American Horror Story s13e02 Episode Script

1
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[CONSTANCE] Well, of course he can
get in and out of bed on his own.
I mean, he's got two feet, doesn't he?
Look, when you first showed up here,
did I ever use the word vegetable, huh?
The word moribund?
Come on. No.
Did I call him a cripple?
No, no, no.
- He has Lewy body dementia. That is it.
- I understand. Yes.
I mean, granted, he jerks around
like some goddamn inflatable
in front of a gas station,
but our job is to make an
87-year-old man comfortable,
and that is it.
Oh, Christ.
Hey, wait a minute. Wait. Hey.
Oh, you didn't scream
and shout at him, did you?
He responds to kindness and charm.
[SCOFFS] Come on, I've got
five minutes left on my shift,
and I've gotta check on that
dreary old phlebotomist. [SCOFFS]
Although, he does have a
twinkle in his eye today.
A real sparkle.
[HISSING]
[CONSTANCE] Here, come on, take one.
- Oh, I
- They're for you. Lebkuchen.
[CHUCKLES] I made them from
scratch, old family recipe.
[BEN] Hmm.
Go on, sit down, have a bite.
You know, the secret is in the molasses.
- Ah.
- The darker, the better.
[CHUCKLES] It's tree sap. Hmm.
Go on, eat it.
Eat it. You're skinny
for an "Eye-talian".
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[CONSTANCE] Wait, so you're telling me
that the biomarkers have moved
him from 87 years old to 89?
Blood work confirmed it. I
couldn't believe it myself.
[LAUGHING] Oh, that is just fantastic.
[MR. PHIBES] Tonight, I'm gonna
light a candle he gets to 90.
Oh, praise be, praise be.
[WHEELCHAIR SQUEAKING, CREAKING]
- [ELECTRICITY HUMMING]
- [METRONOME TICKING]
[WATER SPLASHING]
[WHEEZING]
[BEN SIGHS]
[SQUELCHING]
Water on top of your head, here.
[MR. NAS WHEEZING]
[BEN SIGHS]
- [CLANGS]
- [EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
[MR. NAS WHEEZING]
[CLANGS]
Okay.
One, two, three.
[WHEEZING, MOANING]
Okay, I think that's enough.
That's good. We got it.
All right, I'm gonna
get you up now, okay?
I'm gonna do your back.
I got you here.
Good, you're gonna use your arms.
On the count of three. One, two, three.
- There we go.
- [BONES CRACKING]
I've got you.
[GASPING]
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[BEN BREATHING HEAVILY]
[BONES CREAKING]
- [BEN GASPS]
- [RASPS SOFTLY]
I'm sorry. Did I scare you?
I'm sorry. I think I scared you.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
We're done. We're good. I'm
gonna I'm gonna lower you back.
Here we go.
Very good.
[BONES CRACKING]
I got you.
I'll be right back, okay?
[WHEEZING]
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
[SHUTTER CLICKING]
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
[TYPING]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
- [CHAIR SCRAPES]
- [BREATHING HEAVILY]
[BREATH SHUDDERS]
- [INHALER RATTLING]
- [INHALING]
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
- [INHALER RATTLING]
- [INHALING]
[EXHALES DEEPLY, SNIFFS]
- [CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING]
- [HORN HONKING]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[OBJECTS RATTLING]
[TEACHER] Clowns are making a comeback.
Why?
Because the world needs us.
The world needs to laugh at itself.
We make that happen.
Sure, we've gotten a bad rap lately.
That John Wayne Gacy
took a wrong turn or two,
and the Hollywood horror
honchos have pounced,
but those clown exploiters know nothing.
Nothing of the jester's
craft, the ancient art of it.
And if we screw the lids
back on the grease paint
- [SQUEAKING]
- and walk away
- [APPLAUSE]
- [LAUGHTER]
something essential dies
with us that cannot be replaced.
Love it.
- That
- [SLAP SOUND]
- [STUDENT] Oh!
- [CHAIR CREAKS]
- [LAUGHTER]
- is why clown school is essential.
- The joy is in the tradition.
- [APPLAUSE]
[TEACHER] In the learning.
[WHIRRING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[GATE CREAKS]
[TEACHER] We don't
tolerate latecomers here.
Class starts at 10:00 p.m. sharp.
No exceptions.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
Flowers. Cute, but no.
[BALLS SQUEAK, THUD]
Sign-up for the next
workshop is posted outside.
[SQUEAKS, THUDS]
- [METAL OBJECTS CLATTERING]
- [SIGHS]
All right, Bozo, if this is one of
your tricks, it's not very funny.
[SHALLOW BREATHING]
[GRUNTS]
[STUDENTS EXCLAIM]
[ALL SCREAMING]
Clowns aren't fucking funny!
