1000 Ways to Die s05e12 Episode Script
Todays Special Death
n sometimes find them trying.
My boy doesn't like vegetables.
Where's the meat? You suck it up and learn to leave each other alone.
Get out of here! But then there's the bitch like Barbara Who's better off left for dead.
Remember that one time? Tina, Shelly, and Jessica were three divorcees who spent their time drinking down their alimony payments.
To the douche bags.
If the booze ran out, they took turns going to the liquor store.
Jessica was today's designated drunk driver.
It's your turn.
- But a recent D.
U.
I.
- and impounded car posed a problem, but not for long.
Mower.
Bye.
Jessica set off for the open lawn.
Anyone that's operating a vehicle on a private or a public highway, such as an ATV, a bicycle, someone driving a motorized lawn mower, can be subject to arrest for D.
U.
I.
Throughout the United States, approximately are arrested for driving under the influence annually, and of that number, approximately are killed in drunk-driving-related accidents.
After running the stop sign, Jessica got some unwanted attention.
Ma'am, stop the tractor, please.
Shut it off! With the cops on her trail, Jessica punched it.
Ma'am, stop the tractor.
But with a top speed of four miles per hour, he only choice was to go off-road.
I'm gonna have her stopped.
That's when Jessica hit rock bottom.
The fall stunned her, but it didn't stop the mower.
This high-powered lawn mower Cut right through her tissue, her arteries, and her bone.
And even then, it only slowed down to 2,800 rpm Still enough force to cut through the rest of her body.
Just ground her up, and actually bled out within a matter of a few seconds.
By the time the cop arrived, miss D.
U.
I.
was D.
O.
A.
Up next You wearing a bra with that? A bad apple falls from his tree.
And a tea party candidate takes a new position on gun control.
People don't always become sociopathic jerks.
You wearing a bra with that? Sometimes they're born that way.
Lee was not only a first-class jerk.
Call somebody who cares, sir.
Have a nice day.
He was also a poster boy for incompetence.
Oops.
I'm afraid we're gonna have to let you go.
But in today's world, you need to be careful when you fire a nut job like Lee You're gonna regret firing me.
Because that may be just enough to turn a jerk into a killer.
There are an average of 500 workplace shootings in the United States each year, and Lee was about to add his name to the list.
His weapon of choice A single-shot, bolt-action rifle.
Single-shot, bolt-action rifles have a much easier way of being assembled and disassembled, as opposed to a semiautomatic weapon.
The other thing that makes them different is that the rounds are loaded and ejected manually by the shooter.
The value of having a rifle that really doesn't self-eject brass is that the shooter decides when that brass can be ejected, so that won't compromise his position to prey or an enemy sniper.
But today Lee had much more than an itchy trigger finger.
It was allergy season, and he was suffering from a full-blown bout of hay fever.
Lee didn't know it, but he was one of 5% of people with severe allergies to oak pollen.
By the time his boss stepped out of the office Lee was suffering the effects of allergy-induced vertigo.
In this individual, who's in a tree with likely tens of thousands of pollen particles, it only takes minutes to develop a severe allergic reaction.
He developed a sense of vertigo caused by an allergic inflammation in the ear canal.
He felt a sense of dizziness and subsequently fell from the tree.
The fall from the tree resulted in the compression of the cervical spinal cord, causing the person's paralysis and subsequent death.
Lee was an angry bird Call somebody who cares, sir.
Who didn't like what he heard.
I'm afraid we're gonna have to let you
My boy doesn't like vegetables.
Where's the meat? You suck it up and learn to leave each other alone.
Get out of here! But then there's the bitch like Barbara Who's better off left for dead.
Remember that one time? Tina, Shelly, and Jessica were three divorcees who spent their time drinking down their alimony payments.
To the douche bags.
If the booze ran out, they took turns going to the liquor store.
Jessica was today's designated drunk driver.
It's your turn.
- But a recent D.
U.
I.
- and impounded car posed a problem, but not for long.
Mower.
Bye.
Jessica set off for the open lawn.
Anyone that's operating a vehicle on a private or a public highway, such as an ATV, a bicycle, someone driving a motorized lawn mower, can be subject to arrest for D.
U.
I.
Throughout the United States, approximately are arrested for driving under the influence annually, and of that number, approximately are killed in drunk-driving-related accidents.
After running the stop sign, Jessica got some unwanted attention.
Ma'am, stop the tractor, please.
Shut it off! With the cops on her trail, Jessica punched it.
Ma'am, stop the tractor.
But with a top speed of four miles per hour, he only choice was to go off-road.
I'm gonna have her stopped.
That's when Jessica hit rock bottom.
The fall stunned her, but it didn't stop the mower.
This high-powered lawn mower Cut right through her tissue, her arteries, and her bone.
And even then, it only slowed down to 2,800 rpm Still enough force to cut through the rest of her body.
Just ground her up, and actually bled out within a matter of a few seconds.
By the time the cop arrived, miss D.
U.
I.
was D.
O.
A.
Up next You wearing a bra with that? A bad apple falls from his tree.
And a tea party candidate takes a new position on gun control.
People don't always become sociopathic jerks.
You wearing a bra with that? Sometimes they're born that way.
Lee was not only a first-class jerk.
Call somebody who cares, sir.
Have a nice day.
He was also a poster boy for incompetence.
Oops.
I'm afraid we're gonna have to let you go.
But in today's world, you need to be careful when you fire a nut job like Lee You're gonna regret firing me.
Because that may be just enough to turn a jerk into a killer.
There are an average of 500 workplace shootings in the United States each year, and Lee was about to add his name to the list.
His weapon of choice A single-shot, bolt-action rifle.
Single-shot, bolt-action rifles have a much easier way of being assembled and disassembled, as opposed to a semiautomatic weapon.
The other thing that makes them different is that the rounds are loaded and ejected manually by the shooter.
The value of having a rifle that really doesn't self-eject brass is that the shooter decides when that brass can be ejected, so that won't compromise his position to prey or an enemy sniper.
But today Lee had much more than an itchy trigger finger.
It was allergy season, and he was suffering from a full-blown bout of hay fever.
Lee didn't know it, but he was one of 5% of people with severe allergies to oak pollen.
By the time his boss stepped out of the office Lee was suffering the effects of allergy-induced vertigo.
In this individual, who's in a tree with likely tens of thousands of pollen particles, it only takes minutes to develop a severe allergic reaction.
He developed a sense of vertigo caused by an allergic inflammation in the ear canal.
He felt a sense of dizziness and subsequently fell from the tree.
The fall from the tree resulted in the compression of the cervical spinal cord, causing the person's paralysis and subsequent death.
Lee was an angry bird Call somebody who cares, sir.
Who didn't like what he heard.
I'm afraid we're gonna have to let you