All Hail King Julien (2014) s01e02 Episode Script
Poll Position
Presenting you a royal highness, our illustrious King Julien the Thirteen who drove away the foosa and Do I really have to say this? Yes, you do really have to say this! taught us how to dance like no ones watching and love like we`ve never been hurt et cetera, et cetera Hooray everybody! Delta Echo Foxtrot, perimeter is clear.
Bootie-quaker`s taking stage.
Repeat, bootie-quaker`s on the move.
Over! - Who are you talking to? - That`s classified.
You don`t even have a radio-a-a-ah! Roger that.
We`ve got a troublemaker causing a disturbance.
Bringing him in! Over.
Listen to all that hands clapping This is all I ever wanted - to be adored by everybody! People do seem to be digging their new king! Thank you, thank you! I, your king, have decided that in order to keep you all safe we need a really great navy! I`m presenting you our fleet! I call her "Old Porcelainsides"! Eh, she`s a "her" because apparently all boats are girls! For some reason I love you! I love you! I lo-o-ove you! R-r-r I hereby christen you "Old Porcelainsides"! Put you paws together for the captain of this fine vessel - Willie! Come on, let`s go! Ah Are we sure this ship is sea-worthy? Well, it`s pee-worthy Believe it or not - that was my next question Yes, being king is so easy! I don`t know why everybody doesn`t do it? Well, it`s not all fun and games.
You have responsibilities now! Responsibilities? Ha-ha! Good word, Maurice! Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha! Good word, that`s it! Good one, I love it! Why are we laughing?.
.
I`m serious! You supposed to be catching up on current events right now! Current events? Good afternoon! As always I`m Xixi and this is your news.
Mango lovers across the island rejoys.
The recent rainfall should mean a great mango harvest this season.
- C`mon, gimme the good stuff! - Moving on to local gossips.
- Finally! - Sources saw Pancho looking cozy as he canoodled with a new mystery lady.
Is love in the air? I sure hope so! Pancho needs that! And in politics: the latest polling numbers find king Julien`s popularity soaring.
O-o-oh, soaring is a goodly thing for my popularity to be doing! I loved him first! And I love him forever-ever-ever I loved him first! In a recent survey over 99% of the public approve of the job the new king is doing That`s great! The big "nine-nine"! Up time, both hands! Don`t leave a lemur hanging - Turn it off, turn it off! - Wait, what did I say? Yeah, what`s wrong? Do you not see, Maurice? This glass is not half full, it is 1% empty 99% full is actually! A lot more than a half! Your so called "numbers" and "reason" and "understanding of math" out of no comfort when there are lemurs who do not like me.
Le-mur.
As far as I can tell there`s only one.
Do you hear that? Just one! Big deal! Everybody else likes you! You`re the king.
Just make it illegal not to like you.
And I will happily enforce that law.
I can`t wait to see the fear in their eyes as they lie about how great they think you are.
U-uh! I can make a law like that? No! Well, I guess, yeah But you shouldn`t! Everybody And again by "everybody" I mean one lemur, will come around eventually.
Unless the one holdout recruits more lemurs to his side.
This could be the start of the revolution.
Think about it! The gnashing teeth! The blind rage! WE NEED TO STUMP THIS THING OUT NOW! How long was I out? I didn`t hurt anyone, did I? Yeah Instead a worrying about the one discontent disgruntled citizen why not focus on all the stuff you do have? - Great kingdom and a abundant supply of food - Me-e-e!!! Like I was saying - you got a lot to go for you.
And don`t forget that great new ship! Whoa-a-a! I`m sinking! Oh no, sharks! Oh, oh, wait There There`s just dolphins.
Whoa! Really aggressive dolphins! This is literally the worst thing of all time that just happened to me ever! Oh, I would`ve assumed there was having half your family eaten by the foosa.
Huh! Good one, Xixi.
But we all know they was sent away to a farm.
Hey! I`ve got something that`ll make you feel better.
Check it out! Oh Fruits on a stick I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER, MAURICE!!! It`s a visual aid to put together.
I call it "The Cumquat-o-meter"! The pole is the kingdom and these cumquats are all the citizens who like you and the job you`re doing.
See - filled all the way to the top! No.
It is short the one cumquat that doesn`t like me.
If I truly have a hater you have to tell me who it is.
Please! Before you were the most trusted toucan in news, you are my most trusted toucan in friendship.
