All Creatures Great and Small (2020) s01e02 Episode Script

Another Farnon?

Morning, James.
Good morning! How is it possible? We have nothing we want and two of everything we don't.
It's almost as if you might benefit from employing some sort of system.
Sarcasm really doesn't suit a woman of your religiosity, Mrs Hall.
Herriot! Well, you seem in a cheery mood this morning.
Care to explain yourself? Yes, absolutely.
I'm sorry.
Sorry, what have I done? This.
It's empty.
What on earth is it doing back on the shelf? Add Handshaw to the list, he's got a cow down.
I'll see to it.
And when you're done pick my brother up from the station, he should be on the 4.
I didn't know Tristan were coming.
There's another Farnon? I was perfectly clear with both of you yesterday.
And James, take the Rover.
Thank you.
The Rover? Quite the honour.
One must offer the carrot as well as the stick, Mrs Hall.
And if it makes Tristan green with envy, all the better.
Motivation to apply himself as Herriot has done.
No Siegfried today? Unless he's hiding in the back.
No, no, just me, I'm afraid.
Who's this, then? Siegfried's new assistant.
Oh, aye? Yes, another one.
Cow's in t'shed.
She hasn't stood for three days.
I think it's milk fever keeping her down.
A bottle of calcium should solve the problem.
My dad always used to say they had a worm in t'tail when they stayed down like this.
Well, cutting it off'll see her up.
Aside from being rather painful, I'm not sure how that would rectify a deficiency of calcium.
Oh, hark at him, only been born five minutes, he knows stock better than thee or I.
Old ways is the old ways for a reason, lad.
These modern ways have their merits, too.
Broughton, this is Broughton.
Oi! - Oi! - Tristan Farnon? Whatever you heard, it's not true.
I didn't do it.
No, Siegfried sent me.
I'm James Herriot, his new assistant.
Really? Poor you.
Oi! You need to buy a ticket, Sir.
Come on.
Car? Where's the? He let you drive the Rover? Yes, it's quite something, isn't it? Wait a minute.
We haven't got all day.
Hurry up.
Do you have a girl? Not as such.
Not as such meaning not at all, or not as such meaning yes, but not so much that you're willing to say? - Er - It's the former, isn't it? Never mind, we'll soon sort that out.
We will? Any local beauties taken your fancy? I've not been here too long.
Ah, that explains it, then.
Have you travelled far? Edinburgh.
I've been at veterinary college.
Training to be a vet? No, electrician.
Yes, of course, to be a vet.
In between having an enormous amount of fun at any rate.
How do you find him? My brother, I mean.
Everyone speaks very highly of him.
Obviously he's an experienced vet.
I sense a but.
He's not without his inconsistencies.
Inconsistencies? The man's a lunatic.
Why do you think he goes through Mayflies like he does? Mayflies? It's what I call his assistants.
They rarely last beyond the day.
Will you be staying long at Skeldale? Naturally.
Someone's got to keep the family business ticking over.
Look out! Blimey.
You know, I think we might've got away with it.
Fret not, Jim.
It'll hold.
Mrs H, you look more youthful and radiant with each passing day.
Ooh, I can feel your ribs poking through.
You're wasting away.
It's the quality of the cooking, it just can't compare with the culinary delights I get at home.
I'm short of time but I managed to rustle you up a bit of tea.
You've outdone yourself, Mrs H.
If only I had some ale to wash it down with.
I've some in the pantry.
Evening, Siegfried.
Good journey? Uneventful.
Wasn't it, James? Barely a soul on the road.
How was college? Oh, you know.
Hard work.
Nose to the grind stone.
Celebrating last night? End of exams.
And? All finished.
Finished? Just passed the last one.
You passed? - Mm-hm.
- Oh, thank the Lord.
- Tristan, congratulations.
- Good heavens.
About bloody time, too.
But don't think that means you get to just sit around idle.
I think what your brother means to say is that he's very proud.
What? Yes, yes, goes without saying.
Very good.
Very good.
Well done, very proud.
What's happened to my room? I'm afraid we didn't know for certain when you were coming back.
Or was it more that you didn't know how long he'd be staying? Oh, it's Mr Herriot's for now.
I think you'll be quite comfortable in here.
The cupboard? I'll leave you boys to get better acquainted.
You should have your bed back.
No, no, I won't hear of it.
This'll be more than sufficient for now.
You know I don't plan on leaving any time soon.