- [STUDENTS SCREAMING]
- [KNIVES HITTING FLESH]
- [SQUELCHES]
- [YELLING]
[GRUNTS]
- [GRUNTING]
- [BALLOONS SQUEAKING]
- [FLESH SQUELCHING]
- [GROANING]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[GRUNTS]
[GURGLING]
[BODY THUDS]
[STUDENT BREATHING SHAKILY]
[GRUNTING]
[SCREAMS]
- [GRUNTING]
- [SQUELCHING]
[THUNDERCLAP]
[GASPING]
- [FLOORBOARDS CREAKING]
- [THUNDER RUMBLING]
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[FAINT GASPING, CHOKING]
[CHOKING, GASPING]
[CHOKING, GRUNTING]
[GASPING, CHOKING]
[THUNDERCLAP]
[BEN] Mr. Nas?
[BONES CRACKING]
[GROANS]
[GURGLING]
- Mr. Nas?
- [GURGLING, WHEEZING]
Can I, uh
Can I get you back to
[MR. NAS GRUNTING]
[LIQUID DRIPPING]
- [LIQUID SQUELCHING]
- [BREATHING HEAVILY]
[THUNDERCLAP]
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
- [BIRDS CHIRPING]
- [BREATHES DEEPLY]
- [SLURPS]
- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Ooh! That delicious aroma. [CHUCKLES]
I know I'm not supposed
to like it. It's instant.
But, ooh! I love it. [CHUCKLES]
Here, can I make you a cup?
It'll just take an instant.
Oh, no. No, thank you. I'm
gonna head home. Go right to bed.
Oh, no, but it's Sanka.
Come on.
"Start your day off right."
- Constance.
- Mm-hmm?
I know I've said this
before, but last night
The liquid, it-it was
it was black and it was viscous.
Well, he upchucked, right?
Right. I mean
It's just his tummy.
Look, when you've had the kind
of career that Mr. Nas has had,
I mean, the daily stresses
just come with the territory.
That bleeding ulcer
never completely healed,
so there's always a little dried
blood in the stomach lining, and
No, Constance, I have
treated ulcers before.
This was different.
It was darker.
Well, how dark?
Like crude oil.
[LAUGHS]
Oh, come on, Benny,
don't be so dramatic.
Take your Sanka.
Come sit down. Here.
Tell me all your worries du jour.
Assieds-toi. Dites-moi.
You know, Benny,
I have to say,
you have told me your whole life story.
Well, given the calamitous
headlines and all,
but why is it you have
never asked me about mine?
I mean, aren't you at all curious
how I got started in the
hospice care business? Hmm?
Well, I'll tell you.
You see
it was after my husband
cheated on me with our maid.
I mean, my children were already
well out of Huggies by then,
so I said to myself, "Constance,
don't mire in the mud like a pig.
Get out there and give back."
Come on, drink your Sanka, honey.
It's like a digestif.
Anyhow, straight to Bel
Reve Memorial I went.
I started as a candy striper,
and you know, it turns out,
I was pretty good at
handing out candy canes.
Almost as good as inserting
thermometers, but, well, another story.
The doctors that I worked under
well, they saw what you saw
last night, but all the time.
Stressed-out bankers and lawyers coming
in and coughing up
their stomach contents.
Coffee grounds, they called it.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, of course, we had
Mr. Nas on antacids, right?
Oh, man, but after a while, I mean,
we had to take him off that Prilosec.
I mean, whew, just to clear the
air, if you know what I mean.
[CHUCKLES] So gassy, so gassy.
And I detest foul odors,
you know, like rotten eggs.
- Right, right.
- [EXHALES]
Almost sulfurous.
So, anyhow,
we got him off all of
that, and [CHUCKLES]
up came the results.
And I do apologize, I should
have warned you ahead of time,
but I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
I'll give him a Pepto tonight
before your shift starts.
And what about the things on his head?
[SCOFFING] Oh!
Well, he's old, for Christ's sakes.
You know that goddamn prehistoric
skull is always shifting.
[CHUCKLES]
They're moving and protruding
like good old San Andreas.
"To live is to suffer."
Buddha said that.
Well [CHUCKLES]
Yeah, the the truth
of the matter is
[SCOFFS]
back then, I had a motive.
I wanted to learn care
and medical instruction
for one reason only.
My children.
I was what they called
"emotionally absent".
Yeah.
And I thought that
if I could
take care of them,
help them
s
[VOICE BREAKING] save them
that that would be my penance. [SCOFFS]
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, but [SNIFFLES]
a mother can only do so much.
- I'm very sorry.
- [SNIFFLES]
I had thought that you
said your children were
That they were thriving.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHUCKLES]
Look.
You finished your Sanka.
Good boy.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
Well, you get some rest.
- Oh, uh
- Huh?
What happened to the maid?
- I beg your pardon?
- The maid?
The one who had an
affair with your husband?
Well, let's just say [CHUCKLES]
a bullet straight
through her eye socket
finally made her see
the error of her ways.
