90210 s03e10 Episode Script

Best Lei'd Plans

Previously on 90210: Laurel, you know that Ivy and I slept together.
- Oh.
- But Ivy doesn't know - that you and I slept together.
- What? I'm not gonna tell anybody that we hooked up.
I don't know what's going on.
I'm just confused.
Yeah, I know you are.
- That was - Not anticipated.
Ha, ha.
At all.
I have stuff going on that I wanted to talk to you about.
Guys, can you wait, like, five minutes? You know what, Ade? Don't worry.
I should go home.
We'll talk later.
I need to talk to you.
Can I come in? Yeah.
Oh, man.
Good morning.
Coffee? Uh Sure.
Sorry for talking your ear off last night.
Ah, please.
Come on.
That's how you wanted to spend your evening, with some guy sitting on your couch for four hours, feeling sorry for himself and then passing out.
You're hardly some guy.
Although you did fall asleep mid-sentence.
- Mm? - Mm-hm, yeah.
Ha, ha.
- Are you ser? - You were like: "I just don't think anyone can understand what it's like to grow up in a" Oh, man.
- I'm such a tool.
- Nah.
I'm glad that you came to talk to me.
Me too.
Everything's gonna be okay.
- Hello? - Hey.
We missed you at Voyeur last night.
It was so much fun.
Ha, ha.
Renee and Ilon got so wasted.
Chayo ended up in a cage with one of the dancers.
Uh, yeah.
I just fell asleep.
So do you wanna hang out now? My morning is wide-open.
That would be great.
Okay, cool.
I'll come over.
Oh, no, no.
I'm, uh No, I'm out doing some errands.
- Uh, I'll come to your place.
- Okay.
- See you in a bit.
- Bye.
I could have told her I spent the night here, but it might have seemed weird and hard to explain.
No, yeah, I get it.
It's better and easier this way.
- For everybody.
- Yeah.
Uh, I should go.
Uh Mm.
- Thanks for the coffee.
- Anytime.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Look, I appreciate you coming to get me last night.
- Yeah, no problem.
I was glad I'd - No, listen.
I'm not what you think I am, okay? I'm just confused.
I've been with a lot of girls.
A lot of girls.
And I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't say anything to anyone about anything.
Of course not.
- How you doing? - Good.
I was just dropping off Dixon's college applications.
He has a meeting with his guidance counsellor and forgot them.
She's terrifying.
She is terrifying.
I thought it was just me.
No, no, it's not just you.
She is full-on frightening.
I think it's because she looks so much like Christopher Walken.
It's uncanny.
You know, I'd be happy to drop those off.
Save you a scare.
Thank you.
That would be great.
Hey, um That was fun the other night.
Yeah, it was very fun.
Surprising and crazy and very fun.
- I was not expecting that.
- Me neither.
You see, the thing is Well, you are my kids' teacher.
And Harry and I are friends.
So we should probably chalk it up to one surprising, crazy night.
We should, right? - We should.
- Yeah.
All right, well, I should get these to Mr.
- How's that look? - Man, that's all kinds of crooked.
- Aah.
I just can't do anything straight.
- Ha, ha.
Hey, thanks again for all your help.
Are you kidding? After all the work you put into the bachelor auction, - I'm happy to return the favour.
- Ah.
Ugh, I can't believe Teddy turned out to be such a homophobe.
- I'm so disgusted.
- No, he's really not at all.
What do you mean? Well, he came up to me and apologised for what happened.
Okay, well, that doesn't make it right.
We talked and, you know, he's a good guy.
Teddy and I are cool.
- Really? - Yeah.
I know that's not who he really is.
Ivy, you were killing it out there.
For real? Thanks.
I hope I'm ready for the invitational.
Hey, well, we'll all be there cheering you on.
I don't get it.
You guys, like You don't even swim or look at the ocean, so why bother coming to the beach at all? Ivy has a point.
The ocean is pretty awesome.
Oh, wow.
- You guys are pathetic.
Really? - So which one's hottest? - Blue wetsuit.
- Definitely the blue wetsuit.
Yeah, I wanna put blue wetsuit between the other two and make a sandwich.
