Last Week Tonight With John Oliver (2014) s12e14 Episode Script
Med Spas
1
Welcome to "Last Week Tonight"!
I'm John Oliver, thank you for
joining us. It has been a busy week.
Russia launched a massive drone
and missile attack on Ukraine,
Hooters abruptly closed
dozens of restaurants,
in a blow to divorced dads
everywhere,
and South Korea held a snap election
triggered by December attempted coup.
The stakes there were high,
but that didn't stop South Korean TV
doing what it does every election,
and that is producing spectacular
graphics-showing live results
with visuals of the candidates
hopping over a river,
racing on exercise bikes,
and competing to see
who could plunge a toilet faster.
Which is clearly excellent.
But my favorite coverage
came from a network
that simply read election results
over AI slop capybaras
doing things like playing baseball,
driving a fire truck
and just making dinner.
This capybara is working hard,
currently making kimchi.
It's a scene that makes you
think of delicious suyuk.
We'll now look at current polls
of Gyeongnam.
Current tallied polls at 2.7%.
Current first in Gyeongnam,
Kim Moon-soo at 53.1%.
Come on. Cable news here
should be taking notes.
Election night in the U.S. is terrible
and Steve Kornacki in his slutty
little khakis can only do so much.
If I'm gonna have to watch
Trump win a third term,
at the very least,
I want a kimchi-prepping capybara
to help get me through it.
But we're gonna focus on the U.S.,
where things have been chaotic.
Trump issued another travel ban,
and on Thursday,
got into a war of words with Elon Musk,
which quickly spiraled out of control.
The president posting,
"Elon was wearing thin."
"I asked him to leave
and he just went crazy."
Musk writing,
"Such an obvious lie. So sad."
Mr. Trump going after
the SpaceX CEO's bottom line:
"The easiest way to save money
in our budget"
"is to terminate Elon's governmental
subsidies and contracts."
Musk then writing,
"Time to drop the really big bomb",
saying the president, quote,
"is in the Epstein files."
"That is the real reason they
have not been made public."
"Have a nice day, DJT."
Okay. Setting aside that Trump being
in the Epstein files is not a bombshell,
it is a commonly-held assumption,
they basically spent a full day
fighting with big
"real housewife energy".
In fact, at one point,
Andy Cohen even posted,
"Let me host the reunion!"
Which makes complete sense to me,
because at their core,
these two men
are Real Housewives.
Both of them have hair
that's expensive and wrong,
both have sketchy business ventures
I don't fully understand,
they both spend
far too much time online
and if either of them isn't the center
of attention for a single second,
they will die.
Honestly, the only thing that's missing
is a messy in-person confrontation
where Andy Cohen gets one of them
to read a tweet,
and the other
throws a daiquiri in his face.
Why can't we have this?
It was also a hell of a week
for Mike Lindell-founder of MyPillow
and drowned corpse that just placed
4th in a Tom Selleck look-alike contest.
Very basically, Lindell's being sued
by a former employee
of Dominion Voting Systems
for amplifying false claims
that he helped rig the 2020 election,
and for calling him "disgusting",
"treasonous"
and "a traitor to the U.S."
The trial started this week
and Lindell's been using it
as a marketing opportunity.
This is Mike Lindell, the MyPillow guy,
doing a live promotion
for his pillow company on the steps
of a federal courthouse in Denver.
We put everything back up there,
the MyCrosses you save 50%,
we're turning that
into resources for this trial.
Lindell is here to stand trial
in a defamation lawsuit
brought against him by a former
Dominion Voting Systems executive.
So, even when you're fighting in court,
you're still doing the day job?
- Promoting pillows?
- Yeah, I have to. That's my job.
Yeah, one thing Lindell's always
gonna do is hawk pillows.
He even tweeted out
that you can get a discount this week
using the promo code "JURY".
And that is a born hustler right there.
Most people might take a break
from slinging pillows
while they're facing legal jeopardy,
but not Mike.
If he was trapped on a desert island,
he wouldn't spell out "help",
he'd spell out "50% off bolster pillows
with promo code 'starvation.'"
From the start of this case,
Lindell has been a loose cannon,
including a multi-day deposition
where he repeatedly lost his cool.
And I'm not asking
about the lumpy pillow calls.
No, they're not lumpy pillows,
that's not what they call on.
When you say, "lumpy pillows",
now you're an asshole, you got that?
You're an asshole is what you are.
No, he's an asshole.
How do you guys sleep at night?
You obviously don't have
a MyPillow, that's a fact.
How dare he try and sue MyPillow.
He's a scumbag for doing that.
Put that in there, scumbag,
S-key-U-M-bag.
Look, that is all bad, but giving up
spelling halfway through there
just made him sound
like a "Sesame Street" character
talking to kids on his smoke break.
"S-C- U-M-look, kids, I'm off the clock.
Look it up on your mom's phone!"
Lindell's legal team doesn't seem
great, either, though.
He hired his current attorney,
Chris Kachouroff,
after his previous lawyers quit because
he couldn't afford to pay them.
And Kachouroff's court filing
wasn't exactly reassuring.
A federal judge says
Lindell's attorneys turned in a brief
with nearly 30 defective citations.
They admitted it was AI.
Christopher Kachouroff represents
election deniers across America.
He's had some other
embarrassing briefs,
like the one seen when he showed up
pantless to a court hearing on Zoom.
Yeah, if you wondered
who would possibly agree
to represent a brain-cooked
shrieking pillow-monger in court,
turns out it's an AI-cheating lawyer
who once accidentally logged in
to work sporting Donald Duck casual.
The two men
are made for each other.
Lindell is apparently insisting
that he's going to testify, saying,
"Of course I'm gonna testify
at my own trial!"
"I have nothing to hide.
I'm a former crack addict."
"I've always been open about that.
I've been open about everything!"
"I'm as transparent as they come.
I have nothing to hide at this trial."
And I dunno, Mike! No one's ever
thought your problem was being coy.
Whenever you open your mouth, you
don't sound like a former crack addict,
you sound more like crack itself made
a wish to become a pillow salesman.
One common thread throughout
this entire saga
is that every time Lindell's invited
to actually present evidence,
he comes up with nothing.
And that same pattern
is on display here.
In the afternoon,
the court was shown a clip
from Mike Lindell's "Frank Speech"
podcast in 2021 where Lindell said,
"You are treasonous. You are
a traitor to the USA,"
"these are things that I have
evidence of. The evidence is there."
Yet, in their opening statements,
Lindell's lawyers said
that they would not be showing
evidence to support Lindell's belief
the 2020 election was rigged.
Look, I'm no lawyer,
but you knew that already… pants.
But typically, if you have evidence
that vindicates you,
a good time to bring that up
is during your trial.
This trial is actually being closely
covered by LindellTV,
Mike Lindell's own network,
which has been promoting
what it calls the "most important
trial of the century."
And their coverage
hasn't exactly been impartial,
given that this is how they
covered jury selection.
Judge Nina Wang is the judge
presiding over this case.
And so, again, she will be asking
the potential jurors the questions
and then both sides will determine
who they want in the jury pool.
I have to wonder, is the judge
asking if they have a MyPillow,
and if they do,
are they being excused for bias
for loving Mike's
wonderful product?
Look, I get it. You're hosting
a show called "The Absolute Truth"
on a Fisher-Price news network.
No one is expecting fair and balanced.
So why not openly shill
your boss's discount foam sacks
during his defamation trial?
My only question is,
who are you selling to?
Presumably, anyone watching LindellTV
already owns too many MyPillows.
Is there honestly a die-hard Lindell
fan watching that going,
"Wait a minute,
my boy sells pillows, too?"
"Why didn't he mention it?"
And by the way, LindellTV doesn't
just exist to cover this trial.
You might remember that in our
piece about Trump and the press,
it now has a correspondent in
the White House briefing room.
That is her, standing next
to a hedge fund Lannister.
But that is just the beginning.
It also has original programming,
including "The Rudy Giuliani Show",
something called "Scriptures
and Wallstreet",one word,
it even streams a handful of movies,
all of which look utterly terrible,
and one of which is
"Heaven: How I Got Here: A Night
with the Thief on the Cross",
Stephen Baldwin's one-man show
where he plays all the characters.
And here is just a taste.
Remember that you will always
reap what you sow,
so Stephen,
be nice to your brother.
Yeah,
or God's gonna strike you dead.
Or maybe
he's gonna strike you deader.
Boys! He is not going
to strike anyone dead.
Stephen, do you fear God?
Do I fear God?
