Last Week Tonight With John Oliver (2014) s12e24 Episode Script
Netanyahu
Welcome to "Last Week Tonight"!
I'm John Oliver, thank you so much
for joining us. It has been a busy week!
Jimmy Kimmel returned to air,
Pete Hegseth ordered a rare, urgent
meeting of top military officials,
and in New York,
the UN General Assembly convened
and Trump gave quite a speech.
Trump used his speech
to urge countries to stop focusing
so much on climate change.
It's the greatest con job ever
perpetrated on the world, in my opinion.
And he warned them
to be tougher on immigration.
It's time to end the failed
experiment of open borders.
You have to end it now. I can tell you.
I'm really good at this stuff.
Your countries are going to hell.
Yeah, pretty striking.
And if it wasn't bad enough to say,
"Your countries are going to hell",
the theme of the General Assembly
this year was, and this is true,
"Better Together".
Though I'm guessing,
after what Trump just said,
next year's theme might well be
"Let's at least agree, fuck that guy."
In that speech, Trump also complained
that his teleprompter wasn't working,
and that he'd just got stuck
on the escalator.
It was all such chaos,
it seemed to infect CNN,
when they tried
to cover the speech afterwards.
CNN National Security Correspondent
Kylie Atwood is at the UN.
So, Kylie, what was the reaction
like there?
I'm not hearing anything now.
I shouldn't be, I guess?
Okay. All right.
Looks like we lost Kylie.
We'll try to bring her back when
we can. But a few minutes ago,
the president met one-on-one
with the UN Secretary General,
and he struck a different tone.
He told them the United States is
with the United Nations, 100%.
Hans, what do you think about the way
the president reacted to this,
to how he addressed the world
in this situation there?
No, don't throw to Hans!
Hans is not ready!
He looks like someone just walked in
on him taking a shit.
He looks like he just saw Minnie Mouse
take off her costume at Disney World
to reveal
his mother's bare breasts.
He looks like he just read
the Epstein files
and the only name in it
was "Hans".
I don't think
he's even supposed to be there.
I think his cardiologist's office
is just in the same building
and he got lost looking for it.
That is a completely random Hans.
Even for Trump,
this was a truly bonkers week,
from ranting that pregnant women
shouldn't take Tylenol,
to posting a string of tariffs
on various products,
including all
"heavy, parentheses, big!, trucks",
to announcing he'd be sending
troops to "war ravaged Portland".
And then there was this.
This morning, former FBI Director
James Comey
has been indicted
on two felony counts.
One charge of making
a false statement to Congress
and another for obstruction
of a congressional proceeding.
Moments after Comey's indictment,
Trump posting online,
"Justice in America!"
calling the former FBI director
one of the worst human beings this
country has ever been exposed to.
Okay, first, that really is
the pot calling the kettle
"one of the worst pots this country's
ever been exposed to."
But also, that phrase just doesn't
hit as hard as it used to.
Before the internet,
it had some heft, but now,
we're constantly exposed to videos of
people acting like monsters on airplanes
or giving tearful apologies
with titles like
"Why I Yelled the C-Word
at a Baby",
with the answer being,
"she had it coming."
When it comes to exposure
to terrible human beings,
I think we're at saturation point.
And look, everyone knows
Trump doesn't like Comey.
Nor, by the way,
does anybody else.
Hating Comey might be one
of Trump's most relatable qualities.
But this case seems incredibly weak.
It centers on congressional testimony
that he gave in 2020,
where he reiterated that he'd never
authorized anyone at the FBI
to leak information about investigations
into either Trump or Hillary Clinton.
The government
is now claiming that's a lie,
but it's worth noting, the DOJ had
twice looked into Comey's alleged leaks
during Trump's first term
and declined to prosecute.
And another, months-long
investigation earlier this year
also reportedly
"failed to establish probable cause."
Even the acting U.S. attorney
in Virginia, appointed by Trump,
apparently refused to prosecute it.
That is something Trump
raged about last week,
in a post addressed to Attorney General
Pam Bondi, that read,
"Pam: I've reviewed over 30 statements
and posts saying that, essentially,
'same old story as last time,
all talk, no action.'
We can't delay any longer, it's
killing our reputation and credibility.
They impeached me twice and
indicted me five times over nothing.
Justice must be served, now!"
Which isn't just a blatant attempt
at abuse of power,
it's embarrassing, to post,
"Pam, this is killing our reputation."
Sounds less like a president, and more
like a head cheerleader
texting a girl on the squad
who just got bangs.
"What are you doing, Pam?
We don't do bangs."
Now, in the wake of Trump's post,
that U.S. attorney was forced out,
only to be conveniently replaced
by someone much more amenable
to taking the Comey case forward,
albeit, significantly less qualified.
The charges against Comey
were brought by Lindsey Halligan,
President Trump's personal lawyer,
who was handpicked by the president
as the new U.S. attorney
for the eastern district of Virginia,
earlier this week.
Halligan
has no prosecutorial experience
and has worked mostly
on insurance cases.
That is true!
And it does make sense,
when you bring a case against
the former director of the FBI,
you definitely want it to be the maiden
voyage of an insurance lawyer.
But, I will say, what she lacks
in prosecutorial experience,
she more than makes up for
in random insurance facts
and a shitload of undereye concealer.
And it is fine for me to say that
because, A, one of the women
on my staff wrote that joke,
I am assuming,
and B, it's okay to make fun
of a woman's appearance again,
that is why I voted for him.
And look, Comey has pledged
to fight this in court.
And experts suggest
he's in a strong position to win
or even to get the case thrown out
on the grounds
that this prosecution
is vindictive or selective.
Again, not only did Trump openly
call for Comey's prosecution publicly,
he's been unable to shut the fuck up
about it since the indictment,
as this ABC reporter
tried to convey.
This morning, just moments ago,
he is out on social media.
He is repeatedly attacking Comey,
calling him a dirty cock, cop,
saying that, first,
a very big price must be paid.
Now, obviously,
she stumbled there.
And Trump didn't actually
call Comey a "dirty cock",
we double checked,
and it was, indeed, "dirty cop".
But the fact that we weren't 100% sure
is kind of damning in and of itself.
But the whole point of charging Comey
may not even be to win the case,
but to demonstrate to anyone
who opposes Trump
that there'll be
a price to pay for that.
And his authoritarian tendencies
seem, if anything, to be getting worse.
Just this week, he suggested some
prominent donors to liberal causes
should be investigated for possibly
funding domestic terrorism.
He's essentially inverting our entire
criminal justice process,
instead of identifying crimes,
and figuring out who did them,
he seems to be identifying who
he wants labeled as criminals
and figuring out what crimes
he can stick to them.
It is bewildering, it is horrifying,
and it's honestly
a little hard to sum up in words.
If only there were a facial expression
to convey what it feels like
to live through this particular
moment in history.
Thankfully, I think Hans here
has got us all covered.
And now, this.
And Now: Local News Covers the
Rapture as Only Local News Can.
A lot of people think that today's
if this is our last day on Earth?
Well, if it's the last day,
it was a pretty good one.
We had a couple showers out there,
temps were above average.
This is all according to TikTok,
unofficially calling it "RaptureTok".
The Rapture is trending,
and pertinently,
it's scheduled for some
time today into tomorrow.
We want to know, do you think
the Rapture is coming this week?
And you can participate
by scanning the QR code.
People have been creating
these post-Rapture kits,
which includes notes for those
people who are still on Earth
Megan, it's a nice sunrise
for you this morning,
but a lot of us are not supposed
to be here according to TikTok.
- What do you mean?
- You remember what today is?
- What? What is today?
- It was supposed to be the Rapture.
- I don't know what that is.
- Okay, don't worry about it then.
Moving on.
Our main story tonight
concerns forced monkey labor
on coconut plantations.
It is real, by the way!
Monkeys are apparently captured
and raised to harvest coconuts.
And you're probably thinking:
"Fuck. This is gonna ruin
coconuts for me, isn't it?
I'm never gonna be able
to enjoy them again
without the mental image
of a chained up monkey
forced to work long hours
in the Thai sun for pay that is,
I'm guessing, well below
Thai monkey minimum wage."
I've got some good news:
we're not actually talking
about blood coconuts tonight.
That was just a decoy,
so you'd be less bummed out
when I revealed our real topic:
Israel.
Suddenly, forced monkey labor
sounds pretty good to you, doesn't it?
Please, John, tell me
about the sad monkeys!
Is one named Bobo?
Is he already dead?
No, sorry, you had your chance.
We're doing Israel.
Israel is a country that I'm guessing
you're already aware of,
but in case you need a primer on
its exact size and location,
here is someone
with a helpful visual.
It's a small country in terms of land.
See this pen, this wonderful pen?
My desk is the Middle East. And this
pen, the top of the pen, that's Israel.
That's not good, right?
It's a pretty big difference.
I use that as analogy.
It's pretty accurate, actually.
So, that's objectively very funny.
From him calling the pen "wonderful",
to holding it up vertically,
the only wrong way to hold it
if you're comparing it to
a country on a horizontal map,
to taking credit for that analogy
as if it weren't definitely
how an exhausted aide just taught him
the size of Israel minutes before.
Specifically, we're gonna talk about
Israel's prime minister,
Benjamin Netanyahu,
Bibi if you're nasty,
otherwise known as the original
source material for Mr. Potato Head.
Netanyahu has been in power,
on and off, since 1996,
to the point that he's Israel's
longest-serving prime minister.
And for decades,
he's portrayed himself
as the only person
capable of keeping Israel safe,
sometimes making that argument
through fun campaign ads,
like this one, where a couple
are getting ready to go out,
wondering where their babysitter is,
when this happens.
Mr. Prime Minister!
What an honor!
But what are you doing here?
You ordered a babysitter?
You got a Bibi-sitter!
Where are the children?
But you're the prime minister.
You're going to take care
of our children?
This election, you will choose
who will care for our children.
This election,
Likud is the only choice.
