South Park s24e98 Episode Script

1
Oof, I feel silly.
They're not gonna let us in!
Will you just come on.
You gotta loosen up, Mr. Adler.
But this is the most popular
place in town right now!
We can get in!
Just comb your hair,
you know, look your best.
I can get us in.
Come on, man. We've been
waiting for hours!
You guys have plenty of
vaccinations in there,
just let us in, man.
55 and older and first responders only.
On, uh, hey, uh,
we'd like to get in there
and get some vaccinations, mkay.
Are you on the list?
Well, no, I'm not on the list.
I tried to get on the list.
I sat on my computer 30 nights in a row
trying to make a vaccination appointment
and get on the god damn list.
Look the thing is
we are school faculty, mkay.
You gotta let us in!
No, no, you have to let in people
with health issues first!
I am a chain smoker and
my wife is 39 pounds overweight!
I have a compromised immune system!
I have genital warts,
and I will show them to you!
Over 55, first responders
and Group 2-B only!
Now beat it!
Hey, hey, man,
I'm a friend of Dan Roberts
he's a dental assistant in conifer
Get the fuck outta here.
I said you're not gettin' in!
You're wastin your time!
Oh, hello, ma'am. Right this way.
Awww!
79, bitchesssss!
- Booooo!
- You suck!
You suck you stupid old people!
Stan, Kyle, can you come
over here real quick?
Recess is almost over, dude.
Just come here please, it's important.
Hey, Kenny, I got the guys, okay?
You wanna talk or you want me to talk?
You can talk.
You guys, Kenny and I are feeling like,
even though things are
supposedly getting better
with the pandemic,
we're more depressed than ever.
The four of us just seem really
different towards each other
and we're worried the past year has put
a strain on our broship.
Kenny was saying he wants
to do everything he can
to save the broship,
and I agree with him.
So we had a really positive
talk about it during lunch,
and Kenny shared some ideas of how maybe
we can navigate through this,
and I think
we came up with a great idea.
Okay, so, you know how
chicks have periods right?
- What?
- It's true!
Women have 'periods'
where they bleed from their vagina.
Remember earlier today, Stan,
you said our teacher was wearing white?
So when we talked I said to Kenny,
"Oh, what if teacher got her period?,"
which cheered us up a
bit and then we realized
today was hamburger day for lunch.
There was lots of ketchup laying around.
So me and Kenny snuck into
the classroom during recess
and put it on the teacher's chair,
and now when we get back
to class there's gonna be
a bunch of ketchup on the
teacher's chair and when
she stands up it's gonna totally
look like she got her period!
It's going to be amazing,
you guys. I'm so excited!
Okay, class. Hope everyone
had a good lunch.
Okay, how did everyone
do on their fractions?
Are there any questions?
I know the last few
were a little tricky.
Shhh! Kyle, Kyle! Shhhh!
Mrs. Nelson,
I couldn't figure out number 14.
Number 14. Okay.
Well, let's look at it together.
What?
What? What is what is this?
Oh, my God. Teacher had her period!
Kids, something must be wrong with me.
Is this a prank?
That's nasty, teacher.
Don't have your
period during class time!
You think this is funny?
I come here,
and I risk my life to teach you?
And I can't even get
a vaccination because
teachers aren't important enough?!
And I get on the websites and
can't even get a straight answer
on when I'll get vaccinated?!
Well, I'm over it!
I can't do this anymore!
You guys, I think that might
have been the single most
hilarious thing we've ever done.
Which one should we post, you guys?
Should we post the one where
you can see the most blood
on teacher's ass or
the one where she makes
the dumbest face?
You're not posting anything!
Do you have any idea what you've done?
What do you mean, dude?
Yeah, we finally get back to
school and have some sense
of normalcy and you guys
make the teacher walk out!
Hey, at least Kenny and
I were doing something
to try and get that spark back!
You know 30 percent of broships
didn't make it through the pandemic?
What if they make us go
back to remote learning?!
I don't want to go back to
being quarantined at home
like some of the other kids still are!
Hey, fellas!
Anything fun happen at school today?!
Yeah, you missed it!
It was the best thing ever!
We put ketchup in the teacher's seat
and made her think it was her period!
Oh, my gosh! That sounds
like so much fun!
Yeah, pretty much greatest
day of our lives.
Do you guys know
how hard it's going to be
for them to find us a
replacement teacher?
It's not gonna be hard.
They'll bring in some lame ass teacher
who's desperate to work.
How bad can it be?
Oh
I'm back!
Hey, South Park! I'm home!
Holy shit, is that who I think it is?
Any luggage from below, sir?
Oh, yes, I've got a lot of baggage!
Hey! Hey, Valmer! How're ya doing?!
Tucker! Lookin' good!
