The Neighborhood (2018) s07e18 Episode Script

1
Thanks for coming with me.
I really needed the emotional support.
You know, I just find it ironic
that the white guy is going to see
his dad in prison, while the Black guy
is, uh
kind of free to be here.
What do you mean?
Eh, nothing.
Just an observation.
You know.
It's gotta be hard, seeing
your dad in prison, man.
It is, but, you know, I owe him.
Thanks to him, Grover's
education is paid for,
and he did take the rap for us.
Okay, will you stop saying that?
It was his rap. He
took his own damn rap.
Well, you know, I've
done everything I can
to prepare for this.
I binged every episode
of Oz, Orange is the New Black,
and the new Martha Stewart documentary.
Shoot.
I forgot to bring loosies for currency.
Where does one even obtain a loosie?
Dave, they're just loose cigarettes.
You buy a pack and you dump 'em out.
Would you look around?
Your dad is not in Sing Sing.
Okay, well, what if someone
tries to make me his bitch?
I am a good-looking man.
Hey, well, if that's God's plan,
who am I to get in the way of that?
Next.
Let's just get this over with, I guess.
What what are you doing?
I'm preparing for the cavity search.
No. This ain't Sing Sing.
I tried to tell him that.
Okay, well, I'm just trying
to follow protocol, you know?
Look, I don't want to
get thrown in the hole.
We don't have a hole.
Go through the metal detector, man.
Wow, this is a prison?
This place is nicer than
my junior high school.
Plus, I'm getting free Wi-Fi.
- Hey, son.
- Hey.
Son?
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
I I didn't know you
was here to see the Czar.
Lamar the Czar?
I'm taking it you came up with that?
It was a collaborative effort.
Have a seat, gents.
Table.
Wow, looks like the Czar's
got some juice up in here, man.
Okay. Uh
Dad
are you running this joint?
You know what they say:
To be great at something,
you have got to put
in your 10,000 hours.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Right. Okay. Well,
I brought everything you asked for.
Old photos, compression socks,
Tropical Medley Tic Tacs
You found it.
This is probably the last photo of me
and your mother together. You know,
before the trial separation.
Separation? Uh, Dad,
you walked out on us.
To attend my trial.
You know, one of my biggest regrets
while being on the outside
was I never managed
to make amends with your mom.
I tried, but she never responded.
Yeah, that's gotta be rough, man.
It's so easy to take
your family for granted.
You always think
they'll be a part of your life.
DAVE: You know what, Dad?
I'm going to talk to Mom. I mean, look,
I know it sounds silly,
but since the divorce,
I've always dreamed about us
being under the same roof again.
Well, it would have to be this roof.
Calvin, a roof is a roof.
Welcome to the block,
welcome to The Neighborhood ♪
Welcome to the hood. ♪
Oh, boy.
Your father's got that
old '70s box down.
I should've known, he's been
humming Kool & the Gang all day.
Hearing Lamar talk about his family
got me thinking about my dad, man.
- Aw.
- Yeah, and I know it's in here somewhere.
I just was, uh
- Ah, here it is.
- Let's see.
- [LAUGHS]
- What?
Look at us right there.
I miss that hairline.
All the way down to my
eyebrows. All the way there.
Dad, who's that with you and grandpa?
Oh, that's Jasper,
owner of the Yippedy-Dip.
That's the best sandwich
shop in San Bernardino.
Whenever I would get good
grades or score a touchdown,
my dad would take me there
for a celebratory Po' Willie.
Ooh, a Po' Willie?
I hope that's a sandwich, Pop.
Oh, son, it's more than a sandwich.
It's an experience.
I mean,
biting down into that crackly bread,
the juice all just running
all down your chin, man.
Oh, huh. It's still open.
Ooh. You know what? We should go.
I'll bring the bibs.
That's a good idea, babe.
You know, when was the last time
the four of us just did
something together?
Yeah.
