South Park s29e03 Episode Script
You Like That On Your Face
1
[THEME MUSIC]
I'm goin' down to South America ♪
Have myself a time ♪
Friendly faces everywhere ♪
Humble folks without temptation ♪
I'm goin' down to South America ♪
Leave my woes behind ♪
Ample parking day or night ♪
People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪
I'm headin' on up to South America ♪
See if I can't unwind ♪
[MUMBLING] ♪
So come on down to South America ♪
Meet some friends of mine ♪
[TWANGY MUSIC]
So I say to Wendy, I'm like,
what do you want for
your birthday, right?
And you know what she says?
She says she wants
anti-aging face cream.
What?
Why the hell does Wendy
want anti-aging face cream?
I mean, she's ten.
That's what I said.
It's crazy, bro.
All these girls at school
are trying to look younger.
They watch these
TikToks of skin products
and they have apps
that rate their faces.
Bro, thank God guys don't
have to deal with that stuff.
Kyle? Kyle!
Dude, you gotta come quick.
Your little brother's
getting mogged in the hallway.
He's getting what?
Some Chad called your
little brother cringe,
and now they're having an aura battle.
There's a what?
God damn it, Kyle, some kid
tried to mog your little brother,
but it turned into an aura
battle. You gotta do something!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SINGING IN SPANISH]
[KIDS SHOUTING]
♪
A hell of an aura battle
still going on here in South America.
Ike Broflovski and Noah
Bailey going toe to toe.
Noah is, of course, an impressive
8.9 on the looksmaxxing app,
and Ike comes into the battle
today at just under 9.5.
Noah Bailey aura farming
with his perfect hair.
Oh, and Ike Broflovski has
just taken off his shirt.
Ike's really handing it to him now.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's going on here?
[CROWD BOOING]
Ike, put your shirt back on.
That's it. The aura
battle has been called.
Ike Broflovski, the
winner of this match.
Thanks for watching the "South
America Glazing" livestream,
and be sure to check out
today's sponsor, Sephora.
We belong to something beautiful.
[UTENSILS CLATTERING]
Mom, Dad, I think you need
to talk to your son about aura farming.
Talk to him about what?
It's this thing at school.
Ike's doing aura battles,
so he's trying to maximize his looks.
See? Ike's rubbing ice on his face
to de-bloat it so his
cheekbones look sharper.
Stop playing with your drink, Ike.
He's gonna do another
aura battle tomorrow,
but he's mixing it with looksmaxxing,
and it's a bad combination.
I don't understand what
you're talking about.
Ike, are you obsessed
about how you look?
Your mom asked you a question, Ike.
He can't answer it 'cause he's mewing.
- He's what?
- He's mewing.
He's pushing his tongue up
against the roof of his mouth
because he thinks it will
strengthen his jawline.
Kyle, that doesn't make any sense.
I know it doesn't make any sense.
That's why you need to talk to your son!
He's too young to be
worried about his looks.
[HAMMER CLATTERING]
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
[PHONE BOOPS]
Hey, Stan, what are you doing?
Are you watching porn?
No. I'm doing a looksmaxxing app.
Oh, OK.
Is that porn?
No, it's this thing
kids at school are doing.
- It says I have bad skin.
- What?
It uses AI to rate
the symmetry of your facial features
and then shows you exercises you can do
and products you can
buy to improve your skin.
Do I have bad skin?
Stan, if you want to look good,
then you get out there
on a bicycle like me
and you put in the work.
And if you want better
skin, you just eat right, OK?
I think you should get off of that app.
Just watch some porn
or something, all right?
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
[PHONE BOOPS]
The hell?
What's up, guys? Peter
Mullen's here once again
with a South America
aura battle livestream.
We're bringing you all the coverage
on the epic showdown that
just happened this morning
with Ike Broflovski out-mogging
Noah Bailey four to one.
Ike, that was a hell of a showing.
Your cheekbones looked incredible.
Yeah, I felt really
good out there, Peter.
Noah has a pretty strong jawline,
but luckily for me, his eyebrows suck.
Ike, your aura really
seems to be peaking.
How do you do it?
A lot of face creams, Peter.
A lot of training.
Gotta be ready for whoever's next.
Well, actually, we do know who's next.
The SA aura battle
livestream can confirm
that Ike Broflovski
has just been challenged
to an aura battle
by fourth-grader Chase Chadwick.