It never occurred to me
that there was any other option.
Look, is it the worst thing a Baldwin
brother has done on film?
No one would claim that.
But it's definitely in the top two.
And yes, it is very funny to watch
that show,
but I worry that it's gonna get much
less funny when the Kennedy Center's
forced to announce that it's the only
production on the calendar
for the next four fucking years.
Lindell's trial is ongoing. And if
you're thinking, "Well, who cares?"
"Trump's just gonna pardon him
in the end",
I'm sure he would if he could,
but you can't pardon someone
in a civil defamation suit.
So, Lindell may well end up
having to pay a lot of money
that he does not have.
And if he ends up feeling
the punishment is too harsh here,
I guess I'd say the same thing
to him that I'd say to Elon Musk,
or any other Trump supporter who's
inevitably been burned by Trump.
And that is,
to quote Stephen Baldwin
seemingly possessed
by the spirit of a Russian peasant,
you will always reap what you sow.
And now, this.
And Now: CBS 58's Frankie Jupiter
Has a Few Very Strong Opinions.
For those of us who want to
get more bang for our buck
when it comes to Christmas?
Garland is expensive. Okay?
What I'm not going to do
is spend all this money on garland
just to have it up for a week or two.
It's going to be up for a month,
two, or three.
Where we're talking
about pineapple pizza.
There's this restaurant
who doesn't serve it,
but they serve it, but they
serve it at a very expensive price,
because they don't like
pineapple on the pizza.
Now, there are some haters
out there of pineapple pizza.
All I'm just going to say is that
I love Hawaiian pizza and pineapples.
Dinner is going to start
at 12:00 or 5:00,
it needs to start 12:00 or 5:00.
That means we've been waiting.
That means that we didn't eat
breakfast the whole time.
So, at five o'clock,
if dinner's gonna be served,
please let it be ready,
not at 7:30.
People are hungry.
I will DoorDash from your home.
What's the worst gift that
you can give? Absolutely nothing.
You can literally have Instacart
send grocery store flowers.
I mean, literally.
I mean, I'm just saying.
Even the little free,
the email things that they get.
- You know what I'm saying?
- It could be anything.
You can go to the gas station and buy
those single roses that they have.
One, for three bucks!
Nobody wants this running around
in the neighborhood.
Nobody wants this in their backyard.
If you're gonna have a kangaroo pet,
build the appropriate fence.
- I think they're legal here, too.
- They are.
Build an appropriate fence!
Moving on. Our main story tonight
concerns beauty.
It's the reason why, earlier today,
I asked my makeup team
to "give me the works",
to which they said, and I quote,
"If you think we don't already go
all out every week to make you appear"
"at least 75% alive, you are genuinely
too stupid to host this show."
Beauty is something
that many strive for,
and some are willing to go
to incredible lengths, like this.
I got a salmon sperm facial,
with salmon sperm
injected into my face.
Kim Kardashian admits to trying
a fishy new beauty treatment,
the Jennifer Aniston-approved
salmon sperm facial.
The procedure is said to be
a natural way to achieve a baby face,
with Botox-like effects.
As for the price?
This procedure costs 800 dollars
and maintenance treatments are
recommended every four to six months.
Look, if staying young and beautiful
requires 800 dollars quarterly
injections of salmon jizz to the face
then count me out.
I'd much rather age the way I talk:
at exactly one-and-a-half speed.
Also, while the boom
in salmon sperm facials
might be terrible news for the salmon
who hope to be fathers one day,
it is great news for your friend Doug
who's been quietly hoarding salmon jizz
for the last five years.
Treatments like that are available
at facilities called med spas,
and you're probably at least
familiar with them,
either because you've seen one
pop up in your neighborhood,
or you've been pushed one of thousands
of influencer videos about them.
Today, I'm gonna be going to Look Lab
Med Spa in Winter Park, Florida.
I'm going to be getting a little bit
of filler and then also some Botox.
Come with me to get my lips done.
I am very particular
on how I want my lips to be done.
This is Infinity Med Spa,
where I get my BBL laser done.
It is so pretty on the inside.
I went in with no makeup.
This is my nurse injector, Lydia.
And here's the after.
My skin was so glowy,
I felt like a glazed donut
in the best way.
Okay. Well, I love that for you.
And it's definitely a refreshing counter
to my normal state of feeling like
a glazed donut in the worst way,
which is to say, sticky, wet,
and comprised of a series of soft,
doughy pieces of unclear origin.
The point is, depending on what your
algorithm knows about you,
you might see a lot of med spa content,
whether it's videos like those
or ads promoting specials like this
very specific holiday-themed promo.
Okay, then! Although, I will say,
the music from "Halloween"
might actually be the perfect
choice for a med spa,
given the Michael Meyers mask
does look like what happens
when the fillers don't hit.
A med spa is essentially a business
that provides aesthetic procedures,
including both medical
and non-medical.
For example, a facial?
That's non-medical.
But lasers, Botox, and IV drips?
Those are medical.
And while you could go
to a doctor's office for those,
for many, it's both easier and cheaper
to go to the med spa
down the block.
And nowadays, they are everywhere.
It's estimated there are more than
10.000 med spas nationwide,
with the industry generating
an estimated 17 billion annually.
And they can be fun places.
It's why they've become a staple
for bachelorette parties,
along with penis straws, tattoos
of the groom's face, karaoke,
and Katie locking herself in the
bathroom because no one sang along
when she chose "All Too Well
(10 Minute Version),"
and she feels like that's just another
example of the toxic energy
she's been feeling all weekend.
Med spa treatments
have become so ubiquitous
that, as one expert put it,
they've been
"trivialized to the point that patients
no longer see it as health care."
But some of the procedures do carry
the risks of traditional medical care.
And while many med spas are safe
and staffed by careful professionals,
the rapid rise of med spas
has also been accompanied
by a rapid rise in stories like this.
And I kept saying,
"Please, please, stop. It's burning."
Johanna Searles has the pictures
and she still has the scars,
the results of laser
hair removal at a med spa.
The red dots
are from the actual laser head.
Johanna won a voucher
for the treatment,
and she said the facility
looked so professional,
she figured it must be safe.
It had a doctor's name
right on the door.
She had told me that it was
under a doctor's supervision.
They all wore white coats.
You pay for something thinking you're
going to get this service done,
thinking you're under the care
of a doctor,
or a doctor is supervising these
workers, and there's nothing.
There's no regulation.
Yeah, that would be confusing.
If someone's wearing a white coat,
you assume they're a doctor,
in the same way if someone's wearing
a "Female Body Inspector" shirt,
you assume they're a virgin.
That is their uniform.
The fact is, this whole industry
can fall into a regulatory gray area,
as many of the services they provide
seem to fall
between traditional esthetic services
and traditional medical practice.
Meanwhile, other services definitely
fall under the practice of medicine,
but no one, from practitioners,
to customers, to law enforcement,
acts like it.
There are currently
no federal standards for a med spa,
and no standard legal definition
for what one even is.
And that has left the market
wide open for bad actors.
In fact, med spas have been described
as the "Wild West" of medicine.
And it does get pretty wild.
Only on 13, a man known on social
media as Mr. Injector
hauled out of his so-called med spa
and sent straight to jail tonight,
accused of doing illegal injections.
The 42-year-old faces
four felony charges.
On social media, Moore calls
himself "Mrinjector1",
his page filled with his work.
Inside his Pasadena office under
a neon "Dustin's Darlings" sign,
police say he did non-FDA-approved
butt and Botox-like injections.
Okay, so there is a lot going on there.
From him doing illegal butt injections
under a custom neon sign
to the name "Mrinjector1",
a handle that screams,
"Fuck, I was too late!",
to his profile picture looking
like a guy on Hinge
who's about to message you,
"You remind me of my mom,
she's got a great rack."
Literally nothing about this
man seems good.
But the fact is, Mr. Injector1 is far
from the only med spa horror story.
And if an industry
is growing this fast,
and can be run this loosely,
people are going to get hurt.
So, given that, tonight,
let's talk about med spas.
And let's start with the fact their
expansion has been fueled
partially by the rise in demand
for beauty treatments,
but also by investors
seeking a growth opportunity.
Some med spas, like these,
are even franchised,
enabling someone to essentially
buy a medical practice in a box.
Here is the CEO of one would-be
chain, making his pitch.
The beauty
about this beauty business
is there are many things
that are very attractive.
Number one, all this business
is a cash business,
so we don't have
to deal with insurance.
You can have a med spa
in a shopping center, inside of a mall,
so you get
all the traffic from the mall.
