Last Week Tonight With John Oliver (2014) s13e12 Episode Script
Structured Settlements
Welcome to "Last Week Tonight".
I'm John Oliver, thank you so much
for joining us. It has been a busy week.
U.S. intelligence showed Iran retains
"substantial missile capabilities,"
there was the magnificent headline,
"Looksmaxxing Influencer Clavicular
Reach Deal in Alligator Shooting Case"
and in the U.K., amid turmoil over
the future of the prime minister,
King Charles delivered a ceremonial
speech outlining government's goals
for the coming year,
including this.
My ministers will also proceed
with the introduction of digital ID
that will modernize how citizens
interact with public services.
Incredible. For a message
about modernizing,
that is the least
modern messenger possible.
He's like four kinds of cape
behind 100 years ago.
While there are plenty of things that
Charles has the standing to talk about,
like polo,
resenting your mother while also
desperately wanting her approval,
having dreams of becoming
a tampon, just Google it,
digital ID is not one of them.
That man has never been asked
for ID in his life.
His face is on the fucking money.
Meanwhile, Trump headed to China
for a summit with Xi Jinping,
which was largely seen as a bust,
with no major announcements.
Well, to be fair, almost none,
because shortly
after Air Force One left Beijing,
Trump posted this image
of him and Xi walking,
captioned in part, "China has
a ballroom, and so should the USA!"
"It is under construction,
ahead of schedule,"
"and will be the finest facility
of its kind anywhere in the USA."
Because incredibly, despite everything
going on in the world right now,
Trump's still relentlessly focused
on what's been called
a "sweeping makeover of the White
House and Washington D.C."
In the past year, he's installed
two massive flagpoles,
a "Presidential Walk of Fame"
outside the White House,
paved over the Rose Garden,
and redecorated the Oval Office
as if to answer the question,
"What if an ancient Egyptian
pharaoh owned an Airbnb?"
And on Monday, he insisted all these
changes were absolutely necessary.
This place was not
properly taken care of.
I was told by my wife, "You have to act
presidential, don't use foul language."
I won't, therefore.
Normally, I would have said
it was a shithouse,
but I don't want to say that.
Okay, to be clear,
Trump's foul language
isn't what's been stopping him
from being presidential.
Simply not cursing wouldn't make
Trump a fitting president,
in the same way that a white coat
wouldn't make Gritty
a practicing oncologist.
I guess it would technically
help if he had one,
but his lack of qualification
goes much deeper than that.
But clearly, Trump's most ambitious
project is his proposed ballroom,
which has spiraled out of control.
When it was announced, it was claimed
the ballroom would be paid for
by "President Trump
and other patriot donors"
and that it'd cost "approximately
200 million dollars."
Since then, the projected cost
has gone up to 300 million,
then 400 million
and last week, he argued,
"The only reason the cost has changed
is because, after deep rooted studies,
the ballroom's "approximately
twice the size."
And when a reporter dared to ask him
about that on Tuesday,
he kind of lost his shit.
We have a ballroom that's under
budget. It's going up right here.
I've doubled the size of it,
because we obviously need that.
And we're right now on budget,
under budget, and ahead of schedule.
The price is doubled?
I doubled the size of it, you dumb
person. Doubled the size.
You are not a smart person.
Okay, I know it is not unusual for him
to demean a female journalist,
but even by his standards,
that was bad.
The only time it's okay to yell
"you dumb person" at anyone
is, as I think we all know,
if you're watching "Jeopardy!"
and you know the answer
but the contestants don't.
Who is Emily Dickinson,
you fucking idiot!
19th century largely unpublished
female poet from Massachusetts.
Who is Emily Dickinson!
You're not a smart person!
And look, it'd be bad enough
for Trump to fund this vanity
project with private money,
especially while "withholding
the identities of several donors,
including some with business
before the administration."
But on top of that,
it now seems the public may actually
get stuck with a lot of the bill.
Because Senate Republicans
are now requesting
an additional roughly 400 million
in "security funding" for the ballroom.
And that is just the beginning here.
Trump also wants to use millions
to repaint the Eisenhower
Executive Office Building white,
arguing, "Gray is for funerals."
Which, by the way,
it famously isn't.
As we all know,
black is for funerals,
gray is for depressive episodes,
and red is for stealing attention
at your ex's wedding.
He's also trying to build this 250-foot
monstrosity in the middle of D.C.,
and has lately been fixated
on revamping the reflecting pool
at the Lincoln Memorial,
a project that he described like this.
Here's a picture of it.
You probably recognize it.
Right now, it's got no water in it,
because it was in terrible shape.
It was filthy, dirty, and it leaked
like a sieve for many years.
I said, "What we're gonna do is, I'm
gonna call all three of these people
that have worked for me in the past
doing swimming pools."
That's all they can do,
is a swimming pool.
And I said, "Give me a good price".
We can do it for maybe a million
and a half to 2 million.
And now we have a nice clean surface
on which we're putting
a industrial-grade
swimming pool topping.
Okay, I'm not sure what
the stupidest part of that is.
He starts by saying
"you probably recognize it"
about one of the most famous
places in the country.
Then we get his unexpectedly correct
pronunciation of the word "sieve",
followed by,
"I'm gonna call three guys
who I know worked
on my swimming pools."
Which, come on. That is not
how to fix a national memorial,
it sounds more like the start
of an incredible post-divorce
girls' weekend for Debra.
Trump seems to be obsessed
with the reflecting pool,
posting about it
over two dozen times,
while, I will remind you,
this country is at war.
Sometimes in the form of AI slop
like this, depicting Trump, JD Vance
and some cabinet members
floating in it.
That is an image in which Trump
seems to have Photoshopped his head
onto the body of a man
50 years younger,
and yet JD Vance being invited
to a pool party
is still the least realistic part
about it.
I'm not saying the reflecting pool
didn't need repairs,
it's been an issue for years now,
but Trump's plan
apparently doesn't address
one of the pool's main problems:
its faulty plumbing.
Also, the 2 million cost that he'd
estimated for the project
has already ballooned
to over 13 million.
That's not even getting into the fact
that the company doing the work
apparently received
a "no-bid" contract.
And notably, after that story came
out, Trump posted,
"I didn't give out the contract,
Interior did,
to a contractor I did not know,
and have never used before."
Which is not what you just saw him
say in his own stupid video.
As for "Interior did it",
when Doug Burgum, Interior secretary,
was grilled on that contract during
a congressional hearing,
he seemed pretty caught off guard.
Are you familiar with Atlantic
Industrial Coatings?
Atlantic Industrial Coatings
is a company.
- Are you familiar with that company?
- You're saying Atlantic?
Atlantic Industrial Coatings
is the company that received
a no-bid federal contract
for the project at the Lincoln
Memorial Reflecting Pool.
A no-bid contract is reserved
for situations where, quote,
"any delay would cause serious
injury to the government."
Your proposition is what? There'd be
serious injury to the government
if this company didn't get
the 13 million contract
to do this particular project
right now?
I think we do have a sense of urgency.
We got handed a record amount
of deferred maintenance,
we have 19 fountains across
That's the serious injury
to the government?
A serious injury
to the government?
I suppose a lawyer could decide that,
but I think that maybe all of us
could agree that we would want
our nation's capital
looking good for the 250th,
this is a common-sense decision.
Yeah, that's not
a great answer, Doug!
If you asked your neighbor,
"Have you been fucking
the birdhouse in my yard?"
and he says, "That's a question
I suppose a lawyer could decide",
then you know you need
to get a new birdhouse.
Is this the most important thing this
president could be doing right now?
Of course it isn't.
That would be a tie
between learning
where Iran is on a map,
and finally listening
to the three ghosts
who've been waking him up every
Christmas Eve for the last 70 years.
But it should really go without saying,
if you are a president
who'd rather focus on ballroom
construction and pool maintenance
than the crucial work of actually
running a country,
then it is fair to say, to borrow
a phrase that I heard recently,
you are not a smart fucking person.
And now, this.
Stephen Miller's Darkest Secrets
Are Revealed on His Wife's Podcast.
Who would you trust
to babysit your kids?
Who would I trust
to babysit my kids?
This can only be another
member of the cabinet.
Not your husband.