Yeah, I mean,
I guess the name "Bibi"
does kind of sound like the word
"baby," but it is a bit of a stretch.
Though, it's not the worst use of
a nickname in a political campaign,
because that'd be when Richard Nixon
was the subject of campaign buttons
that said, "My pick is Dick".
Which would actually be a great
prop for a gender reveal party.
Come in, guess how many diapers,
then grab a button
that's either "my pick is dick"
or "I got twat".
Bad news: the losing team
has to listen to the mother-in-law
tell her birth story.
Netanyahu's argument to voters
has always been
that he's a big, strong guy
who won't let Israel get pushed around.
And even some of his most ardent
supporters describe him
as a belligerent piece of shit.
Here are some,
explaining their support for him
ahead of an election in the '90s.
Only Bibi!
He's the number one politician
in the country: Bibi Netanyahu!
He has a mouth that can wrap
the whole country around his finger.
We need a prime minister to stand up
to the world, not a sucker!
Someone who knows
how to lie, too.
We need a prime minister
who's an asshole, son of a bitch!
That is pretty damning.
What kind of person are you
when even your biggest fans
are going,
"This guy's a fucking nightmare,
it's a yes from me!"
Also, stop interviewing that guy
while he's still driving!
No one wants a news alert that says,
"12 car pileup on highway."
"We were first on the scene
because we kinda caused it."
And in recent years,
Netanyahu's pushed that whole notion
of "a strong offense"
to the absolute limits.
Just this year, he's continued
to preside
over the longest and deadliest war
in Israel's history,
he's starved Gaza, bombed Iran,
and carried out airstrikes in Qatar,
Yemen, Syria and Lebanon.
It seems like someone gave him
a "rise and grind" coffee mug
and he took it
sociopathically literally.
But it is worth knowing:
Netanyahu, and his coalition,
are not currently that popular
in Israel.
Polls continue to show his coalition
would lose the next election,
were it to be held today.
And many of his fellow politicians
don't seem big fans, either,
with Bibi's former ambassador
to the U.S. saying
he's "unable to distinguish between
personal and political interests"
and even this minister in his
government calling him,
at one point,
"a danger to the State of Israel."
Which is pretty direct,
from a political ally.
In this country,
the most damning thing
a Republican's been brave enough
to say publicly about Trump
was Mitch McConnell suggesting
we're living through a time
with "certain
similarities to the '30s."
And if you're thinking, "Wait,
did he mean that thing?"
"Or just that ankle hemlines
are coming back in fashion?"
The answer's neither,
he was apparently referring
to the Smoot-Hawley tariff bill,
which is definitely
where all our heads went
when he dropped
the 1930s reference.
But despite all that,
Netanyahu always seems to find
a way to hang onto power.
He's been unseated
as prime minister twice,
only to come back each time.
The point is, years from now,
when people tell the story
of Israel's brutality in Gaza,
they'll need to talk about the history
of Israel's founding mission,
the complex politics
of the Middle East,
America's choice to give
more military aid to Israel
than any other country in history
and a thousand other things.
But they'll also need to tell the story
of one Benjamin Netanyahu,
a man so singularly focused
on remaining in power,
he's allied with the most
extreme voices in his country.
So given that, tonight, let's talk
about Netanyahu.
And let's start
with some background.
He grew up with a father who was
a well-known proponent
of an uncompromising form
of Zionism called Revisionist Zionism,
which focused on the need
for a military force strong enough
to "compel the Arabs to accept
a Jewish state on their native land."
Bibi actually spent some
formative years in the U.S.,
attending high school
in Philadelphia.
In his mid-20s, his brother,
Yoni, a commander in the IDF,
was killed while rescuing more than
100 Israelis who'd been taken hostage
after a plane hijacking
and he was hailed as a national hero.
And following that,
Bibi, who was still living in the U.S.
and going by "Ben Nitay",
began to get more attention,
and he got pretty good
at arguing Israel's case.
Here he is on a Boston-area
TV show.
Mr. Nitay, is the issue
of self determination
the core
of the conflict in the Middle East?
No, I don't believe it is.
The real core of the conflict
is the unfortunate Arab refusal
to accept the state of Israel.
Yeah, that was a young Netanyahu
defending Israel on Boston TV.
That program, by the way:
"Tawkin' Sox with Chip and Chowder."
Over the years, the show's held
some surprisingly nuanced debates
on issues
like the Middle East conflict,
as well as how many penises
Derek Jeter could fit in his mouth.
After returning to Israel, Netanyahu
got into international diplomacy,
becoming ambassador to the UN,
and ultimately moved into politics
as chair
of the right-wing Likud Party,
where he made his name campaigning
against the historic Oslo Accords.
They famously laid out
a framework for Israel
negotiating peace
with the Palestinians.
And Netanyahu, in particular,
railed against the prime minister
who signed those accords on
Israel's behalf, Yitzhak Rabin.
Bibi went scorched earth,
even speaking at an infamous rally
where the crowd burned images
of Rabin in a Nazi uniform,
and chanted for his death.
Just a month later, he was assassinated
by a far-right extremist.
And many blamed Netanyahu
for stoking the anger
that led to that assassination,
including Rabin's widow.
To what extent do you blame
Mr. Netanyahu and the Likud
for what has happened?
I do blame them.
The rally in Kikar Tziyon in Jerusalem
that showed him
in the uniform of a Nazi.
So, Mr. Bibi Netanyahu, now
he can say from here to eternity
that he didn't support it
and didn't agree with it,
but he was there,
and he didn't stop it.
Right. Now, Netanyahu denies
inciting political violence.
And in his defense,
it's not like he was filmed
leading a mock funeral procession,
before Rabin's death,
with a coffin labeled
"Rabin kills Zionism" in Hebrew.
Except, of course, he was very much
filmed doing exactly that.
There is Netanyahu,
right in front of one of the bluntest
and most unfortunate
metaphors imaginable.
Honestly, the only way that could
get any more on the nose
is if he'd held a sign
reading "plausible deniability"
and burned that too.
Now, in the wake
of Rabin's assassination,
many thought Netanyahu
was politically finished.
But the next year, a series
of Hamas suicide bombings
seemed to turn the public mood
towards his case that
pursuing peace was pointless,
and Netanyahu was elected prime
minister for the first time in 1996.
It's a position he's served in, on
and off, for 17 of the last 30 years.
And a key claim he's repeatedly made
is boasting that he can bring the U.S.
along with whatever he does.
Here he is in 2001,
during a period out of power,
talking to settlers in the West Bank
and explaining that,
if back in charge, he'd be able
to aggressively support them
and convince America to back him.
The world won't say anything.
The world will say
Aren't you afraid of the world, Bibi?
Especially today with America,
I know what America is.
America is something
that can be easily pushed.
Pushed to the right direction.
"America can be easily pushed."
Even if that is true,
it's insulting to hear out loud.
If I heard someone
on my staff say,
"I know how to get John
to do exactly what you want,
he's so horny for horses,
just show him this picture,
and he'll forget
the next three things you say",
I'd be, one, furious, two,
intensely curious to see that picture,
and I can't remember
what the third thing is.
Just show me that
fucking photo right now!
And to be fair, Bibi's had a lot
of success in pushing America,
particularly with Republican presidents
and especially with Donald Trump.
In fact, it was during Trump's first
term that Netanyahu celebrated
what he considered his greatest
foreign policy triumph,
the Abraham Accords,
which normalized diplomatic relations
with several Arab states,
most notably the UAE
and Bahrain.
It was a plan supported
by Jared Kushner,
who Trump, of course, put
in charge of "fixing the Middle East"
during his first term,
even though he always looks
like he just got his hair cut
while sitting
in a plastic racecar chair.
The thing about the Abraham Accords
was they got those other nations
to abandon the longstanding
condition among many Arab countries
that relations
with Israel could only come
after the establishment
of a Palestinian state.
Netanyahu's thinking was:
if you can just get
enough Arab nations to do that,
you could basically
freeze the Palestinians out.
He's been trying to get Saudi Arabia
to sign on next,
but it's worth knowing many observers
have warned that these accords
were always just gonna end up
further marginalizing Palestinians.
He said, "We are going to have peace
with Saudi Arabia,
and the Palestinians
should not have a veto on that."
I've long sought to make peace
with the Palestinians.
But I also believe that we must not
give the Palestinians a veto
over new peace treaties
with Arab states.
Which is, in a different language,
from my point of view,
Sorry, but excuse my French.
I'm sorry,
but I will not excuse your French.
The only person allowed to say "fuck"
while discussing diplomatic
complexities on TV is me.
Because if I lose that,
I'm little more than a streamer
"explaining the news"
so that a dead-eyed 14-year-old
can swipe past me without noticing
that, unlike most streamers,
I'm in a very expensive room.
But second, yeah, of course it was
a "fuck-you" to the Palestinians.
That shouldn't be surprising.
Everything Netanyahu does
has that as a side effect.
If he could pour a bowl of cereal
in a way that makes conditions
in Gaza meaningfully worse,
he would do that,
and don't think
that he doesn't have Israel's
top geopolitical cereal scientists
working on how to make
that dream come true.
But obviously, while many focus
on Netanyahu's foreign policy,
he's also a domestic leader.
And at home, his time in office
has increasingly been defined
by attempts to cling to power,
even as he's faced
allegations of corruption,
including charges of bribery and fraud
in three separate cases.
And while he denies those charges,
to run through them very quickly,
the first accuses him of accepting
nearly 300.000 dollars in gifts,
including cigars and champagne,
from prominent businessmen.
And I will say: it is not a great look
that one of those businessmen
has testified that Bibi and his wife
used code words for the gifts,
with cigars being called "leaves"
and champagne
being called "roses".
Which is just inherently suspicious.
People only use code words
for illicit activities,
as anyone who's ever been
disappointed by a Craigslist ad
offering to go "skiing with Tina Turner"
has discovered.
"Wait, hold on,
that means cocaine and meth?