You can have it in a building
for doctor office,
or just for regular office, and there's
something very attractive for investors
because you can open
a business anywhere.
Yeah, it's true! Although it's not
exactly reassuring to hear
a medical facility
being pitched the same way
you'd pitch
a Subway sandwich shop.
I know both technically involve getting
suspicious-looking goo inside you,
but through vastly different
delivery systems.
And state by state, the laws
governing med spas can vary wildly.
For instance, in New Jersey,
only a doctor can perform laser
hair removal,
whereas in New York,
literally anyone can do it,
as long as, it seems,
you're an antagonistic Russian.
Meanwhile, in Texas,
anyone can be certified to be an
injector and practice anywhere.
It can get so confusing that,
in Oklahoma,
their board of nursing
guidelines recommend
"nurses use their own professional
judgment to determine"
"what procedures they can do
based on relevant laws",
which feels like they're one step
away from just telling nurses
to ask a Magic 8 Ball: "Am I allowed
to give this woman chin filler?"
Good news! All signs point to yes!
And what this means is,
from the services they sell,
to the people they employ,
to the stuff they inject into you,
med spas can be far less rigorously
vetted than you might assume.
And let's start with the services,
which can range
from safe and benign,
to complete snake oil.
For instance,
many med spas offer IV drips,
sometimes simply for rehydration,
but sometimes claiming their ingredients
"can boost immunity, delay aging,
or even prevent serious disease",
all of which are total myths.
Other med spas offer
bizarre-sounding treatments
with little to no scientific
basis behind them,
like ionic foot detox baths,
ultraviolet blood irradiation,
or insufflation of ozone through
the vagina, rectum or ear.
And really, once you've insuffled
your ear,
you might as well squash your
crotch and squinch your grinch,
you're already there!
Then there are services that have been
heavily branded and marketed,
like AccuTite, BodyTite,
TruSculpt, and SculpSure,
all of which are performed with medical
devices that are "FDA cleared".
And while
that might sound reassuring,
as we covered in our piece on medical
devices, that doesn't really mean shit.
Because while "FDA approved"
means the FDA's determined
there's valid scientific evidence
a device is safe and effective
for its intended use,
"FDA cleared" just means
it's close enough to something
that's already being sold that it can
be legally marketed.
Which is barely one step above
an FDA stamp declaring "This exists!"
And FDA-cleared devices
can do some good,
but they can also do nothing,
or in some cases, active harm.
Take CoolSculpting-very basically,
it involves placing a device
onto a targeted part of the body
to freeze fat cells.
But in some cases,
it can result in a condition
where the patient
grows hard fatty tissue,
resulting in swellings and masses
that can be permanent.
Supermodel Linda Evangelista
famously had that happen to her.
Now, she got the procedure done
at a dermatologist's office.
But it's also widely available
at med spas.
And if CoolSculpting can go that
wrong in the hands of an actual doctor,
just imagine the damage someone
like a MrInjector1 could do.
And look, ideally,
you'd have a doctor talk you through
the risks and benefits
of any sort of procedure on offer.
But that's not possible
at many med spas.
Because while they are required to be
supervised by a medical professional
with what's called
"full practice authority",
that supervision
can be done remotely,
and sometimes, very remotely.
Just watch this local news piece
about a med spa in Wisconsin.
Aaron Gabrielse
claims to have performed
more than 70.000 cosmetic procedures
in Wisconsin.
I am an expert.
But he is not a doctor.
Instead, he says he works under
the license of a doctor
who's almost never in the building.
- Is he in the room at the time?
- No, he's not. He's not on staff.
Gabrielse owns Regenesys Laser
& Wellness, located in Sheboygan.
But his medical director
is Dr. Jonathan Cotter,
who works in Wausau,
two and a half hours away.
He does come to our office once
a year, but he is not in the room, no.
Yeah, that doctor is hours away.
And while he maintained
that he often checked in on the phone
and that doing it remotely did not
compromise the quality of care,
that doesn't really feel
like supervision, does it?
It is hard to know what's really going
on if you only visit once a year.
Don't believe me?
Ask any uncle.
Last Christmas,
little Kaden loved trucks
and now he's into the collected
works of Patricia Highsmith?
What have I missed here?!
And the fact medical supervision
can be done from a distance
is a feature of this industry,
to the point that sometimes,
someone will first decide
to open a med spa,
and only then go out
to recruit a medical director,
who'll then allow their license to be
used to purchase drugs and equipment,
but may rarely if ever review charts,
see patients or supervise treatments.
And that recruitment
process can be worryingly ad hoc,
to the point there are even
Facebook groups littered with posts,
advertising doctors who can be
paired with med spas in all 50 states.
Meanwhile, the actual staffs
in some spas
are primarily physicians' assistants,
nurse practitioners and RNs,
and nothing against people
who hold those jobs,
they can be extremely skilled.
But their training on the procedures
done in med spas can be thin, at best,
given there are very few dermatology
specific training programs
for non-doctors.
In 2023, out of tens of thousands
of graduates
from nurse practitioner programs,
only 37 were certified in dermatology.
So, to fill that gap, companies
have popped up to offer "trainings"
and "certifications" that
sound official but are not.
One company, MySpaLive,
even advertises
that you can "get certified
and begin injecting"
"after just one day of hands-on training
with our expert instructors",
which really does not feel
like enough training
to shoot a paralyzing
neurotoxin into someone's face.
Especially because,
if you do it wrong,
you could inadvertently inject into
a blood vessel, cause skin necrosis,
which is
the permanent loss of skin tissue,
or cause someone
to go permanently blind.
Even less severe reactions
can be alarming,
as one customer who got Botox
from a technician,
who had some "training certifications"
but no medical license, discovered.
I just remember waking up
and there being, like, bright lights
and people in my face and
everything like that and panic.
She says she fainted.
An EMS report also details
a five-minute seizure and vomiting.
In Texas,
Botox injectors must have someone
licensed in medicine supervising,
like a physician assistant,
a registered nurse,
or a doctor
serving as a medical director,
in case
there are any complications.
But police tell us
the company's medical director,
listed online back then,
was a pediatrician in Tyler,
more than three hours away.
Yeah, that's not good.
If something goes wrong,
you don't want your official protocol
to be calling a pediatrician
three hours away,
for a number of reasons, including:
do you know how many calls
pediatricians are already fielding
from panicked parents every day?
"My baby won't burp."
"My baby won't fart."
"My baby grunts
like a pig when she sleeps."
"My toddler swallowed 17 Legos."
"My toddler sleeps
upside down like a bat."
"My toddler sounds like Al Pacino
when she screams."
"My kid bumped his head
and is acting strange."
"My kid bumped his head
and is now speaking French."
"My kid bumped his head
and is acting normal,"
"but just wanted to call and say,
'What's up?'"
Pediatricians don't have the bandwidth
to handle adult Botox issues.
The point is, a lot of the protections
you associate with medical offices
just don't apply to med spas.
Oversight can be incredibly lax.
Most states don't even require
a med spa register their existence.
And there've been cases
where the laws were so loose,
something like this could happen.
A young man suffered these
second-and third-degree burns,
on his back, after his mom
took him to a med spa in McLean.
So, they sent a complaint
to delegate Mark Keam.
Unfortunately
for my constituent and her son,
the person that was operating
and doing the treatment itself
was a janitor.
Yeah, apparently a janitor performed
laser hair removal.
And I am not saying
someone who works as a janitor
doesn't have the capacity to be
skilled at laser hair removal,
it's literally the plot
of "Good Will Hunting 2:
How You Like Them Lasers?",
but it is still alarming.
So, clearly, med spas can massively cut
corners on staffing and personnel.
But they can also cut corners
when it comes
to what they're putting into your body,
because real Botox is expensive
and also requires a medical license
to go and buy,
which may be why there have been
multiple stories of med spa owners
being accused of seeking out
shortcuts like this.
To her Skin Beauté Med Spa clients,
Rebecca Fadanelli
presented herself as a nurse.
But now the feds say
since March 2021,
the 38-year-old aesthetician
was not licensed or certified
when she gave thousands of illegal
counterfeit Botox, Sculptra,
and Juvéderm injections, which she
imported from China and Brazil.
Fadanelli later admitted to the feds
she buys the injectable drugs
from a Chinese supplier
through Alibaba,
but didn't know if they
were FDA-approved.
Yeah, you can get
fake botox on Alibaba.
Of course you can, you can find
basically anything on Alibaba:
facial injections, refrigerated trucks,
pet coffins,
this animatronic dinosaur,
and "Hollywood Star Michael Jackson
Life Size Wax Figure Selfie Museum."