What? Chase Chadwick?
Chase, of course, the only person
to ever get a perfect score on Chadmaxx.
Oh, shit!
The fight is scheduled
for recess tomorrow.
Catch it all on my livestream,
and remember there's some
things money can't buy.
For everything else, there's Mastercard.
Oh, shit!
CARTMAN: This is gonna
be a bloodbath, dude.
Chase Chadwick has a
perfectly symmetrical face.
Total hunter eyes.
He's the kid whose mom let him
get a nose job when he was four.
What are you gonna do, Kyle?
I'm not gonna do anything.
This is all stupid.
Stupid?
Have you seen Chase Chadwick's skin?
It's literally flawless.
Well, it's not like bad
skin really matters, right?
I'm not gonna let Ike aura battle.
Not let him aura battle? Kyle,
that'll make everyone think
that Ike has just been aura
farming this whole time.
Kids are gonna call your
little brother cringe.
Yep, they will.
Look, like it or not, Kyle,
coolness and looks really
matter at this school.
- Hey, Wendy.
- Oh, hey, Stan.
Um, you know that face
cream stuff you wanted?
I was thinking maybe
we can go get you some.
Really? You wanna take me?
Yeah, I thought we could
pick you up some stuff.
OK. Thanks!
This is so nice of you,
Stan. I really appreciate it.
Yeah, no problem. So where are we going?
Right here.
Holy shit.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
This is a hydrating cream
that'll help with your wrinkles.
What do you think? You
like that on your face?
Yeah? You like that on
your face, don't you?
This should help reduce
the bags under your eyes.
How does that feel?
Yeah? You like that?
You like that on your face?
Yeah, let's get some
more of that on your face.
Wendy?
I wouldn't go in there if I were you.
Something not right in there.
My granddaughter wanted
to go to Brandy Melville.
Then she asked if she could
just stop in the Sephora.
That was 6 1/2 years ago.
There's something in
there men can't understand.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Wendy?
Oh, hey, Stan. Right over here.
[POP MUSIC PLAYING]
Wendy?
Can't find much
comfort in this place ♪
[EERIE STING]
Wendy?
[POP MUSIC FADING]
[EERIE TONES]
I don't think I like it here.
Uh, Wendy, could we maybe go now?
[EERIE MUSIC]
[UNEASY WHISPERING]
[FLUORESCENT LIGHTS BUZZING]
[DISTANT DISTORTED VOICES]
Wendy, I think maybe that's
enough time at Sephora.
[SCREAMS]
God damn it, Kyle, pick up your phone.
It's important.
Dude, you need to talk to your friend.
Because Ike needs help with
his aura battle, that's why!
What do you mean, you don't care?
I mean, I don't care.
I just spent 17 hours at Sephora,
and when I came out, it
had only been 13 minutes.
What are you talking about?
I'm saying I'm done, dude.
My dad was right.
If you want to look good, you just
need exercise and a proper diet.
I'm going back to doing dude stuff.
[LINE BEEPS]
[VIDEO GAME LASERS FIRING]
Oh, hey, Stan.
How's it going, bud?
Dad?
Yeah?
What the hell wait.
Did you go to Sephora?
Did I did I what?
No, why do you think I went to Sephora?
- Because you look a lot younger.
- Oh, thanks.
I've just been, you know,
riding my bike a lot, eating right.
No, Dad, I think you went to Sephora.
Stan, your dinner's almost whoa!
Randy?
What the hell did you do?
He went to Sephora.
No, I did not go to Sephora.
I took Shelley to Sephora,
and I waited outside.
No, you got stuck in
the back rooms of Sephora
and now nothing makes any sense.
The only thing not making
sense is you guys, OK?
If you don't mind, I'm gonna
have some Cocoa Puffs and beer.
PETER: Good morning, South America.
The big day has arrived,
and Chase Chadwick is getting ready
for his aura battle with Ike Broflovski.
Chase, how do you feel
about your chances?
I'm the coolest,
best-looking guy in the school,
and it's time for people to stop glazing
Ike Broflovski.
Broflovski's totally cringe,
and I'm gonna prove it.
Should be an epic battle
coming up later today,
right after fifth period.
[SIGHING] God damn it.
I guess you're pretty scared, huh?
Yeah
pretty scared.
Well, look.
