8mmm (2015) s01e02 Episode Script

Episode 2

1 LOLA: Hello, you mob.
Them Buddhist mob, they reckon if we face it right direction, we just gotta keep on walking, indit? But what if we got it two ways? Blackfella learning one way.
And that another way - that whitefella schooling.
They're really different ways, them two.
So, which way is right way? Which way we gotta keep on walking? Well, I can't know it everything for you mob.
Hey! Hey! Oh! What the Ah! (Gunshot) (Yelps) JAMPAJINPA: It wasn't me! LOLA: But stick around.
You might learn it something.
JAMPAJINPA: Kill the whitey! Aaaahhhhh Look, I'm here I'm from the bush Don't be shy 'cause I'm black Listen to me Talking to you From the bush! Mate, I'm being underpaid.
(Chuckles) ~ Oh, you're serious.
~ Yeah, I'm serious.
(Laughs) Hey, Reg? Bro, how's about we keep this on the low and low with Jake? You feeling me? I can't feel my neck.
You feeling me? Can't be helped you fight like a girl.
You stay out of my way or I'll How do you say it? Bust a cap in your ass? See, Jampajinpa? Reg is gonna bust your arse.
Spear coming through! What you two was hunting, anyway? Not hunting, tracking endangered species to save them from extinction.
See, Native Species Bureau have been working on this app for years.
Once tagged, we can track anything.
Anywhere.
Yeah, I know what you're thinking - no internet signal, right? Well, don't worry, she just piggybacks off the nearest satellite.
~ Like satellite phone? ~ Exactly.
This is the multimillion-dollar baby.
Million dollars, and you still missed that bird.
~ You got ripped off! ~ (Chuckles) Oi.
I pay you lot to work, not sit around gossiping.
Oh, I thought 8MMM paid me.
My bad.
Right, this is a skills audit.
It's a management tool to assess how suitable you all are for the jobs you're in.
There are three sections - skills, qualifications and cultural knowledge.
~ You're shitting me.
~ I shit you not.
Apparently, kicking up dust for 30,000 years qualifies you to make radio.
Now, I don't make the rules.
Look, Milly, I know that actually earning your pay's going to hurt, but it's your job to make sure these are handed out at the meeting today.
RADIO PRESENTER: The Women's Show, bringing sisters together.
~ Lunchtimes on ~ Onto it.
~ Thank you.
~ .
.
8MMM FM Aboriginal radio.
~ Where'd you get these tests? ~ Internet.
A reliable site.
~ This one is rubbish for me? ~ Oh, now, why's that, Lola? Well, I'm TO from Central Desert.
You would know that, eh? Yeah, I know that.
You should ace the test, then, shouldn't you? Hey, hey, hey, hey, Lola.
You're a traditional owner, marvellous.
Congratulations.
Jake's a GM - General Manager.
Doesn't mean he knows what he's doing, does it? He's got you there.
JOY: Oh, he can't go to school, poor fella.
He real sick, that boy.
JESSIE: Right.
I'll be the judge of that, Mum.
(Retches) Oh, see? (Groans) My gut hurts.
Sick of school, more like it.
He's sick one.
He can't go school.
Stay out of this, Joy Bells.
I need my son to have a future.
Future? Look at me - I got no schooling.
I got house, money, car, everything.
Everything? You've got Centrelink money, government housing and the car is mine.
Get your arse up.
You're going to school, Thomas.
Mum! You got any more bright ideas, Nana Joy? You promised I can learn blackfella way today.
Not my fault you was lousy actor.
(Phone rings) How many Indigenous languages exist in Australia? At last count, 145, but except for 20, they're nearly all lost.
You're weird.
Who knows this shit? You do know that you're the most studied race on the planet, right? Yeah.
Whitefella has been study us long time.
When they gonna learn at something? Hey! You mob know how to work? Dave wants this completed by this afternoon.
(Sighs) Test completed! (Laughs) ~ Eww! ~ So, she's not gonna do the test? Here we are, bloods.
Back in the hood! (Sighs) Sorry about your butt, Gideon.
HQ didn't say anything about a ceremony out there.
I'll let 'em know GIDEON: That's alright.
Hmm.
~ .
.
soon as I get my neck fixed.
~ Hey! (Grunts) Pretty small ceremony, eh? Where is everybody? Nah, just us two poor things.
~ No-one ever come for ceremony.
~ Mm.
Young mob chasing rap song, Soup Dog.
They ceremony disco now.
