A Million Little Things (2018) s01e09 Episode Script


1 Previously on "A Million Little Things" This stay-at-home dad was once the lead singer in a band who opened up for Kings of Leon ALL: Right over there.
You ever feel down for more than a couple of days? Everybody feels sad, son.
It's just a part of life.
This is Hunter.
Hey, man.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
If any of these other people knew what I know, they would want you to get treatment.
Gary, they do know.
And they all support my decision.
What? You guys can't be serious.
Delilah gave it a thumbs up, but, you know, she's eating for two.
It's Jon's.
She's pregnant with Jon's baby.
You look like you could use a drink.
Ohh! [LAUGHS.]
He didn't even have his eyes open.
- Okay.
- Check.
Oh! - And pow! - Whoo! Way to spot on that story.
Gary, you realize we started the game, right? ROME: You see how much he's sweating? He knows we started.
All right, ball in.
Look, I don't want to make a big deal out of this, but I just found out I have breast cancer.
Breast cancer? I told you those power bars were just for women.
Dude, the only thing worse than that excuse is your defense.
Yeah, and your offense, my friend.
I'ma go with the shorts.
I like the shorts.
- What, you gonna You gonna be on me all day? Wait a minute.
Are you serious? WOMAN: Hey, what's going on in there? Um, I am trying to figure out why you have a curling iron and a flat iron.
Isn't that counterproductive? [LAUGHS.]
Happy anniversary.
So, last night ended much better than it began.
- Thank you for that.
- You're welcome.
And in the interest of full disclosure, I may have grabbed a couple swipes of your deodorant.
You, uh [GRUNTS.]
You want to know a little secret? What's that? I'm in remission one year today.
I know.
Who do you think set Jon's calendar? So he could go to every session with me.
All right, uh Oh, you're leaving? I was gonna make us some frittata and I thought we could just lie in bed and cuddle while it was baking.
Oh, uh I'm messing with you, dude.
Get your pale ass out of here.
- Hey, man.
My ass isn't that pale.
I'm standing there, getting in this huge fight over who Abe Froman is and if he is, in fact, the Sausage King of Chicago.
Okay, wait, I'm confused.
In the dream, were you Ferris or were you Sloane? I think I'm the maître d'.
Ah, baby.
My sink.
Whatever is in there is multiplying.
Remember to call the super? Damn.
I've been all-in on my script.
- How's it coming? - It's good.
I wanna get through the first act today, though.
It's all right.
I'll call the guy.
I don't know how you do it all, babe.
I really don't.
Launching a new restaurant, taking care of the house And reminding you to take your meds.
Which I already did.
No, you didn't.
No, I didn't.
Damn it.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Why ooh Am I meeting you here and not outside in your car? 'Cause I'm a pregnant woman who doesn't want to pee in her car.
I don't want you to pee in my kitchen.
- Bathroom's this way.
- This way? Thanks.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
I should be thanking you.
You're the one who's driving me all the way to western Mass.
I love road trips.
Have you ever spoken at a college before? No, I haven't, but it's been on my bucket list.
- Bucket list, huh? Are we dealing with what you just said or deflecting? Deflecting.
Deflecting it is.
I've been looking forward to this.
- Yeah.
- Today's all about fun.
We're going back to college.
What Uh, what's your talk about anyway? Uh complicated bereavement.
Are we dealing with it or deflecting? - Deflecting.
- Deflecting it is.
Hey, Eddie.
Oh! Oh! Look at you.
Is this the jacket you bought at Heathrow? Did you want to meet me in person just to make me jealous? Be honest.
The only reason I had to invest in airport clothing is 'cause your drunk ass left our suitcases in a cab.
Sounds like me.
Come on.
How are the guys doing, man? Yeah, they're good.
Really good.
Actually, that's why I'm here.
Word on the street is you're gigging again.
Heard you crushed it at the Langdon the other night.
Well, it was only a 100-seater, but yeah, it was fun getting back onstage.
That's my roommate's.
Your jacket is safe.
The Lumineers' opener bailed, and they need a band to step in.
They want it to be The Red Ferns.
Dude, that is amazing! Are you gonna do it? Yeah, well, the thing is, we need a singer.
I don't know if I can go out on the road again, man.
