Grey's Anatomy s17e04 Episode Script

1
These rivers are frozen
It's hard to say
if it will be alright
MEREDITH: Medical schools
often ask applicants
for an essay describing a time
they faced adversity
has broken
and how they overcame it.
Everything that I have built inside
They want to know how people will cope
with the challenges
they'll face as a doctor.
I'm chasing my shadow
[THUNDER CRASHES]
Lately he's been
the only friend of mine
Some students worry they have
nothing to write about.
And I don't know which way to go
- Lost my mind to the unknown
- They haven't faced difficulty.
[VENTILATOR HISSING, MONITOR BEEPING]
Even if I stay here always
I'll keep holding on
For you
You
I'll be waiting
I didn't have that problem.
Till we meet again,
till we meet again
Morning, Meredith.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
Uh, let's start with regional updates.
Uh, Hunt?
Shouldn't we start with
an update on Meredith Grey?
Yeah. I mean, has her I.S. improved?
Yeah. Is she on a proning schedule?
People, people.
I know we're all concerned,
but Meredith is getting excellent care
from Altman and DeLuca.
She's stable and she's resting.
In the meantime, we have a hospital
full of patients who need us.
Hunt?
Yesterday Seattle reported
345 more cases, 29 deaths.
Test positivity rate
has increased to 4.7%,
so we should prepare for more patients.
COVID ICU?
Beds are at 68% capacity.
We'll likely need more
by the end of the month.
53 of the 72 ventilators
are currently in use.
Are there any cases
that warrant discussion?
KORACICK: Hi. Hello.
- I've got one. Me.
- K-Koracick? How did you
I-I've got connections.
I'm emeritus chief of chiefs.
That is not a thing.
As I'm sure Hunt gleefully told you,
I tested positive for COVID.
But I think the test was a dud.
Breathing's normal, good heart rate,
singing voice unaffected
That does not change the rules.
A negative COVID test
or a 14-day quarantine.
- You're not even close.
- Then send me a new test.
And can you adjust my camera angle?
As lovely as the ceiling is, I
[LIGHT LAUGHTER]
[INDISTINCT TALKING ON PA]
[DOOR OPENS]
Did you know that there are
murder hornets now?
- What?
- Yeah.
As if the COVID outbreak
right after my husband dumped me
wasn't bad enough. [CHUCKLES]
I'm gonna go home, crawl into
bed before my next shift.
Yeah, I'm done, too. Look,
if you don't want to be alone,
you can come hang out at my place.
Um, let me think about the
last time I went to your place
and no.
At least I don't have a resident
living on my couch, okay?
I got fancy beer
and a negative COVID test.
I guess also April switched
Harriett's days on me, but
Oh, so you're lonely.
Will you just come over, alright?
We can watch TV and, I don't
know, order pizza. Or sushi.
Start over.
Friendship reboot.
We're getting both and you're paying.
- Fine.
- And no Kenny G!
[DOOR CLOSES]
[THUNDER RUMBLING, BABY COOS]
Hey, buddy.
Yeah.
Just me and you.
[SIGHS]
This is called a "C" chord.
[GUITAR PLAYING] I'll teach you one day.
[DOOR OPENS]
Why can't I find gauze in a house
with so many surgeons living in it?
Uh, who's bleeding this time?
Bailey lost a tooth.
The one that's been loose for two weeks?
That's supposed to happen.
Well, not when your mom
is in the hospital with COVID.
Mer's gonna get better.
[SIGHS] You don't know that's true.
You don't know that it's not.
Alright, look, um,
let's let's look at
the bright side of things, okay?
We get to introduce Bailey
to the Tooth Fairy.
Kids love the Tooth Fairy.
I'll, uh I'll check on him.
The bright side?
[MONITOR BEEPING]
Dr. Kuo at the Catherine Fox
Medical Center in Manhattan
is doing a trial with
monoclonal antibodies for COVID.
She's got room for two more patients,
but we got to jump on it.
I read that study.
Didn't three patients die?
Well, there's a strong chance
that they got the drug too late.
Dr. Webber, her lungs are flooded,
a-and she's sleeping
almost around the clock.
Richard, I would never
give this recommendation
if I didn't think that the good
outweighed the bad.
Thank you. I'll I'll think about it.
Okay.
Dr. Webber
I said I'd think about it.
