3Below: Tales of Arcadia (2018) s02e08 Episode Script

1 [LUUG BARKING.]
[PANTING, GRUNTS.]
[KUBRITZ.]
This is Area 49B.
What a quaint collection.
For now.
But thanks to these droids you gave me, I believe my collection will grow exponentially.
You said you've been working with Tronos Madu.
He's a loose cannon.
One day he cooperates, the next he rebels.
[TRONOS GRUNTS.]
I'll kill you, human! - See what I mean? - King Morando! My liege.
You keep him in a cage? - It's the only way I can control him.
- He's not yours to control.
He's my bounty hunter.
Open it now! [KEYPAD BEEPING.]
Thank you for freeing me.
But of course.
- [SERRATOR PIERCES.]
- [GRUNTS.]
How else could I be expected to kill you? [TRONOS SCREAMING.]
[MORANDO.]
You failed, Tronos.
The penalty for such failure is death.
A lesson you would do well to learn, Colonel.
[COSTAS GASPS.]
[KUBRITZ GROWLS.]
- [METAL HISSING.]
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES.]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
One, two, three below! [MALE.]
Let's take that train.
[ANNOUNCER.]
Sector One, admittance control protocol is in effect.
Hurry up, my love.
Come on.
[JABE.]
My royals, apologies for my delay.
Morando has an Omen posted on every corner these delsons.
We know things are getting worse on Akiridion-5, but we think we have some good news.
Krel.
Must you play with that bag of flatulence right this moment? Luug's our little cameraman.
He's going to record this momentous occasion.
Right, Luug? [HUFFS.]
Hold still! - Aha! There! - [WHINES.]
And what is the momentous occasion? Repairing our spaceship proved futile, so voilà! - Oh huh - Huh? I built a device that will create a wormhole.
Isn't that lively? - Brilliant! - [BOTH GASP.]
Now, it is just a prototype and I don't know if it works yet, but, yes, heh, I am brilliant.
I know.
Thank you.
You did get that on camera, right? [BARKS, WHINES.]
- The boom box, if you please.
- [GROANS.]
- You promised.
- Something Varvatos now regrets.
- Hit the pose.
- [DJ.]
Check it.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
What are those sounds? Earth's greatest contribution! It's called music! In just a few sectons, you will taste the chocolatey goodness of Earth's most cherished delicacy, the Nougat No! [GASPING.]
- Got it.
- It worked! - My demo tape was in there! - Ah! You did it, little brother! - Now Akiridion-5 is right there! - [WHINING.]
We can finally go home! - And leave Earth.
- Not yet.
I will have to magnify the technology so we can send something bigger than a box of boom.
Until then, we will gather the resistance.
Loth Saborian is being held captive by Morando.
You must free him.
He cannot be allowed to come to harm.
It shall be done, my queen-in-waiting.
[DJ.]
Four, three, two! Check it! We are going home, little brother! [LAUGHING.]
Varvatos, where are you going? Varvatos Vex needs a moment.
He has to consider the bitter side of goodbye.
And the award for brilliant engineer goes to [LAUGHS.]
me, Krel Tarron! [AJA.]
And the universe goes wild! - [IMITATES CROWD.]
Yes! Krel! Krel! Krel! - [GRUNTS.]
No! You drop it right now! Give it back! Give it! Let me try.
Luug, can you drop it for me? Please? I'll give you all the Mr.
Happy Balls in the galaxy if you do.
[WHINING.]
- Oh, no.
- Oh, no.
- [PANTING, WHINES.]
- [STOMACH GURGLES.]
- [FARTS.]
- Ugh! - The prototype is gone! - Our dog is gone, you gloober! [GIRL.]
Throw it over here! [LUUG FARTS.]
- Huh? [GASPS.]
- [LUUG WHINING.]
- Eeeh! - [BARKING.]
[GIRL SCREAMS.]
- Oh, my gosh! - Yeah.
- Daddy, Daddy! - [SIGHS.]
Honey, I'm on an important call.
- Okay, where were we? Oh, yeah.
