800 Words (2015) s02e16 Episode Script
Season 2, Episode 16
1 It feels like when my brother moved in, and all this kicked off that we lost our innocence.
What am I meant to say when people ask about us? Say, "Yeah, we're over.
" Now I'm apparently some sort of criminal genius.
You get rid of the painting and all your problems go up in smoke.
Hannah, will you marry me? Wow.
I'm looking for someone.
Her name's Jan.
Magazine Jan? Australian woman.
Very pregnant with my twins.
I think you'll find they're my twins, mate.
Third leg in the daddy trifecta.
Twins, George.
Terry, I'm gonna write an article about this place and you're not gonna like it.
(LAUGHS) We eat we consume food as fuel.
We never really stop to consider that the basic act of eating can have huge social meaning.
I thought you didn't read that propaganda sheet.
I'm making an exception, Billy.
Oh, morning, ladies.
Hey, g'day, Billy.
What, is there something important in the paper? George doesn't think we should have his restaurant here.
Never mind some of us are passing NCEA because of it.
Give us a look.
Ouch.
That's not gonna do much for brotherly love, is it? What complete and utter tosh! Anyone can eat in my restaurant.
If you don't mind taking out a second mortgage.
We're barely covering costs.
Exactly.
Good point.
You know what really hurts? The bill at the end of the meal? That he should publish this rubbish in my newspaper.
McNamara.
He's some sort of food socialist.
That's good! Can I tweet that? Sorry, Jared, what's gone missing? GEORGE: (COMPOSING) "Driving all this is the cult of the celebrity chef, the god of the kitchen, to whom the foodies bow and scrape and heap money upon.
And that isn't my version of what food should be.
Or how it should be eaten.
" Not in my little town.
2x16 Some of the people that eat at the restaurant are actually quite nice.
How would you know? You're in the kitchen.
Sometimes they come in to get a photo with Uncle Terry.
Rich pretentious snobs, who think money buys them whatever they want.
Well, isn't that the point of money? And the food is really worth it.
If it were in Sydney, it would be.
What does it matter where it is? It's about what you expect from your community.
I expect Terry to ply his trade in Sydney, so there I'll pay his prices.
Except he lets us eat for free.
Here, it just doesn't fit with the vibe, you know? Weld has a vibe? Of course it does.
It used to be one thing and now it's something else.
Something not as nice.
Thanks to the invasion of pretentious foodies to grovel and have their pictures taken with the great chef Terry.
Yeah, who is gonna be really ticked off when he reads this.
No, I was nice about his food.
If I'd been mean about his cooking, then he'd be angry.
Good morning.
Morning.
My brother is questioning our right to exist.
What, you didn't lock up last night? No, Ollie did.
Right, off you go.
And no alarms when off in the night? No, and this is a very valuable painting we're talking about here.
And as such, it hasn't been sent away for cleaning, say? Why would I do that? Maybe it got food on it.
How would it get food on it, mate? I don't know what people do in here.
I can't afford to eat in here.
Maybe people throw food around, for all I know.
No.
The painting was here last night and it's gone today.
Art theft.
Quite exotic for Weld.
I'll round up the usual suspects.
Hey, what's going on? You guys are in early.
What? You stirred up a hornet's nest.
Did I, Gloria? Well, the phone's rung a few times, which is fairly intense for Weld standards, and your Twitter's going off.
Admittedly, it's mainly Bill Jr in his various guises, expressing his disgust.
It's hilarious.
He can't help but use plumbing metaphors.
"Should we really flush this fine establishment down the dunny?" Genius.
Morning, Bill.
Gloria.
Can George and I have the room for a minute, please? Your room.
You can do what you like.
Yes, it is.
Yes, I can.
Magnificently written article, posing some interesting questions about the nature of our town.
That was the intention.
Course I'm gonna have to fire you because of it.
If I can't say how I feel, I'm not sure I want the job.
Oh, I'm not firing you because of your beautiful words, George, I'm firing you because you're costing me money.
Because people are cancelling their newspaper subscriptions? Because as of today, the restaurant is closed.
Because of the article? You are the boy who cried wolf.
And when it didn't happen, lo, you made it so.
Your brother's walked, taking his crew with him.
Over what I wrote? You did question their right to exist, George.
Clearly, Terry has taken it very personally.
Have you spoken to Terry? No, he's not answering his phone.
Well, then how do you know he walked? Robbie found his crew packing up.
They said they don't stay where they're not wanted.
Big Mac, if Terry has cut and run, it has nothing to do with my story, the story he knew I was writing.
You suggested his restaurant was an elitist blight on Weld.
No, I suggested you're restaurant was an elitist blight.
You don't really know my brother, do you? He's a cook, who shakes hands with devils like you so he gets to cook what he wants.
If I'd criticised his roasted duck breast, then, yes, he'd toss his handbag and walk.
But I didn't.
I praised his food to the rooftops.
So no, Terry did not walk because I had a crack at your restaurant.
If not that, then why? I don't exactly know.
The fact remains that he's walked.
And I would like you to find him, find out why and stop him.
And then maybe you can keep your job.
It's cool, Shay.
Don't worry.
Ollie, the police are involved now.
(LAUGHS) Constable Tom? I mean, it's not exactly like the FBI are coming after us, is it? You have no idea if the painting was there when you locked up? No.
It's a rather large painting on the wall.
Bit hard to miss.
I wasn't looking at the wall, I was looking the other way so The other way? Yeah, like, away from the wall.
Relax.
Everything's sweet.
Hello? Hannah? It's George.
Hey, George.
Terry here? Uh, nuh.
Any idea where he is? No.
Have you tried calling him? He's not answering.
Well, maybe he's unhappy about what you wrote.
So he's read it then? Yep.
Did he seem unhappy? Oh, I don't think he really cared, actually.
In fact, I'd say he thought it was funny.
Did he say where he was going? No, but he normally gets up early to get stuff for the restaurant.
Oh.
What? Nothing, it's just Nothing, just what? Just I think you really need to talk to him, Hannah.
Or at least he needs to talk to you.
I'm sorry.
What for? Interrupting.
I'll leave you to it.
(PHONE DIALS, MESSAGE BANK BEEPS) Look, I don't really care if you wanna ignore me.
But don't you dare treat Hannah like this.
Alright, everyone, Mr Turner would like to talk to those working at the restaurant.
I won't keep you too long from your studies or whatever.
I just want to talk to the numpty crew.
So unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond my control, the restaurant is now officially closed as of today.
But I did wanna stop by and thank you all for doing such an amazing job.
I'll make sure there's a little something extra for you when Robbie sorts out the last pay.
And if anyone needs a reference, you can contact me.
Yes, Jared? What about our credits? I is that a school thing? NCEA.
I don't know anything about that, mate.
The work that you've done will count towards your internal assessments.
Or you can do what I did - just get outta here as quick as you can, get into the real world.
(CLEARS THROAT) But staying in school is cool too.
Uncle Terry.
Hey, mate.
These circumstances, is that Dad and what he wrote? No, it's a bigger picture.
Which is? Your dad well, he's right.
He's usually right when it comes to me.
That doesn't answer the question.
Arlo, give me a break Are you leaving 'cause of my dad? You've got other things to worry about.
Like what are you gonna do with you life? And don't you listen to your old man on that one because you could be a star in the kitchen.
And he's only gonna try and talk you out of it.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS) Yeah, so I don't end up like you.
Which will never happen.
Because you, Arlo Turner, are your own man.
I thought you were off the booze.
Just keeping the stock safe so certain buggers don't take any for themselves.
You've got a dim view of society.
I got a dim view of you, mate.
You're welcome to write a reply.
What's the point? Ship's already sunk, my friend, and you're the iceberg.
In fact, I should probably call the cops, get you done for trespassing.
Get your hand off it, Robbie.
George is welcome here any time of the day or night so you be nice to him.
In return, I promise not to tell your dad about you skimming the profits.
