Adam Ruins Everything (2015) s03e02 Episode Script

Adam Ruins a Sitcom

1 [CANNED LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE.]
[ANNOUNCER.]
"One of Each" is filmed before a live studio audience.
Honey, I'm home Ah, gosh darn it! Every time! Put it with the others, Ricky.
[CANNED LAUGHTER.]
I've heard of "pop and lock", but ever since you guys adopted me, it's more like "Pops endslocks.
" Oh! Oh![CANNED LAUGHTER.]
Trey, stop that.
Real men don't dance.
It's so emotional.
Yuck! According to my calculations, Trey, you didn't finish your math homework yet.
We're gonna be late for Denise's pool party.
Whatchu talkin' about, Computer? Inviting a black guy to a pool party is like inviting you to a coolparty.
[ROBOT VOICE.]
Does not compute.
[GROANS.]
[LADDER THUDS.]
Actually sitcoms like this one sure love making jokes about stereotypes.
But the roots of these stereotypes are no laughing matter.
Cut![BELL RINGS.]
What're you doing? This is comedy gold.
Ehh, more like comedy lead.
Let me bring in my own writer and researcher to show you what's what.
We got new scripts.
Lotta changes.
What're you talking about? We don't need to change a thing.
Are you kidding me? Our show's terrible.
Come on, every sitcom could use a wacky new neighbor.
Fine, but I'm not paying for any overtime.
Deal! Hi, I'm Adam Conover, and this is a very special episode of "Adam Ruins Everything.
" Closed Captions Provided by truTV Oh, money! Oh-ho![GROANS.]
Trey, it isn't fair.
Guys like you are all great at basketball.
It's like you have a gift for it or something.
Oh, yeah, you know a little gift melanin.
[CANNED LAUGHTER.]
[AUDIENCE WHISTLING.]
Speaking of skin, Trey, why aren't you at my pool party showing some? [AUDIENCE GASPING.]
Computer, what am I gonna do? I can't go to a pool party, I'm black! [CANNED LAUGHTER.]
You know black people can't swim.
Time out![WHISTLE BLOWING.]
Boy, TV comedies like this sure love making jokes about black stereotypes.
Yeah, they're hilarious.
Maybe to you, but these jokes aren't so funny when you realize that these stereotypes have a really dark history.
Yeah, and while many Americans know this story all too well, apparently some of us still need to hear it.
Black people don't have some natural inability to swim.
The truth is, for decades, they weren't allowed to.
Time in![WHISTLE BLOWING.]
Hey, guys, you know what's even cooler than a pool party? A history of pools party.
Okay, Wack Morris.
Let's hear it.
In the 1920s and '30s, the government built thousands of new public pools.
But they were mostly in white neighborhoods.
And until 1964, Southern segregation laws barred black swimmers from using them.
No pool for you! [ADAM.]
And segregation wasn't just a Southern thing.
Cities like Pittsburgh actively encouraged attacks on black swimmers, and looked the other way when white citizens posted armed guards at pools.
[CANNED LAUGHTER.]
[ADAM.]
And when brave civil rights activists fought back with swim-ins, they were met by angry white mobs who would beat them, or even throw acid in the pools.
Now that there's acid in this pool, only I can swim in it! Oh, wait [CANNED LAUGHTER.]
That really happened? Yep.
Oh, it's [BLEEP.]
up.
Even after desegregation, cities would shut their pools down rather than let them integrate.
Or they'd just let the funding dry up once more black swimmers started using the pool.
Finally, civil rights! We can drink from any water fountain we want, and swim in any p White people are leaving.
Pool's closed.
Shut it down! [CANNED LAUGHTER.]
This is some bullshit.
Yep, and the result of that bullshit is that swimming never became a part of black culture.
Today, 70% of black Americans don't know how to swim.
And according to the CDC, black 11 year olds are ten times more likely to drown than white 11 year olds.
But that's not because of natural ability, it's because of access and opportunity.
The same is true of basketball.
From the 1920s through the '50s, basketball was actually the most popular sport among poor Jewish people in urban neighborhoods.
That's because the equipment is relatively inexpensive, and it doesn't require a field.
As a result, in the early years of the NBA the league was dominated by Jewish players.
Shenkman! [CANNED APPLAUSE.]
But many Americans made racist assumptions about why Jewish people had a "natural advantage".
Boy, all you Jews are good at basketball.