- Daddy! Yeah, so you were telling me coffee is a fruit.
- A monster is after us! Ah! - [LUUG FARTS.]
[LUUG BARKING.]
- [PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
- [WOMAN 1.]
What is that thing? - [WOMAN 2.]
Is that a rat? - [TIRES SCREECH.]
[LUUG BARKING.]
[KREL.]
Luug is downtown? - How did this happen? - It doesn't matter.
That's the diner.
- It isn't far.
I can get him.
- [PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
I think Luug's stomach acids have scrambled the device.
The next time he has a [GAGS.]
gaseous episode, he could end up anywhere in town.
- [GASPS.]
Or the galaxy.
- I'm going after him.
Call me when you see where he ends up next! Remarkable, truly.
With this kind of weaponry, the galaxy will think twice before messing with Earth ever again.
- Colonel! - Ugh! Is there something you want? I'm getting reports that this Morando fella is working on something strange.
This arrangement you made with him kinda seems like a deal with the devil.
A devil we know who's agreed to provide us with the tech we need to protect Earth, especially our great nation, from any foreign invaders.
Now let's go see what exactly the general's up to.
[KUBRITZ.]
General, I hear you've been busy.
Calm yourself, Colonel.
This is merely an ionic projection.
It's It's beautiful.
It is the origin of my planet.
The great Gaylen was a celestial of fearsome power.
He crushed the stars in his hand and from that dust created Akiridion-5.
He created an entire planet? - He's gone now, but his core remains.
- [COSTAS GASPS.]
It is a weapon of remarkable power, and it is here on your planet.
Ah, that's why you've come.
Help me find Gaylen's core, and I will provide you with all the weapons you need to defend yourself against the galaxy.
[CHUCKLES.]
Let's get to work.
[GROANS.]
[MOTHER.]
You'll be returning to Akiridion-5 soon.
Why are you sad? Because Varvatos Vex never thought about having to say "goodbye" to Nancy.
Because you've developed feelings for her? [GRUNTS.]
Varvatos Vex does not have human feelings! But he never had the opportunity to tell Nancy how much he likes spending time with her.
Then Varvatos should.
I mean, you should.
Varvatos does not know how.
Don't worry.
Earth has many instructional videos.
They are called "rom-coms".
I might not have much time left on this marble we call Earth, but I love you.
To the moon and back.
[SNIFFLES, SIGHS.]
What beautiful words.
Varvatos Vex knows how to describe glorious, blood-strewn battles, but not luuve? I have been studying these human feelings for several delsons.
Don't worry.
When you're ready, I'll talk you through it.
- [LUUG FARTS.]
- [KREL.]
Wait, what's happening here? Is Luug flying through downtown? [WHINING.]
[GIRL.]
Look, Daddy! There's the monster I saw! - [DAD.]
Yeah - [SQUEALS.]
[LUUG FARTS.]
- [CAT SCREECHING.]
- [BARKING.]
[KREL.]
Alleyway, behind the movie theater! On it.
- [GRUNTS.]
Sorry! Lost pet! - [GASPS.]
[LUUG BARKING.]
[GIRLS SCREAMING.]
[WHINING.]
[GRUNTING, BARKING.]
- [LUUG LAPPING WATER.]
- Ugh! Aja, please! How do you kiss this dog's mouth? Dogs' mouths are cleaner than humans'.
Really? [LAUGHS.]
- Does Steve drink out of a toilet? - I will ask him.
- [TOILET FLUSHES.]
- Luug? [WATER RUSHING.]
[FARTS.]
- Luug? - [MAN.]
Whoa! Luug? Luug! Luug? - Hey, who's Luug? - My lost dog.
I'd help you look, but I can't leave the shop.
I thought you were a waiter.
If you knew how little the people in this town tip, you'd know I need more than one job to make ends meet.
But if you wanted, I could read your palm to try and see into your future.
[SCOFFS.]
There are letters on my hand? Hmm.
That's quite the travel line.
- You taken any big trips lately? - [LUUG FARTS, BARKING.]
I'm about to take one now.