He shouldn't have bailed just 'cause of what he wrote.
It's not that simple, Robbie.
Literally the closest thing I've ever seen to a rat in a sinking ship.
(LAUGHS) So I'm guessing you wanna talk.
You think so? Yeah.
Not here.
Too many bad memories.
You haven't been here long enough to form any memories.
I'm talking about the hurt from my brother stabbing me in the back.
Oh (LAUGHS) Got a corkscrew? Nope.
That was a grand gesture wasted.
Wasn't that grand to begin with.
We came here as kids.
Christmas carols.
So why are you leaving? Does it matter? Aren't I fulfilling expectations? Well, yeah.
But why now? Don't know Some bloke wrote something about us being a blight on his town.
No, you're just using me as an excurse.
You did say some pretty hurtful things.
About the business, not the food.
You only care about the food so cut the crap.
You're not leaving here because of me.
OK, fair enough.
But you did provide a magnificent excuse.
So why then? New opportunities.
There's this Saudi prince and he's mad for my food.
Wants me to give him Michelin Stars, money's no object.
So for the next six months, while he's fitting out his restaurant in Dubai, I'll be living in his palace in Saudi Arabia.
Just working up the menu.
You? In Saudi Arabia? Yeah.
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
Gonna have to calm down my wicked, wicked ways, I reckon.
And seriously, man, the money's insane.
I thought you were all about the food.
Yeah, I am, but with money like that, it gives me the opportunity to experiment.
And that's a hard deal to turn down.
You should come with me.
You'd love Bruce.
Who the hell's Bruce? The Saudi prince guy.
His name's Bruce? No, no, he's a Monty Python fan.
You know the sketch where they're all Aussies, they call each other Bruce? Yeah.
Well, he calls me Bruce, I call him Bruce.
He loves it.
Well, you do live an interesting life, I'll say that much.
So how come you haven't told Hannah all this? Yeah, I will.
I'm just working up to it.
Just waiting for everything to fall into place.
And you're scared.
Oh, Hannah? For sure.
But you know, Saudi Arabia's not a great place for women, especially someone like Hannah.
You know, stroppy and all that.
Yes, lucky for you.
What do you mean? Well, to have such a handy excuse.
It'll make breaking her heart so much easier.
Hannah's tough, she'll be cool.
She thinks she's engaged to you.
Oh, come on, man, we were so wasted at the time, and the ring's made out of one of those champagne wire things.
I think she gets that it wasn't entirely serious.
What?! You are such an arse.
She's in love with you.
She deserves a whole lot better than this.
So you've got a thing for her too now, do you? Ow! Can you stop doing that?! You think this is easy for me? I really dig her.
I really do.
And if I could take her with me, I would, but it just wouldn't work.
Besides, she deserves someone better than me.
Yes, she does.
You need to tell her all of this.
I will.
Now.
We do it now.
Let's just find a corkscrew first.
That was that was a very expensive bottle of wine.
Oh, I was wondering if you were gonna show up eventually.
You're still angry at me.
But why? Because I spent this morning talking to the police? And what did you tell the police? The truth.
Which is? That I have no idea what the truth is.
I don't know who was more confused.
So the painting was on loan? Something like that.
From the artist? Definitely from the artist.
So in effect, the painting though it was stolen from the restaurant was stolen from Dennis the artist? You could say that.
And what value would you put on this painting? I'd put no value on it.
Wasn't it very good? No, I just I wouldn't put any value on it.
OK but would Dennis? He he wouldn't even remember doing it.
I'm glad we don't get a lot of art theft around here.
I am so, so sorry, Katie.
You should be.
If it helps, the painting has been No, I don't wanna know about the painting because if I know something, then I'll have to lie about it.
And I can't stand the lying.
Then don't lie.
If Constable Tom asks, tell him it was me.
Tell him that my dad was right, that this town has gone to the dogs.
Morally speaking.
I have him the opportunity to save his job by undoing what he's done.
I don't think George is motivated by threats.
Oh, it's not a threat.
It's an opportunity to put things right.
Not really.
And firing George is not a smart move.
You need him.
Every tin-pot dictator needs a conscience on the payroll.
(LAUGHS) Tin-pot dictator is it? But in a good way.
Mac! Found these two skulking around outside.
We weren't skulking.
Looks pretty much like skulking to me.
We were formulating a strategy? One that ignores the bit where I told you to leave me alone.
We were having a talk last night, me and Stevo.
Stevo? Yeah, we both feel that you need to know that we're here for you.
Long term.
That's your strategy? To wait me out? Pretty much.
We just wanna help.
Help by going home.
Get marriage counselling.
But I love you.
And I want my kids to have a father.
OK, you guys need to leave now.
(GUN FIRES) Yeah, you need to leave.
Yeah, fair enough.
But dads have rights too, you know? Sorry, Dad.
It is looking really nasty out there.
Where are you going? Hannah, when I say it looks nasty, I mean, like, it's not worth dying for nasty.
Don't care.
Hey, Hannah, it looks dangerous.
Don't be an idiot.
Well, I am an idiot, Woody, so shouldn't I die an idiotic death? What?! Don't be stupid.
OK.
I'm stupid and an idiot.
Yep, that sounds about right.
Hey, hey, no.
You're not! Yes, I am! I let him in.
I let him get to me.
I believed his crap! Stupid.
And today of all days.
Look, it's OK.
Alright? It's alright, mate.
It's alright.
You know what I don't get, mate? No, Robbie.
What don't you get? What is this guy's problem? George fucking Turner.
I think he laid his problems out quite succinctly in the article.
That the restaurant didn't fit with the social milieu of Weld.
Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, mate.
I reckon he just hates me.
Oh, so you do know what his problem is then.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Don't be a drongo, Monty.
Montgomery McNamara speaking.
Come back to the office.
Now.
Roger.
10-4, Big Daddy.
Travelling.
Don't ever call me Big Daddy again.
Got it.
As much as I'd love to sit here and listen to you abuse my logic, I've gotta go.
You can eat that.
I don't want your leftovers, mate.
Just my pity.
Um, duty calls.
Put it on my tab? Alright.
How come he hates me? Who? Monty? No, your boyfriend.
I don't have a boyfriend.
Well, you know who I mean.
I thought what George wrote was fair comment.
I just wanted to do something great for this town, make up for last time.
I'm sure you'll get another shot.
Big Mac will make sure of that.
You have no idea how much I want a drink right now.
What have you got? You're not getting it from me.
Oh, thank you.
For what? For caring about me.
Uh, don't mistake that for caring.
Hey, man.
Hey, bro.
Aren't you supposed to be at school? Oh, my dad, with the restaurant shutting down, figured there was no reason for me to go anymore.
It was shut down? Yeah.
It's cool.
It gives me more time to spend with Shay.
It's not a problem, is it? It's my understanding that you and Shay broke up? Certainly not together.
Yeah.
That was my understanding.
Me and Shay just have this connection, you know? We have history now.
You know you don't have to help me do this, right? Yeah, but I do owe you big time.
(PHONE RINGS) And I have nothing else to do.
Apart from the half-finished wall at the Super Store.
Hello? My painting is missing.
Rae.
Where is it? I have no idea, I'm afraid.
Didn't pay anything, cow, so it was never yours.
That place down by the water The boat club? Meet me there.
She wants to meet me.
She has nothing over you.
Tell her to bugger off.
Hey, sorry, um Interrupting? Yes.
No, it's OK.
I've gotta go anyway.
Sorry.
Doesn't matter.
Why are you here? You and Ollie.
What about him? You and him.
OK, let me start by saying who I'm with has nothing to do with you.
Oh, so you are with him.
No.
Well, does he know that? Look, 'cause the thing is, he Ollie's a great guy until he's not.
Which means what? Which means you need to be really clear about where you stand.
He knows what it is.
Does he? I'm not getting back with you, Ike.
This has nothing to do with that.
If I wanna go out with other guys, that's my choice.
Yep, and I'm not gonna stop you.