Oh, it's so great to see everybody!
Hey! Fuck you!
Hey, hey, lookin' good, Thompson!
Did your wife get that AIDS test?!
You know, the simple truth is,
teaching is my life.
I'm just completely at
home in the classroom.
I realize that now more than
ever after my little sabbatical.
Yes Your, sabbatical was
somewhat controversial.
Well, I just went through
a little thing.
You know, I I realized I was gay.
And then I realized I wasn't gay,
I was a woman.
And after I transitioned,
I thought it was
a little mistake and then
I went through a phase
of being the President
of the United States.
Well, that is the problem, Mr. Garrison,
as someone who previously
identified as President,
there could be safety issues.
Oh, that's not a problem.
Anyone who has been
President is assigned
secret service for the rest of
their lives to keep them protected.
Mr. Service!
This is my private security,
Mr. Service.
Hello.
Uh, thank you for your application,
Mr. Garrison.
We'll keep you in mind as a backup,
but hopefully the vaccination process
is going to start opening up.
Come on, man, it's ridiculous
that people can't get in.
Yeah, you know,
in Israel they vaccinate everybody.
Israel's way cooler
than this lame place!
So then go to Israel.
I tried I couldn't get in.
Tom, I'm outside of
the hottest place in town,
and what we'd like to do now is take you
for an exclusive look inside.
You're not getting in, pal.
I'm actually willing to
go inside and get a shot
so that everyone can
see just how safe it is.
I said get lost, your not getting in.
Get outta my face.
Please give me a shot.
Please, all I want is a shot.
Just that one shot that
could change everything.
Everyone clear outta the way.
Clear the entrance.
We have VIPs coming out.
Whoo-hoo!
Where to next, everybody?!
That was our second shot.
Let's go out to the bars!
- Yeah!
- Alright!
Old people suck!
Hah? Can't hear ya.
Got too many antibodies in my ears!
- Hahaha!
- Hahahah!
Hey there, Billy!
Still gotta wear that mask, huh?
We're all vaccinated now!
I'm gonna go out to
the bars and get some pussy!
Yeahhhh!
Okay, grandpa.
Sayyy When are they gonna
vaccinate you kids?
Oh, yeah! You're last!
Have fun social distancing, loser!
Hey, broships. You ready for
some substitute teacher action?
This should be fun!
Hey, kids!
Guess who's baaaaaaaaack?
- Awwwwww!
- Oh no!
- Eww!
- Yuck!
Well, I know you've all had
a lot of time off this past year.
Oh, dear Christ, what have we done?
But it's time to get
you all back on track.
Now, I expect discipline and
respect in this classroom
both to me and your new
teachers assistant, Mr. Service.
Hand these papers out, Mr. Service.
Nice going, you dumb cocks!
Stupid assholes!
You guys are dicks.
Wow, people are really pissed
at us for doing
the period joke, you guys.
Why do people think we
all did the period joke?
Well, because I told them we all did.
People know we're bros and
that we do everything together!
You guys are gonna go and tell everyone
the truth about who's fault this is!
I didn't do anything!
That's right, Kyle, you did nothing.
You knew about the prank,
you could have stopped it
at any time, but you didn't say a word.
- Silence is violence, Kyle.
- What?! Dude!
Are you just gonna stand there
and listen to this crap?!
I don't even know what to do!
If you ask me, this this whole pandemic
has been a giant waste of time!
Oh, my God
Maybe our broship didn't survive.
Will you shut up about that!?
Nobody cares about your stupid broship!
And now you've made Kenny cry.
Nope
Nope
Nope
I don't see you anywhere on the list.
It's 'Gnomes', 'Underpants Gnomes'.
We are essential workers!
Yeah, yeah. Get in line
with the rest of us!
Is anybody here actually on the list?!
Uh, yes it's uh, Tom, Fireman Tom, mkay.
Will you fucking get lost, pal?
I don't know what you're talking about!
- Alright, that's it.
- I'm a hero of the community.
I'm Fireman Tom!
- Yeahhhh!
- Partyyyy!
Okay, let's see
Scissors, paper, glue, ah,
some good old fashioned
number 2 pencils.
That's what my students need.
Mr. Service, can you grab a couple boxes
of those pencils over there?
Would you look at that?
He ruined our entire country
and now he's just back
like nothing happened.
Okay, I think that's all
the school supplies we need.
Let's grab some healthy snacks
for the class snack basket.
Oh. Oh, I see.
Look, every one,
there's a gay man shopping!
I happen to be the only
teacher brave enough
to teach your kids right now,
so you better all get
real woke real fast!
Come on, Mr. Service!
Uh, hey! Excuse me?!
Hey, uh, I'm not sure if you
remember me. Bob White?
I just want you to know I
was always on your side.