Right before Donald Trump had won
and we had friends in our backyard,
and Stephen delivered
a toast and said,
"This time next year, we'll be
drinking the tears of our enemies."
I'll give you my list of things
I disagree with Stephen
on just to help you out
for a second.
He insists that my children always
wear socks with their shoes.
Even if the shoes are already on
and they're ready to get in the car,
go out the door, he makes them come
back inside and put socks on.
I didn't want a big wedding.
I wanted the courthouse.
- My husband wanted the big wedding.
- Okay, I love that.
- So, he's the bridezilla.
- He's the bridezilla.
I had a buddy who used to eat French
fries and mayonnaise.
- I thought that was disgusting.
- It's the only thing my husband eats.
- With French fries or, like, period?
- Period.
This is my own personal theory.
Like, why have I been more
nauseous this pregnancy?
Why have I had more
eczema this pregnancy?
Without question.
It's because it's more of my husband's
genetic makeup than mine in this baby.
Well, not more. It's equal.
I'm telling you, this baby's gonna
turn out looking like him.
Moving on.
Before our main story tonight,
I want to let you in
on how we decide what to cover.
Sometimes, a story is of urgent
interest, like ICE detention,
or the Supreme Court,
or sexual doorbells for Dutch fish.
Other times, it can be
incredibly boring,
like special districts or PACE loans.
And sometimes, like
with Subway or Mount Everest,
the way a story starts is by us
noticing something ubiquitous,
and finding ourselves going, "What
the fuck is the deal with that thing?"
Well, this is gonna be
one of those stories.
And the thing that prompted that
question this time was seeing this.
I have a structured settlement
and I need cash now.
Call JG Wentworth,
877-CASH-NOW!
Yeah, the JG fucking Wentworth ads.
You cannot have missed them,
because they are everywhere.
In fact, they are
such a pop culture staple,
it became a running joke on
"Curb Your Enthusiasm"
that Larry David couldn't get
that song out of his head.
I have a structured settlement
and I need cash now!
Call JG Wentworth.
877-CASH-NOW!
877-CASH-NOW! Now!
Very good! And look, there is a reason
that song is stuck in everyone's heads.
Not only is it infuriatingly catchy,
JG Wentworth absolutely blankets TV
with their ads,
and in all sorts of styles.
I have a structured settlement,
and I need cash now.
Call JG Wentworth.
877-CASH-NOW.
I get long-term payments,
but I need cash now.
Call JG Wentworth,
877-CASH-NOW!
It's not a loan, so there's no debt.
No credit card advance regret.
Call JG Wentworth, 877-CASH-NOW.
It's your money,
use it when you need it!
Call JG Wentworth,
877-CASH-NOW!
Yeah, it turns out, they have produced
that song in almost every genre.
At this point,
they could release an album,
presumably called
"Now That's What I Call the Song"
"I'm Worried Will Be the Last Thing
I Think About Before I Die."
But interestingly, for commercials
you see that much,
you probably don't know what
JG Wentworth is actually selling there.
Which is a little weird, isn't it?
It is generally a red flag
when something
has a massive ad budget
but you don't know what
they actually do,
whether it's Shen Yun,
or fucking Kars4Kids.
The good news is, we're gonna
give you an answer tonight.
The bad news
is the rest of this story.
A structured settlement is actually
pretty easy to understand.
You're generally eligible for one
if you've suffered a physical injury
or someone died because
of a wrongful action,
and you've been awarded
a settlement.
Maybe you got hit by a car,
or suffered an accident at work,
or were poisoned by lead paint.
That settlement money can then be
structured into increments,
often monthly,
with periodic lump sums,
instead of you getting it all at once.
And in theory, that's not a bad idea.
It's income tax-free,
and if it's designed well,
it means you're supported
for the rest of your life,
or however long
the settlement runs.
That is why a lot
of personal finance experts
are actually fans
of structured settlements.
In fact, here's Suze Orman giving
them a strong endorsement.
If you are ever in an accident,
if you are ever in a situation
where you get a large settlement
for whatever reason,
you are to run,
you are to not walk,
you are to run to the place that
you can get a structured settlement.
Yeah, that is a pretty
big co-sign,
delivered with that signature
Orman energy, really best described
as "local real estate agent
who just snorted Adderall."
And I assume it's the kind of support
she'll lay out in her upcoming book,
"Five Strategies for the Nine Steps
Behind the Four Secrets of Life, Love,
Tomorrow, Yesterday, and Structured
Settlements: Three Easy Steps"
by Suze Orman.
A surprising number of people
receive structured settlements.
One estimate a few years ago put
the number at 750,000 in the U.S.,
but some may end up needing
or wanting an advance
on the money
that they are getting.
The thing is, that can be a bit of
a challenge with structured settlements,
because once the structure
has been set,
recipients can't simply change
their minds
and cash in the remaining payments.
And that is where companies
like JG Wentworth come in,
and it is why their commercials are
filled with a bunch of Vikings singing,
"I have a structured settlement
and I need cash now."
Very basically, these companies
will buy the rights to future payments
from your settlement, and in
exchange, give you a lump of cash.
But they can take a massive cut.
One analysis of seven states
found, on average, these companies
keep about 60% of the money
and sometimes, far more.
So, this is a business built around
getting people to sell their settlements
for pennies on the dollar.
It's called the factoring industry,
and it is bigger than you may think.
These companies buy an estimated
1 billion worth of payments each year.
But it's important to know
that many who do business
with these companies
end up deeply regretting it,
like this man who was in a car
wreck in eighth grade
and suffered severe brain injuries.
And I'll let him pick up
the story from there.
My mom got me a lawyer,
some time or another,
she set me up
with a structured settlement
totaling up to 99,000 and some
odd dollars.
I pretty much sold half
to JG Wentworth.
I'm telling you right now, don't
you ever listen to them people.
They'll let you down every time.
I regret it so much, it's one
of my biggest regrets of my whole life.
That is horrible.
A financial transaction
should not be one
of the biggest regrets of your life.
That should be reserved
for something like not staying
in touch with old friends,
or spending too much time at work,
or publicly harassing
Oscar-nominated actor Adam Driver
for nearly an entire calendar year,
you know, the normal things that
we all look back on with some regret.
The point is,
if an industry is this ubiquitous,
this heavily advertised,
and can trigger that level of regret,
tonight, let's take a look
at the factoring companies
who buy structured settlements.
And let's start with the fact
that one of the first big companies
to do this was JG Wentworth.
They were founded back in
the '90s, and interestingly,
none of the founders
were named JG Wentworth.
They just named their company
after a man who doesn't seem to exist,
and not, as it sounds like,
a legacy admission at Duke
who nearly died in his frat house
after butt-chugging Yuengling.
Since then, JG Wentworth
has become, in its own words,
the "largest purchaser of structured
settlement payments in the U.S."
And they've done that both
under the Wentworth name,
and under a number of subsidiaries
that they've owned over the years.
They've been so successful,
in fact,
they've also inspired
a whole bunch of copycats,
many of whom have even tried
to imitate the success
of their horrendously catchy jingle,
but with mixed results.
Take a look at this video from another
factoring company, 123 Lump Sum.
123 Lump Sum has done a tremendous
job with their brand.
They're everywhere,
especially with that jingle.
How can you not sing their song?
123 Lump Sum!
123 Lump Sum!
123 Lump Sum!
123 Lump Sum!
Okay, I'm confused.
When you say,
"How can you not sing their song",
that seems so very easy
not to do.
Not even the company's own
employees seem to be able to sing it.
In general, factoring companies
like to present themselves
as performing a public service,
lending people assistance
to get around a system
too inflexible for their needs.
Here's a non-jingle-based
JG Wentworth ad
making that case through
a pretty patronizing analogy.
I know you love to draw.
Here are some crayons.
You get one crayon now,
and then you get one crayon
a year for the next 25 years.
Can't I have the red one too?
- Not until this time next year.
- But I really need the red.
One crayon a year
doesn't make sense, does it?
And sometimes neither does waiting
for my structured settlement payments.
Okay, first,
it is a little condescending
to have an ad
whose message is essentially,
"You are a child and you want
more crayons now."
But the bigger problem is that
that ad doesn't clearly explain
that, while you might get
a second crayon right now,
it could end up costing you
half the box.