Just wanted to give you a heads up.
So, yeah, that's all.
Could just grab my stuff and leave a note.
Yeah, good point.
You'd have to write it.
'Cause you're better at that kind of thing.
You're still here.
Yeah.
Oh, sort of.
Do you want us to go so you No.
Stay.
I'm into everybody hearing stuff at the same time.
OK, look, I was gonna tell you first.
But you fell back asleep and I thought I'd shoot off and tell the other guys, then one thing led to another.
(WHISPERS) Oh, dear What?! That's how it happened.
Is he always this stupid when he's dumping someone? The bar's being reset to a new low.
Who said anything about dumping? You're leaving, right? Well, yeah.
And I'm not coming with, right? No, but there's a very good reason for that.
You know, Saudi Arabia's not the greatest place for a woman Saudi Arabia? Yeah.
That's where you're going? Look I made it out.
And I don't think that you should come with me.
I don't think it's a good idea.
And are you coming back? Well, not for the foreseeable future, no.
So Where in all this am I not being dumped? Look, I thought that maybe at some stage, you might like to come and join me, you know, somewhere that's not Saudi Arabia.
At some point.
So I'm just supposed to sit around until you maybe call or not? No, I'm cool if you wanna do whatever you want.
Oh, for God's sake! What?! I'm just I'm just trying to tell it how it is.
So are we still engaged or not? Yeah.
You know, if you wanna be.
George, your brother is a dick, mate.
Well, if it means that much to you .
.
why did you ask me to marry you? 'Cause it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Because you're fun, you're sexy and I like you.
You are everything that I love in a woman.
What do you love about THIS woman? What is it about me? What makes me different? Well, it's because of how different you are that I have to leave.
Alone.
And I'm sorry.
I'm sure you are, in this moment.
But then again, you're one of those blokes who lives moment to moment so you're sorry right now, but in 10 minutes, you'll be right as rain.
No, no, no, that's not Don't even think about arguing.
Yeah, she's got you sussed, mate.
I am truly sorry.
Get your stuff .
.
and get the hell out of my life.
And, you know, I'm gonna keep the ring as a reminded never to be so stupid! I apologise on behalf of my entire family.
Yeah, and me.
On behalf of blokes everywhere.
That went better than I expected.
Hey, is Woody here? Should he be? According to his message.
Some kind of emotional emergency? Maybe he meant the brotherhood of rejected fathers here.
I'm pretty sure he didn't.
Drink until he shows up? If I say yes, it's not because my job has driven me to it.
You need to come with me.
Why? Because if you don't, I will hunt you down and destroy you.
I'm busy.
Hey, someone's put an offer on your wedding house.
Why didn't you just say that? Dad wanted me to inject some intrigue into it.
Real estate is generally very dull.
You're in charge till I get back.
But I'm in charge al day.
Just five minutes, please? So I hear William's taking in waifs and strays.
The pregnant woman in the house? Oh, Jan.
Mmm.
She needed somewhere to stay.
So I heard.
I'm sure there's nothing going on between then.
It wouldn't matter if there was.
So my painting's gone then? Yes.
Any chance there's another lying around? No.
And I should point out that no actual money has changed hands.
So? So if you're looking to Threaten you? (LAUGHS) Why would I do that? Katie, I want to go into business with you.
WOODY: Come on.
Can't I just stay at home and be miserable? No, because you know how the saying goes, Hannah, right? Misery needs company.
I don't think that's how the saying goes.
Well, it is now.
Hey, is everything OK? You sounded really stressed on the phone.
No, not me.
Hannah's had the worst day ever.
First, where she works shuts down, and then she got dumped because George's bro decided he wanted to move on.
What?! How can he do that? Pretty easily, actually.
What a bastard.
I figured Hannah could use some company of the feminine variety.
Good call.
Yeah, I'll leave youse to it, eh? You don't wanna stay? We've done our bonding for the day, eh? More than enough bonding, thank you.
Put it there.
Not! Hoo-hoo-hoo! See you at home.
You got a good man there.
You know, it makes sense now that I've had a chance to take it all in.
What makes sense? This house.
Finding it by accident IS the only logical explanation.
OK, I've played along long enough.
The truth.
Tell me.
There is no Bruce.
There is no Saudi Arabia.
But there might be.
One day.
It's a pretty good story, though, eh? I think it helped minimise the hurt.
Which is the only reason I let you spin it.
Alright, the truth, George the truth is that this place isn't me.
I honestly thought it was when I got here, but (SIGHS) .
.
it just makes me so tired.
All this quiet.
All this beauty.
You don't think it's your lifestyle that's making you tired? Probably doesn't help.
I just need a big noisy city around me.
You know, that's what makes me feel alive.
Why don't you take Hannah? She'd love the big city.
For a little while, till she finds me in bed with some bird.
I know who I am, George.
And Hannah's too good for that.
That is undoubtedly true.
So I'll I'll get out of your hair tomorrow.
Leaving everyone with the impression that it was me who drove you away.
So there is an upside to it all.
(LAUGHS) Look, the least I can do is cook you all dinner before I go.
No, the least you could do is rewind time so you never showed up here.
That's a bit harsh.
Have you forgotten how already? Yeah, but you see, Hannah's a lovely person and you're just consumed by bitterness.
Excuse me? Because you know that I've always been a better cook than you.
Ha.
Never.
I got the resume to prove it.
That means nothing in my house.
Because in your house, you've never given me the chance to prove you wrong.
Oh.
You want the chance, do you? I think you'll find the offer's well above the asking price.
Sign of a master agent at work.
I still can't believe you spoilt the surprise.
Get over it, Dad.
I've given away everything else in my life.
Why not the house, eh? Don't be like that.
I'm not being like anything, Fi.
Jest telling it how it is.
You know that's always been my style.
Good work, Monty.
Nice one.
Imagine how happy he'll be when he signs the divorce papers.
Do you want me to smack him? 'Cause I will.
If anyone's gonna smack him, it'll be me.
Did you? Smack him? Mmm.
I came this close.
Restraint.
By your standards.
Yeah.
I was thinking about it and I realised it's usually me, the one doing the walking.
Well, that's some good growing up right there.
It doesn't mean it's too late for me to smack someone.
On that note, let's go and catch some dinner.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm sorry to hear about your bloke.
Such a great chef.
Bit of a knob, though.
Kia kaha.
Nothing else you wanna say to me? We'll bring you back some fish? Yeah.
That'll be great.
Thanks.
I take it we have a guest.
Terry.
Just for the night.
Right, so when he gave the restaurant the flick, Hannah went the same way? While, in essence, that is what happened, at least this time, he made his peace.
What, with Hannah? Well, a kind of peace.
And he's here? He's in the shower.
We're all going out to dinner.
We are? Yep.
And dress nicely.
Nicely by Weld standards or real-world standards? They're one and the same.
Not anymore, thanks to you.
Got that? They're hard work, aren't they? What are? Women.
I mean, reading their minds.
Trying to figure out what they're thinking.
Give me a bloke in a suit any day.
Them, I can read like books.
Oh, bugger.
What? I just realised what Hannah meant.
Oh, are you in trouble again? No more than usual.
Come on, Stevo.
Sit there.
You can drive.
Yep.
Come on, boy.
Have you ever caught yourself some wahine before? Wahine? Is that a type of fish? (BOTH LAUGH) What sort of bait do you need for that? Is this a Turner brother thing? Did George have this effect on you? Um, well and I haven't officially broken up so the question doesn't really You look pretty broken up to me.
Well, we're taking a break.
To think about things.
I'm so sorry.
What for? You and George were really good together, I thought.
Yeah, me too.
Are you even allowed in this conversation? You with your perfect bloke.
What? Woody from Planet Infuriating? OK, well, maybe not entirely perfect.
But he loves you.
That's more than any of us can managed.
Excuse me.
Hey, can I have a word? Yes, you can.
No, Rae's not going to the police.