No-one ever does.
That's the thing about Siegfried, you never know what he's going to do until he does it.
In truth, neither does he.
Sleep well.
Morning, James.
Afternoon, Jim.
Siegfried, here's a list of everything we're short of and this is the surplus.
- You did all this? - First thing this morning.
You see, Herriot, the early bird catches the worm.
Well, put these in the car, I'll run them over to Pandhi later.
Mrs Pumphrey called a moment ago.
Please tell me it's not.
- Flop what? - Bott.
She treats that dog like the Raja of bloody India.
I tell you, she'll be the ruination of the poor animal.
Excuse me.
Oh, and we had a call from Handshaw while you were still asleep.
Something about a cow that wouldn't get up.
Spitting chips about it, he was.
- I thought you dealt with that.
- I did.
His cow had milk fever.
What she needs is a bottle of calcium.
Which I administered yesterday.
Really, Herriot, you can't keep going back and forth on the same case.
It's a waste of time.
I'll head up there first thing this morning.
Tristan'll go with you.
I will? Time to put theory into practice, little brother.
I'm sure James doesn't want another Farnon breathing down his neck.
Herriot doesn't mind.
Not at all.
It's settled, then.
Time to see you at work, Jim.
Keep going, keep going.
You're the one who let me drive the car.
Well, if I'd known you were coming back, I'd have baked some fresh.
Oh, God, it's good, Sylvie.
If you weren't married already.
'Fraid that's the last slice.
Oh, well.
He can share mine.
I'm a little busy, actually.
Suit yourself.
The calcium should've taken effect by now, so I'm going to try a stimulant injection to give her a little encouragement.
It might take a few hours to take effect, but you should see her up by this evening.
That's what he said last time.
My dad always had ways of getting a cow up.
Oh, well, let's hear some of them.
I think we can manage.
How about some water in the lug hole? It'd certainly get me up.
We're not pouring water in her lug hole.
Try yelling at her? I'm not going to shout at a cow.
I'll give it a go, if you like.
Hey, I always said he were a grand lad.
No, no, no, I'll I'll do it.
What exactly am I supposed to yell? Well, when I wants to move a cow, I always says "cush".
They understand cush.
Cush! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! It just tickled me, I've never seen a man shout at a cow before.
I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.
If you can't enjoy yourself then what's the point? And the Handshaws certainly appreciated it.
As my brother always says, you treat the person, not just the animal.
Oh, cush.
Reporting for duty, ma'am.
Give over.
I lost the stripes years ago.
Oh, it's good to see you.
Yeah, you too.
You too.
Hello, need a lift? Oh, we're only going to the tea room.
Who's this, then? New fancy man? Hm? Oh, no.
Mr Farnon owns the veterinary practice I keep house for.
This is Dorothy.
How do you do? I understand you served under Mrs Hall in the Wrens.
Brutal task master she was, too.
I can certainly attest to that.
Is that yours? For now.
I'm leaving sunny Scarborough for Malta Trying to get rid of it before I go.
Her son's out with the Navy.
If you're interested, I'm around these parts the next few weeks catching up with friends.
Thank you.
Pleasure to meet you.
Until this evening.
Oh, lovely lines.
The Rover.
You know I've always had a soft spot for a soft top.
So, how are things at home? Scarborough still the rogues' gallery it's always been? Oh, you know, as ever it was.
Have you seen my Edward knocking about? Let's talk about it over a brew.
Come on.
Quite something, isn't it? Her old man's mills used to weave half the cloth in the county.
This way, gentlemen.
Do show the band where to set up.
Ah, thank you, Francois.
Make sure we have plenty of ice.
The doctor said I must drink more water.
Eugh! Mrs Pumphrey.
Looks like you're putting on quite the shindig.
Oh, just a modest affair for our closest friends.
Isn't that right, Tricki? And how've you been little man? Oh, dear, I think he remembers you.
He stood on his tail.
Accidentally, I hasten to add.
Yes, but he does bear grudges.
And who is this delight? James Herriot.
Mr Farnon's new assistant.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
It's true what I've been hearing.
You are a handsome devil.
And you must be Tricki-Woo.
That's no way to greet Mr Herriot.
You'd think he'd been dragged up.
Isn't he just adorable? Paw, Tricki? Paw.
Let us take him to the library for his treatment.
We must preserve his dignity.
Be glad to take it off your hands.
