1,000 Places To See Before You Die s01e04 Episode Script

1 You all might have top-class credentials from the Far East but you've been allowed into Australia to cook for Australians and that's a whole new kettle of fish.
So, for this Peking duck, off with the duck's head straight up and into the bin.
Aussies don't like to look their food in the eye.
Hey-yah, you can't waste that.
What about braised duck head, Mr King? Hmm? That's 'Chef' to you.
And no way, Jose.
Not in this country.
Mr Wu, I've run restaurants all over the world and if there's one thing I know, it's to give the locals what they want.
Forget the chilli and go easy on the garlic.
Nobody wants to be surrounded by a bunch of people whose breath smells like a Chinaman's armpit.
- (SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE) - Oi.
This is Australia, mate.
You want to work in a restaurant run by me, you speak English.
(SCOFFS) It might take you another lifetime, eh, Mr Chung Li? This way, ladies.
Come through.
- Hello, darling.
- Hello, dumpling.
Easy entertaining.
Lesson one is all about spending less time in the kitchen and having more fun away from it.
Tennis mornings, ikebana, lunch with your girlfriends, making yourself delectably desirable for hubby's arrival home.
(GIGGLES) Or anyone else you might be entertaining.
See? Isn't that pretty? Now, let's see how my cheese straws are going.
Oooh Ah.
Perfect.
I asked for six cabbages.
I've got three.
The other day, I asked for two boxes of potatoes.
I got one.
This keeps happening.
Lucy, love, I can't keep working like this.
Rita is always given enough money.
I don't know what's happening at that market.
I didn't come down last shower.
This place is losing money and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it.
Chefs, please clean up.
Let's go to lunch.
('60s POP PLAYS) He likes bread and butter He likes toast and jam That's what his baby feeds him He's her loving man Well, I like bread and butter I like toast and jam That's what my baby feeds me I'm her loving man He likes bread and butter He likes toast and jam That's what his baby feeds him He's her loving man Well, she don't cook mash potato She don't cook T-bone steaks She don't feed me peanut butter She knows that I can't take He likes bread and butter (RINGS DOORBELL) - (WOMAN LAUGHS NEARBY) - (LOW CONVERSATION) - Samuel.
- Lucy.
(KISS) I set us up on the terrace.
I'm so glad we honour my beautiful sister with this ritual, Samuel.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
(LAUGHS) She chose well when she chose you for a husband.
She was always so happy.
I was, uh I was just saying to my friend Violetta - You remember her? - Violetta.
Yes.
You met her at the, uh the Adventuresses' Club a couple of times No, I don't think so.
She's a remarkable woman.
Uh, actually, she and I Excuse me, Samuel.
I've left the rice wine in the cold store.
Oh.
Uh, of course.
Of course.
(LUCY SCREAMS) (LUCY SCREAMS) Lucy! What is it? (LUCY WAILS) Oh, god! (LUCY WAILS) (THEME MUSIC) Lucy made some terrible decisions after Daphne died and this was one of them.
- The cooking school? - Oh, not the cooking school exactly.
It was joining forces with Graham King and his wife Shirley.
They ran this dreadful restaurant in Hong Kong and when that went bust, they came back here claiming to know everything about Chinese cooking.
- But they don't? - No! Lucy does, of course.
And have you always kept in touch with her? Well, Samuel's her brother-in-law and I've always regarded her as family, so that's why we're here.
(SIREN WAILS) Lucy? - Lucy? - Thank you, Bruce.
Um, check on the students for me, please.
Certainly.
- Hello, Bruce.
- Miss Birnside.
Oh Oh, Lucy.
- Oh, are you alright? - (CRIES) Oh, god, this is awful! - Oh - I'm fine.
- Samuel's been my rock, as always.
- Oh, yes.
This is Peregrine Fisher.
She's Phryne's niece and our new private investigator.
Your aunt was such a dear friend of mine.
Well, then, she'd want me to solve this for you.
I better make it official No.
No, no, no.
No.
Lucy, we are not going to charge for this.
- I have to repay you somehow - No.
- No, no, no.
- How about cooking classes? No Oh, that's not a bad idea, because that would get you in here under the radar.
(HALF-LAUGHS) Do I really Do I really need to cook? - Did Aunt Phryne cook? - Oh, well Well, she was a gourmand, wasn't she, Lucy? She certainly knew everything about international cuisine.
Cooking's not really my thing.
Well, it'll do you good.
You can't survive on breakfast cereal forever.
And we do all levels, from bride-to-be beginners to masterclasses with expert chefs.
Maybe beginners, without the bride-to-be bit.
Mmm, I should say so.
Welcome to King's Academy of Fine Cuisine.
Samuel.
Oh, what an awful thing to have happened.
Well, it's it's Lucy that I'm worried about.
This academy is her whole life.
Have you got any idea who could be behind this? Only what I told Detective Steed.
Graham was an easy man to dislike - not that he deserved a meat cleaver.
- Rita.
- Samuel.
Um, just just leave that here, Chung Li.
Thanks.
Lucy just told me.
I can't believe what's happened here.
Yes.
It's horrible.
Just Just horrible.
I I haven't seen you in so long.
How How are you? For it to happen today of all days.
I woke up thinking about Daphne.
She wouldn't have wanted you to be sad.
I'm sorry I'm sorry, Samuel.
This is all too much.
(CRIES) Oh Rita is is Lucy's stepdaughter.
- Lucy raised her, so - Oh.
Daphne was like a big sister.
Losing her must've been horrible - for both of you.
Yes.
Rita's been through a lot.
Are you alright? Hmm? Oh, of course.
Yes, of course.
Well, now, uh, you're investigating, uh, I'll need to finish that new recording device for you.
This place is big and you can't be everywhere at once.
- Well No, I certainly can't.
- (LAUGHS) - Where's the kitchen? - It's just It's through there.
Well, I might take this.
Did Mr King have any personal or financial issues, outstanding debts or money owing, that sort of thing? I just manage the academy's accounts, Detective.
I I don't know anything about Mr King's personal or financial life.
Mmm.
And so, you said you'd been here at the cooking school all day? Well, I was in the office waiting for Rita Harrington.
But as usual, she was late.
Is she a student here? More like her stepmother's charity case.
I mean, she manages the odd job when she's not lying around the pool.