In fact, all of us Whites
were really on your side.
Look, I'm just a teacher. Okay?
Just a teacher,
I'm shopping for my class.
So, look, uh,
what are we supposed to do now?
You know, I'm a follower of QAnon.
What are we supposed to do
to stop the vaccinations?
They're vaccinating people right now,
seeding people with their microchips!
Surely, you have a plan?!
We're on the Internet every
night waiting for word.
The word is get a fucking life, jackass!
Blow shit out your dickhole!
Did you hear that, honey?
He said "shit out your dickhole"
He's trying to give us
some kind of signal.
Think my life doesn't matter!?
I show you what matters!
Counselors matter. That's what matters.
Let's just see how your
god damn school functions
without a god damn counselor!
Oh, god dammit.
Hey! Hey, you damn old people!
Stop doing donuts in
the school parking lot!
Hah? I said you old people need to
Fucking old people
rubbing everyone's noses
in their fun times!
What?!
I've been having a lot
of problems with my friends.
It just seems like
the pandemic exposed problems
we didn't even know were there.
To be honest,
I'm not sure that I even see
a future with these guys.
What?!
Hey, Kenny. Guys?
Guys, come on. You agreed to counseling.
Hey, Mr. Mackey.
We, uh, we've been having
a lot of problems and um,
we all want to work on our broship,
don't we guys?
- Yes.
- Yes.
You know this pandemic has
been a pressure cooker,
and we just feel like
we're going through
the brotions. You know?
Because you guys pulled a prank and made
the teacher leave,
and now everybody hates us.
Silence is violence, Kyle.
Silence is violence.
Guess what, boys? I don't care.
I come here and I listen to you
kids bitch about your stupid
problems everyday, and I'm 50 years old!
I could die tomorrow
from this Covid shit!
Please, Mr. Mackey, we just want to get
our old teacher back
for everybody, okay?
Can you just tell her we're really,
really sorry?
It's not that simple.
There's only one way you're
getting your teacher back,
and that's if teachers get
their hands on the vaccine.
How do we do that?
There's a place in town
Very hard to get into.
Very exclusive.
Walgreens.
I've tried to get in many times
Dressed like a fireman, mkay.
Dressed like a little ol' lady,
but they got security up the ass.
You find a way inside,
get all the vaccines you can
and bring them here to the school.
You do that, and you just
might get your teacher back.
Mkay.
My friends,
these are very dangerous times.
Our country's future is at a precipice.
And that is why I have
called together every
QAnon follower in our town.
Let's forget it, Bob. The bad guys won.
I feel like someone pooped on my life.
They didn't win!
We just recently received
a new coded message.
You got a message from Q?
Not from Q
From the chosen one.
Yes, we saw him.
In the produce section
of the grocery store.
And he said to me
"Blow shit our your dickhole".
I immediately knew something was amiss,
because one can't move feces
through their penile urinary tract!
So I've been going over it
and over it and I realized
Blow shit out dick hole BSDH.
We all know what BS is, but DH?
It didn't make sense.
Until my wife reminded me
that DH are the initials
of David Harris, the anon from Akron,
Ohio who said that
the elite use Latin to
send coded messages.
Out your dick hole
Anno Yanis Domini Homme.
Do what he does.
The chosen is teaching now.
He's taking Q's message
straight to the children.
And he wants us to do the same.
We're supposed to be teachers?
There's an incredible shortage
of teachers right now.
He's trying to tell us that
this is our time to strike!
The elite want to fuck with our kids?
We'll fuck theirs!
Hello, sir!
- Who are you?
- Oh, hey, hi.
We're with the nonprofit
service Kids for Kommunity.
Both spelled with a K.
Yeah, we assist senior
citizens who need the vaccine,
but then need help getting
to the right place.
Oh, really?
That's pretty damn awesome you guys.
I wish more people could
be like the Kommunity Kidz.
Go on in.
- Awwww!
- Come on!
Hey, I'm in Kommunity Kidz, too!
Holy shit, dude. That was pretty easy!
Yeah bros! Kommunity
Kidz spelled with a K.
Gets 'em every time.
Alright, so where's my goddamn money?
- What?!
- I told you I already got the vaccine.
I'm doin' this for the cash!
Yeah, but we already paid you.
Oh, I must have Alzheimer's,
I'm just an old lady.
Pay again or I squeal!
You god damn old bitch!
- Just pay her, Cartman.
- What?!
Come on, the pharmacist is coming!
This is becoming the most
expensive period joke we ever did!
Excuse me,
what are you children doing in here?
We're Kommunity Kidz.
We help seniors get vaccinated.
Oh, well that's very great.
These boys are helping you, ma'am?
Oh, actually I'm not sure.
I have a little Alzheimer's.