Oh, yes, we do go pretty far back which is all the more reason for you to do what I want you to do instead of what you think is right! Oh, I`m sorry, but I`ve got to protect my sources.
If they don`t trust me, the info-pipeline`s all dried up! Yes! There`s no reason for me to be worked up or to make a big, huge, giant deal about this.
- MASIKURA!!! - Yes, your majesty Use your lizard psychic tongue to get inside Xixi`s mind and tell me what`s inside it! - Oh no - I couldn`t! There are nine kinds of ethical Grape jelly, a funnel, a pair of women shoes? What did I just see? It was spring break, okay? Come on! Come on, come on, come on, come on! No, can`t do, sorry I`ll be in touch! King Julien, you`re safe for now.
May I have a word with you? I`ve been doing a little recon and just as I feared we`re looking at a real security issue! - Oh, come on! Because of one unhappy lemur? - This is a private intelligence briefing! This thing`s not sound proof! How private can it be? He`s gonna tell me everything later anyway Truly that, I`m really bad in keeping secrets.
As I was saying it starts as one.
But one bad mango can poison the entire kingdom! There`s a bi-ig bad mango Pretty soon you`re losing support left and right and looking on a full-scale bloody uprising! Best key scenario That`s the best key scenario? What`s the worst? You don`t wanna know, trust me.
That`s why I need to interrogate every lemur in the kingdom.
Interrogating everyone will cause a panic! Back me up, king Julien! You`re doing "eeny-meeny-miny-moe" in your head, don`t you? Moe! I mean - no! But if I were I would have landed on Clover.
You may go investigate to see if anyone wants to upraise all over me.
On it! You`re really believe there`s uprising? Eh, couldn't hurt to be safe.
Super embarrassing to get assassinated my first week on the job.
In the meantime, we should get a small group of average lemurs and ask them what they think.
That`s actually not an awful idea.
- And I `ll get to wear a disguise! - No-o-o, it's awful.
First off thank ya all for coming.
I'm gonna jump right in.
Now, if you could improve one thing about the kingdom, what would it be specifically? You, sir! Well, if I had to pick one specific thing I'd probably say nothing.
Hey, that`s great! How many people are happy overall with how the new king`s been doing so far? Hard to do worse than last few idiots.
Okay, Hector.
I`ll go on ahead and put you down for "happy.
" Hello, hello! Sorry I`m late, traffic was a nightmare.
Uh, what are we talking about? Our favorite things about King Julien? Okay! Uh, let`s go around the room and, uh spitball.
Uh, there are no wrong answers.
I can`t be the only one who notices this is just king Julien with a bad fake mustache! What? Ha-ha, I wish I was king Julien! I`m just an average everyday lemur, whose name is Chair lemur table.
Yep, Chair Lemur-table, that`s me.
No! We are not doing this! Wait! Nobody wants to stay and chew the fat with Chair Lemur-table? It`s me, Maurice! Ha-ha-ha! This is not my real mustache! Wow! I can`t believe my eyes.
So I think that went pretty great! Really? We didn`t get past the first question.
Yes, but don`t you see? The "One Percenter", the one we`ve been looking for - it`s Hector! He does seem to hate pretty much everything and everyone.
Now all I have to do is convince a lemur who hates everything that he likes me.
It almost seems too easy.
The truth is out there And when I find it, I`m gonna make it beg for mercy! Knock, knock! - Who's there? It's me, King Julien! - What is it now? Getting right down to business? Nice! I want to stop by and say it was great seeing you earlier, buddy.
Two friends like us should check in on each other, make sure we`re having a good day and that we both like me a lot.
Day is fine, see you.
Oh Hector, I love the way we joke with each other.
Always with the fun times and the laughing.
Ha-ha-ha! Oh, see? I`m doing it right now.
Doesn`t it feel good? Nope.
You have a lovely place.
What is this you're building? My masterpiece.
It is taken me over a year, but I`m almost finished.
Good talk, there is the door.
I am very good with my paws.
You know, there is a nobility in the act of creating.
The world would be a much better place if everybody made art and nobody worked.
I think that went great.
The witch doctors are pretty sure he`ll make a full recovery.
M-m-m Ya-am! But How can What?.
.
83% approval? How is it getting worse? That is the opposite of what I am wanting! Eh, Hector has a large family, honey.