Naomi, you're drooling.
Duh, I really need to get back into the dating game.
I've wasted so much time, it's crazy.
Yeah? Are you sure? Yeah, a hundred percent.
What you went through with Cannon was seriously intense.
Yeah, but after all these months, I finally feel like I am ready to rip off the bandage with something tall, dark and water-resistant.
Oh, my God.
He is coming towards us.
You're like a tractor beam.
Hey, Zach.
Hey, Ivy.
Good luck on Saturday.
You're totally gonna shred.
Yo, how was Cabo? Weren't you there for a week or something? Oh, yeah.
The waves were killer.
I love it there.
Hi, Zach? Naomi.
I love Cabo too.
Where'd you stay? The Palmilla or Las Ventanas? Um, I stayed at some youth hostel.
It was pretty decent.
Surf report says there is an epic swell rolling in this weekend.
Oh, sick.
Yeah, there was an epic swell when I was surfing in Bali last summer.
The waves were sick.
Are you surfing in the invitational? No, heh, I'm burned out on competing.
I just surf for fun now.
Actually, I'm kind of all about fun, if you wanna catch some waves sometime? Sure, let's go after the competition.
- It's a date.
- Cool.
- Later.
- Bye.
Naomi, you don't like to get your hair wet.
Ah, some big fish are worth the frizz.
You can teach me to surf in a couple days? Oh, yeah, absolutely, and water ski and windsurf too.
Just make sure I master surfing first.
Hey, guys.
How was school? We have to talk to you about something.
Have a seat.
Mom, we want you to start dating.
It's just that Dad is really happy with his girlfriend.
And we want you to find somebody too.
Someone great.
Well, I agree.
- Awesome.
- Okay.
Oh, that's great.
This is the dating profile that we set up for you.
What? My friend Stephanie's mom met this awesome guy.
So tell me what you think about this picture.
I told him it's all wrong.
- She looks hot.
- Gross.
Not you.
You for trying to pimp out your own mother.
I'm not trying to pimp her out.
I'm trying to get her a date.
Whoa, I don't want to Internet date.
Ha, ha.
Mom, no offence, but this is how people your age hook up.
- No, I can't.
It's too weird.
- It's not weird.
Well, just try it.
Well, aren't there all kinds of predators? Like, sex predators? Look, look, we will screen for sex predators.
Come on, Mom.
What do you have to lose? - Okay, you can put up my profile.
- Yes.
Whoa, whoa, wait.
But I am not committing to any dates just yet.
- Let's see how it goes.
- That's great.
One step at a time.
So, what do you think about this picture? - Oh, Dixon, no.
- What? I'm eating a banana.
- Where have you been? - I got here as fast as I could.
- What's the big emergency? - It's about your advance.
Oh, no.
Oh, God, I knew I shouldn't have spent so much.
They want it back? They want it all back, don't they? They don't want any of it back.
In fact What's this? Your single is selling so well, the record company tripled your advance.
- Ah! Are you serious? - Yeah.
Oh, my God.
This is amazing.
No, you're amazing.
And this is only the beginning.
- So, what do you wanna do now? - I wanna hang out with my friends.
Ooh, we're by that hotel that wraps foie gras in cotton candy and serves it on a stick.
Let's go there for dinner.
Come on, it'll be fun.
No, hanging out with you is my job.
It's not fun.
Come on, you can invite your friends too if you want.
I have my mom's credit card.
- Would you rather go to a movie? - Enough.
Okay? I'm not into you.
I will never be into you.
Just let it go already.
Take me home.
I'm sorry.
I I didn't mean to make you cry.
I Please stop.
Look, you're a great girl.
I just don't feel that way about you.
Well, I don't feel that way about you either.
I've tried, but I'm still in love with Dax.
- Who's Dax? - What do you care? Laura, I care.
I I don't wanna see you cry.
Dax is my ex.
He's beautiful and he's tortured.
He grew up in foster homes and he spent six months in juvie.
- He sounds great.
- He is.
He's got Robert Downey Jr.
's soul and Zac Efron's body.
So, what's the problem? He dumped me because he thought I was just another goody-goody Beverly Hills girl.
