No offence, love.
There you go, Margaret.
Oh, lovely.
Right, we best get going.
- Hm.
- Yeah.
Shall we?
I don't want this flavour!
Oh, I'm sorry,
that's the only flavour you've got -
BRUNO: Well, shit in your hands
and clap them too.
- Argh!
- Bruno? Is that you?
- Where is he?
- (THROUGH SPEAKER) Up here.
Oh, I can see you all.
You think you can
just break into my flat, do you?
- Well, I tell you what.
- Bruno.
- I don't want this pea soup.
- Fuck.
It's full of fibre, Nan.
It's good for your bowels.
Yeah!
You need to pack it in. And you need
to leave my brother out of this.
I was offering your brother
a chance for vengeance.
All those years of being locked up
in the school cupboard by TJ.
Years of being bullied
and humiliated by him.
- And he still doesn't want revenge.
- What are you on about?
What, our Ronnie was getting bullied?
(SCOFFS) Come on, it's not exactly
a fucking plot twist, is it, Erin?
It's Ronnie. Ronnie! Ronnie! (LAUGHS)
Now, listen up, and listen close.
You're gonna bring Vincent O'Neill
to the school.
And if I get a whiff of the police
I'll burn the whole thing down
with Ronnie inside.
(LINE CLICKS)
- Not ideal.
- No, we don't want
It's not ideal, is it?
(TJ MOANS AND WHIMPERS)
Fucking shut up.
Help! Help! Someone help me!
- Someone, please.
- They're not gonna fucking hear you.
And how the fuck do you know, Runty?!
- What?
- Help!
- What was that?
- How would I know?
Because you used to fucking
lock me in here every day.
Yeah, and then
you went and cried about it
to go-go-gadget fucking psychopath
out there,
and now we're both gonna fucking die!
You fucking bastard!
- Fuck off!
- You fucking c
SAM COOKE: Bring It On Home To Me ♪
We are really late, Vincent.
Has he text back?
Yes. Oh.
Erm He's saying
we're doing it next week.
It's probably for the best, innit?
Maybe it is, Vincent. Maybe it is.
Hm. Well, at least Mabel will
get lucky tonight. (PHONE CHIMES)
(TUTS) Oh, shit, look at all them.
Give me a minute.
(SIGHS) Right. (CLEARS THROAT)
- Oh, it's your Uncle J.
- What?
Says job's been moved to next week.
'Same time, same car park.'
(SIGHS)
I don't know, Fay.
It all just feels a bit dodgy.
No, don't worry. Listen.
My uncle's the big fucking cheese.
Right?
- No, honestly.
- Right.
- This'll be good for us.
- All right.
It will, it'll be good for us. OK?
ERIN: (ON PHONE) Vinnie?
We're at Sugar's. Where are you?
- What the bloody hell's going on?
- It's Ronnie. He's in trouble.
Course he fucking You know
he's been round my gaff this morning,
trying to get me to wank off
in front of him?
What?
Vincent, Tommo here. What kind of wank?
What kind of fucking question
is that? There's only one wank, dude.
Come on, love, there's posh.
On your side. Exotic.
Thrust. Reverse thrust.
Cat-cow, that were bigger in the '80s
that one, obviously
- frutti tutti. Malevolent.
- OK.
All right. Vinnie, listen,
he's been set up by Bruno Hodge.
Bruno took TJ, and now he's keeping
them both hostage at the school.
He's obsessed with you.
It's really weird.
- He wants to talk to you.
- Oh, that's fantastic news.
- Shall I see you there, then?
- Oh!
And your classic spit-and-polish.
- Shut up, Tommo!
- Obviously.
- Beginner's one that, in't it?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Entry level.
- I know it well.
- You fucker!
- Get off!
What what, I tell a couple of
jokes and pull a couple of pranks,
- and you want me fucking dead?
- I didn't
I didn't say dead. (PANTING)
- I heard the recording.
- TJ, I was fucking angry.
Cos you pulled the same shit yesterday
you did on the first day of school,
then every fucking day after that.
It was just fucking kids' stuff, Ronnie.
We're not kids any more, are we?
I'm a fucking person.
(SOFT, MELANCHOLY MUSIC)
I'm a fucking real person. (SOBS)
I'm not just some fucking
runty little fucking
smelly fucking
shit that everyone
can just fucking kick about
and smack around the head, and
fucking have a go at all the time.
It's all the fucking time!
(SNIFFLES) And I know why they do it.
I do, and that's the most annoying part.
It's cos I am a liar.
I am a bullshitter.
But if you've been told
that since day one
(SNIFFLES)
..that you're fucking nothing,
that you're a piece of shit,
by everyone, all the fucking time
then you're gonna start
believing that, aren't ya? (SOBS)
And if you start believing that,
that's what you're gonna be, innit?
- I just wanna point out
- What?
the reason I locked you
in that cupboard on day one
is cos you nicked my fucking wallet.
- Did I?
- Yeah, you did.
Must have forgot about that bit.
And the nickname
..it's probably the smartest thing
I ever come up with.
And it just stuck.
I'm sorry.
- Hey.
- What?
I'm sorry.
Here.
- I'm sorry.
- All right.
All right.
Right. Fuck this.
- Right. Shall we get out of here?
- (GROANS)
- It's a bit
- Oh!
- Do you suffer with your back?
- Oh, yeah. When it gets cold, man.
It's just me hips, me.
Go on, you go and twat the door
down, or something.
I'm fucked. I'm fucked.
You do it. You do it.
Hello, guys. I'm sorry.
- Where have you been?
- I got stuck with an old lady
about 60 miles away.
- It's a fucking long story.
