American Horror Story s13e05 Episode Script

1
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[CANE TAPPING]
[WHEEZES]
- [PHONE BUZZES, CHIMES]
- [EXHALES]
[PHONE BUZZES, CHIMES]
[EXHALING DEEPLY]
[NEWS ANCHOR] The citizens of
Spain woke up to unsettling news
that the body of their
oppressive former head of state
has been removed from its grave.
Generalissimo Francisco Franco died
- [INTERCOM BUZZES]
- in 1975 and was buried
in a massive monument that the
Spanish government later decided
Hi, hi. Uh
Go up the stairs, take
a right, Apartment 6.
[ASHLEY] Here I come.
[NEWS ANCHOR] fascist in
a more modest state cemetery.
But now grave robbers
have raided that tomb
and took Generalissimo Franco's remains.
Where? Remains a total mystery.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
[INTERPRETER] We will not rest
at night until we know for sure
that the hell-bent
Generalissimo is back underground
where he can do no harm.
- [ASHLEY SIGHS]
- [GRUNTS]
Hi, Ashley.
Nice to see you.
Dessert. Drugstore Mint Milanos.
[INDIE ROCK PLAYING
FAINTLY ON SPEAKERS]
[ASHLEY] Mmm.
Damn, that's yum. What's in it?
Uh, it's squished tomato, onion, garlic,
but the mushrooms are what do the magic.
I actually
I made some stuffed guys too.
Toaster-oven canapés? What,
am I at a lesbian potluck?
[CHUCKLES] How'd you learn to
[CHUCKLING] No, I-I-I cooked
all my own meals growing up.
And I thought we were DoorDashing.
- Oh, Ashley.
- Bro, I'm impressed.
Well, I have to confess.
The shells are prepackaged.
[ASHLEY] Ooh [GRUNTS, CHUCKLES]
Do they taste depressing?
- Yes.
- [LAUGHS] Aw.
[SIGHS]
Ashley, um,
can I ask
- How I'm doing?
- Yes.
- Yeah, Ben, that's allowed.
- Okay.
It's actually why I'm standing here
dropping disability checks
on bodega Mint Milanos.
Relax, I'm joking.
You gotta laugh to keep
from screaming, right?
You make it so [CHUCKLES] easy.
Like, no wonder Kira
walked all over you.
Oh, I'm sorry, that was insensitive.
Yeah, but maybe
maybe fair.
I probably got, like, a
few footprints on my back.
Still.
[WHISPERS] Sorry.
How's you, Buckaroo?
Oh, I'm okay.
Yeah, no, sleep is off.
Fully off, but
- Your dreams are wack, right?
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Hey, catch.
Geez, caught that. [CHUCKLES]
I'm jumpy, you know? [CHUCKLES]
Like, being horizontal freaks me out.
It's like my head's afraid
to even hit the pillow.
I just bolt right up
before I even fall asleep.
Hypnic jerks.
That's what they're
called, and yeah, me too.
It's a trauma response.
Are you, like, talking to anyone?
Yes, um, I made a profile
on a teletherapy thingy.
- I'm gonna do it when I can manage it.
- Mm-hmm.
I just started work,
you know, hospice care.
It's night shifts.
Good for you.
It's your life and you
are getting back into it.
I, for one, am sick of people getting
off on the gory details of my survival.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, that happened.
Right. [CHUCKLES]
And I usually like being objectified.
[CHUCKLES]
To our health.
To our health.
[GLASSES CLINK]
I mean, I was panicking.
And Kira was, like
[INHALES] carrying.
So I just dry pop a few of her Xanibars
and then just mosey down the Jetway.
- And then [CLICKS TONGUE] bam.
- Bam.
- [EXPLOSION]
- [PEOPLE SCREAMING]
The plane gets slammed by a microburst.
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
It was the Bermuda Triangle, Ben.
I mean, the siding ripped right off.
- [WIND HOWLING]
- [ALL SCREAMING]
And suddenly I'm dropping towards
the ocean at terminal velocity.
Next thing I know, it's weeks
later and I wake up from a coma.
Find out not one of my
13 girlfriends survived.
Just you, me, a couple of randos.
Oh, and that pilot.
Oh, yeah. What's the latest on him?
Alive, but not kicking,
and his lawyers have
him under lock and key.
Anyway, I cornered my
orthopedist and I asked him,
"How am I even alive?"
Turns out it was the Xanax.
Apparently the first impact doesn't
kill you, it's the bounce-back,
because, you know, your ribs
punch straight through your organs,
your spleen, your liver.
But I was so twacked that I didn't
brace for impact, I just ragdolled.
Whoa.
What are the odds?
Ta-da.
I mean, I definitely got
beat up, though. [CHUCKLES]
But, you know, scars are the
tattoos of survival, right?
You can touch it if you want.
- You sure?
- Y-Yeah.
Okay. [CHUCKLES]
It's literally pigskin. I know,
I'm becoming a human football.
[BEN, SOFTLY] Whoa.
[SCOFFS] #Blessed.
- [BEN] Hmm.