BAILEY: Mom, I can't come see you.
Because of the pandemic, remember?
There's a bad virus and no vaccine yet.
But I can call you later, though, okay?
I Mnh.
- How you feeling, Chief?
- [SIGHS]
I moved my parents here
from across the country
into an assisted-living facility
just in time to never see them.
I meant your ankle.
But sorry to hear that.
It's fine. Thank you.
SOCCER MOM: Hello? Can someone help me?
Hi. I'm Dr. Kim.
Where are you from?
Orthopedics. And it looks like
you just have a cut here,
so let's find you another doctor
who can help take care of this, okay?
Orthopedics?
You know that's not what she was asking.
- I know.
- It doesn't bother you?
Her assuming you're not from here?
Happens to all of us
at some point, right?
[SIREN WAILING]
- BAILEY: What do we have?
- PARAMEDIC: Dave Oyadomari, 37,
head lac and right shoulder pain
after falling off of a step ladder.
He also complains of abdominal
pain, nausea, and vomiting
with a 102 fever.
He was recently treated here
by Dr. Hunt for appendicitis
then sent home on oral antibiotics.
DAVE: Yeah. I'll be okay.
Can Can you just give me
some more antibiotics
and and a sling or something?
You were in so much pain
that you fell off a ladder.
I had to call an ambulance!
Meet my wife, Tammi.
Okay. We'll check him out, Tammi.
Uh, he's tachycardic
and slightly hypotensive.
Kim. Here.
Let's get him to trauma one
and do a COVID test,
STAT X-rays, labs, and a FAST exam.
NICO: Got it.
[MONITOR BEEPING]
You trying to will her
into joining the trial?
No.
I'm hoping she suddenly
gets better and doesn't need it.
[SEAGULLS CRYING]
Excuse me!
MEREDITH: Hello?!
Mer?
George?!
What are you doing here?
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Did you ask the humans
to take you to their leader?
Because it's no longer me.
It's Dr. Helm. I'm here
to do your COVID test.
No, you're here to deliver it.
I don't allow residents
in my house or up my nose.
- Uh, just put it down.
- Right here.
Back up.
Back, back, back, back, back,
back, back, back, back, back.
Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
TARYN: Did you know that I had COVID?
It was mild, but scary.
I learned how to make sourdough.
I couldn't taste it or smell it,
but the texture seemed right.
I also, uh, binged a docuseries
about house
You can stop your "What I did
over COVID vacation" report.
I have no interest in baking, bingeing,
or doing anything you did
or will ever do or
[SNIFFLES] What?
Are you plotting something evil?
No. I'm stopping the pandemic.
[TEST KIT THUDS]
WINSTON: Chopped chicken salad
with homemade sweet pickles
on toasted bread.
That's a Nana Ante special right there.
Ooh! Jealous!
I had stale cashews.
Well, mine's nothing compared
to hers, but it's not bad.
And I just can't wait
for you two to meet.
I hope to, someday.
Tonight too soon? It's her birthday.
And, uh, we're doing a
A virtual dinner.
Or if it's too soon, no rush.
No, no, I just, uh
It's Meredith.
I-I know there's nothing
I can do, but
[CHUCKLES] Anything I do
that isn't trying to help
just feels selfish and wrong.
Joy is in short supply these days.
Especially our joy.
It sure as hell is.
That's why I'm grabbing it when I can.
You know, it might be a text from you.
It might be the fancy pencils
I bought for my crossword puzzles.
It might be just taking a few minutes
to sit outside with
my chicken-salad sandwich
and look at the daffodils.
I don't mean to tell you how to be.
Uh are you mad?
- No, no.
- Ignore me. Ignore me.
I'm not mad. I'm not mad.
I'm a little hurt maybe.
You got fancy pencils
and you didn't tell me?
Wait. Are you a pencil nerd, too?
Oh, I special ordered a vintage
pencil sharpener from Paris.
- [LAUGHS]
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
Oh, oh. That's my resident.
And joy's over.
[SIGHS] Until dinner tonight.
Until dinner tonight.
DAVE: My great-grandpa
was an accountant,
but no one would hire him
after he came back from camp.
So he got a job
as a line cook in a diner
and eventually started Toyo.
- Where was he interned?
- Tule Lake.
My great-grandparents
were sent to Jerome.
I'm Gosei on my mom's side.