Why were you meeting with her? Well, to talk about all the things she gets wrong and, uh, the things, uh, she forgets, which normally ends up with her in tears and promising to do better.
There's another one.
New student.
Family friend along for a free ride.
(SIGHS) There goes my holiday to Rosebud, with all this fuss.
Never a dull moment around here.
Thank you, Mr Taylor, for your time.
- Oh, Peregrine! - Oh! Wait! Poor man.
What a horrible way to die.
And that meat cleaver wouldn't be hard to come by.
- So, probably not premeditated.
- (SIREN WAILS) - I agree.
- (SIGHS) But I did find this.
Some kind of baking mishap? I suppose this is a cooking school.
Except it was wrapped in that handkerchief inside of Graham King's pocket.
Well, I agree.
That could mean something.
There's a lot of agreeing going on here, PI Fisher.
Well, we've come a long way, Detective Steed.
Samuel, how's Lucy? Uh, still in shock, I think.
I just need to gather a few things to take back to the workshop.
You know, it's it's Daphne's birthday today, Violetta.
- Oh, I didn't realise.
- Mmm.
He told me he was having lunch with Lucy but I I didn't ask.
He didn't tell me why.
Oh, don't take it personally.
He hasn't done much talking about Daphne since the car accident.
Not even to me.
He told me he thinks that if he was there, maybe the accident wouldn't have happened.
Oh, god.
Oh Oh, well, who knows? Lucy's stepdaughter Rita, she was there but, um, she doesn't remember anything.
Daphne was thrown from the car and Rita, well, she got out just before the whole thing burst into flames.
Horrible.
I've never met Rita.
I've met Lucy but not Rita.
Yes, well, we haven't seen a lot of her since the accident.
Oh It was just all so terrible.
We were very close.
I've never even seen a photograph of Daphne.
I'd like to.
Please.
I know how much Samuel loved her.
Well, he made me put all the photos away.
But what's a photo for if not to remember? (SIGHS) Here we are.
Honeymoon in Rome.
Wedding day.
Aw.
Oh, and this one.
Yes.
That's Daphne, of course.
And that's Rita.
Happier times.
Apparently, Rita's father came from old money.
He and Lucy were a love match but then he died five years after they were married.
- That's tragic.
- Mmm.
Without a father around, I think Lucy tried to be everything to Rita.
Well, she doesn't seem the slightest bit concerned about the fact that her stepmother's business partner - has just been murdered.
- No.
Peregrine.
Detective.
Mrs King's arrived back.
She's in the kitchen now.
Not in good shape.
Thank you.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) (SNIFFS) My Graham was a king amongst men.
- My sympathies, Mrs King.
- (CRIES) I need to ask you a few questions.
(EXHALES) Jelly always reminds me of parties.
(CRIES) - Where were you at lunchtime? - I had an appointment.
Who was that with? Oh, for god's sake.
I'm not seriously a suspect.
I had a meeting with the lord mayor.
We discussed a charitable fundraiser.
Was there any reason why someone would want to harm your husband, perhaps going for you, or? Have you got a hanky, hon? (CRIES) (BLOWS NOSE) (CRIES) Oh, he'd often argue with his students.
Tony Wu's stubborn.
Just like Graham.
(EXHALES) They were both hot-heads when it came to food.
Tony Wu? There were others that got Graham's goat, though, like bloody what's-his-name - Chung Li.
Why did they clash? 'Cause Graham used to take the mickey out of him.
That's what we do here.
You know, Graham would joke about expelling Chung Li, told him he'd never understand Australian-Chinese cooking if he couldn't learn the lingo.
But Chung Li, no sense of humour.
And did that make Chung Li angry? Well, he never said anything but if looks could kill You are no chef.
That's him.
- Hello again.
- Oh, hello.
(HALF-LAUGHS) It's a terrible thing to have happened.
Yes.
Very sad.
Although I heard that maybe he wasn't very nice.
Excuse me, uh, Mr Chung Li.
Detective James Steed.
I need to ask you a few questions.
Yes, Detective, sir.
Uh, tell me, at lunchtime today, where were you? Me in park, eating.
With, um with 'pengyou'? With friends? No 'pengyou'.
Me only.
I not have 'pengyou'.
Not here.
No friends here.
Thank you, Mr Li.
We will need to talk again.
Thank you.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
(GIGGLES) 'Pengyou'? I didn't know you spoke Chinese.
No.
My neighbour did.
That's the only word that I remember.
That's a nice word to remember.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
My mistake.
Hello.
What the hell Fisher! Inspector Sparrow.
You better not be sticking your nose into this investigation.
Oh, no.
I'm just learning to cook.
(LAUGHS) Bulldust.
A crime's been committed.
A murder, actually.
And you're just arriving.
You watch yourself, little fish.
My aunt might not be around anymore but I am.
Don't you underestimate me.
And don't you dare threaten me or anyone else at the Adventuresses' Club.
- Or what? - Two words - Madam Lyon.
Shall I make it three? Brothel.
We've still got photographic evidence that could end your career.
You really want to play this game with me? Oh, I think I do.
Might get dangerous.
You've been warned.
LUCY: Ladies and gentlemen, although we wish to respect the memory of Chef King, I'm sure he would want you to continue your careers here in Australia, so I will be taking Mr King's classes.
What? You're gonna keep teaching? That's correct.
No.
No way.
The whole school should be shut down.
Where's the respect? The students have paid good money for our classes, Shirley.
It is the right thing to do.
Yes, for you, but not for me.
Put a sock in it, Mr Wu.
- That means shut up.
- No, I won't shut up.
I paid 100 pounds for this.
Now, I would like to finish so that I can work and make some money.
All of us do.
Shirley, we can't do anything more for Graham now.
You should go home and rest.
What are you doing with my pickled onions? Miss Fisher is a latecomer to your class.
I am helping her to catch up.
You? Teaching Easy Entertaining? That's a joke.
Takes you all day to cook fried rice.
Shirley, please! Everything OK in here, Mrs Harrington, Mrs King? No, it is not OK! My husband has been butchered! We'll sort it out.
Thank you, Detective.
Chef Wu, where is your cleaver? WU: My cleaver? What? - Sorry, what did you just say? - Uh, nothing.
I, um My cleaver is missing.
But I swear to you, I have no idea where it is.
Come with me, Mr Wu.
(SIGHS) I didn't kill Mr King.