M-My son needs me.
I came by 'cause the guys needed to know if you were up for touring.
You're standing a couple feet from the bottle and you're not drinking it.
This could be huge.
Oh, God, Keith, I appreciate it, but Eddie.
This is a chance to do it right.
Show yourself you can do it.
Just think about it.
No, Mom, I was supposed to have the afternoon off, but something came up, and I-I can't miss it.
Especially with me being up for partner.
Really, T? Waffles and ketchup? The ketchup brings out the taste of the blueberry.
Okay, uh Mm, pretty good.
Right? Mm, so, um.
Uh, it would just be for a couple of hours.
I would set up a play date for Theo Play date.
Chingu gache narayo.
Mom, I don't want to ask Eddie, because this is my time with Theo.
I know you don't think we should have, but we have.
You know what, Mom? I'll just ask someone else, okay? It's Fine.
Just need pickles.
You know what? That's what I was thinking.
- Gentlemen.
- Hey, Gare.
Sorry if what I said pissed you off, dude.
I was just trying to keep the peace at the tasting.
Dude, it's fine.
We're all grown men.
You can do whatever you want.
Maggie can do whatever she wants.
And I can do whatever I want.
In fact, I did something earlier that I may or may not regret later.
Hello, it's me.
You gonna tell us what it is? Remember our buddy Jon had a really hot assistant that I would occasionally think about having sexual intercourse with? [TV SHUTS OFF.]
You had sex with Ashley? [WHISPERS.]
Is that bad? Jon did say she was off-limits.
He also said life is short, be happy.
I mean, these are a lot of conflicting messages happening here.
Yeah, but, I mean, Jon's assistant? You had sex with his wife.
- You did have sex with his wife.
- [SIGHS.]
Are you at all worried about this? No.
Ashley's cool.
He's not talking about Ashley.
He's talking about Maggie.
Well, don't.
She ended things with me, remember? She's not just your ex.
Maggie's our friend.
That's right.
You guys have known Maggie for, what, 10 minutes, and now you're You're all best friends.
That's great.
I support it.
Uh, I just have one question for the friend group.
If you're so determined to have Maggie's back, how is it that you're just sitting there and watching her die? I mean, didn't we already lose one friend that way? I'm not giving this speech again.
No, sirs.
And you know what? It doesn't matter, because we got a game tonight.
We'll bury this, just like we bury everything.
Hell, we'll be making out before Pastrnak scores his first goal.
Hey, Gary.
I'm not gonna be able to make it tonight.
I've got to teach a guitar lesson.
- What? - ROME: Same here.
Gina got us Dave Matthews tickets.
I don't get it either.
It's like waiting three hours to hear "Ants Marching.
" What, are you guys kidding? 10 years, we missed one game, and that was because you had a baby, and I still haven't totally forgiven Theo for that.
Yeah, man, we It's not a big deal.
There's another game next week.
Yeah, and I can't wait to hear your excuse for that one.
Do you think maybe, just maybe, your reaction isn't proportionate? No, Ed, I think maybe your reaction is not proportionate.
When Jon was alive, we never missed a game.
Now we're gonna miss one so that you can go to a concert that you don't even want to go to and you can teach some acne-covered 12-year-old "Pinball Wizard.
" Wow.
One good thing about Jon not being alive is that he doesn't have to see this.
JON: Here.
- Well, put it on, 'cause otherwise you look like white Seal.
The singer, not the adorable animal.
Well, Seal did not have the beard of steel.
Can you believe this thing still hasn't fallen out? I'm hairless everywhere else.
Sorry for that visual, Linda.
Linda? What about me? [LAUGHING.]
- Oh! - Ah! Dixon goes rebound, goes right.
2 points, and the crowd goes wild! - [IMITATES CROWD.]
- KEVIN: Hey, Jon.
Hey, Kev.
Oh, none for me today.
I'm driving.
Yeah, okay.
- What's new? - Ah, not much, you know.
Oh, come on, Kev.
You know I won't be able to pass out, which means I'll be sitting here for the better part of three hours staring at a blank wall.
How 'bout you embellish this just a teeny bit? You know what? How about - No.
Kev - We just listen - Oh, yeah.
Give it to me.
- to some music.