Scans up yet?
- [BEEP]
- Yep, just came up.
- [KEYS CLACKING]
- Dr. Hunt, I read
that you initially
diagnosed appendicitis,
but these scans show pelvic free fluid
and a paracolonic abscess.
I think he might have
right-sided diverticulitis.
[SIGHS] Yep.
And it looks like it's perforated.
Plus, his X-rays show
a broken collarbone.
Okay, book an OR,
and I'll meet you up there.
We need to get him up there right now.
Really? We We as in me?
Yeah, it's your diagnosis.
- [EXHALES SHARPLY]
- Good catch, Tseng.
[KEYS CLACKING]
Congratulations.
You just ordered Nathan Ramos
a pregnancy test.
INTERN SARA: What? How?!
- Hey.
- Hey.
Hey.
You already said that.
WOMAN ON P.A.: Portable X-ray
to the third floor.
Portable X-ray to the third floor.
INTERN SARA: Ooh! He cute. [GIGGLES]
- No one asked you.
- Okay.
JACKSON: Wait. No, no, no. Wait.
She kicked you out of bed,
- so you were, like, what, naked?
- I'm naked. Naked.
I was naked in bed with
my boyfriend, and she just
And it wasn't just one time either.
I mean, it kind of says
less about him than her.
Really, though? Does it?
Yeah. Mer's like a force of nature.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Yeah. That's right.
She's a force of nature. She, um
She's gonna beat this thing. Right?
Right.
Right. Yeah.
[WAVES CRASHING]
[SEAGULLS CRYING]
Derek said the sand isn't real.
Yeah, no. Neither is the ocean.
It is nice, though.
I wouldn't want to leave either.
The beach?
Your kids. [CHUCKLES]
Got great kids.
They're the best. You didn't meet them.
I check in sometimes.
How did you get older?
Sand isn't real, the ocean isn't real.
The body it's not real.
Maybe it's just more peaceful
for you to imagine me older?
You sound like a fortune cookie.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[SIGHS]
Do I choose?
Do I get to decide if I go back?
I don't know. I didn't.
I would have stayed if I could have.
It's different for everyone, though.
[MONITOR BEEPING]
[DOOR OPENS]
She's still asleep?
RICHARD: She needs her rest.
You want to wake her
and ask her about the trial?
- I tried.
- How hard?
She needs her rest, Bailey.
If you think I'm struggling
with the decision,
how do you think she's gonna do?
You want to talk pros and cons?
We don't know anything about the virus,
so we don't know anything
about the treatment,
so we don't know any of the pros
or any of the cons.
Let's just see if the proning helps.
[DOOR OPENS]
NANA ANTE: The boy refused
to wear anything with buttons.
Collared shirts, slacks, even jeans.
Look. Buttons confine, okay?
Now, elastic waistbands
give you freedom.
You better not be wearing
elastic waistbands
when you take Maggie out.
I promise you he doesn't.
- [COMPUTER RINGING]
- Oh, is this your brother?
He said he had to work.
Happy Birthday, Momma!
NANA ANTE: Thanks, baby.
We're actually in the middle of dinner.
Winston, I invited your dad.
And you have to get along
because it's my birthday.
CLIFFORD: So, who is this young lady?
Um, I'm Maggie Pierce.
I'm a friend of Winston's.
Friend? Ha.
Maggie's a genius doctor like Winston.
She used to be his teacher.
Winston? A genius?
Oh, stop playin'.
[CHUCKLING] You know that boy
almost failed sixth grade.
Such a pain.
Maybe I wouldn't have
missed so much class
if I wasn't helping Mom while
you gambled away our savings.
- Winston!
- Sorry, Nana. No disrespect.
Listen, man, I never pretended
to be a perfect man.
But I love you, and I love my momma.
So, please, for her sake,
let's try to be civil.
Civil, huh?
Okay.
Happy birthday, Nana. I love you.
Uh
So, is there cake?
[SIREN WAILING]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
Why are you up so early?
[SIGHS] Front desk.
I got some breakfast delivered.
Oh, you know what?
If I was hungry, I would have
just eaten the cold pizza.
Who said I got you any?
Can't believe I fell asleep.
Never should've started
a movie with two sequels.
Prequels. They were prequels.
And I said that,
but you called me a wuss.