They ain`t your biggest fans right now.
But hey, 83%! That`s still huge.
Up top! I don`t even know why I try On the bright side, at least now we know Hector was the "One Percenter".
And we know we`re never ever gonna change his mind so we can now move on with our ever-loving lives.
E-eh, actually Hector refused to answer the question.
He is clean.
I checked him out all the way back to his ancestors.
- What`s up with all this? - This is the start of a rebellion! I told you all it takes is one! And now these new poll numbers! By my calculations we`re looking at a full-on conspiracy!!! Don`t do that thing with the eye aga-ain.
U-uh, conspiracy! That sounds so dangerous and exciting! and overblown, and paranoid.
Yes! Exactly! Keep up the good work, Clover.
Thank you and on it! - Is she always like this? - She is usually worse, baby.
On to much importanter issues.
It`s been brought to my attention by my own brain just now.
That we need to do something for the 17 percentage who don't like me to let them know I am on their side.
I don`t know, your Majesty Maybe we should just let this blow over? Yeah, that sounds a lot like waiting.
The problem is annoying me right now! I guess it couldn`t hurt to do something simple that plays to your strengths.
Yes! My boyish good looks My mind-blowing dance moves, eh.
.
Yeah! My double-jointed thumb, check it! A-aw! Too far! Too far! Maurice, don`t you see what the problem with your first idea was? It was actually your idea! I was hiding, instead of being in front and center.
I need to make a real connection with my adoring subjects and show`em that I`m simple down-to-earth lemur of the people.
Now go get my tuxedo! King Julien! Hey! Hello, loyal subjects and fanboys.
I - king Julien, would like to make a personal connection with you by kissing your offsprings.
And listening to your opinions because I value them.
Eh Now bring to me the low-hanging fruits of your loins! This is actually going pretty good! I know, I`m like a genius of baby-kissing! This is so easy! - Here you go - Keep it going, they are loving it! Everything I imagined it would be Mort! I am busy winning everyone`s approval! Well, you got my vote, mister president! Hi-hi-hi I`ll never wash this forehead aga-a-ain! - Oh no! The king just kicked a baby! - No, no! That was no baby, that was an annoying little weirdo! - He just called that baby a weirdo! - The king hates babies! Eating my weight in cumquats was my dream job The dream has become a nightmare Why does he have to eat all the kumquats again? Because it`s the only thing that brings me joy anymore, that`s why.
Ever since I was a little lemur boy people have always liked me.
That adorable child has star quality - they`d say.
My own child is a disappointment next to how likable little Julien is.
Is it too much to ask for my citizens to like me as much as I like them? Here I am doing all the talking You are welcome to jump in! Is Clover right? Is there a bad mango poisoning everything? Let us be honest - is there even such a thing as a bad mango? What kind of weirdo doesn't love mangoes? Is that the point you are making? That if I give mangoes to everyone, they'll be all: "Hey, check out the free mangoes! Great job, king Julien! We like you, buddy!" Oh, Amelia, you are more than just a pretty face! Icepick.
Fat Carmine.
Skinny Carmine.
Vinnie Tickles.
And the Yam-burglar Think, Clover, think! It`s all right there in front of you.
You just You have to connect the dots.
It can`t be! Huh, guess I still have a few more dots to connect.
My idea is brilliant! There should be a word for giving people things to win their approval.
- You mean bribery? - Bribery U-uh, sounds so noble! Mort, have you collected all the mangoes for the bribery? I have collected them! And I saved the sweetest one for you, king Julien.
- I should wake her up.
- I wouldn't.
I killed the king! Oh, no! But But I can`t feel my anything Oh! Sorry, I`ve been up for two days! My mind is free from mundane distractions.
I love how dangerous I feel right now! - Would you like to hear what I`ve found? - Okay, sure! Go right ahead I started with the simple idea that everyone`s a suspect.
From there I I can tell if somebody`s lying.
Her mouth was saying "Yes", but a twitchy eye was saying that "Maybe".
That, my friends, was a game-changer! It is always the quiet ones, you know? Just Just Whoa! And I`m all r-r-rppp A bigger conspiracy? The new world order? The old world order? So in conclusion, I`ve learned that the hater The "One Percenter" The citizen who truly has it out for King Julien is That is all I`ve got so far You really need to get some rest, girl.
