3Below: Tales of Arcadia (2018) s02e03 Episode Script

1 [LUUG BARKING.]
[PANTING, GRUNTS.]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
One, two, three below! That's it, I've finished the Internet.
There's nothing left to see.
I'm so bored.
This summer isn't crispy at all.
There's nothing to do.
It almost makes me miss school.
That's crazy-town talk, Darc.
We could go see a movie.
Ooh, Gun Robot Versus Laser Ninjas! - [LUUG GRUNTING.]
- [DARCI.]
Seen it.
Needed more ninjas.
Accept it, Steve.
This is the most boring summer on record.
[STEVE CHUCKLING.]
- [MARY.]
Steve, put me down! [SCREAMS.]
- [WATER SPLASHES.]
[STEVE.]
Is it boring now? [MALE VOICE.]
Armada launching in T-minus one horvath.
Ay, that does not sound good.
It appears Morando wasted no time readying his fleet to invade Earth.
I'm receiving an incoming transmission from Loth Saborian.
Loth to Resistance base.
Code red! I repeat [IZITA.]
How much time do we have to stop him? We are out of time Initiate launch sequence and set a course for planet Uurrth.
Your Highness, we shall reach Earth in just under 16 horvaths, or we can take a more scenic route.
Then in 16 horvaths, the last of House Tarron shall end and none shall mistake them for royals again.
Base to Resistance Strykers.
You need to stop Morando's fleet.
Take out his Syclopion ship.
- [PILOT.]
Copy.
In pursuit now.
- They're our last hope.
If they fail, nothing will stop him from coming to Earth.
- [PILOT 1.]
Target in sight.
- [PILOT 2.]
Affirmative.
May Gaylen's glory be with you.
[IZITA.]
The Resistance will remember the sacrifice you have made this day.
[ELECTRONIC CHIRPING.]
[TAYLON.]
Sir, a puny but determined fleet of V-Strykers approaches.
They're trying to keep us from launching.
Open fire! But, sir, we should wait and initiate communications.
Firing is a perfect way to communicate.
[GASPS.]
Come in! Do you read me? Anyone? [PILOT.]
I read you.
It's not looking good.
[IZITA.]
One left.
Seklos and Gaylen help us.
[ELECTRONIC CHIRPING.]
- [PILOT.]
Target locked.
- [LAUGHING.]
[PILOT.]
Firing! [AJA.]
No! [GASPS.]
- [VARVATOS SIGHS.]
- Seklos and Gaylen be with them.
I'm afraid there is nothing else the Resistance can do to stop him.
Those were the last of our ships.
[GASPS.]
What about nuclear drones? Nuclear? Hardly.
There are parking enforcement drones, but we do not have enough pilots.
- [EXPLOSIONS.]
- The Resistance is under attack! Royals, I fear you and Earth are on your own.
- [EXPLOSION.]
- No! - [DOOR OPENS.]
- [STEVE.]
Uh is it now a bad time to say we're out of lemonade? [ICE CLINKING.]
- Yes! - And, Steve, we need a mekron to think.
Can you make sure no one comes inside the mother ship? And that includes you.
Sorry.
On it.
I'll keep the civilians at bay.
Palchuk out.
Why must the local youths lounge by our aqua pit? Because Mother gave us the only house on the block with a pool.
- Your Majesties, invasion is imminent.
- Then we have no choice.
Varvatos must alert the Earthen authorities.
- What? - The police? Are you a soolian? We cannot aspire to victory without the aid of the hoo-mans' military support.
The police will help us acquire the army we need.
I concur with the traitor.
Varvatos, you were at Area 49B.
You saw what the humans would do to us.
With human lives now at stake, defending this mudball must take priority over our well-being.
Hey! That one's mine.
Varvatos knows you have been working on a portable method for transduction.
It was intended to hide our Akiridion forms, not expose them.
- Hmm.
Hey! - Ha! Your concern is noted.
But we cannot face Morando without an army, and right now, the hoo-mans are all we have.
He's right.
We need an army.
We need to recruit new warriors.