Bye! Mm, guess I should have seen that coming.
- [LUUG WHINING.]
- [GIRL.]
Daddy, Daddy! Dad! Daddy! - Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! - [LUUG FARTS.]
- Dad! Dad! - Ugh! Darling, next time say, "Excuse me".
It wasn't me, it was the monster! You saw a monster? Ha! Tiny humans tell such wonderful stories.
Tiny humans? [LAUGHING.]
Krel, he's moving all over the place.
- I can't keep up! - You're right.
He's too unpredictable.
We don't know where or when he's moving.
Unless The calibration chip! [LAUGHS.]
I inserted it into the wormhole generator during my initial testing.
If it isn't too corroded by Luug's stomach acids, I can maybe hack into it.
It'll help me control where he moves, but not when.
Krel, you might just be a genius after all.
- Might? Ugh! - [PHONE RINGS.]
Now is not a good time, Toby.
Where are you, man? We're starting our casting session! We're finding actors for our movie.
- We need you here.
- I cannot! - Our dog ate a wormhole! - Also - [LINE CLICKS.]
- And he hung up.
You forgot to tell him about the footage from Area 49B! - What did he say? - His dog has worms.
I don't know, but we're on our own.
Toby-pie, would you and your friends like cookies? It's Toby the auteur, Nana.
But, yes, please leave the cookies.
All right! Mr.
Scott, so glad you could come out.
- Whenever you're ready.
- Thank you.
I will be performing a monologue from Trollfighters by Dr.
Barbara Lake.
- [CLAPS.]
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
My brethren, we must go forth and fight the Trolls, for we are called "Trollfighters".
Um yeah - [BEEPS.]
- [TOBY.]
Hmm.
Says here you have experience wrestling.
Nice! I once killed a man in the ring in Mexico.
Is that enough experience? Whoa! Steve Palchuk, auditioning for the role of DJ Kleb.
What? We've already cast DJ Kl Shh! Just watch.
Don't call them zombies! Those were our family.
They were dead [CRYING.]
but they're walking now.
An excerpt from my one-woman show titled Is It Love or Is It Just a Prank? Before long, I felt myself fading into the background.
Oh, no.
And what doth Trollfighters doeth? They fight Trolls! - Um what was that? - Well, I liked it.
You don't hear "doth" enough these days.
They use "do" now, don't they? [CRYING.]
I never thought I'd see my father again, to hug him.
- [SAD VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYING.]
- He's right there, just on the other side of that boarded-up window.
And you're telling me I can't go out there? - [CRYING.]
- [STEVE.]
I can't go out there? - [MUSIC CONTINUES.]
- [BLOWS NOSE.]
[STEVE.]
Well, I'd rather die in the arms of my undead father.
[GROANS.]
Sad.
What is my purpose? Is it merely to teach? Alas! I am so much more than a teacher.
Yeah Next! [SCREAMING.]
than die like a coward son [GASPS.]
hiding for the rest of my life.
[DEATH RATTLE.]
And scene, buttsnacks.
Thank you! - [BOTH CRYING.]
- We can't recast Krel.
Or can we? - I am a terrified man - [TOBY.]
Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut! I want more "ah"! Go! Ah.
I am a terrified man? [TOBY.]
Cut! More "ahh"! - Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
- Cut, cut, cut it! Cut, cut! - Cut, cut! Cut! Cut! - Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
- Cut, cut, cut! - terrified man.
[LUUG FARTS, WHINES.]
[GASPS.]
I'm a terrified man! - Help me! Help me! Help me! - [ELI SHOUTS.]
[STUART.]
You're a slippery little guy, aren't you? - But I've got ya! - [UHL.]
Help me! Uh, Krel, your dog just popped in, literally! [GROANS.]
[SNIFFS, CLEARS THROAT.]
[HAWK SCREECHES.]
[WOMAN.]
You're welcome to keep it in our garage! - [DOORBELL RINGS.]
- [MAN.]
All right! - Oh, Varvatos! - [OBJECTS CRASH.]
- Is Varvatos interrupting? - Oh, no, no.
- The kids are just playing.