You`re sounding a little cuckoo, cuckoo! He-he-he, bird noises! Yeah, can`t we just call off the investigation and move on? But I`m so close to solving this thing! Give me one more day, please! - Yeah, knock yourself out! - On it! Let us bribery the kingdom with mangoes! Hey! The king is okay with me! Like mangoes are gonna help the situation He`s a strong leader I can really get behind! It is raining mangoes! Hallelujah! Ha-ha-ha! Mort! Go long, buddy! I can`t believe King Julien convinced me to go out in this stupid leaky potty boat! He's the worst! Sweet mango! You`re the best, king J! - Julien! Julien! Julien! - See? You were worried for nothing! - I told you they like you.
- E-eh I got some bad news.
Looks like we`re just about out of mangoes! Well, may be they`ve had enough mangoes already? More mangoes! More mangoes! More mangoes! More mangoes! More mangoes! More mangoes! Okay, okay, be patient.
Everyone will get a mango.
- You know that`s not true! - Sh-sh! Maurice, it`s called "stalling"! Fellas, I am not sure this tree is going to hold much more weight! Oh, you worry too much! Okay, may be you worry the correct amount! Folks! We need everyone to back up! Yes, yes! Look at me! I have saved this mango! I think they`re a little more impressed you saved a baby! Oh, but that is ridiculous, Maurice! You can`t even eat a baby! Yes, yes, love me, the savior of this adorable, little mango! and also a baby, I guess.
Everybody loves you again! You`re back on top.
I have learned a valuable lesson today.
You realized the folks closest to you are the ones whose opinions really matter? I was going to say I learned any time things are going bad for me, I can publicly rescue a small child.
But maybe you're right.
Besides what do I care about one dummy who doesn`t like me? I bet I like that dummy even less.
Ha-ha, I`m over it! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that`s it? You`re over it? But what about my investigation? I can easily make up for the one hater.
I`ll just have to love myself twice as much! Maurice, make sure that`s reflected in my schedule.
- But I haven`t solved the case yet! - I know, but I've totally lost interest, so who cares now? - Hold on a minute, Mort.
- M-m-me-e-e? All the clues pointed to you, but it didn`t add up.
I thought I was cracking under the pressure, thought I was going crazy! - Well, um-m - Why`d you do it, Mort? Why`d you say you don`t like King Julien? I don`t like King Julien! I love him Translation: CCCP2976i/ Season 1, episode 02 "Poll Position"i/
Bootie-quaker`s taking stage.
Repeat, bootie-quaker`s on the move.
Over! - Who are you talking to? - That`s classified.
You don`t even have a radio-a-a-ah! Roger that.
We`ve got a troublemaker causing a disturbance.
Bringing him in! Over.
Listen to all that hands clapping This is all I ever wanted - to be adored by everybody! People do seem to be digging their new king! Thank you, thank you! I, your king, have decided that in order to keep you all safe we need a really great navy! I`m presenting you our fleet! I call her "Old Porcelainsides"! Eh, she`s a "her" because apparently all boats are girls! For some reason I love you! I love you! I lo-o-ove you! R-r-r I hereby christen you "Old Porcelainsides"! Put you paws together for the captain of this fine vessel - Willie! Come on, let`s go! Ah Are we sure this ship is sea-worthy? Well, it`s pee-worthy Believe it or not - that was my next question Yes, being king is so easy! I don`t know why everybody doesn`t do it? Well, it`s not all fun and games.
You have responsibilities now! Responsibilities? Ha-ha! Good word, Maurice! Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha! Good word, that`s it! Good one, I love it! Why are we laughing?.
.
I`m serious! You supposed to be catching up on current events right now! Current events? Good afternoon! As always I`m Xixi and this is your news.
Mango lovers across the island rejoys.
The recent rainfall should mean a great mango harvest this season.
- C`mon, gimme the good stuff! - Moving on to local gossips.
- Finally! - Sources saw Pancho looking cozy as he canoodled with a new mystery lady.
Is love in the air? I sure hope so! Pancho needs that! And in politics: the latest polling numbers find king Julien`s popularity soaring.
O-o-oh, soaring is a goodly thing for my popularity to be doing! I loved him first! And I love him forever-ever-ever I loved him first! In a recent survey over 99% of the public approve of the job the new king is doing That`s great! The big "nine-nine"! Up time, both hands! Don`t leave a lemur hanging - Turn it off, turn it off! - Wait, what did I say? Yeah, what`s wrong? Do you not see, Maurice? This glass is not half full, it is 1% empty 99% full is actually! A lot more than a half! Your so called "numbers" and "reason" and "understanding of math" out of no comfort when there are lemurs who do not like me.