I know you probably wish
you had a big brother
that would help you
out right now, but
don't be mad at Kyle.
I'm sure that, deep down,
your brother wants to help, OK?
Maybe he just
he just doesn't know how.
And he's a Jew.
Yeah.
I mean if I had a little brother,
he'd be my special little
guy, but Kyle's just
he's got a lot on his plate, you know?
Matza balls, bagels, kosher latkes
lot on his plate.
Look, Ike, what I'm trying to say is,
I don't think, just because your brother
doesn't understand your generation,
that he doesn't love you.
I can't beat him, can I?
Chase Chadwick?
[SIGHS]
No, I don't think you can beat him.
But what matters is
that we have you looking
as good as possible when it happens.
Maybe
Maybe I can help you
prepare for the aura battle.
Really? You will?
There's nothing wrong with losing,
as long as you look good doing it.
Oh, thank you!
Thank you, big brother.
It's all right.
Let's just get you prepared.
[BELL RINGING]
OK, children, let's take our seats.
Uh, where is Eric Cartman?
Does anyone know where Eric Cartman is?
Yes, Bebe?
Um, who cares?
Oh, OK.
Uh, well, children, before
we get started today,
I want to address all the aura farming
that's been going on
here in South America.
Thank you! Finally!
You know, there's been a lot of talk
of who's cool and looks
good and who's faking it,
and I thought we could apply that
to our lesson on people in history.
Abraham Lincoln. What you think?
Did he have a good
aura, or was he cringe?
He did some good things,
but he was probably cringe.
What about Martin Luther
King? What do we think?
Maybe a little cringe at the end there?
Little cringe? Yes, Kyle?
I think we should stop
rating looks and coolness
so that companies stop preying
on people's insecurities.
What's up, dudes?
Oh, no. Dad, what the
hell are you doing?
They're saying, 'cause I'm
younger, now I got to go to school.
No, Dad, you are not going to my school.
That's what I said!
But fucking Mom is all like,
"You did this to yourself!
You wanted to look younger.
Now you can just go to school!"
Stan, what is going on?
God damn it. My dad
went to Sephora, all right?
[CLAPS] All right, children.
We can welcome the new kid later.
Let's get back to the lesson.
Amelia Earhart.
Pretty cringe. What do you think?
Yes, new kid.
Is there any way I could get a beer?
[HORN HONKS]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
OK, it's right in here somewhere.
I'm taking you to the place
where all the chicks go
to look their very best.
[GIGGLING]
Since it's a school day,
this place should be dead.
Ah, here it is.
Oh, my God!
[CLAPPING] Wow!
Sephora!
FARMER FRED: You don't
want to go in there.
Six years, I been waitin',
watchin', while that
Sephora gets bigger.
Used to be an Orange
Julius next to it
but the Sephora ate it.
Cool. Thank you.
This is de-aging cream.
It's really milky and pearlescent.
What do you think? You like that?
You like that on your face?
Yeah, you like that on
your face, don't you?
See how it's sort of thick and creamy?
Yeah, you like that? You
like that on your face?
You want some more of that on your face?
Yeah, you like that, don't you?
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
All right, we got to make this
quick and get back to school.
Can I help you guys find anything?
Yeah, my friend has an
aura battle this afternoon,
so he needs to look and
smell like a total Chad.
Oh, OK. Well, that's a good
face cream you've got there.
That'll open up your pores
and help you look a little younger.
What do you think? You like that?
- Yeah!
- Yeah?
You like that on your face? Great.
You like that on your face, don't you?
You want some more of that? It's $89.95.
Whoa! Holy crap!
Can we maybe just get some free samples?
Well, sure, we got some
things I can give you.
This one's a little
white and pearlescent.
You like that? You
like that on your face?
- Yeah, I like that.
- It's sort of warm, isn't it?
Yeah, that's hot. I like
it on my fucking face.
Well, hey, if you guys want to sample
a lot of face creams, we can take you
to the back rooms to meet the manager.
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
[SINGING IN SPANISH]
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
♪
Pre-show battle here
with Butters Stotch
facing off against Scott Malkinson.
They're doing their best, but honestly,
it's all pretty cringe.
Everyone, of course, just
waiting for the main event
of Ike Broflovski versus Chase Chadwick,
and so far, Ike is a no-show,
proving he may have
just been aura farming
this entire time.