Always happy to help a man who's struggling.
Oh, we're far from struggling - no, we just need to make some space so we stock for the more profitable work.
Careful with that.
There's some wimpy looking devils coming into this profession.
Now, now, George, we can't all be as handsome as you.
Blasted students.
Not worth a penny I pay them.
Student? Oh, well, you manage with what you can find, I suppose.
I've two assistants now.
Is that so? Both fully qualified.
Yes, my brother just passed his exams, which means we'll be able to take on even more work.
Onwards and upwards, eh, George? Onwards and upwards.
Impacted anal glands.
Now that we've expressed them, he should feel more comfortable.
I don't know why this keeps happening, I only feed him the very best food.
Ah, well, that could be part of the problem, what exactly is it you're feeding him? Oh, the usual - chicken, beef Wellington, plum duff, and he absolutely adores trifle.
Who doesn't? Good boy.
And cake, of course.
Ah, well, there you have it.
Triple pud always puts my insides in a rum old state.
Too much rich food in his diet.
Not enough fibre.
Yeah, that too.
If you want to get technical about it.
Brown meat and biscuits twice a day.
That's all he should be having.
Quite right.
Well said, Jim.
Oh, Tricki, Uncle Herriot's telling mummy off.
Uncle Herriot is simply trying to make sure his nephew stays fit and healthy.
But how will my poor baby survive? Very well, I should imagine.
Let's face it, there's enough meat on the bone.
Excuse me? I just mean he's carrying a little extra timber around the middle.
That's all.
Don't listen to him, Tricki.
You're perfect as you are.
I'm sorry, Tricki, I didn't mean it.
Well, there goes my invite.
Damn dog.
Just one more stop before we head home.
All right there, Tris? Didn't know you were back.
I assume you've missed me terribly.
Oh, I don't know how I've coped.
James! I barely recognise you with your clothes on.
Wait? What? I was swimming.
It's nothing.
Your old horse and cart's had a bit of an upgrade.
Borrowed it from the Hultons.
Hop on up, calf's in the top field.
Can I have a go? I've always wanted to drive a tractor.
I wouldn't.
I won't.
Lovely view.
Isn't it? That's Heskit Fell.
Eddleton just beyond.
Wedder over the other side.
Colver and Sennor.
You talk about them as if they were old friends.
I've known them my whole life.
There's a river up there that's good for swimming.
Here she is.
Seems to be putting weight on it all right.
Well, that was easy enough.
What's say we round off the day with a pint at the Drovers? I'd like to take a closer look, just to make sure.
Of course he would.
How was your first day on the job? Very instructive.
Jim has his own particular methods.
I've got it.
What about Handshaw's cow? That all taken care of? - Absolutely.
- Eventually.
Is it or isn't it? I don't want to have to go up there myself.
All it needed was an extra stimulant injection.
I assure you, Siegfried, it's all sorted.
I'm pleased to hear it.
That were Mrs Pumphrey's driver.
A letter for Uncle Herriot.
"Tricki-Woo requests the pleasure of Uncle Herriot's company "for drinks and dancing.
" He's going to the party? Invited by Tricki-Woo, no less.
You will be the guest of honour.
I'll just get supper out the oven.
You must've made quite the impression.
Do you think I should go? Oh, course you should.
Rivers of champagne, mountains of food.
Annoying Pekinese barking shrilly in your ear.
Ah, it says here it's white tie.
Oh, well, if you haven't got it, I'm sure Tristan has something you can borrow.
Tris? We're not quite the same size.
But I suppose you could try and squeeze into it.
Mrs Hall does wonders with a needle and thread.
I'm sure it won't be a problem .
taking it in.
Darrowby, 2297.
Mr Handshaw, how can I I see.
I'm sorry to hear that.
No, no, I understand.
I'll be up first thing tomorrow morning.
Anything important? No.
Nothing to worry about.
Isn't this Handshaw's place? Why are we back here? You old devil.
I distinctly recall you telling Siegfried it was all sorted.
It is.
It will be.
Never fear, Jim.
Your secret's safe with me.
Let's see if these sacks can't lift her up.
Try to rock her over towards me.
Tristan? Are you perfectly comfortable over there? I'm probably best employed in more of an overseeing capacity.
What about carbolic in a pint of beer? Would that be for us or the cow? We just need to lift.
OK, I need everyone to lift.
Lift! We'll try again.
Tristan, we could really do with your help.