So I thought I'd prove him wrong.
By dealing drugs? Yeah.
It didn't work.
He still hates me.
He won't even return my texts.
Oh, God, I'm such a loser.
Hey, come on.
Hey, you wanna go get that cotton-candy thingy for dinner? - What do you say? - Whatever.
It all just sucks.
I was stupid to think that you or Dax or anyone would ever like me.
- Hey, babe, how's it going? - Fine.
So you psyched for the surf contest? Whatever.
Well, win or lose, I was thinking we could get oysters after at Poseidon's Point, like we always do.
What do you think? Yeah, not this time.
- Ivy.
- What? Please, honey.
You know, you're my best friend.
We are not best friends, okay? You're my mother.
And that sucks for me.
So I just wanted to say I am so excited to be here with my best friends in the world.
You guys have been amazing and supportive, and I'm just so glad you all get to be a part of my journey.
Oh, and no matter where my career takes me, I will always remember you guys.
You just can't understand how much it means to me to have normal, non-famous friends.
I love you all.
Ha, ha.
Did she just refer to us as her non-famous friends? Yeah, she did, but at least we get to be a part of her "journey.
" - Ah, yes.
- To Adrianna.
Rihanna and Gaga, watch your backs, bitches.
Ha, ha.
Oh, my God, that's too funny.
You have to tweet that.
- You think? - Do it.
- Hey, how hot is your girlfriend? - Ha, ha.
She's incredible.
Someone wants to go to the Grammys.
So, Liam, Dixon, what's been going on? I feel like I haven't seen you in forever.
Catch me up.
Tell me everything.
Uh, Dixon almost drowned today.
Whoa, whoa, screw you, dude.
I was surfing my ass off.
- You did.
- No, no, no.
So you know the West Bev Invitational is tomorrow, so we've been Oh, my God, Victor, give it a rest.
He's pushing for that Seventeen photo shoot.
Let it go, Victor.
It's not even a cover.
Ade, can you deal with that later? Ade? Hey, so I heard about what happened between you and lan.
He told me you apologised and that you two are cool.
- Yeah, we're cool.
- That's great.
That's so great.
I'm really glad you did that.
Well, that's not really who I am.
You know? I was being a complete jerk that day.
lan's a good guy.
- You coming to the luau tomorrow? - Uh, maybe, I don't know.
I think you should go.
It's gonna be fun.
Oh, my God.
Are you ready for me to completely rock your world? Ashton Kutcher is following you on Twitter.
- Shut up.
- Oh, yes.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh! How cool is that? I'm gonna send him a direct message.
- Thanks again for lunch, Ade.
- Yeah, it was really fun, heh.
Oh, thanks, guys.
Paparazzi, 2 o'clock.
They're such vultures.
I can't believe they tracked me down.
Hey, can you hold this? I'll meet you in the car.
Here she comes.
Someone tipped them off.
It was one of the waiters.
Waiters? Please.
Adrianna called them herself.
Oh, that girl knows how to work it.
- You look great.
- Hey, girl.
Keep the change.
I hope you're happy.
You destroyed her.
You know that.
My heart is breaking.
How can you be so cruel? My mother is dead because of you.
Look, I did a terrible thing and I am truly sorry about that, but I didn't intend to hurt anyone.
I didn't set out to destroy your family like you did with mine.
I had to get even with you.
I wasn't gonna let you get away with what you did.
Get even with me all you want, but Ivy did nothing to you.
She doesn't deserve any of this.
I'm all that Ivy had.
And now she's got no one.
Was that part of your plan too? Hello? Oh, um Hi.
I was looking for Harry.
- Who's this? - This is his wife.
Um, his ex-wife.
- Can I take a message? - You know what? I can try him later.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
It's okay.
It's fine.
Thank you.
So how's my online profile? Any hits? Uh, let's check it out.
Are those all for me? You got 65 responses.
Seriously? Let's check them out.
Okay, but expect half of them to be losers.
I'm just saying, they're not all gonna be brain surgeons who volunteer for Doctors Without Borders.
Uh, how about this guy? Martin Gaylord, attorney.