And that is something that many
who enter into these deals
don't fully understand, partly because
they are complex transactions,
but in many cases, because people
with structured settlements
"are likely to have some
form of permanent disability"
from the incident that led
to the settlement
"that affects them physically and,
in many cases,
cognitively, behaviorally,
and emotionally."
In fact, some of the first in-depth
reporting on this industry
came in the wake of the killing
of Freddie Gray in Baltimore.
Afterward, reporters discovered
that he'd been awarded
a structured settlement
as the result of a lead paint lawsuit,
as had his sisters,
and they'd later sold them
to a factoring company.
And as reporters kept
poking around,
they discovered many in Baltimore
had a similar story.
Some didn't seem to fully understand
the contract they were signing.
Take Crystal Linton, who was
also exposed to lead paint as a child,
which, as she will tell you,
led to irreversible brain damage.
I was in special education probably
for a few years,
and trouble reading, writing.
I can't remember everything.
A psychologist found
she was left functionally illiterate,
with a fourth grade reading level.
Her family sued two landlords,
eventually settling for 630,000 dollars.
But then she started getting fliers
like these in the mail,
offering quick cash from companies
including Stone Street Capital
of Bethesda, Maryland.
Over the next year and a half,
she sold her payment stream,
then valued at 408,000 dollars,
for 66,000,
most of it to Stone Street Capital.
Do you feel like
you understood how it worked?
No.
So, you don't know how you signed
away your money, essentially?
No.
That company persuaded someone
to sign something valuable away,
despite her not fully understanding
the risks involved.
That is so obviously terrible,
it's literally what the villain does
in "The Little Mermaid",
except in this case,
the contract came from
a factoring company
instead of a sassy half-octopus whose
only friends are two bitchy eels.
And Crystal wasn't alone
in getting targeted.
Another company, Access Funding,
allegedly did deals
with at least 100 injured and
intellectually impaired Marylanders,
most of whom were victims
of lead paint poisoning.
And they were aggressive
in searching for clients.
At one point, they had 22 billboards
throughout the city, like these,
urging victims of lead poisoning
to "get cash now".
Meanwhile, its employees
apparently worked
to identify "lead paint virgins",
which is to say,
finding people who'd received
lead paint settlements
but had not sold them yet,
as part of what it called
its "virgin research project."
Which is obviously terrible, in part
because "virgin research project"
sounds like an in-depth study
of a college a capella group.
And internal emails later showed
how excited Access Funding was
about their potential new client pool.
"There is a whole generation in their
mid-20s to mid-30s
that all have lead paint settlements",
one executive wrote to another.
All the row houses had paint.
"We signed two brothers at once,
and while there,
our rep found two other family members
to have payments
and their friends do too.
This is an opportunity!"
That is a lot of excitement for
an email about lead poisoning.
And that is generally not how
I would use the word "opportunity".
An opportunity would be your
roommate giving away her cool jacket,
or someone in a coffee shop
packing up their things at
the only table that has an outlet,
or your child ordering an ice cream
that they definitely won't finish,
and it's actually a normal flavor
this time instead of something blue.
Massive lead poisoning
is not that.
And it gets worse,
because in other emails,
company's head of sales wrote that their
clientele can "barely form sentences"
and its sales manual
instructed staffers to bombard
potential customers with calls,
saying, "You are expected
to call that lead
nine to 10 times a day
for the next three days"
and, "You must also be texting them,
emailing them,
and trying to find them on
social media, like Facebook."
It also specified
that "the people who either call in
or apply very late at night
are most likely the best leads",
because "they are the people
who are up at night
worrying about money."
And if that wasn't bad enough,
the last page of that manual
said to "be careful
what you put in writing"
and "assume that every email you write
will show up on the cover
of the Wall Street Journal."
Which is clearly a pretty fucking
stupid thing to put in writing.
Now, thanks in part
to those aggressive tactics,
the Maryland AG estimates that over
a period of around two years,
Access Funding acquired
future payments
with a total value of 32.6 million, for
which it paid out at most 7.5 million.
And the thing is, those kind
of aggressive sales tactics
can be par for the course
in this industry.
Because while these companies
love to present themselves
as only helping people with specific,
understandable needs
for their settlement money,
the truth is, they might be
the ones creating that need.
Here is one JG Wentworth employee,
on a podcast about sales tactics,
talking about cold-calling
potential prospects.
When you call somebody,
they don't need anything, right?
You've got to unlock the want, right?
You've got to unlock what they want.
They don't need anything. They
call you when they need something,
so know the difference.
So, absolutely you can prospect,
absolutely.
Just know that you're dealing
with a different animal
when you start
making those outbound calls.
They don't need anything.
You've got to unlock wants.
Okay, "unlocking wants"
clearly shouldn't be a tactic
for getting access
to someone's structured settlement.
At best, it should be a tagline
for a YouTube pick-up artist
with 30 followers,
or the name of a romantasy book
about an imprisoned centaur
that falls in love
with a hot dragon or whatever.
I don't care about it, okay?
Read whatever you want, have fun,
jerk off to magic,
but I simply cannot care.
And that process
of "unlocking wants"
can start as soon as someone's
able to sign a contract.
Because some companies reportedly
employ an army of researchers
to plow through court records,
on the lookout for cases
that end with a large settlement.
Some are even said to troll dockets,
trying to find people
who receive settlements as children,
so they can start calling
the second they turn 18.
And look, there are obviously lots
of good things about turning 18:
you're eligible to vote,
you no longer run the risk
of getting texted by Drake,
but getting preyed upon by factoring
companies is not one of them.
And companies can be utterly
shameless in their enticements,
sending things like checks
and prepaid Visa gift cards,
urging people
to call and activate them.
A former employee at a company called
Seneca One said he saw sales agents
pay people 50 dollars
to stay on the line for five minutes.
And the companies most desperate
for deals can really go all out.
One lawsuit alleges
that a factoring salesperson
wined and dined a settlement seller
at fancy restaurants and clubs,
even providing them
with marijuana,
while another company allegedly flew
a potential customer to South Florida
and took him to two strip clubs
to entice him into selling
more of his payments.
And look, the factoring industry
will insist that however aggressively
they might market their services,
there's a safeguard
against exploitation,
because a judge eventually
has to sign off on any transaction.
Which is true.
Every state and D.C.
has a Structured Settlement
Protection Act
that requires court approval
of these purchases
and specifies that they must be in
the "best interest" of the payee.
But it is really worth knowing just
how easily that system can be gamed.
And don't just take that from me.
Those who've studied this industry
have said that "the requirement
of court approval has largely failed."
As this legal expert explains,
in hindsight,
there was always a fundamental flaw
with the setup of this process.
It's an odd proceeding, because
it's not an adversary proceeding.
The only parties that are there
are the purchaser and the seller
who, for good or ill,
has been persuaded
to sell his or her payment rights.
So, there's no adversary presentation,
and that puts judges
in an awkward position.
Yeah, he's absolutely right! Though,
speaking of awkward positions,
there simply has to be a better way
of having that man testify.
You are making an expert
look like a dental hygienist
about to floss me.
But the point here is, often,
only three people are present
for the hearing:
the judge,
the person selling the payments
and a lawyer
for the company buying them.
That is the main reason
why these transactions
often get approved in a short,
minutes-long hearing.
An investigation in Minnesota
found hearings took an average
of seven minutes to finish,
with some judges
approving transactions
after just two or three minutes
of testimony.
Which is clearly not long enough.
RuPaul takes longer than that
to deliberate.
She makes you lip-sync for your life,
then sit through an entire commercial
break before rendering her judgment.
Now, to be fair: some judges will ask
about the details of the deal,
like what sellers' plans are
for spending the money
and their other sources of income.
But if they don't do that, or if there
are major drawbacks to the deal,
the factoring company's lawyer
is not incentivized
to volunteer that information.
Also, many judges feel it's not
their place to prevent a sale,
even if they think it's a bad idea.
One told a reporter,
"I'm not surprised
that many of these people
would have regrets afterwards,
but for the court to intervene
and say we know what's better for you,
I generally don't take that role
in their lives."
Other judges seem appalled by
the deals that have come before them.
I have never felt good
about any of these.
I see people who, for the most part,
are in financially desperate situations
and do not fully understand
what they are doing
and how much money
they are actually losing.
"I've never felt good
about any of these."
