Alfred Hitchcock Presents s03e38 Episode Script

The Impromptu Murder

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
I must interrupt this program to make a grave announcement.
The invasion from Mars is already underway.
I repeat, the invasion from Mars is already underway.
Martians have actually landed and are among us.
We have captured some of them and will show them to you now so that you can know your enemy.
You may have seen some of these creatures in your city.
They have rounded backs, a body that looks like a tired balloon, pointed red feet with no toes, and long colored legs.
Here are the prisoners we have taken so far.
This one was captured in broad daylight at the Sans Souci Canasta club.
Notice the needle point heel, probably lethal.
The uniform seems to have been designed so that we can't tell which way this one's going.
Very deceptive.
Notice the knapsack and the space for weapon storage.
And look at the shoes.
Obviously, they were never designed for the human foot.
And here we have the most dangerous type.
Notice the high oblong head and the cloche helmet.
The creature can at a moments notice inflate this for a fast return to Mars.
Take them to our leader.
And now speaking of our beloved leader, I feel it is indeed fitting and proper that in this moment of grave worldwide danger he give us one of his one minute inspirational talks.
Good morning, sir.
Good morning, Holsom.
It's the post, sir.
Thank you.
Here's one from Miss Wilkinson.
Do you remember her, Holsom? Oh, yes, sir.
I do indeed.
She's passing this way next week and will look in for a chat.
Rather odd.
Not a word from her in nine years and now she decides to pass this way.
Definitely odd.
I wonder what she wants this time.
You must be very proud that your brother's been elected Mayor, Miss Daw.
Oh, yes, of course, I'm very proud indeed.
Though I must admit that the prospect of acting as mayoress quite terrifies me.
I'm not at all good at mixing with people, I'm afraid.
Oh, nonsense, nonsense.
Don't give it a thought.
You'll be excellent.
I do hope so.
Here we are.
Thank you.
Well, with all your new duties, it'll be a relief to dispense with some of your other responsibilities, I daresay.
No, indeed.
I'm quite prepared to carry on for my clients as before.
I shan't let anyone down, you may be sure.
Oh, yes, I'm sure.
But at least it'll work no hardship on you to be free of the bothers of my affairs.
No bother whatsoever, Miss Wilkinson.
Of course, if you're dissatisfied No, no.
On the contrary I was very pleased.
But it seems that the King has practically commanded my brother to enlarge his factory.
How interesting.
Yes, isn't it? Of course my brother can use every penny he can lay his hands on.
He says that he can double my money in six months.
So it seems almost a duty to invest with him, doesn't it? Well now, perhaps it does, if one thinks of it that way.
Of course, you understand that your shares can't be sold at anything like their original worth today.
At not even half, perhaps.
Even so, if my money's doubled in six months Well, I should just be back where I started, shouldn't I? And from then on it'll be pure profit.
Surely the war will last that long, don't you think? Oh, I don't think I care to have you depend on my opinion there, Miss Wilkinson, but if it didn't you'd be ruined.
You do understand that, of course? Well, yes, but I shall take the risk.
I feel it's worth the risk to have the war done with.
Oh, yes.
I can't think of any other reason why I shouldn't, can you, Mr.
Daw? No I can't, Miss Wilkinson.
I think it's probably an excellent idea.
Lunch is served, ma'am.
Bring it with you.
Thank you.
This platform, ma'am.
Good morning, Barclay.
Good morning to you.
Say, you're a bit early, ain't you? Yes, I am.
A client of mine, she's up in first class ahead, a lady who spent the night with us.
Wanted to get up to London early, so I thought I'd see her off and travel with her as far as Little Mede.
It's my day there, you know.
As a matter of fact I was coming to see you myself today.
It won't take long if you care to talk now.
Well But maybe you want to get back to the lady.
Oh, no, I can spare you a few moments.
This carriage is empty.
Let's step in here.
Good afternoon sir.
Good afternoon.
Well, what's this, no tea today? Oh I thought I'd be late.
It's all ready, sir, but Miss Daw, I don't know if she's coming down.
She's been that queer all day, stayed in her room.
We thought we should send for Dr.
Gardner, but she said no, we wasn't to, that she just wanted to rest.
I'd better see what's amiss.
I'll just run up and have a look, Marjorie! Marjorie, are you awake? Yes.
My dear girl.
What's wrong? Well, now, if you're feeling ill we must send for Dr.
Gardner at once.
No, I'm not ill and I don't want Dr.
Very well, my dear.
You do whatever you think is best.
You see, Henry, ordinarily we should have to be quite suspicious of you.
A woman comes to her solicitor to withdraw her capital and then mysteriously disappears.
Oh, now, look here, Charles, after all these years Yes, I suppose you would.
However there must be evidence which would help Exactly.
Since the carriage man, the station master and the porter all definitely place Miss Wilkinson on that train to London, it leaves you in the clear.
However, we've been able to find no trace of Miss Wilkinson since she boarded that train.
I do hope that you can be of some help to us there.
Well, I can place her on the train as far as Little Mede.
That's all I'm afraid.
What, you mean you rode with her to Little Mede? Yes.
Well, that is, most of the way.
I went once to wash my hands, and on the way back I stopped to talk to a client who'd got on at Merton.
A farmer by the name of Barclay.
But I was back in the carriage before we reached Little Mede, so I can definitely say she was there.
Was there anyone else in the compartment with you and Miss Wilkinson? No, just the two of us.
Not many on those early trains, you know.
Now, let me just get this clear.
Although you traveled to Little Mede with Miss Wilkinson you did not accompany her to the station? That's correct.
Wasn't that rather odd? Well, I Yes, of course it was.
Charles, I hope you'll treat this in confidence.