Might need a little more
greenback to jar my memory.
Oh, you fucking slut!
This is why we keep old people
in the back of the line!
Cartman, just stick to the fucking plan!
Oh, great, Kyle.
Now he knows there's a plan!
What plan?!
They're lying about Kommunity Kidz!
It's community with a C like normal?!
Kenny, grab the vaccines!
- Ooof.
- Run!
Go, go, go, go!
Hey Kommunity Kidz have vaccines!
For the last time, Ellen,
I don't want our son
going to that public school!
Mr. Garrison is a terrible teacher,
he has no grip on the classroom
and he's the worst President
we've ever had!
But Scott has to go to school, dear.
So we can get him a private tutor!
We can't afford a private tutor,
you know that.
Hey, guys, what's the problem?
It's that son of a bitch, Mr. Garrison.
He's gonna completely screw up our kids.
Well, that's why we
pulled Tweek out of school.
Haven't you heard?
There's a brand new
private tutoring company
that's fast and affordable!
Has your child fallen behind in school?
Do you feel like the government
has failed you and your child
during the time of Covid?
Then call us! The tutors at Tutornon!
Forget the classroom!
Tutornon is bespoke
learning that is straight
from the Internet to your child.
We sift through all the
information on the Internet
and present it to your child for
a uniquely curated experience.
Forget all the Zooms and masks
and social distancing at school.
Let Tutornon save your child. Literally!
Contact Tutornon today!
On Facebook, YouTube and Twitter!
Alright, Scott. Your new tutor is here.
Hey, there! Ready to get back
on track with your schoolwork?
I guess so.
You better pay attention
and listen to everything
he has to teach you!
We'll be great, thanks!
Alright, sit down.
We don't have much time!
Tom Hanks and Oprah are
just two at the very top
of an elite group of people who control
everything we see and do.
They feed upon children in order
to maintain their elite status,
and that isn't the worst of it.
Do you know what pedophilia is?
- Here, let me show you.
- Dad?!
Tom, I'm standing outside
the ultra-exclusive Walgreens
where earlier today vaccines were taken
by that group of young Robin Hoods,
the Kommunity Kids.
These brave kids have taken
it into their own hands
to get people a shot.
That's all people want,
just a shot, and these boys
have made it so you just
might get that shot.
And have a chance at hope
and some happiness in this
in this shit world
Okay, thank you, Chris.
We'll get back
No! No, Fuck you, Tom,
because Kommunity Kidz
are just what this town
and this world needed!
And it's amazing that some
kids took some god damn time
to actually go out and do something.
Fuck you, Tom.
Alright, children. Let's take our seats.
Today is standardized testing.
We're going to make sure you
lazy ducks have still been
studying through this global pandemic.
- Sir?
- Yes, Mr. Service?
Where the hell is everybody?
I said where are my students?!
Bebe! You always know where Wendy is!
Where is she?!
I think her parents
pulled her out of school
and got her a private tutor.
A private tutor?!
Why would they get a private tutor?!
Um I'm pretty sure it's
because her parents hate you.
What makes you think that?!
Because I was talking
to them about it
Because I hate you, too.
I am tying to get things
back to normal around here!
Why is everyone acting like this?!
Why is everyone against me?!
I don't know, sir.
I'm gonna get to the bottom of this!
Come on, Mr. Service!
Hello?
Hi, Mrs. Nelson. It's Eric Cartman!
What do you want?
Mrs. Nelson, we would like
for you to come back
to school tomorrow, because
we have Covid-19 vaccinations!
Really? You think I'm gonna
let you prank me again?
I heard you were the ones responsible
for the period prank.
And it was so uncalled for and so wrong.
I mean, especially because we're guys.
I mean, dudes sitting around
coming up with period jokes,
like, how old are we? Seriously?
Yeah, I don't trust you.
I'll just wait until the
government decides teachers
are important enough to
get their vaccinations.
You are so important.
Which is why it was so
not funny what we did.
I mean, what is funny about
blood coming out of a woman's vagina?
Like, it's sexist, first of all,
and you know what else?
It's just lazy.
Just dialing it in,
that's what we were doing.
We were just dialing it in.
You better be at school
tomorrow morning,
and you better really have vaccinations.
For all the teachers.
Hey, we will be there. Period.
Okay. Okay, cool. Bye.
Did you guys hear what I said?!
Why did you almost blow it
at the very end, you idiot?!
Relax. guys. She's gonna come.
Will you please say something to him?!
What the hell did I do?!
You guys stop it! Stop it!
This is my moment
This is my tiiiiimmmeee
Hello?!
I've got a dream to fulfill
And all I need is a shot
Please
Please just gimme a shot!
Listen, Kommunity Kidz!
All I want is a shot!