It is not ideal when judges are
talking about factoring cases
the way I talk about the names
of Mountain Dew flavors.
Code Red? Purple Thunder?
Liberty Chill? Star-Spangled Splash?
Sweet Lightning?
They all sound like horses
who lost the Kentucky Derby,
and I've never felt good
about any of them.
And it's worth knowing, some companies
go beyond just omitting information,
and have been accused of actively
coaching or pressuring sellers
on how to meet
the "best interest" standard.
In a case still pending, a woman who
suffered lead poisoning as a child
is suing a company, Vintage Equity,
claiming that it did just that.
Apparently, the company claimed
one of the reasons
she wanted
to sell part of her settlement was
"to purchase a vehicle so that she is
not restricted to jobs in her vicinity"
which sounds like a good idea,
doesn't it?
Until you learn that she did not have
a driver's license or know how to drive.
The company also allegedly
coached her in real time
whenever she appeared
via telephone before the court,
with one of its employees even going
to her home,
sitting next to her on the couch,
and using the mute/unmute feature
on his phone
to secretly instruct her on how
to answer the court's questions.
Now, the company denies doing that,
which I really hope is true,
because that is deeply unethical.
The mute button should not be used
for coaching
structured settlement sellers.
As we all know, it should be used for
one purpose, and one purpose only,
and that is farting
while on a business call.
That is it. We live in a society.
Meanwhile, other companies
engage in "forum shopping"
where they seek out friendly judges
known to approve deals,
sometimes even taking cases
into courtrooms
far from where the sellers live.
One company, Imperial, allegedly
suggested a New York resident
take his case to a lenient
judge in Florida,
and sign a false lease that was used
to obtain a Florida-issued ID card.
Which is frankly more trouble
than I thought you'd have to go to
to get a Florida ID. I didn't know
that you needed a lease.
I thought all you had to do
was fail a breathalyzer,
and they'd assume
that you're local.
The company denies wrongdoings,
but stories like that are not uncommon.
One attorney who worked
for a bunch of factoring companies
submitted 594 cases to the same
judge in Virginia in just one year,
and frequently
got them approved in bulk.
That courthouse was later described as
operating like "an assembly line"
"for the secretive industry of
structured-settlement purchasing."
And if you are beginning to get
the sense
that this industry is less about helping
people than about extracting wealth,
you are right.
Especially because this doesn't
always end after just one deal.
JG Wentworth has reported
that their average customer
has completed two separate
transactions with them.
And an investigation found
that they'd gone to court
as many as 13 times to buy
payments from one woman.
In fact, they've even bragged about
how being a repeat customer with them
actually makes things easier,
in videos like this.
According to JG Wentworth,
many of their customers
have been through the process
multiple times, and the good news is,
if you do end up going back
to sell more of your payments,
it can be even easier
than the first time.
They keep your paperwork on file,
which saves you time,
and since you'll already
be familiar with the process,
you'll know what to expect
from the beginning.
Okay, but if you have to go back and
sell more of your payments,
that may not be a sign
you're a happy customer,
it could just mean that your financial
condition is deteriorating.
And while I'm most concerned
for anyone who saw that video
and decided to give even more
of their money to JG Wentworth,
let's also spare a thought
for the individual
who watched that on YouTube
and left the one and only comment
underneath it that simply says,
"I love you."
It is not the most upsetting part
of this story,
in fact, it's arguably the least,
but I am now obsessed
with the individual who,
out of all the videos
on YouTube-dot-com,
saw a marketing video for JG
Wentworth, and was so moved by it,
and/or uncontrollably horny,
that they wrote "I love you"
to the public face of a factoring
company's sales team.
What could that mean?
Is that commenter in love
with her from looks alone?
Or is that her estranged father,
reaching out
the only way he knows how?
Those three little words
are a novel.
But the thing is, once you've
done one transaction,
you can quickly become an easy
target for other companies.
Access Funding once wrote
that once someone
does a deal with JG Wentworth,
there's a public record of it,
and they then become part of
our calling and mailing lists.
Basically, you get involved
with them once,
and the predators will then swarm.
It's like giving a pigeon in the park
some bread. That is a huge mistake!
Now it knows you're a sucker.
That pigeon is gonna bring its friends,
it's gonna move into your house,
it's gonna fuck your wife.
That is gonna happen.
And all of this, the aggressive
marketing, the "creating wants",
the swarming around a seller
looking for repeat business,
can lead
to some heartbreaking stories.
Take Gary Davis,
who was hit by a train,
and suffered a stroke that destroyed
at least 25% of his brain.
He received a two-and-a-half million
dollar settlement,
but wound up selling off the vast
majority of it to two companies,
including JG Wentworth.
In fact, when the Minnesota Star
Tribune looked into this industry,
they found Gary sold more payments
than anyone else in Minnesota,
for which he received
roughly 35 cents on the dollar.
And when the paper's reporter
explained that to Gary,
you can watch him figure out
in real time just what it meant.
I gave them two-thirds, they gave me
one-third, that's what happened?
'Cause they gave it
to you immediately.
The whole amount of money
was what you were gonna get
for the rest of your life.
And they said, we'll give you
a third today, but that's it.
That's not even trade.
No, you sold about 2.3 million
dollars in payments
for about 700,000 dollars,
and that's about a third
of what you would have gotten
if you'd have waited for the money.
That's no good.
They should have somebody
to keep you from doing stuff like that,
don't you think?
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Honestly, he just said in one sentence
what I've been trying to say
for the last 20 minutes.
So, what do we do here?
Well, when it comes to laws,
there are a number of small fixes,
from simply requiring hearings take
place where the seller actually lives,
to curbing how aggressively these
companies can solicit sellers.
Following some of the reporting
you've seen tonight,
these two states recently did both.
We could also require courts appoint
what's called a "guardian ad litem"
or "attorney adviser" in cases
where a seller may not be able
to fully understand the transaction.
That adviser can then give the court
more information
about the seller's circumstances,
and could also say to the seller what
you saw that reporter say to Gary,
specifically, "They're gonna take
two-thirds of your money,
are you sure you want to do this?"
Judges in Albuquerque, New Mexico
have started using this approach,
and one analysis found courts there
had signed off
on just 42% of the deals involving
a guardian ad litem,
and in many cases, judges never
actually had to rule at all
because the sellers withdrew their
requests after meeting with one.
And look, I do understand there
are issues for those with disabilities
being told they're not capable
of making a decision for themselves.
But to be very clear here,
this would be a limited,
one-time arrangement, just for
the purposes of this sale.
Now, as for individuals,
let me just say this:
if you have a structured settlement
and you need cash now,
if those fucking Vikings
suddenly appear on your TV,
before you pick up the phone,
there are a couple of key things
to know.
First, some insurance companies
that manage settlements
offer a "hardship commutation" that
might, in extenuating circumstances,
allow you to get some
upfront cash at a better rate.
So I would try them first.
But also, please know that this
industry is just full of predators.
And I know
that they can seem benign.
They have very slick ads
that air constantly,
with some
infuriatingly catchy jingles.
But they do not have
your best interests at heart.
So, to try and inoculate you
against their charms going forward,
we've actually made our own ad to give
people a more accurate portrayal
of the risks
that this entire industry poses.
The next time that a bunch of Vikings
try and sing at you in the future,
which they absolutely will,
please try and think of this instead.
If you have a structured settlement
and you're watching TV,
you might hear a song like this
so please listen to me.
Please listen to him!
They'll run these shitty ads all day
and when you finally call,
they'll take your money
bit by bit until they've got it all.
Until they've got it all!
We went to a judge,
and he signed off on the sale.
I'm still not sure
why these fuckers aren't in jail.
Fuckers aren't in jail!
The deal you talked me into is
much worse than it first appeared.
I want to know what's going on,
and why is there a viking here?
Why is there a Viking here?
Why am I a Viking here?
We really hope this jingle
gets stuck inside your head.
Remember that these businesses
will bleed you 'til you're dead.
Bleed you 'til you're dead!
It's your money, don't let these
parasites get their fucking hands on it.
They'll bleed you 'til you're dead!
They'll bleed you 'til you're dead!
You're dead! You're dead!
That's our show, thank you so much
for watching, we're off next week,
back on May 31st, please
enjoy Colbert's final shows,
he's the fucking best!