(SIGHS) Cool.
No, not cool.
Because Rae wants us to continue to produce Dennis masterpieces to sell at this gallery a friend of hers owns.
OK.
No, not OK.
And no gonna happen.
Because I told her, and I'm telling you now, that if she wants Dennis to paint her a painting, then she can ask him herself.
Because as of today, I don't represent him.
But you can't dump Dennis.
He's the only artist who makes you any money.
I am well aware of that, Shay.
But there are things in my life that are more important than money.
Like being able to sleep at night.
I'm sorry.
It's all my fault.
I kind of got carried away.
It's understandable.
You're young, you should get fired up about stuff.
Just not this.
Not in the mood, Ollie.
It's the future.
Get used to it.
Not my future.
All of our futures.
Hey, do you wanna do something tonight? I'm suddenly not working.
Uh, not tonight.
Why not? I just I just can't.
OK, how about tomorrow? I don't know.
I'll text you.
Will you? Sometimes people say they will and never do.
Look, Ollie, I just had a really bad day, OK? What, with the painting thing? Mainly, yeah.
But we solved that.
You and me when we broke in and stole it.
Reclaimed it.
Shay, all I'm saying is we have a bond now.
You and me.
We need to respect that bond.
I have to go.
But you'll text me, right? Mm-hm.
You need to get dressed for dinner.
Something nice.
And why? Terry's leaving town.
But there's a score that needs to be settled first.
And this involves dressing up, why? Because it's that kind of place.
The whole painting thing - it's sorted, by the way.
Is Katie OK? Yeah.
She's alright.
It was all me.
All my fault.
I'm sorry.
Good.
Go get dressed.
SONG: I got scared in the middle of the night Soft the name right in my head GEORGE: "The act of sharing food is one of the fundamental things about being human.
We break bread together.
Sometimes, we do this out of love" Hey.
Hope you're hungry.
".
.
and sometimes, we do this out of duty, to keep the social order intact and in the correct order.
" Shouldn't we wait for Robbie? Robbie can eat when he gets here.
Who needs a fancy restaurant when Dad's cooking, hey? Thank you, Monty.
I think.
"Sometimes, food is sustenance, the fuel that accompanies and energises a task that must be completed" I found this one out back.
Bin it.
I think it's an actual Dennis.
Doesn't matter.
Everything to do with him and his paintings gone.
Mum.
Yes, sweetheart? Isn't Dennis the only thing here that makes us any money? Oh, we'll be fine.
Don't you worry about that.
Can we light sparklers on the bonfire? We would be mad not to.
".
.
or food is a peace offering, a way of celebrating a truce.
" Or of sorting out old differences.
So the place is booked solid.
You're lucky I could squeeze you in.
So we see.
You two make yourself at home.
We'll be right back.
Well, you need a hand? Not tonight, mate.
"It always struck me as odd that dining with others is a social norm, given that, sometimes, the actual act of eating" Is not the prettiest thing we humans can do.
Dad, you eat like a pig.
It's the way I was brought up.
Mum used to call dinnertime 'trough time'.
SIOUXSIE: Watching Grandma Norma hoover up the turkey every Christmas, most terrifying thing I've ever seen.
Is that from Lindsay? So, what's the deal with her? She's alright.
OK, you were all, like, cut up after Emma dumped you.
No, I wasn't.
Course you were trying to be cool like Uncle Terry.
No.
So I forgave your lapse of taste.
But enough's enough, Arlo.
You're way better than her.
Oh, well, how are things with Ike then? Oh, that's right, you're with your No.
1 fan now.
You know how everyone thought you were nuts for bringing the kids here? Well, not everyone.
Well, yeah, they did.
They were wrong.
So Weld is good enough for me, but not for you.
I'm the free-range Turner.
(LAUGHS) "Food can also provide comfort, solace, be the fuel that keeps us going, to face another day.
" If you want me to work tonight, too bad, I'm busy.
Happy birthday.
You thought I'd forgotten, didn't you? You wouldn't be the only one.
OK, well, I did, but then I remembered, which is the main thing.
Thanks.
Not the greatest birthday, I guess.
I've had worse.
Actually, no.
No, I haven't.
I can come over if you need me to.
Nah.
I'm alright.
I'm just sitting here, thinking about life and where to from here.
And? And I think I wanna be a cop.
I'm serious.
I'd make a great cop.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) I am sure you would.
Hey, I've got someone at the door.
I have to go.
A tall, dark, handsome stranger? Yeah, I wish.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Yeah.
And thanks.
Hey, man! Are you drunk? Do you know what you find at the bottom of a bottle? It's something a little bit like happiness.
Not quite happiness.
A little bit like it, though.
Can I come in? Like I've got a choice.
"Food and the act of eating can be anything you want them or need them to be.
Way more than just a meal.
" Food can even be war.
The first dish our mother ever taught us was macaroni cheese.
And ever since, the disputed have raged.
So tonight, we sort it out.
And you're gonna be the judges.
Without bias.
Whilst also remembering that your Uncle Terry is a world-class chef.
Not some hack in a kitchen.
Ignore him.
We need to know, once and for all, whose is the best macaroni cheese in the world.
Oh, in the world? Yes, Arlo, the world.
So taste away.
And remember that family honour is at stake here.
No pressure then? (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Constable Tom.
George.
Is Shay there with you? Yes, she's here with me.
If it's about the painting thing, tell him it's all sorted.
She says the painting thing's all sorted.
It's not about the stupid painting.
Is Ike with her? No.
Why? "Of course, there is a school of thought that says food is only food.
And after the meal is consumed and the dishes done, the realities of life" Come crashing back in.
Do we have to do the dishes too? Yes, you do, Lindsay.
Well, that was a lovely meal.
Thank you.
My pleasure.
And may I say, it's been made much more pleasurable by having you here.
You coming into my world like this, Jan, it's been, um Well, the point is, um.
If you wanted to make this your home .
.
to share it with me .
.
you'd make me the happiest man on the planet.
Sorry, um, way out of line.
Sorry, beg you pardon.
No, no, no.
It's not that, that was lovely, it's just, um.
I think my waters have broken.
Oh, Oh! Monty? Get the car.
Well, don't just stand there.
You know you're breaking the terms of your parole.
Yeah I know.
And driving here as well? What the hell is going on in your head? Well, the thing is Fi, signing away the house today I realised I can't go on without you.
Oh, Robbie, please don't do this again.
No, please hear me out.
You're the best thing to ever happen in my life.
And I wanna undo everything that went wrong.
And kids, Fi.
I really want us to have kids.
What we used to talk about back in the day, remember? When it was good.
So, what do you say? That was so good.
Oh, Good.
Thank you.
I'll wash up.
You really are as close to perfect as a guy can get aren't you? (SCOFFS) Yeah, I wish.
But, look, it's definitely something to aspire to.
See, right there, perfect answer.
Will you marry me? Isn't that generally the bloke that gets to ask that question? And you're a traditional sort of bloke are you? Okay, alright.
Tracey Dennis .
.
what would you say if I said will you marry me? Well, Jeff Woodson I would say Yeah? .
.
are you serious? Yeah.
Well then, I would also say yes.
Did we actually just do this? Yeah, I think we did.
(LAUGHS) This calls for champagne! Yes.
I've gotta call my Mum! Call Mum.
Yes! (LAUGHS) Somewhere deep inside, Something's got a hold on you Idiot.
Idiot.
And it's pushing me aside See it stretch on forever And I know I'm right For the first time in my life The pause to enjoy good food and good company.
Is one of life's great universal pleasures.
The simple act of a shared meal is what keeps us going, keeps us moving forward.
You'd better be home soon Gives us the strength to deal with whatever life throws at us next.
Stripping back the coats Of lies and deception Tom? We weren't sure, if we were looking for two people or three.
We found the boat.
It's Zac's boat.
And I know I'm right Ike.
Shay.
Shay, Shay, Shay.
For the first time in my life It's going to be okay.