- [SIGHS]
Honestly, I think it's pretty badass.
[ASHLEY CHUCKLES]
You know, I heard what you did, Ben.
Calling all the parents
of Kira's friends who died,
checking on them.
You're kind of a good guy.
Survivor's guilt, mostly.
Still, it touched them.
It touched me too.
Can I ask you a blunt question?
- Hmm.
- Are you ready?
[CHUCKLES]
Do you miss her?
Kira?
Yes, of course I do.
Okay, then what do you miss most?
- Oh, God, I mean
- [CHUCKLES]
[INHALES] If I'm
[CHUCKLES] If I'm being honest, the sex.
No, I mean, togetherness.
We were, what, only together
three three months?
You know, she was
Manipulative.
Well
demanding when it came to her desire
for certain things in particular.
Or everything in particular.
[SMACKS LIPS] Well, she called it
knowing what she wanted. [CHUCKLES]
Is it awful for me to say that most
of the time she was a real bitch?
- [SCOFFS]
- Hey, come on. Kira was the type of girl
that would dip your
mascara wand in the toilet
and then laugh when you got a sty.
I mean, you dated her,
you must know that.
I'm sorry that that was your experience.
Is it awful for me to say
that I'm glad she's dead?
Holy shit, Ashley.
Okay, I don't mean I'm
glad she's "dead" dead.
I just mean that, you know,
like, my body feels relief.
Like, knowing that
she's not [INHALES]
around all the time. [EXHALES]
And I know I'm not the only
one who felt that way, okay?
I mean, I couldn't
make it to her funeral
'cause, you know, I was comatose,
but what I heard, that other
than her parents and you,
there was, like
like, one other person.
Like, someone from her
waitressing days. [SCOFFS]
Was that even a friend
or, like, a funeral ghoul?
I mean, I, of all people, am aware
that most of her girl gang got
wiped out, but still, yikes.
- Yeah, Kira was a force. [CHUCKLES]
- [SCOFFS]
- She was.
- [CHUCKLES]
I mean, immediately
after starting to date,
we-we move in together? I mean
I don't know. Why did I fall so hard?
Yeah. And so deep.
Maybe a need for safety.
Like someone femmy and decisive.
Like some idealized version
of your mother. [CHUCKLES]
- Yeah, something like that. Yeah.
- [CHUCKLES]
Maybe Kira paid someone
to put a love spell on you.
Like a "love me" roofie,
like [LAUGHING]
Oh, my God. Whoa. Sorry.
Whoa, I-I really
should not be drinking.
I-I'm on these, like, heavy antibiotics
so my body [CHUCKLES]
doesn't reject these bacon strips.
Makes me say the stupidest
Okay, maybe we should
just watch a movie
[CHUCKLES] or something.
You're not stupid. Not at all.
- Yeah, let's watch something.
- [CHUCKLES] Okay.
- I'm gonna finish this, though.
- [LAUGHS]
[MUSIC STOPS]
Blanket.
[EXHALES] Okay.
Question.
Do you like scary movies?
No, not really.
Ugh. You big pussy.
Ooh, I love Pacino.
I don't think I knew
this was a Pacino movie.
Are you kidding me? He's the best part.
[WHISPERS] Whew, I love
it when he gets all crazy.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[BEN BREATHING HEAVILY]
- Ben?
- Sorry, I'll be right there.
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
- Are you okay? [CHUCKLES]
- Mm-hmm.
What just happened?
[WHISPERS] God.
Why am I so fucking lame?
[BREATHING DEEPLY]
- What?
- I have, uh
I have triskaidekaphobia.
It's not a disease. It's a
real fear of the number 13.
It started when I was a
child. Once I was walking
- Ben, are you serious?
- through Times Square, right?
Just headed home from
work, and all of a sudden
I see this huge ad for
moisturizer in giant letters.
"Thirteen active ingredients."
[SMACKS HANDS] Boom.
My lizard brain goes Code Red.
All of a sudden, I instantly vomit
and I black out. I collapse
Ben. Ben. I'm afraid
of the number 13 too.
Why do you think I took all that Xanax?
- Are you serious?
- It was Friday the 13th. Flight 13.
- The 13th aisle.
- Yeah, that. All that.
And Kira knew my whole story and
chose to just fly in the face of it.
What whole story?
What? Kira Kira never told you?
It was May, 2020. A Saturday.
[HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING]
[ASHLEY] The world had
been on lockdown for months.
All the plans turned upside down.
What was meant to be my cousin's
Big Island dream destination wedding
turned into a sad Jersey backyard luau
complete with a slow-cooked kalua pig.
[GUEST 1] Okay, so if we
squint, we're in Hawaii.
[GUEST 2] Oh, pooh.
- It's nice to get out of Gowanus.
- Uh-huh.
[GUEST 2] Just enjoy the fresh
air and stop thinking about this
- [GUEST 3] Careful.
- [GUEST 4] Thanks.
[GUEST 1] Is this a joke?
[GUEST 3] It's probably good right here.
[PLATTER THUDS]
Did they even ask about dietary
restrictions? That's sick.