Good night and good luck,
motherfuckers!
Bleed you 'til you're dead!
I'm John Oliver, thank you so much
for joining us. It has been a busy week.
U.S. intelligence showed Iran retains
"substantial missile capabilities,"
there was the magnificent headline,
"Looksmaxxing Influencer Clavicular
Reach Deal in Alligator Shooting Case"
and in the U.K., amid turmoil over
the future of the prime minister,
King Charles delivered a ceremonial
speech outlining government's goals
for the coming year,
including this.
My ministers will also proceed
with the introduction of digital ID
that will modernize how citizens
interact with public services.
Incredible. For a message
about modernizing,
that is the least
modern messenger possible.
He's like four kinds of cape
behind 100 years ago.
While there are plenty of things that
Charles has the standing to talk about,
like polo,
resenting your mother while also
desperately wanting her approval,
having dreams of becoming
a tampon, just Google it,
digital ID is not one of them.
That man has never been asked
for ID in his life.
His face is on the fucking money.
Meanwhile, Trump headed to China
for a summit with Xi Jinping,
which was largely seen as a bust,
with no major announcements.
Well, to be fair, almost none,
because shortly
after Air Force One left Beijing,
Trump posted this image
of him and Xi walking,
captioned in part, "China has
a ballroom, and so should the USA!"
"It is under construction,
ahead of schedule,"
"and will be the finest facility
of its kind anywhere in the USA."
Because incredibly, despite everything
going on in the world right now,
Trump's still relentlessly focused
on what's been called
a "sweeping makeover of the White
House and Washington D.C."
In the past year, he's installed
two massive flagpoles,
a "Presidential Walk of Fame"
outside the White House,
paved over the Rose Garden,
and redecorated the Oval Office
as if to answer the question,
"What if an ancient Egyptian
pharaoh owned an Airbnb?"
And on Monday, he insisted all these
changes were absolutely necessary.
This place was not
properly taken care of.
I was told by my wife, "You have to act
presidential, don't use foul language."
I won't, therefore.
Normally, I would have said
it was a shithouse,
but I don't want to say that.
Okay, to be clear,
Trump's foul language
isn't what's been stopping him
from being presidential.
Simply not cursing wouldn't make
Trump a fitting president,
in the same way that a white coat
wouldn't make Gritty
a practicing oncologist.
I guess it would technically
help if he had one,
but his lack of qualification
goes much deeper than that.
But clearly, Trump's most ambitious
project is his proposed ballroom,
which has spiraled out of control.
When it was announced, it was claimed
the ballroom would be paid for
by "President Trump
and other patriot donors"
and that it'd cost "approximately
200 million dollars."
Since then, the projected cost
has gone up to 300 million,
then 400 million
and last week, he argued,
"The only reason the cost has changed
is because, after deep rooted studies,
the ballroom's "approximately
twice the size."
And when a reporter dared to ask him
about that on Tuesday,
he kind of lost his shit.
We have a ballroom that's under
budget. It's going up right here.
I've doubled the size of it,
because we obviously need that.
And we're right now on budget,
under budget, and ahead of schedule.
The price is doubled?
I doubled the size of it, you dumb
person. Doubled the size.
You are not a smart person.
Okay, I know it is not unusual for him
to demean a female journalist,
but even by his standards,
that was bad.
The only time it's okay to yell
"you dumb person" at anyone
is, as I think we all know,
if you're watching "Jeopardy!"
and you know the answer
but the contestants don't.
Who is Emily Dickinson,
you fucking idiot!
19th century largely unpublished
female poet from Massachusetts.
Who is Emily Dickinson!
You're not a smart person!
And look, it'd be bad enough
for Trump to fund this vanity
project with private money,
especially while "withholding
the identities of several donors,
including some with business
before the administration."
But on top of that,
it now seems the public may actually
get stuck with a lot of the bill.
Because Senate Republicans
are now requesting
an additional roughly 400 million
in "security funding" for the ballroom.
And that is just the beginning here.
Trump also wants to use millions
to repaint the Eisenhower
Executive Office Building white,
arguing, "Gray is for funerals."
Which, by the way,
it famously isn't.
As we all know,
black is for funerals,
gray is for depressive episodes,
and red is for stealing attention
at your ex's wedding.
He's also trying to build this 250-foot
monstrosity in the middle of D.C.,
and has lately been fixated
on revamping the reflecting pool
at the Lincoln Memorial,
a project that he described like this.
Here's a picture of it.
You probably recognize it.
Right now, it's got no water in it,
because it was in terrible shape.
It was filthy, dirty, and it leaked
like a sieve for many years.
I said, "What we're gonna do is, I'm
gonna call all three of these people
that have worked for me in the past
doing swimming pools."
That's all they can do,
is a swimming pool.
And I said, "Give me a good price".
We can do it for maybe a million
and a half to 2 million.
And now we have a nice clean surface
on which we're putting
a industrial-grade
swimming pool topping.
Okay, I'm not sure what
the stupidest part of that is.
He starts by saying
"you probably recognize it"
about one of the most famous
places in the country.
Then we get his unexpectedly correct
pronunciation of the word "sieve",
followed by,
"I'm gonna call three guys
who I know worked
on my swimming pools."
Which, come on. That is not
how to fix a national memorial,
it sounds more like the start
of an incredible post-divorce
girls' weekend for Debra.
Trump seems to be obsessed
with the reflecting pool,
posting about it
over two dozen times,
while, I will remind you,
this country is at war.
Sometimes in the form of AI slop
like this, depicting Trump, JD Vance
and some cabinet members
floating in it.
That is an image in which Trump
seems to have Photoshopped his head
onto the body of a man
50 years younger,
and yet JD Vance being invited
to a pool party
is still the least realistic part
about it.
I'm not saying the reflecting pool
didn't need repairs,
it's been an issue for years now,
but Trump's plan
apparently doesn't address
one of the pool's main problems:
its faulty plumbing.
Also, the 2 million cost that he'd
estimated for the project
has already ballooned
to over 13 million.
That's not even getting into the fact
that the company doing the work
apparently received
a "no-bid" contract.
And notably, after that story came
out, Trump posted,
"I didn't give out the contract,
Interior did,
to a contractor I did not know,
and have never used before."
Which is not what you just saw him
say in his own stupid video.
As for "Interior did it",
when Doug Burgum, Interior secretary,
was grilled on that contract during
a congressional hearing,
he seemed pretty caught off guard.
Are you familiar with Atlantic
Industrial Coatings?
Atlantic Industrial Coatings
is a company.
- Are you familiar with that company?
- You're saying Atlantic?
Atlantic Industrial Coatings
is the company that received
a no-bid federal contract
for the project at the Lincoln
Memorial Reflecting Pool.
A no-bid contract is reserved
for situations where, quote,
"any delay would cause serious
injury to the government."
Your proposition is what? There'd be
serious injury to the government
if this company didn't get
the 13 million contract
to do this particular project
right now?
I think we do have a sense of urgency.
We got handed a record amount
of deferred maintenance,
we have 19 fountains across
That's the serious injury
to the government?
A serious injury
to the government?
I suppose a lawyer could decide that,
but I think that maybe all of us
could agree that we would want
our nation's capital
looking good for the 250th,
this is a common-sense decision.
Yeah, that's not
a great answer, Doug!
If you asked your neighbor,
"Have you been fucking
the birdhouse in my yard?"
and he says, "That's a question
I suppose a lawyer could decide",
then you know you need
to get a new birdhouse.
Is this the most important thing this
president could be doing right now?
Of course it isn't.
That would be a tie
between learning
where Iran is on a map,
and finally listening
to the three ghosts
who've been waking him up every
Christmas Eve for the last 70 years.
But it should really go without saying,
if you are a president
who'd rather focus on ballroom
construction and pool maintenance
than the crucial work of actually
running a country,
then it is fair to say, to borrow
a phrase that I heard recently,
you are not a smart fucking person.
And now, this.
Stephen Miller's Darkest Secrets
Are Revealed on His Wife's Podcast.
Who would you trust
to babysit your kids?
Who would I trust
to babysit my kids?
This can only be another
member of the cabinet.
Not your husband.
Right before Donald Trump had won
and we had friends in our backyard,
and Stephen delivered
a toast and said,
"This time next year, we'll be
drinking the tears of our enemies."