Le-mur.
As far as I can tell there`s only one.
Do you hear that? Just one! Big deal! Everybody else likes you! You`re the king.
Just make it illegal not to like you.
And I will happily enforce that law.
I can`t wait to see the fear in their eyes as they lie about how great they think you are.
U-uh! I can make a law like that? No! Well, I guess, yeah But you shouldn`t! Everybody And again by "everybody" I mean one lemur, will come around eventually.
Unless the one holdout recruits more lemurs to his side.
This could be the start of the revolution.
Think about it! The gnashing teeth! The blind rage! WE NEED TO STUMP THIS THING OUT NOW! How long was I out? I didn`t hurt anyone, did I? Yeah Instead a worrying about the one discontent disgruntled citizen why not focus on all the stuff you do have? - Great kingdom and a abundant supply of food - Me-e-e!!! Like I was saying - you got a lot to go for you.
And don`t forget that great new ship! Whoa-a-a! I`m sinking! Oh no, sharks! Oh, oh, wait There There`s just dolphins.
Whoa! Really aggressive dolphins! This is literally the worst thing of all time that just happened to me ever! Oh, I would`ve assumed there was having half your family eaten by the foosa.
Huh! Good one, Xixi.
But we all know they was sent away to a farm.
Hey! I`ve got something that`ll make you feel better.
Check it out! Oh Fruits on a stick I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER, MAURICE!!! It`s a visual aid to put together.
I call it "The Cumquat-o-meter"! The pole is the kingdom and these cumquats are all the citizens who like you and the job you`re doing.
See - filled all the way to the top! No.
It is short the one cumquat that doesn`t like me.
If I truly have a hater you have to tell me who it is.
Please! Before you were the most trusted toucan in news, you are my most trusted toucan in friendship.
Oh, yes, we do go pretty far back which is all the more reason for you to do what I want you to do instead of what you think is right! Oh, I`m sorry, but I`ve got to protect my sources.
If they don`t trust me, the info-pipeline`s all dried up! Yes! There`s no reason for me to be worked up or to make a big, huge, giant deal about this.
- MASIKURA!!! - Yes, your majesty Use your lizard psychic tongue to get inside Xixi`s mind and tell me what`s inside it! - Oh no - I couldn`t! There are nine kinds of ethical Grape jelly, a funnel, a pair of women shoes? What did I just see? It was spring break, okay? Come on! Come on, come on, come on, come on! No, can`t do, sorry I`ll be in touch! King Julien, you`re safe for now.
May I have a word with you? I`ve been doing a little recon and just as I feared we`re looking at a real security issue! - Oh, come on! Because of one unhappy lemur? - This is a private intelligence briefing! This thing`s not sound proof! How private can it be? He`s gonna tell me everything later anyway Truly that, I`m really bad in keeping secrets.
As I was saying it starts as one.
But one bad mango can poison the entire kingdom! There`s a bi-ig bad mango Pretty soon you`re losing support left and right and looking on a full-scale bloody uprising! Best key scenario That`s the best key scenario? What`s the worst? You don`t wanna know, trust me.
That`s why I need to interrogate every lemur in the kingdom.
Interrogating everyone will cause a panic! Back me up, king Julien! You`re doing "eeny-meeny-miny-moe" in your head, don`t you? Moe! I mean - no! But if I were I would have landed on Clover.
You may go investigate to see if anyone wants to upraise all over me.
On it! You`re really believe there`s uprising? Eh, couldn't hurt to be safe.
Super embarrassing to get assassinated my first week on the job.
In the meantime, we should get a small group of average lemurs and ask them what they think.
That`s actually not an awful idea.
- And I `ll get to wear a disguise! - No-o-o, it's awful.
First off thank ya all for coming.
I'm gonna jump right in.
Now, if you could improve one thing about the kingdom, what would it be specifically? You, sir! Well, if I had to pick one specific thing I'd probably say nothing.
Hey, that`s great! How many people are happy overall with how the new king`s been doing so far? Hard to do worse than last few idiots.
Okay, Hector.
I`ll go on ahead and put you down for "happy.