No. I was looking for
a different kind of great time."
The two other cases both accuse him
of quid pro quo's
involving major news platforms,
this newspaper, and this website, Walla.
In that case, prosecutors say
he granted regulatory favors
to the owner of Walla
in exchange for positive coverage
of himself and his wife.
And just listen to Walla's former
editor in-chief explain
how particular Netanyahu could be.
Netanyahu wanted positive coverage
so that anyone
who visits Walla frequently
would think
he's the King David of Israel.
That he's the wonderful leader
leading Israel.
He wanted his wife to be pleased,
that she'd look good in photographs.
How many photos were there?
How were the photos?
Did they have the right angle?
We felt like a restaurant
serving only one person.
He arrives, and he wants
that meat, and this salad,
and gets whatever he wants.
So, we used code words, like "parsley"
was the request for more photos".
Add lots of 'parsley'
to the dish coming out!
True, apparently, "lots of parsley"
meant more photos.
Which is kind of brilliant,
because no one would ever say
"add more parsley"
about their actual food.
Parsley tastes like nothing.
It's like Shrek trimmed his pubes
while standing
directly over your soup.
It's fine, Shrek, it's fine.
I'll just eat around it. It's fine.
Netanyahu is supposed
to finish testifying this year,
but has tried
to drag out the process,
to the point that it could still take
years to reach a verdict.
And crucially, if convicted,
he could be sentenced to up to 10 years
in prison for the bribery charge,
and up to three for fraud
and breach of trust,
which is a lot for a guy
pushing 76
and who's allegedly spent years
mainlining free cigars and champagne.
And he's not the only one in his family
who enjoys a lavish lifestyle.
Take Bibi's third and current wife,
Sara.
She's been called
Israel's Marie Antoinette,
and has been accused of abusive
behavior towards her household staff,
which she both denies and has
twice paid out damages for.
Bibi and Sara have also been accused
of misspending taxpayer money,
from 1.700 dollars on scented candles
to 127.000 dollars to have a plane
fitted with a double bed to attend
the funeral of Margaret Thatcher.
And to be fair,
scented candles and the sight
of Thatcher's corpse?
They needed that bed. I'm rock
hard even thinking about it.
Now, in 2019,
Sara even accepted a plea bargain
to settle accusations she spent
100.000 dollars in public funds
to order meals from celebrity chefs.
I cannot think of a single celebrity
chef I would spend that much on,
except what's his face, the one
who's yelling all the time.
No. No, not him.
Yes! That's the one.
That is the one.
Now, when those charges first arose,
Sara tried to get out in front of them
by giving a reality host a tour
of their official residence
to try and show off
their modest lifestyle.
And she seemed delighted
to have him joke about the squalor
that they were forced to live in.
I think that this door has been
painted 1.000 times.
It's been painted a lot.
- What is this?
- A lamp just broke and it was glued.
What is this?
I'm sorry, like, what is this?
I'm in shock that
this is your kitchen.
It looks like the kitchen of a boarding
school in Romania in 1954.
What's this here in the back?
This here is the closet?
I think Anne Frank
is hiding here in the back.
Unless there is a second Anne Frank
that I'm unaware of,
that is a rough reference.
"Do eight people live here"
"in terror of an organized system
of ethnic extermination?"
"Because these cabinets are ratchet!"
And while Sara's giggling and smiling
there, she has a temper.
In 2002, she was recorded saying,
"Bibi is bigger than this country."
"Why should he bother? We'll move
abroad, and the whole country can burn."
And while I don't need to show you
this next clip, I do want to.
Because back in 2009,
a newspaper gossip column
published an item about Sara
attending a charity event
but didn't mention her
professional credentials.
It's a slight that she then discussed
with one of her aides,
on a call that, it turns out,
was recorded. And it is a lot.
We must help the refugees
from Darfur.
I'm doing it! As a professional,
as an educated woman!
A psychologist! BA-MA.
That's it!
But it says in the first sentence
you are a psychologist.
No. Is he getting a call
from you reprimanding him?
"The prime minister's wife,
obligated to public service?"
Why?! This prime minister's wife
does public service every day!
In her professional capacity!
Oh, my God!
That is just an iconic meltdown.
If that happened today,
we'd have been buried
under eight solid months of TikToks
using the sound
"psee-cho-lo-geest!
B-A, M-A!"
That should be put on the diva
Mount Rushmore of lashing out
alongside Reese Witherspoon's
"you're about to find out who I am",
Will Smith's slap, and Christian Bale's
"oh, good for you!"
And I don't say that lightly.
Now, the drumbeat of scandals
surrounding Netanyahu,
and his reactions to them,
led more centrist parties in Israel
to decide they wouldn't
form a coalition with him,
forcing him to drift to the right.
So, when he returned
as prime minister in 2022,
it was by relying heavily
on two constituencies
even further to the right than he is,
the ultra-Orthodox religious parties
and the far-right ultranationalists.
And they are extreme.
Because his inner circle now includes
people like Itamar Ben-Gvir,
a man once labeled
"The 'David Duke of Israel'".
A nickname I'm pretty sure
would make the actual
David Duke's head explode.
It's like calling someone
the J.K. Rowling of trans people.
How?
How does that work exactly?
Netanyahu has made
Ben-Gvir national security minister,
and he is a hardline believer
in the settlement movement,
which, as we've discussed
on this show before,
aims to establish enough settlements
in the occupied West Bank
to essentially annex the territory,
despite most of the world,
and international law, recognizing
those settlements as illegal.
Ben-Gvir's history of extremism
goes way back, though.
On his first date
with his future wife,
they visited the grave of
an extremist settler who, in 1994,
gunned down 29 Muslim worshippers.
Which doesn't just reflect bad on him,
it reflects badly on his wife too.
Because that should've raised a lot
of questions, none of them being,
"Do you want to go on a second date?"
And here is Ben-Gvir, shortly
before Rabin's assassination,
bragging about having gotten close
enough to Rabin's car
to steal his hood ornament.
You managed to remove the emblem
from Rabin's car.
An emblem is a symbol.
And this symbol shows
that just like we can get to Rabin's
car, we can get to Rabin.
That is chilling.
And for what it's worth,
I'm not even sure Rabin
would've got that message.
Because when he noticed
his hood ornament was gone,
I'm guessing he thought,
"Shit, some asshole stole the little
Cadillac thing from my hood"
and not, "I shouldn't have
signed the Oslo Accords!"
"I better unsign it, before
they come back for my hubcaps!"
Since then, Ben-Gvir's been convicted
on at least eight charges,
including supporting a terrorist
organization and incitement to racism.
In fact, as recently
as three years ago,
Netanyahu refused
to share a stage with him,
or even be seen with him
in photographs, once saying
he was "not fit" to be
a member of his government.
But now, of course,
he very much is.
Then there's Bezalel Smotrich,
Netanyahu's finance minister.
Smotrich once called himself
a "proud homophobe"
and helped organize
an "anti-gay 'Beast Parade.'"
As if the phrase "beast parade"
didn't already like the most
out and proud thing on earth.
It sounds like a brand of poppers
that's been recalled.
It sounds like a Fire Island party
where the only dress code is "edible".
It sounds like a bar in WeHo
where a lost tourist from Iowa
just woke up
to the rest of his life.
Smotrich is a willful provocateur,
often saying things like this
on the floor of the Knesset.
Thank you, Chairman.
My fellow members of Knesset,
I want to stand here
and say unequivocally,
there is no such thing
as the Palestinian people, period.
There is none.
There was none. Period.
Yeah, pretty offensive.
And while he's clearly saying that
to get a reaction there, the phrase,
"There's no such thing
as the Palestinian people"
also sounds like something that
Smotrich says to help himself climax.
This man
is an unapologetic extremist.
He's suggested that
the starvation of Gazan civilians,
a war crime,
may be "just and moral"
and he's led the cause
for the West Bank to be annexed.
And that is just two of the,
to use a polite term,
absolute nightmares
central to Netanyahu's coalition,
with another key constituency
being the ultra-Orthodox.
Now, one of that group's
biggest concerns
is preserving a religious exemption
that allows them
to skip the mandatory military service
required of most young Israelis.
That exemption is understandably
pretty unpopular in Israel,
with resentment only growing
as the war in Gaza's dragged on.
But Netanyahu's shown himself
to be committed
to delivering
for his extremist partners.
And a big flashpoint
came in early 2023,
he moved against Israel's judiciary,
specifically, its Supreme Court.
That is something that the far-right
has wanted, for a bunch of reasons.
The ultra-Orthodox were furious
that the court had ruled against
their military exemption,
and the settlements crowd
saw it as an obstacle
to expansion in the West Bank.
So, Netanyahu, who, remember,
was facing corruption charges,
so had his own reasons
to undermine the court,
pushed for a judicial reform bill
that'd substantially reduce
its oversight of government.
And that move did not go down well
with much of the Israeli public.
All day, protesters gathered in
Jerusalem and other Israeli cities.
They say it's not just that
the proposed legislation
would reduce judicial checks
and balances on the government,
but it would also rob Israel
of its identity as a democracy.
Maybe the most surreal protest
was by Navy SEALs,
reservist frogmen, who, like other
members of the Israeli military,
believe that the government's plans
are undemocratic.
Yeah, people were so mad,
they protested underwater.
And you know things are getting bad
when the protests start to stretch
all the way
to Bikini fucking Bottom.
And that was where things stood
for Netanyahu in early 2023.
But then, of course, in October,
things changed tragically
when Hamas launched the worst
terrorist attack in Israel's history,
killing some 1.200 people
and taking 251 hostages,
48 of whom
are still held in Gaza today,
with around 20
believed to still be alive.
No one would say Netanyahu
personally caused October 7th.
But he has definitely ensured
that what's come after
has caused more suffering than what
might otherwise have been the case.
As we've discussed before,
for years,
he deliberately allowed Qatar
to funnel money into Gaza,
literally sending suitcases full of
money there in the backseats of cars.