- [ANNOUNCER ON TV.]
Unagi bonus! - [TOBY.]
Order up! - Sashimi me, Pepperjack! - [ELI.]
Yes, Chef! [SPEAKING JAPANESE.]
[TOBY.]
That is a sad California roll.
[ELI.]
I keep forgetting the avocado 'cause I'm allergic.
- [TOBY.]
You're allergic to winning! - Rock and roll! Thanks for letting us hang here, guys.
This is the most boring summer ever, and So, I've got some good and bad news for you.
The bad news is that your planet is about to be invaded by an extraterrestrial force.
What's the good news? Your summer is officially no longer boring.
Now, enough fishy games.
We must train you.
A real intergalactic army is coming for Earth, - and you want - Our help? You are the most accomplished human warriors we know.
[KREL.]
She means the only human warriors we know.
[BOTH GASP.]
- Yeah, awesomesauce! - [ELI SHOUTING.]
Ay, ay, ay.
[SQUEALS.]
So cool, so cool, so cool! Wait.
Play it cool, Pepperjack.
Before we agree to enlist, we're gonna need to know if this training is going to involve laser blasters.
We'll need a lot more than serrators if we're going to stand up to the Akiridion fleet.
We've survived some tough odds before.
Imminent death numerous times, the end of Arcadia twice.
Not to mention the Go-Go Sushi Omakase level.
[TOBY LAUGHS.]
Alien weapons! How cool is that? We're talking about a warship full of robot soldiers, people.
- Sorry! - This is not a game! - [KREL.]
Hmm but it could be.
- [VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING.]
As we speak, an entire armada is traversing the galaxy, intent on raining sweet death and destruction upon the dump heap that is your home world! [SLURPING.]
Ah! An armada of, uh, aliens, is it? Robots! Death machines! Programmed to kill by the most vile General Morando.
They are as without mercy as Varvatos himself and almost as adept at slaughtering! [LAUGHS.]
You know, ever since trolls literally surfaced in this town, everyone's got a theory on what's next.
Vampires, wizards.
My own daughter thinks the Billycraggle is real.
But killer robots from outer space? That's a first.
Your distrust of Varvatos Vex's veracity is most distracting, though not unexpected, which is why he comes bearing irrefutable evidence.
Stand back.
What you are about to witness could very well melt the fibers of your feeble hoo-man mind.
[CLICKS.]
[SLURPING.]
Mm.
[SIGHS.]
- [SERRATOR CLICKING.]
- Uh, one secton.
Varvatos is not yet accustomed to this new mobile technology.
Uh-huh.
Mind melting.
[GROANS.]
I was under the impression there would be laser swords.
In time.
But first, the key to a soldier's victory is patience.
Patience: check.
But there will be laser blasters, right? - Ah! Ha! - [LAUGHS.]
Look at Eli! - Ah! - Could you please quiet yourselves? The king-in-waiting is working.
Your Taylon access codes were still active.
[LAUGHS.]
Morando's getting sloppy.
Hmm.
[GRUNTING.]
By Gaylen's Honor, Varvatos swears [SCOTT.]
Look, gramps, wasting police time is a serious offense.
Now, if you'll excuse me, there are some actual emergencies I need to attend to.
What could be a greater emergency than planetary annihilation? [MAN OVER WALKIE.]
Detective Scott, we've got an 11-66A old lady stealing shopping cart.
Ooh, now, that's serious.
[SLURPING.]
[SHOUTING.]
[TOBY SHOUTING, GRUNTS.]
Whoa, that looks so cool! Krel, now is not the time for video games.
It's exactly the time for video games.
- Their raw fish game gave me this idea.
- Whoa, cool! You're hacking into the Matrix! - Uh, guys - This is not a matrix.
Right, right, of course.
For sure, totally.
You're hacking into the mainframe! - Still cool! - No, not cool.
You know what's actually cool? Patience.
Technically, I am accessing the royal security network via an intergalactic data mining client.
Okay, that's fine, too, but you think we could call it the "mainframe"? Ugh, fine! What is it you're doing? - [COMPUTER TRILLS.]