I didn't like him but I wouldn't ruin my cleaver by sticking it in his back.
That is a very cold-blooded attitude, Mr Wu.
Well, these knives are special.
They belong to my father and his father before that.
They have my family inside them.
- Do you understand that? - I do.
Tell me, at lunchtime yesterday, where were you? Lunchtime I was shopping.
- Where? - At the market garden.
Buying my own vegetables with my own money because they never buy enough here.
Why don't they plant vegetables here, with all this land? They have all this grass which they water and then mow and then what do they do? Nothing.
They just sit and look at it.
Did you argue about the garden? Of course.
All the time.
Well, from what I've been told about Mr King, he didn't like to be told what to do.
- He liked to be the boss.
- (SCOFFS) Not a good boss.
- He treated most people badly.
- Was there anyone in particular? Mr Wu? Rita Harrington.
We all think she's amazing, but the way Graham treated her it wasn't right.
Graham King got along very well with me.
He liked me a lot.
I was told he was rough with you.
Who told you that? Well, if you could just answer the question, please.
Graham liked to get a bit too close at times.
Physically, you know.
- So, he harassed you? - Yes.
And when I tried to tell him I wasn't interested, he didn't like it.
He'd done it a couple of times before, but I couldn't tell Lucy.
- Why not? - Because she needed Graham.
Australians would never trust a Chinese woman on her own.
And now that Graham's dead, there's no point in making a fuss, is there? - So, just to be clear, Miss Harr - This is all so awful.
I'm feeling quite emotional.
Well, I'll leave you to your rest, then, Miss Harrington.
Thank you for your time.
(FOOD SIZZLES) Uh-oh, I want you so-o-o-o-o Uh-oh, you know I do-ooo-uh-ooo Hold me close (FOOD SIZZLES, LOW-LEVEL TALKING) - No, not again! Oh - Oh, burnt again? Oh! You are very good at finding ways to lag after class.
No, that was a genuine failure.
(EXHALES) No, no, wait, Chung Li.
Not like that.
Uh-oh, I love you - Chung Li.
Hello.
- Hello.
I didn't introduce myself properly yesterday.
- My name's Peregrine.
- Oh Your name? Peri Sorry, I can't say it.
Peregrine.
It's OK, my Chinese is terrible too.
(LAUGHS) Do you know, um, dictionary? Dictionary.
Yes, but I have none.
Well, I do.
My aunty does.
She has a Chinese-English dictionary.
Apparently, she had a Chinese admirer.
She has lots of Chinese books as well.
I miss my books at home in China.
Well, you must come to my house.
You can pick up the dictionary and, um, take as many books as you like.
- Yes.
- (LAUGHS) Yes.
Good.
Here's my address.
What about 6:00 tonight? Thank you.
I'll see you later.
Yes.
(SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE) - Hello.
- Good afternoon.
- Do you want vegetables? - Um, no.
Not today.
Ah.
Here for some special tea? - Ah.
Police.
- Yes.
Yes.
Uh, we're not here to shop.
We want to ask you some questions about Tony Wu.
Tony Wu? Yes.
Yes.
He want the best.
Uh, was he here at lunchtime yesterday? Uh, buy for his lunch.
Yes.
Yes.
No, not for his lunch, but was he here at lunchtime? - Yes.
Yes.
Maybe.
- Do you mean yes or maybe? Mm-hm Uh Customer.
Um, sorry.
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
(SIGHS) Well, that was clear as mud.
Yeah.
(DOOR CLOSES) Mmm.
Lucy! Hello! Rita! Oh, my goodness! Oh Thank you.
Our celebration for Daphne yesterday was interrupted, so I made a banquet for us all to celebrate.
Lucy, you didn't tell me You said we were just dropping this stuff off.
Uh Rita, you haven't seen Samuel in ages.
No, no, no I can't I can't.
I don't feel well.
I I'm gonna go wait in the car.
Take your time.
(DOOR CLOSES) Rita's been on medication for her headaches since the accident.
For two years? I miss Daphne so much.
- Oh, Lucy.
Oh, we're here for you.
- (KISSES) But I'm so thankful that she and Samuel brought us together.
- You two, you were such lovebirds.
- Yes.
Uh, Lucy, um, you remember I was telling you Uh, this is my friend, Violetta.
Good to see you again, Lucy.
And you.
Rita's in the car.
I need to go.
Please, enjoy the food.
It's alright, Samuel.
I can let myself out.
Well, can't let this go to waste.
Yes, well, actually, I, um I promised Peregrine that I would, uh, be at my workshop at her place, so, uh Yes.
- Violetta.
- Oh, sorry, Birdie.
I'm really not hungry.
('60s CHINESE-LANGUAGE POP PLAYS) Happy birthday, darling Daphne.
What the blazes are you two doing? Sir, we we found this in Graham King's pocket.
Now, I believe it to be some sort of It's a fortune cookie, you git.
They give them to you in Chinese restaurants.
The missus gets one with her takeaway sweet-and-sour pork.
You got a message in it.
Oooh! - Ah.
- What does it say? Mmm It's all Greek to me.
(LAUGHS) Here.
Have one of these.
(HALF-LAUGHS) - You read books? - Yes.
Well (LAUGHS) Not Chinese books, but the others, yes.
- You are smart.
- Oh, I don't know about that.
Smart from books maybe, not smart from school.
I left school as soon as I could.
But you have books to learn? My father write books.
He say they make him free.
Free from what? No matter.
He has passed now.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- And now I must finish my chef study.
- Do you like it? - Oh, chef school here very expensive.
Yes.
In China, my university cost nothing.
- Hmm.
- (DOORBELL RINGS) Oh, um (HALF-LAUGHS) Keep looking.
Take as many as you like.
(HALF-LAUGHS) Hello, Mr Li.
- I go now.
- Oh No, please stay.
I just have some quick questions for Miss Fisher.
No I must go.
I will miss my train.
(EXHALES) Goodbye! Was that suspicious or was that suspicious? He panicked as soon as he saw a policeman? Mmm.
Or that he went to university in China.
- Did he? - Well, that's what he said.
Some of the best chefs in the world come from China.
Maybe they need to go to university.
But he doesn't seem that well-trained.
Anyway, I'm not actually here to see you.
- Oh.
- Yes.
- Samuel said he spoke Chinese.