That's why I tell you You'd better be home soon That's why I tell you You better be home soon.
What am I meant to say when people ask about us? Say, "Yeah, we're over.
" Now I'm apparently some sort of criminal genius.
You get rid of the painting and all your problems go up in smoke.
Hannah, will you marry me? Wow.
I'm looking for someone.
Her name's Jan.
Magazine Jan? Australian woman.
Very pregnant with my twins.
I think you'll find they're my twins, mate.
Third leg in the daddy trifecta.
Twins, George.
Terry, I'm gonna write an article about this place and you're not gonna like it.
(LAUGHS) We eat we consume food as fuel.
We never really stop to consider that the basic act of eating can have huge social meaning.
I thought you didn't read that propaganda sheet.
I'm making an exception, Billy.
Oh, morning, ladies.
Hey, g'day, Billy.
What, is there something important in the paper? George doesn't think we should have his restaurant here.
Never mind some of us are passing NCEA because of it.
Give us a look.
Ouch.
That's not gonna do much for brotherly love, is it? What complete and utter tosh! Anyone can eat in my restaurant.
If you don't mind taking out a second mortgage.
We're barely covering costs.
Exactly.
Good point.
You know what really hurts? The bill at the end of the meal? That he should publish this rubbish in my newspaper.
McNamara.
He's some sort of food socialist.
That's good! Can I tweet that? Sorry, Jared, what's gone missing? GEORGE: (COMPOSING) "Driving all this is the cult of the celebrity chef, the god of the kitchen, to whom the foodies bow and scrape and heap money upon.
And that isn't my version of what food should be.
Or how it should be eaten.
" Not in my little town.
2x16 Some of the people that eat at the restaurant are actually quite nice.
How would you know? You're in the kitchen.
Sometimes they come in to get a photo with Uncle Terry.
Rich pretentious snobs, who think money buys them whatever they want.
Well, isn't that the point of money? And the food is really worth it.
If it were in Sydney, it would be.
What does it matter where it is? It's about what you expect from your community.
I expect Terry to ply his trade in Sydney, so there I'll pay his prices.
Except he lets us eat for free.
Here, it just doesn't fit with the vibe, you know? Weld has a vibe? Of course it does.
It used to be one thing and now it's something else.
Something not as nice.
Thanks to the invasion of pretentious foodies to grovel and have their pictures taken with the great chef Terry.
Yeah, who is gonna be really ticked off when he reads this.
No, I was nice about his food.
If I'd been mean about his cooking, then he'd be angry.
Good morning.
Morning.
My brother is questioning our right to exist.
What, you didn't lock up last night? No, Ollie did.
Right, off you go.
And no alarms when off in the night? No, and this is a very valuable painting we're talking about here.
And as such, it hasn't been sent away for cleaning, say? Why would I do that? Maybe it got food on it.
How would it get food on it, mate? I don't know what people do in here.
I can't afford to eat in here.
Maybe people throw food around, for all I know.
No.
The painting was here last night and it's gone today.
Art theft.
Quite exotic for Weld.
I'll round up the usual suspects.
Hey, what's going on? You guys are in early.
What? You stirred up a hornet's nest.
Did I, Gloria? Well, the phone's rung a few times, which is fairly intense for Weld standards, and your Twitter's going off.
Admittedly, it's mainly Bill Jr in his various guises, expressing his disgust.
It's hilarious.
He can't help but use plumbing metaphors.
"Should we really flush this fine establishment down the dunny?" Genius.
Morning, Bill.
Gloria.
Can George and I have the room for a minute, please? Your room.
You can do what you like.
Yes, it is.
Yes, I can.
Magnificently written article, posing some interesting questions about the nature of our town.
That was the intention.
Course I'm gonna have to fire you because of it.
If I can't say how I feel, I'm not sure I want the job.
Oh, I'm not firing you because of your beautiful words, George, I'm firing you because you're costing me money.
Because people are cancelling their newspaper subscriptions? Because as of today, the restaurant is closed.
Because of the article? You are the boy who cried wolf.
And when it didn't happen, lo, you made it so.
Your brother's walked, taking his crew with him.
Over what I wrote? You did question their right to exist, George.
Clearly, Terry has taken it very personally.
Have you spoken to Terry? No, he's not answering his phone.
Well, then how do you know he walked? Robbie found his crew packing up.
They said they don't stay where they're not wanted.
Big Mac, if Terry has cut and run, it has nothing to do with my story, the story he knew I was writing.
You suggested his restaurant was an elitist blight on Weld.
No, I suggested you're restaurant was an elitist blight.
You don't really know my brother, do you? He's a cook, who shakes hands with devils like you so he gets to cook what he wants.
If I'd criticised his roasted duck breast, then, yes, he'd toss his handbag and walk.
But I didn't.
I praised his food to the rooftops.
So no, Terry did not walk because I had a crack at your restaurant.
If not that, then why? I don't exactly know.
The fact remains that he's walked.
And I would like you to find him, find out why and stop him.
And then maybe you can keep your job.
It's cool, Shay.
Don't worry.
Ollie, the police are involved now.
(LAUGHS) Constable Tom? I mean, it's not exactly like the FBI are coming after us, is it? You have no idea if the painting was there when you locked up? No.
It's a rather large painting on the wall.
Bit hard to miss.
I wasn't looking at the wall, I was looking the other way so The other way? Yeah, like, away from the wall.
Relax.
Everything's sweet.
Hello? Hannah? It's George.
Hey, George.
Terry here? Uh, nuh.
Any idea where he is? No.
Have you tried calling him? He's not answering.
Well, maybe he's unhappy about what you wrote.
So he's read it then? Yep.
Did he seem unhappy? Oh, I don't think he really cared, actually.
In fact, I'd say he thought it was funny.
Did he say where he was going? No, but he normally gets up early to get stuff for the restaurant.
Oh.
What? Nothing, it's just Nothing, just what? Just I think you really need to talk to him, Hannah.
Or at least he needs to talk to you.
I'm sorry.
What for? Interrupting.
I'll leave you to it.
(PHONE DIALS, MESSAGE BANK BEEPS) Look, I don't really care if you wanna ignore me.
But don't you dare treat Hannah like this.
Alright, everyone, Mr Turner would like to talk to those working at the restaurant.
I won't keep you too long from your studies or whatever.
I just want to talk to the numpty crew.
So unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond my control, the restaurant is now officially closed as of today.
But I did wanna stop by and thank you all for doing such an amazing job.
I'll make sure there's a little something extra for you when Robbie sorts out the last pay.
And if anyone needs a reference, you can contact me.
Yes, Jared? What about our credits? I is that a school thing? NCEA.
I don't know anything about that, mate.
The work that you've done will count towards your internal assessments.
Or you can do what I did - just get outta here as quick as you can, get into the real world.
(CLEARS THROAT) But staying in school is cool too.
Uncle Terry.
Hey, mate.
These circumstances, is that Dad and what he wrote? No, it's a bigger picture.
Which is? Your dad well, he's right.
He's usually right when it comes to me.
That doesn't answer the question.
Arlo, give me a break Are you leaving 'cause of my dad? You've got other things to worry about.
Like what are you gonna do with you life? And don't you listen to your old man on that one because you could be a star in the kitchen.
And he's only gonna try and talk you out of it.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS) Yeah, so I don't end up like you.
Which will never happen.
Because you, Arlo Turner, are your own man.
I thought you were off the booze.
Just keeping the stock safe so certain buggers don't take any for themselves.
You've got a dim view of society.
I got a dim view of you, mate.
You're welcome to write a reply.
What's the point? Ship's already sunk, my friend, and you're the iceberg.
In fact, I should probably call the cops, get you done for trespassing.
Get your hand off it, Robbie.
George is welcome here any time of the day or night so you be nice to him.
In return, I promise not to tell your dad about you skimming the profits.
He shouldn't have bailed just 'cause of what he wrote.
It's not that simple, Robbie.
