Nurse Jackie s07e05 Episode Script

Previously on "Nurse Jackie" You may not touch patients, and just so nobody mistakes you for a real nurse, lose the blue scrubs.
There's one plan we haven't made.
- Oh, my God! - You don't want this? I didn't say that.
I got a call from a headhunter in Boston, and I told them my future is here with my prospective fiancée.
I knew 'cause I made the arrangements.
I want you to have the future that you deserve, and it's not me.
- All Saints is about to be sold.
- Are you kidding me? Matt: Good-bye, All Saints, hello, luxury condos.
You are looking at the Upper East Side rep for Illyria.
You're a pharma-babe? We have to call your drug dealer.
Is there anything I should know about this guy? Jackie and I had little fun in the day.
Really, motherfucker? Get the fuck out of the car, buddy! Jesus! What the fuck, Eddie? No, what the fuck, Jackie?! (theme music playing) (man vocalizing) - People are looking at us, you know.
- Really? Why is that? Because we got that thing everybody wants.
A suitcase full of drugs? No, silly.
We got that love thing.
We also have a suitcase full of drugs, which is making me nervous for about eight million different reasons.
Don't you worry.
I got a guy I guarantee is gonna take this off our hands.
I also guarantee he's a guy you haven't slept with.
- You know this guy how? - Don't worry about it.
You're not the only one with a past, Jackie Peyton.
Hey, Eddie, thank you for dealing with this.
I'd do anything for you.
You know that, right? I gotta go.
Keep your head down.
Yeah.
It's very simple.
We are not gonna let them close this hospital.
We have to mobilize.
We have to get the word out.
We have to let the community know what's going on.
This is their fight too.
If we want to stop these guys, we have to get in their way.
Man, she's good when she's in charge.
I know.
Any questions, comments? Yes, Dr.
Kaufman? I heard we're getting turned into 4-million-dollar condos.
Yeah, and the developers are from, like, Norway.
There's a bunch of Norwegians up on the fourth floor right now setting up something fancy.
All right, well, keep your ears to the ground.
We will meet back here tomorrow night.
We can do this, okay? Thanks.
Hey, hey.
It's Norma Ray.
Zoey, go to my first, uh, any /AA/ diversion/pure group meeting today if you wanna - check a box or - I do, yes, check a box.
- Um, Zoey? - Someone help me out here, please? Guys, guys, guys.
- Shit.
Thor.
- Got it.
- Bathroom is right over go, go, go, go, go.
- (retching) Hey, Thor, check out this place I got in Back Bay.
It's 200 years old.
It has a fireplace and a foyer.
- You're in a good mood.
- Why wouldn't I be? Miscarriage, breakup, moving to a new city for a new job.
You've been through a lot in the past few weeks.
You can't stop the waves, Thor, but you can learn to surf.
This is me hanging ten.
I got a self-help book.
It's helping.
Does that mean you've changed your mind about a going away party? I'm ridin' waves, man.
No looking back, no party.
Oh, my God, this is really happening.
(English accent) 'Ello, Governor.
He thinks that's how they talk in Boston.
Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to Dr.
Cooper's replacement.
This is Dr.
Bernie Prince.
Many of you know him from the ICU.
I've been wanting to get down here for a long while.
Gloria: Dr.
Prince graduated from Stanford.
He did his internship at Johns Hopkins.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, but shouldn't they be moving faster? We lost him in the truck.
- How many times did you defib? - Four.
Carrie: Ooh, whoa.
Come on, man.
Come on, man.
(heart monitor beeping) I got a pulse.
(beeping stops) I lost him.
(sighs) Always wanted to try that.
- Oh, hey, beige scrubs.
- Dr.
Prince.
Hey, listen, I totally fucked my shoulder trying that precordial on our little buddy here.
- It was pretty cool, though.
- Yeah, well.
Would you mind popping it back in for me? Actually, I'm not allowed to touch patients.
I'm a doctor, not a patient.
- Come on, come on.
- All right.
Be gentle.