- Mandarin.
- So I just wondered if he read it.
- Well, probably.
Where did you find this? That was inside the thing we found in Graham King's pocket.
- It was a Chinese fortune cookie.
- Oh.
I could've had one of the students at the academy read it but I'd rather not have a potential suspect do that.
Good idea.
Oh, would you like to try a cheese straw? - You baked them? - Mmm.
(LAUGHS) SAMUEL: Let me see.
Um, "Fleeting love is the most precious.
" That sounds romantic.
If all you're after was something that's short and sweet.
That can be nice too, Detective Steed.
Samuel, what's wrong? Um, these Chinese characters - it's it's Lucy's handwriting.
Lucy? Just through that doorway, Mrs Harrington.
Yes.
I wrote it.
And I made the fortune cookie.
They're not as easy as they look, you know.
So, Mr King understood the language? A little, from when he lived in Hong Kong.
Why did you make him that, Mrs Harrington? Graham and I had a brief flirtation.
It was one night after a wonderful restaurant opening.
I'd had far too much champagne and I was feeling a little lonely.
Was it an ongoing relationship? No, of course not.
He was a married man.
So, why were you still sending him love letters? That's not what this is.
I wanted him to know that it was over.
Graham refused to believe that I didn't love him.
He thought that it was more than a fling.
And he was threatening to leave Shirley.
I would hate to do that to another woman.
And to be honest, living with Graham would be my worst nightmare.
I needed Graham for my cooking school, not for myself.
He was a big personality.
Popular.
But a big personality who wouldn't take no for an answer? That must've become difficult to work with.
So, did you ever consider ending the business relationship because of the romantic complications? I didn't kill Graham because he was being a pest, if that's what you're thinking.
Just through there, Mrs King.
- Please take a seat.
- I think I might stand, Detective.
I don't want to talk to you across a desk.
It makes me feel like a criminal.
Whatever makes you comfortable.
Uh, a cigarette, then.
Tell me, Mrs King, did you have a happy marriage? Excuse me? Did your husband have any other involvements that I may need to know about? (EXHALES) If you're talking about Lucy Harrington, I knew all about that.
She'd been making eyes at Graham for years.
A man doesn't need that much persuading.
Were you angry about his infidelity? No.
I knew it meant nothing.
There were others that came and went and in the end I felt almost sorry for Lucy.
Why was that? It was a classic flash in the pan, one night of sex, and Lucy just took it all too seriously.
Graham tried to let her down gently but she just wouldn't take no for an answer.
She pursued him every chance she could.
But you were happy to continue working with Mrs Harrington? Well, you saw how Lucy and I get on.
But I did my best, for the sake of the business.
And I'll continue to.
Blowed if I'm gonna let all our hard work go to the grave with Graham.
That business is half mine now.
Well, Mrs King, the day of the murder, you said you had an appointment with the lord mayor.
Now, his secretary said that he was playing golf.
Of course she did, darling.
We were at the golf course, in the back seat of the mayor's Jaguar.
It was a casual arrangement.
Well, I'll have to, um, check that.
I'll have the mayor call you direct.
Oh.
Is there anything else you'd like to know? No (CLEARS THROAT) Thank you.
That's quite enough for now.
- Thank you, Mrs King.
- Mmm.
Shirley genuinely believes that I've been chasing after her husband all this time.
Graham's the one who wouldn't keep his hands off me.
I don't think she needs to know that right now.
Look, Graham was obviously telling Shirley one thing and you something else.
I want her out of the academy.
Graham was the one that I needed, not Shirley.
Lucy, don't you think she's suffered enough? Why don't you just say sorry, beg forgiveness? I didn't do anything.
You did.
Once.
If you are going to run this business together, then you need to just bury your differences and just get on with it.
Or we could just leave all this mess behind and go somewhere else, Lucy.
Where would we go? Somewhere no-one knows us.
Somewhere no-one gets killed.
Oh, Rita.
I couldn't ever sell your father's house.
I have to get off to class.
- Are you alright to see yourself out? - Oh, yes, of course.
You seem a bit jumpy, Rita.
Oh I'm just worried about Lucy, that's all.
(MOUTHS WORD) Dammit.
Uh, I I forgot something on that order again.
Um, can you tell Lucy I've gone back to the market garden? Yes.
Yes.
VIOLETTA: I just wanted to see that you were OK not burying yourself in your work.
No.
I've just been thinking.
Maybe a little too much.
I'm sorry.
I, uh, never really talked to you about Daphne's accident.
Well, that's up to you.
But you know you can tell me anything.
Birdie kept trying to throw it out.
I don't know how she thought it would change things.
I know so little about the accident.
Rita suffered a head trauma and she can't remember anything after she got in the car.
I know it sounds macabre but I just I kept reading this article over and over again, trying to fathom what happened.
No, I understand.
You want to know.
No other car was involved.
The coroner could find no contributing health factors in the driver of the vehicle, Daphne Birnside.
So perhaps an error in judgement.
Yes, but you see, I, uh I bought Daphne the car.
And I taught her how to drive.
And I thought that she would be safe.
(INHALES) (SIGHS) Hey.
Guilt doesn't change anything.
(KISSES) BIRDIE: I'm just a bit worried that Samuel didn't come home last night, so I might just, um I might just pop down and say hello.
- He's with Violetta.
- Oh, maybe I won't.
Have a cheese straw.
Well, ha! Well, I I can't believe that you made these.
- Oh.
- (LAUGHS) Mmm.
Oh, I can now.
Oh, bloody hell.
What did you put in these? What's wrong with them? Oh Oh (SPITS) Oh, it's disgusting.
I must've used bicarb instead of salt.
- Oh, valiant little things.
- Oh - They tried to rise.
- I'm so sorry.
Birdie, what are you doing here? Well, I didn't come for the food.
(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS MIRTHLESSLY) What's that? - Is that my new recording device? - Oh, yes, yes.
And it catches by suction.
Simply wet it and using a modicum of force apply to any flat surface, creating a vacuum, thus holding it in place.
So, lick and stick, hmm? - And it's voice-activated - Oh from 20 decibels.
- Which is? - A whisper.
- Oh.
- (WHISPERS) Can you hear me? Oh, cheese straw.
- No, no, no.
- No.