It must be because of your naturally scheming mind, artful dodging, and general smart alecness.
[CANNED LAUGHTER.]
Yeesh.
As Jewish people were permitted to assimilate into white culture and moved out of the inner cities, black people moved in and started playing more basketball.
But again, many people assumed it was all about race.
Wow all you black people are good at basketball.
It must be because of your natural advantage.
[CANNED LAUGHTER.]
The reality is your ethnic heritage doesn't make you inherently good or bad at anything.
Far more important is access and opportunity.
You're right, I gotta tell Denise the truth.
If you wanna talk to me, Trey, how about we go someplace we can be alone? Like the deep end? - [AUDIENCE WHISTLING.]
- No, no, Denise, look.
I gotta tell you something.
I never learned how to swim.
A lot of black people haven't.
But it it's not because we can't or anything.
It's because of decades of violent, systemic racial oppression.
Oh! Trey, I had no idea.
Maybe I should give you a lesson.
[CANNED LAUGHTER.]
It's a sitcom, they always have a cheesy ending.
Trey, no hanging out with Denise until after you've finished your math homework.
Why can't you be more like Computer? I bet he finished weeks ago.
[CANNED LAUGHTER.]
Yikes, that stereotype has a really sinister history too.
[BOING.]
My hair protected me.
[CANNED LAUGHTER.]
[CANNED APPLAUSE.]
Boy, I'm sure glad we left the pool party, Trey.
Math homework is way more fun! Computer, that's the first thing you've ever said that doesn'tadd up.
[CANNED LAUGHTER.]
You're so studious, Computer.
Trey, you could learn a thing or two from his people.
They're very wise.
[CANNED LAUGHTER.]
Whoa, time out![WHISTLE BLOWING.]
Here we go again! TV and movies are rampant with Asian stereotypes.
Especially the idea that Asian people are some kind of "model minority.
" Smart, successful, polite, obedient, and of course, inherently good at math.
What's the big deal? Those are all compliments.
Well, these "compliments" actually originated in a government propaganda campaign.
And not too long ago, white Americans actually thought the exact opposite.
Time in![WHISTLE BLOWING.]
In the mid-1800s, Americans were so hostile to Chinese people, the country passed laws banning Chinese immigration and denying their freedoms.
They were stereotyped as a lazy, opium-addicted, menacing horde dubbed the "yellow peril.
" [GUITAR RIFF.]
But you're old Uncle Sammy didn't stop there.
Uncle Sammy! Uncle Sammy! [CANNED APPLAUSE.]
[ADAM.]
Yeah, Uncle Sammy hasn't been such a cool uncle.
Because of anti-Asian racism during World War II, the United States interned Japanese Americans in concentration camps.
Hey, it's our Japanese friend Kenji from up the street! Oh, that's not your friend.
That's a spy who wants to kill Americans.
[CANNED LAUGHTER.]
Uncle Sammy, why didn't you do that to German Americans in World War II? Yeah, I wonder - Because they're white.
- Because they're white.
But all that changed when the US needed to suck up to its Asian allies during the Cold War.
See, as the Soviet Union rose to power, the US worried that Soviet propaganda was making communism sound "dyno-mite".
[RUSSIAN ACCENT.]
America is so racist, am I right? It's like, hey, USA, cut it out! Woof.
Guess I better "have mercy" on these Asians.
So America embarked on a propaganda campaign to tout Asian American success stories.
The State Department highlighted Asian-American artists, politicians, and even sent an all Chinese-American basketball team on tour overseas.
Forget all that nastiness earlier, America loves our Asian sports heroes.
And in 1965, Congress approved a landmark immigration law that ditched racist restrictions.
But it gave preference to immigrants who had training, talent, or skill sets that would benefit the US economy.
[SPEAKER FEEDBACK.]
Sammy and The Rippers are changing their tune.
Border's now open for smart, successful Asian immigrants.
[GUITAR RIFF.]
Wow! Now that I've let all these educated, successful Asians into America, I've gotta say, Asian-Americans sure are successful and educated.
[WILD GUITAR RIFF.]
[CANNED LAUGHTER.]
So American went from a country that despised Asians to one that held them up as a shining example of assimilation.
And this self-fulfilling prophecy resulted in the "model minority" myth.
And the most sinister part of this myth is it was used to put other minorities down.
And it's still holding people back today.
Oh, it's our very special guest star, professor of history at Indiana University Ellen Wu.
