Futurama s11e07 Episode Script

1
[upbeat theme music playing]
[glass shatters]
[theme concludes]
[Nibbler purring]
[scratching]
Ow! Nibbler!
My leg is not a scratching post.
Mine is.
[Nibbler yelping]
[metal scraping]
[Bender] Aw, yeah.
Higher. Yeah, get up there, baby.
He's scratching your shiny metal ass!
That's fine.
As long as he's not biting it.
I know I say it a lot,
but I don't really like it.
[groaning]
I wish he would eat dry food.
[grunting]
[can opener whirring]
Ooh! [babbling]
[grunting]
[Nibbler chomping]
Now, now, now, be patient.
[burping]
[food splattering]
Aw, what a good boy.
[can thudding]
[Nibbler garbling]
Lord Nibbler, stop that!
[gasps, clearing throat]
Uh, councilors, I was doing research
on the behavioral traits
of the Earthican house pet
when exposed to a deely-bopper.
[spring boinging]
A worthy pursuit, to be sure.
But we have a new assignment for you.
The most important
of your illustrious career.
And also
[ominously] your last.
[suspenseful music playing]
[bright music playing]
Oy, so lumpy.
[Nibbler hissing]
[Zoidberg hissing]
[podium whirring]
Ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together
in respectful silence
for the Robuki Theater Company.
Robuki!
- [Bender continues exclaiming]
- Please mute all electronic devices.
[Bender muted]
This week's presentation
is an ancient saga
entitled Apollo 13.
Today, the role of Rocket
will be overacted
by three-time Hammy winner Calculon.
[koto music playing]
Rocket nozzles, are your souls prepared
for the honor of takeoff?
Hai, Rocket-san.
[metal squeaking]
[backdrop thudding]
[Bender muted]
[button taps]
which is why Robuki
is the most respected of the robotic arts.
[button taps]
[Bender muted]
[mechanical whirring]
Humble Oxygen Tank, how are you?
I am exploding. That is how I am.
Kaboom.
[music stops]
Wakayama Prefecture, we have a problem.
[crowd gasping]
Oh my!
[koto music resumes]
Goddess Moon, we petition you
for the gift of gravity,
that we might slingshot back to Earth.
Granted.
Now, all that remains
is to survive the fire dance of reentry.
[upbeat percussion music playing]
The ocean welcomes you
to its watery embrace.
Surely, the Chrysanthemum Throne
will receive you as a hero.
No hero, I.
Though I gazed upon Goddess Moon,
never did I caress her powdery crust.
I have dishonored my rocket ancestors.
[sword unsheathing]
[sword slashing]
[crowd gasping]
[crowd exclaiming, applause]
That red ribbon
looks like real rocket blood.
[dramatic music playing]
That's how you know a play is good,
when you can't understand any of it.
Thanks for buying the tickets, Leela.
[overlapping agreement]
Uh, I didn't buy them.
It was I.
Nibbler! You can talk?
Fry! You can talk?
- [Fry mumbling]
- Do not be alarmed.
I periodically blank your minds
so you forget that I can talk.
Nothing personal.
It's just that sometimes
you witness things
humankind was not meant to know.
Like those giant evil brains
- you and I fought?
- Oops!
Did I forget to blank that one?
[beam zapping]
Hi there.
So, why'd you pay for our tickets,
and I assume this crazily
overpriced champagne I ordered?
Because I have serious news
and I wanted you to be drunk for it.
Uh-oh, hang on.
[Leela gurgling]
[Fry slurping]
As you all sometimes remember,
I've been stationed on Earth
posing as Leela's pet,
and it's been the happiest time
of my billion-year existence.
- But now, I've been reassigned.
- To me?
No. To another universe.
[group gasping, gulping]
Nibbler, why?
The Nibblonian Neighborhood Watch
has detected an ancient universe
on the verge of collapse and death.
And I have been chosen to observe it
before it ceases to exist.
It is the honor of a lifetime.
[solemn, heroic music playing]
- Why?
- Because observing it gives it meaning.
The laws of quantum physics teach us
nothing has any particular form or meaning
until it is observed.
- No!
- Yes!
It's a participatory universe. Dig?
What we see, what we feel,
what we observe,
that is all that is truly real.
Nibbler! You can talk?
Yes. And once I've observed
this disappearing universe,
I shall disappear with it.
Please, don't go.
I must, my friends.
I have said too much,
but I felt I owed it to you.
Therefore, I shall now
blank your memories of me.
It will spare you pain,
for it will be as if I never existed.
But I don't want to forget you.