Yes, we have no bananas We have no bananas today We have broad beans like bunions We got cabbages and onions And all kinds of fruit And say We have an old-fashioned tomato But yes, we have no bananas We have no bananas today.
Stiff peaks, ladies.
Damn those egg whites.
Only in the West is cooking done by schoolgirls and housewives who think they can cook after spending a few weeks laughing in the kitchen.
You are not a member of this class, Mr Wu, so please keep your comments to yourself.
Keep whipping, ladies.
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) (SPEAKS INAUDIBLY) That's it.
Keep whipping.
Bruce, these eggs are stale.
What are you talking about? You bought old eggs again.
The whites aren't whipping.
Well, don't blame me.
I don't do the buying here.
You're the one who should be responsible.
Well, Graham always seemed to manage with the same eggs.
Perhaps you're not using the right technique.
I am the one with the proper home economics qualifications, not Graham.
All he did was buy restaurants and order around a whole lot of people.
Well, at least he was a professional.
- How dare you! - (HALF-LAUGHS) LUCY: Watch out! (SMASH!) That's for making fun of me in front of my class! She tried to kill me! The woman's a lunatic! Bruce was being provocative.
Well, it's lucky for you, then, he doesn't want to press charges.
He knows what side his bread's buttered on.
What, you'd sack him? Of course I would.
Things get thrown in the kitchen all the time.
Suddenly it's a crime because I'm a woman.
Never happened to Graham.
Now, if we're finished here, I'd like to go.
Yes.
We're done for now.
But I'll be speaking to you again if Bruce Taylor decides to pursue this.
No lectures, for god's sake, Lucy.
Shirley, I understand your frustrations.
Even I don't understand my frustrations sometimes.
But I'm sick of being overlooked because I'm a woman.
Try being Chinese as well.
Shirley, I'm sorry about what happened with Graham.
Well He was pretty irresistible when he turned on the charm.
Now that he's gone, I think we need to find a way of getting along.
Really, we have no choice, do we? Legally, I inherit Graham's half of the business.
We're partners whether we like it or not.
Peregrine.
Now might be a good time to tell you, Peregrine is investigating Graham's murder for the academy.
She's a private investigator.
So, if there's anything you'd like to share about your husband, Mrs King (EXHALES) Graham didn't think I knew about the special spot for his girlie magazines, but Oh Do you think he was embezzling? Embezzling? We need to tell the police about this.
So it really looks like Graham was mixed up in something illicit.
But if Graham was murdered for the money, then why was it still there? Well, maybe the murderer's still looking for it.
Sorry to interrupt, but I think this is the section that you might need to listen to.
- (ON TAPE) Stop insulting me - That's Shirley.
(ON TAPE) You're insulting me by letting me down.
That's Tony Wu.
This is not how it's supposed to be.
Things didn't go as planned.
You still owe me a lot.
And that's all we've got.
Well, they're definitely up to something.
Co-conspirators that have fallen out.
- Come on.
- Thanks, Samuel.
Hmm.
I got some troubles but they won't last I'm gonna lay right down here in the grass You track down Tony Wu and I'll talk to Shirley.
All my troubles will pass 'Cause I'm in shh-shh-shh Shh-shh-shh Shh-shh-shh-shh-shh-shh Sugartown I never had a dog that liked me some (DRAMATIC MUSIC) (BOOM!) Peregrine! Peregrine Peregrine Oh, god.
Peregrine (GASPS) Oh Oh - Just relax.
- What happened? There was an explosion.
You're OK.
(SIREN WAILS) No.
No, Peregrine.
Sit down.
Come on.
Keep still.
You could have concussion.
Take it easy.
I telephoned Birdie and let her know what happened.
I'm fine - unlike Shirley.
Oh, how horrible.
It looks like someone planted an explosive in I don't know, whatever kind of dish is now all over Mrs King's office.
I know what it is.
It's bombe Alaska.
- My bombe Alaska.
- What? What are you talking about? The police need to see you in your office, Mrs Harrington.
(GASPS) Shirley irritated Lucy, but not that much.
- Where's Tony Wu? - We've got him.
Come on.
Don't worry.
This must have something to do with the money.
(SIGHS) After Graham, I didn't think things could get any worse.
Poor Shirley.
You run an interesting cooking school, Mrs Harrington.
This is the money Miss Fisher reported to you.
Rightio.
We have no idea what Graham was doing with it.
No-one, uh, keeps this kind of cash under the mattress, so to speak, unless it's acquired by dubious means, so we'll need to hold onto this until we finalise the investigations.
What if it turns out to be money belonging to the academy? Where else would Graham have got it from? Well, let's hope we find an answer to that question, Mrs Harrington.
In the meantime, this is police evidence.
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) (LOW-LEVEL CONVERSATION) Why do you want to talk to me? I wouldn't cook anything as disgusting as bombe Alaska, even to kill someone.
I'm sorry.
We need to ask you a few more questions.
Oh (CAR DOOR CLOSES) "This is not how it was supposed to be.
" "Things didn't go as planned.
" "But you still owe me - a lot.
" Does that sound familiar? Who told you that? A very reliable witness, Mr Wu.
A fellow cooking student.
Ah.
Chung Li.
What did Shirley King promise you to murder her husband, Mr Wu? Nothing.
I didn't murder anyone.
I was angry with her, yes.
And Graham too.
I left a top-class establishment because they promised that I would run my own restaurant in Australia.
- When was that? - When I met them in Hong Kong.
They helped me facilitate my Australian visa and they promised me a job.
I paid 100 pounds to do training here but they duped me, said that their restaurants were in trouble.
There was no job for me.
And then what happened to Graham and now Shirley Yes, pretty inconvenient having both your potential bosses murdered, isn't it, Mr Wu? So why would I be the one to kill them? Revenge.
You were in the building when Mrs King was killed, weren't you? But I was nowhere near the academy when Graham King was murdered.
- I I told you.
- We're continuing to look into that.
You can enjoy our hospitality here tonight, Mr Wu.
Please think about it, Lucy.
Come and stay with Birdie and I for a few days.
Thank you for your concern, Samuel, but I am not going anywhere.
Lucy, I think we need to close up shop.
What? Well, it's hard enough to convince those housewives to ignore one murder.
After the explosion, they're refusing to come near the place.
We still have our Chinese chefs, Bruce.
Mr Taylor may have a point, Lucy.
It's getting dangerous.