I'll give you my list of things
I disagree with Stephen
on just to help you out
for a second.
He insists that my children always
wear socks with their shoes.
Even if the shoes are already on
and they're ready to get in the car,
go out the door, he makes them come
back inside and put socks on.
I didn't want a big wedding.
I wanted the courthouse.
- My husband wanted the big wedding.
- Okay, I love that.
- So, he's the bridezilla.
- He's the bridezilla.
I had a buddy who used to eat French
fries and mayonnaise.
- I thought that was disgusting.
- It's the only thing my husband eats.
- With French fries or, like, period?
- Period.
This is my own personal theory.
Like, why have I been more
nauseous this pregnancy?
Why have I had more
eczema this pregnancy?
Without question.
It's because it's more of my husband's
genetic makeup than mine in this baby.
Well, not more. It's equal.
I'm telling you, this baby's gonna
turn out looking like him.
Moving on.
Before our main story tonight,
I want to let you in
on how we decide what to cover.
Sometimes, a story is of urgent
interest, like ICE detention,
or the Supreme Court,
or sexual doorbells for Dutch fish.
Other times, it can be
incredibly boring,
like special districts or PACE loans.
And sometimes, like
with Subway or Mount Everest,
the way a story starts is by us
noticing something ubiquitous,
and finding ourselves going, "What
the fuck is the deal with that thing?"
Well, this is gonna be
one of those stories.
And the thing that prompted that
question this time was seeing this.
I have a structured settlement
and I need cash now.
Call JG Wentworth,
877-CASH-NOW!
Yeah, the JG fucking Wentworth ads.
You cannot have missed them,
because they are everywhere.
In fact, they are
such a pop culture staple,
it became a running joke on
"Curb Your Enthusiasm"
that Larry David couldn't get
that song out of his head.
I have a structured settlement
and I need cash now!
Call JG Wentworth.
877-CASH-NOW!
877-CASH-NOW! Now!
Very good! And look, there is a reason
that song is stuck in everyone's heads.
Not only is it infuriatingly catchy,
JG Wentworth absolutely blankets TV
with their ads,
and in all sorts of styles.
I have a structured settlement,
and I need cash now.
Call JG Wentworth.
877-CASH-NOW.
I get long-term payments,
but I need cash now.
Call JG Wentworth,
877-CASH-NOW!
It's not a loan, so there's no debt.
No credit card advance regret.
Call JG Wentworth, 877-CASH-NOW.
It's your money,
use it when you need it!
Call JG Wentworth,
877-CASH-NOW!
Yeah, it turns out, they have produced
that song in almost every genre.
At this point,
they could release an album,
presumably called
"Now That's What I Call the Song"
"I'm Worried Will Be the Last Thing
I Think About Before I Die."
But interestingly, for commercials
you see that much,
you probably don't know what
JG Wentworth is actually selling there.
Which is a little weird, isn't it?
It is generally a red flag
when something
has a massive ad budget
but you don't know what
they actually do,
whether it's Shen Yun,
or fucking Kars4Kids.
The good news is, we're gonna
give you an answer tonight.
The bad news
is the rest of this story.
A structured settlement is actually
pretty easy to understand.
You're generally eligible for one
if you've suffered a physical injury
or someone died because
of a wrongful action,
and you've been awarded
a settlement.
Maybe you got hit by a car,
or suffered an accident at work,
or were poisoned by lead paint.
That settlement money can then be
structured into increments,
often monthly,
with periodic lump sums,
instead of you getting it all at once.
And in theory, that's not a bad idea.
It's income tax-free,
and if it's designed well,
it means you're supported
for the rest of your life,
or however long
the settlement runs.
That is why a lot
of personal finance experts
are actually fans
of structured settlements.
In fact, here's Suze Orman giving
them a strong endorsement.
If you are ever in an accident,
if you are ever in a situation
where you get a large settlement
for whatever reason,
you are to run,
you are to not walk,
you are to run to the place that
you can get a structured settlement.
Yeah, that is a pretty
big co-sign,
delivered with that signature
Orman energy, really best described
as "local real estate agent
who just snorted Adderall."
And I assume it's the kind of support
she'll lay out in her upcoming book,
"Five Strategies for the Nine Steps
Behind the Four Secrets of Life, Love,
Tomorrow, Yesterday, and Structured
Settlements: Three Easy Steps"
by Suze Orman.
A surprising number of people
receive structured settlements.
One estimate a few years ago put
the number at 750,000 in the U.S.,
but some may end up needing
or wanting an advance
on the money
that they are getting.
The thing is, that can be a bit of
a challenge with structured settlements,
because once the structure
has been set,
recipients can't simply change
their minds
and cash in the remaining payments.
And that is where companies
like JG Wentworth come in,
and it is why their commercials are
filled with a bunch of Vikings singing,
"I have a structured settlement
and I need cash now."
Very basically, these companies
will buy the rights to future payments
from your settlement, and in
exchange, give you a lump of cash.
But they can take a massive cut.
One analysis of seven states
found, on average, these companies
keep about 60% of the money
and sometimes, far more.
So, this is a business built around
getting people to sell their settlements
for pennies on the dollar.
It's called the factoring industry,
and it is bigger than you may think.
These companies buy an estimated
1 billion worth of payments each year.
But it's important to know
that many who do business
with these companies
end up deeply regretting it,
like this man who was in a car
wreck in eighth grade
and suffered severe brain injuries.
And I'll let him pick up
the story from there.
My mom got me a lawyer,
some time or another,
she set me up
with a structured settlement
totaling up to 99,000 and some
odd dollars.
I pretty much sold half
to JG Wentworth.
I'm telling you right now, don't
you ever listen to them people.
They'll let you down every time.
I regret it so much, it's one
of my biggest regrets of my whole life.
That is horrible.
A financial transaction
should not be one
of the biggest regrets of your life.
That should be reserved
for something like not staying
in touch with old friends,
or spending too much time at work,
or publicly harassing
Oscar-nominated actor Adam Driver
for nearly an entire calendar year,
you know, the normal things that
we all look back on with some regret.
The point is,
if an industry is this ubiquitous,
this heavily advertised,
and can trigger that level of regret,
tonight, let's take a look
at the factoring companies
who buy structured settlements.
And let's start with the fact
that one of the first big companies
to do this was JG Wentworth.
They were founded back in
the '90s, and interestingly,
none of the founders
were named JG Wentworth.
They just named their company
after a man who doesn't seem to exist,
and not, as it sounds like,
a legacy admission at Duke
who nearly died in his frat house
after butt-chugging Yuengling.
Since then, JG Wentworth
has become, in its own words,
the "largest purchaser of structured
settlement payments in the U.S."
And they've done that both
under the Wentworth name,
and under a number of subsidiaries
that they've owned over the years.
They've been so successful,
in fact,
they've also inspired
a whole bunch of copycats,
many of whom have even tried
to imitate the success
of their horrendously catchy jingle,
but with mixed results.
Take a look at this video from another
factoring company, 123 Lump Sum.
123 Lump Sum has done a tremendous
job with their brand.
They're everywhere,
especially with that jingle.
How can you not sing their song?
123 Lump Sum!
123 Lump Sum!
123 Lump Sum!
123 Lump Sum!
Okay, I'm confused.
When you say,
"How can you not sing their song",
that seems so very easy
not to do.
Not even the company's own
employees seem to be able to sing it.
In general, factoring companies
like to present themselves
as performing a public service,
lending people assistance
to get around a system
too inflexible for their needs.
Here's a non-jingle-based
JG Wentworth ad
making that case through
a pretty patronizing analogy.
I know you love to draw.
Here are some crayons.
You get one crayon now,
and then you get one crayon
a year for the next 25 years.
Can't I have the red one too?
- Not until this time next year.
- But I really need the red.
One crayon a year
doesn't make sense, does it?
And sometimes neither does waiting
for my structured settlement payments.
Okay, first,
it is a little condescending
to have an ad
whose message is essentially,
"You are a child and you want
more crayons now."
But the bigger problem is that
that ad doesn't clearly explain
that, while you might get
a second crayon right now,
it could end up costing you
half the box.
And that is something that many
who enter into these deals
don't fully understand, partly because
they are complex transactions,
but in many cases, because people
with structured settlements
"are likely to have some
form of permanent disability"
from the incident that led
to the settlement
"that affects them physically and,
in many cases,
cognitively, behaviorally,
and emotionally."