[CLEARS THROAT] Why is your couch
more comfortable than my bed?
Well, you're welcome to it
whenever you want.
[CLEARS THROAT] Thank you
for the friendship reboot.
It almost made up for the last
time that I woke up here.
Tried to rip the Band-Aid off too soon.
It's behind us. We're good.
Uh, but you can take the pizza with you.
I'll grab it for you.
JO: Wait.
Mnh, mnh, mnh.
I'm ripping off the Band-Aid.
It's just a basic algorithm that
simulates the spread of COVID.
Here's what it would look like
if everyone social-distanced.
[KEY CLACKS]
[CHUCKLING]
Here if everyone wore face masks.
[KEY CLACKS, BEEPING]
[CHUCKLES]
It's just a little
stochastic S-I-R model
that allows for multivariable inputs
[GROWLING]
w-which I built by converting
a "Zombie Apocalypse" game.
I love that game! How does yours end?
I-I don't know yet.
Same. I never got past
level eight, so
Yeah, Helm, I appreciate your interest,
but, uh, no one's gonna know
my test is negative
if it never leaves my porch, hmm?
Show's over.
Bye-ee!
MEREDITH: I was devastated
when you died.
You were all cracking up at my funeral.
Well, we were
No. What?
What? No.
It That made me happy.
I was devastated.
And then I was okay.
And even with Derek
eventually you go on.
And the kids would go on.
They would, but
I think maybe with them it's different.
My mom didn't go on.
No?
Not really, not like she used to.
Some grief is
Is heavier than other grief.
Sometimes it moves through you,
and sometimes it It just gets stuck.
And you carry it. Like my mom.
My mom carries it.
Sometimes I try to shake it out of her.
What?!
Like, you know
Like you haunt her?
Well, I mean, if you want
to call it that, I
[LAUGHS]
I just want her to let it go.
I want her to know I'm still me
even though she can't touch me
and she can't see me,
but I am still me.
It's not the same.
No, I know.
[MONITOR BEEPING]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
You know, her sats were steady,
but now they're just getting worse.
I made some calls,
and there's another spot open
in Dr. Kuo's trial,
but we have to act fast.
Is there another spot
because another patient died?
Have you seen the opacities
in her lungs?
Dr. Webber, at this point,
you can either hope
that she wakes up again
or you can make the decisions
that she chose you to make!
I beg your pardon?
The choice is between doing
nothing and doing something.
Do something.
- NICO: You had to leave him open?
- OWEN: Yes.
Once we got in, his colon was a mess.
So we had to bring up an ileostomy
and place an ABTHERA for the swelling.
His clavicle's non-displaced.
Fracture should heal quite nicely.
- How soon?
- Till he can work again?
Maybe a month.
Tseng, let's diurese him overnight
and let's put him on
the stand-by list for the OR
in case we need to do
a washout tomorrow.
You did well today.
Can I ask you something?
Am I literally the only person
that can answer it?
Kind of.
Our patient's Asian-American.
So right-side diverticulitis
was a greater possibility.
But Dr. Hunt didn't scan him
when he first came in.
So, what's your question?
I think he should know so he
doesn't make this mistake again.
But I don't know how to
talk to him about it.
You don't know how to accuse
your attending of being a racist?
- That's not what I meant.
- Well, that's what he's gonna hear.
So your advice is do nothing?
You're a resident. He's an attending.
My advice to you is, if you're
gonna have a conversation
with him, at least know what to expect.
Hello! Dr. Koracick?
- No test kit?
- They wouldn't give me another one
because you keep testing positive.
But I got to level nine
on "Zombie Apocalypse."
I didn't stop the virus,
but it's a start.
Oh, yeah, I-I stopped that.
You found a cure? Or a vaccine?
Wait. Did you reach herd immunity?
Tell me.
I blew up the world.
You killed everyone?
Oh, we're all gonna die anyway.
Well, yeah, eventually.
Well, if by "eventually" you mean
before the year's out, then, yeah.
[CHUCKLES]
I figured I'd cut to the chase.
That was not a bridge.
That was What's bigger than a bridge?
Mm, whatever that was, I guess.
Okay. But we can't do it again.
- No?
- No. Definitely not.
Because then Then we're a thing.
We're definitely not a thing.
Yeah, definitely not a thing.
- Agreed.
- Not a thing.