- Um [MOTHER.]
Invite her to join you for a walk.
Would you care to join Varvatos Vex for a walk? Why, yes.
That sounds quite lovely.
[MOTHER.]
Now hold out your elbow.
- Now hold out your elbow! - [NANCY.]
Oh [MOTHER.]
Now compliment her.
Say, "You look most ravishing, my dear.
" You look most like radishes.
[MOTHER.]
Ravishing! Ravishing radishes, my dear.
- [GIGGLES.]
Thank you.
- [MOTHER.]
Well done.
Now say, "You're beautiful, like a work of art.
" You are beautiful, like a work of farts.
What? I look like a farce? - No, farts! - [MOTHER.]
Art! Art! You look like a work of art! Oh, that's very sweet of you! Where is all this coming from? [MOTHER.]
That's your opening.
Tell her, Varvatos! [VEX GROANING.]
Varvatos [GRUNTS.]
I I like you.
Oh, I like you, too, Varvatos.
No, no, no, no! Varvatos I like-like you.
As the teen-folk say, not simply as a friend, but in a "boyfriend-girlfriend" way.
[GIGGLES.]
And Nana like-likes you, too.
Glorious! [CACKLING.]
Lonely That was my name What about Phil? Oh, that's dunzo.
He never wanted to go power walking with me.
Well, Varvatos Vex promises that he is the most powerful of power walkers.
[WHIMPERS.]
- Psst, Loth! - [GASPS.]
Oh! You must leave this place.
It's too dangerous here.
Exactly.
That is why we are getting you out.
No! There are too many guards.
And they will not hesitate to kill us both.
Don't worry.
The king-in-waiting gave us the makings of a distraction.
[IZITA.]
Jabe, play the transmission, now.
[WHIRRING, BEEPING.]
[MUSIC INTRO BLARING.]
[MALE.]
What is this? - [DANCE MUSIC BLARING.]
- [CROWD GASPS.]
[KREL.]
DJ Kleb is in the house! These frequencies are quite pleasing! Wait, that was Prince Krel's voice! [KREL.]
Let's get this party started! - [GUARDS GRUNTING.]
- [IZITA GASPS.]
[DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES.]
You heard the king-in-waiting.
Let's get this party started! Akiridions, rise up! [CROWD SHOUTING.]
[GUARD.]
Backup! We need backup! [GUARDS GRUNTING.]
[GUARD.]
What are you waiting for? Let's go! The distraction worked.
Time to go.
I need to speak to the royals.
You will be able to speak to them in person.
The royals will soon be returning to Akiridion-5.
No, they can't! They must stay on Earth and protect Gaylen's core by What? [STAMMERING.]
No, Gaylen's core is a legend.
- It is just a story.
- It's not.
Gaylen's Core is very real, and it's on Earth.
That's what Morando is after.
Talk to me, Krel.
What's the status on that calibration chip hack? - One secton I'm in! - [BEEPING.]
The wormhole generator's power is getting low.
I'm inputting your coordinates now.
Get ready to catch [LUUG FARTS, WHINES.]
[LUUG WHINING.]
[GROWLING.]
It worked! Behind you! Luug! Come here, boy! [WHINING.]
[IN SLO-MO.]
Come here, boy! Come here, come here, - come here, boy! - [FARTS.]
[COUGHING.]
Kleb! - [LUUG FARTS, WHINING.]
- [CHATTER.]
[SALOON PIANO PLAYING.]
[FOO-FOO.]
Hey, isn't that the royals' pet? - [BARKING.]
- Hey! - [FOO-FOO 1.]
Get that hound! - [FOO-FOO 2.]
Get him! - Hey, I'm gonna need some ID.
- [WHINING.]
[GUN CHARGES.]
[LUUG YELPS.]
[FOO-FOOS.]
Foo-foo! Foo-foo! Foo-foo! Foo-foo! [BARTENDER, DISTORTED.]
Need some ID some ID.
[BARKING.]
- ["THE BLUE DANUBE WALTZ" PLAYING.]
- [WHINING.]