I I feel like I've
been a crappy brother.
Am I just a crappy brother?
No, dude, you're not a crappy brother.
I told Ike not to battle.
I didn't think the school
would react like this.
Well, we warned you, Kyle.
You got to go find your brother
and at least tell him to show up.
Oh, hey! Party in the shitter!
Hey, can I ask you guys something?
What's, uh
what's up with that Bebe chick?
- Ew! Dad!
- What?
I'm just asking what's up with her, gah!
Dad, your breath!
Have you been drinking?
Ugh! I had one shot of
Jager during Humanities!
Go away, Dad! Kyle's having
a crisis with his little brother.
Oh, you mean Ike?
Cartman took him to Sephora.
- He what?
- Yeah.
Craig told Bebe that Ike
went to Sephora with Cartman
and that it made Red
down-low kind of jelly.
- Oh, that's bad!
- Why's that bad?
Dude, we got to go! Come on!
[HORNS HONKING]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]
[CHUCKLING]
Here! This is it.
Well, come on. Let's
ask if anyone's seen him.
FARMER FRED: Don't do it!
Don't you see men can't go in there?
Time's got no meanin'.
Come on!
Ike? Cartman?
Ike?
- Ike?
- Ike?
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
Cartman?
Oh, my God.
♪
Oh, hey, Kyle. What's up?
What the hell is going on?
Sorry, Kyle.
I took your little brother to Sephora.
They kind of fucked up how he looks.
They, uh, took us to the back rooms
to give us samples.
I think maybe anti-aging
creams are bad for young people.
[BOOMING FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
- Uh-oh.
- Oh, no!
Here she comes, you guys.
When she comes, just tell
her you like it in the face.
- What?
- [ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
♪
[DISTORTED VOICE] Got some more samples!
You want that on your face?
[ALL SCREAMING]
Aargh! Aww!
Let's get the fuck out of here!
Untie me, Stan!
You like that on your face?
ALL: Run! Run!
- [ALL SCREAMING]
- Go, go, go!
Free sample
on your face!
[ALL SCREAMING]
[BOOMING FOOTSTEPS]
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
[SQUELCHING]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Come on!
[ALL GASPING]
- Oh.
- Oh! Oh, my God!
- [SIGHING]
- Oh, we did it.
Oh, thank God.
I am never going in that place again!
Grandpa!
Oh, Jesus, Polly!
You took forever!
Sorry, Grandpa. Oh, crap!
Can I just run in and
get one more thing?
All right, one more thing.
But make it quick.
Oh, no
I'm so cringe.
Ike?
Ike, it's gonna be OK.
Your face'll go back to normal.
It's just gonna take some time.
I'm sorry for not being there for you.
I get it now that you
have to aura battle,
or else you're gonna be cringe.
So let's go and face that kid,
and then whatever the other
kids want to say about you,
well, your big brother's
gonna have your back.
Anticipation in the air,
and a totally packed school hallway
as Ike Broflovski has finally shown up
for the aura battle
against Chase Chadwick.
People were starting to wonder.
Kyle, where has your brother been?
We were just, uh, making sure
he was prepared, Peter.
My little brother's been
working on a perfect rizz face.
And by showing up to this battle,
he has proved that he
is not just aura farming.
Definitely strong words.
Let's hope your brother can back 'em up.
[SINGING IN SPANISH]
I'm talkin' about in it!
♪
Clock it!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪
What you got? You've got nothin'!
'Cause everyone knows
I'm the hottest guy in our school!
RANDY: Yeah, I don't think so!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
If you're gonna mog-off with anyone,
it can be with me!
Who the hell is that?
God damn it.
I'm here to stand up for my friend Kyle!
And yes, I have had a few beers,
and I'm a little drunk.
Dad, get out of here!
Step away, kid!
You're totally cringe!
And your eyes are too far apart!
- SIUUUU!
- Oh, yeah?
Well, how about we just
handle this old-school?
- [BLOWS LANDING]
- Ow! Oh! Ah!
This is how Gen X handles shit,
you little fucking bitch!
Ah! Oh!
[SCREAMING]
Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Break it up.
Break it up!
Look at your fucking face now!
That's it!
You're goin' to the principal's office!
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought
this was South America!
Isn't this South America?
I'm sorry, I thought
this was South America!