And he did this
to try and keep Hamas in power,
as it meant that he didn't have to deal
with their more moderate rival,
the Palestinian Authority.
It was a massive gamble,
and it is one that Israeli journalists
still talk about today
in utter disbelief.
This money was spent on digging
tunnels and buying rockets
and producing weapons
now killing Israelis.
While Netanyahu was telling us
that he was our great protector,
he was actually contributing,
not directly,
to building Hamas
and making it a regional power.
It's true. Netanyahu was secretly
helping beef up the very organization
that he claimed to be protecting
Israelis against.
And he was open
about his thinking here.
He once told
a prominent Israeli journalist
that a strong Hamas
was actually a good thing,
as it meant a divided Palestinian
government,
which would lessen the pressure on him
to negotiate toward a Palestinian state.
And sure, if something's a threat,
why not make it more dangerous?
It's like the classic advice,
if you're ever threatened by a bear,
give the bear a gun as part
of a long-term strategy
to make negotiation with that bear
less diplomatically feasible.
What is the worst
that could happen?
But that's not the only way
in which Netanyahu
underestimated Hamas's threat.
He also reportedly blew off a warning
from Israel's internal security chief
that the country faced a challenge
at its doorstep with Hamas,
which Netanyahu dismissed, arguing
that Hamas had been deterred.
And that is a statement
that has frankly aged worse
than when Ellen had shirts that
said, "Be kind to one another"
or when Eric Adams gave Sean Combs
the key to New York City in 2023,
or when Colbert's show released
this interview on YouTube,
"Armie Hammer Ate NYC Street
Meat, And Lived To Eat Another Day."
And now,
Israel is embroiled in a war which,
according to Human Rights Watch,
Amnesty, scores of experts,
and an independent commission
at the UN, constitutes a genocide.
Last year, the ICC issued arrest
warrants for Netanyahu and others,
charging them with war crimes.
But of course, his supporters
didn't quite see it that way.
This doesn't have any validity.
Netanyahu and Israeli Defense Force
are doing their very best
for the State of Israel.
And I'm sorry that the Hague
and the international court
cannot appreciate that.
Okay, a pretty good sign
that you're not in the right
is if you find yourself saying,
"I'm sorry that the Hague"
"and the international court
cannot appreciate that,"
no matter what comes before it!
If she had said, "'The Roses'
is a witty exploration"
"of the trials of modern marriage
and I'm sorry the Hague"
"and the international court
cannot appreciate that",
it'd be fair to wonder
what the fuck was in that movie!
And responses like that are especially
wild once you learn the extent
to which Netanyahu has been
personally responsible
for keeping this war going.
Reporting's found
that at key stages,
his decisions extended
the fighting in Gaza longer
than even Israel's military
leadership deemed necessary.
For instance, just this March,
he broke a ceasefire,
and blamed Hamas's refusal
to release more hostages
before negotiations could proceed,
even though that was not part
of the ceasefire agreement.
In reality, it was actually Netanyahu
caving to far-right ministers,
like Smotrich,
who'd threatened,
"If God forbid, the war is not resumed,
I will bring the government down."
Even now, Netanyahu's forged ahead
with a ground offensive
to take Gaza City, over the objections
of his own military leaders
and in defiance
of global condemnation.
Now, as for Smotrich, he's openly
talking about the annexation of Gaza.
Just listen to him outline those plans
at a conference last week,
in the grossest possible terms.
There's a business plan set by
the most professional people there is.
And it's on President Trump's table,
and how this thing turns
into a real estate bonanza.
I'm not kidding. It pays off.
I've started
negotiations with the Americans.
I say this not jokingly now,
because I also demand,
we paid a lot of money for this war,
so we need to divide
how we make a percentage
on the land marketing later in Gaza.
And now, no kidding,
we've done the demolition phase,
which is always the first phase of
urban renewal. Now, we need to build.
Holy shit.
He's referring to mass murder and
displacement as "urban renewal".
That is stretching
a euphemism to breaking point.
It's basically like calling the Trail
of Tears "high speed mass transit".
That is not remotely what that was.
And again,
it is impossible to overstate
the death and suffering
Netanyahu's decisions have caused,
to the over 65.000 Palestinians
who are dead,
the thousands of children
who are amputees,
and the thousands more
who are starving.
But also to the Israeli hostages
who've either died
or are still being held
because of his refusal to prioritize
their safety and freedom.
It is all truly horrifying.
And somehow, in the midst of all this,
in June, he launched yet
another war, attacking Iran,
claiming they were on the verge
of developing a nuclear weapon,
something that he's been claiming
for three fucking decades now.
Even after a U.S.-brokered ceasefire
was supposed to stop the hostilities,
Netanyahu continued
to antagonize Iran,
which finally seemed
to wear on Trump's patience.
Israel, as soon as we made the deal,
they came out
and dropped a load of bombs the likes
of which I've never seen before.
The biggest load that we've seen.
I'm not happy with Israel.
You know what we have?
We basically have two countries
that have been fighting so long
and so hard
that they don't know what the fuck
they're doing. Do you understand that?
Yeah, he is pissed there.
Though I guess that shouldn't be
that surprising,
it's one of the six moods
Trump displays in public.
There's pissed, bored, asleep,
a little horny, a lot horny,
blissed out on the energy
of a cheering crowd
and momentarily oblivious to the
crushing void that yawns within him,
and of course, pissed:
formal edition.
Perhaps because
of Trump's irritation though,
not long after that, Netanyahu nominated
him for the Nobel Peace Prize,
and went on Trump's
favorite news network to say this.
If anyone deserves the Nobel
Peace Prize, it's President Trump.
First of all, he brokered with me
the historic Abraham Accords
in which Israel made peace
with four Arab states.
I think that deserves maybe
four Nobel Prizes for him.
Look, I don't know what is more
embarrassing there,
how thick he's laying on the flattery,
or how likely it is to work.
I'd give Trump an extralarge
Nobel Prize. A Super Nobel, if you will.
And instead of that dead Swede
on the side
it'd have a chick with huge bazongas.
That'd be more appropriate
to Mr. Trump's greatness.
It is very clear that Netanyahu's
desperate to stay in power,
and will do whatever it takes.
Which, on a personal level
makes sense,
if you are facing a potential
prison term,
you probably want every bit of leverage
you can get to avoid that happening.
But some Israelis do recognize
the dynamic at work here,
and are understandably furious
about it.
Just look at this coverage
of a protest there last month.
These protestors in the center
of Tel Aviv are absolutely furious
at their government's decision
to expand its military operations
inside the Gaza Strip.
This one says,
"Bibi betrays the fighters",
"Bibi betrays the soldiers,
the fighters."
He sends them to die,
he sends them to fight,
he sends them to commit war crimes,
and all for what? For what?
Well, his supporters
say it's to make Israel safer.
Well, no, it's to make Bibi safe,
and they believe
that when Bibi's safe, we're
safe, but I believe the opposite.
Yeah, I believe that, too!
And the thing is,
that's kind of the problem
with electing someone
because
he's an "asshole son of a bitch",
you do wind up being governed
by someone who's an asshole
and a son of a bitch.
The point is, Netanyahu
is not popular in Israel,
and he's increasingly unpopular
here, too.
A new poll found just 21% of Americans
have a favorable view of him.
Meanwhile, support for Palestinian
statehood is currently at 58% in U.S.
And just recently, a wave of countries,
including France,
the U.K., Canada, and Australia
all officially recognized
a Palestinian state.
In fact, as this map shows, the U.S.
is now one of the few countries,
and the only permanent member
of the UN Security Council,
that doesn't.
And sure, Netanyahu might claim
that he can easily push America back
into supporting him.
But I don't know
if that's true this time.
I think people have seen
a little too much at this point.
And let me be clear:
to attribute the atrocities in Gaza
to just one man would be naive.
It'd also ignore that,
while many Israelis vehemently disagree
with choices
that Netanyahu's made,
there's also a fair amount of consensus
there when it comes to deeper issues
like the inevitability of ongoing
Israeli occupation in general
and the acceptability of denying
self-determination to Palestinians.
Those are conversations and issues
that are gonna take much longer,
and be much harder to resolve.
In the short term, Israelis removing
this fucking guy from power
might at the very least bring a stop
to the horrific suffering in Gaza
and bring the hostages home.
The next election there is scheduled
to occur by next October,
though, if Netanyahu's coalition
ruptures, it could be earlier.
But whenever it happens,
to anyone in Israel who thinks,
like that woman, that he is just
doing his best to protect the country,
or that the ends justify the means,
that he is somehow
the "Bibi-sitter" everybody needs,
it is worth asking, just who is
Netanyahu really looking out for?
Is it the people of Israel who've
been put at risk by endless war?
Or is it the man who's spent
17 years as prime minister,
and seems willing to do whatever
it takes to squeeze out a few more?
I would argue
that it is the second one.
And I for one am looking
forward to the day
that Netanyahu is politically done.
Because if and when
that day finally comes,
it truly will be time to break out
the words
that I'm pretty sure
The "roses" and the fucking
"leaves." And now, this.
And Now: Everybody's Excited
About Fat Bear Week.
All right, big bears battle to become
badonkadonk chunk champs.
Take a look at this.
Just take a look at this.
It's time for nature's fluffiest
beauty pageant
and my favorite time of the year.
Fat Bear Week gets underway today.
The annual celebration
of heft from Alaska.
Think of it as March Madness,
but for big fat bears.
The contest started back in 2014
as a one-day event,
only drawing about 1.700 votes.
What is happening?
You can vote at
Fat-Bear-Week-dot-org.
I love Fat Bear Week. It makes me feel
better about myself, for some reason.
We already have a favorite contender.
Here we go.
This is Bear 901.
- Do you have any comments, Frankie?
- No.
Any comments
about big boned bears?
Big booty bears.
BBB. You know?
All I know is I have a truck payment.
And y'all not gonna mess that up.
You understand?