- [LUUG FARTING TO SONG.]
- [KREL.]
Luug's on the moon.
On the what? But he was just teleporting around Arcadia.
I thought you said you could control it.
[KREL.]
His intestines are unfathomable! Whatever they're doing to that wormhole, no science can comprehend.
The standard deviation of his coordinates are getting further away.
Are you saying Luug might not come back? He's always been there for us when we were alone and scared.
He's one of the few things we still have from home.
I know.
I miss him, too.
But he's not gone yet.
I can't make sense of Luug's digestion, but maybe I can access the wormhole itself.
Hold on, I'm going to try something.
[BARKING.]
- [FOO-FOO 1.]
You're mine, slob-gob! - [WHIMPERS.]
- [FOO-FOO 2.]
Get that hound! - [LUUG FARTS.]
[FOO-FOO 1.]
Really? [FARTS, WHIMPERING.]
- Oh, Luug! - [BARKING.]
- Oh! - [BARKING.]
Now you want hugs and kisses! Yes! You got him! [AJA.]
Thanks to your driving, little brother.
That was an almost perfect jump.
Now let's get him home.
Jumping to the moon took a lot of energy.
I'm on it.
You're okay, Luugy.
You're okay now.
But you're still in big trou [FARTS.]
- ble.
- [LUUG WHINES.]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- Good.
Alert me if he leaves the hangar.
- [WHINING.]
- Come on, fart! Fart! Fart! - Fart! Fart! Fart! Fart! - Hmm.
Get them! [SOLDIER 1.]
Get her! [SOLDIERS SHOUTING.]
- Krel, get us out of here! - [KREL.]
I'm trying! - [LUUG FARTS.]
- [SOLDIER 2.]
Where'd she go? - [LUUG FARTING.]
- [SOLDIER 2.]
Oh, my sacrum! Ow! [GROANS.]
- [SOLDIER 3.]
I got her! I got her! Whoa! - [FARTING.]
- [LUUG BARKING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
[LUUG FARTING, WHINING.]
- [KUBRITZ GROWLING.]
- [LUUG FARTING.]
[FARTING CONTINUES.]
[COUGHING.]
[SOLDIER.]
Uh, you okay, ma'am? - Oh! - Get off me! [LUUG FARTS.]
[KREL.]
Aja, are you okay? Where are you? [WHISPERS.]
I think I'm still in Area 49B.
You only have one jump left, maybe two.
- [STATIC HISSES.]
- It's too corroded.
Aja! Aja! [GROWLS.]
The feed cut out.
Krel? Krel, can you hear me? Little brother? [GASPS.]
This is Akiridion technology.
But how did Kubritz get tech from home? - [WHINING.]
- Shh.
It'll be okay, Luug.
On that score, I may have to disagree.
- [GROWLING.]
- Princess Aja.
Come to surrender? - [BARKS.]
- I'll never surrender to you.
[WHIMPERS, FARTS.]
- Luug! - [MORANDO.]
Left all alone.
- Aja, can you hear me? Are you okay? - [CONSOLE BEEPING.]
[AJA GRUNTS.]
[MORANDO SHOUTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
You think you can defeat me? I stopped your Omen, didn't I? Oh, I am far more formidable than an Omen.
I have led whole armies into battle.
I have Well, I cut your parents down to their cores.
[ROARING.]
Bring me her core.
[COUGHING.]
- [LUUG FARTS.]
- [ALL GASP.]
- Get that dog! Ah! - [LUUG BARKING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTING.]
Ah! [LAUGHING.]
This ends now! [LUUG BARKING.]
- [GRUNTS, ROARS.]
- Let's hope you have one jump left.
- Fart! - [FARTS.]
[SNIFFING.]
Ugh! Really? - [LUUG FARTS.]
- [CRICKETS CHIRPING.]
[LUUG SNIFFING.]
Yes! [LAUGHS.]
The jump worked! [LUUG COUGHING, RETCHING.]
But that is absolutely disgusting! - Aja, are you all right? - He's here! He's here! [PANTING.]
General Morando is on Earth.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]