[CANNED APPLAUSE.]
Why did I need to use the ladder, Adam? Aren't we on the ground floor? It's a sitcom thing.
In the 1960s, government officials looked at socio-economic data from African American communities and contrasted it to the so-called "family values and stability" of Asian Americans.
Now, this fueled racist claims that black people had no one to blame but themselves if they experienced poverty and other social disadvantages.
Conservatives went on to use these claims to justify making cuts to many essential social programs for African Americans and other disadvantaged minority groups.
They were even used to argue against civil rights.
Come on, you don't see Computer complaining about "fair and equal protection".
Asians earned their place in this country.
Why can't you? Wh what? No! Uncle Sammy, you helped Asian people.
Why can't you see that? And the model minority myth hurts Asian people too.
If an Asian American student is struggling in school, many teachers assume that they don't really need extra help.
And it's not true that all Asians are crazy rich and successful.
The poverty rate for Asian Americans is actually higher than the national average.
And frankly, it's kinda ridiculous that we lump people from so many different backgrounds together as "Asian.
" Yeah, Asian people are not a monolith.
Trey, you and your multi-ethnic adopted parents keep referring to me as your "smart Asian neighbor.
" Specifically, I am Korean American and, sure, I'm smart, but I also love Ultimate Frisbee.
Why doesn't anybody talk about that? [CANNED APPLAUSE.]
You know what? This is messed up.
Computer's a person who contains multitudes, and probably has a real name.
You know what, Uncle Sammy? This is all your fault.
- Get out of my room.
- Whoa, watch the hair! [CANNED LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE.]
Aww, wipe your tears, you sissy.
Good for you two.
About time you found your cajones and stood up for yourselves like real men.
Oh, Rick, we have gotta discuss that stereotype [CANNED LAUGHTER.]
[CHOKING.]
Before it's too late! Are you sure you don't want help fixing the doorknob, Rick? [SCOFFING.]
Real man like Rick can fix his own knob.
You worry about fixing dinner.
[CANNED LAUGHTER.]
[MAN CACKLING.]
Pork Chop! Great to see you, buddy.
[GRUNTING.]
[BOTH CHUCKLING.]
Ah, you all ready for the annual big hang in your garage, Rick? Oh, I can't wait to tell you all about my motorcycle.
Nothing about it is different from last time.
Heck yeah! Knockin' bottles of beer down and bottling our emotions up! [MEN LAUGHING.]
Sorry Mr.
Chop, but the hard-living, emotion-stifling version of manliness promoted by sitcoms like yours is actually making men weaker.
According to the most recent data, the average American man dies five years earlier than women.
[RICK.]
Aw, that's just biology.
Men's bodies get worn out - from carrying around muscles all day long.
- Yeah! Wrong again.
Men are 3.
9 times more likely to experience accidental death, the leading causes of which are behaviors typically celebrated as "masculine", like drinking and careless driving.
All right! Drinking lots, driving fast, and dying young! That's what being a man's all about, right, Rick? [CANNED LAUGHTER.]
[ADAM.]
Yeah that's what advertisers would like you to think.
Alcohol and cigarette ads disproportionately target men with the idea that drinking and smoking are "manly.
" [DEEP VOICE.]
After a long, manly day at my hard, manly job, - I like to watch football - [MEN GRUNTING.]
crack some beers[CAN OPENING.]
and smoke these cancer sticks.
[ANNOUNCER.]
He's the most manipulative man in the world.
[SCOFFING.]
Oh, come on! Men aren't being manipulated to do anything.
[CANNED LAUGHTER.]
And men's health is also at higher risk because of what we're conditioned notto do, like take care of ourselves with regular doctors visits.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
House call, Rick.
Did you know men are twice as likely as women to wait over two years between doctor's visits? [CANNED LAUGHTER.]
[SCOFFING.]
Last time I saw a doctor, he was pulling me out of my mom's "hoo-ha.
" [PORK CHOP LAUGHING.]
And how 'bout this, Mr.
"GQ"? That's an insult because you're wearing fancy pants.
You ever think that maybe men are dying earlier because we're so stressed out from having to support our families? Yeah, I'm under a lot of pressure working full-time at the tool store to feed a multi-cultural family of three plus our smart Asian neighbor.
[ADAM.]
That's understandable.
Being the sole breadwinner for a family would take a toll on anyone, which may be why studies have shown men fare better physically and mentally when the financial and caretaking responsibilities in a relationship are shared.