These chefs have come a long way, some of them a very long way, for a new life.
Where will we put them after Graham's restaurants all shut down? I will buy both of Graham's awful restaurants if I need to.
I will not close the school.
SPARROW: Tony Wu's alibi is from someone called Mrs Zhang.
What's the point of the White Australia Policy? There's immigrants everywhere.
Mrs Zhang.
She runs a market garden.
That's where Tony Wu said he was shopping at the time of the first murder.
Yeah, but this says 'limited understanding'.
I mean, if she can't even speak Australian, how can she provide an alibi? We did our best.
But we may need an interpreter.
There's no point.
They all cover for each other.
No, Tony Wu had the motives, the murder weapon and an alibi not worth the paper it's written on.
I want him charged.
(SIGHS) (WOMEN SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE) She's certain Tony wasn't here the day of Graham's murder.
I just need to have a word with her about our order.
PEREGRINE: Sure.
Do you think that Sparrow's right about Tony? No, Tony's lying to us for some reason.
Why? WOMAN: Rita (SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE) - That doesn't sound very friendly.
- Mmm.
Rita They both said Rita.
- Is everything alright? - Yes.
Can we go? I need to get back.
Of course.
This is serious, Mr Wu.
Mr Zhang denies you were at her store that day.
I've been ordered to charge you with two counts of murder.
Understand? Yes.
Yes.
I'm not stupid.
OK.
Well, I believe that you left the academy.
But I need to know where you went.
- Or do you want to go to prison? - No, I I don't want to go to prison.
(SIGHS) Alright.
It, uh It was an interview.
- It was about a cooking job.
- Thank you.
Which restaurant? It wasn't a restaurant.
(SIGHS) And what time was his interview with you at the Wang Zho Dim Sim factory? Yes.
Thanks.
(HANGS UP) - He was there all lunchtime.
- Hmm.
Next suspect.
(GASPS) - Rita.
- I think I'm gonna be sick.
Mmm (VOMITS) (COUGHS, CLEARS THROAT) - (COUGHS) - Rita, are you alright? I'm fine.
I'm fine.
It's just It's the stress of everything that's going on.
Sit down.
I think you dropped this.
It's beautiful.
Are they daphne flowers? Yes.
It was hers.
It was Daphne's.
Samuel gave it to me after he died.
It's It's very special to me.
- If anything's worrying you - I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Oh, just please don't tell Lucy about this, OK? She's got enough on her plate.
(CRIES) I won't, I promise.
I'm sorry.
(SNIFFS) A factory job? Yeah, not the kind of work that Mr Wu would've been hoping for, I'm sure.
- So he's off the hook? - Yes.
But without a job.
Here, sit down.
Oh Oh, you didn't want me to whip something up? No.
No, don't be silly.
It's my shout.
(LAUGHS) Mmm.
I need to show you something.
This is Lucy's contract with the Kings.
Have a look at this clause just here.
"And whichever party dissolves the partnership "before the end of the 20-year term "will pay as compensation the sum of 100,000 pounds.
" Wow.
According to Birdie, Lucy has money but not that kind of money and it's all tied up in bricks and mortar anyway.
So, legally, she was stuck with Graham and Shirley.
But you said that she had made her peace with Shirley.
Yes, but she also made the bombe Alaska that blew her up.
So maybe Lucy was pretending to accept Lucy into the business to cover her tracks.
Oh, god, I hope not.
She's so nice.
And she's Birdie and Samuel's family.
Samuel? Sorry.
I'm sorry I missed dinner.
Yes, just, um, seeing Rita has has brought it all back.
It's awful, Violetta.
She can't bear to be in the same room as me.
Clearly, she blames me for the accident too.
I know you feel guilty about buying Daphne the car, Samuel but I've been over and over this too and I I think you're right.
Something doesn't quite add up.
Maybe Rita wasn't telling the whole truth about what happened that day.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC) Goodnight, sir.
Goodnight.
WOMAN: Night, sir.
(HUMS) (UNLOCKS DOOR) (CLOSES DOOR) (HUMS) (THWACK!) (GROANS) Oh! Oh! Peregrine, Sparrow was attacked last night.
The bag of money was stolen.
Uh, just give me a sec.
It's Chief Inspector Sparrow for the hundredth time.
- Have you got an update? - No.
When I get news, I'll ring him in hospital.
Sir, nothing yet.
SPARROW: You lot wouldn't be able to find a criminal if he came up and smacked you on the nose! It's probably best not to upset yourself.
- Look, Peregrine, I have to go.
- Sir? Detective, I found this outside.
Thank you, Constable.
(HALF-LAUGHS) Look at that.
It's from King's Academy.
Is that blood? Answer the question, Mrs Harrington.
Do you know where Rita is? She's an hour late picking up the vegies.
Not now, Bruce.
Forget it.
I'll send Chung Li.
- So? - Yes.
It's my mallet.
It was a gift from one of my Chinese students.
You knew that Chief Inspector Sparrow had the misappropriated cash.
We don't know where the money came from.
It could've been Graham's.
There were a dozen other people who saw Inspector Sparrow leave with that bag.
Including your stepdaughter Rita.
You can't be serious! Yes.
Yes, that's very helpful.
Thank you, Coroner.
Goodbye.
Um, sorry for listening.
Um, the coroner? It's all supposition at the moment.
The coroner mentioned in the article, Godfrey Joske, I knew him at university.
He lectured in science and the law.
The head injuries Rita said she had that causes her memory loss and her headaches, he checked his report for me.
And? There is nothing like that mentioned.
In fact, at the time, he noted how lucky she was to walk away unscathed, apart from bruising to her sternum.
(SIGHS) Why would she lie about hitting her head? I don't know, Samuel.
My life is all mixed up God bless the child can't earn a penny for his own cup (GASPS) PEREGRINE: Rita? Rita? (GASPS) (COUGHS) - What's happened? - Please, help me! Someone's just tried to drown me! (CRIES, COUGHS) Did you see who it was? No, I don't know.
I don't know who it was.
(PANTS) RITA: I've already told you, I didn't see who it was.
Thanks for this, Birdie.
She didn't want to stay there.
And Lucy knows nothing about this? Rita didn't want me to say anything to her.
Oh, well, she'll be worried.
And if someone's there trying to hurt Rita, well, then Lucy should be warned.