This Saturday, family trip
to the Yippedy-Dip.
Oh.
- This Saturday?
- This Saturday is gonna be tricky.
- I'm not gonna be able to make it, Pop.
- You have to give
a 72-hour notice to Courtney
- [BOTH TALKING OVER EACH OTHER]
- Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
Don't make me make y'all go.
All right, Daddy. We'll go.
Yeah, we wouldn't miss it.
I mean only if you wanted to.
Hi, Paula. Welcome.
- Ah, Gemma!
- Oh.
- Oh, it's so good to be back.
- Yeah.
Since I haven't seen
you all for over a year.
Mom, we saw you on Thanksgiving.
Yeah. That was last year.
It was five months ago.
[LAUGHS] Oh, I guess
I'm just thinking about
how you never call me.
And how long are you staying?
[SQUEALS]
Hey, Paula. How are you?
Oh, it's so great
to see you both.
Oh, my gosh.
- Tina.
- Yeah?
You have not changed a bit.
Oh, why, thank you, Paula.
You people really don't crack.
I'm just, I'm just gonna
issue a blanket apology now
for everything she's going to say.
Oh, and Calvin. Congratulations.
On the way into town,
Dave pointed out your
new Black-owned business.
Well, it's just a business.
Oh. You don't own it?
What? No. No. Yes, yes, I own it.
- Yeah.
- Well, what am I missing?
So, so much.
Well, you know what?
I know you guys got a
long drive ahead of you,
so we're gonna let you go, all right?
- Good, we got this.
- Yeah, bye-bye.
Wait, a drive?
Oh, uh, sorry. Um
Calvin, that was
supposed to be a surprise.
Ooh, a surprise. Where?
Uh, well
Mom, I was afraid that you
wouldn't want to go with me.
[CHUCKLING] To where?
To prison, Mom.
Where Dad is.
Surprise!
This is so exciting.
I feel like I'm in one of
my true crime shows.
Wow.
I'm in a room with a murderer.
Gemma, sweety,
they don't put murderers here.
But that guy's got a teardrop tattoo.
Honey, that's just a mole.
Ooh. He should have that looked at.
That could be bad.
Paula.
Milady.
Oh, my God, it's happening.
No! Oh!
Sit down
and keep your mouth shut.
I've got things I've been
waiting 30 years to tell you,
and I finally have you someplace
where you're not gonna run away.
So, I don't suppose these are
I wonder how many loosies
the chocolates cost him.
Did you know that loosies
are just loose cigarettes?
- Ah, yes!
- Okay.
This place hasn't changed one bit.
Yeah, Pop.
Is that good?
Uh, what's that smell?
Babe, that smell is character.
Actually, I think it's
these Marlboro Lights.
Gimme that.
[SHOUTS]
I didn't finish yet.
Old Mabel, she hasn't aged one bit.
She looked like that 40 years ago?
Y'all take a seat anywhere.
- Oh, you know what
- Okay, cool.
Uh, not there.
- Uh [CHUCKLES]
- Okay.
Jasper?
It's me. I'm back.
Great to see you.
Who are you?
Percy Butler's boy.
I'll be damned. Calvin Butler.
Yes.
You know, your name is
still scrawled on the wall
next to the pay phone.
I never painted over it.
Wow. [LAUGHS]
This place has been painted?
Excuse me, uh, Mr. Jasper,
why do you have a
"C" rating in the window?
Aw, that's nothing.
The health department snuck up on me.
Oh.
I've been meaning to take it down.
Okay, but what about the "C"?
Well, if I'd have known they was coming,
I would have put the
chicken in the refrigerator.
Huh.
[CHUCKLING] Okay.
Well, uh where was the chicken?
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm not falling for that one.
Do I look like I was born yesterday?
[LAUGHS]
- Definitely not.
- Hell no.
Okay You look old and
Everyone in town
knew that you'd gone to prison.