No, no, no.
Oh, not this song again.
- KEVIN: Yep.
- If I die, I'm leaving you all my music.
- There you go.
- I know what this is.
I have died.
This is Hell.
Excuse me, Gary.
Trying to stay positive over here.
Are you, Linda? Because everything you're doing seems super negative to me.
Okay, okay, okay.
Come on.
Kev, sing it with me.
- Here we go.
- BOTH: Can we go back? This is the moment Tonight is the night We'll fight till it's over So we put our hands up Like the ceiling can't ld us What is that? Why are you doing that? Like the ceiling can't hold us This is the moment Tonight is the night We'll fight till it's over [VOMITS.]
Okay, okay.
It's all right.
It's all right, it's all right.
You're gonna beat this.
MAGGIE: What are you talking about? Hall and Oates is clearly the best duo of all time.
Says anyone who's never listened to Simon & Garfunkel.
- I - "Bridge over Troubled Water," "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" Both of which were written by Simon, not Garfunkel, - so you lose.
"Sound of Silence," "Old Friends"? ANDREW: I think even Oates would admit that Simon & Garfunkel are better.
Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop.
I'm I'm just a huge Simon & Garfunkel fan.
- Really? - Yeah.
If you had to pick just one song, what would it be? Uh "Maneater," no question about it.
Hey, um, I don't know what you're doing later, but I own this, uh, old-school bar downtown.
It's called Blind Dog Whiskey, and I think you'd love what's on the jukebox.
And if you come down, the first round will be on me.
I, um Oh, whoops.
I didn't I didn't realize you were already part of a duo.
Well, I don't know who your Garfunkel is, but he's a lucky guy.
What's up, Dad? What are you doing here? My daughter-in-law called me.
- Mwah.
- Mwah.
- How's it going, beautiful? - Great, gorgeous.
So, where's the sink that needs fixing? You called my dad? I thought you were gonna call the super.
Well, it's less weird when I hug your dad.
All right, I'm leaving.
Feel free to talk about how great I am when I'm gone.
- I love you.
- Love you.
Have fun.
Okay, uh It's the sink in the master bathroom, and I'll be out here if you need anything.
Oh, I'm not here to fix the sink, son.
I'm here to help you fix the sink.
Don't dawdle.
DELILAH: I don't know.
Part of me wonders if I should take the ring off.
- Uh-huh.
- And not because of that guy.
Just because of everything that's happened.
If I keep it on, I feel like I'm making the statement that my marriage was perfect.
And yet, if I take it off, I feel like it's just another example of me not being faithful to Jon.
So So we're not meeting Pump 6 for a drink.
The hell is that? You told me to get my tools.
How do you not have a proper tool box? You're a grown man and a homeowner.
And yet, somehow, I made it to today.
Day isn't over yet.
Get down here.
I'm not getting dirtier than you.
First things first.
Remove the old drain assembly.
Is this the point where I tell you that I don't know what the drain assembly is? It's right there by your hand.
Mom told me you quit the commercials.
You win the lottery and not tell your father? I'm writing.
Directing commercials didn't make me happy.
It's a job.
It's not supposed to make you happy.
Loosen that while I get the snake.
Oh! We should've had a bucket.
And now you'll never forget.
I'll get the snake.
Hello? Dad! - Buddy! - Hi.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Who is this? This is my new friend, Jack.
What's happening? Hey, where's Mom? Uh, she had to go to work.
Well, is Grandma here? HUNTER: All right, boys.
Here we go.
Two orders of TIE fighter-shaped grilled cheese.
- Hey, Eddie.
- Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hunter.
I remember.
Yeah, Katie just wanted me to cover until her mom got here.
Can I interest you in a TIE fighter-shaped grilled cheese? No, thanks.
GARY: No! - Hey, hey.
- Kevin.
- This you? - You're killing me.
- This is what's going to kill me.
- Yeah Let's go! No, let let's not go.
Let's stop.
All right.
All right, okay Unh, all right, okay All right, okay It's not all right.
It's not It's not okay.
Return of the Mack, get 'em, what it is What it does, what it is, what it isn't Looking for a better way to get up out of bed Instead of getting on the Internet And checking a new hit me, get up Thrift shop, pimp-strut walkin' Little bit of humble, little bit of cautious Somewhere between like Rocky and Cosby - You're an idiot.