And look, that item
might well be top quality,
one reviewer who purchased
an Iron Man wax figure from that seller
said "AAA+++ super honest
and profetional seller"
"we recomended 100%.
Thanks we happy."
To which the manufacturer replied,
"Thank you dear, we will keep going."
But you would hope,
when it comes to something that's
gonna be injected into your face,
it would be coming
from a reputable company
and not a website that literally
advertises this before and after photo
next to three bottles
simply marked "Logo".
And while that woman
has since pled not guilty,
there've been so many stories
of med spas using counterfeit
or improperly administered Botox
that the FDA issued
a warning last year,
noting they'd found 22
people sickened across 11 states.
Many spas
also offer weight loss drugs
that were concocted
by compounding pharmacies.
That can also be the case with
vitamin injections and IV drips.
But as we have discussed before,
compounding pharmacies
are highly unregulated
and don't have to report
adverse effects to the FDA,
meaning that no one may even know
if things go wrong.
There've even been horror stories like
the unlicensed med spa in New Mexico
that offered a treatment
called a vampire facial,
in which a small amount of blood
is drawn and then reinjected
into the patient's face
with microneedles.
After at least three women
were infected with HIV,
an inspector
revealed unsanitary conditions,
needles and blood specimens
being reused,
and unlabeled tubes of blood
being stored in the kitchen fridge,
along with food.
And I guess
we should at least just be grateful
that that food was labeled,
because you wouldn't want
to accidentally inject a patient
with "Patty's Thai Salad,
Don't Fucking Touch!"
When you take all of this together,
unlicensed providers
using sketchy products
to perform risky procedures,
you can wind up with a case
like what happened
to an influencer named Bea Amma,
who went to a med spa
that she thought was legitimate
for B-12 shots,
and was upsold into getting
"fat-dissolving" injections.
And I'll let her pick up the story
from there, and I'll warn you,
if you're squeamish,
this will make you squeam.
Within 24 hours, I started
having these incredible shakes
and my body was going through
these hot flashes
and all of a sudden my skin
just starts hurting,
and these welts just start
growing throughout my skin.
Look what she says happened.
Dozens of skin lesions
erupting across her body,
each representing a point where
she says she got a needle injection.
She was diagnosed
with mycobacterium abscessus,
a drug-resistant bacterial infection
that can cause painful skin lesions.
Holy shit!
She went in for B-12 shots,
and came out with what looks like
an old-testament plague.
She was in the hospital for 4 months,
went through numerous surgeries,
and was
on intensive antibiotic treatment.
She ultimately learned that the mystery
substance injected into her
had been bought off,
guess where: Alibaba.
And while she pursued a lawsuit,
she says it hit a dead-end
because the practitioner
had no license to take,
no malpractice insurance to cover it
and no real assets to speak of.
And while that story was extreme,
the lack of accountability
is honestly not that surprising.
If you're injured
at an unlicensed med spa,
there's often little to no recourse,
unless law enforcement
takes an interest in your case.
And I know that some might say
Bea Amma shouldn't have taken
that risk in the first place.
In fact,
victims of this kind of thing
are often unwilling to speak publicly
about what happened to them,
because they're too ashamed.
But she has a pretty good
response to anyone who tries
to judge those who've been
harmed in this way.
Whenever
they share after the fact,
then they start getting blamed for
you didn't need to do that.
And it's like, okay, stop.
Let's stop it right there.
Because the girl who has
the good boob job right next door,
you're gonna be like, "Man,
those are some nice tits."
But God forbid she go through
a mycobacterium
and lose one of her breasts.
And then you're gonna say,
"My god, you shouldn't have been
so vain and gotten boob implants."
Right. It's okay
to want these procedures.
It's also okay not to want them.
And it is not acceptable
to bombard a stranger
with unsolicited comments
or shaming about their body,
unless, that is, they host
a late night talk show
that posts
their episodes to YouTube,
at which point that person
is basically asking for comments
like, "Get a spray tan,
Pillsbury Doughdweeb,"
"This rickety bitch looks
Victorian ill"
and "This guy has the face
of someone who'd be turned"
"into a humidifier in
the 'Beauty and the Beast' castle."
It's always nice
hearing from the fans.
The point is, it's both reasonable
to want these services,
and to expect the people providing
them to be licensed
and adequately supervised.
But far too often,
they just aren't.
And the problem is, if things
don't significantly change,
we're gonna continue to see
more stories like this.
A Frisco doctor's medical license
is suspended,
over the death of a patient
more than 100 miles away.
It happened at Luxe Med Spa
in Wortham, Texas.
Jennifer Cleveland received IV therapy
from the spa's owner in July.
The Texas medical board said
employees there were not licensed
to give IVs and had not trained
to manage complications.
Cleveland, a wife and mother, died
shortly after the treatment began.
Yeah, that is awful. And I will
say, in the wake of that death,
the Texas legislature,
to their credit,
passed a bill that would require
elective IV therapy
to be administered by licensed
medical professionals.
Which really does not seem
too onerous a requirement.
In fact, it's one of those things
you'd assume was already happening.
It'd be like seeing
a McDonald's commercial that says,
"Now made with real cow meat."
Wait, what? What the fuck
was happening before?!
The point is, Governor Abbott
should absolutely sign that bill.
As for what can be done more broadly,
I cannot believe I need to say this,
but bare minimum,
state laws and regulations
should be clearly written,
well publicized and enforced.
Many of these procedures
constitute the practice of medicine
and should be regulated as such.
But laws can only do so much
when they're ignored.
And when demand is this high,
and there is such a clear profit motive,
there's always going to be
the possibility
that sketchy providers
will break the rules.
So, if you are looking for any
of these more invasive treatments,
your safest bet is to find
a trusted doctor
who's experienced in esthetics.
But if you're still considering going
to a med spa for any kind of treatment,
you should research
where you're going
and look up the names
and credentials
of that med spa's medical director
and providers.
Make sure that you are given
a thorough consultation,
also known as a good-faith exam,
and ask what their protocol
is if something bad happens.
If you're getting injections,
ask to see the vials,
and if they respond by acting
defensively or won't show them to you,
get the fuck out of there!
Look, this is an industry
badly in need of oversight.
Because right now,
in too many places,
it is far too easy to set up something
has all the appearances of medicine,
but none of the protections.
And perhaps
the best way to show you that
is to invite you to the grand opening
of a brand new med spa
started by the woman
I'm married to,
and therefore cannot be
compelled to testify against.
Please join me in Bodyface
by Wanda Jo, right here in our studio.
Hi, everybody! Hello!
- Hi there, my Wanda!
- Hi, my John!
My Wanda, you are
absolutely glowing.
I know I am!
And that's thanks to regularly taking
salmon jizz straight to the face.
It's just one of the many
medicine-adjacent procedures
we offer here
at Bodyface by Wanda Jo.
Wanda, I've got to ask,
where do you get the salmon sperm?
Well, you can get it anywhere
there's a stream if you've got time,
patience
and two working fingers.
But I get it from Alibaba,
because if I order it with
my wax statues, I get double points!
My Wanda, if someone
wanted to come here for a treatment,
would they be safe to do so?
Absolutely, my John.
Like many med spas,
we have a medical director
on staff to supervise.
She's the best! She's a veterinarian
on Prince Edward Island.
- Wait, isn't that in Canada?
- Yeah, so she's dirt cheap.
And if there's an emergency,
no problem!
She has to board a ferry.
But after that,
she can get here in 38 hours flat,
if she doesn't stop to pee.
My Wanda, what does Bodyface
provide besides fish sperm facials?
Well, we do it all: Botox, fillers,
CoolSculpting, ozone ear fuckilation,
vaginal tightening,
vaginal loosening,
photosynthesis,
ultraviolet floopee-doops.
And as a new client bonus,
we'll suck out your pube
fat with a crazy straw!
That is a bonus.
Yeah, plus, every client at Bodyface
Med Spa officially becomes
one of Wanda Jo's Little Hoes!
- I've always wanted to be a little hoe!
- Yes!
At Bodyface Med Spa, we can
make you anything you want to be.
Now, scram, John,
I've got an ad to shoot!
Get out of here!
Come on girls, come on out!
No.
I actually don't like this.
This is bad. No,
I don't want any part of this!
All right, that is our show,
thank you so much for watching!
We'll see you next week,
good night! That's actually too much.
- No!
- We're gonna get you, John!
I don't like it!
- No! Stop it!