I already have a couple of officers searching the grounds.
Lucy was arguing about Rita at the market garden yesterday.
Maybe Mrs Zhang has something to do with this.
Let's go.
Now, there's a little whisky in this, so hang on to your hair ties.
(LAUGHS) (SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE) Is that Chung Li? What on earth's going on? (CHUNG LI AND MRS ZHANG ARGUE) (BOTH ARGUE IN OWN LANGUAGE) - Mrs Zhang.
- Are you alright? (SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE) What were you and Chung Li arguing about? Hey, it's private! - James - It's private! This is Rita's.
That better not be what I think it is.
What the hell are Rita and Chung Li mixed up in? We should get this tested immediately.
(DOOR OPENS) (DOOR CLOSES) Rita? You've, um, got a visitor.
Chung Li.
What are you doing here? I was at the market garden.
OK.
Mrs Zhang tried to give me something special.
For you.
What? She always gives me something extra.
Don't lie.
I cannot go back to China.
What's going on here? What's Rita lying about? I think you need to leave.
No.
You are trouble.
You stop.
I don't know what he's talking about.
- No! You know! - No, no, that's enough You need to stop! - What is going on here? - She is a liar! You need to stop! PEREGRINE: Ching Li, it's alright.
Samuel, could you take Rita to the sitting room, please? It's alright.
We think we know what's upsetting you.
Whatever your involvement, Mr Li, things would be much better for you if you cooperate.
Take a seat.
We need to speak with Violetta.
Make sure that he doesn't leave.
James.
You were right.
It's what you suspected.
It's opium.
(SIGHS) So, Mrs Zhang must be supplying it.
Well, thank you, Violetta.
I'm heading back there.
We need to tell Lucy.
(TRAM BELL DINGS) - What is it? Is Rita alright? - Yes.
Yes, she's fine.
Um, look, we need to have a little talk.
Lucy? Lucy, I'm so sorry.
I tried to stop.
I tried so hard.
Oh I know.
I know.
I suspected Rita had fallen back into using opium again.
But I've been too distracted with everything else.
I don't know why all these terrible things are happening.
And I've been worried the police will find out what I've been doing.
- Lucy - It's alright, Chung Li.
We can trust these people.
Tell them your story.
In China, I was always outspoken.
I was a journalist.
I wrote articles against the revolution and that made me someone dangerous.
They wanted me to fall in line, follow the leader.
And I refused.
So you had to flee? My pride cost my father his life.
I was a danger to the rest of my family.
I couldn't stay.
I didn't realise.
And Lucy helped you? Lucy is a saint.
She helps people get out of China with her cooking school.
She helps me to try to cook.
Because you're definitely not a chef.
A chef would never have eaten my disgusting cheese straws.
So, you vouch for him as a master chef and then you use your cooking school as the cover? It's the only way around the White Australia Policy.
Brilliant.
Chung Li is not the first, and if I can keep the cooking school open, he won't be the last.
I need to get back.
Rita, I'm curious - where did you get the money from to buy the drugs? From From the money I got for the groceries.
I took a bit here and there.
I'm so sorry about your family, Chung Li.
You've paid a great price in coming to Australia.
I miss my mother and sister.
I would pay so much more than 500 pounds if I could see them again.
Wait 500 pounds? For the the cooking school? Tony Wu said that he only paid 100 pounds.
Yes.
100 when I enrolled.
Then, after I arrived, I received a letter asking me to pay 400 more in cash or everyone would find out that I was not a real chef.
Well, that sounds like extortion to me.
- Who was the letter from? - From the academy.
It wasn't signed.
I was told to place the payment in an envelope in the meter box.
Rita's been getting the money for her opium habit somewhere.
But surely it can't be that much.
I need to talk to James and Mrs Zhang and I think I'm gonna need your help.
What if your friend arrests me for lying about being a chef? Detective Steed is far more concerned with solving a double murder than disproving your culinary skills.
Trust me.
(SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE) She says she just delivers what people ask.
She doesn't look.
Tell her I want to know who is doing the importing.
I don't care about her.
- Don't you? - (TRANSLATES INTO OWN LANGUAGE) (SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE) At first it was a little, just for the girl.
(SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE) What did she say? Mrs Zhang has been supplying the girl with special tea every day.
She says she must have a big boss with deep pockets.
So, Rita's part of a drug ring? We spoke to Mrs Zhang.
We know that you were collecting large amounts of opium from her market.
It couldn't have just been for you.
- I'm sorry.
I - Rita.
I want to tell you the truth but I'm just so afraid! - It's OK.
- They've already tried to kill me! They said they'd hurt Lucy if I told anyone! They know all about what she's doing with the Chinese students.
Rita, we can do a lot to protect you.
I can't! Why don't you just tell me what the arrangement was? (SIGHS) There was a drop-off point at the school - it's where I collected the money.
- The meter box? - It was always locked.
I was told to put the opium in there.
Birdie, could you call Steed and ask him to meet me there? It's over there.
Oh! You didn't need my bobby pin, did you? There's more money here.
What's that? (DRAMATIC MUSIC) You gave Rita that money.
You bastard! Rita was off the opium! She was recovering! You've dragged her back down again! You liar! You put all our people in danger! That's enough, you stupid bitch! Lucy! You let go of her! Calm down, Mr Taylor.
This won't help anything.
- James - Get back! Or you'll all go up.
It was you.
You killed them.
Bruce, you don't need to do this.
Get back around there! Oh! (CLANG!) Oh Well, I guess I do know my way around the kitchen.
(PANTS) This is police brutality.
I was just trying to scare her! You've had a head injury, Mr Taylor.
You need to take it easy.
And we need to have a little chat.
You're an opportunist, aren't you, Bruce? When you realised what Lucy was doing, you charged her Chinese refugees extra to keep their secret.
They were trying to sneak into this country.
They deserved to pay the price.
Well, that extra money wasn't quite enough for you, was it? When you found out about Rita's opium habit, you blackmailed her into collecting your dirty money and then using it to buy more opium.
You had a nice little trade going on, until Graham suspected that Rita was using drugs.
Are you still on drugs? Are you? - Get off of me! - Don't do this to Lucy.
If you're so worried about Lucy, go and talk to Bruce! Rita went to Graham.
She told Graham you were blackmailing her.
And then he found out where you were hiding all the cash.
Last thing he did was confront you.