- Sweater game, nope, nope Oh! And the crowd goes wild.
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
You almost smiled.
How's that for a view? It's the Cambridge side of the Charles, so you can pretend you went to Harvard with me.
Oh, Kev, did you hear that? Jon went to Harvard.
Oh, really? He'd like you to know that he went to Harvard.
It's Har Harvard.
Okay, two things.
One, you're not staring at a blank wall anymore.
And two, you're gonna beat this.
- Mm.
- You are.
Just watch.
You're gonna outlive me.
You're gonna be here long after I'm gone telling people You went to Harvard.
People need to know.
So get better, okay? As soon as you do, we're gonna rent one of those boats, and we're gonna go out on that water.
The only thing that's gonna make you vomit is seasickness or one too many mimosas.
Donny, if you pull the trigger now, you get nothing.
DONNY: How do I know that I'm gonna get something? No, I told you, the subway vote is back on.
I can't wait for that, Ashley.
Oh, really? After all the business that Jon has thrown your way, you're just gonna, what, sit there and screw his family over? Just let me Let me see what I can do.
Yeah, "see what you can do.
You wanna get a drink? Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
Uh, what are you doing here? Uh, the question is, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be watching our son.
Instead, I find him at home with your new boyfriend? [SCOFFS, SIGHS.]
First of all, Hunter's not my boyfriend.
He is a colleague who is graciously helping me out.
Second, this is my time with Theo.
Well I think the point is that we need to communicate better.
Like how I found out from Regina that Delilah's pregnant? [SIGHS.]
Look, I know the baby's Jon's.
I would have liked to have heard that from you.
You're right, and I'm sorry.
But Theo needs us, especially now, and when he can't be with you, I would like for him to be with me.
What? All I want is to be with him.
I got to get back to work.
Grief is complicated, and it's often exacerbated by external factors.
Every state, with the exception of Utah, is, um You know, th This is not about, um a study.
When I was 22, I lost my best friend My brother.
He was your age.
Any one of you could have been his friend, could have been the one to stop him from drinking and getting in that car, but you didn't.
And neither did I.
I'm ashamed to admit this, but when I first got that call, I felt relief.
I didn't have to keep checking my phone, wondering if it was gonna be the hospital saying that he hurt someone or himself, and that relief uh, just makes me feel worse.
I have so many feelings that I haven't processed because I am [SIGHS.]
too ashamed to admit that I have them.
And that is complicated bereavement.
Partner blazer.
Oh, that's right.
The big interview is today.
So, when they put your name on the door, you still gonna talk to me? [SIGHS.]
Okay, what happened? Where'd you go? [SIGHING.]
Uh, I don't know.
Every day since law school, I've been working so hard to make partner, and now it's on my doorstep.
How do I take it, knowing it'll pull me away from Theo even more? You know what I would do? Trust your gut.
It continues to amaze me.
That settles it.
If I make partner, I'll still talk to you.
GARY: All right, let's do this.
We're gonna party! Cancer-free, one year, people.
Thank you very much.
Sorry if that's too much information, but it's true.
Seriously, let's get crazy.
Oh, what exactly is crazy? Dancing on the bar? Mm, not with those heels, and not with this body.
What else do we got? Shots? Are shots still a thing? Can we get two shots of tequila? Something nice? Oh, in fact, shots for everybody.
Wow, my voice really carries.
Maybe, um, take it down a shelf for the rest of the group? Thanks, man.
And - To? - Remission.
- Living.
- You know - Mm.
When I was going through chemo, I was pretty convinced I was gonna die.
But Jon was so determined.
Never seen him fight harder to close a deal.
Told me I was gonna outlive him, that I would be around long after he was gone reminding people that he Oh, my God.
- Gary.
- Oh, my God.
Do you think he was telling me? There's no way Jon was planning it for that long.
That was a year ago.
That's crazy.
Right? Was he trying to tell me? I ask myself the same thing every day.
What did we miss, Ashley? What didn't we see? Is there a side to Jon that we didn't know, or at least that I didn't know? I mean, you were on every call.
You saw everything.
Hell, you knew my chemo schedule better than I did.