Enjoys fine wine and poetry.
And long walks on the beach? Ew, no.
Mom can do better.
Okay, um Here, how about this guy? You said you wouldn't mind dating a doctor.
He's a podiatrist.
That's weird and gross.
- Hmm.
- Oh, he looks nice.
- Click on him.
- Okay.
Oh, well, he does seem kind of sweet.
Yeah, he's cute.
You know, for an old dude.
You wanna say hi, maybe ask him out for a cup of coffee? Oh, I don't know.
Maybe this is a bad idea.
Too late because you're doing it.
- Annie, wait.
- And It's done.
You just asked him out.
Don't you have one that shows a bit more cleavage? Trust me, you don't wanna show any more skin.
The water's gonna be freezing.
Zach is really hot.
I need to look my best.
Let me show you how to pop up on the board.
So you're like this.
Oh, my God, Ivy.
Get up.
Ha, ha.
You look ridiculous.
I don't intend on actually surfing.
That was just an icebreaker to get a date with Zach.
So you have no intention of surfing on your surf date? I'm gonna paddle out in the water.
It looked pretty easy on Blue Crush.
I watched half of it last night.
Then we'll just get up on the boards, talk, and I will win him over with my trademark charm.
Okay, so, what happens when a wave comes? I'll keep missing the waves.
Or better yet, I'll tell him I'm waiting for a really big one.
Maybe you should just go to dinner instead.
Ivy, have a little faith.
There are plenty of guys out there who think I can cook, change a tyre, pack my own bags.
Oh, I bet that's Ade.
I'll get it.
I asked her to come over for a little surf style consultation.
No offence, but I couldn't really rely on you for that.
Has Ade ever even been in the ocean? Like that matters.
- May I have a word with you alone? - I can go.
You know what? You stay.
He should go.
I can't leave till I've had a chance to tell you something.
Tell me what? Look, I don't know how much Laurel told you about the affair she had with my father.
I really don't feel like hearing about my mother's past, especially from you.
That affair wrecked my mother and it tore apart my family.
I thought revenge could fix everything but I was wrong.
It didn't help anything.
And I hurt you.
You didn't deserve that.
And I would take it all back if I could.
Well, you can't take it back, but you can leave me alone.
I know what Oscar did to you was very messed up.
I don't know if you should ever forgive him.
But for what it's worth, I think he sounded pretty sincere.
It's too late.
Last thing.
So do you wanna watch a movie now? Nah, I should go home.
There's a lot going on with the family.
- Should probably hang with them.
- How are things going with them? How's your mom dealing with everything? Not good.
Doesn't help that my sister's completely freaking out.
It's - I'm listening.
- Wow.
I know I said I wanted to go home to be with the family, but, honestly, that was just an excuse so I can get the hell out of here.
I can't stand hanging out with you lately.
I can't even believe how you've been acting.
- You're texting while I'm talking? - I'm done.
You blow off your friends, you call the paparazzi on yourself.
You're so self-absorbed, it makes me sick.
We should have gotten into surfing way earlier.
- Seriously.
- Yep.
Is anyone else having cell service problems? It says I've got full coverage, but it's not sending.
You okay? No.
Navid and I had a pretty bad fight.
He thinks I've become selfish.
Now he's not returning my calls.
- Really? - And he's right.
I've been so wrapped up with my career lately that I've been acting really awful.
I need to do something to make it right with Navid.
If I lost him, I literally would not be able to live with myself.
I hope it all works out.
Silver, will you help me figure out something to do? Please? Of course.
Just let me know what you need.
Oh, my God.
Whoo! Popping out of the barrel is Ivy Sullivan.
That killer ride puts her into first place.
That was awesome! Oh, my gosh.
We know her.
That's our friend.
Ivy really dominated that last wave.
Oh, she's just lucky I wasn't out there.
Surfs up.
Let's go.
Ha, ha.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
- Go, Ivy.
- Congratulations, Ivy.
Whoo! Congratulations.
- Yeah! - Yeah! Congratulations.
And I tried everything.
Stretching, weight training, pain pills, hypnosis.
But nothing would stop the pain.
Lying down.
My back was never not hurting me.