- It's just However
- Yeah?
if we were to not get dressed
between the first and the
- Yep. Yeah, mm-hmm.
- You know what I'm saying?
Then it's all really
just one experience.
It's just one experience.
So it's not a thing. It's just
It's one whole experience.
- So he just bailed?
- Yeah.
I knew that he had
problems with his dad,
but I did not know they were that bad.
Couldn't even be
in a virtual room with him.
And I haven't heard from him since.
You seem exceedingly calm about that.
You know, I'm I'm paying it forward.
Or backward.
When we first reconnected in L.A.,
I told him that I needed some
time, and he totally heard me.
Plus, our sister's in the
hospital with COVID alone.
It really puts things in perspective.
I hate that we can't be with her.
Me too.
[MAN WHISTLING]
Is that whistling?
That's Link.
He is a one-man pep rally.
And I hate that, too.
Oh! Dr. Altman.
Bad time?
This virus is like a
a drunk uncle at a wedding.
Y-You've got no idea what it's gonna do
or when it's gonna turn on you.
I am reading everything on COVID
because every 24 hours
there's something new.
And I have to keep up
because there could be one drug,
one procedure It could help.
It could help everyone.
It could help Meredith Grey.
So, yes, it's a it's a
It's a bad time.
What do you need?
Um, I was gonna tell you
that Dr. Koracick
is in a really dark place
and seems like he could use a friend.
But, um, Dr. Grey is kinda
my whole world, so
Never mind. Proceed.
OWEN: Dave's abdominal swelling
is coming down,
so we should be able to
close him in just a few days.
TAMMI: Oh, that's great news. Thank you.
Yeah. Just doing my job.
How are things there?
Oh, hanging on by a thread.
Dave's the one who keeps
this place running.
Well, we are doing
everything we can here
to get him back to you, okay?
- Can I see him one more time?
- Of course.
Rest up and come home soon, okay?
I wish I could be there. I love you.
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
It's awful that she can't visit.
It's awful this happened
in the first place.
Tseng, you need to step out.
[SIGHS]
Now.
You don't have to be so hard on her.
She's very attached to this patient.
She's upset that a misdiagnosis
cost this patient the next
four weeks of his livelihood.
Me too. Sometimes you have to
weigh the risks and make a decision.
Right-sided diverticulitis
is extremely rare.
But not as rare for Dave.
It's 10 times more likely
in patients of Asian descent
than white patients.
Which you clearly didn't know or
didn't take into consideration.
But either way it's on you,
'cause all this could've been
avoided with a simple scan.
[MONITOR BEEPING]
- You're just getting here?
- [CAR DOOR CLOSES]
Is that a problem?
No. Just didn't see you when I got up.
I figured you came in early.
I was exercising.
Morning.
Oh, my God! You're back together.
- Kind of.
- Ugh!
Taryn said the Netherlands
suggested people find
a designated sex partner
for the pandemic.
You're having sex with Nico
because the Dutch government
recommends it?
Their country ranks very high
on the World Happiness Index.
He lied, dumped you.
- He barely gives you the time of day.
- Okay, stop judging.
It's wartime, but I still have needs.
It's not like I'm just
gonna find someone new.
So you're with your
emotionally unavailable ex?
Wartime!
[SIGHS]
LINK: Ah, the sun is out,
and Scout's down.
And everyone else is watching
a PBS show about penguins.
Meredith's not improving.
Uh, they can't wake her.
Well, she's getting her rest. It's good.
No, it is not good.
None of this is good, okay?
Do you not see that?
I am terrified for Meredith.
I am sad. I am enraged
that this is happening.
So, please, stop dismissing me
with your bright sides
and your pep talks, okay?
Let me have my fear and my grief
and my anger.
Because if I don't,
if I keep shoving it down,
you will have a very hard time
finding the bright side
to the consequences.
What are you doing?
I'm making some space for us to sit
while you have all your feelings.
[CELESTE'S "I'M HERE" PLAYS]
[MONITOR BEEPING]
How do we still remember
My mind and memories young
I want you January to December
[WAVES CRASHING]
- GEORGE: Do you still dance?
- Another trip around the sun
MEREDITH: Hmm?
When you're sad or you're stressed,
do you still dance it out?
No, not so much anymore,
not since Cristina left.
Cristina didn't die.
I know.
That's what I miss about being alive.