- (pops) - Yah! Yeah.
(chuckles) Wow, you are good.
- Mm, for a janitor.
- Well Man with Norwegian accent: Luksus International is recognized as a world leader.
We build what we love and we love what we build.
Now for the most exciting part of our presentation.
(speaks Norwegian) Woman's voice: Elegant, ease, luxury.
Introducing the Luksus residences, located in the vibrant East Village neighborhood of Manhattan.
These exceptional condominiums soothing private garden fills the courtyard area.
24-hour doorman, and steam rooms.
Prices begin at $3.
5 million.
- Yes? - It looks like a very intriguing plan, but what about public pressure to keep the hospital open? (Norwegian accent) Uh, we have a wonderful conflict resolution team that specializes in smoothing out any potential opposition.
Jesus Christ.
Shoot me now.
Man: Any other follow-ups? Jackie, you should not be here.
Um, I was just leaving Ms.
Chow.
This is for you.
Man: We have some refreshments and some brochure prospects.
You can read through the Luksus My very last tiny stitch at All Saints.
You okay? Me? I've never felt better.
You seem pretty excited about Boston.
Cooper: There's so much cool stuff up there, Zoey lobster rolls, Kennedys.
I joined a rowing club.
Head of the Charles.
There's definitely gonna be, you know, an adjustment period.
No, I don't think so.
All set, buddy.
Love that dirty water.
(Boston accent) Go park the car.
I'm wicked excited! He's cuter today, right? (intercom beeps) (over intercom) Attention, everybody.
There is new information about the hospital closing.
Tomorrow's meeting is now tonight, basement, 5:00.
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, please don't apologize.
I actually wanted to say hello.
Hello.
I have the utmost respect for your profession.
- Mopping? - (laughs) No, nursing.
You are a nurse, are you not, Jackie Peyton? Um, well, it's complicated, but, yes, technically, I am a nurse.
You are also quite a good organizer.
Okay.
I work with with the development group involved in the project.
My job is to make sure everything proceeds smoothly.
How's that going? I would very much like to expedite the reinstatement of your nursing license.
In exchange, of course, for your cooperation in ending the upset about the closing.
You want to help me get my nursing license back? Why me? You don't have bigger enemies to deal with? I am a detail person, and every detail counts.
Why don't you take the afternoon to think about it? You might need more chairs for the meeting tonight.
Just sayin'.
(sighs) (laughs) - I have a surprise.
- You do? I got us two box seats to the New York Philharmonic movie night.
Oh.
They play the themes to all your favorite movies.
Um, "Star Wars," "Jaws," "Indiana Jones.
" I mean, I think this might be the most thoughtful thing I've ever done.
Carrie I'm gonna be in Boston.
Oh, I know.
There's trains.
You don't want to go to movie night? Of course I do.
I just think it might be easier for both of us if, you know, we really don't see each other.
Yeah.
(Laughs) - I'm sorry.
- No, don't be sorry.
It was a good idea.
No, I'm sorry that I wasn't ready.
I know.
Me, too.
Paramedic: We've got three incoming, heading straight into trauma.
We have a 20-year-old male and a her car and drove onto the sidewalk.
The female was unconscious at the scene.
All three have multiple abrasions to the head, chest, and extremities.
Vitals are stable.
All right.
Here we go.
On my count: - One, two, three.
- Ok, let's go.
One, two, three.
(monitor beeping rapidly) Angus, you need to get her on the monitor.
I know, I'm trying.
Blood pressure's dropping.
She's tachycardic.
We need a second line, bloods, portable X-ray.
Now.
Angus.
Just step away.
Thor.
Jackie, get in here.
Okay, I don't give a shit about diversion, all right? And I don't think this lady does either.
Let's go.
I'm just gonna say it.
That was really fun.
I know, it was a one-time thing.
Are you going to your diversion peer group? Uh, yes, I'm on my way.
(speaking Norwegian) Jackie.
- What is that smell? - Prince: Banana.
Want a drag? Oh, of your banana-flavored electric cigarette? No, thank you.