I wouldn't like Miss Wilkinson to ever hear about it, or anyone else.
Yes, of course.
The fact is You know, it's still dark at 6:00.
Well, she was making rather a lot of the situation.
Giggling and simpering and saying it was all most unconventional and she hoped there would be no talk.
You know, a maiden lady of these years can quite genuinely imagine that things have happened which haven't happened at all.
Do you remember that case in Peterborough last month? Yes, of course.
So I thought it would be better if I walk to the station.
And did you? Yes.
Now, can you recall anything Miss Wilkinson said at any time, anything which would indicate that she was under some kind of stress? Anything which would seem to you in the least bit out of the ordinary? I'm sorry, Charles.
I can't think of a thing.
Well, if you do think of anything, however trivial, you'll be sure and let me know, won't you? Oh, indeed I shall.
I'm most concerned about her.
Besides, we came to no final decision about the investment of her capital in her brother's factory.
Oh? And you feel you shouldn't do this without consulting her first? Oh, positively not.
In a matter of this importance I shouldn't dream of acting without definite instructions from the client.
I see.
Well, I must be running along.
Thank you, Henry.
Goodbye, Charles.
Never mind.
Goodbye, Henry.
Let me know if there's anything I can do.
Is it still rising? Yes.
The fields at the river's edge must be six or eight feet under water by this time.
Well, come and have your tea, dear.
It won't help to worry about it.
If it doesn't stop we shall have to postpone tomorrow's ceremony.
And with Colonel Sir Francis Garrold coming too we can't dedicate the Roll of Honor indoors.
No, dear, of course not.
But I'm sure you've realized by now that no one can have everything just as he would like it.
Of course, my dear.
And so we are met here today in solemn purpose to dedicate this Roll of Honor which bears the names of those brave men of Swallowsbath who have made the ultimate sacrifice.
Who have given their very lives in this grim and crucial conflict.
To speak of them, to honor them at these ceremonies, there could be no one more fitted, more appropriate than a man who has been one of them himself.
And we are indeed fortunate that such a man has consented to address us here today.
I refer to and I am proud to introduce Look! a man whom in truth needs no introduction.
One whom is well-known to all of us by the record of his valiant exploits, Colonel Sir Francis Garrold.
It's a body! It's a body! It's a man! No, it's a woman! It's a matter of identification, Henry.
It occurred to me that the body might possibly be Miss Wilkinson.
It seems highly unlikely.
How could it get back here? I dare say you're right.
But the doctor says the time factor seems to coincide.
So I thought, under the circumstances you might come along to the mortuary for a look and give us your opinion.
No, I couldn't possibly.
I can't bear the sight of a dead body.
I know how you feel, but you do understand we have to make quite certain, don't you? Very well.
No! No, it's not like her at all.
Not at all.
Well, I certainly appreciate your coming, Henry.
We do have to make sure, you know.
Good afternoon, Charles.
Good afternoon, Henry.
I wonder if I might have another word with you? Very well.
Come along in.
Is your sister about? No.
She's not feeling well.
She's delicate, you know, and that business this afternoon, that was rather a shock.
Yes, of course.
I'm sorry to hear it though.
Because it was she I wanted to see mainly.
I wanted to ask her to come down and view the body too.
Why, that's absolutely out of the question.
I couldn't possibly allow her to be put through to such an ordeal.
And besides, it's pointless.
I knew Miss Wilkinson much better than Marjorie did, and I have already said the body couldn't be hers.
Henry, when you looked at the face, did you notice anything peculiar, possibly resulting from the exposure? Are you suggesting that I didn't examine the body properly, Charles? Yes.
I'm suggesting you kept your eyes shut the whole time.
It's not uncommon for people to keep their eyes closed when viewing a corpse.
For instance, a murderer will do it nine times out of ten, when the body is his victim.
Why, that's an outrageous insinuation! Suppose I did keep my eyes closed? It couldn't be her, and I have told you I cannot stand the sight of a dead body.
Yes, but you see, Henry, that makes your identification quite useless.
So now if you would be kind enough to ask your sister to come down.
I'm sorry, Charles, but I must refuse.
My sister is not strong enough to be dragged into this.
Henry, as much as I would regret it, if you force us to, we shall have to take the necessary legal steps to secure your sister's No! No, Charles.
No, no I cannot allow you to put her through the torture of your inquisition.
Nor to try and make her an accessory.
She had nothing to do with this at any time.
I, and I al I killed Miss Wilkinson.
Then she did need her money? Yes.
And you didn't have it? No.
We We'd been put to considerable expense in the past few years.
Excuse me, Charles.
Hello? Oh, one moment, please.
It's for you, Charlie.
Inspector Tarrant here.
What's that? Was he absolutely sure? I see.
All right, thank you.
Now then, Henry, after you had killed Miss Wilkinson, what did you do with the body? I buried it near the river under a slab of stone.
I still can't understand how it got washed up.
I've had no opportunity to go and look yet.
Well, we can go now.
Miss Wilkinson's brother was called down from London, you see, and he has just told my assistant that the body at the mortuary positively is not hers.
So much for the strange case of Henry Daw.
For the next minute I intend to step over to the stockade and interrogate our prisoners.
After which I'll buzz back.
I wish to state categorically that all the statements made previously were facetious, that no invasion from Mars has taken place, and that the attractive costumes you see on these lovely earthlings are the final step in a gradual evolution toward the ultimate in beauty.
I shall be back I shall be back next week with another story.
Until then, good night.

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