Adult Material (2020) s01e01 Episode Script


Why does she do this to me? How we doing? I'm so sorry.
You're like the sexiest woman in the world to me.
I literally wank over you every night.
I dunno what's - Don't you inject? - All right, lovely! - Neil - Lee.
Just, ertake a minute, eh? Sort yourself out.
Sabs, go and get a bite to eat or something.
Hello, baby! Hi, babes.
Mwah! Are you finished? He don't inject.
Fuck sake.
Do you know what I mean, though? - Late again, Jo.
- I got a flat tyre! Oh, of course you did.
Well, go on.
I wanna be ready in 15.
Jesus' nads! She used to work in Pret A Manger.
Makes you think, doesn't it? Oi, love you.
Love you too, darling.
Now, stir those stubs.
What's that, mate? Wet string? Is your chest still bad, babe? Ugh, a bit.
Dave made me soup.
Jo, this is Amy.
She wanted to say hello.
Hi, sweetheart.
I like your top.
Where's that from? Aw, is itRiver Island.
I dunno.
It's nice.
It really suits you.
You take two of these now.
Two in four hours.
When you get home, boil the kettle, towel over your head, a drop of Olbus Oil, spoonful of honey and an early night.
OK? - OK.
- Promise me? I said OK! She loves me really.
I can't help it, I'm a mummy.
Amy's shooting with you later.
- She's, like, two hours early.
- Aww! Have you ever shot with Bang Cherry before? - She's never shot with anyone before.
- Oh.
Oh, you'll be great.
Did you want a coffee? No, thanks.
I've got this.
- What's that? - Hot chocolate with hazelnut syrup.
Oh, very good.
All the food groups.
I like sweet things.
Sabs can you please just give the poor bastard a hand? So we can all get home before midnight.
Good luck! Sabs, sorry about this, babe Sorry! Staring.
It's just my boyfriend worships you.
Aww! -So, this is your first shoot, is it? - Yeah.
I'm a dancer.
I was in Spice Up Your Life.
It's a Spice Girls tribute band.
I was playing Scary but it's just so weird, cos I'm so much more of a Baby.
Yeah, that is weird.
But I wanna get more into, like, choreography, because .
as a dancer, your career ends basically when you're, like, 35.
Right, yeah.
Same here! So, how come you wanted to get into this, then? Tore a meniscus, haven't I? - Have you? - Yeah.
I won't have to do kneeling, will I? I can go on all fours.
I just can't put my weight on this knee, cos then it'll set the physio back Sorry.
Sorry, it's just I can't believe this.
You're Jolene Dollar.
I wasn't just saying that.
I actually I can't kneel.
Oh, no.
Of course.
I love sex.
Who'd you have to fuck to get a cuppa tea round here? Well, that is a good place to start.
What it is, we got the planning permission, but because the work's taking so long, the neighbours have built this like conservatory.
Oh, so they were overlooked, were they? Yeah, we'd to take the whole Velux out and move it again.
- Did you? - Yeah, it was a nightmare.
Do the whites tonight, colours in the morning, hang them out before the school run, get that mince out the freezer for tonight, iron Phoebe's shirts.
Mind your backs, then.
Watch yourself.
Turn over.
And action.
Ooh, yeah.
My account number? 12th of April 1985.
What's the pop shot? Facial.
Still rolling.
All right.
Go for it, mate.
Aw, you're a star.
Your tits look so good today, Nads! Yeah, all right.
Well done, babe.
Aw, cheers.
Are you happy? Now, there's a question.
You met Amy? I did.
She can't kneel.
She has to kneel.
It's the key shot.
Well, she can't.
So don't make her.
You coming to Carroll's on Sunday? No.
- Sunday's family day.
- Bring 'em.
He's got some American talent over.
Wants to impress them.
He said you were mandatory.
So you're not asking me, you're telling me.
Who is it? Tom Pain.
You know him? No.
No, I don't know him.
I've met him I don't know him.
Why's he coming over? Well, Carroll's mates with him, isn't he? And Tom's with Hazewire, same as Carroll.
Hazewire want them to shoot some content together.
Vertical integration, innit? Are you all right? No, just I didn't think that Carroll would be mates with someone like Tom.
You know he vomits in girls' mouths? He dresses them up as little girls and puts braces on Yeah, they look young.
Yeah, they LOOK about 11.
They're meant to look about 11.
Some of them actually say, "I am 11.
" He's on my No List.
Well, I think I got that.