What are you doing down here? Uh, I had a diversion peer group meeting thing.
Ah.
How'd that go? Oh, you know, you talk about yourself and then you listen to other people talk about themselves.
It's the usual.
Sounds like life.
(laughs) Thanks for jumping in earlier.
Are you kidding me? Thank you.
It was the best thing ever.
It'd be a shame if this place closed.
That woman would've died if they'd taken her to a hospital uptown.
So what are you doing hiding in the basement? Can't you smoke those things anywhere? Eh, it's my first day.
Let's be honest.
These are a little douchey.
(laughs) How long is this sentence of yours? When do you get your license back? Three months, and the hospital could be gone by then.
Oh, I heard there's this activist nurse who's fighting to keep it open.
Mm, I wouldn't bet on it.
I would totally bet on it.
Gotta have faith, Jackie.
What's the alternative? A doctor and an optimist? Hmm.
I've been called worse.
- (laughs) - Seriously, though.
If this place is closing in a few months, let's make it a fucking great few months.
Give me that thing.
There ya go.
Oh, no.
Ugh! You think that's nasty, you should try the kiwi.
(chattering, laughing) Jackie, I seriously hope you were not administering care to a patient at this hospital.
Gloria, they were short a nurse.
I made it very clear you were not to touch any patient.
If I did not touch that patient, she would be dead.
- Is that what you want? - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
It was my fault.
It's my first day on the floor.
I'm still figuring out where the forks go, if you know what I mean.
I do not.
But hear this you must be very clear about people's roles at this hospital.
You're right.
I have an idea.
Let's you and I sit down and go over all the ins and outs to ensure something like this doesn't happen again.
Say, lunch next week? Did my disciplining you just turn into lunch? You okay? Are you? Next time you guys see me, I might be hanging with Matt and Ben.
Or the Yaz.
I think it's just Yaz.
This is so weird.
Who am I gonna talk to while they're trying to do work? There are people to annoy everywhere, Coop.
I'm sure you'll find someone.
The question is, who's going to get on our nerves now? You are really leaving a hole, Coop.
Hold the frickin' phone.
You're not saying your good-byes here, are you? What the hell, guys? No one thought to plan a going-away party? We tried.
He didn't want one.
Thor's right.
I don't want a party.
Okay, well, you don't always get what you want, do ya? Give me 20 minutes.
I'm making some calls.
Nobody leave.
Technically, I am your new boss, so you have to do what I say.
Hope everybody likes meat.
I like him.
Now I don't want to leave.
You do what you gotta do, Coop.
(rumbling) (chatter) Okay, everyone! Listen up! So, we are all concerned about the rumors, and here to give us the latest update is our behind-the-scenes leader.
Hi, uh I'm I'm afraid we're wasting our time.
(murmuring) Jackie: I've done some digging, and as it turns out, the reality's not good.
The developers are way further along than I thought they were.
- Meaning what? - Meaning that it's over.
The fight's done.
We know how this stuff goes there's a whole lot of effort and very little result, and I don't know about you guys, but I got better things to do with my time.
I'm sure you do, too.
(murmuring) I'm sorry, I wish the news was better.
I thought you were gonna save this place.
What happened? Zoey, I am shoveling shit after 23 years of working my ass off in this place.
Why the fuck would I want to save it? You've come a long way in your time here, Dr.
Cooper.
All you have to do now is sign these forms and you're good to go.
That's my exit interview? - You want more? - No, no.
Ah, I guess I should turn these in ID badge, key card.
Oh, also, I borrowed something four years ago.
I'd like to return it.
You stole an otoscope from this hospital? They're great for reading the back of the TV.
Keep it.
I'm sure you will have plenty of TVs to hook up in Boston.
You're not mad at me for jumping ship? Do you know how many offers I've turned down over the years? I wish I had said yes to at least one of them.
This might be the last time I'm sitting in your office.
Yes, it might be.
- Should we hug? - You really have to ask? Sorry, you're right.
Wrong answer.
Get back here.