And you can gimme that shot!
That one shot, that's all I need!
All I want is a shot, too!
If I had a shot,
I would make the most of it!
- Gimme a shot!
- I just wanna shot too!
- Please I need a shot!
- I gotta have the shot!
If I just had a shot
I would make it the best shot
Wow, everyone just really wants a shot.
Kommunity kids, please!
If you just give me a shot,
why, I could be somebody.
I could go out to fancy restaurants
like all them old people.
And eat shrimp as big as my head!
Hey, you're not taking my shot!
This is my shot!
I I have to have this shot!
Grab the vaccines.
I think we better get outta here.
This is a fact
We are all being controlled by an elite,
wealthy and privileged few.
When Jeffrey Epstein, the billionaire,
was found guilty of sex trafficking,
he was set to squeal on
all the elites in Hollywood
and in Washington who used
his child sex services
But Epstein was found
dead in his cell from "suicide."
Why do the elites want
children from sex traffickers?
Adrenochrome.
It is harvested from
children for a euphoric
and life-enhancing benefit.
This satanic cabal of
Hollywood and political elites
all need the adrenochrome to maintain
their positions of power.
And they will continue to do so until
we stand up against them.
Now, do you have any questions, Craig?
Um
So does Oprah drink
the same blood as Obama
or is it usually a different kid?
It's kids from all over the world.
Now, it's time for me to
tell you the biggest thing
that the Hollywood elites
don't want you to know
Alright, just what the hell
do you think you're doing?!
- Oh!
- Go tutor someone else!
You think you can take my
students from my classroom?!
Oh, my God! It's you!
That's right it's me!
The head teacher at
South Park Elementary!
And this is what I
think of private tutors!
Get her, Mr. Service!
Now who's in charge of all you tutors?!
It's it's secret
Choke her out, Mr. Service!
No! Please!
Who started this bogus
tutoring company?!
It was It
I'm listening!
It was the Whites.
The Whites?
That guy was harassing
me at the grocery store.
Come on, Mr. Service!
Time to deal with the Whites!
I guess 2021 is gonna be just like 2020.
- All good?
- I don't see anybody.
I think we're safe here until
school starts in the morning.
We're actually gonna sleep here?
I don't see what choice we have.
- Oh, my God.
- What?
- You guys, oh, my God, seriously.
- What?
You guys know Mr. Lawson?
Jenny Lawson's dad?
Yeah?
He's offering us 2,000
bucks for a vaccination.
What are you doing?
Dude, people really want their shot.
I'm asking around to see what
they're willing to pay for it.
I'm a little Harvey Weinstein.
We are giving these to the
teachers at the school!
Kyle, this is what our broship needs!
We can sell these and go
on vacations together,
go to shows and theme parks!
What the broship needs is
for us to do the right thing
and fix the problem
of everyone hating us!
Right, Stan?
I say we take the vaccines ourselves.
I mean, why are us kids last?
This whole pandemic has been about
doing what's best for adults.
Maybe for the broship we
do what's best for us.
What's best for us is
thousands of dollars.
That's always what's best!
You guys are being selfish!
You're not thinking about
what's best for the broship.
You're thinking about
what's best for you.
We did all this because we wanted to fix
the damage of the period prank.
That means taking these to
the school tomorrow morning
for our teachers.
I'm gonna put these somewhere safe
so nobody gets tempted
to do the wrong thing!
I don't know why you don't
stand up to him more,
it's really disappointing.
Oh, crap.
Hey, Dad. Look, I'm okay.
I won't be home until tomorrow 'cause
Well, I'm doing something
really important.
Oh, okay, Kyle. Sounds good!
Thanks, buddy!
You're not worried?
Hey, we trust you, Kyle!
Say, Kyle, we heard you have
some COVID-19 vaccinations.
They're for our teachers.
Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes sense.
You know if you think your
teacher is worth saving
more than us
It's not like that.
Well, it sounds like that!
Sounds like your teacher's life
is more important than
your mom and dad's!
You know, when all this went down,
the school wasn't really
there for you, was it?
School kind of abandoned you kids.
But your parents, well
We didn't shove you off
into a Zoom meeting did we?
- Dad, please don't
- You know,
we're not spring chickens anymore.
The virus is still out there, Kyle,
and it's still killing people.
I don't know how you'd feel is
Mom or me got COVID and died
in these last few months
because you did nothing.
Don't do nothing, Kyle.
You know what, Kyle?
- Please don't say it.
- Silence is violence, Kyle.
Don't kill Mom, buddy.
Shit.
Go get that will you, Crystal?
Who is it sweetheart?
It's the savior of our country
and still President of the United States
who was impeached unjustly.
Get them, Mr. Service!
Aah!
What's this all about?
Did we do something wrong?