Dave, we're ready for you.
Aww, no joy? Right, slip these down for me, cos you don't want marks before we shoot.
And is your mascara waterproof, yeah? So, I've been thinking about my name.
Yeah? Close your eyes.
Yeah, um I was thinking Hailey something? Just cos when I was little, I always wanted to be called Hailey.
Just I love that name.
That's my real name.
- Is it?! - Yeah.
- Oh, my God - Close your eyes.
Sorry, but how old are you? Thank God for Botox.
But you don't need to worry about all that.
I didn't start till I was about 24, 25.
The last home I was in, one of the workers had so much Botox the younger kids just, like, freaked out whenever she was on-duty.
Right, we're ready to start soft-core stills.
Er, Amy, we'll start with you first.
Good luck, baby.
Where's stepmum? Jo! Did you consent to everything that happened during the shoot today? Yes.
Were you hurt in any way during the shoot? No.
Did you feel like you were raped during the shoot? No.
No! - Sorry.
- It's all right.
They have to ask.
Oh, my God Thank you so much! Seriously, that was like You were brilliant.
Least you got it in the end.
- Took 40 minutes to come.
- That's just rude.
I can look for someone.
Hey, baby.
What's up? We've got another scene to shoot.
Chantelle's just rung.
Some shit about her Fallopian tubes bursting.
I thought Amy might want a go.
But she's not sure.
What's the scene? It's her first day, mate.
I know, I know.
I mean, if you don't fancy it, it's totally I mean Nobody's gonna hold it against you.
Can you guys just give us a second? Meet you in the car, babe.
See ya later.
Bye, baby.
Dave meant that, you know? They're all sound.
No-one's gonna be cross if you don't wanna do it.
Uhh how much d'you get for it? Well, you have to factor in depreciation.
First time you do it you get extra.
And after that it's just your flat day rate.
What do you get? I don't do it.
I mean, I do.
I do it, but I don't I won't do it on camera.
It's different when I started, though.
Long-term, now when you're starting out, you don't have to do it.
But it is gonna limit your career, so And if you do do it, you have to make sure you get as much money as you can because you won't get that again.
And once you've done it that's it.
It's like McDonald's.
Once it's on the menu, it's not coming off.
And you will need an enema.
And a little drink, probably.
To relax you.
D'you think Could you stay for a bit? Aw, don't be daft.
The guys'll take care of you.
Who's the scene with? Um Nads? Who's the scene with? Uhh, Simon.
Simon Craig? Simon Hairy Simon.
Oh, well, that's good, cos he's lovely.
And he's big, but he's not, like, really big.
Be like doing it with your boyfriend.
You have done it with your boyfriend? Uhh I mean, we've done a lot of stuff.
Just not that.
I don't have a thing about it.
Just, my mate, Danielle, she says it's an exit, not an entrance.
She doesn't wanna do it, mate.
Fuck, fuck, fuck! Carroll's gonna fucking flay me.
I can't even - Listen, I would help you out - No, I know.
Anyway, it's Doctor Simon's TEEN Anal Violation Show - we need, you know? - Sure.
- Greener banana.
- Yeah, no, I got it.
Cheers for that.
I told him not to bring that fucking thing on set.
-Hey, sorry I'm late.
- All right, Si? Oh, she's gorgeous.
- Oh, sorry, are you allergic? - Nah, it's hay fever.
I'm coming! Dave? Do not talk her into it, OK? - Not on her first day.
- Yeah, no, of course.
I get it.
She doesn't wanna do it.
Where are you two going? Shopping.
You all right? Yeah.
Off! Wash your hands.
- I did my Father Christmas letter.
- It's June, Iz! Phoebs, I did say no phones at the tables.
Gabe, can you turn it off please, darling? Can I stay at Angel's tonight? Her mum's away.
But bed by 11.
Go wash your hands.
Want me to get the washing off the line? That's all right, I can do it.
You get off.
Don't forget.
- It's supposed to rain.
- I won't forget.
- Kids, say bye to Nanny.
- Bye, Nan.
Thanks, sweetheart.
You all right? Gabe, not at the table, mate.
You know that.
All right, Angel? Didn't know you were here.
I'm gonna take mine upstairs if that's all right, darling? - I'll put a shift in on your Twitter.
- All right.
See you tomorrow.
Thanks, Mum.
Oh and the, er the foot guy emailed again.
He's getting a bit impatient now.
I know.
Hayley, I said I'm not eating carbs.