That's our show, thanks for watching.
We'll see you next week, good night!
I'm John Oliver, thank you so much
for joining us. It has been a busy week!
Jimmy Kimmel returned to air,
Pete Hegseth ordered a rare, urgent
meeting of top military officials,
and in New York,
the UN General Assembly convened
and Trump gave quite a speech.
Trump used his speech
to urge countries to stop focusing
so much on climate change.
It's the greatest con job ever
perpetrated on the world, in my opinion.
And he warned them
to be tougher on immigration.
It's time to end the failed
experiment of open borders.
You have to end it now. I can tell you.
I'm really good at this stuff.
Your countries are going to hell.
Yeah, pretty striking.
And if it wasn't bad enough to say,
"Your countries are going to hell",
the theme of the General Assembly
this year was, and this is true,
"Better Together".
Though I'm guessing,
after what Trump just said,
next year's theme might well be
"Let's at least agree, fuck that guy."
In that speech, Trump also complained
that his teleprompter wasn't working,
and that he'd just got stuck
on the escalator.
It was all such chaos,
it seemed to infect CNN,
when they tried
to cover the speech afterwards.
CNN National Security Correspondent
Kylie Atwood is at the UN.
So, Kylie, what was the reaction
like there?
I'm not hearing anything now.
I shouldn't be, I guess?
Okay. All right.
Looks like we lost Kylie.
We'll try to bring her back when
we can. But a few minutes ago,
the president met one-on-one
with the UN Secretary General,
and he struck a different tone.
He told them the United States is
with the United Nations, 100%.
Hans, what do you think about the way
the president reacted to this,
to how he addressed the world
in this situation there?
No, don't throw to Hans!
Hans is not ready!
He looks like someone just walked in
on him taking a shit.
He looks like he just saw Minnie Mouse
take off her costume at Disney World
to reveal
his mother's bare breasts.
He looks like he just read
the Epstein files
and the only name in it
was "Hans".
I don't think
he's even supposed to be there.
I think his cardiologist's office
is just in the same building
and he got lost looking for it.
That is a completely random Hans.
Even for Trump,
this was a truly bonkers week,
from ranting that pregnant women
shouldn't take Tylenol,
to posting a string of tariffs
on various products,
including all
"heavy, parentheses, big!, trucks",
to announcing he'd be sending
troops to "war ravaged Portland".
And then there was this.
This morning, former FBI Director
James Comey
has been indicted
on two felony counts.
One charge of making
a false statement to Congress
and another for obstruction
of a congressional proceeding.
Moments after Comey's indictment,
Trump posting online,
"Justice in America!"
calling the former FBI director
one of the worst human beings this
country has ever been exposed to.
Okay, first, that really is
the pot calling the kettle
"one of the worst pots this country's
ever been exposed to."
But also, that phrase just doesn't
hit as hard as it used to.
Before the internet,
it had some heft, but now,
we're constantly exposed to videos of
people acting like monsters on airplanes
or giving tearful apologies
with titles like
"Why I Yelled the C-Word
at a Baby",
with the answer being,
"she had it coming."
When it comes to exposure
to terrible human beings,
I think we're at saturation point.
And look, everyone knows
Trump doesn't like Comey.
Nor, by the way,
does anybody else.
Hating Comey might be one
of Trump's most relatable qualities.
But this case seems incredibly weak.
It centers on congressional testimony
that he gave in 2020,
where he reiterated that he'd never
authorized anyone at the FBI
to leak information about investigations
into either Trump or Hillary Clinton.
The government
is now claiming that's a lie,
but it's worth noting, the DOJ had
twice looked into Comey's alleged leaks
during Trump's first term
and declined to prosecute.
And another, months-long
investigation earlier this year
also reportedly
"failed to establish probable cause."
Even the acting U.S. attorney
in Virginia, appointed by Trump,
apparently refused to prosecute it.
That is something Trump
raged about last week,
in a post addressed to Attorney General
Pam Bondi, that read,
"Pam: I've reviewed over 30 statements
and posts saying that, essentially,
'same old story as last time,
all talk, no action.'
We can't delay any longer, it's
killing our reputation and credibility.
They impeached me twice and
indicted me five times over nothing.
Justice must be served, now!"
Which isn't just a blatant attempt
at abuse of power,
it's embarrassing, to post,
"Pam, this is killing our reputation."
Sounds less like a president, and more
like a head cheerleader
texting a girl on the squad
who just got bangs.
"What are you doing, Pam?
We don't do bangs."
Now, in the wake of Trump's post,
that U.S. attorney was forced out,
only to be conveniently replaced
by someone much more amenable
to taking the Comey case forward,
albeit, significantly less qualified.
The charges against Comey
were brought by Lindsey Halligan,
President Trump's personal lawyer,
who was handpicked by the president
as the new U.S. attorney
for the eastern district of Virginia,
earlier this week.
Halligan
has no prosecutorial experience
and has worked mostly
on insurance cases.
That is true!
And it does make sense,
when you bring a case against
the former director of the FBI,
you definitely want it to be the maiden
voyage of an insurance lawyer.
But, I will say, what she lacks
in prosecutorial experience,
she more than makes up for
in random insurance facts
and a shitload of undereye concealer.
And it is fine for me to say that
because, A, one of the women
on my staff wrote that joke,
I am assuming,
and B, it's okay to make fun
of a woman's appearance again,
that is why I voted for him.
And look, Comey has pledged
to fight this in court.
And experts suggest
he's in a strong position to win
or even to get the case thrown out
on the grounds
that this prosecution
is vindictive or selective.
Again, not only did Trump openly
call for Comey's prosecution publicly,
he's been unable to shut the fuck up
about it since the indictment,
as this ABC reporter
tried to convey.
This morning, just moments ago,
he is out on social media.
He is repeatedly attacking Comey,
calling him a dirty cock, cop,
saying that, first,
a very big price must be paid.
Now, obviously,
she stumbled there.
And Trump didn't actually
call Comey a "dirty cock",
we double checked,
and it was, indeed, "dirty cop".
But the fact that we weren't 100% sure
is kind of damning in and of itself.
But the whole point of charging Comey
may not even be to win the case,
but to demonstrate to anyone
who opposes Trump
that there'll be
a price to pay for that.
And his authoritarian tendencies
seem, if anything, to be getting worse.
Just this week, he suggested some
prominent donors to liberal causes
should be investigated for possibly
funding domestic terrorism.
He's essentially inverting our entire
criminal justice process,
instead of identifying crimes,
and figuring out who did them,
he seems to be identifying who
he wants labeled as criminals
and figuring out what crimes
he can stick to them.
It is bewildering, it is horrifying,
and it's honestly
a little hard to sum up in words.
If only there were a facial expression
to convey what it feels like
to live through this particular
moment in history.
Thankfully, I think Hans here
has got us all covered.
And now, this.
And Now: Local News Covers the
Rapture as Only Local News Can.
A lot of people think that today's
if this is our last day on Earth?
Well, if it's the last day,
it was a pretty good one.
We had a couple showers out there,
temps were above average.
This is all according to TikTok,
unofficially calling it "RaptureTok".
The Rapture is trending,
and pertinently,
it's scheduled for some
time today into tomorrow.
We want to know, do you think
the Rapture is coming this week?
And you can participate
by scanning the QR code.
People have been creating
these post-Rapture kits,
which includes notes for those
people who are still on Earth
Megan, it's a nice sunrise
for you this morning,
but a lot of us are not supposed
to be here according to TikTok.
- What do you mean?
- You remember what today is?
- What? What is today?
- It was supposed to be the Rapture.
- I don't know what that is.
- Okay, don't worry about it then.
Moving on.
Our main story tonight
concerns forced monkey labor
on coconut plantations.
It is real, by the way!
Monkeys are apparently captured
and raised to harvest coconuts.
And you're probably thinking:
"Fuck. This is gonna ruin
coconuts for me, isn't it?
I'm never gonna be able
to enjoy them again
without the mental image
of a chained up monkey
forced to work long hours
in the Thai sun for pay that is,
I'm guessing, well below
Thai monkey minimum wage."
I've got some good news:
we're not actually talking
about blood coconuts tonight.
That was just a decoy,
so you'd be less bummed out
when I revealed our real topic:
Israel.
Suddenly, forced monkey labor
sounds pretty good to you, doesn't it?
Please, John, tell me
about the sad monkeys!
Is one named Bobo?
Is he already dead?
No, sorry, you had your chance.
We're doing Israel.
Israel is a country that I'm guessing
you're already aware of,
but in case you need a primer on
its exact size and location,
here is someone
with a helpful visual.
It's a small country in terms of land.
See this pen, this wonderful pen?
My desk is the Middle East. And this
pen, the top of the pen, that's Israel.
That's not good, right?
It's a pretty big difference.
I use that as analogy.
It's pretty accurate, actually.
So, that's objectively very funny.
From him calling the pen "wonderful",
to holding it up vertically,
the only wrong way to hold it
if you're comparing it to
a country on a horizontal map,
to taking credit for that analogy
as if it weren't definitely
how an exhausted aide just taught him
the size of Israel minutes before.
Specifically, we're gonna talk about
Israel's prime minister,
Benjamin Netanyahu,
Bibi if you're nasty,
otherwise known as the original
source material for Mr. Potato Head.
Netanyahu has been in power,
on and off, since 1996,
to the point that he's Israel's
longest-serving prime minister.
And for decades,
he's portrayed himself
as the only person
capable of keeping Israel safe,
sometimes making that argument
through fun campaign ads,
like this one, where a couple
are getting ready to go out,
wondering where their babysitter is,
when this happens.
Mr. Prime Minister!
What an honor!
But what are you doing here?
You ordered a babysitter?
You got a Bibi-sitter!
Where are the children?
But you're the prime minister.
You're going to take care
of our children?
This election, you will choose
who will care for our children.
This election,
Likud is the only choice.