- I am saving the planet.
[POWERS DOWN.]
- [DOG BARKING.]
- Okay, what's that Luug-looking thing? It's the game.
And now, we need to sync it with the parking drones.
Izita, I need you to access the drone depot.
- On it.
- [TAYLON.]
Security alert.
Sector three delta available for class IV transport.
Prince Krel does realize that without pilots, - these drones will be of little use.
- [ZADRA.]
He's working on that.
Just input the transmit code.
- [DOG BARKING.]
- [KREL.]
I call it "Dog Fight".
This Luug represents us, and the giant hydrant he's laser peeing on is Morando.
Earth is about to fall victim to a full-blown Akiridion invasion, and you want to play a video game? Also, I've seen better graphics on a calculator.
It's retro, man.
This video game is directly linked to the parking drones' data cache.
Once the Resistance uploads the code, we'll be able to remotely pilot the drones from Earth.
[TOBY.]
Meaning, we play the game, we fly the drones.
Data uplink confirmed.
We now have a battalion of drones at our disposal.
- Awesome! But there's only five of us.
- [EXPLOSIONS.]
Not enough to drive an army of drones.
We need more people to play the game.
We need this to go viral.
I don't get it, Carl.
What's Dog Fight? My name is Krel.
It's a super lively video game Carl made and the new cure for summer boredom! It's super contagious.
Make it go viral, Mary.
Infect everyone! [SCOFFS.]
Why does it look so old? - It's retro! - Doesn't "retro" mean old? Please, Mary, we're not asking you to make us popular or cool.
- We're asking you to help us save the - The summer.
Meh, it's not like I have anything better to do.
- Yes! Thank you, Mary! - You're welcome.
- Now scoot over.
You're in my light.
- [PHONE BEEPS.]
Hey! It's your girl Mary telling you to download the super cool new game Dog Fight.
It's a blast and it will save your summer.
#RetroRules! #Lively! - [VARVATOS GRUNTING.]
- Hey! You just ruined our game! Varvatos, why the long face? Glorious battle looms on the horizon, and you, the old guard, are Earth's last and only line of defense.
- [PHONE CHIMES.]
- [GIGGLES.]
Oh, excuse me, Varvatos, but my Toby Pie sent me a game invite.
There is no time for games or "Toby'd pies"! I got an invite from MaryWangWorld22, whatever that is.
What is it? It's fun! I mean, look at these cool graphics! - Thank you for the invite, Nancy.
- [GIGGLES.]
Yeah.
- [GIRL 1.]
Hey, check it out! - [GIRL 2.]
Ooh, sweet.
- [GIRL 3.]
Oh, I got it, too.
- [BOY.]
That's fun.
What in the great Gaylen? Is Varvatos Vex the only battle-born warrior concerned about glorious death? - Always.
- Yep.
Sure, sure, I'll alert the military right after I get this bone.
- Yes! Twenty points! - The military [COMPUTER BEEPS.]
[IZITA.]
Come on, royals.
We don't have much time.
Ugh! Intergalactic downloads take forever.
- [PHONE CHIMES.]
- Okay, here we go - [DOG BARKS.]
- [ANNOUNCER.]
Let's dog fight! Xerxes' maelstrom.
Yes! I've got eyes on Morando.
- [ELI.]
Whoo-hoo! - [TOBY LAUGHS.]
- [CHIMES.]
- [DOG BARKS.]
[ANNOUNCER.]
Let's dog fight! Uh, let's mind our Ps and pees, people.
- [PHONE CHIMES.]
- Here goes nothing.
Uh, come on, come on! Yes, yeah, yeah! What are those? I believe those are parking security drones.
- Most peculiar.
- Blast them out of the sky! - [GIRL GRUNTING.]
- [BOY.]
Yeah! [TOBY SHOUTS.]
I'm hit! Well, reset, then.
I've already been blown up, like, five times.
[AJA.]
It's not working, Krel.
The Pepperjack has already lost us five drones.
Give it time.
They just need to learn the game.
Yeah, Aja.