Rick, the tool store says they need you to come in.
But you worked all week, how about I go down there? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You better watch out there, Rick.
Lettin' your wife work is gonna destroy your marriage.
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE.]
"Not tonight, honey.
I'm too focused on my career.
" [CANNED LAUGHTER.]
Pork Chop, that's not true at all.
Studies show that on average, couples with a female breadwinner actually report being happier.
I don't know.
If I wasn't the one putting food on my table, I'd feel I let my family down or something.
Or I'd worry they'd think that.
[SIGHS.]
Well I think a lot of men feel that way, Rick.
Men and women are under such intense pressure to conform to the stereotypical gender roles, it's natural to have conflicted feelings about deviating from them.
Oh, here we go with the feelings talk.
Next he's gonna say men need pedicures and book clubs.
[CANNED LAUGHTER.]
I mean, why not? Don't men deserve to take time for ourselves and have meaningful friendships? Yeah, of course.
Well, studies show that boys feel pressure to abandon intimate male friendships as they get older because they grow self conscious that that's not how men are supposed to behave.
Nah, not me and Pork Chop.
We've been best friends forever.
[ADAM.]
Aw, look at that.
You two literally grew apart.
Whoa, you don't wanna let anyone ever know that you once hugged another man, okay? That is weird.
Pork Chop, despite the fact that we socialize men to reject intimacy, men need close friendships.
We all do! Whoa! Loneliness is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
And having strong social connections is just as important for reducing heart disease as eating right and exercising.
But despite that, just 9% of men report feeling that they can rely on friends for support.
Pork Chop, we gotta start opening up to each other before our bodies start breaking down.
[SCOFFING.]
No way.
I'm outta here.
[AUDIENCE GASPING.]
Uh, Chop? Oh, I guess those are my stifled feelings coming out.
[CANNED LAUGHTER.]
[RETCHING.]
[AUDIENCE GASPING.]
What's happening to him? Don't worry, guys, I see this all the time.
Hey, that's former NFL cornerback Wade Davis.
I wanna teach you both a term that really captures what we're talking about here.
"Toxic masculinity.
" Toxic masculinity doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with being a man.
It's about the narrow expectations of masculinity that society places on us and that we place on ourselves.
These expectations negatively impact men, our partners, our kids, everyone around us.
Many experts believe that toxic masculinity is one of the root causes when men are psychologically aggressive or commit domestic violence, sexual assault, or even mass shootings.
Plus, having to "act like a man" all the time is just so restrictive.
We were all brought up believing that the only way to be a real man is to live out this stereotype, but it's not true.
There are so many different ways for us to be men if we choose to be.
But you make it sound so easy.
Well, Rick, I don't think it's easy for anyone.
It definitely wasn't for me.
But one thing that men can do is start reflecting on where these ideas of manhood even come from.
Personally, I learned a lot by reading and listening to women.
And I have to add I couldn't have thought through these issues without the help of the women who work on our show.
[CANNED APPLAUSE.]
And none of us are perfect.
It takes a lot of work to unlearn how you've been socialized.
But there's actually a lot of strength in being vulnerable.
If we can model that vulnerability and hold each other accountable when we see other men performing hurtful behavior, that's how we can take the first step.
You're right.
Pork Chop, I don't think the cracks you've been making about Carmen are appropriate.
And I think you should start examining why you think it's okay to say things like that.
[NERVOUS CHUCKLING.]
I don't know.
I guess I owe her an apology.
You too.
I'm sorry, Rick.
I'm sorry, Carmen.
Rick, I hope you haven't felt like you have to be some big, strong, tough guy for me.
No, Carmen, it's not you.
It's everything.
After I take Chop to the hospital, I could do a few loads of laundry.
Yeah.
'Cause we're all in this together.
[CANNED APPLAUSE.]
[MUFFLED.]
I love you, Rick.
Okay, that's enough.
[BELL RINGING.]
This is terrible, you ruined the show.
Actually, this is gonna make your show better.
Let's just finish the sc Wade, thank you so much for being on our sitcom, we really appreciate it.
We're family, brother.
Thank you for having me.
You're the perfect person to talk to us about this, because you used to play for the NFL.
But now you're known for your work on race, gender, toxic masculinity.
So you've talked a lot about how feminist books are what helped you begin to reexamine gender roles.