Literally the closest thing I've ever seen to a rat in a sinking ship.
(LAUGHS) So I'm guessing you wanna talk.
You think so? Yeah.
Not here.
Too many bad memories.
You haven't been here long enough to form any memories.
I'm talking about the hurt from my brother stabbing me in the back.
Oh (LAUGHS) Got a corkscrew? Nope.
That was a grand gesture wasted.
Wasn't that grand to begin with.
We came here as kids.
Christmas carols.
So why are you leaving? Does it matter? Aren't I fulfilling expectations? Well, yeah.
But why now? Don't know Some bloke wrote something about us being a blight on his town.
No, you're just using me as an excurse.
You did say some pretty hurtful things.
About the business, not the food.
You only care about the food so cut the crap.
You're not leaving here because of me.
OK, fair enough.
But you did provide a magnificent excuse.
So why then? New opportunities.
There's this Saudi prince and he's mad for my food.
Wants me to give him Michelin Stars, money's no object.
So for the next six months, while he's fitting out his restaurant in Dubai, I'll be living in his palace in Saudi Arabia.
Just working up the menu.
You? In Saudi Arabia? Yeah.
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
Gonna have to calm down my wicked, wicked ways, I reckon.
And seriously, man, the money's insane.
I thought you were all about the food.
Yeah, I am, but with money like that, it gives me the opportunity to experiment.
And that's a hard deal to turn down.
You should come with me.
You'd love Bruce.
Who the hell's Bruce? The Saudi prince guy.
His name's Bruce? No, no, he's a Monty Python fan.
You know the sketch where they're all Aussies, they call each other Bruce? Yeah.
Well, he calls me Bruce, I call him Bruce.
He loves it.
Well, you do live an interesting life, I'll say that much.
So how come you haven't told Hannah all this? Yeah, I will.
I'm just working up to it.
Just waiting for everything to fall into place.
And you're scared.
Oh, Hannah? For sure.
But you know, Saudi Arabia's not a great place for women, especially someone like Hannah.
You know, stroppy and all that.
Yes, lucky for you.
What do you mean? Well, to have such a handy excuse.
It'll make breaking her heart so much easier.
Hannah's tough, she'll be cool.
She thinks she's engaged to you.
Oh, come on, man, we were so wasted at the time, and the ring's made out of one of those champagne wire things.
I think she gets that it wasn't entirely serious.
What?! You are such an arse.
She's in love with you.
She deserves a whole lot better than this.
So you've got a thing for her too now, do you? Ow! Can you stop doing that?! You think this is easy for me? I really dig her.
I really do.
And if I could take her with me, I would, but it just wouldn't work.
Besides, she deserves someone better than me.
Yes, she does.
You need to tell her all of this.
I will.
Now.
We do it now.
Let's just find a corkscrew first.
That was that was a very expensive bottle of wine.
Oh, I was wondering if you were gonna show up eventually.
You're still angry at me.
But why? Because I spent this morning talking to the police? And what did you tell the police? The truth.
Which is? That I have no idea what the truth is.
I don't know who was more confused.
So the painting was on loan? Something like that.
From the artist? Definitely from the artist.
So in effect, the painting though it was stolen from the restaurant was stolen from Dennis the artist? You could say that.
And what value would you put on this painting? I'd put no value on it.
Wasn't it very good? No, I just I wouldn't put any value on it.
OK but would Dennis? He he wouldn't even remember doing it.
I'm glad we don't get a lot of art theft around here.
I am so, so sorry, Katie.
You should be.
If it helps, the painting has been No, I don't wanna know about the painting because if I know something, then I'll have to lie about it.
And I can't stand the lying.
Then don't lie.
If Constable Tom asks, tell him it was me.
Tell him that my dad was right, that this town has gone to the dogs.
Morally speaking.
I have him the opportunity to save his job by undoing what he's done.
I don't think George is motivated by threats.
Oh, it's not a threat.
It's an opportunity to put things right.
Not really.
And firing George is not a smart move.
You need him.
Every tin-pot dictator needs a conscience on the payroll.
(LAUGHS) Tin-pot dictator is it? But in a good way.
Mac! Found these two skulking around outside.
We weren't skulking.
Looks pretty much like skulking to me.
We were formulating a strategy? One that ignores the bit where I told you to leave me alone.
We were having a talk last night, me and Stevo.
Stevo? Yeah, we both feel that you need to know that we're here for you.
Long term.
That's your strategy? To wait me out? Pretty much.
We just wanna help.
Help by going home.
Get marriage counselling.
But I love you.
And I want my kids to have a father.
OK, you guys need to leave now.
(GUN FIRES) Yeah, you need to leave.
Yeah, fair enough.
But dads have rights too, you know? Sorry, Dad.
It is looking really nasty out there.
Where are you going? Hannah, when I say it looks nasty, I mean, like, it's not worth dying for nasty.
Don't care.
Hey, Hannah, it looks dangerous.
Don't be an idiot.
Well, I am an idiot, Woody, so shouldn't I die an idiotic death? What?! Don't be stupid.
OK.
I'm stupid and an idiot.
Yep, that sounds about right.
Hey, hey, no.
You're not! Yes, I am! I let him in.
I let him get to me.
I believed his crap! Stupid.
And today of all days.
Look, it's OK.
Alright? It's alright, mate.
It's alright.
You know what I don't get, mate? No, Robbie.
What don't you get? What is this guy's problem? George fucking Turner.
I think he laid his problems out quite succinctly in the article.
That the restaurant didn't fit with the social milieu of Weld.
Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, mate.
I reckon he just hates me.
Oh, so you do know what his problem is then.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Don't be a drongo, Monty.
Montgomery McNamara speaking.
Come back to the office.
Now.
Roger.
10-4, Big Daddy.
Travelling.
Don't ever call me Big Daddy again.
Got it.
As much as I'd love to sit here and listen to you abuse my logic, I've gotta go.
You can eat that.
I don't want your leftovers, mate.
Just my pity.
Um, duty calls.
Put it on my tab? Alright.
How come he hates me? Who? Monty? No, your boyfriend.
I don't have a boyfriend.
Well, you know who I mean.
I thought what George wrote was fair comment.
I just wanted to do something great for this town, make up for last time.
I'm sure you'll get another shot.
Big Mac will make sure of that.
You have no idea how much I want a drink right now.
What have you got? You're not getting it from me.
Oh, thank you.
For what? For caring about me.
Uh, don't mistake that for caring.
Hey, man.
Hey, bro.
Aren't you supposed to be at school? Oh, my dad, with the restaurant shutting down, figured there was no reason for me to go anymore.
It was shut down? Yeah.
It's cool.
It gives me more time to spend with Shay.
It's not a problem, is it? It's my understanding that you and Shay broke up? Certainly not together.
Yeah.
That was my understanding.
Me and Shay just have this connection, you know? We have history now.
You know you don't have to help me do this, right? Yeah, but I do owe you big time.
(PHONE RINGS) And I have nothing else to do.
Apart from the half-finished wall at the Super Store.
Hello? My painting is missing.
Rae.
Where is it? I have no idea, I'm afraid.
Didn't pay anything, cow, so it was never yours.
That place down by the water The boat club? Meet me there.
She wants to meet me.
She has nothing over you.
Tell her to bugger off.
Hey, sorry, um Interrupting? Yes.
No, it's OK.
I've gotta go anyway.
Sorry.
Doesn't matter.
Why are you here? You and Ollie.
What about him? You and him.
OK, let me start by saying who I'm with has nothing to do with you.
Oh, so you are with him.
No.
Well, does he know that? Look, 'cause the thing is, he Ollie's a great guy until he's not.
Which means what? Which means you need to be really clear about where you stand.
He knows what it is.
Does he? I'm not getting back with you, Ike.
This has nothing to do with that.
If I wanna go out with other guys, that's my choice.
Yep, and I'm not gonna stop you.
Just wanted to give you a heads up.
So, yeah, that's all.