God damn right you did something wrong!
Our public school system is dying
and you tutors are trying
to take advantage of it!
But we were just trying to be like you!
You'll never be like me!
I've been a teacher for 30 years!
I'm just trying to get my old life back
and assholes keep getting in my way!
But we have to tell children the truth!
They have to know!
They have to know what?!
About About the whole thing!
About the vaccinations!
That the pandemic was
blown out of proportion!
That Venezuelan socialists
switched out circuit
boards from voting machines
- in 12 states!
- Good, sweetie!
Don't you understand everything
is being manipulated!
Everyone's being manipulated
So that's why everyone in town is being
such an inconsiderate
jerk about me coming back?
Yes. They don't want people to like you.
They need people to hate you!
Who are they?
They're the elites.
They do whatever they want
and they feed on the pain
and torture of children!
And if anybody starts to care,
they'll just cut us off
when we tell the truth!
And the truth is that
Kyle?
What are you doing?
I'm just getting things ready to go.
So then why are you replacing
some of the vaccines
with Cactus Cooler?
Alright, Stan, look.
It's just the pressure of everything,
okay?!
My dad called and
I don't want my mom to die.
I don't want my mom to die either!
I can't believe that
you would lie to me.
That you would hide shit from me.
Hey, guys, what's going on?
Nothing, Kenny. Everything's fine.
Yeah, we're gonna go
to the school now, buddy.
Okay.
I'm gonna just try and
pretend this didn't happen.
But only because it's
what's best for Kenny.
I can't believe we
are actually doing this.
There are people who really need
these vaccines who have cash.
I just want this over with.
Let's get these stupid things
to the teachers and go home.
I don't think so, Kommunity Kidz!
You're not poisoning anybody
with those vaccinations!
The fuck you talking about, Scott?
I've learned the truth!
And I won't let you hurt the teacher!
We don't have time for this Scott.
You don't understand!
I'm part of a militant group now!
A secret cabal of patriot children!
Lil' QTies!
Lil' QTies? With a "Q" and
an apostrophe after the "L"?
That's way better than
Kommunity Kidz, guys.
I told you we're getting lazy.
Move in on my position, QTies!
You're not hurting our teacher again!
You don't even know what those
vaccines are doing to people!
For the whole past year,
our feelings and our needs
have been put dead last!
Do you guys really
trust anybody anymore?
- Yeah!
- Butters?
You're a part of this too?
I just wanted to believe in something
that would get me out of the house!
I didn't give a shit what it was!
Now just put down the vaccines
and walk away, Kommunity Kidz.
Look, you guys have
a right to say and believe
whatever you want, okay?
But what you believe is really stupid.
We'll see who's stupid!
Yeah! Y-Yeah!
Tom, I'm standing outside
South Park Elementary,
where the Kommunity Kidz
were set to distribute
vaccines to the public.
That's when a rival gang showed
up and tried to stop them,
and the fighting is still going on now.
You can see behind me most
of the damage is done,
but it is still raging on, Tom.
You can see this awful gang is
trying to stop Kommunity Kidz
just because Kommunity
Kidz believe in something
and actually and actually care!
They care enough to do something!
Yeah, that's basically what
the Lil' QTies are doing too,
- right, Chris?
- What do you mean, Tom?
Well, the Kommunity Kidz
are acting on something
they believe in and so are
the Lil' QTies, am I right?
What is the difference?
Oh, yeah, well, the difference, Tom,
is that you are a giant piece of shit.
That's the fucking difference!
- Okay, let's just
- You're gonna even remotely
defend these monsters
when Kommunity Kidz
are promoting change, just
Fuck you, Tom! I'm out!
Oh, no! Oh, Jesus, look!
- This is my shot!
- My shot!
Grab the vaccines!
We got to get outta here!
Yeah! Y-Yeah!
Come on! I can show
you my Q headquarters!
Jesus, you people really
take this seriously.
Vaccinations are nothing more
than a way for the elite
and powerful to control us.
We've been trying to warn everyone,
and then Q released a new post saying
the most important day would be March 4.
At first, it didn't make sense.
Nothing's happening on March 4th!
Until I saw a Super Bowl ad
for a new streaming service
which launched on March 4!
Streaming is also the the term used
for the nano-technology microchips
invented by Bill Gates that
are being put into a liquid
and then shot into
people's arms as a vaccine!
Who the hell is doing all this?
The Hollywood elites!
All of them, rich, powerful people
who got to where they were
by drinking adrenochrome
from tortured children!
Anyone who gets vaccinated
is going to be tracked
and manipulated for
the rest of their lives.
I got an e-mail that all
teachers are about to be
vaccinated at the school!
You're telling me they're all
going to become mindless zombies
who are fine with child murder!
- Yes!