Was there anything, any sign? Was he having financial troubles? Do Do you think Think he was having an affair? I wasn't gonna say anything, and and look, maybe this isn't anything to begin with.
But did Jon ever mention a Barbara Morgan? No.
Outside of Delilah, you're the only woman in his life.
Who is Barbara Morgan? I don't know.
He He just kicked me off a call one time, and he's only done that a handful of times.
I'm sure it's nothing.
I Just I'm looking for answers, too.
Just take a break, all right, 'cause the Bruins are gonna take the ice in 15 minutes.
The guys bailed on me.
Would you like to go to the game? I saw your key chain.
I didn't realize you were a fan.
Yeah, sure.
- Great.
Take your call.
I'm gonna take a leak.
Unless you think that's gross, in which case, just pretend I didn't say it.
Say what? Hello? Yeah, I'm with him.
Love it.
Man, I ate a banana.
I'm full of potassium.
What's next on the lesson plan, Pop? What are these? Dad I tried, man.
I I tried to be the man you taught me to be.
I tried not to ask for help Help for what? Sometimes I get really sad for no reason.
Actually, a lot of times.
I have clinical depression.
I've had it for a while.
I know that you you You want to teach me how to fix the sink, but me taking those pills, quitting my job, that's me trying to fix me.
Do they help? Y My doctor says it's a process, but they T-they seem to be.
So you're seeing a shrink? Yes.
It's something I need to do.
Nice job with the sink.
I had no idea about your brother.
Is he the reason why you don't drive? You know, it's taken me almost six years to even be able to say that stuff out loud.
There are things I don't think I'll ever be able to say out loud.
When I first met you, you said what you needed was a time machine.
Where would you go if you had one? I I'd go back two years ago.
That's That's when I lost him, when he became distant and buried himself in work.
He shut me out.
Everybody thinks that I cheated on Jon, but He left me.
He left me two years ago for reasons I just I still don't understand.
And then he just He left me again seven weeks ago, not for someone, just for nothing.
When you asked me why I wasn't ready to take my ring off earlier 'cause I should have either taken it off two years ago or fought for him.
HENRY: And so, Katherine, I'll make this quick.
We couldn't be more thrilled to welcome you as the newest partner at Newman, Duffy, and Han.
- Congratulations.
- That is amazing.
I've wanted this for so long.
I would be thrilled to accept.
I just have one request.
I know it's unusual, but it's non-negotiable.
Every night, from 6:00 to 8:00, I need to be off the grid.
I'll work long into the night, every day, like I have for the past nine years.
But I need to be home for dinner with my son every night.
Well We'll need to discuss it with the partner committee.
Of course.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
GARY: Now Rask's not gonna be in goal tonight.
- Thank you.
- That's fantastic.
You know, it doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.
We're still gonna win.
You got to support your B's, am I right? Why are we at my place? I just need to make one quick stop.
Oh, Ash, I I'm sorry.
You know what? I think I've misled you about what this is and Oh.
Oh, Gary, no.
I think I may have misled you.
ALL: Surprise! EDDIE: All right! One year cancer-fr! Whoo! DELILAH: Take that, cancer! [LAUGHS.]
- Happy remission! - All right! - One year cancer-free! - Happy remission! [SCOFFS.]
Okay, wait wait a minute.
Just wait a minute.
You You said you had a guitar lesson.
"Pinball Wizard.
" That is this lesson.
And all this time, you've been saying you had to go to Dave Matthews? Let's be clear.
I am never going to see Dave Matthews.
This This is amazing.
What's amazing is getting us all together to finally celebrate something happy.
You didn't have to do all this.
That's what makes it such a sweet gesture.
EDDIE: Right? By the way, Rome, I love Dave Matthews.
Dave Matthews is actually talented.
ROME: I hate knowing Dave Matthews.
Speech! - Speech! - What? [APPLAUSE.]
Uh I just, uh Excuse me.
Not exactly sure what's going on in that head of yours.
But I just wanted to say that I love you, and I'm happy you're still on this planet.
Thanks, D.
But he should be here, too.
Word on the street is you've been storming out of rooms a lot today.
What? No.
I'm just trying to get my 10,000 steps.
You're allowed to be angry.