Yeah, I mean,
I guess the name "Bibi"
does kind of sound like the word
"baby," but it is a bit of a stretch.
Though, it's not the worst use of
a nickname in a political campaign,
because that'd be when Richard Nixon
was the subject of campaign buttons
that said, "My pick is Dick".
Which would actually be a great
prop for a gender reveal party.
Come in, guess how many diapers,
then grab a button
that's either "my pick is dick"
or "I got twat".
Bad news: the losing team
has to listen to the mother-in-law
tell her birth story.
Netanyahu's argument to voters
has always been
that he's a big, strong guy
who won't let Israel get pushed around.
And even some of his most ardent
supporters describe him
as a belligerent piece of shit.
Here are some,
explaining their support for him
ahead of an election in the '90s.
Only Bibi!
He's the number one politician
in the country: Bibi Netanyahu!
He has a mouth that can wrap
the whole country around his finger.
We need a prime minister to stand up
to the world, not a sucker!
Someone who knows
how to lie, too.
We need a prime minister
who's an asshole, son of a bitch!
That is pretty damning.
What kind of person are you
when even your biggest fans
are going,
"This guy's a fucking nightmare,
it's a yes from me!"
Also, stop interviewing that guy
while he's still driving!
No one wants a news alert that says,
"12 car pileup on highway."
"We were first on the scene
because we kinda caused it."
And in recent years,
Netanyahu's pushed that whole notion
of "a strong offense"
to the absolute limits.
Just this year, he's continued
to preside
over the longest and deadliest war
in Israel's history,
he's starved Gaza, bombed Iran,
and carried out airstrikes in Qatar,
Yemen, Syria and Lebanon.
It seems like someone gave him
a "rise and grind" coffee mug
and he took it
sociopathically literally.
But it is worth knowing:
Netanyahu, and his coalition,
are not currently that popular
in Israel.
Polls continue to show his coalition
would lose the next election,
were it to be held today.
And many of his fellow politicians
don't seem big fans, either,
with Bibi's former ambassador
to the U.S. saying
he's "unable to distinguish between
personal and political interests"
and even this minister in his
government calling him,
at one point,
"a danger to the State of Israel."
Which is pretty direct,
from a political ally.
In this country,
the most damning thing
a Republican's been brave enough
to say publicly about Trump
was Mitch McConnell suggesting
we're living through a time
with "certain
similarities to the '30s."
And if you're thinking, "Wait,
did he mean that thing?"
"Or just that ankle hemlines
are coming back in fashion?"
The answer's neither,
he was apparently referring
to the Smoot-Hawley tariff bill,
which is definitely
where all our heads went
when he dropped
the 1930s reference.
But despite all that,
Netanyahu always seems to find
a way to hang onto power.
He's been unseated
as prime minister twice,
only to come back each time.
The point is, years from now,
when people tell the story
of Israel's brutality in Gaza,
they'll need to talk about the history
of Israel's founding mission,
the complex politics
of the Middle East,
America's choice to give
more military aid to Israel
than any other country in history
and a thousand other things.
But they'll also need to tell the story
of one Benjamin Netanyahu,
a man so singularly focused
on remaining in power,
he's allied with the most
extreme voices in his country.
So given that, tonight, let's talk
about Netanyahu.
And let's start
with some background.
He grew up with a father who was
a well-known proponent
of an uncompromising form
of Zionism called Revisionist Zionism,
which focused on the need
for a military force strong enough
to "compel the Arabs to accept
a Jewish state on their native land."
Bibi actually spent some
formative years in the U.S.,
attending high school
in Philadelphia.
In his mid-20s, his brother,
Yoni, a commander in the IDF,
was killed while rescuing more than
100 Israelis who'd been taken hostage
after a plane hijacking
and he was hailed as a national hero.
And following that,
Bibi, who was still living in the U.S.
and going by "Ben Nitay",
began to get more attention,
and he got pretty good
at arguing Israel's case.
Here he is on a Boston-area
TV show.
Mr. Nitay, is the issue
of self determination
the core
of the conflict in the Middle East?
No, I don't believe it is.
The real core of the conflict
is the unfortunate Arab refusal
to accept the state of Israel.
Yeah, that was a young Netanyahu
defending Israel on Boston TV.
That program, by the way:
"Tawkin' Sox with Chip and Chowder."
Over the years, the show's held
some surprisingly nuanced debates
on issues
like the Middle East conflict,
as well as how many penises
Derek Jeter could fit in his mouth.
After returning to Israel, Netanyahu
got into international diplomacy,
becoming ambassador to the UN,
and ultimately moved into politics
as chair
of the right-wing Likud Party,
where he made his name campaigning
against the historic Oslo Accords.
They famously laid out
a framework for Israel
negotiating peace
with the Palestinians.
And Netanyahu, in particular,
railed against the prime minister
who signed those accords on
Israel's behalf, Yitzhak Rabin.
Bibi went scorched earth,
even speaking at an infamous rally
where the crowd burned images
of Rabin in a Nazi uniform,
and chanted for his death.
Just a month later, he was assassinated
by a far-right extremist.
And many blamed Netanyahu
for stoking the anger
that led to that assassination,
including Rabin's widow.
To what extent do you blame
Mr. Netanyahu and the Likud
for what has happened?
I do blame them.
The rally in Kikar Tziyon in Jerusalem
that showed him
in the uniform of a Nazi.
So, Mr. Bibi Netanyahu, now
he can say from here to eternity
that he didn't support it
and didn't agree with it,
but he was there,
and he didn't stop it.
Right. Now, Netanyahu denies
inciting political violence.
And in his defense,
it's not like he was filmed
leading a mock funeral procession,
before Rabin's death,
with a coffin labeled
"Rabin kills Zionism" in Hebrew.
Except, of course, he was very much
filmed doing exactly that.
There is Netanyahu,
right in front of one of the bluntest
and most unfortunate
metaphors imaginable.
Honestly, the only way that could
get any more on the nose
is if he'd held a sign
reading "plausible deniability"
and burned that too.
Now, in the wake
of Rabin's assassination,
many thought Netanyahu
was politically finished.
But the next year, a series
of Hamas suicide bombings
seemed to turn the public mood
towards his case that
pursuing peace was pointless,
and Netanyahu was elected prime
minister for the first time in 1996.
It's a position he's served in, on
and off, for 17 of the last 30 years.
And a key claim he's repeatedly made
is boasting that he can bring the U.S.
along with whatever he does.
Here he is in 2001,
during a period out of power,
talking to settlers in the West Bank
and explaining that,
if back in charge, he'd be able
to aggressively support them
and convince America to back him.
The world won't say anything.
The world will say
Aren't you afraid of the world, Bibi?
Especially today with America,
I know what America is.
America is something
that can be easily pushed.
Pushed to the right direction.
"America can be easily pushed."
Even if that is true,
it's insulting to hear out loud.
If I heard someone
on my staff say,
"I know how to get John
to do exactly what you want,
he's so horny for horses,
just show him this picture,
and he'll forget
the next three things you say",
I'd be, one, furious, two,
intensely curious to see that picture,
and I can't remember
what the third thing is.
Just show me that
fucking photo right now!
And to be fair, Bibi's had a lot
of success in pushing America,
particularly with Republican presidents
and especially with Donald Trump.
In fact, it was during Trump's first
term that Netanyahu celebrated
what he considered his greatest
foreign policy triumph,
the Abraham Accords,
which normalized diplomatic relations
with several Arab states,
most notably the UAE
and Bahrain.
It was a plan supported
by Jared Kushner,
who Trump, of course, put
in charge of "fixing the Middle East"
during his first term,
even though he always looks
like he just got his hair cut
while sitting
in a plastic racecar chair.
The thing about the Abraham Accords
was they got those other nations
to abandon the longstanding
condition among many Arab countries
that relations
with Israel could only come
after the establishment
of a Palestinian state.
Netanyahu's thinking was:
if you can just get
enough Arab nations to do that,
you could basically
freeze the Palestinians out.
He's been trying to get Saudi Arabia
to sign on next,
but it's worth knowing many observers
have warned that these accords
were always just gonna end up
further marginalizing Palestinians.
He said, "We are going to have peace
with Saudi Arabia,
and the Palestinians
should not have a veto on that."
I've long sought to make peace
with the Palestinians.
But I also believe that we must not
give the Palestinians a veto
over new peace treaties
with Arab states.
Which is, in a different language,
from my point of view,
Sorry, but excuse my French.
I'm sorry,
but I will not excuse your French.
The only person allowed to say "fuck"
while discussing diplomatic
complexities on TV is me.
Because if I lose that,
I'm little more than a streamer
"explaining the news"
so that a dead-eyed 14-year-old
can swipe past me without noticing
that, unlike most streamers,
I'm in a very expensive room.
But second, yeah, of course it was
a "fuck-you" to the Palestinians.
That shouldn't be surprising.
Everything Netanyahu does
has that as a side effect.
If he could pour a bowl of cereal
in a way that makes conditions
in Gaza meaningfully worse,
he would do that,
and don't think
that he doesn't have Israel's
top geopolitical cereal scientists
working on how to make
that dream come true.
But obviously, while many focus
on Netanyahu's foreign policy,
he's also a domestic leader.
And at home, his time in office
has increasingly been defined
by attempts to cling to power,
even as he's faced
allegations of corruption,
including charges of bribery and fraud
in three separate cases.
And while he denies those charges,
to run through them very quickly,
the first accuses him of accepting
nearly 300.000 dollars in gifts,
including cigars and champagne,
from prominent businessmen.
And I will say: it is not a great look
that one of those businessmen
has testified that Bibi and his wife
used code words for the gifts,
with cigars being called "leaves"
and champagne
being called "roses".
Which is just inherently suspicious.
People only use code words
for illicit activities,
as anyone who's ever been
disappointed by a Craigslist ad
offering to go "skiing with Tina Turner"
has discovered.
"Wait, hold on,
that means cocaine and meth?
No. I was looking for
a different kind of great time."