- We're gonna get you, Johnny!
Welcome to "Last Week Tonight"!
I'm John Oliver, thank you for
joining us. It has been a busy week.
Russia launched a massive drone
and missile attack on Ukraine,
Hooters abruptly closed
dozens of restaurants,
in a blow to divorced dads
everywhere,
and South Korea held a snap election
triggered by December attempted coup.
The stakes there were high,
but that didn't stop South Korean TV
doing what it does every election,
and that is producing spectacular
graphics-showing live results
with visuals of the candidates
hopping over a river,
racing on exercise bikes,
and competing to see
who could plunge a toilet faster.
Which is clearly excellent.
But my favorite coverage
came from a network
that simply read election results
over AI slop capybaras
doing things like playing baseball,
driving a fire truck
and just making dinner.
This capybara is working hard,
currently making kimchi.
It's a scene that makes you
think of delicious suyuk.
We'll now look at current polls
of Gyeongnam.
Current tallied polls at 2.7%.
Current first in Gyeongnam,
Kim Moon-soo at 53.1%.
Come on. Cable news here
should be taking notes.
Election night in the U.S. is terrible
and Steve Kornacki in his slutty
little khakis can only do so much.
If I'm gonna have to watch
Trump win a third term,
at the very least,
I want a kimchi-prepping capybara
to help get me through it.
But we're gonna focus on the U.S.,
where things have been chaotic.
Trump issued another travel ban,
and on Thursday,
got into a war of words with Elon Musk,
which quickly spiraled out of control.
The president posting,
"Elon was wearing thin."
"I asked him to leave
and he just went crazy."
Musk writing,
"Such an obvious lie. So sad."
Mr. Trump going after
the SpaceX CEO's bottom line:
"The easiest way to save money
in our budget"
"is to terminate Elon's governmental
subsidies and contracts."
Musk then writing,
"Time to drop the really big bomb",
saying the president, quote,
"is in the Epstein files."
"That is the real reason they
have not been made public."
"Have a nice day, DJT."
Okay. Setting aside that Trump being
in the Epstein files is not a bombshell,
it is a commonly-held assumption,
they basically spent a full day
fighting with big
"real housewife energy".
In fact, at one point,
Andy Cohen even posted,
"Let me host the reunion!"
Which makes complete sense to me,
because at their core,
these two men
are Real Housewives.
Both of them have hair
that's expensive and wrong,
both have sketchy business ventures
I don't fully understand,
they both spend
far too much time online
and if either of them isn't the center
of attention for a single second,
they will die.
Honestly, the only thing that's missing
is a messy in-person confrontation
where Andy Cohen gets one of them
to read a tweet,
and the other
throws a daiquiri in his face.
Why can't we have this?
It was also a hell of a week
for Mike Lindell-founder of MyPillow
and drowned corpse that just placed
4th in a Tom Selleck look-alike contest.
Very basically, Lindell's being sued
by a former employee
of Dominion Voting Systems
for amplifying false claims
that he helped rig the 2020 election,
and for calling him "disgusting",
"treasonous"
and "a traitor to the U.S."
The trial started this week
and Lindell's been using it
as a marketing opportunity.
This is Mike Lindell, the MyPillow guy,
doing a live promotion
for his pillow company on the steps
of a federal courthouse in Denver.
We put everything back up there,
the MyCrosses you save 50%,
we're turning that
into resources for this trial.
Lindell is here to stand trial
in a defamation lawsuit
brought against him by a former
Dominion Voting Systems executive.
So, even when you're fighting in court,
you're still doing the day job?
- Promoting pillows?
- Yeah, I have to. That's my job.
Yeah, one thing Lindell's always
gonna do is hawk pillows.
He even tweeted out
that you can get a discount this week
using the promo code "JURY".
And that is a born hustler right there.
Most people might take a break
from slinging pillows
while they're facing legal jeopardy,
but not Mike.
If he was trapped on a desert island,
he wouldn't spell out "help",
he'd spell out "50% off bolster pillows
with promo code 'starvation.'"
From the start of this case,
Lindell has been a loose cannon,
including a multi-day deposition
where he repeatedly lost his cool.
And I'm not asking
about the lumpy pillow calls.
No, they're not lumpy pillows,
that's not what they call on.
When you say, "lumpy pillows",
now you're an asshole, you got that?
You're an asshole is what you are.
No, he's an asshole.
How do you guys sleep at night?
You obviously don't have
a MyPillow, that's a fact.
How dare he try and sue MyPillow.
He's a scumbag for doing that.
Put that in there, scumbag,
S-key-U-M-bag.
Look, that is all bad, but giving up
spelling halfway through there
just made him sound
like a "Sesame Street" character
talking to kids on his smoke break.
"S-C- U-M-look, kids, I'm off the clock.
Look it up on your mom's phone!"
Lindell's legal team doesn't seem
great, either, though.
He hired his current attorney,
Chris Kachouroff,
after his previous lawyers quit because
he couldn't afford to pay them.
And Kachouroff's court filing
wasn't exactly reassuring.
A federal judge says
Lindell's attorneys turned in a brief
with nearly 30 defective citations.
They admitted it was AI.
Christopher Kachouroff represents
election deniers across America.
He's had some other
embarrassing briefs,
like the one seen when he showed up
pantless to a court hearing on Zoom.
Yeah, if you wondered
who would possibly agree
to represent a brain-cooked
shrieking pillow-monger in court,
turns out it's an AI-cheating lawyer
who once accidentally logged in
to work sporting Donald Duck casual.
The two men
are made for each other.
Lindell is apparently insisting
that he's going to testify, saying,
"Of course I'm gonna testify
at my own trial!"
"I have nothing to hide.
I'm a former crack addict."
"I've always been open about that.
I've been open about everything!"
"I'm as transparent as they come.
I have nothing to hide at this trial."
And I dunno, Mike! No one's ever
thought your problem was being coy.
Whenever you open your mouth, you
don't sound like a former crack addict,
you sound more like crack itself made
a wish to become a pillow salesman.
One common thread throughout
this entire saga
is that every time Lindell's invited
to actually present evidence,
he comes up with nothing.
And that same pattern
is on display here.
In the afternoon,
the court was shown a clip
from Mike Lindell's "Frank Speech"
podcast in 2021 where Lindell said,
"You are treasonous. You are
a traitor to the USA,"
"these are things that I have
evidence of. The evidence is there."
Yet, in their opening statements,
Lindell's lawyers said
that they would not be showing
evidence to support Lindell's belief
the 2020 election was rigged.
Look, I'm no lawyer,
but you knew that already… pants.
But typically, if you have evidence
that vindicates you,
a good time to bring that up
is during your trial.
This trial is actually being closely
covered by LindellTV,
Mike Lindell's own network,
which has been promoting
what it calls the "most important
trial of the century."
And their coverage
hasn't exactly been impartial,
given that this is how they
covered jury selection.
Judge Nina Wang is the judge
presiding over this case.
And so, again, she will be asking
the potential jurors the questions
and then both sides will determine
who they want in the jury pool.
I have to wonder, is the judge
asking if they have a MyPillow,
and if they do,
are they being excused for bias
for loving Mike's
wonderful product?
Look, I get it. You're hosting
a show called "The Absolute Truth"
on a Fisher-Price news network.
No one is expecting fair and balanced.
So why not openly shill
your boss's discount foam sacks
during his defamation trial?
My only question is,
who are you selling to?
Presumably, anyone watching LindellTV
already owns too many MyPillows.
Is there honestly a die-hard Lindell
fan watching that going,
"Wait a minute,
my boy sells pillows, too?"
"Why didn't he mention it?"
And by the way, LindellTV doesn't
just exist to cover this trial.
You might remember that in our
piece about Trump and the press,
it now has a correspondent in
the White House briefing room.
That is her, standing next
to a hedge fund Lannister.
But that is just the beginning.
It also has original programming,
including "The Rudy Giuliani Show",
something called "Scriptures
and Wallstreet",one word,
it even streams a handful of movies,
all of which look utterly terrible,
and one of which is
"Heaven: How I Got Here: A Night
with the Thief on the Cross",
Stephen Baldwin's one-man show
where he plays all the characters.
And here is just a taste.
Remember that you will always
reap what you sow,
so Stephen,
be nice to your brother.
Yeah,
or God's gonna strike you dead.
Or maybe
he's gonna strike you deader.
Boys! He is not going
to strike anyone dead.
Stephen, do you fear God?
Do I fear God?
It never occurred to me
that there was any other option.