Dancing till you drop.
Laughing till you cry.
Food. Textures.
The crunch of cereal
as you eat it from the box.
[LAUGHS]
The feel of clean sheets
and a good pillow
at the end of a long day.
- These fears
- [MONITOR BEEPING FAINTLY]
RICHARD: I've got the consent
forms for that clinical trial
for that clinical trial
These tears are just tears
And there's one more space, and
I have to decide, and
it could be the best
or worst decision of my life.
RICHARD: Your doctors,
your friends, your family.
They're worried about you.
I'm trying to be strong for them,
but I'll admit I'm struggling.
Seeing you there like this
and not knowing what to do.
[MONITOR BEEPING]
I'm sorry, Richard.
And choices. Ahh.
So many choices.
So many ways to live a life.
Meredith?
Meredith, what is it? I'm here.
I'm right here.
Enough time to know that you're
If you stay here, it might break him.
Ohh, keeping your eyes on me
I know.
I know you'll be here
when I look 'round
[WEAKLY] I know, George.
These fears
No longer weapons
These tears are just tears
Not longing
Get her in.
For direction
I belong here
Oh, God, I hate
Me?
Every single thing except you.
I live with Jo Wilson now.
But she, uh
has not been sleeping at home.
I want to invite you over.
But I guess we have not
been great to each other.
And I don't know what's really changed.
Levi.
There's a worldwide pandemic.
We literally don't know if we're
gonna live to see tomorrow.
A lot has changed.
Yeah, okay, let's go.
[HORNS HONKING]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Um [CLEARS THROAT]
Our plan went to crap,
and now we can't pretend
it didn't happen
I can't be in a relationship right now.
- What?
- Sorry.
Let me start over. That sounded rude.
When I'm saying is, I-I jumped
right into something with Vic
you know,
after breaking up with Maggie,
who I started dating
pretty soon after April.
So I just probably should take
some time to sort things out.
I don't want to do anything
to hurt you or our friendship.
Jackson, my husband left me the
same year that we got married,
for a second time.
I am super broken.
Like "virtual therapy
three times a week" broken.
And now I have to
put myself back together
in a world that I no longer recognize,
one that is sad and lonely
and depressing.
So what I need is friendship and sex.
I am not, like really not,
looking for a relationship.
Especially with someone like you.
- Someone like me? Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, you know, Mr., um, Can't Be Alone
But Sometimes Skips Town
To Go On Nature Journeys.
- No thanks. No.
- Oh, okay.
But you can be friends with
and have sex with Mr. Can't Be Alone?
- Got it.
- Yes.
The Netherlands has recommended
that its residents
find a regular sex buddy
during the pandemic for safety.
- Sounds wise.
- Doesn't it?
[LAUGHING] You thought
I wanted to date you?!
Well, how is that
Why is that so funny?
Hey. Uh
You mind if I, uh
Okay, well, sit over there.
Okay. Hypothetical.
Asian-American male presents with fever,
high white blood cell count,
and right lower quadrant pain.
Oh, is this the restaurant guy?
I caught him in the ER.
Bailey, I see a dozen
presentations like that a month.
All appendicitis.
But if I'm honest, in that moment,
I-I didn't give it much thought.
I just He was He was any patient.
Any non-Asian patient.
I defaulted to a standard of care.
That's centered around white patients.
I never want to make that mistake again.
There is no excuse.
You know, when you're dealing
with a high patient count,
you have to make judgment calls,
you know?
You You have to ask, what is
the most likely problem, right?
So there's no excuses,
other than the excuses
you just listed off?
[CHUCKLES] That's not what I meant.
Ha!
I just want to treat everyone equally.
Equal doesn't work for everybody, Hunt.
I-It's about equity
Patients getting what they need,
whether it fits into a protocol or not.
Look, I just put my parents
in assisted living,
and I can't stop worrying
that they won't get enough care
because there are
so few Black folks there.
Meanwhile, my dad's freaked out
because on his floor
the nurses are male.
In his mind, good nurses
are female, period.
So we all have biases, Hunt,
including you.
What matters now
is what you do about it.
You're the chief of trauma.
If the protocols don't work,
then read, learn
question and change them.
[GUITAR PLAYING BLUES RIFF]
Kids are asleep.
And it's your turn to talk.
I'm good.