- Right, come on. Come on.
Can you smell petrol?
- Where is he?
- I don't know. Oh, Christ.
I'm right here.
Anyone moves, I'll drop the lighter,
and this place'll go up in flames.
- Oh
- Oh, no.
Now.
Hello, Vincent.
Bruno. Bruno, listen.
I can tell that you're really
fucking upset, dude. I can tell.
- Upset?
- Yes.
Oh, no, I'm not upset.
- I'm enjoying this.
- Right.
I've waited years for this moment
to see the fear in your eyes.
Right, it's working. I just
I wonder whether there might've been
a bit of a misunderstanding gone down.
I don't know what you're after?
- It's you I want.
- Right.
Now, take all your clothes off.
What the fuck is wrong with everyone?!
Take your fucking clothes off,
or I'll do something you'll regret!
I'll see this place go up in flames,
I swear down.
I believe you, Bruno.
I believe you. Why the fuck do you
want me to get me kit off for you?
Cos you must pay.
For fucking what, Bruno?!
Oh!
- You don't even remember, do you?
- Man, I don't remember shit.
I don't remember anything.
I'm fucking stoned all the time.
(ALL AGREE)
Well, let me
refresh your fucking memory, then!
- Mm.
- 2006 in the toilets?
You pretended to be Mrs Sklode.
Humiliated me.
I remember it. I remember it.
It weren't me, though, dude.
It was Dylan.
I swear to God, I can't do voices.
- ASH: No. Bad.
- He can't.
- He can't.
- He was good with voices.
It wasn't
- It wasn't you?
- No!
Well, where the fuck is he?
Where the fuck is Dylan?!
- He wasn't here last night.
- He died.
Well Well, someone pays.
Someone has to pay for what
I've gone through, all my life!
Do you know
how many flaccid nights I've had,
because of you
and your stupid fucking mate?
- Can't imagine.
- Oi.
- Come on.
- Lot of information, in't it?
Well, it's too bad. Cos I'm not
leaving here until we're even.
I wanna be seen!
(DOOR BANGS OPEN) Bruno!
Oh. Right on cue.
If it isn't Runty Ronnie.
Oi! Only I get to call him that.
You fucking You stop now.
Right, Ronnie. Ronnie, don't.
There's petrol all over the floor.
- Someone must pay!
- Enough!
Get a bite of this, ya mad fuck!
(ALL OOHING) VINNIE: Shit!
Oh, fuck!
(IMITATES MISS SKLODE) Hold up!
Yeah, you.
Sexy Mr moustache guy. Hold up.
- Aha! Go on, Ronnie.
- Fucking yes!
- Nice one.
- See that?
- Well in, dude.
- Lovely.
Fuck you.
(SPITS) Dude.
- Get in.
- Good work.
- Check you haven't killed him.
- I'll check he's alive.
Oh, here we go. Right, now.
It's only a mock-up, right,
it's only a mock-up.
I got Liz to do a draft
of the poster. What do we think?
Come on, you're a crowd pleaser.
Mrs Waif were right.
- What the fuck?!
- Lovely. Right?
(EXHALES)
- You all right, Erin?
- You all right?
Mm.
(MUSIC FADES) I just
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for
just causing this much
of a shit stink again.
- I just
- It's not your fault.
For once. (CHUCKLING)
- Why didn't you tell me?
- About what?
Why didn't you tell me
you were being bullied?
- Come on, Erin.
- Ronnie, I would've done something about it.
I wasn't gonna do that.
I couldn't do that.
- Ronnie.
- With all the other shit I put you through.
- You're still my brother.
- Mm.
All right, granted, yeah,
you were a massive pain in the arse.
- I used to be a dick.
- No, you still are.
- I still am.
- You still are.
- Right.
- But you're still my brother.
- Yeah.
- And I still love you.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
It's just I don't wanna be
a fucking nutter any more, Erin.
I wanna be the brother
you can be proud of, you know?
I really do, and I fucking will be.
KRISTINA TRAIN: Dark Black ♪
- All right?
- Come here.
- (RATTLING)
- Ow. Ow.
- What?
- What's in your hand?
- Ronnie, what is in your hand?
- It's a fucking cash tin. Right.
I was in the Headmaster's office.
I wasn't gonna leave it.
- Minding it.
- Yeah.
- You were minding it.
- So now I'll keep hold of it.
- All right.
- I fucking love you, Erin.
I fucking love you.
(SIGHS) Christ.
(CHUCKLES) What are you doing?
Dylan's got a piece of that sky,
do you know that?
- Has he?
- Mm.
- How come?
- He won a competition.
He had a star named after him.
Well, you kept that fucking quiet,
didn't you? An entire fucking star.
- (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
- Christ.
Can you see all this, you arse of a man?
Floppy haired twat.
Christ. It better be
that bloody bright one there.
- That's a plane, Vin.
- Yeah.
I miss him.
- Me too.
- (GROANS)
Dark black
Is the colour of my life ♪
FRANKIE KNUCKLES: Your Love ♪
Me and my husband, Vernon
we met at this night
that Curtis started.
I want us to have
one last rave together.
(WHOOPING) I'm hearing noises
about an illegal rave.
CURTIS: I can't do it without
my old mate Matty Ravenscroft.
- Nobody move!
- I know a venue.
- Come 'ed.
- There'll be no rave happening here.
(SIRENS WAIL)
(MUSIC STOPS) (SIREN WAILS)
Sub extracted from file & improved by
I've got so much trouble in my mind
I've got so much trouble in my mind
I've got so much trouble in my mind
Give me the strength to carry on
Give me the strength to carry on
Cos everything I got
Is just about gone
And I think about it ♪