I will remember for both of us.
Goodbye.
Not this time, Diaper Cat!
Memory-blank my shiny metal ass!
[beam zapping]
[Nibbler yelping]
No! Are you hurt?
Soliloquize if you're okay.
[Nibble groaning]
Nibbler, you can make animal sounds?
Oh, God. He blanked his own memory.
[Nibbler garbling]
No!
- Come back!
- [Bender] He's running away!
Nobody stop him!
[bright music playing]
Nibbler!
- Here, boy!
- There he is!
Oh, no. That's just Supercat.
[Supercat meowing loudly]
I almost forgot.
I always carry a spare ham
in case of emergency.
Here, Nibbler! Mama's got a ham!
Better move Zoidberg upwind.
[moaning] Mama's got a ham.
Mama's got a ham!
[metal thunk]
Ow! I stubbed my footcup!
Who put this lead croquet ball
filled with cement here?
[gasps] That's Nibbler's dark matter!
He must have stopped and plopped.
Look out, here comes another one!
[group yelping]
[Leela panting]
There he is!
[dramatic music playing]
[Nibbler and Leela panting]
[Nibbler sniffing]
Look out! Move it!
Hey, I'm walkin' here!
A lot!
[somber music playing]
Don't worry.
Maybe he smelled his way back home.
That's what I'd do. [sniffing]
That way!
[rockets roaring]
Well, he's not in the humidor.
[voice echoing] Or the wine cave.
I know! Nibbler always comes running
when he hears the can opener!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Let me get further away!
[can opener whirring]
[Bender exclaiming]
[singing]
Here we go round the mulberry bush ♪
The mulberry bush, the mulberry bush ♪
Bender, shush!
He can't hear the can opener
over your lilting baritone.
[grunting]
[metal thudding]
[stapler clicking]
Hey! That's sharp.
Sorry. Have you seen this creature?
No, I mostly only get kites up here
and drunk delivery drones.
Do you think that's enough?
[Leela sobbing] Poor little guy.
[Nibbler whimpering]
[somber music playing]
[rat chomping]
[Nibbler exclaiming]
[wailing]
[shoe squeaking]
[grunting]
[intense music playing]
[Nibbler yelping]
[Nibbler slurping]
[groaning]
[garbling]
[melancholy music playing]
[hopeful music playing]
[grunting]
[Sal] And gotchas!
[Nibbler whimpering, exclaiming]
[animals yowling]
[Nibbler gobbling]
[Nibbler belching]
[truck screeching]
[somber music playing]
Good news, everyone!
You found Nibbler and he's dead?
No. And maybe.
I just remembered I microchipped Nibbler
when he first arrived.
You stuck an ID chip in his neck?
I stuck an ID chip in everyone's neck!
[device beeping]
This is Fry!
Hang on. There's a message
on our answering machine.
Ow!
Yeah, we got some kinds of capybaras
down heres at the pound.
Name of Nibblerses.
Better picks him up
before we puts him down.
[gasps] They found Nibblerses!
[bright music playing]
Yeah, that's the guys.
But you're toos late. He was adopted
- abouts an hour ago.
- By who?
I'll clobber their big ugly face off!
[dramatic music playing]
[Nibbler sucking]
Pwease don't take her away.
[sobbing]
[gentle music playing]
[sobbing]
You're the one who adopted Nibbler?
[sniffling] Mm-hmm.
But I named-ed her Jennifer.
Jennifer? What kind of name is that?
What kind of name is Nibbler?
My daughter Pramela's been real lonely
ever since her mother
ran off with that guy from child services.
They took all the dolls, too.
I'm really sorry, but he is my pet.
[Nibbler growling]
Doesn't seem to recognize you.
That's 'cause his memory got blanked.
You know how shiny robot asses are?
Sure. I've read a few articles.
I can see how somethin'
like that could happen.
But what do we do about it?
Ooh, I have an idea.
Why don't you both call him
and see who he goes to?
I got $50 on Pramela!
Fifty dollars on the one-eyed lady!
I got a serious gambling problem.
It's why my wife left me.
Alright, betting is closed!
And here we go.
- Here, Nibbler. Come on, boy.
- No, come to me, Jenny.
- Ooh, yoo-hoo!
- Come, Jenny!
- Come to Mama. Uh, come on, Jenny.
- You love me, right? Here, girl!
[Pramela kiss smacking]
[Nibbler whimpering]
[grunting]
Well, that settles that.
Hey, stop that.
[Nibbler purring]
I just lint-rolled my legs!
- [Pramela sobbing]
- Oh, God.