- Aw geez,
we gotta get to the school!
I'll let all the other 'anons know!
We'll put a stop this once a for all!
Let's do this!
Hey! What the hell just happened?!
It's the Hollywood
elites! They're onto us!
Come on!
Oh, my holy Jesus!
Don't want the truth coming out, huh?
Damn you!
We will get to the school!
You can't stop us!
I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time.
I don't know why I believed them
when they said they had vaccinations.
I don't know why I
believe anything anymore.
Yes?!
Hi, Ms. Nelson. How are you?!
Cut the crap!
You said you'd be here at 7:00 AM!
And, you know,
we just ran into a little hiccup,
so we wanted to see if you
could meet us somewhere else
- for the vaccine.
- Oh, no.
I knew this was a prank.
You're not tricking me
into going anywhere!
No, no, Ms. Nelson, it's not a prank!
Okay, fine, we'll be there, okay?
Just sit tight.
What was that?!
You know we can't get into school!
- She's not gonna come meet us, Kyle!
- You didn't even try!
He didn't try because he wants
to sell the vaccines for money!
And what about you, Kyle?
You were the one trying to take
the vaccines for yourself this morning.
He what?!
Wow. Okay. Thought that
we had gotten past that, but
Look, let's just face it, you guys.
We don't trust each other
and we don't like each other.
We can't keep pretending.
Are you seriously saying what I think?
Alright, guys.
I guess it's time we all had the
talk we never wanted to have.
Kenny you wanna go be on
your iPad for a minute?
What? No, I wanna hear this!
We just
We need to talk for a second, Kenny.
Look, I downloaded "Madagascar 3."
You wanna watch with your
"Troll" headphones?
Yeah, okay.
Look, it's been a hard year.
And I think for some people
there's just no going back.
I've been trying as hard as I
can to hold things together,
but I have to admit
I'm just going through the "brotions."
We can't just force
things for Kenny's sake.
It's not good for us and
it's not good for him.
We still have a bunch of vaccines here.
What happens now?
I think I have a plan.
An explosive powder keg of
humanity is set to go off
at South Park Elementary!
Thousands of people have
turned up to get their shot
that one shot that
could change everything.
But also in the crowd are several people
who want to stop those
vaccines from happening.
At the center of it all
that amazing group of kids
who are just taking the time
for what they believe is right.
I'm talking, of course,
about the Lil' QTies.
A group of youngsters that
believe vaccines are harmful.
Yeah Yeah,
I see what you did there, Tom.
- That's real fucking cute.
- I'm not trying to be cute.
I'm saying if these kids really believe
the horrific things they believe,
then they'd be bad people not to go out
and do something about it,
wouldn't they?
Yes, that's totally true
if you're a corrupt
dickhead without morals.
- You gotta be fucking
- Okay, okay, Chris,
let's just get back to the weather.
Yeah, let's get back to the weather,
you cunt.
Come on, Mr. Service,
we have to get back to the school!
My My balls are freezing, sir.
Mr. Service's balls are freezing!
Don't give in to them!
They're trying to make
a joke of everything!
That's what they do.
How do the elites control
Mr. Service's balls?
You still don't get it, do you?!
They don't just drink adrenochrome,
they run the show!
The whole damn show!
It comes down to two people
Oh, you don't like that, do you?!
That's getting a little close
to home, huh?!
You can't control me anymore,
you sons a bitches!
They're making fun of me to
try and discredit my beliefs!
Oh, you don't like that, do you?!
Don't let the world know that!
Listen! Listen, whoever you are!
I don't give a shit what you do!
What?! What are you saying?!
Please! I just want my old life back!
No, stop! They're monsters!
I don't care what you do to kids,
I just want people to like me again!
You son of a bitch!
Aah! Aah! Mr. Service!
Wow.
Okay. What the hell is this?
Hey, come back!
How would you like to make a deal?
Alright, here's the situation
all of our teachers
are inside the school,
surrounded now by at least 400
to 500 people who want a shot.
The Lil' QTies are stationed
throughout and we
and we are no longer bros.
The magic is gone and
we are through, is that right?
Yup.
But we all want what's best for Kenny,
so we have to find a way to compromise
and move on with our lives.
So how do we do it?
We use a 2-2-3.
Kyle, you have Kenny for
two days starting on Monday.
I have Kenny Thursday and Friday,
and then, Stan,
you get him for the weekend.
Then we switch where I
have Kenny starting Monday,
Stan gets two days and
Kyle gets a weekend.
Do we really have to do this?
That all seems overly confusing.
Okay, so we can go alternating weeks
each one of us has Kenny for
six days and then we rotate.
A week is a long time for
Kenny to be with one person.
Alternating weeks with a midweek visit.
We have longer stretches,
but a chance for a break.