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
♪
♪
[SINGING IN SPANISH]
♪
[THEME MUSIC]
I'm goin' down to South America ♪
Have myself a time ♪
Friendly faces everywhere ♪
Humble folks without temptation ♪
I'm goin' down to South America ♪
Leave my woes behind ♪
Ample parking day or night ♪
People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪
I'm headin' on up to South America ♪
See if I can't unwind ♪
[MUMBLING] ♪
So come on down to South America ♪
Meet some friends of mine ♪
[TWANGY MUSIC]
So I say to Wendy, I'm like,
what do you want for
your birthday, right?
And you know what she says?
She says she wants
anti-aging face cream.
What?
Why the hell does Wendy
want anti-aging face cream?
I mean, she's ten.
That's what I said.
It's crazy, bro.
All these girls at school
are trying to look younger.
They watch these
TikToks of skin products
and they have apps
that rate their faces.
Bro, thank God guys don't
have to deal with that stuff.
Kyle? Kyle!
Dude, you gotta come quick.
Your little brother's
getting mogged in the hallway.
He's getting what?
Some Chad called your
little brother cringe,
and now they're having an aura battle.
There's a what?
God damn it, Kyle, some kid
tried to mog your little brother,
but it turned into an aura
battle. You gotta do something!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SINGING IN SPANISH]
[KIDS SHOUTING]
♪
A hell of an aura battle
still going on here in South America.
Ike Broflovski and Noah
Bailey going toe to toe.
Noah is, of course, an impressive
8.9 on the looksmaxxing app,
and Ike comes into the battle
today at just under 9.5.
Noah Bailey aura farming
with his perfect hair.
Oh, and Ike Broflovski has
just taken off his shirt.
Ike's really handing it to him now.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's going on here?
[CROWD BOOING]
Ike, put your shirt back on.
That's it. The aura
battle has been called.
Ike Broflovski, the
winner of this match.
Thanks for watching the "South
America Glazing" livestream,
and be sure to check out
today's sponsor, Sephora.
We belong to something beautiful.
[UTENSILS CLATTERING]
Mom, Dad, I think you need
to talk to your son about aura farming.
Talk to him about what?
It's this thing at school.
Ike's doing aura battles,
so he's trying to maximize his looks.
See? Ike's rubbing ice on his face
to de-bloat it so his
cheekbones look sharper.
Stop playing with your drink, Ike.
He's gonna do another
aura battle tomorrow,
but he's mixing it with looksmaxxing,
and it's a bad combination.
I don't understand what
you're talking about.
Ike, are you obsessed
about how you look?
Your mom asked you a question, Ike.
He can't answer it 'cause he's mewing.
- He's what?
- He's mewing.
He's pushing his tongue up
against the roof of his mouth
because he thinks it will
strengthen his jawline.
Kyle, that doesn't make any sense.
I know it doesn't make any sense.
That's why you need to talk to your son!
He's too young to be
worried about his looks.
[HAMMER CLATTERING]
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
[PHONE BOOPS]
Hey, Stan, what are you doing?
Are you watching porn?
No. I'm doing a looksmaxxing app.
Oh, OK.
Is that porn?
No, it's this thing
kids at school are doing.
- It says I have bad skin.
- What?
It uses AI to rate
the symmetry of your facial features
and then shows you exercises you can do
and products you can
buy to improve your skin.
Do I have bad skin?
Stan, if you want to look good,
then you get out there
on a bicycle like me
and you put in the work.
And if you want better
skin, you just eat right, OK?
I think you should get off of that app.
Just watch some porn
or something, all right?
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
[PHONE BOOPS]
The hell?
What's up, guys? Peter
Mullen's here once again
with a South America
aura battle livestream.
We're bringing you all the coverage
on the epic showdown that
just happened this morning
with Ike Broflovski out-mogging
Noah Bailey four to one.
Ike, that was a hell of a showing.
Your cheekbones looked incredible.
Yeah, I felt really
good out there, Peter.
Noah has a pretty strong jawline,
but luckily for me, his eyebrows suck.
Ike, your aura really
seems to be peaking.
How do you do it?
A lot of face creams, Peter.
A lot of training.
Gotta be ready for whoever's next.
Well, actually, we do know who's next.
The SA aura battle
livestream can confirm
that Ike Broflovski
has just been challenged
to an aura battle
by fourth-grader Chase Chadwick.