Link, everything sucks right
now. You can talk about it.
Yeah. Yeah. I could do that.
If you want me to be
miserable and resentful.
Resentful of me?
For trying to listen?
No, of making me talk
when clearly all I want to do
is play my damn guitar.
[GUITAR PLAYING]
You can't keep everything bottled up.
No, no, you can't, Amelia.
That's how you process feelings.
That's how you cope.
And I'm okay with that.
But I've been through
"everything sucks."
Illness and isolation.
When I had cancer.
When When my parents split.
I was so depressed that I could
I could barely get out of bed
for the better part of a year.
And I was 11.
Then I met a kid at cancer camp.
Morrow Willis.
Kid was probably sicker than I was,
but he didn't want to talk
about treatments or symptoms.
Just sports and "Mario Kart."
So I said to myself, "What if
I just focus on the good stuff?"
And I tried it.
And it turns out
that's what works for me.
That's what I need.
And if you're okay with that, great,
but if you need a partner
in misery, I'm not your guy.
[GUITAR PLAYING]
Whatcha playing?
Just a little something I made up.
It's called, uh,
"If the Virus Doesn't End Us,
Then Climate Change
Probably Will Blues."
[GUITAR PLAYING]
[COMPUTER RINGING]
Hey.
Hey. Wasn't sure you'd answer.
Please. The woman who all
but ghosted you for a month
does not get to judge.
It's just, uh my dad.
We don't have to talk about it
if you're not ready to
or if you don't want to.
It makes me crazy because he
He seems like he's all charm,
but he has got this temper that
Well, if you're serious about
not talking about it right now,
that can wait
because the things I want
to do with you tonight
they can't.
Oh, well, I'm going to need you
to say more about that.
Alright, alright. Hold on. Let me, uh
Let me try to share my screen.
- Oh, my God.
- What?
Are we gonna watch porn?
[CHUCKLES] No.
"Coming to America."
[GASPS]
Mm-hmm.
Yes! Please! Ahh! [CHUCKLES]
- [THUNDER RUMBLING]
- Ugh!
Okay.
Hey, Tom?!
Tom, it's me!
I brought you soup
and I know that you're home!
It's that really excellent soup
from that little Polish place.
Tom
I know I know
that I am the last person
that you want to see.
I just I don't know.
I thought maybe we could talk
through the door.
I just feel like you need some
semblance of human contact.
I don't blame you for for
wanting to keep your distance,
I mean, pandemic or not.
I just want you to know
that you're not alone.
[KEVIN GARRETT'S "REFUSE" PLAYS]
[SHIVERS]
MEREDITH: Experts say
the more resilient we are,
the better we can face
life's challenges.
[THUNDER CRASHES]
I'm okay alone
[SEAGULLS CRYING]
It makes my soul stir
I was so mad at you.
What, for leaving you?
For choosing someone over yourself.
I didn't know I was gonna die.
Do you regret it?
Keep my head in the dirt
Does that matter?
You'd have done the same thing.
Isn't that why you're here?
Slow crash
Stumble over nothing on my own path
Yeah. I guess.
So it's your fault.
[BOTH LAUGH]
How do you figure?
No one ever wanted me to go back
Because you
went all-in for everybody.
Your friends, your family,
a woman at the bus stop.
You think that didn't somehow affect me?
But I refuse
You changed my life, George.
I didn't say it then, but it's true.
And the single biggest factor
for cultivating resilience?
Far away from home
Positive relationships.
Forgot my address
[MONITOR BEEPING]
Mind is still on loan
For what it's worth, I think
you made the right call,
putting her in the trial.
I've known Meredith
since she was a child.
I watched her operate
on her dolls in the OR gallery.
I took her for milk and cookies
in the cafeteria.
I helped her get over her fear
of the film review room
because that's where she thought
we kept the skeletons.
I know I am anything but uncouth
And then I watched her
become a surgeon, a wife
a mother, and a chief.
You know, I knew COVID patients
had to suffer in isolation.
But I never gave any thought
to how helpless
and alone it feels
for the people who care about them.
I ref-u-u-use
Yes, I ref-u-u-use
No, no, no, no, no
[THUNDER CRASHES]
Yes, I refuse
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
So find your people
Ooh, ooh
and keep them close.
Ooh, ooh, yes, I refuse
Because when you're at your lowest
those people get you through.