If I wanted to read one of those books now, what should I start with? So if there's one book, READ THIS BELL HOOKS BOOK: "FEMINIST THEORY: From Margin to Center".
So what I learned was that the root of homophobia was sexism, and that changed my entire life.
I was like, "Wow, everything that I've thought that was about men was actually about women.
" When we're calling other men sexist or homophobic terms, we're really talking about women.
But when we're doing that, we're unnecessarily limiting the range of things that men can be.
Yeah, and you also always put a woman or "acting like a woman" in the pejorative sense, right? [ADAM.]
Yeah.
If I do anything that can be perceived as feminine or perceived that women do, that it is a negative, awful thing.
And then that makes men specifically only have a very tiny window of how we can show up in the world.
And that feels suffocating.
How can men get over that and start having real conversations with each other? The number one thing I tell men to do is just be honest with themselves first, right? I could never be honest with you, Adam, as another human being if I'm never honest with myself first, right? I think when it comes to gender equality, we have to own the fact that we have been socialized to believe certain things about women which impacts what we think about gay men, about trans folks, right? Like, can we actually learn about people who aren't like us and then we immediately learn about ourselves.
Well, I'm really appreciative that you're out there talking about it and helping widen people's perspectives on this.
You've widened mine, and, uh, yeah, - thank you so much for coming on the show.
- Thank you for having me.
Gee, it seems likefor having me.
We've all been feeling boxed in by stereotypes.
Yeah.
You know, maybe it's time that we stopped looking at ourselves as "one of each" and more like a group of individuals who refuse to be reduced by their racial and gender stereotypes.
That we're created by cultural and historical forces way beyond our control.
Kind of like this very sitcom.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING.]
This script is awful.
You took the funny out of these characters and you spent the whole episode deconstructing them.
And you completely de-spiced my spicy Latina.
Oh, yeah, that's a whole stereotype we didn't even have time to get into.
Man, this 21-minute runtime is restrictive.
Ehh, I was just happy to get to put down the maracas for one episode.
Oh, jeez, everyone's so sensitive these days.
Comedy doesn't need to change.
Funny is funny.
Actually, comedy can and should evolve with our culture, and it has many times.
Like today, we know that blackface isn't funny.
But it used to be so popular, even megastars like Bob Hope, Mae West, and Judy Garland did it.
Oh, I had the most marvelous dream.
You were there, and you, and you, and we were all in blackface.
And in retrospect, that was terrible.
So you're saying people realized it was hurtful, they stopped doing it, and comedy survived? Well, not everybody stopped.
Look, the jokes we choose to tell and the characters we write don't just reflect our cultural values, they have the power to influence them too.
So what do you want the audience to see when they watch your show? Tired, old, reductive clichés, or themselves as they really are? [TRIUMPHANT MUSIC.]
Nah, I'll just cancel it.
[BELL RINGING.]
I told you.
[POWER SHUTTING DOWN.]
[BLEEP.]
you, man.
I'm out of a job now.
S sorry, everybody.
This set is pretty cool, isn't it? I love it.
W do you think this is an authentic set to a teenage boy? Do I? Yeah.
Well, I have pre-teen boys, um, and their room is a lot messier.
[LAUGHING.]
So this is actually pretty tidy.
This is like this is like a sitcom boys room, I think.
Um, well, so the model minority myth is kind of a specific stereotype that's That's usually put on, you know, some groups of Asian Americans, not others.
There are other stereotypes that affects other Asian Americans, right? So the one I can think of is As the most significant right now since 9/11 has been the stereotype of, you know, Muslims as being terrorists.
[ADAM.]
Right.
And a lot of South Asians, you know, Arab Americans - A lot of South Asians are Muslims.
- Right.
So I think that stereotypes in the American society for racial minorities, you're only typecast in very few ways.
But even those Those stereotypes are not even internally consistent.
Like, if someone says, "Asian Americans, they're all like this.
" Well, except for the stereotype that you're applying to a different group of people who are of Asian descent.
The very idea of stereotyping people in that way doesn't hold up if you look at it with the smallest critical eye.
Yeah, I think the problem just seems to be assumptions about people, you know? Whether it's about being a math-wiz or whether it's about being, like, a criminal? Those assumptions really have real consequences.
Yeah.
But the most useful thing we can do is to understand where they came from or why they exist.
Then it's like, what do we do with that information? I think it's up to each of us.
Thank you for coming on the show to help make us more aware of this.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Thank you, it was a lot of fun.

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