I mean, it was years before anyone
would even give me a job.
And it was bad enough
that the boy grew up without a father.
But then puberty hit.
And who had to deal with that?
The two-hour showers,
my Glamour magazine pages
stuck together, tissues everywhere?
Mom, I feel like we're
losing focus here.
I'm the one. I'm the
one who had to do it.
Do you know how hard it is
to instill confidence
in a pigeon-toed kid
with bad skin and a weight problem?
Oh, baby,
you're so handsome now.
And do you know the worst part?
The worst part of this whole thing?
We haven't heard it yet?
When David decided to be cool,
I'm the one who had to
take him to Limp Bizkit.
Limp Bizkit!
Hey!
No one talks to the Czar like that.
INMATES: Yeah!
Do you know who this woman is?
- No.
- No.
She is the Czar's queen.
And nobody
talks to her that way, Randy.
I'm sorry.
What was that?
I'm sorry.
Czar, huh?
Kind of a big deal.
[CHUCKLES]
You notice I've been working out?
Yeah, no.
Oh, my God. Gemma, I
might have parents again.
Let's give them some privacy.
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go
scope some things out.
Please don't scope anything out.
What's up? Randy, is it?
So, what's your deal?
Aggravated assault? Drug kingpin?
Am I getting warmer? Manslaughter?
Actually, I made counterfeit Ugg boots.
Lame. God, they'll just
put anyone in prison.
[ALARM BLARING]
Lockdown! Lockdown! This is not a drill!
Remain where you are!
Hands behind your head!
They did not cover this
in the Martha Stewart documentary.
Do you think somebody
got shivved or shanked?
A lot of people think those
terms are interchangeable,
but there's a subtle distinction.
Please remain calm.
We just conducted a head count.
We're missing an inmate.
Dave, where's your dad?
Oh, damn.
This menu isn't very informative.
Well, it's food, Marty, not a Wikipedia.
When I was younger, if our parents
gave us a meal, we ate it.
Back then, we wasn't allergic to food.
We was allergic to being hungry.
Yeah, but, Pop, all these sandwiches
are just people's names, man.
The Po' Willie, the Hot Henry.
Hey, Jasper, what
exactly is a Little Jimmy?
Ah, it's the Big Betty,
but with the Jasper sauce.
Ah.
Okay, now, what is Jasper sauce?
Look, man, are you ordering or not?
CALVIN: You know what, Jasper?
My dad used to always
get us the Po' Willie,
so I want my boys to
have that experience.
So let's take four of those,
and, uh, we'll share a bone-in.
- MARTY: Okay.
- Okay.
- What's a bone-in?
- Oh, you gonna love it.
It's a chicken sandwich,
- but not one of those fake filets.
- Okay.
It still has the bone in it.
You eat the bone?
No, no, no, no. You eat around the bone.
But but it's a sandwich.
You know, I don't like your tone.
What?
Officer, my mom is missing, too.
We have to find them before
they're shivved or shanked,
which, apparently,
are two different things.
MAN [OVER P.A.]: Lockdown cleared.
Oh, my God, you found them.
What were you do
Are you serious?
Unbelievable.
- Gemma, they're back together.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, your plan worked.
So well, it's gross.
It seems that your parents
have broke quite a few rules.
I hope those three minutes
were worth 90 days.
Oh, they were.
And it was more like six minutes.
Still got it.
LAMAR: Dave?
Thank you. You made this possible.
Those, uh, Tropical Medley Tic Tacs?
They got us the keys to the medics room.
Well, I'm just happy you
guys are back together.
Hey, uh, Officer Hurst?
Do you mind taking a family photo
before you bring my
dad back to the hole?
I told you, no hole.
But, sure.
You know, Lamar,
I'm not this kind of girl.
You're gonna have to buy me dinner.
Absolutely.
In three to five years.
Um, Mr. Jasper,
we've been waiting
for quite a while now.