All right, you take care, honey.
It's just that this latest client
has, um, un-unusual aspects.
[SUPERVISOR] Mr. Nas? I see. Okay, um
What seems out of the ordinary?
Uh, maybe you heard some
things from my predecessor?
You know, I think maybe
that's the solution.
I-I should just spare you the details
and-and-and talk to
somebody who knows Mr. Nas.
Yeah. I can look that up.
Wait.
Oh, okay. That was her.
- Right.
- Don't need to meet her in person.
Well
Uh, well, you can't, Benjamin. Um
You can't because our
colleague, Rosalyn Myers,
who worked for Mr. Nas before you
Because, um [CLICKS TONGUE]
Miss Myers took her own life.
[FREEZER RATTLING]
[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE]
[BOTTLES RATTLING]
[SIGHS, COUGHS]
[FOOD SIZZLING]
[BEN] Happy birthday to me ♪
Happy birthday to you! ♪
[BEN] My girlfriend has
spaghetti on her face ♪
- [KIRA] Is it that bad, babe?
- No, no, it's not that bad. Wait.
- Happy birthday.
- [WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]
[PHONE CHIMES]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
-
- We had the attack beginning at 10:13 p.m.
when the killer intruded
on rehearsal space
with a set of tricks that turned deadly.
And rest assured, this clown assailant
will not find a hiding
place in the City of Angels.
The classmates, the families,
and the SoCal community
will not soon forget these
13 dedicated performers
who tragically lost their lives today.
[REPORTER] There are online
rumors about the 13 victims
matching the number on a
tarot card left at the scene.
Any significance in that number?
Nothing further at this
time. Thank you all for com
[VIDEO STOPS]
[GENTLE CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[CONSTANCE] Come here, my dear.
Come here.
Come see the night sky,
my little sugar plum.
What a big moon, Mama.
Is that where I was all
this time, all these years?
No.
No, Adelaide, you didn't go to the moon.
You went much further,
for time is the longest
distance between two places,
to paraphrase Mr. Williams.
That's Tennessee to those in the know.
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
But I just want you to know
that while you were away,
I was always with you, mein liebling.
And what a gift to have you
back in this mortal coil.
[EXCLAIMS] Oh, it's good
to be back, isn't it, huh?
Good to be back.
And who knew a little dirt nap
would be so beneficial to
a young girl's complexion.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Here, have a cookie.
One for sorrow, two for mirth,
three for a wedding,
and four for a birth.
And then comes in a pretty girl.
[CONSTANCE] Hmm.
[ADELAIDE] Mmm.
You know, Addy, of all
the children under my care,
you were always the
most aware of something.
My sensitive girl.
That moon is so big and powerful.
- [CHUCKLES]
- I can feel it pulling me up.
- Yes, up, up towards a new day.
- Yep.
[CONSTANCE CHUCKLES, SIGHS]
I've always hated Christmas.
All that forced merriment.
And peace on earth?
[SCOFFS] Bah, humbug!
- War on Christmas.
- [CHUCKLES]
This shithole of a planet
will never know peace
until there is some ultimate order.
But it's on the horizon. I can feel it.
And so can that wolf moon up there.
- [HOWLS]
- [CHUCKLING]
And isn't this holiday
we're celebrating tonight,
13 days after the birthday
of that Christ child,
so much better than Christmas, huh?
- [BELL CHIMES]
- That's for you.
What's good, my guy?
Hey.
[MEOWING]
- That's it?
- Yeah.
- [CAT PURRING]
- Hey, Kit Kat.
Yo, Anwar.
Oh. Oh, yeah. Lucky man.
[BEN] God, maybe my life could change.
[ANWAR] Yeah, it might.
If I win, where are you sending me?
Cabo San Lucas.
Yes.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh! I take it back.
Uh, Turks and Caicos.
[PURRING]
[YOWLING SOFTLY]
[COIN CLATTERS]
- [YOWLS LOUDLY]
- Ah! Jesus Christ.
- Kit Kat, no. Very bad. Sorry, bro.
- [YOWLING SOFTLY]
- She got startled. You good?
- [PANTING]
Yeah. I gotta
Yo. You won.
[BELL CHIMES]
I'm dreaming of a dark Christmas.
- [ORNAMENTS RATTLING]
- Quit it.
Don't you dare tip that Tannenbaum
onto my precious daughter.
Mother has so few chances
to gather her brood together.
Holidays are for cucks.
Ask me if I even give a shit.
War on Christmas.
[EXCLAIMS]
Hey, butt plug, hold it steady.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
Hold your own ladder, blue balls.
Is it sadder that you died,
or that you wanted to start
a pussy posse with Zach Braff?
Go rub one out.
Basement dweller.
So beautiful.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
Pretty girl.
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[ADELAIDE] Follow me.
After you.
[UNSETTLING MUSIC PLAYING]
Pretty girl indeed.
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]