Well, then you can eat pesto out of a jar, babe, because I'm not cooking two meals of an evening.
Oh, and I have got a bone to pick with you, actually.
I was running round like a blue-arsed fly for half an hour this morning, trying to find my fake lashes.
And where were they? You'd already worn them.
Excuse me, they are 6.
50 a pop.
I don't just wear them once and then throw them away, you know.
Gabe, I said, turn it off.
Angel's mum came to the school today.
Did a talk about writing Dress To Kill.
She won't let us even watch it.
Well, I did hear that it's very good.
It's just I don't really like the violence.
Iz, can you cut it out and eat your dinner? It's not even that violent.
- Oh, right.
Well - I only saw the bit where they make the suit out of the model's skin, so maybe I got the wrong idea.
Did you want cheese, Angel? Thanks.
I'll see you tomorrow, yeah? He's so out of your league.
You know that, right? My feet hurt so much.
I need to take my shoes off.
Being an air stewardess, I'm on my feet all day.
Oh, my God, they're so smelly! They really stink.
He wants you to put it in your mouth.
- Mum? - Fuck.
- Mum! - What is it, darling? I think I've got worms again.
Is it little white things? - Yeah.
- In your poo? - Yes.
- Yeah, that's worms.
Go and wash your hands.
I'll be down in a minute.
OK, do you want to just do the sign-off? And then you can pick up the rest in the morning.
- Yep.
- OK? Ready? Action.
I hope you enjoyed watching this.
I really enjoyed making it.
Say his name.
You've gotta say his name.
I hope you enjoyed watching this.
- I really enjoyed making it, Gary.
- Glenn.
- Mum! - For fuck's sake.
Don't they worry about you finding out, though? She knows I know.
She told me when I was 11, but I already knew anyway.
I mean, they all fit really well.
At school, people are all wankers.
Just have to laugh.
It's all right if you laugh.
We wouldn't be able to afford to go to our school otherwise.
Do you watch porn, then? Yeah.
Well, I mean, a bit.
Come round and press X to tackle this guy.
What's up? You got hay fever? I think it's conjunctivitis.
One of Izzy's mates has got it.
I've seen Phoebe's itching, too.
Oh, should probably get to the doctor, then.
- Hm.
- Yeah? So, why do you watch porn, then? OK, well If I tell you, do you promise you're not gonna you know, like, judge me? OK, well, basically it's really hard for me to say, but I just really enjoy wanking.
- It feels good to finally say it.
- Moron.
Your cute little face.
So small, I just wanna Would you still fancy me if I looked like this? Yes.
Say, "Sausages.
" Sausages.
It's fine.
It's all right.
You're tired.
Just lie down.
Take your knickers off.
So when I was 14, this game started at school, Who could snap my bra.
It went on for ages.
One day, I just lost it.
It was Shaun Feeney.
I chucked a chair at him.
I walked out and went up the park.
I was sat on this bench for ages.
Then this bloke came and sat next to me.
I could feel him looking at me.
So I looked at him and he grinned.
And he had his cock out.
Just, like, lying in his News Of The World.
Anyway, I ran home to Mrs Owens next door, cos Mum was, you know, out of it.
And I told her and she laughed.
And she said to me, "One day, Hayley, you won't be 14 years old.
"And teenage boys won't care about you.
"And builders won't whistle.
"And dirty old men won't even look at you.
"And when that day comes, do you know how you'll feel?" She said "You'll feel like a fucking ghost.
" You're gorgeous, babe.
You know you are.
Where's this coming from? I dunno.
This new girl, Rich.
I shouldn't have left her.
She just made me feel so fucking old.
All right.
OK, you're knackered.
Get some sleep.
Shit, did you hang Izzy's Airtex out? Yeah.
Thank you.
You're a life saver.
I like sweeping.
Dad, where's my PE kit? It's by the back door.
What are you doing? Waking you up.
You're going to be late.
You looked so sexy here.
I couldn't help it.
Are you wearing a condom? Does that mean yes? Paulie? I love you, Pheebs.
Sorry, is that? I've just I've been thinking about it for ages and didn't have the guts to Oh, it's proper awkward now, isn't it? No.
No, it's I love you, too.
Hi, Amy, babe, it's Jolene.
Erm, just trying you again.
Sorry I missed you.
Hope everything's OK.
Erm, yeah, gimme a call back.
Hayley Burrows, room three.
OK, Hayley, so you've tested positive for chlamydia.
What? You've never had it before? No.