" Hello, hello! Sorry I`m late, traffic was a nightmare.
Uh, what are we talking about? Our favorite things about King Julien? Okay! Uh, let`s go around the room and, uh spitball.
Uh, there are no wrong answers.
I can`t be the only one who notices this is just king Julien with a bad fake mustache! What? Ha-ha, I wish I was king Julien! I`m just an average everyday lemur, whose name is Chair lemur table.
Yep, Chair Lemur-table, that`s me.
No! We are not doing this! Wait! Nobody wants to stay and chew the fat with Chair Lemur-table? It`s me, Maurice! Ha-ha-ha! This is not my real mustache! Wow! I can`t believe my eyes.
So I think that went pretty great! Really? We didn`t get past the first question.
Yes, but don`t you see? The "One Percenter", the one we`ve been looking for - it`s Hector! He does seem to hate pretty much everything and everyone.
Now all I have to do is convince a lemur who hates everything that he likes me.
It almost seems too easy.
The truth is out there And when I find it, I`m gonna make it beg for mercy! Knock, knock! - Who's there? It's me, King Julien! - What is it now? Getting right down to business? Nice! I want to stop by and say it was great seeing you earlier, buddy.
Two friends like us should check in on each other, make sure we`re having a good day and that we both like me a lot.
Day is fine, see you.
Oh Hector, I love the way we joke with each other.
Always with the fun times and the laughing.
Ha-ha-ha! Oh, see? I`m doing it right now.
Doesn`t it feel good? Nope.
You have a lovely place.
What is this you're building? My masterpiece.
It is taken me over a year, but I`m almost finished.
Good talk, there is the door.
I am very good with my paws.
You know, there is a nobility in the act of creating.
The world would be a much better place if everybody made art and nobody worked.
I think that went great.
The witch doctors are pretty sure he`ll make a full recovery.
M-m-m Ya-am! But How can What?.
.
83% approval? How is it getting worse? That is the opposite of what I am wanting! Eh, Hector has a large family, honey.
They ain`t your biggest fans right now.
But hey, 83%! That`s still huge.
Up top! I don`t even know why I try On the bright side, at least now we know Hector was the "One Percenter".
And we know we`re never ever gonna change his mind so we can now move on with our ever-loving lives.
E-eh, actually Hector refused to answer the question.
He is clean.
I checked him out all the way back to his ancestors.
- What`s up with all this? - This is the start of a rebellion! I told you all it takes is one! And now these new poll numbers! By my calculations we`re looking at a full-on conspiracy!!! Don`t do that thing with the eye aga-ain.
U-uh, conspiracy! That sounds so dangerous and exciting! and overblown, and paranoid.
Yes! Exactly! Keep up the good work, Clover.
Thank you and on it! - Is she always like this? - She is usually worse, baby.
On to much importanter issues.
It`s been brought to my attention by my own brain just now.
That we need to do something for the 17 percentage who don't like me to let them know I am on their side.
I don`t know, your Majesty Maybe we should just let this blow over? Yeah, that sounds a lot like waiting.
The problem is annoying me right now! I guess it couldn`t hurt to do something simple that plays to your strengths.
Yes! My boyish good looks My mind-blowing dance moves, eh.
.
Yeah! My double-jointed thumb, check it! A-aw! Too far! Too far! Maurice, don`t you see what the problem with your first idea was? It was actually your idea! I was hiding, instead of being in front and center.
I need to make a real connection with my adoring subjects and show`em that I`m simple down-to-earth lemur of the people.
Now go get my tuxedo! King Julien! Hey! Hello, loyal subjects and fanboys.
I - king Julien, would like to make a personal connection with you by kissing your offsprings.
And listening to your opinions because I value them.
Eh Now bring to me the low-hanging fruits of your loins! This is actually going pretty good! I know, I`m like a genius of baby-kissing! This is so easy! - Here you go - Keep it going, they are loving it! Everything I imagined it would be Mort! I am busy winning everyone`s approval! Well, you got my vote, mister president! Hi-hi-hi I`ll never wash this forehead aga-a-ain! - Oh no! The king just kicked a baby! - No, no! That was no baby, that was an annoying little weirdo! - He just called that baby a weirdo! - The king hates babies! Eating my weight in cumquats was my dream job The dream has become a nightmare Why does he have to eat all the kumquats again? Because it`s the only thing that brings me joy anymore, that`s why.