Is it quarterly accounts time already? We spent next months' wages fixing the studio, so we're broke.
Please tell me we can acquit the Cultural Preservation Grant.
Of course we can acquit the Cultural Preservation Grant.
Really? That's fantastic! I could kiss you.
Don't get carried away.
No, I meant figuratively.
We can acquit the grant, but I'm not sure how yet.
(Groans) (Continues banging head) Skills Audit and Cultural Knowledge Test completed.
(Imitates playing trumpet) You still going? This cultural knowledge test is stupid.
I found it very comprehensive.
How come there's no white cultural knowledge test? Oh, yeah, that's right.
You need to have a culture in the first place.
'Sup, girl! Hey, Milly, where you at? Hi! Um, I'm (Squeals) Female, are you deaf? (Thump) Get round here and do your job.
You got no respect, woman! ~ Sorry about that.
~ Wha (Groans) These mob are whacked.
Mm.
(Phone rings) 'Sup, Jakey? I got some VIP guests here wantin' to converse with you.
Senior mens.
You hearin' me? Jake? You there? Ah, gentlemen! Werte! Welcome to 8MMM, the voice of Aboriginal people.
I'm Jake.
I'm the General Manager.
It's the same thing as the CEO, except that the GM's in the trenches You making recording for us? Ceremony? A r-recording? Ceremony? In Aboriginal language? Might be we make it in Chinese, eh? Ah! You! (Chuckles) Of course it's Aboriginal language.
Yep, absolutely.
Ah, yeah, fantastic.
~ Follow me.
Right this way.
~ This way, bloods! ~ (Phone rings) ~ (Hums) (Sighs) Hey.
'Sup, Lola? (Phone rings) Um, ah This way.
OK, here we are.
Just, um take a seat and I'll grab you another one.
~ Oi! Where are you going with that? ~ Ah, we've got some guests.
~ Some guests? ~ Yeah.
Might be you might make tea, eh? Take a seat.
(Phone rings) ~ Why do we have to hide? ~ Shh! Those men are painted up.
Oh, I see.
Hey, what do you think their skin names are? ~ They're married.
~ No, that's not why I'm asking.
I just want to make sure if they're my family or not.
Well, they're my family, and, last time I checked, you weren't.
~ No, I'm Nuparrulla.
~ What? Which, according to your culture, means I'm your sister.
~ I thought you were Nampajinpa? ~ Yeah, that too.
Which means I'm also your mother-in-law.
~ How many skin names do you have? ~ Seven.
You're only supposed to have one skin name, so people know what family connection you are to them.
Yeah, I'm not gammon.
They were given to me.
I couldn't refuse.
I'm not rude.
(Like some people.
) I need somewhere to hide.
Do you mind? These womans be trippin'.
So, let me get this straight - you want us to record today? We need to record ceremony.
We might be kwementyeye soon.
~ Cumin' what? ~ Uh, kwementyeye.
It's When Aboriginal people pass away, it's called kwementyeye, because it's culturally inappropriate to use the deceased person's name.
If they're dead, how do they know? We can do it today, no problem at all.
~ Jampajinpa can do it.
~ Word! No.
Jampajinpa not man our way.
Might be you can record it? Me? What? That's whacked! Really? I mean, well yes.
Yeah, most definitely.
I'd be honoured to do it.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
That's my cultural heritage.
He's whiter than my cheeks.
Jampajinpa, Jake is man white people's way.
Yeah, but I was adopted.
I grew up whitefella way.
~ That should make me a man too.
~ Your family are black? Well, yeah.
But I only found out about that six months ago.
So, white again.
~ Nah, nah, I didn't mean it like ~ (Chuckles) That's not (Phone continues ringing) (Sighs) So, you sayin' I'm not a white man.
I'm not a black man till I go through Aboriginal law.
Well, when can I go through law? Hey, young fella.
You not ready.
Look.
I'm over 18.
Look, look.
Nah, you got kid brain.
You not ready to be a man.
(Phone rings) Right, so you can't afford to pay me properly, you've just given away official time and resources for free.
Dave, it's an honour to be invited to participate in the world's oldest living civilisation.
Civilisation.
It's a fuckin' wasteland out there.
60,000 years, they've done nothing with the place.
Yeah, and it only took us 200 to dig it all up.
Aha-ha, right.
Yeah, hey, at least we learned to write things down properly for future generations.
Oral history? Chinese whispers.
Look, with these recordings we can acquit the Cultural Preservation Grant ~ and get some money in the door.