I can't take one more second
of cute sniffling.
[Nibbler purring]
He clearly doesn't remember me.
Here.
[touching music playing]
You care about him uh, her.
That's what matters.
[Pramela sneezing]
[dramatic music playing]
[gasping]
I can't breathe!
[siren blaring]
[choking up] I'm afraid
Pramela had a severe allergic reaction.
And I'm having a severe
emotional reaction.
Anyone have a tissue?
Not hospital tissues.
Those cost 40 bucks each.
I'll use my sleeve.
[blowing nose forcefully]
My diagnosis is heartbreak.
Because if she ever touches
her beloved pet again,
she'll die of anaphylactic shock!
He probably shouldn't be
in this room, by the way.
[somber music playing]
Ah, this is too much, even for me, Bender.
Here, take my beloved pet.
Robo-Puppy. I forgot I had him.
[Robo-Puppy barking]
Really?
Thank you!
She's so cute,
and she doesn't make me sneeze.
Well, that worked out. Goodbye.
[footsteps receding]
[door slamming]
[car screeching]
[bright music playing]
[Nibbler slurping]
I just want the old Nibbler back.
Even Fry doesn't lick himself that much.
[Fry slurping]
Maybe his people could help him.
If only we knew where his planet was.
Planet Eternium? I've been there.
No, you haven't. Quit lying.
Nibbler flew me there in his spaceship.
Spaceship? [laughing]
There's no such thing.
Sure, there is.
I'll show you right after this hairball.
[gagging]
[dramatic music playing]
See? He keeps it hidden
under this invisibility cloak.
That's Scruffy's sauna towel.
[mechanical whirring]
[group groaning]
[antenna popping]
Most ships have a return-home button.
That's why I'm able to drink so much
after every delivery.
[button chirping]
[mechanical whirring]
To Eternium and beyond!
[Leela] If there's time.
[dramatic music playing]
[group groaning]
[suspenseful music playing]
Step forward and state your business.
Yes. Um, hi, I'm Leela
I was talking to the Chosen One.
Me? I'm the Chosen One? Swish!
You must be "The Other."
I prefer "Leela."
Although there's also another "The Other."
- Is it me?
- No, you're nothing.
That's not what my grandma says.
I know of you, L'eela.
Aren't you Lord Nibbler's youthful ward?
[chuckles] Well, yes.
Thank you. It's about him.
[dramatic music playing]
[Nibbler garbling]
[toy squeaking]
What have you done to Lord Nibbler?
Us? Nothing! He flashed himself
when he was trying to blank our memories.
It reflected off Bender's ass.
[group groaning, muttering]
But I'm just nothin'!
We were hoping you knew
how to get his memories back.
Alas, we lack that knowledge
because frankly, no Nibblonian
has ever done anything that dumb before.
[babbling]
There is only one hope.
In fact, less than one.
More like two-thirds of a hope.
We must embark
on an extremely perilous journey.
Bring mittens.
[dramatic music playing]
[wind whooshing]
[wheels squeaking]
This is our maximum-security penitentiary,
the Ice Prison.
That was the winning entry
in the naming contest.
The only entity who can help Nibbler
also happens to be the universe's
most dangerous criminal,
condemned to serve
a million life sentences
for crimes against Nibblanity.
A giant brain known only as Brainormous.
[dramatic sting]
[group yelping]
Also known only as Braingantua.
A giant brain? Sounds familiar.
[beam zapping]
A giant brain? Well, I never.
Brainzilla.
We come to you because
our colleague, Lord Nibbler,
has blanked his own memory.
We hoped your plus-sized brain
might hold the secret to restoring it.
[Brainormous]
Well do I recall Lord Nibbler.
He stood guard over me in this very prison
for untold eons.
That was his assignment.
Don't get your lobes in a twist.
[Brainormous] I may be able
to reawaken his mental pathways,
but only with a brain meld.
[group gasps]
Is it dangerous?
And if not, why did we all just gasp?
[Brainormous] Oh, it is very dangerous.
The excitement alone
will probably kill at least two of you.
But if I succeed,
the price I demand is
my freedom.
[dramatic music plays]
We accept your conditions.
Let the brain meld commence.
[eerie music playing]
[group shuddering]
[Brainormous] Oh, the pain!
[Nibbler exclaiming]
[Brainormous] The pain!
[Nibbler garbling]
Man, she was not lying
about the overall level of excitement.
[Nibbler and Brainormous screaming]
Neat.
[camera clicking]
[dramatic music playing]
Did the brain meld work? Is he okay?