What? Chase Chadwick?
Chase, of course, the only person
to ever get a perfect score on Chadmaxx.
Oh, shit!
The fight is scheduled
for recess tomorrow.
Catch it all on my livestream,
and remember there's some
things money can't buy.
For everything else, there's Mastercard.
Oh, shit!
CARTMAN: This is gonna
be a bloodbath, dude.
Chase Chadwick has a
perfectly symmetrical face.
Total hunter eyes.
He's the kid whose mom let him
get a nose job when he was four.
What are you gonna do, Kyle?
I'm not gonna do anything.
This is all stupid.
Stupid?
Have you seen Chase Chadwick's skin?
It's literally flawless.
Well, it's not like bad
skin really matters, right?
I'm not gonna let Ike aura battle.
Not let him aura battle? Kyle,
that'll make everyone think
that Ike has just been aura
farming this whole time.
Kids are gonna call your
little brother cringe.
Yep, they will.
Look, like it or not, Kyle,
coolness and looks really
matter at this school.
- Hey, Wendy.
- Oh, hey, Stan.
Um, you know that face
cream stuff you wanted?
I was thinking maybe
we can go get you some.
Really? You wanna take me?
Yeah, I thought we could
pick you up some stuff.
OK. Thanks!
This is so nice of you,
Stan. I really appreciate it.
Yeah, no problem. So where are we going?
Right here.
Holy shit.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
This is a hydrating cream
that'll help with your wrinkles.
What do you think? You
like that on your face?
Yeah? You like that on
your face, don't you?
This should help reduce
the bags under your eyes.
How does that feel?
Yeah? You like that?
You like that on your face?
Yeah, let's get some
more of that on your face.
Wendy?
I wouldn't go in there if I were you.
Something not right in there.
My granddaughter wanted
to go to Brandy Melville.
Then she asked if she could
just stop in the Sephora.
That was 6 1/2 years ago.
There's something in
there men can't understand.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Wendy?
Oh, hey, Stan. Right over here.
[POP MUSIC PLAYING]
Wendy?
Can't find much
comfort in this place ♪
[EERIE STING]
Wendy?
[POP MUSIC FADING]
[EERIE TONES]
I don't think I like it here.
Uh, Wendy, could we maybe go now?
[EERIE MUSIC]
[UNEASY WHISPERING]
[FLUORESCENT LIGHTS BUZZING]
[DISTANT DISTORTED VOICES]
Wendy, I think maybe that's
enough time at Sephora.
[SCREAMS]
God damn it, Kyle, pick up your phone.
It's important.
Dude, you need to talk to your friend.
Because Ike needs help with
his aura battle, that's why!
What do you mean, you don't care?
I mean, I don't care.
I just spent 17 hours at Sephora,
and when I came out, it
had only been 13 minutes.
What are you talking about?
I'm saying I'm done, dude.
My dad was right.
If you want to look good, you just
need exercise and a proper diet.
I'm going back to doing dude stuff.
[LINE BEEPS]
[VIDEO GAME LASERS FIRING]
Oh, hey, Stan.
How's it going, bud?
Dad?
Yeah?
What the hell wait.
Did you go to Sephora?
Did I did I what?
No, why do you think I went to Sephora?
- Because you look a lot younger.
- Oh, thanks.
I've just been, you know,
riding my bike a lot, eating right.
No, Dad, I think you went to Sephora.
Stan, your dinner's almost whoa!
Randy?
What the hell did you do?
He went to Sephora.
No, I did not go to Sephora.
I took Shelley to Sephora,
and I waited outside.
No, you got stuck in
the back rooms of Sephora
and now nothing makes any sense.
The only thing not making
sense is you guys, OK?
If you don't mind, I'm gonna
have some Cocoa Puffs and beer.
PETER: Good morning, South America.
The big day has arrived,
and Chase Chadwick is getting ready
for his aura battle with Ike Broflovski.
Chase, how do you feel
about your chances?
I'm the coolest,
best-looking guy in the school,
and it's time for people to stop glazing
Ike Broflovski.
Broflovski's totally cringe,
and I'm gonna prove it.
Should be an epic battle
coming up later today,
right after fifth period.
[SIGHING] God damn it.
I guess you're pretty scared, huh?
Yeah
pretty scared.
Well, look.