(laughs) You're getting out of here just in time.
(Matt in Norwegian accent) Are you supposed to be in this room? I'm just fucking with you.
It's not like Norwegians are actually scary.
That was a little scary.
(laughs) (door opens, closes) Hey, Jackie.
You're coming to my party, aren't you? Uh, no, I don't think so.
Things have just gotten a little weird.
But, uh but thank you.
Okay, well, I got you something that made me think of you.
You didn't have to do that.
Sometimes I do nice things for people who are mean to me.
(laughs) St.
Agatha, patron saint of nurses.
She kind of looks like a dude.
That's not what made me think of you.
Thanks, Coop.
There he is.
Well, have fun.
Bye, Jackie.
Guys, wait up.
Okay, Hora time, you schmucks! - (music playing) - (singing in Hebrew) (whoops) Oh, yeah, everybody sing with me.
That's right, look at the goyim doing the Hora.
Look at this guy, little schmuck.
Oh, my God, the shiksas, the shiksas doing the Hora.
(M.
C.
singing in Hebrew) Hey, ho! Hey, hey, ho, ho! Hey, hey, hey! (Laughing) (cheering) M.
C.
: Hey, where are you going? It's not over.
- Where'd the shiksa go? - Come on.
(music, singing continue) Dr.
Prince is relentless.
I have to pee.
- Wanna dance? - I always wanna dance.
Let's go! Be right back.
- Hey! - Hey! What is this? It's like an adult bar mitzvah.
Yes, but with a lot more frozen vodka.
Sounds good.
Do me a favor, shield me from Akalitus.
Oh, it's a party.
I think you'll be fine.
So where's the guest of honor? (dishes clanging) I never had sex in a samovar closet before.
- (clanging) - (moaning) - Have you? - Yeah.
Oh! Well, I'm Ukrainian.
Oh, my God.
I like doing it in front of shiny, jangling things.
(moaning) - (panting) - Wait, wait.
What? (stammers) Now you're sad? I've been sad.
I'm just good at hiding it.
Tell me how sad you are.
(pouting) I'm so sad.
- Oh - (sniffles) - I'm sad.
- (laughs) Oh.
Oh, I'm really sad.
(Moans) (singing in Hebrew) I can't get enough of this spread.
What did the guy say it was called? - Jewish guacamole.
- Jewish guacamole.
Also known as the best chicken liver west of the river.
(singing continues) I need a break.
(applause, cheering) Who's the guy with Gloria and Zoey? That's Coop's replacement, Dr.
Prince.
Everybody loves him.
- Eddie, you made it, man.
- Hey, Coop.
How you doing, Coop? Congrats, bro.
- How's the new job? - It's sales, man.
What can I say? - Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special guest - Crowd: Shh, shh.
- at Sammy's tonight Dr.
Fitch Cooper.
- (cheering) Is there a doctor in the house? You might want to tuck in your shirt.
Get up here.
- Go Sox! - (crowd booing) Obviously some Yankee fans here tonight.
I'm sorry.
Seriously, thanks for arranging this, Dr.
Prince.
I didn't think I wanted a party.
I was wrong.
Wow, this is it's really hard saying good-bye.
You guys are my people.
- We love you, Coop! - Man: That's right, we do.
I love you, too.
Thank you, Eddie.
I'm gonna miss you, man.
Wow, uh Gloria, you've been like a mother to me.
Not that I don't have enough of them already.
(laughs) Zoey I think you might be the nicest person in the world and a damn fine nurse, too.
Thor, my Viking dude! Thanks for always having my back.
Reuben, you've got a good one there.
(chuckles) Carrie.
What can I say? You changed my life.
Thank you, beautiful.
Thank you, everybody.
(cheering) Oh, wait, wait, one more thing.
Um, this might make certain people here a little uncomfortable, but there's one more person I'd like to thank.
In a lot of ways, she's probably the most important one.
She made my life a living hell most of the time.
But the truth is, she made me a better doctor.
So I guess I just want to say thank you, Jackie, wherever you are.