No, not in my eye.
Well, it's on the rise.
Teenage girls mostly.
But Anyway, not to worry, you know, same job, I'll put you on a course of antibiotics.
Should see some improvement soon.
All right, thank you.
And, Hayley, if you can, try and keep bodily fluids away from the area.
I like it, man.
Oi, Pheebs.
Oh, my God, what is that? Get it away.
It's rank.
Well you came out of it, love.
Oh! What? Should have told me, Cam, would've got you a discount.
OK, well, he bought it, so He's being a prick, Phoebe.
Just ignore him.
Hey, Pheebs, you should ask your mum if you could borrow her razor.
Shut up, Cam, you fucking knob.
Pheebs, I didn't He nicked my phone.
What? Hey, look, I like a bit of grass on the wicket.
Go on, then! Go on, then! Hi, Amy, baby, it's me again, Jolene.
Erm, I just wanted to, erm Sorry.
Do you know what, I'm sure you're fine but, erm, anyway can you just give us a bell? OK, love you.
Sorry, are you all right? No, Dave, I've got chlamydia in my eye, so not really.
It must have been one of them guys from last week.
I thought you said they all had clean tests.
They did.
I wouldn't put you on camera - with someone who had - Yeah, well, obviously you did.
I'm really sorry, Jo.
I'll look into it, yeah.
Have you spoke to Amy today? Not since yesterday.
Why? What happened with that scene? Who'd you get? Amy changed her mind.
Really? How come? Same old.
More money.
Why aren't you at school? I forgot.
It's take your daughter to work day.
They said I could have it off.
Sweetheart, erm, this is a bit Erm I've got chlamydia.
It's in my eye.
I think we need to get you checked out, too.
What? I haven't got it.
Yeah, well, you did nick my eyelashes, and you've been itching your eye quite a bit, so I think it's best we get you checked out.
It's pretty contagious.
I'm really sorry, baby.
I can get you a prescription.
Anyway, that'll teach you not to use my stuff without asking, won't it? Hm? I am really sorry, baby.
I know you're probably upset.
I am! I am upset.
I'm upset you won't stop finding ways to sell your fucking snatch.
Pheebs, are you all right? Fuck off.
Can I come in? No.
Why do you do that? Why do you ask when you're just going to do what you want anyway? What is going on? Eh? If I tell you do you promise to be normal about it? OK.
I didn't go to Angel's last night.
I stayed at Paulie's.
I stay there loads, it's not a big deal.
Is that? Are you two? Yeah.
But you are using? Yeah.
Well, I'm glad you told me.
Yeah, but I woke up this morning and he was He was having sex with me.
Did you tell him to stop? No.
It was so awkward.
OK, and had you? Were you doing it last night? - Yeah, but - No, it's just cos the thing is it's really difficult for boys.
They're not mind readers, babe.
So, in future, you just have to be really, really clear about what your dos and don'ts are, yeah? OK? Yeah.
Oh, come here.
Love you.
Silly sausage.
Love you.
Love you, too.
- Hello again.
- Hi, Carroll! - Not got a drink? - I've had a Fanta.
I'm on these painkillers, so - Oh.
Nothing serious, I hope.
- No, just my knees.
- I'm a dancer.
- See, I could have guessed that.
You've got a dancer's deportment.
- Are you having a nice time? - Yes! Good.
I like people to have a nice time.
I can't have a nice time myself unless everyone else is, you know? - I'm a pack animal.
- Yeah, it's good having it on a Sunday.
I never know what to do with my Sundays.
Oh, I love Sundays.
People always get excited about Friday nights but to my mind, Sunday is the sexiest day of the week because somewhere in the back of your brain, it still feels wrong.
How's the temperature? Oh.
- I've got a boyfriend.
- Lucky boyfriend.
- What's his name? - Michael.
Does Michael have a big cock? Oh, no.
Come along, young lady.
I'll follow you in.
I just I love the rain.
See you later.
Come on, everyone.
I'm glad you asked that question because I like using brand-new girls You want a dab? because when you use a brand-new girl, she's fresh.
She hasn't yet learned that fatal word that you never want to hear on a movie set Can we just change this for a second? And that is "no" At what time are you expecting it to land, then? "No" doesn't exist on Tom Pain's set.
Aw! All right, cheers, keep you posted.
At last! Captain Jack Sparrow graces us with her presence.
I'm not stopping.
It's all right, Tom's not coming.
He flies tonight.
Oh, that's a shame.