In fact, some of the first in-depth
reporting on this industry
came in the wake of the killing
of Freddie Gray in Baltimore.
Afterward, reporters discovered
that he'd been awarded
a structured settlement
as the result of a lead paint lawsuit,
as had his sisters,
and they'd later sold them
to a factoring company.
And as reporters kept
poking around,
they discovered many in Baltimore
had a similar story.
Some didn't seem to fully understand
the contract they were signing.
Take Crystal Linton, who was
also exposed to lead paint as a child,
which, as she will tell you,
led to irreversible brain damage.
I was in special education probably
for a few years,
and trouble reading, writing.
I can't remember everything.
A psychologist found
she was left functionally illiterate,
with a fourth grade reading level.
Her family sued two landlords,
eventually settling for 630,000 dollars.
But then she started getting fliers
like these in the mail,
offering quick cash from companies
including Stone Street Capital
of Bethesda, Maryland.
Over the next year and a half,
she sold her payment stream,
then valued at 408,000 dollars,
for 66,000,
most of it to Stone Street Capital.
Do you feel like
you understood how it worked?
No.
So, you don't know how you signed
away your money, essentially?
No.
That company persuaded someone
to sign something valuable away,
despite her not fully understanding
the risks involved.
That is so obviously terrible,
it's literally what the villain does
in "The Little Mermaid",
except in this case,
the contract came from
a factoring company
instead of a sassy half-octopus whose
only friends are two bitchy eels.
And Crystal wasn't alone
in getting targeted.
Another company, Access Funding,
allegedly did deals
with at least 100 injured and
intellectually impaired Marylanders,
most of whom were victims
of lead paint poisoning.
And they were aggressive
in searching for clients.
At one point, they had 22 billboards
throughout the city, like these,
urging victims of lead poisoning
to "get cash now".
Meanwhile, its employees
apparently worked
to identify "lead paint virgins",
which is to say,
finding people who'd received
lead paint settlements
but had not sold them yet,
as part of what it called
its "virgin research project."
Which is obviously terrible, in part
because "virgin research project"
sounds like an in-depth study
of a college a capella group.
And internal emails later showed
how excited Access Funding was
about their potential new client pool.
"There is a whole generation in their
mid-20s to mid-30s
that all have lead paint settlements",
one executive wrote to another.
All the row houses had paint.
"We signed two brothers at once,
and while there,
our rep found two other family members
to have payments
and their friends do too.
This is an opportunity!"
That is a lot of excitement for
an email about lead poisoning.
And that is generally not how
I would use the word "opportunity".
An opportunity would be your
roommate giving away her cool jacket,
or someone in a coffee shop
packing up their things at
the only table that has an outlet,
or your child ordering an ice cream
that they definitely won't finish,
and it's actually a normal flavor
this time instead of something blue.
Massive lead poisoning
is not that.
And it gets worse,
because in other emails,
company's head of sales wrote that their
clientele can "barely form sentences"
and its sales manual
instructed staffers to bombard
potential customers with calls,
saying, "You are expected
to call that lead
nine to 10 times a day
for the next three days"
and, "You must also be texting them,
emailing them,
and trying to find them on
social media, like Facebook."
It also specified
that "the people who either call in
or apply very late at night
are most likely the best leads",
because "they are the people
who are up at night
worrying about money."
And if that wasn't bad enough,
the last page of that manual
said to "be careful
what you put in writing"
and "assume that every email you write
will show up on the cover
of the Wall Street Journal."
Which is clearly a pretty fucking
stupid thing to put in writing.
Now, thanks in part
to those aggressive tactics,
the Maryland AG estimates that over
a period of around two years,
Access Funding acquired
future payments
with a total value of 32.6 million, for
which it paid out at most 7.5 million.
And the thing is, those kind
of aggressive sales tactics
can be par for the course
in this industry.
Because while these companies
love to present themselves
as only helping people with specific,
understandable needs
for their settlement money,
the truth is, they might be
the ones creating that need.
Here is one JG Wentworth employee,
on a podcast about sales tactics,
talking about cold-calling
potential prospects.
When you call somebody,
they don't need anything, right?
You've got to unlock the want, right?
You've got to unlock what they want.
They don't need anything. They
call you when they need something,
so know the difference.
So, absolutely you can prospect,
absolutely.
Just know that you're dealing
with a different animal
when you start
making those outbound calls.
They don't need anything.
You've got to unlock wants.
Okay, "unlocking wants"
clearly shouldn't be a tactic
for getting access
to someone's structured settlement.
At best, it should be a tagline
for a YouTube pick-up artist
with 30 followers,
or the name of a romantasy book
about an imprisoned centaur
that falls in love
with a hot dragon or whatever.
I don't care about it, okay?
Read whatever you want, have fun,
jerk off to magic,
but I simply cannot care.
And that process
of "unlocking wants"
can start as soon as someone's
able to sign a contract.
Because some companies reportedly
employ an army of researchers
to plow through court records,
on the lookout for cases
that end with a large settlement.
Some are even said to troll dockets,
trying to find people
who receive settlements as children,
so they can start calling
the second they turn 18.
And look, there are obviously lots
of good things about turning 18:
you're eligible to vote,
you no longer run the risk
of getting texted by Drake,
but getting preyed upon by factoring
companies is not one of them.
And companies can be utterly
shameless in their enticements,
sending things like checks
and prepaid Visa gift cards,
urging people
to call and activate them.
A former employee at a company called
Seneca One said he saw sales agents
pay people 50 dollars
to stay on the line for five minutes.
And the companies most desperate
for deals can really go all out.
One lawsuit alleges
that a factoring salesperson
wined and dined a settlement seller
at fancy restaurants and clubs,
even providing them
with marijuana,
while another company allegedly flew
a potential customer to South Florida
and took him to two strip clubs
to entice him into selling
more of his payments.
And look, the factoring industry
will insist that however aggressively
they might market their services,
there's a safeguard
against exploitation,
because a judge eventually
has to sign off on any transaction.
Which is true.
Every state and D.C.
has a Structured Settlement
Protection Act
that requires court approval
of these purchases
and specifies that they must be in
the "best interest" of the payee.
But it is really worth knowing just
how easily that system can be gamed.
And don't just take that from me.
Those who've studied this industry
have said that "the requirement
of court approval has largely failed."
As this legal expert explains,
in hindsight,
there was always a fundamental flaw
with the setup of this process.
It's an odd proceeding, because
it's not an adversary proceeding.
The only parties that are there
are the purchaser and the seller
who, for good or ill,
has been persuaded
to sell his or her payment rights.
So, there's no adversary presentation,
and that puts judges
in an awkward position.
Yeah, he's absolutely right! Though,
speaking of awkward positions,
there simply has to be a better way
of having that man testify.
You are making an expert
look like a dental hygienist
about to floss me.
But the point here is, often,
only three people are present
for the hearing:
the judge,
the person selling the payments
and a lawyer
for the company buying them.
That is the main reason
why these transactions
often get approved in a short,
minutes-long hearing.
An investigation in Minnesota
found hearings took an average
of seven minutes to finish,
with some judges
approving transactions
after just two or three minutes
of testimony.
Which is clearly not long enough.
RuPaul takes longer than that
to deliberate.
She makes you lip-sync for your life,
then sit through an entire commercial
break before rendering her judgment.
Now, to be fair: some judges will ask
about the details of the deal,
like what sellers' plans are
for spending the money
and their other sources of income.
But if they don't do that, or if there
are major drawbacks to the deal,
the factoring company's lawyer
is not incentivized
to volunteer that information.
Also, many judges feel it's not
their place to prevent a sale,
even if they think it's a bad idea.
One told a reporter,
"I'm not surprised
that many of these people
would have regrets afterwards,
but for the court to intervene
and say we know what's better for you,
I generally don't take that role
in their lives."
Other judges seem appalled by
the deals that have come before them.
I have never felt good
about any of these.
I see people who, for the most part,
are in financially desperate situations
and do not fully understand
what they are doing
and how much money
they are actually losing.
"I've never felt good
about any of these."
It is not ideal when judges are
talking about factoring cases
the way I talk about the names
of Mountain Dew flavors.