How about a little patience? [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
[DOG BARKING.]
[GASPS.]
Yeah! I got 5,000 points! And the doggie gets a bone.
Cute touch, Krelito.
- Whoo! - Yeah, give me my points.
- Yes! - Yeah, laser pee! - They're learning.
- It's working! I can't believe it! I mean, of course it's working.
- [MUSIC PLAYING.]
- [ANNOUNCER.]
Let's dog fight! - [LASERS SHOOTING.]
- [DOG BARKING.]
- [MAN.]
Get rid of the fire hydrant.
- Come on! You know, chess would be more fun with lasers.
Quiet, Jerry.
Nana's in the zone.
Eat laser-cakes, buttsnack! My fingers are starting to hurt.
I better still be able to text.
Stop your whining, Wang, and help me hose this hydrant.
For the record, I prefer actual combat, but this is lively, too.
[AJA LAUGHING.]
[INDISTINCT PA CHATTER.]
[VARVATOS.]
Well, Luug, the soolian at the police station proved more useless than a larvox in battle.
Hopefully, going straight to the source will work.
Looks like transduction will expire the old-fashioned way.
- [LUUG BARKS.]
- [VARVATOS GROANS.]
- [PHONE CHIMING.]
- Hmm.
- [LUUG BARKING.]
Huh? - [DOG BARKS IN GAME.]
Luug? Krel We're being assaulted by parking drones? Who's piloting them? There are hundreds! Your Highness, I must advise we return And I must advise you to respect your king's command.
- Destroy them all now! - [EXPLOSION.]
- [ALL GRUNTING.]
- Come on, give it to papa.
[LAUGHS.]
Ooh, sushi! [DRONES POWER DOWN.]
- Huh? - Uh, what's a Go-Go Sushi? [DRONES POWER DOWN.]
[AJA.]
Why aren't the drones moving? Why are they stopping, Krel? What's happening to our pilots? - Sweet! I'm on a Go-Go Sushi roll! - [CAT MEWING.]
Got the edamame bonus! - [ANNOUNCER.]
Go-Go Sushi 2! - No, no! No, no, no, no, no! Uh, guys? Bad news of the fishy variety.
Go-Go Sushi 2: Wasabi Revenge just dropped.
Oh, no.
People switched from your game to the new fishy one.
[ALARMS BLARING.]
[ALARMS CONTINUE.]
[BOTH SIGH.]
- How many drones still intact? - [MOTHER.]
Two.
Kleb.
[MOTHER.]
Thanks to Aja's awesome flying skills, make that one.
Is it just me, or has Mother developed a bit of an attitude? The odds aren't looking good, Commander.
- Who has the last drone? - [ELI.]
Yes! I got the hydrant bonus! I told you I was gonna get better.
[KREL.]
Oh, Kleb.
It's Eli! The fates of Earth and Akiridion-5 both come down to this.
The Eli Pepperjack, you're our only hope.
No pressure or anything.
Eli Pepperjack is at your service, Commanders.
- [PHONE CHIMES.]
- [DOG BARKS.]
- No pressure.
- [ANNOUNCER.]
Let's dog fight! [MORANDO.]
One more remains.
- [EXPLOSION.]
- This must be a most vaunted warrior.
You have this, Eli.
I have total and complete faith in you.
Don't take your eyes off the game.
I want every last blaster firing on that drone! [MUSIC PLAYING, CAT MEWING.]
Hmm.
[VARVATOS GRUNTING.]
- [MUSIC CONTINUES.]
- [GRUNTING, GROANS.]
[SIGHS.]
[SOFTLY.]
Glorious.
- [CRASHES.]
- Yah! [GRUNTS.]
- Yes! I just got a rainbow roll! - [VARVATOS HUFFS, SIGHS.]
- [CRASHES.]
- [VARVATOS SHOUTS.]
Ow! Careful! Watch the fire hydrant! All of the hoo-mans seem to be consumed by their communicator devices.
You, too? Tell Varvatos what is happening, or he will expose your entrails to sunlight! Are you familiar with the game of videos called Go-Go Fishing? It's called Go-Go Sushi! Whoa! The Jack of Peppers has a chance at stopping Morando.