Just smile and nod. We'll
get takeout on the way home.
Why are you covering for them?
I just I don't want you
to spiral out about nothing.
You set one foot near your family
and and you're triggered.
It's just It's-It's
the blatant disregard.
- Excuse me.
- Hey. No, don't. Hey. Come on. No
Mmm, no. Sorry, Dad, but no.
I think that we need to acknowledge
that for this supposedly happy occasion,
a sentient animal gave everything.
- A total bloody sacrifice without consent.
- [GUESTS MURMUR, SIGH]
[GUEST 1] I think this
pandemic is asking us
to reevaluate what we need
to survive on this planet.
We don't need much, just
a roof over our head,
someone to love, a simple meal
that we can prepare ourselves.
This needless death of
a noble beast reminds us
that we have all become
wasteful murderers,
- each and eve
- [PIG SQUEALING]
[GUESTS SCREAMING]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[PIG SQUEALING]
[SQUELCHES]
[GUESTS SCREAMING, SHOUTING]
[OINKS]
[GUESTS CONTINUE SCREAMING]
[PIG SQUEALING]
[SQUEALING CONTINUES]
[SQUELCHING]
- [SQUEALING]
- [GUEST 5 SCREAMS]
[CRYING]
Open the door! Open, open!
Open! O
[SQUEALING]
I was the only one of the
guests who made it out alive.
Thirteen dead.
Butchered like hogs at a slaughterhouse.
Ashley, I wish there was something
- I could
- Hey, I survived.
I remain a lucky girl.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm really more concerned
about you right now, Ben.
I mean, Ocean's 13 threw you?
You know, panic attacks are
actually your body distracting you.
Each attack stops you from
having to feel psychic pain.
If you ever want to unpack
it, just know you can.
Yeah, where would I even begin?
[SCOFFS] I don't even
remember much of my childhood.
I mean
Just years and years and
years of memories all blurry.
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
I know I was born on a Friday, the 13th.
My mother died in childbirth.
My dad was ill-equipped
to raise me on his own,
but there were lots of people around.
Coming and going, checking on me.
Neighbors from the
playground, uncles and aunties.
They were from the same
church or something.
Yeah, we always skipped
services. Never went.
- [THUDDING OVERHEAD]
- [FAINT CHATTERING]
- [CEILING CREAKING]
- [FAINT, INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
[THUD]
But they were so kind, all of them.
I don't know, it was like they
kind of worshipped me. [CHUCKLES]
When I was six, my memory
is a little blurry, but
- [WATER SPLASHES]
- [PERSON 1 SCREAMS]
[PEOPLE CLAMORING]
[BEN] It was more blood
than I'd ever seen before.
- [PERSON 2] Somebody
- [PERSON 3 EXCLAIMS]
[BEN] This neighbor
had fallen down hard.
She maybe tripped and fell on a
knife that she got from the kitchen.
[PEOPLE CLAMORING]
My dad, he scooped her up,
put her in his car, sped off.
Blood alcohol level at
nearly twice the legal limit,
0.13%.
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
He ran the stop sign
at the T-intersection
and a pickup truck slammed
into them at 70 miles per hour.
Killed them both instantly.
I had no one else.
They just dumped me into foster care.
Luckiest people in the world, aren't we?
Six sets of foster parents. [SCOFFS]
Always a new residence every year.
Each one was a new form of bad.
But there was one woman, Martha.
Martha just wanted to be a mom.
She called me "sonny boy."
She had handmade decorations
for every holiday.
Hot breakfasts and Sunday suppers.
Oh, she just
She spent every day making
that house a home for me.
And then, on my 13th birthday,
she died,
at home.
Pancreatic cancer.
Did you tell her how you felt?
Yes. [SNIFFLES]
At the end, I was with her.
- That's why
- Why you do what you do.
Your 13th birthday.
You just You lose track
or you lose your mind.
And then, Kira, she was
the last time I really
[KIRA GIGGLES]
That I felt like I was home.
[SNIFFLES]
- [CHUCKLES] Oh, man, I'm sorry.
- [WHISPERS] No, it's okay.
[BEN BREATHES SHAKILY]
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC STOPS]
[CAR HORNS HONKING IN DISTANCE]
[BEN EXHALES DEEPLY]
- Hi.
- Morning.
Oof. [SOFTLY] Sorry about the scratches.
- I got a little carried away.
- [CHUCKLES]
You wait right here, you little freak.
[CHUCKLING] Jesus.
Hi. [CHUCKLES]
- Should I just hop in?
- Yeah, go for it. It's all yours.
Mmm. Cute little tramp
stamp you got there.
What? What are you talking about?
Above your butt.
"616." Your hometown area code?
[CHUCKLES]
What is that?
What do you mean?
You didn't draw
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
Did you draw on me or something?
[ASHLEY] No, I-I didn't.
[BEN GASPS]
[SOFTLY] What is that?
[ASHLEY] Did any of those wicked
foster parents ever, I don't
Like, burn you?
Jesus. No.
Well, that's not ink. It's a brand.
[TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
[MUSIC ENDS]
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC ENDS]