You're pissed off at me, I can tell.
Oh, my God, are you, like, psychic? I can't not work with everyone you ever had a bad date with, Jo-Jo.
- It wasn't a bad date.
- Anyway, it's not me, OK? They want me and Tom to breed, transatlantic trade partnership.
I'm Prince Harry, he's Meghan Markle.
Double the market, double the money.
Come on.
You used to hate them as much as I do.
Jo, you're on every one of their sites.
Yeah, because they nicked my content.
They nicked your content before they bought you.
They did not nick my content.
They're liars and they're thieves and I know he's your mate, but Tom Pain is a fucking arsehole.
I'm not shooting with him.
Oh, no, of course not, sweetheart.
I'm sorry, really.
But for what it's worth, I think he's a bit misunderstood.
It's a persona, it's not him.
I just don't think that looking at shit through a speculum - is that sexy, personally.
- Doesn't have to be sexy, it just has to be something you've never seen before.
By the way, we need to talk about you doing an anal.
- This again? I told you, no.
- Come on, it's only one scene.
What's so special about your arsehole? It's mine, and it's not for sale.
You're looking gorgeous.
I love ya.
Right, listen, this new girl Amy, I'm worried - She's fine.
She's inside.
- Is she? Yeah.
They're all in there, babe.
They don't care about Tom Pain, they're waiting for you, didn't you know that? I don't know what's wrong with me.
I just had this feeling something awful was going to happen.
- Come on, come inside.
Say hello.
- OK, but one drink, all right? Just a thimble.
Hello, babies! I'm making espresso martinis.
Who wants one? When did this happen? Oh, it's fine, just a little setback.
- What is up with your eye? - It's nothing, baby.
So what happened? I didn't think you wanted to do the scene.
It's fine.
They paid me, like, a grand and it was two hours.
But your knees, sweetheart.
What about your dancing? I'm going to get a drink.
You OK? - She's on fucking crutches, Dave.
- She wanted to do it.
- Carroll upped the money.
- It was her first day.
The fuck it was.
Don't be soft - How do you know? - Trust me, I know.
How? Because people don't do rosebud scenes on their first day on the job.
It just happened.
- Carroll's really excited.
- Yeah, well Anal prolapse, that's very exciting, that is.
Can I speak to you for a second, please? Right.
I'm not fresh off the boat, Dave, I get it, seriously.
But when I first started I know, darling.
It was 2001 and storylines were still in fashion.
It was all satin sheets and candlelight and everyone treating your cunt like it was the Taj Mahal.
Yeah, so if my arse had fallen out, you would have called a doctor, not gone in for a bloody close-up.
I was there, mate, in the good old days, and you were a fucking train wreck.
This isn't about me, this is about Amy.
What are you jealous of her for? She'll do six months, that'll be it.
I'm not, that is not what this is about.
Well, I've got Carroll breathing down my neck killing myself trying to find something we can get people to pay for when everybody wants everything for free.
Fucking hell.
This is a waste of MDMA.
If you're so worried about it, I'll show you.
See for yourself.
Oh! Yeah, fuck me in the arse, Dr Simon.
You want it, you dirty little nurse, don't you? You OK? Oh! You OK? OK.
Oh, yeah! Put it in her mouth.
- Dave you all right? - Sorry.
It's not your fault.
- Happy now? - Amy, sweetheart - Fuck off, all right? - Whoa! - Easy.
- Give her a hand.
Oh, my God.
That's it.
- She's not cut out for this.
- She's fine.
- She's highly strung, that's all.
- I should take her home with me.
No, she's fine.
Let her sleep it off.
All right, tell her I'll be back to get her in the morning, then.
She's shooting with Tom tomorrow.
No, she's not.
Love you.
Oh, hey.
This is a nice welcome.
I figured you'd all still be in bed.
- I'm Tom Pain, honey.
- Oh, I'm Amy.
I mean, come in.
It's ok.
Thank you so much.
I'm like a vampire, you see, sweetheart.
I have to wait to be asked over the threshold.
- Are you the housekeeper? - No, just er what time is it? Oh, it's a little after five.
Looks like I missed a great party.
Do you want to go to sleep? No, that's all right, I slept on the aeroplane.
Anyway, I'm a lark.
It'd be a sin to miss your first sunrise in England.
I never visited before, you know? No, no, I just need coffee and a little breakfast and a shower and then I need to eat your pussy.
Do you have eggs, sweetheart? I don't know.
You want to check? No.
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