The two other cases both accuse him
of quid pro quo's
involving major news platforms,
this newspaper, and this website, Walla.
In that case, prosecutors say
he granted regulatory favors
to the owner of Walla
in exchange for positive coverage
of himself and his wife.
And just listen to Walla's former
editor in-chief explain
how particular Netanyahu could be.
Netanyahu wanted positive coverage
so that anyone
who visits Walla frequently
would think
he's the King David of Israel.
That he's the wonderful leader
leading Israel.
He wanted his wife to be pleased,
that she'd look good in photographs.
How many photos were there?
How were the photos?
Did they have the right angle?
We felt like a restaurant
serving only one person.
He arrives, and he wants
that meat, and this salad,
and gets whatever he wants.
So, we used code words, like "parsley"
was the request for more photos".
Add lots of 'parsley'
to the dish coming out!
True, apparently, "lots of parsley"
meant more photos.
Which is kind of brilliant,
because no one would ever say
"add more parsley"
about their actual food.
Parsley tastes like nothing.
It's like Shrek trimmed his pubes
while standing
directly over your soup.
It's fine, Shrek, it's fine.
I'll just eat around it. It's fine.
Netanyahu is supposed
to finish testifying this year,
but has tried
to drag out the process,
to the point that it could still take
years to reach a verdict.
And crucially, if convicted,
he could be sentenced to up to 10 years
in prison for the bribery charge,
and up to three for fraud
and breach of trust,
which is a lot for a guy
pushing 76
and who's allegedly spent years
mainlining free cigars and champagne.
And he's not the only one in his family
who enjoys a lavish lifestyle.
Take Bibi's third and current wife,
Sara.
She's been called
Israel's Marie Antoinette,
and has been accused of abusive
behavior towards her household staff,
which she both denies and has
twice paid out damages for.
Bibi and Sara have also been accused
of misspending taxpayer money,
from 1.700 dollars on scented candles
to 127.000 dollars to have a plane
fitted with a double bed to attend
the funeral of Margaret Thatcher.
And to be fair,
scented candles and the sight
of Thatcher's corpse?
They needed that bed. I'm rock
hard even thinking about it.
Now, in 2019,
Sara even accepted a plea bargain
to settle accusations she spent
100.000 dollars in public funds
to order meals from celebrity chefs.
I cannot think of a single celebrity
chef I would spend that much on,
except what's his face, the one
who's yelling all the time.
No. No, not him.
Yes! That's the one.
That is the one.
Now, when those charges first arose,
Sara tried to get out in front of them
by giving a reality host a tour
of their official residence
to try and show off
their modest lifestyle.
And she seemed delighted
to have him joke about the squalor
that they were forced to live in.
I think that this door has been
painted 1.000 times.
It's been painted a lot.
- What is this?
- A lamp just broke and it was glued.
What is this?
I'm sorry, like, what is this?
I'm in shock that
this is your kitchen.
It looks like the kitchen of a boarding
school in Romania in 1954.
What's this here in the back?
This here is the closet?
I think Anne Frank
is hiding here in the back.
Unless there is a second Anne Frank
that I'm unaware of,
that is a rough reference.
"Do eight people live here"
"in terror of an organized system
of ethnic extermination?"
"Because these cabinets are ratchet!"
And while Sara's giggling and smiling
there, she has a temper.
In 2002, she was recorded saying,
"Bibi is bigger than this country."
"Why should he bother? We'll move
abroad, and the whole country can burn."
And while I don't need to show you
this next clip, I do want to.
Because back in 2009,
a newspaper gossip column
published an item about Sara
attending a charity event
but didn't mention her
professional credentials.
It's a slight that she then discussed
with one of her aides,
on a call that, it turns out,
was recorded. And it is a lot.
We must help the refugees
from Darfur.
I'm doing it! As a professional,
as an educated woman!
A psychologist! BA-MA.
That's it!
But it says in the first sentence
you are a psychologist.
No. Is he getting a call
from you reprimanding him?
"The prime minister's wife,
obligated to public service?"
Why?! This prime minister's wife
does public service every day!
In her professional capacity!
Oh, my God!
That is just an iconic meltdown.
If that happened today,
we'd have been buried
under eight solid months of TikToks
using the sound
"psee-cho-lo-geest!
B-A, M-A!"
That should be put on the diva
Mount Rushmore of lashing out
alongside Reese Witherspoon's
"you're about to find out who I am",
Will Smith's slap, and Christian Bale's
"oh, good for you!"
And I don't say that lightly.
Now, the drumbeat of scandals
surrounding Netanyahu,
and his reactions to them,
led more centrist parties in Israel
to decide they wouldn't
form a coalition with him,
forcing him to drift to the right.
So, when he returned
as prime minister in 2022,
it was by relying heavily
on two constituencies
even further to the right than he is,
the ultra-Orthodox religious parties
and the far-right ultranationalists.
And they are extreme.
Because his inner circle now includes
people like Itamar Ben-Gvir,
a man once labeled
"The 'David Duke of Israel'".
A nickname I'm pretty sure
would make the actual
David Duke's head explode.
It's like calling someone
the J.K. Rowling of trans people.
How?
How does that work exactly?
Netanyahu has made
Ben-Gvir national security minister,
and he is a hardline believer
in the settlement movement,
which, as we've discussed
on this show before,
aims to establish enough settlements
in the occupied West Bank
to essentially annex the territory,
despite most of the world,
and international law, recognizing
those settlements as illegal.
Ben-Gvir's history of extremism
goes way back, though.
On his first date
with his future wife,
they visited the grave of
an extremist settler who, in 1994,
gunned down 29 Muslim worshippers.
Which doesn't just reflect bad on him,
it reflects badly on his wife too.
Because that should've raised a lot
of questions, none of them being,
"Do you want to go on a second date?"
And here is Ben-Gvir, shortly
before Rabin's assassination,
bragging about having gotten close
enough to Rabin's car
to steal his hood ornament.
You managed to remove the emblem
from Rabin's car.
An emblem is a symbol.
And this symbol shows
that just like we can get to Rabin's
car, we can get to Rabin.
That is chilling.
And for what it's worth,
I'm not even sure Rabin
would've got that message.
Because when he noticed
his hood ornament was gone,
I'm guessing he thought,
"Shit, some asshole stole the little
Cadillac thing from my hood"
and not, "I shouldn't have
signed the Oslo Accords!"
"I better unsign it, before
they come back for my hubcaps!"
Since then, Ben-Gvir's been convicted
on at least eight charges,
including supporting a terrorist
organization and incitement to racism.
In fact, as recently
as three years ago,
Netanyahu refused
to share a stage with him,
or even be seen with him
in photographs, once saying
he was "not fit" to be
a member of his government.
But now, of course,
he very much is.
Then there's Bezalel Smotrich,
Netanyahu's finance minister.
Smotrich once called himself
a "proud homophobe"
and helped organize
an "anti-gay 'Beast Parade.'"
As if the phrase "beast parade"
didn't already like the most
out and proud thing on earth.
It sounds like a brand of poppers
that's been recalled.
It sounds like a Fire Island party
where the only dress code is "edible".
It sounds like a bar in WeHo
where a lost tourist from Iowa
just woke up
to the rest of his life.
Smotrich is a willful provocateur,
often saying things like this
on the floor of the Knesset.
Thank you, Chairman.
My fellow members of Knesset,
I want to stand here
and say unequivocally,
there is no such thing
as the Palestinian people, period.
There is none.
There was none. Period.
Yeah, pretty offensive.
And while he's clearly saying that
to get a reaction there, the phrase,
"There's no such thing
as the Palestinian people"
also sounds like something that
Smotrich says to help himself climax.
This man
is an unapologetic extremist.
He's suggested that
the starvation of Gazan civilians,
a war crime,
may be "just and moral"
and he's led the cause
for the West Bank to be annexed.
And that is just two of the,
to use a polite term,
absolute nightmares
central to Netanyahu's coalition,
with another key constituency
being the ultra-Orthodox.
Now, one of that group's
biggest concerns
is preserving a religious exemption
that allows them
to skip the mandatory military service
required of most young Israelis.
That exemption is understandably
pretty unpopular in Israel,
with resentment only growing
as the war in Gaza's dragged on.
But Netanyahu's shown himself
to be committed
to delivering
for his extremist partners.
And a big flashpoint
came in early 2023,
he moved against Israel's judiciary,
specifically, its Supreme Court.
That is something that the far-right
has wanted, for a bunch of reasons.
The ultra-Orthodox were furious
that the court had ruled against
their military exemption,
and the settlements crowd
saw it as an obstacle
to expansion in the West Bank.
So, Netanyahu, who, remember,
was facing corruption charges,
so had his own reasons
to undermine the court,
pushed for a judicial reform bill
that'd substantially reduce
its oversight of government.
And that move did not go down well
with much of the Israeli public.
All day, protesters gathered in
Jerusalem and other Israeli cities.
They say it's not just that
the proposed legislation
would reduce judicial checks
and balances on the government,
but it would also rob Israel
of its identity as a democracy.
Maybe the most surreal protest
was by Navy SEALs,
reservist frogmen, who, like other
members of the Israeli military,
believe that the government's plans
are undemocratic.
Yeah, people were so mad,
they protested underwater.
And you know things are getting bad
when the protests start to stretch
all the way
to Bikini fucking Bottom.
And that was where things stood
for Netanyahu in early 2023.
But then, of course, in October,
things changed tragically
when Hamas launched the worst
terrorist attack in Israel's history,
killing some 1.200 people
and taking 251 hostages,
48 of whom
are still held in Gaza today,
with around 20
believed to still be alive.
No one would say Netanyahu
personally caused October 7th.
But he has definitely ensured
that what's come after
has caused more suffering than what
might otherwise have been the case.
As we've discussed before,
for years,
he deliberately allowed Qatar
to funnel money into Gaza,
literally sending suitcases full of
money there in the backseats of cars.