Aw, come on. What about sleepovers?
We can't take those away from Kenny.
Alternating weeks
with midweek overnight.
It would be easier if I
just knew I always had
Kenny on certain days.
3-3-4-4 rotation.
Makes everyone's days consistent
hang on a second, guys.
Everything okay, buddy?
Yeah, what's going on?
We're almost done in here, Kenny.
You liking that birthday
cake-flavored ice cream?
- Yeah, it's fine, but I
- Okay, you're doing great, pal.
The 3-3-4-4 is the most consistent,
but to change weekends, we would need
the 2-2-5-5 rotation,
where the weekends
can actually fluctuate.
I don't even know what to say
Well, I say that out of all of those
the first one makes the most sense.
The 2-2-3, I agree.
This way we don't have to be bros
but Kenny still has
the best possible life.
2-2-3.
That's so ridiculous
that it just might work.
We've just received
devastating news here
at South Park Elementary.
It appears that the Kommunity Kidz
are breaking up.
They have asked for people to
"respect their privacy
in these difficult times,"
and it appears that the
strain of this pandemic,
from people like you,
Tom, was just too much.
- Oh, here we go, here we go.
- Yeah, here we go!
You just couldn't leave 'em
alone could you, ya prick?!
Okay, Chris, let's just
They broke up 'cause
of you and your stupid
Wait. Wait, wait wait.
Wait a minute. What is this?
Tom, one of the Kommunity Kidz
has shown up to the school
with the vaccines!
Finally! I'm gonna get my shot!
Alright, QTies, this is it!
Prepare for the storm!
Dude, what are you doing?
You're gonna get yourself killed.
This isn't our fight anymore, Kyle.
We set out to do something.
I'm not letting our broship
fall to the pandi just yet.
Alright
then let's get those
vaccines to the teachers.
Okay, let's do this.
Hey!
Hold on a second everybody!
I think I can
I think I can help things out here!
What the fuck is that?
It's him! The Chosen one!
He's come to save us all
like the prophecy
foretold on the Internet!
Wait, he's the Chosen one?
Listen! Listen, everybody.
I I think I owe
you all a big apology.
I came in here expecting
everything to just go back to normal,
but we've all been through
the proverbial butthole
of hardships lately.
I thought we could all just
magically be friends again.
But relationships
are very fragile things,
and in time of crises when
we need each other most,
it's sometimes when
we grow furthest apart.
But through it all,
Mr. White here has taught me
a very important lesson.
Make sure you're on the side of
the people with the most power.
And so, I've worked out a deal
with some pretty powerful people
Alright, boys, do your thing!
Ahhhhh!
It's Air Israel
with enough vaccines
for every adult in town!
Hey, Garrison! Good job!
Yeah! You're alright, Garrison!
Oh, geez
Thanks, everybody.
Well, come on you guys!
Let's get inside!
Ms. Nelson?! We're here!
Boys! Boys, you made it!
Of course we made it!
'Cause our broship can survive anything!
Hello, Ms. Nelson!
We got your vaccination for you,
Ms. Nelson.
Boys you really did it.
I I can't believe it.
For a while there, I thought I
Excuse me.
I thought I wasn't gonna
Gosh excuse me.
As a teacher,
Ms. Nelson did everything she could
for her students.
So it seems even more unfair that she
was just a few days
late getting the vaccine
before she died of COVID.
And now as Mr. Garrison
takes over teaching
for Ms. Nelson permanently
I think we should all
take a moment to say
Hey! The rest of us made it, South Park!
We're on the other
side of this damn thing!
And so it's time for
adults to screw these masks
and party like it's 2021!
Down by the lazy river
One big family
If you're all alone,
you won't be long
Just bring your guitar
and sing your song
Hey, look at Walgreens! Nobody's going!
Yeah! That place used to
be cool and now it's lame!
So we still have some
of the pandemic special,
but the vaccination
special is about out!
Try 'em both
the season is about over, guys!
Back inside
the retirement home, old people!
All the fun places are ours again!
Aw!
Adults are all vaccinated!
Adults are all vaccinated!
- Well, I guess this is it
- Yeah.
I guess it is what's best for everybody.
What are you guys talking about?
Everything's gonna be okay, Kenny.
I'll see you on Monday.
And I'll come pick you up
on Thursday, Kenny.
Hey, I wish you guys all the best, huh?
Thanks. I'll be fine.
I already have some new
bros I'm hanging out with.
Hey, Cartman!
Yeah?
Dude, they're reopening
Casa Bonita this weekend.
Do you wanna come with us?
Casa Bonita?! Hell yeah, I'll come!
Oh, wait! I can't!
I have fucking Kenny this weekend!
Shit!
Nice doing business with you
you little child-murdering pedophiles.