Could just grab my stuff and leave a note.
Yeah, good point.
You'd have to write it.
'Cause you're better at that kind of thing.
You're still here.
Yeah.
Oh, sort of.
Do you want us to go so you No.
Stay.
I'm into everybody hearing stuff at the same time.
OK, look, I was gonna tell you first.
But you fell back asleep and I thought I'd shoot off and tell the other guys, then one thing led to another.
(WHISPERS) Oh, dear What?! That's how it happened.
Is he always this stupid when he's dumping someone? The bar's being reset to a new low.
Who said anything about dumping? You're leaving, right? Well, yeah.
And I'm not coming with, right? No, but there's a very good reason for that.
You know, Saudi Arabia's not the greatest place for a woman Saudi Arabia? Yeah.
That's where you're going? Look I made it out.
And I don't think that you should come with me.
I don't think it's a good idea.
And are you coming back? Well, not for the foreseeable future, no.
So Where in all this am I not being dumped? Look, I thought that maybe at some stage, you might like to come and join me, you know, somewhere that's not Saudi Arabia.
At some point.
So I'm just supposed to sit around until you maybe call or not? No, I'm cool if you wanna do whatever you want.
Oh, for God's sake! What?! I'm just I'm just trying to tell it how it is.
So are we still engaged or not? Yeah.
You know, if you wanna be.
George, your brother is a dick, mate.
Well, if it means that much to you .
.
why did you ask me to marry you? 'Cause it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Because you're fun, you're sexy and I like you.
You are everything that I love in a woman.
What do you love about THIS woman? What is it about me? What makes me different? Well, it's because of how different you are that I have to leave.
Alone.
And I'm sorry.
I'm sure you are, in this moment.
But then again, you're one of those blokes who lives moment to moment so you're sorry right now, but in 10 minutes, you'll be right as rain.
No, no, no, that's not Don't even think about arguing.
Yeah, she's got you sussed, mate.
I am truly sorry.
Get your stuff .
.
and get the hell out of my life.
And, you know, I'm gonna keep the ring as a reminded never to be so stupid! I apologise on behalf of my entire family.
Yeah, and me.
On behalf of blokes everywhere.
That went better than I expected.
Hey, is Woody here? Should he be? According to his message.
Some kind of emotional emergency? Maybe he meant the brotherhood of rejected fathers here.
I'm pretty sure he didn't.
Drink until he shows up? If I say yes, it's not because my job has driven me to it.
You need to come with me.
Why? Because if you don't, I will hunt you down and destroy you.
I'm busy.
Hey, someone's put an offer on your wedding house.
Why didn't you just say that? Dad wanted me to inject some intrigue into it.
Real estate is generally very dull.
You're in charge till I get back.
But I'm in charge al day.
Just five minutes, please? So I hear William's taking in waifs and strays.
The pregnant woman in the house? Oh, Jan.
Mmm.
She needed somewhere to stay.
So I heard.
I'm sure there's nothing going on between then.
It wouldn't matter if there was.
So my painting's gone then? Yes.
Any chance there's another lying around? No.
And I should point out that no actual money has changed hands.
So? So if you're looking to Threaten you? (LAUGHS) Why would I do that? Katie, I want to go into business with you.
WOODY: Come on.
Can't I just stay at home and be miserable? No, because you know how the saying goes, Hannah, right? Misery needs company.
I don't think that's how the saying goes.
Well, it is now.
Hey, is everything OK? You sounded really stressed on the phone.
No, not me.
Hannah's had the worst day ever.
First, where she works shuts down, and then she got dumped because George's bro decided he wanted to move on.
What?! How can he do that? Pretty easily, actually.
What a bastard.
I figured Hannah could use some company of the feminine variety.
Good call.
Yeah, I'll leave youse to it, eh? You don't wanna stay? We've done our bonding for the day, eh? More than enough bonding, thank you.
Put it there.
Not! Hoo-hoo-hoo! See you at home.
You got a good man there.
You know, it makes sense now that I've had a chance to take it all in.
What makes sense? This house.
Finding it by accident IS the only logical explanation.
OK, I've played along long enough.
The truth.
Tell me.
There is no Bruce.
There is no Saudi Arabia.
But there might be.
One day.
It's a pretty good story, though, eh? I think it helped minimise the hurt.
Which is the only reason I let you spin it.
Alright, the truth, George the truth is that this place isn't me.
I honestly thought it was when I got here, but (SIGHS) .
.
it just makes me so tired.
All this quiet.
All this beauty.
You don't think it's your lifestyle that's making you tired? Probably doesn't help.
I just need a big noisy city around me.
You know, that's what makes me feel alive.
Why don't you take Hannah? She'd love the big city.
For a little while, till she finds me in bed with some bird.
I know who I am, George.
And Hannah's too good for that.
That is undoubtedly true.
So I'll I'll get out of your hair tomorrow.
Leaving everyone with the impression that it was me who drove you away.
So there is an upside to it all.
(LAUGHS) Look, the least I can do is cook you all dinner before I go.
No, the least you could do is rewind time so you never showed up here.
That's a bit harsh.
Have you forgotten how already? Yeah, but you see, Hannah's a lovely person and you're just consumed by bitterness.
Excuse me? Because you know that I've always been a better cook than you.
Ha.
Never.
I got the resume to prove it.
That means nothing in my house.
Because in your house, you've never given me the chance to prove you wrong.
Oh.
You want the chance, do you? I think you'll find the offer's well above the asking price.
Sign of a master agent at work.
I still can't believe you spoilt the surprise.
Get over it, Dad.
I've given away everything else in my life.
Why not the house, eh? Don't be like that.
I'm not being like anything, Fi.
Jest telling it how it is.
You know that's always been my style.
Good work, Monty.
Nice one.
Imagine how happy he'll be when he signs the divorce papers.
Do you want me to smack him? 'Cause I will.
If anyone's gonna smack him, it'll be me.
Did you? Smack him? Mmm.
I came this close.
Restraint.
By your standards.
Yeah.
I was thinking about it and I realised it's usually me, the one doing the walking.
Well, that's some good growing up right there.
It doesn't mean it's too late for me to smack someone.
On that note, let's go and catch some dinner.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm sorry to hear about your bloke.
Such a great chef.
Bit of a knob, though.
Kia kaha.
Nothing else you wanna say to me? We'll bring you back some fish? Yeah.
That'll be great.
Thanks.
I take it we have a guest.
Terry.
Just for the night.
Right, so when he gave the restaurant the flick, Hannah went the same way? While, in essence, that is what happened, at least this time, he made his peace.
What, with Hannah? Well, a kind of peace.
And he's here? He's in the shower.
We're all going out to dinner.
We are? Yep.
And dress nicely.
Nicely by Weld standards or real-world standards? They're one and the same.
Not anymore, thanks to you.
Got that? They're hard work, aren't they? What are? Women.
I mean, reading their minds.
Trying to figure out what they're thinking.
Give me a bloke in a suit any day.
Them, I can read like books.
Oh, bugger.
What? I just realised what Hannah meant.
Oh, are you in trouble again? No more than usual.
Come on, Stevo.
Sit there.
You can drive.
Yep.
Come on, boy.
Have you ever caught yourself some wahine before? Wahine? Is that a type of fish? (BOTH LAUGH) What sort of bait do you need for that? Is this a Turner brother thing? Did George have this effect on you? Um, well and I haven't officially broken up so the question doesn't really You look pretty broken up to me.
Well, we're taking a break.
To think about things.
I'm so sorry.
What for? You and George were really good together, I thought.
Yeah, me too.
Are you even allowed in this conversation? You with your perfect bloke.
What? Woody from Planet Infuriating? OK, well, maybe not entirely perfect.
But he loves you.
That's more than any of us can managed.
Excuse me.
Hey, can I have a word? Yes, you can.
No, Rae's not going to the police.
(SIGHS) Cool.
No, not cool.