Look, is it the worst thing a Baldwin
brother has done on film?
No one would claim that.
But it's definitely in the top two.
And yes, it is very funny to watch
that show,
but I worry that it's gonna get much
less funny when the Kennedy Center's
forced to announce that it's the only
production on the calendar
for the next four fucking years.
Lindell's trial is ongoing. And if
you're thinking, "Well, who cares?"
"Trump's just gonna pardon him
in the end",
I'm sure he would if he could,
but you can't pardon someone
in a civil defamation suit.
So, Lindell may well end up
having to pay a lot of money
that he does not have.
And if he ends up feeling
the punishment is too harsh here,
I guess I'd say the same thing
to him that I'd say to Elon Musk,
or any other Trump supporter who's
inevitably been burned by Trump.
And that is,
to quote Stephen Baldwin
seemingly possessed
by the spirit of a Russian peasant,
you will always reap what you sow.
And now, this.
And Now: CBS 58's Frankie Jupiter
Has a Few Very Strong Opinions.
For those of us who want to
get more bang for our buck
when it comes to Christmas?
Garland is expensive. Okay?
What I'm not going to do
is spend all this money on garland
just to have it up for a week or two.
It's going to be up for a month,
two, or three.
Where we're talking
about pineapple pizza.
There's this restaurant
who doesn't serve it,
but they serve it, but they
serve it at a very expensive price,
because they don't like
pineapple on the pizza.
Now, there are some haters
out there of pineapple pizza.
All I'm just going to say is that
I love Hawaiian pizza and pineapples.
Dinner is going to start
at 12:00 or 5:00,
it needs to start 12:00 or 5:00.
That means we've been waiting.
That means that we didn't eat
breakfast the whole time.
So, at five o'clock,
if dinner's gonna be served,
please let it be ready,
not at 7:30.
People are hungry.
I will DoorDash from your home.
What's the worst gift that
you can give? Absolutely nothing.
You can literally have Instacart
send grocery store flowers.
I mean, literally.
I mean, I'm just saying.
Even the little free,
the email things that they get.
- You know what I'm saying?
- It could be anything.
You can go to the gas station and buy
those single roses that they have.
One, for three bucks!
Nobody wants this running around
in the neighborhood.
Nobody wants this in their backyard.
If you're gonna have a kangaroo pet,
build the appropriate fence.
- I think they're legal here, too.
- They are.
Build an appropriate fence!
Moving on. Our main story tonight
concerns beauty.
It's the reason why, earlier today,
I asked my makeup team
to "give me the works",
to which they said, and I quote,
"If you think we don't already go
all out every week to make you appear"
"at least 75% alive, you are genuinely
too stupid to host this show."
Beauty is something
that many strive for,
and some are willing to go
to incredible lengths, like this.
I got a salmon sperm facial,
with salmon sperm
injected into my face.
Kim Kardashian admits to trying
a fishy new beauty treatment,
the Jennifer Aniston-approved
salmon sperm facial.
The procedure is said to be
a natural way to achieve a baby face,
with Botox-like effects.
As for the price?
This procedure costs 800 dollars
and maintenance treatments are
recommended every four to six months.
Look, if staying young and beautiful
requires 800 dollars quarterly
injections of salmon jizz to the face
then count me out.
I'd much rather age the way I talk:
at exactly one-and-a-half speed.
Also, while the boom
in salmon sperm facials
might be terrible news for the salmon
who hope to be fathers one day,
it is great news for your friend Doug
who's been quietly hoarding salmon jizz
for the last five years.
Treatments like that are available
at facilities called med spas,
and you're probably at least
familiar with them,
either because you've seen one
pop up in your neighborhood,
or you've been pushed one of thousands
of influencer videos about them.
Today, I'm gonna be going to Look Lab
Med Spa in Winter Park, Florida.
I'm going to be getting a little bit
of filler and then also some Botox.
Come with me to get my lips done.
I am very particular
on how I want my lips to be done.
This is Infinity Med Spa,
where I get my BBL laser done.
It is so pretty on the inside.
I went in with no makeup.
This is my nurse injector, Lydia.
And here's the after.
My skin was so glowy,
I felt like a glazed donut
in the best way.
Okay. Well, I love that for you.
And it's definitely a refreshing counter
to my normal state of feeling like
a glazed donut in the worst way,
which is to say, sticky, wet,
and comprised of a series of soft,
doughy pieces of unclear origin.
The point is, depending on what your
algorithm knows about you,
you might see a lot of med spa content,
whether it's videos like those
or ads promoting specials like this
very specific holiday-themed promo.
Okay, then! Although, I will say,
the music from "Halloween"
might actually be the perfect
choice for a med spa,
given the Michael Meyers mask
does look like what happens
when the fillers don't hit.
A med spa is essentially a business
that provides aesthetic procedures,
including both medical
and non-medical.
For example, a facial?
That's non-medical.
But lasers, Botox, and IV drips?
Those are medical.
And while you could go
to a doctor's office for those,
for many, it's both easier and cheaper
to go to the med spa
down the block.
And nowadays, they are everywhere.
It's estimated there are more than
10.000 med spas nationwide,
with the industry generating
an estimated 17 billion annually.
And they can be fun places.
It's why they've become a staple
for bachelorette parties,
along with penis straws, tattoos
of the groom's face, karaoke,
and Katie locking herself in the
bathroom because no one sang along
when she chose "All Too Well
(10 Minute Version),"
and she feels like that's just another
example of the toxic energy
she's been feeling all weekend.
Med spa treatments
have become so ubiquitous
that, as one expert put it,
they've been
"trivialized to the point that patients
no longer see it as health care."
But some of the procedures do carry
the risks of traditional medical care.
And while many med spas are safe
and staffed by careful professionals,
the rapid rise of med spas
has also been accompanied
by a rapid rise in stories like this.
And I kept saying,
"Please, please, stop. It's burning."
Johanna Searles has the pictures
and she still has the scars,
the results of laser
hair removal at a med spa.
The red dots
are from the actual laser head.
Johanna won a voucher
for the treatment,
and she said the facility
looked so professional,
she figured it must be safe.
It had a doctor's name
right on the door.
She had told me that it was
under a doctor's supervision.
They all wore white coats.
You pay for something thinking you're
going to get this service done,
thinking you're under the care
of a doctor,
or a doctor is supervising these
workers, and there's nothing.
There's no regulation.
Yeah, that would be confusing.
If someone's wearing a white coat,
you assume they're a doctor,
in the same way if someone's wearing
a "Female Body Inspector" shirt,
you assume they're a virgin.
That is their uniform.
The fact is, this whole industry
can fall into a regulatory gray area,
as many of the services they provide
seem to fall
between traditional esthetic services
and traditional medical practice.
Meanwhile, other services definitely
fall under the practice of medicine,
but no one, from practitioners,
to customers, to law enforcement,
acts like it.
There are currently
no federal standards for a med spa,
and no standard legal definition
for what one even is.
And that has left the market
wide open for bad actors.
In fact, med spas have been described
as the "Wild West" of medicine.
And it does get pretty wild.
Only on 13, a man known on social
media as Mr. Injector
hauled out of his so-called med spa
and sent straight to jail tonight,
accused of doing illegal injections.
The 42-year-old faces
four felony charges.
On social media, Moore calls
himself "Mrinjector1",
his page filled with his work.
Inside his Pasadena office under
a neon "Dustin's Darlings" sign,
police say he did non-FDA-approved
butt and Botox-like injections.
Okay, so there is a lot going on there.
From him doing illegal butt injections
under a custom neon sign
to the name "Mrinjector1",
a handle that screams,
"Fuck, I was too late!",
to his profile picture looking
like a guy on Hinge
who's about to message you,
"You remind me of my mom,
she's got a great rack."
Literally nothing about this
man seems good.
But the fact is, Mr. Injector1 is far
from the only med spa horror story.
And if an industry
is growing this fast,
and can be run this loosely,
people are going to get hurt.
So, given that, tonight,
let's talk about med spas.
And let's start with the fact their
expansion has been fueled
partially by the rise in demand
for beauty treatments,
but also by investors
seeking a growth opportunity.
Some med spas, like these,
are even franchised,
enabling someone to essentially
buy a medical practice in a box.
Here is the CEO of one would-be
chain, making his pitch.
The beauty
about this beauty business
is there are many things
that are very attractive.
Number one, all this business
is a cash business,
so we don't have
to deal with insurance.
You can have a med spa
in a shopping center, inside of a mall,
so you get
all the traffic from the mall.