And he did this
to try and keep Hamas in power,
as it meant that he didn't have to deal
with their more moderate rival,
the Palestinian Authority.
It was a massive gamble,
and it is one that Israeli journalists
still talk about today
in utter disbelief.
This money was spent on digging
tunnels and buying rockets
and producing weapons
now killing Israelis.
While Netanyahu was telling us
that he was our great protector,
he was actually contributing,
not directly,
to building Hamas
and making it a regional power.
It's true. Netanyahu was secretly
helping beef up the very organization
that he claimed to be protecting
Israelis against.
And he was open
about his thinking here.
He once told
a prominent Israeli journalist
that a strong Hamas
was actually a good thing,
as it meant a divided Palestinian
government,
which would lessen the pressure on him
to negotiate toward a Palestinian state.
And sure, if something's a threat,
why not make it more dangerous?
It's like the classic advice,
if you're ever threatened by a bear,
give the bear a gun as part
of a long-term strategy
to make negotiation with that bear
less diplomatically feasible.
What is the worst
that could happen?
But that's not the only way
in which Netanyahu
underestimated Hamas's threat.
He also reportedly blew off a warning
from Israel's internal security chief
that the country faced a challenge
at its doorstep with Hamas,
which Netanyahu dismissed, arguing
that Hamas had been deterred.
And that is a statement
that has frankly aged worse
than when Ellen had shirts that
said, "Be kind to one another"
or when Eric Adams gave Sean Combs
the key to New York City in 2023,
or when Colbert's show released
this interview on YouTube,
"Armie Hammer Ate NYC Street
Meat, And Lived To Eat Another Day."
And now,
Israel is embroiled in a war which,
according to Human Rights Watch,
Amnesty, scores of experts,
and an independent commission
at the UN, constitutes a genocide.
Last year, the ICC issued arrest
warrants for Netanyahu and others,
charging them with war crimes.
But of course, his supporters
didn't quite see it that way.
This doesn't have any validity.
Netanyahu and Israeli Defense Force
are doing their very best
for the State of Israel.
And I'm sorry that the Hague
and the international court
cannot appreciate that.
Okay, a pretty good sign
that you're not in the right
is if you find yourself saying,
"I'm sorry that the Hague"
"and the international court
cannot appreciate that,"
no matter what comes before it!
If she had said, "'The Roses'
is a witty exploration"
"of the trials of modern marriage
and I'm sorry the Hague"
"and the international court
cannot appreciate that",
it'd be fair to wonder
what the fuck was in that movie!
And responses like that are especially
wild once you learn the extent
to which Netanyahu has been
personally responsible
for keeping this war going.
Reporting's found
that at key stages,
his decisions extended
the fighting in Gaza longer
than even Israel's military
leadership deemed necessary.
For instance, just this March,
he broke a ceasefire,
and blamed Hamas's refusal
to release more hostages
before negotiations could proceed,
even though that was not part
of the ceasefire agreement.
In reality, it was actually Netanyahu
caving to far-right ministers,
like Smotrich,
who'd threatened,
"If God forbid, the war is not resumed,
I will bring the government down."
Even now, Netanyahu's forged ahead
with a ground offensive
to take Gaza City, over the objections
of his own military leaders
and in defiance
of global condemnation.
Now, as for Smotrich, he's openly
talking about the annexation of Gaza.
Just listen to him outline those plans
at a conference last week,
in the grossest possible terms.
There's a business plan set by
the most professional people there is.
And it's on President Trump's table,
and how this thing turns
into a real estate bonanza.
I'm not kidding. It pays off.
I've started
negotiations with the Americans.
I say this not jokingly now,
because I also demand,
we paid a lot of money for this war,
so we need to divide
how we make a percentage
on the land marketing later in Gaza.
And now, no kidding,
we've done the demolition phase,
which is always the first phase of
urban renewal. Now, we need to build.
Holy shit.
He's referring to mass murder and
displacement as "urban renewal".
That is stretching
a euphemism to breaking point.
It's basically like calling the Trail
of Tears "high speed mass transit".
That is not remotely what that was.
And again,
it is impossible to overstate
the death and suffering
Netanyahu's decisions have caused,
to the over 65.000 Palestinians
who are dead,
the thousands of children
who are amputees,
and the thousands more
who are starving.
But also to the Israeli hostages
who've either died
or are still being held
because of his refusal to prioritize
their safety and freedom.
It is all truly horrifying.
And somehow, in the midst of all this,
in June, he launched yet
another war, attacking Iran,
claiming they were on the verge
of developing a nuclear weapon,
something that he's been claiming
for three fucking decades now.
Even after a U.S.-brokered ceasefire
was supposed to stop the hostilities,
Netanyahu continued
to antagonize Iran,
which finally seemed
to wear on Trump's patience.
Israel, as soon as we made the deal,
they came out
and dropped a load of bombs the likes
of which I've never seen before.
The biggest load that we've seen.
I'm not happy with Israel.
You know what we have?
We basically have two countries
that have been fighting so long
and so hard
that they don't know what the fuck
they're doing. Do you understand that?
Yeah, he is pissed there.
Though I guess that shouldn't be
that surprising,
it's one of the six moods
Trump displays in public.
There's pissed, bored, asleep,
a little horny, a lot horny,
blissed out on the energy
of a cheering crowd
and momentarily oblivious to the
crushing void that yawns within him,
and of course, pissed:
formal edition.
Perhaps because
of Trump's irritation though,
not long after that, Netanyahu nominated
him for the Nobel Peace Prize,
and went on Trump's
favorite news network to say this.
If anyone deserves the Nobel
Peace Prize, it's President Trump.
First of all, he brokered with me
the historic Abraham Accords
in which Israel made peace
with four Arab states.
I think that deserves maybe
four Nobel Prizes for him.
Look, I don't know what is more
embarrassing there,
how thick he's laying on the flattery,
or how likely it is to work.
I'd give Trump an extralarge
Nobel Prize. A Super Nobel, if you will.
And instead of that dead Swede
on the side
it'd have a chick with huge bazongas.
That'd be more appropriate
to Mr. Trump's greatness.
It is very clear that Netanyahu's
desperate to stay in power,
and will do whatever it takes.
Which, on a personal level
makes sense,
if you are facing a potential
prison term,
you probably want every bit of leverage
you can get to avoid that happening.
But some Israelis do recognize
the dynamic at work here,
and are understandably furious
about it.
Just look at this coverage
of a protest there last month.
These protestors in the center
of Tel Aviv are absolutely furious
at their government's decision
to expand its military operations
inside the Gaza Strip.
This one says,
"Bibi betrays the fighters",
"Bibi betrays the soldiers,
the fighters."
He sends them to die,
he sends them to fight,
he sends them to commit war crimes,
and all for what? For what?
Well, his supporters
say it's to make Israel safer.
Well, no, it's to make Bibi safe,
and they believe
that when Bibi's safe, we're
safe, but I believe the opposite.
Yeah, I believe that, too!
And the thing is,
that's kind of the problem
with electing someone
because
he's an "asshole son of a bitch",
you do wind up being governed
by someone who's an asshole
and a son of a bitch.
The point is, Netanyahu
is not popular in Israel,
and he's increasingly unpopular
here, too.
A new poll found just 21% of Americans
have a favorable view of him.
Meanwhile, support for Palestinian
statehood is currently at 58% in U.S.
And just recently, a wave of countries,
including France,
the U.K., Canada, and Australia
all officially recognized
a Palestinian state.
In fact, as this map shows, the U.S.
is now one of the few countries,
and the only permanent member
of the UN Security Council,
that doesn't.
And sure, Netanyahu might claim
that he can easily push America back
into supporting him.
But I don't know
if that's true this time.
I think people have seen
a little too much at this point.
And let me be clear:
to attribute the atrocities in Gaza
to just one man would be naive.
It'd also ignore that,
while many Israelis vehemently disagree
with choices
that Netanyahu's made,
there's also a fair amount of consensus
there when it comes to deeper issues
like the inevitability of ongoing
Israeli occupation in general
and the acceptability of denying
self-determination to Palestinians.
Those are conversations and issues
that are gonna take much longer,
and be much harder to resolve.
In the short term, Israelis removing
this fucking guy from power
might at the very least bring a stop
to the horrific suffering in Gaza
and bring the hostages home.
The next election there is scheduled
to occur by next October,
though, if Netanyahu's coalition
ruptures, it could be earlier.
But whenever it happens,
to anyone in Israel who thinks,
like that woman, that he is just
doing his best to protect the country,
or that the ends justify the means,
that he is somehow
the "Bibi-sitter" everybody needs,
it is worth asking, just who is
Netanyahu really looking out for?
Is it the people of Israel who've
been put at risk by endless war?
Or is it the man who's spent
17 years as prime minister,
and seems willing to do whatever
it takes to squeeze out a few more?
I would argue
that it is the second one.
And I for one am looking
forward to the day
that Netanyahu is politically done.
Because if and when
that day finally comes,
it truly will be time to break out
the words
that I'm pretty sure
The "roses" and the fucking
"leaves." And now, this.
And Now: Everybody's Excited
About Fat Bear Week.
All right, big bears battle to become
badonkadonk chunk champs.
Take a look at this.
Just take a look at this.
It's time for nature's fluffiest
beauty pageant
and my favorite time of the year.
Fat Bear Week gets underway today.
The annual celebration
of heft from Alaska.
Think of it as March Madness,
but for big fat bears.
The contest started back in 2014
as a one-day event,
only drawing about 1.700 votes.
What is happening?
You can vote at
Fat-Bear-Week-dot-org.
I love Fat Bear Week. It makes me feel
better about myself, for some reason.
We already have a favorite contender.
Here we go.
This is Bear 901.
- Do you have any comments, Frankie?
- No.
Any comments
about big boned bears?
Big booty bears.
BBB. You know?
All I know is I have a truck payment.
And y'all not gonna mess that up.
You understand?
That's our show, thanks for watching.
We'll see you next week, good night!