Ever since I was a little lemur boy people have always liked me.
That adorable child has star quality - they`d say.
My own child is a disappointment next to how likable little Julien is.
Is it too much to ask for my citizens to like me as much as I like them? Here I am doing all the talking You are welcome to jump in! Is Clover right? Is there a bad mango poisoning everything? Let us be honest - is there even such a thing as a bad mango? What kind of weirdo doesn't love mangoes? Is that the point you are making? That if I give mangoes to everyone, they'll be all: "Hey, check out the free mangoes! Great job, king Julien! We like you, buddy!" Oh, Amelia, you are more than just a pretty face! Icepick.
Fat Carmine.
Skinny Carmine.
Vinnie Tickles.
And the Yam-burglar Think, Clover, think! It`s all right there in front of you.
You just You have to connect the dots.
It can`t be! Huh, guess I still have a few more dots to connect.
My idea is brilliant! There should be a word for giving people things to win their approval.
- You mean bribery? - Bribery U-uh, sounds so noble! Mort, have you collected all the mangoes for the bribery? I have collected them! And I saved the sweetest one for you, king Julien.
- I should wake her up.
- I wouldn't.
I killed the king! Oh, no! But But I can`t feel my anything Oh! Sorry, I`ve been up for two days! My mind is free from mundane distractions.
I love how dangerous I feel right now! - Would you like to hear what I`ve found? - Okay, sure! Go right ahead I started with the simple idea that everyone`s a suspect.
From there I I can tell if somebody`s lying.
Her mouth was saying "Yes", but a twitchy eye was saying that "Maybe".
That, my friends, was a game-changer! It is always the quiet ones, you know? Just Just Whoa! And I`m all r-r-rppp A bigger conspiracy? The new world order? The old world order? So in conclusion, I`ve learned that the hater The "One Percenter" The citizen who truly has it out for King Julien is That is all I`ve got so far You really need to get some rest, girl.
You`re sounding a little cuckoo, cuckoo! He-he-he, bird noises! Yeah, can`t we just call off the investigation and move on? But I`m so close to solving this thing! Give me one more day, please! - Yeah, knock yourself out! - On it! Let us bribery the kingdom with mangoes! Hey! The king is okay with me! Like mangoes are gonna help the situation He`s a strong leader I can really get behind! It is raining mangoes! Hallelujah! Ha-ha-ha! Mort! Go long, buddy! I can`t believe King Julien convinced me to go out in this stupid leaky potty boat! He's the worst! Sweet mango! You`re the best, king J! - Julien! Julien! Julien! - See? You were worried for nothing! - I told you they like you.
- E-eh I got some bad news.
Looks like we`re just about out of mangoes! Well, may be they`ve had enough mangoes already? More mangoes! More mangoes! More mangoes! More mangoes! More mangoes! More mangoes! Okay, okay, be patient.
Everyone will get a mango.
- You know that`s not true! - Sh-sh! Maurice, it`s called "stalling"! Fellas, I am not sure this tree is going to hold much more weight! Oh, you worry too much! Okay, may be you worry the correct amount! Folks! We need everyone to back up! Yes, yes! Look at me! I have saved this mango! I think they`re a little more impressed you saved a baby! Oh, but that is ridiculous, Maurice! You can`t even eat a baby! Yes, yes, love me, the savior of this adorable, little mango! and also a baby, I guess.
Everybody loves you again! You`re back on top.
I have learned a valuable lesson today.
You realized the folks closest to you are the ones whose opinions really matter? I was going to say I learned any time things are going bad for me, I can publicly rescue a small child.
But maybe you're right.
Besides what do I care about one dummy who doesn`t like me? I bet I like that dummy even less.
Ha-ha, I`m over it! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that`s it? You`re over it? But what about my investigation? I can easily make up for the one hater.
I`ll just have to love myself twice as much! Maurice, make sure that`s reflected in my schedule.
- But I haven`t solved the case yet! - I know, but I've totally lost interest, so who cares now? - Hold on a minute, Mort.
- M-m-me-e-e? All the clues pointed to you, but it didn`t add up.
I thought I was cracking under the pressure, thought I was going crazy! - Well, um-m - Why`d you do it, Mort? Why`d you say you don`t like King Julien? I don`t like King Julien! I love him Translation: CCCP2976i/ Season 1, episode 02 "Poll Position"i/