What finally cured it? Cured it? Nothing.
Oh, that's what I'm saying.
You're still in pain? Excruciating.
You don't seem like you're in pain.
That's because the pain is so incredible and unrelenting, if it ever did stop, I might actually notice it and react.
But it is so consistently horrible from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed that it just never even enters my mind.
I no longer know what it's like to not be in excruciating pain.
That sounds awful.
Eh, you get used to it.
I'd be happy to, uh, check out your spinal column, if you'd like.
That's really where this whole thing started with me.
Maybe later.
- You okay? - Yeah.
Totally fine.
Hey, Zach, where do you live? Malibu.
Why live anywhere else? I totally agree.
I've been shopping for a house on the beach forever.
I really like Broad Beach, but who wants to pay 3 million just to say you're neighbours with Sean Penn? I think I see a decent set rolling in.
So I was thinking maybe after all this, we could get a bite to eat.
Since it's an aquatic-themed date, we could get sushi.
Are you more of a Katsuya or a Nobu man? - Nectar.
- Ha-ha-ha.
Why the hell do surfers attach their board to their legs if it's gonna hit them in the face when they wipe out? It's a weapon.
You attach your board so you don't lose it.
So it doesn't hit another surfer if you wipe out.
Oh, I guess that makes sense.
You've never surfed before, have you? Not exactly.
But, hey, you got to rescue me, be my big, strong hero.
- It was fun, right? - No, it wasn't fun.
I'd never have taken a beginner out that far.
You could've been seriously hurt.
It was a stupid thing to do.
It's not that bad.
I don't even have to call my plastic surgeon.
Have a nice life.
- All right.
Coffee or dessert? - I think we're good.
I'll have the chocolate soufflé.
Um, will you excuse me? I'm gonna run to the ladies' room.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Uh, what are you doing here? - Oh, uh, I'm on a date.
- Uh-huh.
- An Internet date.
A computer is running my love life.
Ha, ha.
How is that working out for you? Well, I think I need a new computer.
- It's not going well.
- Yeah.
Well, I must confess, I'm not sorry to hear that.
Whoa! Ah, pineapple chicken.
Sounds gross, but it's awesome.
I know, man.
This is my third piece.
Dude, that's pork.
No, it's not.
I hate pork.
- Teddy? - That's pig, dude.
Why didn't you tell me? You know I don't eat pork.
I didn't notice.
I just thought it would be funnier if I waited.
And it was.
You're a douche.
All right.
I gotta roll.
I gotta pick up Laura.
Wow, this girl's got you whipped and you're not even getting laid.
I know.
It's like I'm dating Ivy.
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- I'm sorry.
Is that too soon? - Wow.
I'm sorry, buddy.
Come here.
No, no.
Dude, get off of me.
Get off of me.
Get off of me.
You came.
- I did.
- I'm glad.
This is great, right? lan did such an amazing job.
- What's up? - Yeah.
It's awesome.
You gonna do the limbo contest with me later? Ooh, I don't know.
- I'll take that as a definite yes.
- Ha, ha.
- You guys seen Navid? - Yeah.
Talking to him now.
He's on his way.
- Oh.
- What's up? - Where are you? - I'm coming.
I'm running a little late.
Well, you're missing all of this hula dancing.
I'm devastated.
I'll be there in ten.
You boys mind if I join you? - Not at all.
- Not at all.
Grab a seat.
Dixon, I thought you hated pork.
Oh, good.
Coffee, ha, ha.
You okay? I was about to file a missing persons report.
Oh, everything's fine.
Long line.
That is good coffee.
Ha, ha.
All right, so I'll bring the car around for you in, like, two hours? Thanks, that's really nice of you.
Uh Hey, what's the matter? I thought we were gonna have a good time tonight.
Can you just take me home now? Okay, I don't get it.
You had your outfit overnighted from Maui, - and no one's even seen it yet.
- Dax is here.
I can't handle this.
So what if Dax is here? It's a big party.
I knew I should have worn my platforms.
He's gonna think I'm a short loser.
No, he's gonna think you have a new boyfriend.
Really? Trust me.