~ Money? ~ Yeah.
Well, what are you waiting for? Come on.
~ Hey, hey, hey.
~ What? Mate, you look like a freakin' missionary.
~ What? ~ The hat! Oh, Christ! Got to train the bludgers to sweep and clean as well.
Ta.
I know I'm gonna regret asking this, but what are you doing in there? Them two law men, they gone? Yeah, yeah, they're just leaving.
Close the door! Woman not allowed to look at law man.
Why? What, are you going to turn into a pillar of salt, are you? I look like a church woman for you? 'Sup, Jimba? You alright, cousin? Yeah.
I'm sick of being treated like a kid.
When are they going to treat me like a man? You need to show them that you're a man.
You need to have a drink.
Couple of cones.
~ Nah, you know Nan'll kill me.
~ Ah, true that.
Nah, see, that's your problem - you listen to women.
You want to be a man, act like one.
~ Mm.
~ Come on! Let's go, man! ~ Yep.
~ Come on! ~ Let's do it.
~ Come on.
Sorry.
Thomas! I thought I told you to go to school, get an education.
You know, reading, writing, history? Don't pick on my grandson.
That school give him larrikin book.
Moby's you know, this one! They been teaching him rude way! Nana Joy, Moby Dick is about a whale.
It's not rude.
You seen whale in the desert? Why white people force you learn whale dreaming? You gotta learn your own culture! Mum, he has to learn whitefella ways too.
He's got to survive when he grows up.
My grandson gonna learn surviving real way.
We wait here.
You find us driver.
Follow the beat If I was knocked out in the crowd scene Would you come and pick me up? Follow the beat (Engines rev, dogs bark) See, you want to be a man like us mob, eh? We're not scared of anything.
Come on, prove you're a man.
True? Scull.
Scull.
ALL: Scull! Scull! Scull! Scull! Scull! Scull! Scull! Scull! (All continue chanting) (All cheer) (Groans) Ha-ha! Yes! You're meant to grab the coin with your teeth, cuz.
~ Now you gotta have a bong.
~ No, no, no, no! None of that.
No, no.
I can't do this.
No, no, no.
~ Prove you're a man.
~ Nah, nah, nah, nah.
~ Come on! ~ ALL: Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! (All start cheering) MAN: Ah, no worries.
(Coughs, retches) Sorry, Tjore.
You're on your own.
Time to scatter.
NAN: Wenhme elbenehe etjenhenge.
Apmere altjenenge aye.
You mob never learn, aye? Still giving my grandsons grog, eh? You mob be learn today.
~ (All exclaim) ~ That's my Nan! (Coughs) You two, stay there.
All you other mob better start running now.
Hey, hey! Man for waste.
He forced me to drink! What? Muh.
What am I going to do with this? Hold it for me.
~ (Moans) Help me.
~ (Both yelp) Nan, let go! ~ Nan ~ You two gotta act like a real man.
But he forced me to drink Lucky you got a grandmother who can teach you how to stand tall.
So, I was reading, Gideon, that, traditionally, you use desert daisies for those kind of body designs.
So, what's the name of that one? Cotton ball.
'Got' 'Got-n-bull?' Is that it? Got-n-bull? What's that one? Cotton ball.
You know, woolly one.
Oh, cotton ball.
Sorry.
Yep.
We need feathers.
No feather, no ceremony, see? Well, um .
.
so, maybe should we Should we go to the shops to get the feathers? Don't be silly.
You can't get 'em along shop, this one.
~ This feather for ceremony.
~ R-right.
Well, how do we do the ceremony if we don't have feathers? Young fella, how much petrol you got? Petrol? Yaweye.
You're late.
What is it with you lot? What, none of youse got a watch or anything? Uh! I thought the Aboriginal culture was supposed to be a sharing one.
You mob reckon we gotta act white people way.
Oh Oh, I nearly forget it.
You wanted this cultural form? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Just just put it on the table.
Where is everyone? Jake is ceremony business.
Koala is dreaming business.
Oh, right.
That'd be right.
Mm? Milly is nail business.
And Jampajinpa is Alright, alright, alright, alright.
That's fine.
That's fine.
Just you and me, then, Lola.
A small meeting is a quick and efficient meeting.
First item on the agenda (Sighs) Oi, oi, where are you going? Not your business.
(Honks horn) Ah sorry.
I just I was (Imitates engine revving) Sweet.
What you got there? Show me.
Mine! (Grunts) There's Dave.