I know you probably wish
you had a big brother
that would help you
out right now, but
don't be mad at Kyle.
I'm sure that, deep down,
your brother wants to help, OK?
Maybe he just
he just doesn't know how.
And he's a Jew.
Yeah.
I mean if I had a little brother,
he'd be my special little
guy, but Kyle's just
he's got a lot on his plate, you know?
Matza balls, bagels, kosher latkes
lot on his plate.
Look, Ike, what I'm trying to say is,
I don't think, just because your brother
doesn't understand your generation,
that he doesn't love you.
I can't beat him, can I?
Chase Chadwick?
[SIGHS]
No, I don't think you can beat him.
But what matters is
that we have you looking
as good as possible when it happens.
Maybe
Maybe I can help you
prepare for the aura battle.
Really? You will?
There's nothing wrong with losing,
as long as you look good doing it.
Oh, thank you!
Thank you, big brother.
It's all right.
Let's just get you prepared.
[BELL RINGING]
OK, children, let's take our seats.
Uh, where is Eric Cartman?
Does anyone know where Eric Cartman is?
Yes, Bebe?
Um, who cares?
Oh, OK.
Uh, well, children, before
we get started today,
I want to address all the aura farming
that's been going on
here in South America.
Thank you! Finally!
You know, there's been a lot of talk
of who's cool and looks
good and who's faking it,
and I thought we could apply that
to our lesson on people in history.
Abraham Lincoln. What you think?
Did he have a good
aura, or was he cringe?
He did some good things,
but he was probably cringe.
What about Martin Luther
King? What do we think?
Maybe a little cringe at the end there?
Little cringe? Yes, Kyle?
I think we should stop
rating looks and coolness
so that companies stop preying
on people's insecurities.
What's up, dudes?
Oh, no. Dad, what the
hell are you doing?
They're saying, 'cause I'm
younger, now I got to go to school.
No, Dad, you are not going to my school.
That's what I said!
But fucking Mom is all like,
"You did this to yourself!
You wanted to look younger.
Now you can just go to school!"
Stan, what is going on?
God damn it. My dad
went to Sephora, all right?
[CLAPS] All right, children.
We can welcome the new kid later.
Let's get back to the lesson.
Amelia Earhart.
Pretty cringe. What do you think?
Yes, new kid.
Is there any way I could get a beer?
[HORN HONKS]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
OK, it's right in here somewhere.
I'm taking you to the place
where all the chicks go
to look their very best.
[GIGGLING]
Since it's a school day,
this place should be dead.
Ah, here it is.
Oh, my God!
[CLAPPING] Wow!
Sephora!
FARMER FRED: You don't
want to go in there.
Six years, I been waitin',
watchin', while that
Sephora gets bigger.
Used to be an Orange
Julius next to it
but the Sephora ate it.
Cool. Thank you.
This is de-aging cream.
It's really milky and pearlescent.
What do you think? You like that?
You like that on your face?
Yeah, you like that on
your face, don't you?
See how it's sort of thick and creamy?
Yeah, you like that? You
like that on your face?
You want some more of that on your face?
Yeah, you like that, don't you?
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
All right, we got to make this
quick and get back to school.
Can I help you guys find anything?
Yeah, my friend has an
aura battle this afternoon,
so he needs to look and
smell like a total Chad.
Oh, OK. Well, that's a good
face cream you've got there.
That'll open up your pores
and help you look a little younger.
What do you think? You like that?
- Yeah!
- Yeah?
You like that on your face? Great.
You like that on your face, don't you?
You want some more of that? It's $89.95.
Whoa! Holy crap!
Can we maybe just get some free samples?
Well, sure, we got some
things I can give you.
This one's a little
white and pearlescent.
You like that? You
like that on your face?
- Yeah, I like that.
- It's sort of warm, isn't it?
Yeah, that's hot. I like
it on my fucking face.
Well, hey, if you guys want to sample
a lot of face creams, we can take you
to the back rooms to meet the manager.
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
[SINGING IN SPANISH]
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
♪
Pre-show battle here
with Butters Stotch
facing off against Scott Malkinson.
They're doing their best, but honestly,
it's all pretty cringe.
Everyone, of course, just
waiting for the main event
of Ike Broflovski versus Chase Chadwick,
and so far, Ike is a no-show,
proving he may have
just been aura farming
this entire time.