One, two, three.
Everyone shout cush! Cush! Cush! Cush! Cush! Wait.
Stop! - Cush! - Will everyone please be quiet? Shut up! Mrs Hall, have you been baking that shortbread I like? I've a couple spare.
What's this? Dorothy said he'd been staying there.
He's still my boy, no matter what he may've done.
I'll take it to the post office for you, if you like.
You don't have to.
And if you need anything else - anything at all - just ask.
Set yourself down, I'll fetch some tea.
Tristan seems to have turned over a new leaf.
In fact, I'd say he's turned over a whole garden of them.
It's early days yet.
But I must admit it feels like a weight's been lifted.
What weight might that be? A son's promise to his dying father.
You're lucky to have him so close.
Why is it the ones we love most cause the most pain? Sorry, Mrs Hall, would you mind passing me the milk? I've got hold of the pelvic girdle, listen as I move it.
I barely heard nowt.
The bones are moving.
I'm afraid the pelvis is broken.
What's all this now? You said it were milk fever.
It was.
It is.
Then what're you on about its pelvis being broken? Tristan, he's talking a whole lot of rot, isn't he? You're welcome to carry out your own examination.
Oh, no, I'm not getting my fingers burnt on this one.
So if its pelvis is broken, what're you going to do about it? I'm afraid she's got no strength left in her hind legs.
The only thing you can do is get her off to the butchers.
We'll see her right.
All she needs is a sheepskin on the back.
It won't make the blindest bit of difference.
There's nothing more that can be done.
I'm sorry.
I need 25 pounds for it.
I'm sure that's what you want.
But wants and needs are two very different things.
Mind starting her up? Running a little rough.
Know much about cars, then? I'll give you 18.
20 with conditions.
What conditions? One condition.
Audrey has a big heart, she opens it up to everyone.
Even those that don't always deserve it.
Her son? Edward.
He'll break her heart again and again but she'll never learn.
Look out for her for me? And you'll take 25? Oh, he's here.
Mrs H, if that tastes half as good as it smells, Pumphrey can keep her stupid party.
They're back.
Tristan? What have I done? Come with me.
I'm afraid we've had a slight issue with Handshaw's cow.
Never mind about that.
Everyone outside.
Come on.
Hurry up.
This is more important.
What do you think? It's a car.
What of it? Not just any car.
It's yours.
- Sorry.
- I was coming to that.
I couldn't keep it in any longer.
You've bought me a car? It just about qualifies as one.
I felt perhaps you deserved one, after all your hard work.
And now you've qualified, we'll be wanting to send you out on your own eventually.
I don't know what to say.
Don't say anything, just get in the damn thing.
Give the boy a chance.
Go on Tris, before he pops a blood vessel.
You shouldn't've done this, Siegfried.
It's too much.
I should.
I'll never forget the day Father gave me my first car.
It struck me that's a memory you never got to share with him.
We've got a party to be preparing for.
Come on, James, those debs won't dance themselves.
There you are.
Where's your jacket? Just finishing up now.
Here you go, James.
Thank you.
I tell you what, Tris when I get back, you and I will crack open a bottle of my finest, sit up and put the world to rights.
How does that sound? I'd like that.
But don't go thinking you can help yourself to any while I'm away.
If you do, I shall know.
Thanks again for the suit, Tristan.
Now, then, James.
Good evening.
So, at times like these, James, frankly, we should take what we can get.
So, if I were you, say yes to everything you're offered.
The food shouldn't run out, nor should the drink and you certainly won't run out of people to dance with.
The state of that thing, it's unnatural.
He'll have a bloody coronary at this rate.
Siegfried, James.
So glad you could come.
A pleasure as always.
And look at this delightful little man.
Look, it's Uncle Herriot.
He's been so looking forward to seeing you.
Is that trifle I see in his bowl? I know it's naughty but it's the only way to keep him happy.
He finds these occasions rather testing.
Thank goodness he has you to keep him company.
Thank goodness indeed.
This is Tricki's guest, Uncle Herriot.
Make certain his glass never runs dry.
As for you, there are ladies in there in need of entertainment.
Then let us begin with my absolute favourite.
Good evening, Miss Alderson.
Paws off.
This is Uncle Herriot's.
I didn't know you were related.
We're not.
That's just what he calls me.
I mean, what Mrs Pumphrey calls me on his behalf.
Auntie Alderson, I have been since he was a pup.