You can have it in a building
for doctor office,
or just for regular office, and there's
something very attractive for investors
because you can open
a business anywhere.
Yeah, it's true! Although it's not
exactly reassuring to hear
a medical facility
being pitched the same way
you'd pitch
a Subway sandwich shop.
I know both technically involve getting
suspicious-looking goo inside you,
but through vastly different
delivery systems.
And state by state, the laws
governing med spas can vary wildly.
For instance, in New Jersey,
only a doctor can perform laser
hair removal,
whereas in New York,
literally anyone can do it,
as long as, it seems,
you're an antagonistic Russian.
Meanwhile, in Texas,
anyone can be certified to be an
injector and practice anywhere.
It can get so confusing that,
in Oklahoma,
their board of nursing
guidelines recommend
"nurses use their own professional
judgment to determine"
"what procedures they can do
based on relevant laws",
which feels like they're one step
away from just telling nurses
to ask a Magic 8 Ball: "Am I allowed
to give this woman chin filler?"
Good news! All signs point to yes!
And what this means is,
from the services they sell,
to the people they employ,
to the stuff they inject into you,
med spas can be far less rigorously
vetted than you might assume.
And let's start with the services,
which can range
from safe and benign,
to complete snake oil.
For instance,
many med spas offer IV drips,
sometimes simply for rehydration,
but sometimes claiming their ingredients
"can boost immunity, delay aging,
or even prevent serious disease",
all of which are total myths.
Other med spas offer
bizarre-sounding treatments
with little to no scientific
basis behind them,
like ionic foot detox baths,
ultraviolet blood irradiation,
or insufflation of ozone through
the vagina, rectum or ear.
And really, once you've insuffled
your ear,
you might as well squash your
crotch and squinch your grinch,
you're already there!
Then there are services that have been
heavily branded and marketed,
like AccuTite, BodyTite,
TruSculpt, and SculpSure,
all of which are performed with medical
devices that are "FDA cleared".
And while
that might sound reassuring,
as we covered in our piece on medical
devices, that doesn't really mean shit.
Because while "FDA approved"
means the FDA's determined
there's valid scientific evidence
a device is safe and effective
for its intended use,
"FDA cleared" just means
it's close enough to something
that's already being sold that it can
be legally marketed.
Which is barely one step above
an FDA stamp declaring "This exists!"
And FDA-cleared devices
can do some good,
but they can also do nothing,
or in some cases, active harm.
Take CoolSculpting-very basically,
it involves placing a device
onto a targeted part of the body
to freeze fat cells.
But in some cases,
it can result in a condition
where the patient
grows hard fatty tissue,
resulting in swellings and masses
that can be permanent.
Supermodel Linda Evangelista
famously had that happen to her.
Now, she got the procedure done
at a dermatologist's office.
But it's also widely available
at med spas.
And if CoolSculpting can go that
wrong in the hands of an actual doctor,
just imagine the damage someone
like a MrInjector1 could do.
And look, ideally,
you'd have a doctor talk you through
the risks and benefits
of any sort of procedure on offer.
But that's not possible
at many med spas.
Because while they are required to be
supervised by a medical professional
with what's called
"full practice authority",
that supervision
can be done remotely,
and sometimes, very remotely.
Just watch this local news piece
about a med spa in Wisconsin.
Aaron Gabrielse
claims to have performed
more than 70.000 cosmetic procedures
in Wisconsin.
I am an expert.
But he is not a doctor.
Instead, he says he works under
the license of a doctor
who's almost never in the building.
- Is he in the room at the time?
- No, he's not. He's not on staff.
Gabrielse owns Regenesys Laser
& Wellness, located in Sheboygan.
But his medical director
is Dr. Jonathan Cotter,
who works in Wausau,
two and a half hours away.
He does come to our office once
a year, but he is not in the room, no.
Yeah, that doctor is hours away.
And while he maintained
that he often checked in on the phone
and that doing it remotely did not
compromise the quality of care,
that doesn't really feel
like supervision, does it?
It is hard to know what's really going
on if you only visit once a year.
Don't believe me?
Ask any uncle.
Last Christmas,
little Kaden loved trucks
and now he's into the collected
works of Patricia Highsmith?
What have I missed here?!
And the fact medical supervision
can be done from a distance
is a feature of this industry,
to the point that sometimes,
someone will first decide
to open a med spa,
and only then go out
to recruit a medical director,
who'll then allow their license to be
used to purchase drugs and equipment,
but may rarely if ever review charts,
see patients or supervise treatments.
And that recruitment
process can be worryingly ad hoc,
to the point there are even
Facebook groups littered with posts,
advertising doctors who can be
paired with med spas in all 50 states.
Meanwhile, the actual staffs
in some spas
are primarily physicians' assistants,
nurse practitioners and RNs,
and nothing against people
who hold those jobs,
they can be extremely skilled.
But their training on the procedures
done in med spas can be thin, at best,
given there are very few dermatology
specific training programs
for non-doctors.
In 2023, out of tens of thousands
of graduates
from nurse practitioner programs,
only 37 were certified in dermatology.
So, to fill that gap, companies
have popped up to offer "trainings"
and "certifications" that
sound official but are not.
One company, MySpaLive,
even advertises
that you can "get certified
and begin injecting"
"after just one day of hands-on training
with our expert instructors",
which really does not feel
like enough training
to shoot a paralyzing
neurotoxin into someone's face.
Especially because,
if you do it wrong,
you could inadvertently inject into
a blood vessel, cause skin necrosis,
which is
the permanent loss of skin tissue,
or cause someone
to go permanently blind.
Even less severe reactions
can be alarming,
as one customer who got Botox
from a technician,
who had some "training certifications"
but no medical license, discovered.
I just remember waking up
and there being, like, bright lights
and people in my face and
everything like that and panic.
She says she fainted.
An EMS report also details
a five-minute seizure and vomiting.
In Texas,
Botox injectors must have someone
licensed in medicine supervising,
like a physician assistant,
a registered nurse,
or a doctor
serving as a medical director,
in case
there are any complications.
But police tell us
the company's medical director,
listed online back then,
was a pediatrician in Tyler,
more than three hours away.
Yeah, that's not good.
If something goes wrong,
you don't want your official protocol
to be calling a pediatrician
three hours away,
for a number of reasons, including:
do you know how many calls
pediatricians are already fielding
from panicked parents every day?
"My baby won't burp."
"My baby won't fart."
"My baby grunts
like a pig when she sleeps."
"My toddler swallowed 17 Legos."
"My toddler sleeps
upside down like a bat."
"My toddler sounds like Al Pacino
when she screams."
"My kid bumped his head
and is acting strange."
"My kid bumped his head
and is now speaking French."
"My kid bumped his head
and is acting normal,"
"but just wanted to call and say,
'What's up?'"
Pediatricians don't have the bandwidth
to handle adult Botox issues.
The point is, a lot of the protections
you associate with medical offices
just don't apply to med spas.
Oversight can be incredibly lax.
Most states don't even require
a med spa register their existence.
And there've been cases
where the laws were so loose,
something like this could happen.
A young man suffered these
second-and third-degree burns,
on his back, after his mom
took him to a med spa in McLean.
So, they sent a complaint
to delegate Mark Keam.
Unfortunately
for my constituent and her son,
the person that was operating
and doing the treatment itself
was a janitor.
Yeah, apparently a janitor performed
laser hair removal.
And I am not saying
someone who works as a janitor
doesn't have the capacity to be
skilled at laser hair removal,
it's literally the plot
of "Good Will Hunting 2:
How You Like Them Lasers?",
but it is still alarming.
So, clearly, med spas can massively cut
corners on staffing and personnel.
But they can also cut corners
when it comes
to what they're putting into your body,
because real Botox is expensive
and also requires a medical license
to go and buy,
which may be why there have been
multiple stories of med spa owners
being accused of seeking out
shortcuts like this.
To her Skin Beauté Med Spa clients,
Rebecca Fadanelli
presented herself as a nurse.
But now the feds say
since March 2021,
the 38-year-old aesthetician
was not licensed or certified
when she gave thousands of illegal
counterfeit Botox, Sculptra,
and Juvéderm injections, which she
imported from China and Brazil.
Fadanelli later admitted to the feds
she buys the injectable drugs
from a Chinese supplier
through Alibaba,
but didn't know if they
were FDA-approved.
Yeah, you can get
fake botox on Alibaba.
Of course you can, you can find
basically anything on Alibaba:
facial injections, refrigerated trucks,
pet coffins,
this animatronic dinosaur,
and "Hollywood Star Michael Jackson
Life Size Wax Figure Selfie Museum."