Quick.
Hide.
Oi! Why aren't you kids at school? Why aren't you at work? What happened to 'respect your elders'? ~ You're not my elder.
~ I'm older than you.
~ Yeah.
You're white.
~ Yeah.
So? Mbah, kwerne une aleme.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Now, look.
That's why youse need to go to school - you gotta learn English.
We speak English and Arrernte and Anmatjere and Walpiri and Luritja.
That's five languages! No, no, no, they're not languages.
English! English.
That's a language.
That's just That's bloody gibberish, all that stuff.
No wonder you lot can't get jobs.
Mum says us blackfellas can't get jobs because youse whitefellas give jobs to your mates.
Yeah, well, I haven't got any mates.
~ So there.
~ (Both laugh) Cheeky little buggers.
Get out of the car.
~ (Stick snaps) ~ (Groans) Sorry.
Sorry.
Kangaroo! (Both growl) (Grumbles) Hmm.
All hail the man.
Word on the street is .
.
wigga got schooled by his grandmother.
Where'd you get that iPad? Kids found it in the car.
Hand it over.
Make me .
.
Wi-eye.
(Exhales) It's got shit games on it anyway.
(Dings bell) ~ Have fun? ~ (Gasps) Oh, Jesus Christ.
Uh, no, actually.
Went hunting for feathers, but didn't catch a head dress.
So, no ceremony.
So .
.
I don't have any recordings and I can't acquit the grant.
Don't worry, mate, you'll still get a pay rise.
More than one way to skin a cat.
Geez, you look a bit red.
Should've worn a hat.
Check that out.
Sorry, what skills, exactly, are we auditing? The skills to make radio.
Whatever you're paying this lot will have to be skimmed off to top up mine.
(Chuckles) You can't be serious, Dave.
As a heart attack.
Time to pay the piper, my boy.
(Sighs) (Laughs) Good luck! I'm on a trainee wage, which is peanuts.
Jampajinpa earns less than peanuts and Milly earns less than that.
Well, what about Kwerle? Koala is a volunteer.
Alright, Lola.
She's been around since the Dreamtime, getting yearly pay rises for 'cultural knowledge', which she doesn't apparently have.
Dave, you don't know how lucky we are to have Lola here.
Lucky? Give me a (Speaks indistinctly) Hey, look! She's out there now with some bloody random woman and kids singing bloody gibberish.
Hey, what about my pay rise? (Both continue singing) Yeah, that is exactly why you're getting a pay cut.
~ Kwee? ~ Centrelink been cut me off again? What I done now? No, your pension's fine.
Lola's not on a salary, she's a blow-in.
~ Hey? ~ Lola doesn't work here? ~ Oh! ~ She's just here.
Like furniture.
Furniture? Yeah, thanks a lot.
You're welcome.
Hey ~ .
.
Joy Bells? ~ What? You and Lola want to do us a favour? We need to record some language songs.
We can't give our knowledge away for free.
Well, well, well.
An Aboriginal organisation and you lot know shit all about your culture.
Disgraceful.
~ Apart from Kwerle, you all ~ Koala.
Whatever.
Apart from her, you all failed the cultural knowledge test.
Well, duh.
It's a Torres Strait Islander Cultural Test.
Yeah.
So? We're Aboriginal.
Central Desert.
So? Youse are all Indigenous, aren't you? Christ almighty! (Chuckles) ~ JAMPAJINPA: Cooee! ~ (Gasps) JAMPAJINPA: Cooee-ee! Hey! Who there? Hey, don't, don't! Don't spear me! Jake said you was looking for ceremony feathers.
Yeah! Million-dollar baby! Let's get a hunt on! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! LOLA: Like I was telling you mob early part, we gotta choose it blackfella way or whitefella way.
All us people .
.
we wanna share 'em all our culture and all our stories with our kid and grannies, eh? (All sing) Well, black and white .
.
we the same.
We all got 'em red blood.
I reckon .
.
we all got to learn to walk in two world.
Yep.
That's what I reckon.
KOALA: Have they gone? Is it OK to come out now? Think about it.
This 8MMM FM.
Aboriginal radio in Aboriginal country.
I've just got back from the expo people.
Apparently our staff were out of control.
(Chants) Oh.
Don't know what gave them that idea.
MILLY: Get it off him, Lola.
What possessed you to film this and then upload it on the internet for everyone to see? ALL: (Chant) Hell, no, expo, we won't go! LOLA: (Taps microphone) Hello? This thing on?