GRAHAM: It stops now, Bruce.
That money's going to the police.
(GROANS) That was my money.
Mine.
It's blood money.
What were you gonna do with it, Bruce? Put it in an off-shore account? Finally take that holiday that you so desperately wanted? Not to Rosebud.
But maybe to Hawaii.
It's not a crime to go on a bloody holiday.
It's a one-way ticket, Bruce.
But you needed your retirement fund.
Hmm? And when Shirley found out where Graham had hidden the money, you must've been terrified she was gonna work everything out.
So you made sure she wasn't talking to anybody.
Then Chief Inspector Sparrow was your next target.
- (THWACK!) - Oooh You couldn't just walk away from all that hard-earned cash.
Then, when Rita started to panic, you thought she might expose your extortion and you tried to finish her off as well.
(GASPS) BIRDIE: Rita! Rita was too terrified to point the finger at you.
How could you, Bruce? And for what? Just money? Shut up, Lucy.
I made a little bit of pocket money out of your Chinaman trade.
But you're the real criminal here, not me.
Oh You murdered two people.
You can't prove that.
I think we can, Mr Taylor.
Well, before you do, you need to know I didn't come up with this little scheme.
And I wasn't the only one to profit from it.
I had the help of the constabulary.
Take me down, they come down too.
So, they've arrested Bruce Taylor.
(SIGHS) - Lucy's fine.
- Thank god.
I should've been brave enough to tell the truth about him earlier.
(SIGHS) I should've been brave enough to tell the truth about a lot of things.
Like the accident.
What do you remember? Everything! I didn't hurt my head.
And I didn't need opium to help with my pain.
I just wanted to forget.
(CRIES) Daphne wasn't driving the car.
It was me.
I begged her to let me.
I said it would be fun.
She trusted me! (CRIES) I lost control.
It just kept going.
I killed her, Samuel! I killed Daphne! I couldn't tell you or Lucy and I knew you'd never forgive me.
(CRIES) And I wish it was me who died! I wish it was me! Stop it.
Stop it.
That's enough, Rita.
Daphne would never have wanted this.
Blaming yourself won't bring her back.
Guilt never changes anything.
It was an accident.
It was a horrible accident.
So you will need to forgive yourself.
(CRIES) I'm so sorry.
(SNIFFS) (DOOR CLOSES) Sit down.
(EXHALES) Bruce Taylor said that a cop called him, said that, uh, Immigration had suspicions about the academy but for a price, he could make it go away.
Right.
That's why Taylor was asking the Chinese students to cough up cash.
Except he kept all the money for himself.
Well, so, who was the crooked cop? Well, he claimed that, uh, he never met him but, uh, he had a name.
Steed.
(LAUGHS) - He said it was you.
- Yeah, well, he's lying.
- I've got nothing to do with it.
- It's not about what I believe.
That man's a murderer.
He He killed Mr and Mrs King.
Tried to drown Rita.
We've got witnesses and evidence against that man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, um, this doesn't solve our little side issue, does it? What are you saying? I'm saying that he could cause a lot of trouble.
But there's a way out.
Slap him on the wrist, send him on his way.
Let him go? Then no-one need ever know that he pointed the finger at you.
Problem solved.
But, um, we can only hold him till the end of the day, so you think about it.
PEREGRINE: No, no, James, someone gave Bruce Taylor your name.
Sparrow's behind this.
He has to be.
Birdie, I know it's a lot to ask but I can't see any other solution.
Your Aunt Phryne, she kept that evidence as leverage over Sparrow.
We hand it over and then that's it - it's gone forever.
Gone.
But as the wisest person I know once said to me, 'misericordia ante glorium'.
- Compassion - No.
You really like this fellow, don't you? (SIGHS) Thank you, Birdie.
If I'm the wisest person you know, then that's very concerning.
(DOOR CLOSES) You've got one minute, little fish.
I've got bigger fish to fry.
We both know why I'm here.
You can't do this to James.
You'll ruin his life.
I know that you're on the take.
Don't deny it.
I've seen you.
Grabbing yourself a little bonus whenever you can.
And I understand why - overworked, underpaid.
But you're not a murderer and you can't let a murderer go free.
So, what are you asking? Call Bruce's bluff.
What's the word of a shoddy accountant against a chief inspector? Charge him with murder.
Why would I take that risk? To put an end to the risk of your own public humiliation.
Hmm.
Madam Lyon is yours - if you look after James.
Deal.
Well, are you going to keep me in suspense? What did he say? Sparrow's charging Bruce Taylor with the murders and he's gonna support me if any allegations are thrown my way.
Very good.
So, maybe he wasn't the crooked cop using my name.
- Well, I guess you'll never know.
- (HALF-LAUGHS) (BELL RINGS) Oh.
- Peregrine.
- (BOTH LAUGH) Are you really cooking? Well, I have to keep up the family tradition, hmm? Apparently, my aunt was a whiz in the kitchen.
(LAUGHS) No, that's a joke.
Who told you that? Phryne's butler did it all.
What? Oh, bloody Birdie! (BOTH LAUGH) Oh, well, I've made it now.
(BOTH LAUGH) - It smells great.
- (LAUGHS) - What is it? - It is apricot chicken in a bag.
(LAUGHS) Who would've thought that would work? Wow.
Well, go on.
Be brave.
Hey, before that, um, I just want to say it's been such a big week (GASPS) and, um, Peregrine, I just I just want to say how much I appreciate everything that you do and I want you to know just how much that you (DOORBELL RINGS) Are you expecting someone? No.
- (PRESSES INTERCOM BUTTON) Hello? - BIRDIE: It's just us.
OTHERS: Hello.
Come up.
(BUZZ!) (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) (WOMAN LAUGHS) Well, we knew you were cooking, Peregrine, so we thought we'd have to save you.
('60s PARTY MUSIC PLAYS) Samuel! Well, look, this is all very nice but completely unnecessary.
- Oh.
- I think this is for you.
Good luck.
Oh.
I think this just might be the best one I've ever tasted.
- Yes! - Ah-ha! You are a terrible liar.
(ALL TALK AT ONCE) Sugar and spice And everything's nice I'm gonna kiss you once, I'm gonna kiss you twice Watch your heads.
(POP!) (EXCLAIMS) ('60s POP MUSIC PLAYS) (LAUGHTER)