And look, that item
might well be top quality,
one reviewer who purchased
an Iron Man wax figure from that seller
said "AAA+++ super honest
and profetional seller"
"we recomended 100%.
Thanks we happy."
To which the manufacturer replied,
"Thank you dear, we will keep going."
But you would hope,
when it comes to something that's
gonna be injected into your face,
it would be coming
from a reputable company
and not a website that literally
advertises this before and after photo
next to three bottles
simply marked "Logo".
And while that woman
has since pled not guilty,
there've been so many stories
of med spas using counterfeit
or improperly administered Botox
that the FDA issued
a warning last year,
noting they'd found 22
people sickened across 11 states.
Many spas
also offer weight loss drugs
that were concocted
by compounding pharmacies.
That can also be the case with
vitamin injections and IV drips.
But as we have discussed before,
compounding pharmacies
are highly unregulated
and don't have to report
adverse effects to the FDA,
meaning that no one may even know
if things go wrong.
There've even been horror stories like
the unlicensed med spa in New Mexico
that offered a treatment
called a vampire facial,
in which a small amount of blood
is drawn and then reinjected
into the patient's face
with microneedles.
After at least three women
were infected with HIV,
an inspector
revealed unsanitary conditions,
needles and blood specimens
being reused,
and unlabeled tubes of blood
being stored in the kitchen fridge,
along with food.
And I guess
we should at least just be grateful
that that food was labeled,
because you wouldn't want
to accidentally inject a patient
with "Patty's Thai Salad,
Don't Fucking Touch!"
When you take all of this together,
unlicensed providers
using sketchy products
to perform risky procedures,
you can wind up with a case
like what happened
to an influencer named Bea Amma,
who went to a med spa
that she thought was legitimate
for B-12 shots,
and was upsold into getting
"fat-dissolving" injections.
And I'll let her pick up the story
from there, and I'll warn you,
if you're squeamish,
this will make you squeam.
Within 24 hours, I started
having these incredible shakes
and my body was going through
these hot flashes
and all of a sudden my skin
just starts hurting,
and these welts just start
growing throughout my skin.
Look what she says happened.
Dozens of skin lesions
erupting across her body,
each representing a point where
she says she got a needle injection.
She was diagnosed
with mycobacterium abscessus,
a drug-resistant bacterial infection
that can cause painful skin lesions.
Holy shit!
She went in for B-12 shots,
and came out with what looks like
an old-testament plague.
She was in the hospital for 4 months,
went through numerous surgeries,
and was
on intensive antibiotic treatment.
She ultimately learned that the mystery
substance injected into her
had been bought off,
guess where: Alibaba.
And while she pursued a lawsuit,
she says it hit a dead-end
because the practitioner
had no license to take,
no malpractice insurance to cover it
and no real assets to speak of.
And while that story was extreme,
the lack of accountability
is honestly not that surprising.
If you're injured
at an unlicensed med spa,
there's often little to no recourse,
unless law enforcement
takes an interest in your case.
And I know that some might say
Bea Amma shouldn't have taken
that risk in the first place.
In fact,
victims of this kind of thing
are often unwilling to speak publicly
about what happened to them,
because they're too ashamed.
But she has a pretty good
response to anyone who tries
to judge those who've been
harmed in this way.
Whenever
they share after the fact,
then they start getting blamed for
you didn't need to do that.
And it's like, okay, stop.
Let's stop it right there.
Because the girl who has
the good boob job right next door,
you're gonna be like, "Man,
those are some nice tits."
But God forbid she go through
a mycobacterium
and lose one of her breasts.
And then you're gonna say,
"My god, you shouldn't have been
so vain and gotten boob implants."
Right. It's okay
to want these procedures.
It's also okay not to want them.
And it is not acceptable
to bombard a stranger
with unsolicited comments
or shaming about their body,
unless, that is, they host
a late night talk show
that posts
their episodes to YouTube,
at which point that person
is basically asking for comments
like, "Get a spray tan,
Pillsbury Doughdweeb,"
"This rickety bitch looks
Victorian ill"
and "This guy has the face
of someone who'd be turned"
"into a humidifier in
the 'Beauty and the Beast' castle."
It's always nice
hearing from the fans.
The point is, it's both reasonable
to want these services,
and to expect the people providing
them to be licensed
and adequately supervised.
But far too often,
they just aren't.
And the problem is, if things
don't significantly change,
we're gonna continue to see
more stories like this.
A Frisco doctor's medical license
is suspended,
over the death of a patient
more than 100 miles away.
It happened at Luxe Med Spa
in Wortham, Texas.
Jennifer Cleveland received IV therapy
from the spa's owner in July.
The Texas medical board said
employees there were not licensed
to give IVs and had not trained
to manage complications.
Cleveland, a wife and mother, died
shortly after the treatment began.
Yeah, that is awful. And I will
say, in the wake of that death,
the Texas legislature,
to their credit,
passed a bill that would require
elective IV therapy
to be administered by licensed
medical professionals.
Which really does not seem
too onerous a requirement.
In fact, it's one of those things
you'd assume was already happening.
It'd be like seeing
a McDonald's commercial that says,
"Now made with real cow meat."
Wait, what? What the fuck
was happening before?!
The point is, Governor Abbott
should absolutely sign that bill.
As for what can be done more broadly,
I cannot believe I need to say this,
but bare minimum,
state laws and regulations
should be clearly written,
well publicized and enforced.
Many of these procedures
constitute the practice of medicine
and should be regulated as such.
But laws can only do so much
when they're ignored.
And when demand is this high,
and there is such a clear profit motive,
there's always going to be
the possibility
that sketchy providers
will break the rules.
So, if you are looking for any
of these more invasive treatments,
your safest bet is to find
a trusted doctor
who's experienced in esthetics.
But if you're still considering going
to a med spa for any kind of treatment,
you should research
where you're going
and look up the names
and credentials
of that med spa's medical director
and providers.
Make sure that you are given
a thorough consultation,
also known as a good-faith exam,
and ask what their protocol
is if something bad happens.
If you're getting injections,
ask to see the vials,
and if they respond by acting
defensively or won't show them to you,
get the fuck out of there!
Look, this is an industry
badly in need of oversight.
Because right now,
in too many places,
it is far too easy to set up something
has all the appearances of medicine,
but none of the protections.
And perhaps
the best way to show you that
is to invite you to the grand opening
of a brand new med spa
started by the woman
I'm married to,
and therefore cannot be
compelled to testify against.
Please join me in Bodyface
by Wanda Jo, right here in our studio.
Hi, everybody! Hello!
- Hi there, my Wanda!
- Hi, my John!
My Wanda, you are
absolutely glowing.
I know I am!
And that's thanks to regularly taking
salmon jizz straight to the face.
It's just one of the many
medicine-adjacent procedures
we offer here
at Bodyface by Wanda Jo.
Wanda, I've got to ask,
where do you get the salmon sperm?
Well, you can get it anywhere
there's a stream if you've got time,
patience
and two working fingers.
But I get it from Alibaba,
because if I order it with
my wax statues, I get double points!
My Wanda, if someone
wanted to come here for a treatment,
would they be safe to do so?
Absolutely, my John.
Like many med spas,
we have a medical director
on staff to supervise.
She's the best! She's a veterinarian
on Prince Edward Island.
- Wait, isn't that in Canada?
- Yeah, so she's dirt cheap.
And if there's an emergency,
no problem!
She has to board a ferry.
But after that,
she can get here in 38 hours flat,
if she doesn't stop to pee.
My Wanda, what does Bodyface
provide besides fish sperm facials?
Well, we do it all: Botox, fillers,
CoolSculpting, ozone ear fuckilation,
vaginal tightening,
vaginal loosening,
photosynthesis,
ultraviolet floopee-doops.
And as a new client bonus,
we'll suck out your pube
fat with a crazy straw!
That is a bonus.
Yeah, plus, every client at Bodyface
Med Spa officially becomes
one of Wanda Jo's Little Hoes!
- I've always wanted to be a little hoe!
- Yes!
At Bodyface Med Spa, we can
make you anything you want to be.
Now, scram, John,
I've got an ad to shoot!
Get out of here!
Come on girls, come on out!
No.
I actually don't like this.
This is bad. No,
I don't want any part of this!
All right, that is our show,
thank you so much for watching!
We'll see you next week,
good night! That's actually too much.
- No!
- We're gonna get you, John!
I don't like it!
- No! Stop it!
- We're gonna get you, Johnny!