Yeah, man. It's been like an hour.
I didn't know y'all was in a hurry.
Next time, don't come here hungry.
[LAUGHS]
Same old Mr. Jasper,
man. Ain't that great?
No, it's a restaurant. What you
mean, "don't come here hungry"?
Wait till you get these sandwiches, boy.
- I'm telling you, boy, it's gonna be
- This better be worth it, Pop.
CALVIN: The meat, the
way the meat come off
Oh, here we go.
TINA: Oh, look at that.
CALVIN: There we go.
What up, Mabel? All right.
Uh
All right, I'm gonna
tear this Po' Willie up.
All right, bye-bye, Willie.
Um is it supposed to be this wet?
Yeah, that's the
that's the Jasper sauce.
Oh, oh.
Still not clear on what that is.
Okay.
Daddy, are you crying?
Ain't nobody crying, man.
Aw, come on, Pop.
I mean, it's
it's just that, you know,
this is the taste of my
childhood, that's all, man.
I just
I can just see myself
as a nine-year-old boy,
sitting here with my dad, you know?
So, is it good?
No, it's terrible.
- Okay.
- Yes, thank you.
And maybe it always was, but
that's not what matters, all right?
Just, it's just that
feeling of being here,
seeing my dad right here,
watching him put a dime in the jukebox
playing Kool & the Gang.
You know, I can see it right now, man.
TINA: Aw. You know what, baby,
that's so sweet.
It almost makes me want to take a bite.
I'm not, but almost.
Hey, Pop, I'm so glad I got to see
where you and Grandpa hung out, man.
You know, take your time.
I'm gonna eat these sugar packets.
Get down, get down ♪
Oh. Oh, there we go.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's what I'm talking
about, son, right there.
Let's get down right there.
Get down, get down,
get down, get down ♪
All right, I am, uh, I am
done with this sandwich.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Marty, no, no, no, no.
You got to eat all your food.
Otherwise, Jasper will go off.
Look, look, look. Throw it
over there, throw it over there.
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay, go, go, go, go.
Yeah, get 'em all.
Don't forget the bone-in.
Throw the bone out.
Jasper! Hey, boy, you did your thing.
- So good.
- So good.
- So good.
- Whoo! Jasper, so good, brother.
We gonna get on out
of here. It was delicious.
- Yeah!
- All right.
All right. [LAUGHS]
TINA: Ah, whoo!
Man, I am never gonna forget this day.
Well, that's what this
was all about, you know?
- Creating new memories.
- Yeah.
And probably catching salmonella.
- A little bit.
- [SCOFFS] Come on.
You know what? We should take a picture.
Okay, you know what?
I'll get Mabel to do it.
Mabel, you mind taking a picture of us?
- TINA: Yeah, please. Thank you, Mabel.
- CALVIN: Thank you.
TINA: All right.
This is a phone.
I got it. I got it. Yeah, don't
Thank you so much.
Don't worry about it, Mabel.
We're just gonna take a
selfie, okay? Son? Get that.
- Okay.
- All right.
- All right.
- We all in there?
- One, two, three
- Mabel?
Gemma, this sure was a long drive
for a sandwich.
Oh, come on, Dave.
In Hickory Corners, we lived
on bone-in chicken sandwiches.
Okay, well, I guess the Little Jimmy
does look enticing.
Okay, what'llit be?
Well, what do you recommend?
I recommend you decide on
something before you ask me.
I'll have the bone-in chicken sandwich.
Excellent choice. And
do I know you from somewhere?
I don't know. You do look familiar.
DAVE: Okay, I know what I want.
I'd like a "P.O." Willie.
No, no, no.
It's coming to me. It's coming to me.
I'm sorry, I just ordered.
Didn't you used to be a waitress here?
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, maybe in another life.
Is he not hearing
me? Sir, I tried to order.
Would you make him a Po' Willie?
For you, beautiful? Anything.