You're allowed to feel whatever Whatever it is that you feel.
So, this is the widow helping the friend grieve? [SCOFFS.]
It's not my best moment.
All I'm saying is, we all have different ways of coping.
Here's mine.
Oh, God.
Okay, you guys want a speech? Here we go.
Here's a speech.
Thank you all very much for this party.
It's amazing.
Probably doesn't seem like I mean that, but I do, truly.
I just Apparently, I'm angry right now, right? Shocker.
And I am.
I'm I'm I'm unbelievably angry, but not at you.
You guys have all been amazing.
I mean, should we have scalped the Bruins tickets? Probably.
You get it.
Katherine, you took off work.
That never happens.
Thank you.
This is all [SIGHS.]
so sweet.
But I'm so angry at the person who is not here.
I am so angry at Jon.
And you yeah, you You gave the eulogy, and that was crazy, because everybody knows that I'm funnier.
But it was beautiful, and you knocked it out of the park.
And I'm glad it was you because, you know You know what would have happened if it was me? I would've done this.
EDDIE: Gary, no! I would've done that! And I would've talked about how Jon fought so hard to help me live and how he came to the treatment center so often that the other patients thought that he had cancer, too.
You, Jon, you You went through the whole thing with me, and you convinced me You convinced me to live, and then you left me.
We were supposed to go on these little boats together.
That's so stupid.
We made plans, and I thought they were the same plans, and apparently they were not.
That's what I get for making plans.
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
What are you doing? Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize you were off your call.
Hey, two-player.
Come on.
All right.
You may have beaten cancer today, Gary, but you're not gonna beat me.
Correction We beat cancer.
Actually, I beat cancer.
You just got skinny and bald.
Oh, my God! The game hasn't even started, and there's already a fight breaking out.
- Whoa! - [NORMAL VOICE.]
Aah! [LAUGHS.]
I forgot, you were on the pillow-fighting team at Harvard.
No, I was on the wrestling team at Harvard.
You were the captain of the pillow-fight Oh, oh, what is this? [IVAN & ALYOSHA'S "THE FOLD" PLAYS.]
All the years that you have wasted Now you want 'em all back REGINA: Pretty good.
Right? Next time, I'll call the super.
Long ago, you stopped counting Thank you.
How are you feeling? Because you couldn't keep track You know I met the most amazing man of my life when I was 30 seconds old.
He doesn't get my life.
And it's hard, you know, 'cause An oasis in the desert I wanted him to be okay with this, and he's not.
Where the waters run clear [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
I've spent my whole life And the only way to see it proud to be his son, and Is to believe that it's there I just want him to be proud to be my dad.
Well, we all must fight our battles Here's the deal, babe.
I get that you want him to respect you.
No matter where you came But he's not gonna be able to do that until you respect yourself.
And you did that today.
It'll come in time.
I am so proud of you.
You're the only one to blame Don't you fold When the mountain is high When the river is wide Don't you fold When you're out of your mind Yeah, when you're walking around And all this time I was living a lie I was lost and petrified But I know that things Could change in time All the years dreams can buy Between the heart and the mind But don't you fold When the mountain is high When the river runs dry Don't you fold KATHERINE: It's too sticky.
THEO: Just needs more flour.
Ah, perfect, perfect.
Theo, you're allowed to be my assistant.
When you're walking the line Best Chewbacca voice gets to crank the dough first.
Ready? Go.
- When the river is wide - THEO: Nice.
What can I say? The Force is strong in me.
- Don't you fold - [LAUGHS.]
Is this the call? - Yeah.
- Good luck.
Yeah, when you're walking the line Hi, Henry.
Katherine, we would love to make you partner.
That is great.
But we can't accept your condition.
We need someone who is fully committed to the job.
Now, you think about it tonight, let me know in the morning? I will.
So, what'd he say? He said I didn't make partner.
Then why are you smiling? 'Cause I just got my life back.
Hey, Keith.
I thought about it.
Let's do it.
Hey, you're looking good.
Let me know if you need anything else, okay? Na-na, na-na, na-na-na Thanks.
Mack-le-eh-eh-eh-eh-more Can we go back? This is the moment Tonight is the night We'll fight till it's over So we put our hands up Like the ceiling can't hold us