Has he always been a porker? You wouldn't believe the things I've seen this chap put away.
Right, I don't suppose you know what this is? Caviar, I'd guess.
If I were you, I'd give it to the dog.
He's on his fifth already.
He'll dance with five more before the end of the night.
But never more than once.
You look like you've been enjoying yourself.
Oh, haven't I just.
I heard one of your qualified assistants tried to send a perfectly good cow to the butchers.
What the devil are you talking about? I try to take Jess for a run that way most mornings.
Well, in future, I'll bear that in mind.
I'm sorry if you saw more than you bargained for.
I didn't think there was anyone around.
No need to apologise.
If you hadn't got there first, I was going to do the same thing.
I find it sets me up for the day, makes me feel so Alive? Aye.
That's it.
Up in the Dales, surrounded by those hills, there's no place on Earth like it.
Once it gets in your bones, it's hard to get out.
I'm not sure I want it to.
I was wondering, I hope you don't mind me, but could I see you some time? I mean, I know I can see you - you're right in front of me.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't've It's not that, it's just This is where you're hiding.
I wasn't hiding.
No, I know.
Who's this? James Herriot.
Siegfried's new assistant.
Hugh Hulton, pleasure.
Was I interrupting? No, not really.
Well, we were just catching up.
Shall we dance? Yes.
I think so, Francois, don't you? You and I are going for a little drive.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
Six runs, taking you to 22-2.
Oh, Bradman scores a towering six over mid-wicket.
The Australians celebrate wildly and perhaps a little uncouthly but that's often their way.
Not enjoying yourself? Talk about it? Ooh, an appeal.
Is he out? Or has he survived? Caught.
He's caught out.
Aren't you? How did you know? It were in the pocket of your jacket, you daft beggar.
I'm sorry Why did you lie? I didn't lie, technically speaking.
You told him you passed your last exam.
Which is true.
I did pass my last exam.
I just omitted the fact that I failed the two that preceded it.
You silly boy.
You silly, silly boy.
I didn't know he was going to buy me a car.
What did you think was going to happen? I didn't.
What? Think.
I just couldn't bear the thought of failing again.
It's hard, isn't it, love? I'm sorry.
He's going to kill me.
Don't be silly.
He might maim you.
He's your brother, he'll never stop caring for you, no matter what you do.
But it can't go on.
He needs to know the truth.
I don't understand.
All she needed were t'sheepskin on her back.
But I felt the bone moving.
The pelvis was broken.
Feels solid enough now.
Tell me, how long ago did she calf? Three day ago.
There you are, then.
The ligaments hadn't tightened up again following the birth.
A rudimentary error, Herriot.
We calls her Lazarus now.
Let's hope the party's put him in a good mood.
Good party? Bloody disaster.
Tell them, Herriot.
I made a mistake.
He made a complete hash of treating Handshaw's cow - something which Pandhi took great delight in pointing out.
Honestly, James, I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps you oughtn't be the one learning from Tristan.
Wouldn't be so sure about that.
Don't be modest.
It's terribly dull.
Here, it's nearly as old as you are.
What? What is it? I think perhaps James and I should retire.
Hm? Righto.
Little brother? I suggest we retreat to a safe distance.
If such a thing exists.
Siegfried? Say something.
You failed? Failed is a bit strong, I just didn't quite pass.
You failed.
I'm sorry, I just What the hell have you been doing all this term? Boozing, I shouldn't wonder.
Chasing women, spending my money.
Anything but work, I should think.
It's a damn disgrace! The worst of it is, I actually started to think you might be changing your ways.
I didn't try to fail No, but you didn't try very hard to pass either.
And then you lied about it.
Ah, now technically, I didn't lie Technically?! I bought you a bloody car! I was proud of you.
I was proud of you.
Where the devil do you think you're going? I thought we were done.
We're done when I damn well say we're done! All right, we're done! Mrs Hall, have you been moving my things again? By moving, do you mean tidying away your possessions that you leave scattered without rhyme nor reason? Keys? On the hook in the hall.
Where they live.
Well, I certainly won't forget my first car in a hurry.
He'll forgive you, eventually.
Yes, I'm sure he will.
Then I have no doubt he'll find something else to be cross with me about.
I'm sure that goes for me too.
The only way we'll survive my brother is if we stick together.
Tristan? Herriot? Run.
Go! James? What the bloody hell happened to my car?! Tristan! Herriot!
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