- It's working.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
Why are you suddenly being so nice to me? Do you wanna borrow the car or something? Look, even though you're incredibly annoying, you got me a job and a place to stay when you barely knew me, so I owe you one.
You are awesome.
- Come on.
- Whoo! - Oh, I've gotta get something to eat.
- No.
- No? - No, that food is gross.
It looks great and I'm starving.
Last thing I ate was a reduced-fat cookie from the coffee shop.
- Take a walk on the beach first.
- Let me grab a bite.
No, uh, you can eat when we get back.
It'll help you build up your appetite.
You heard me say I was starving, right? - Man up, we're walking.
- I'm so close, it's just right there.
We're walking.
Everything okay? No, I just got in a big fight with Adrianna.
It wasn't even a fight, really.
It was just me telling her what a huge phoney she turned into.
Don't be so hard on her, okay? I mean, it's gotta be overwhelming, sudden stardom.
She's riding a wave and she's making the most of it.
I get it.
- Maybe you should date her.
- Heh.
Aah! To tell you the truth, uh It's not just the way that Adrianna's been acting that's been bothering me.
It's also the way that I've been feeling about you.
Here we are.
I set up a private dinner for us.
Ha, ha.
- Hey.
- Hi.
I'm sorry for taking you away from the luau, but tonight, I wanted you all to myself.
- Are you surprised? - Uh, very.
Come on, let's go.
Ha, ha.
So, what do you think? Uh, it's very nice.
And look.
All of my success would mean nothing if I couldn't share it with you.
You know that, right? I love you so much and I am so sorry that I haven't been showing you that.
But things are going to change, okay? I promise.
From this moment on, I'm gonna be a better, more attentive, more appreciative, more loving girlfriend.
I cannot believe they give out a trophy for a limbo contest.
Because you're jealous.
And remarkably inflexible.
I can hardly believe you can even bend over and tie your own shoes, Mr.
What's wrong? Nothing, really, I'm just I'm not feeling so hot right now.
Hey, you are very hot.
The guy running the limbo contest, he kept letting you limbo so he could look down your shirt every time you went under.
What? Shut up.
It's true.
You went, like, 30 times.
Everyone else went once.
- Ha, ha.
- It was a travesty.
I'm glad we're friends again.
I missed you.
I missed you too.
- I'm sorry.
- No, I'm I'm sorry.
That was embarrassing.
No, not at all.
It's not you.
What is it? Is there someone else? Yeah.
There is.
- Hello? - Uh, hey, Dad? It's Ivy.
You're not really in the luau mood either, I take it.
Uh, yeah.
Look, I'm sorry you had to witness that mess with Ivy yesterday.
It was awful, what you did to her.
It's pretty much the worst thing I have ever done.
Enough about me.
Um How are you? Not great.
I've been feeling not great for a while.
It's because of what happened with Mr.
Cannon? Look, I don't know the whole story, but after our detective work and the visit to the police station, I figured out that he did something bad enough to you that he should rot in jail.
I just want everything to be better, to be fixed already.
Is that too much to ask? I know what you mean, but sometimes there is no quick fix for the things that hurt the most.
Can't I rip off the bandage and move on? I'm tired of feeling this way.
The bandage will fall off when you're ready.
Besides, you look kind of cute with it.
It's hard looking so good and feeling so bad, right? Yeah, well, who wants to be ugly and happy anyway? Feeling not great makes me hungry.
Me too.
Do you like guacamole? Because I love guacamole.
As far as I'm concerned, it's the best thing about L.
Ha, ha.
I love guacamole.
Mm-hm? All right, well, we're going to get some.
Sir, could we do a bowl of guacamole and some chips? - Mm-hm.
- And one more of those for me? That is not the best thing about L.
, though.
- Oh, really? - No, there's - What else is there? - The weather, there's Rodeo Drive - Need any help? - Yeah, that'd be great.
Hey, chauffeur boy.
Let me give you a piece of advice.
Stay away from my girl.
Please? And people say you're not polite.
She's not your girl anymore.
You don't know what you're talking about.
I know she's much better off without you.
Stay away from her, all right? - Unh.
- I really hate being told what to do.