- He is our last hope.
- I know I'm the last hope! I've seen the movies, okay? Come on, Pepperjack.
You're a Creepslayer! I can't get a window.
There's just no way.
- I can't do it! - There's always another way.
A brilliant engineer once told Varvatos that.
Another way.
That's it! Head for the navigation wing! But the precision required for that shot I know, but it's our only shot.
This is too much pressure, guys.
I can't do it! That's right, Eli, you can't.
- Krel! - I'm going somewhere with this.
Give me a secton.
You may be piloting the very last drone, but we are all in this together.
Okay.
Tell me what to do.
Sharp left! Now right.
And up ahead! Lock on! - [DRONE CHIRPS.]
- [ELI.]
My target is locked.
- You got this, Eli! - No, we got this.
This resistance is over! You are mine! Ah! - [LASERS FIRING.]
- [DOG BARKING.]
- [MORANDO LAUGHING.]
- [ELI GRUNTING.]
[GASPS.]
We lost.
A most valiant effort, indeed.
Seklos and Gaylen.
You did it.
[ELI.]
What? No.
I lost.
They destroyed my drone.
[IZITA.]
But not before your last shot caused critical damage.
Morando will be forced to retreat.
- Parking drones? - [LOTH WHIMPERING.]
[POWERS DOWN.]
[ELI.]
I did it? I mean, I did it! - We did it! - [ALL CHEERING.]
Oh, thank Seklos, he did it! Good job, bro.
[AJA.]
Nice work, the Pepperjack! [TOBY.]
Awesomesauce! - [ALARM BLARING.]
- [MORANDO.]
Parking drones? Parking drones? Parking drones? My king, we must retreat and dock the ship.
Reverse course to Akiridion-5.
How long for the repairs? Two parsons, my liege.
Make it one parson.
And triple the bounty.
The royals were behind this and they will pay.
[MOTHER.]
Boo-ya! That's what Mother calls "game over".
Who's bad? I'm bad.
Eli of Peppers, congratulations on your first wartime victory.
Wait, Varvatos.
Did you tell the human authorities about us? Varvatos tried, and Varvatos failed.
Apparently, our engineer has not perfected his latest creation.
- You forgot to remove the safety.
- [VARVATOS.]
Huh.
In the future, Varvatos Vex will attempt to listen more closely to you and the queen-in-waiting.
- Varvatos humbly apologizes.
- [AJA GASPS.]
An apology from the great Varvatos Vex? Mother, are you recording this? Yes, Your Highness.
I plan to review it on loop.
Your parents once placed Varvatos in charge of your protection.
But today, it was you and your hoo-man compatriots who protected Earth and Akiridion-5.
You are Varvatos Vex's equals.
Ahem, my royals [MOTHER.]
We are receiving an incoming transmission from Akiridion-5.
To the heirs of House Tarron and rightful future Queen and King of Akiridion-5, Aja and Krel Tarron.
Serving Akiridion-5 is the honor and duty of House Tarron.
But we were not the only ones who saved you today.
We couldn't have done it without Eli Pepperjack.
- He's human.
- Hi, I'm Eli, the human.
Thank you for fighting with us and for our planet's future.
Then we thank you, Eli the Pepperjack.
Eli Pepperjack! Long live Eli Pepperjack! [AKIRIDIONS CHEERING.]
They're bowing for the cheese slice? [AKIRIDION.]
Long live Eli Pepperjack! - [CHEERING CONTINUES.]
- Ow! I'm not comfortable with all the bowing and kneeling yet.
That's okay.
[CHUCKLES.]
I am.
Ugh! This is the worst, most boringest summer ever! Nothing cool ever happens around here.
What happened to Go-Go Sushi 2? - Beat it.
- Finished.
- Donezo.
- Well, I, for one, am excited to have a completely boring summer.
- Agreed.
- [THUNDER CRASHES.]
- [ALL SHOUTING.]
- [MARY.]
Worst summer ever! [ROARING.]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]