[Brainormous] Yes, Nibbler once again
has all his memories.
And I have them, too.
[cackling]
We would've opened a window for you!
[snorting] Where am I?
Did I catch that mangy squirrel?
You flashed yourself, but you're okay now.
Ah, yes.
It's all flooding back,
including the taste of that squirrel,
which was delicious, by the way.
Thank you, Leela.
I can never repay you for all you've done.
You can repay me.
So, shall we head home and recuperate?
Toss back a few squirrels?
[sighs] As much as I would enjoy that, no.
I must proceed to my new assignment.
That dying universe will
only have importance
if someone appreciates it
while it's still there.
I understand.
- I don't.
- I don't either.
But it matters to him.
This, Lord Nibbler,
is the single-use vessel
you will take on your journey.
Could you have made it
look less like a coffin?
The folks in marketing
say our branding is "too cute."
[bright music playing]
Point taken.
This is the tool you will use
to open a portal to the dying universe.
And this is a deely-bopper
to help pass the time.
And now, I must blank your memories.
Bender, kindly holster your ass.
Do you really have to blank my memories?
I do, so you won't worry about me.
But I want to worry about you.
Can't we just say goodbye?
Very well.
You've been a dear friend
who's always had a ham for me
when I needed it most.
[Nibbler purring]
[sobbing] Goodbye.
[Leela continues sobbing]
[rockets roaring]
Perhaps I'll miss him most of all.
Ah, who am I kidding? [laughing]
[somber music playing]
You guys wanna stop
at the moon on the way back?
Maybe get an ice cream
and use the bathroom?
[alarm blaring]
Oh, no! Low oxygen!
It's just like that Apollo 13 show we saw!
- What do we do?
- I think a weird slow dance?
There's no room to dance in here.
We're gonna die!
[Fry and Leela coughing, gasping]
Oh, wait, hang on.
I keep a supply of oxygen in my ass
whenever I go into space.
You do? Why?
Duh. So I can smoke.
[air whooshing]
[Leela and Fry gasping]
[sighing]
[fire whooshing]
[Bender puffing]
[exhales]
You're welcome.
[bright music playing]
[Leela and Fry grunting]
I'm not even gonna ask.
Sooner or later,
everyone needs Bender's ass gas.
That's why I didn't ask.
So, what happened with Nibbler?
[dramatic music playing]
A little bit to the left.
[laser buzzing]
[metallic clicking]
Goodbye, Leela's universe.
[ominous music playing]
[Brainormous] Oh no, you don't!
Step away from the universe.
[Nibbler yelping]
[somber music playing]
[rain pattering]
We all know ya miss
that thing with the diaper,
but starin' out the window
isn't gonna bring him home.
[glass shattering]
Then again
He's back! But is he dead or alive?
Both! Or neither.
Like all things, his state of being
has no particular value
until it's observed.
Open it! I've gotta know!
Can't handle a little quantum uncertainty?
What a snowflake.
[air hissing]
Oh, Snookums! You're alive.
[sighs] What a relief.
I wasn't sure until you
opened the box and checked.
But, if you're here,
I guess you never got to see
that dying universe.
No, I I did not.
Aw.
You didn't get to do your wittle mission.
But someone else did.
[Brainormous] I am relieved
you survived the brain meld, Lord Nibbler.
And I, you.
[Brainormous]
Floating amongst your thoughts,
I revisited fond memories.
You were the one Nibblonian
who spent time conversing with me,
who made my imprisonment bearable,
who kept me from losing my me.
I, too, enjoyed those eons.
[Brainormous]
Others acted as though I did not exist.
But not you. You perceived me.
And now, I would like to return the favor.
- By perceiving me?
- No.
By perceiving whatever lies
beyond that portal.
To learn all there is
to know of that place,
things no brain has ever known.
Then, lord it over everyone
in the millisecond
before the universe collapses.
Not a bad way to go.
[dramatic music playing]
[warbling]
[Brainormous echoing] I see!
[portal clicking]
So, what happened to the universe?
It's gone.
But it mattered
because someone cared about it.
You gave up on your mission? Why?
I realized I mattered,
because you cared about me.
[touching music playing]
Pretty heavy stuff, eh?
I imagine it's all rather overwhelming
to your tiny minds.
Would anyone care for a brain blanking?
Ooh! Do me, do me!
[beam zapping]
Sure, just take a little off the top.
[beam zapping]
[overlapping chatter]
[beam zapping]
And one for you.
[beam zapping]
♪♪
[upbeat theme music playing]
[curious ticking]
[fanfare playing]