Code Red? Purple Thunder?
Liberty Chill? Star-Spangled Splash?
Sweet Lightning?
They all sound like horses
who lost the Kentucky Derby,
and I've never felt good
about any of them.
And it's worth knowing, some companies
go beyond just omitting information,
and have been accused of actively
coaching or pressuring sellers
on how to meet
the "best interest" standard.
In a case still pending, a woman who
suffered lead poisoning as a child
is suing a company, Vintage Equity,
claiming that it did just that.
Apparently, the company claimed
one of the reasons
she wanted
to sell part of her settlement was
"to purchase a vehicle so that she is
not restricted to jobs in her vicinity"
which sounds like a good idea,
doesn't it?
Until you learn that she did not have
a driver's license or know how to drive.
The company also allegedly
coached her in real time
whenever she appeared
via telephone before the court,
with one of its employees even going
to her home,
sitting next to her on the couch,
and using the mute/unmute feature
on his phone
to secretly instruct her on how
to answer the court's questions.
Now, the company denies doing that,
which I really hope is true,
because that is deeply unethical.
The mute button should not be used
for coaching
structured settlement sellers.
As we all know, it should be used for
one purpose, and one purpose only,
and that is farting
while on a business call.
That is it. We live in a society.
Meanwhile, other companies
engage in "forum shopping"
where they seek out friendly judges
known to approve deals,
sometimes even taking cases
into courtrooms
far from where the sellers live.
One company, Imperial, allegedly
suggested a New York resident
take his case to a lenient
judge in Florida,
and sign a false lease that was used
to obtain a Florida-issued ID card.
Which is frankly more trouble
than I thought you'd have to go to
to get a Florida ID. I didn't know
that you needed a lease.
I thought all you had to do
was fail a breathalyzer,
and they'd assume
that you're local.
The company denies wrongdoings,
but stories like that are not uncommon.
One attorney who worked
for a bunch of factoring companies
submitted 594 cases to the same
judge in Virginia in just one year,
and frequently
got them approved in bulk.
That courthouse was later described as
operating like "an assembly line"
"for the secretive industry of
structured-settlement purchasing."
And if you are beginning to get
the sense
that this industry is less about helping
people than about extracting wealth,
you are right.
Especially because this doesn't
always end after just one deal.
JG Wentworth has reported
that their average customer
has completed two separate
transactions with them.
And an investigation found
that they'd gone to court
as many as 13 times to buy
payments from one woman.
In fact, they've even bragged about
how being a repeat customer with them
actually makes things easier,
in videos like this.
According to JG Wentworth,
many of their customers
have been through the process
multiple times, and the good news is,
if you do end up going back
to sell more of your payments,
it can be even easier
than the first time.
They keep your paperwork on file,
which saves you time,
and since you'll already
be familiar with the process,
you'll know what to expect
from the beginning.
Okay, but if you have to go back and
sell more of your payments,
that may not be a sign
you're a happy customer,
it could just mean that your financial
condition is deteriorating.
And while I'm most concerned
for anyone who saw that video
and decided to give even more
of their money to JG Wentworth,
let's also spare a thought
for the individual
who watched that on YouTube
and left the one and only comment
underneath it that simply says,
"I love you."
It is not the most upsetting part
of this story,
in fact, it's arguably the least,
but I am now obsessed
with the individual who,
out of all the videos
on YouTube-dot-com,
saw a marketing video for JG
Wentworth, and was so moved by it,
and/or uncontrollably horny,
that they wrote "I love you"
to the public face of a factoring
company's sales team.
What could that mean?
Is that commenter in love
with her from looks alone?
Or is that her estranged father,
reaching out
the only way he knows how?
Those three little words
are a novel.
But the thing is, once you've
done one transaction,
you can quickly become an easy
target for other companies.
Access Funding once wrote
that once someone
does a deal with JG Wentworth,
there's a public record of it,
and they then become part of
our calling and mailing lists.
Basically, you get involved
with them once,
and the predators will then swarm.
It's like giving a pigeon in the park
some bread. That is a huge mistake!
Now it knows you're a sucker.
That pigeon is gonna bring its friends,
it's gonna move into your house,
it's gonna fuck your wife.
That is gonna happen.
And all of this, the aggressive
marketing, the "creating wants",
the swarming around a seller
looking for repeat business,
can lead
to some heartbreaking stories.
Take Gary Davis,
who was hit by a train,
and suffered a stroke that destroyed
at least 25% of his brain.
He received a two-and-a-half million
dollar settlement,
but wound up selling off the vast
majority of it to two companies,
including JG Wentworth.
In fact, when the Minnesota Star
Tribune looked into this industry,
they found Gary sold more payments
than anyone else in Minnesota,
for which he received
roughly 35 cents on the dollar.
And when the paper's reporter
explained that to Gary,
you can watch him figure out
in real time just what it meant.
I gave them two-thirds, they gave me
one-third, that's what happened?
'Cause they gave it
to you immediately.
The whole amount of money
was what you were gonna get
for the rest of your life.
And they said, we'll give you
a third today, but that's it.
That's not even trade.
No, you sold about 2.3 million
dollars in payments
for about 700,000 dollars,
and that's about a third
of what you would have gotten
if you'd have waited for the money.
That's no good.
They should have somebody
to keep you from doing stuff like that,
don't you think?
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Honestly, he just said in one sentence
what I've been trying to say
for the last 20 minutes.
So, what do we do here?
Well, when it comes to laws,
there are a number of small fixes,
from simply requiring hearings take
place where the seller actually lives,
to curbing how aggressively these
companies can solicit sellers.
Following some of the reporting
you've seen tonight,
these two states recently did both.
We could also require courts appoint
what's called a "guardian ad litem"
or "attorney adviser" in cases
where a seller may not be able
to fully understand the transaction.
That adviser can then give the court
more information
about the seller's circumstances,
and could also say to the seller what
you saw that reporter say to Gary,
specifically, "They're gonna take
two-thirds of your money,
are you sure you want to do this?"
Judges in Albuquerque, New Mexico
have started using this approach,
and one analysis found courts there
had signed off
on just 42% of the deals involving
a guardian ad litem,
and in many cases, judges never
actually had to rule at all
because the sellers withdrew their
requests after meeting with one.
And look, I do understand there
are issues for those with disabilities
being told they're not capable
of making a decision for themselves.
But to be very clear here,
this would be a limited,
one-time arrangement, just for
the purposes of this sale.
Now, as for individuals,
let me just say this:
if you have a structured settlement
and you need cash now,
if those fucking Vikings
suddenly appear on your TV,
before you pick up the phone,
there are a couple of key things
to know.
First, some insurance companies
that manage settlements
offer a "hardship commutation" that
might, in extenuating circumstances,
allow you to get some
upfront cash at a better rate.
So I would try them first.
But also, please know that this
industry is just full of predators.
And I know
that they can seem benign.
They have very slick ads
that air constantly,
with some
infuriatingly catchy jingles.
But they do not have
your best interests at heart.
So, to try and inoculate you
against their charms going forward,
we've actually made our own ad to give
people a more accurate portrayal
of the risks
that this entire industry poses.
The next time that a bunch of Vikings
try and sing at you in the future,
which they absolutely will,
please try and think of this instead.
If you have a structured settlement
and you're watching TV,
you might hear a song like this
so please listen to me.
Please listen to him!
They'll run these shitty ads all day
and when you finally call,
they'll take your money
bit by bit until they've got it all.
Until they've got it all!
We went to a judge,
and he signed off on the sale.
I'm still not sure
why these fuckers aren't in jail.
Fuckers aren't in jail!
The deal you talked me into is
much worse than it first appeared.
I want to know what's going on,
and why is there a viking here?
Why is there a Viking here?
Why am I a Viking here?
We really hope this jingle
gets stuck inside your head.
Remember that these businesses
will bleed you 'til you're dead.
Bleed you 'til you're dead!
It's your money, don't let these
parasites get their fucking hands on it.
They'll bleed you 'til you're dead!
They'll bleed you 'til you're dead!
You're dead! You're dead!
That's our show, thank you so much
for watching, we're off next week,
back on May 31st, please
enjoy Colbert's final shows,
he's the fucking best!
Good night and good luck,
motherfuckers!
Bleed you 'til you're dead!