I I feel like I've
been a crappy brother.
Am I just a crappy brother?
No, dude, you're not a crappy brother.
I told Ike not to battle.
I didn't think the school
would react like this.
Well, we warned you, Kyle.
You got to go find your brother
and at least tell him to show up.
Oh, hey! Party in the shitter!
Hey, can I ask you guys something?
What's, uh
what's up with that Bebe chick?
- Ew! Dad!
- What?
I'm just asking what's up with her, gah!
Dad, your breath!
Have you been drinking?
Ugh! I had one shot of
Jager during Humanities!
Go away, Dad! Kyle's having
a crisis with his little brother.
Oh, you mean Ike?
Cartman took him to Sephora.
- He what?
- Yeah.
Craig told Bebe that Ike
went to Sephora with Cartman
and that it made Red
down-low kind of jelly.
- Oh, that's bad!
- Why's that bad?
Dude, we got to go! Come on!
[HORNS HONKING]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]
[CHUCKLING]
Here! This is it.
Well, come on. Let's
ask if anyone's seen him.
FARMER FRED: Don't do it!
Don't you see men can't go in there?
Time's got no meanin'.
Come on!
Ike? Cartman?
Ike?
- Ike?
- Ike?
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
Cartman?
Oh, my God.
♪
Oh, hey, Kyle. What's up?
What the hell is going on?
Sorry, Kyle.
I took your little brother to Sephora.
They kind of fucked up how he looks.
They, uh, took us to the back rooms
to give us samples.
I think maybe anti-aging
creams are bad for young people.
[BOOMING FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
- Uh-oh.
- Oh, no!
Here she comes, you guys.
When she comes, just tell
her you like it in the face.
- What?
- [ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
♪
[DISTORTED VOICE] Got some more samples!
You want that on your face?
[ALL SCREAMING]
Aargh! Aww!
Let's get the fuck out of here!
Untie me, Stan!
You like that on your face?
ALL: Run! Run!
- [ALL SCREAMING]
- Go, go, go!
Free sample
on your face!
[ALL SCREAMING]
[BOOMING FOOTSTEPS]
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
[SQUELCHING]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Come on!
[ALL GASPING]
- Oh.
- Oh! Oh, my God!
- [SIGHING]
- Oh, we did it.
Oh, thank God.
I am never going in that place again!
Grandpa!
Oh, Jesus, Polly!
You took forever!
Sorry, Grandpa. Oh, crap!
Can I just run in and
get one more thing?
All right, one more thing.
But make it quick.
Oh, no
I'm so cringe.
Ike?
Ike, it's gonna be OK.
Your face'll go back to normal.
It's just gonna take some time.
I'm sorry for not being there for you.
I get it now that you
have to aura battle,
or else you're gonna be cringe.
So let's go and face that kid,
and then whatever the other
kids want to say about you,
well, your big brother's
gonna have your back.
Anticipation in the air,
and a totally packed school hallway
as Ike Broflovski has finally shown up
for the aura battle
against Chase Chadwick.
People were starting to wonder.
Kyle, where has your brother been?
We were just, uh, making sure
he was prepared, Peter.
My little brother's been
working on a perfect rizz face.
And by showing up to this battle,
he has proved that he
is not just aura farming.
Definitely strong words.
Let's hope your brother can back 'em up.
[SINGING IN SPANISH]
I'm talkin' about in it!
♪
Clock it!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪
What you got? You've got nothin'!
'Cause everyone knows
I'm the hottest guy in our school!
RANDY: Yeah, I don't think so!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
If you're gonna mog-off with anyone,
it can be with me!
Who the hell is that?
God damn it.
I'm here to stand up for my friend Kyle!
And yes, I have had a few beers,
and I'm a little drunk.
Dad, get out of here!
Step away, kid!
You're totally cringe!
And your eyes are too far apart!
- SIUUUU!
- Oh, yeah?
Well, how about we just
handle this old-school?
- [BLOWS LANDING]
- Ow! Oh! Ah!
This is how Gen X handles shit,
you little fucking bitch!
Ah! Oh!
[SCREAMING]
Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Break it up.
Break it up!
Look at your fucking face now!
That's it!
You're goin' to the principal's office!
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought
this was South America!
Isn't this South America?
I'm sorry, I thought
this was South America!
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
♪
♪
[SINGING IN SPANISH]
♪