Because Rae wants us to continue to produce Dennis masterpieces to sell at this gallery a friend of hers owns.
OK.
No, not OK.
And no gonna happen.
Because I told her, and I'm telling you now, that if she wants Dennis to paint her a painting, then she can ask him herself.
Because as of today, I don't represent him.
But you can't dump Dennis.
He's the only artist who makes you any money.
I am well aware of that, Shay.
But there are things in my life that are more important than money.
Like being able to sleep at night.
I'm sorry.
It's all my fault.
I kind of got carried away.
It's understandable.
You're young, you should get fired up about stuff.
Just not this.
Not in the mood, Ollie.
It's the future.
Get used to it.
Not my future.
All of our futures.
Hey, do you wanna do something tonight? I'm suddenly not working.
Uh, not tonight.
Why not? I just I just can't.
OK, how about tomorrow? I don't know.
I'll text you.
Will you? Sometimes people say they will and never do.
Look, Ollie, I just had a really bad day, OK? What, with the painting thing? Mainly, yeah.
But we solved that.
You and me when we broke in and stole it.
Reclaimed it.
Shay, all I'm saying is we have a bond now.
You and me.
We need to respect that bond.
I have to go.
But you'll text me, right? Mm-hm.
You need to get dressed for dinner.
Something nice.
And why? Terry's leaving town.
But there's a score that needs to be settled first.
And this involves dressing up, why? Because it's that kind of place.
The whole painting thing - it's sorted, by the way.
Is Katie OK? Yeah.
She's alright.
It was all me.
All my fault.
I'm sorry.
Good.
Go get dressed.
SONG: I got scared in the middle of the night Soft the name right in my head GEORGE: "The act of sharing food is one of the fundamental things about being human.
We break bread together.
Sometimes, we do this out of love" Hey.
Hope you're hungry.
".
.
and sometimes, we do this out of duty, to keep the social order intact and in the correct order.
" Shouldn't we wait for Robbie? Robbie can eat when he gets here.
Who needs a fancy restaurant when Dad's cooking, hey? Thank you, Monty.
I think.
"Sometimes, food is sustenance, the fuel that accompanies and energises a task that must be completed" I found this one out back.
Bin it.
I think it's an actual Dennis.
Doesn't matter.
Everything to do with him and his paintings gone.
Mum.
Yes, sweetheart? Isn't Dennis the only thing here that makes us any money? Oh, we'll be fine.
Don't you worry about that.
Can we light sparklers on the bonfire? We would be mad not to.
".
.
or food is a peace offering, a way of celebrating a truce.
" Or of sorting out old differences.
So the place is booked solid.
You're lucky I could squeeze you in.
So we see.
You two make yourself at home.
We'll be right back.
Well, you need a hand? Not tonight, mate.
"It always struck me as odd that dining with others is a social norm, given that, sometimes, the actual act of eating" Is not the prettiest thing we humans can do.
Dad, you eat like a pig.
It's the way I was brought up.
Mum used to call dinnertime 'trough time'.
SIOUXSIE: Watching Grandma Norma hoover up the turkey every Christmas, most terrifying thing I've ever seen.
Is that from Lindsay? So, what's the deal with her? She's alright.
OK, you were all, like, cut up after Emma dumped you.
No, I wasn't.
Course you were trying to be cool like Uncle Terry.
No.
So I forgave your lapse of taste.
But enough's enough, Arlo.
You're way better than her.
Oh, well, how are things with Ike then? Oh, that's right, you're with your No.
1 fan now.
You know how everyone thought you were nuts for bringing the kids here? Well, not everyone.
Well, yeah, they did.
They were wrong.
So Weld is good enough for me, but not for you.
I'm the free-range Turner.
(LAUGHS) "Food can also provide comfort, solace, be the fuel that keeps us going, to face another day.
" If you want me to work tonight, too bad, I'm busy.
Happy birthday.
You thought I'd forgotten, didn't you? You wouldn't be the only one.
OK, well, I did, but then I remembered, which is the main thing.
Thanks.
Not the greatest birthday, I guess.
I've had worse.
Actually, no.
No, I haven't.
I can come over if you need me to.
Nah.
I'm alright.
I'm just sitting here, thinking about life and where to from here.
And? And I think I wanna be a cop.
I'm serious.
I'd make a great cop.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) I am sure you would.
Hey, I've got someone at the door.
I have to go.
A tall, dark, handsome stranger? Yeah, I wish.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Yeah.
And thanks.
Hey, man! Are you drunk? Do you know what you find at the bottom of a bottle? It's something a little bit like happiness.
Not quite happiness.
A little bit like it, though.
Can I come in? Like I've got a choice.
"Food and the act of eating can be anything you want them or need them to be.
Way more than just a meal.
" Food can even be war.
The first dish our mother ever taught us was macaroni cheese.
And ever since, the disputed have raged.
So tonight, we sort it out.
And you're gonna be the judges.
Without bias.
Whilst also remembering that your Uncle Terry is a world-class chef.
Not some hack in a kitchen.
Ignore him.
We need to know, once and for all, whose is the best macaroni cheese in the world.
Oh, in the world? Yes, Arlo, the world.
So taste away.
And remember that family honour is at stake here.
No pressure then? (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Constable Tom.
George.
Is Shay there with you? Yes, she's here with me.
If it's about the painting thing, tell him it's all sorted.
She says the painting thing's all sorted.
It's not about the stupid painting.
Is Ike with her? No.
Why? "Of course, there is a school of thought that says food is only food.
And after the meal is consumed and the dishes done, the realities of life" Come crashing back in.
Do we have to do the dishes too? Yes, you do, Lindsay.
Well, that was a lovely meal.
Thank you.
My pleasure.
And may I say, it's been made much more pleasurable by having you here.
You coming into my world like this, Jan, it's been, um Well, the point is, um.
If you wanted to make this your home .
.
to share it with me .
.
you'd make me the happiest man on the planet.
Sorry, um, way out of line.
Sorry, beg you pardon.
No, no, no.
It's not that, that was lovely, it's just, um.
I think my waters have broken.
Oh, Oh! Monty? Get the car.
Well, don't just stand there.
You know you're breaking the terms of your parole.
Yeah I know.
And driving here as well? What the hell is going on in your head? Well, the thing is Fi, signing away the house today I realised I can't go on without you.
Oh, Robbie, please don't do this again.
No, please hear me out.
You're the best thing to ever happen in my life.
And I wanna undo everything that went wrong.
And kids, Fi.
I really want us to have kids.
What we used to talk about back in the day, remember? When it was good.
So, what do you say? That was so good.
Oh, Good.
Thank you.
I'll wash up.
You really are as close to perfect as a guy can get aren't you? (SCOFFS) Yeah, I wish.
But, look, it's definitely something to aspire to.
See, right there, perfect answer.
Will you marry me? Isn't that generally the bloke that gets to ask that question? And you're a traditional sort of bloke are you? Okay, alright.
Tracey Dennis .
.
what would you say if I said will you marry me? Well, Jeff Woodson I would say Yeah? .
.
are you serious? Yeah.
Well then, I would also say yes.
Did we actually just do this? Yeah, I think we did.
(LAUGHS) This calls for champagne! Yes.
I've gotta call my Mum! Call Mum.
Yes! (LAUGHS) Somewhere deep inside, Something's got a hold on you Idiot.
Idiot.
And it's pushing me aside See it stretch on forever And I know I'm right For the first time in my life The pause to enjoy good food and good company.
Is one of life's great universal pleasures.
The simple act of a shared meal is what keeps us going, keeps us moving forward.
You'd better be home soon Gives us the strength to deal with whatever life throws at us next.
Stripping back the coats Of lies and deception Tom? We weren't sure, if we were looking for two people or three.
We found the boat.
It's Zac's boat.
And I know I'm right Ike.
Shay.
Shay, Shay, Shay.
For the first time in my life It's going to be okay.
That's why I tell you You'd better be home soon That's why I tell you You better be home soon.