All Hail King Julien (2014) s01e05 Episode Script

Return of the Uncle King

1 [dance music playing.]
Party - Who's the king? - King Julien! - Who's the king? - King Julien! Get down for the get down - Everybody party with King who? - King Julien! - King who? - King Julien! Tonight will be forever Let's do King Julien style Now tell me who's the king All hail King Julien! [loud dance music plays.]
Yeah! [grunts.]
[all cheering.]
OK, let's take this to the next level, my peoples! Just throw your paws into the air, and wave them like you just aren't caring about them.
- [laughing.]
- [cheering.]
Yeah! No, no, no.
Care about them even less! Like they mean nothing to you! Ah! Ah! [giggles.]
More! You really hate those paws.
They're so small and irritating, but you can't get rid of-- - Huh? [grunts.]
- [Mort whimpering.]
- [gasping.]
- Uh! [shouting.]
- Whoo-hoo! - Yes! Yes, that's it! [shouting, laughing.]
[cheering.]
Whoa! - [cheering.]
- [Julien laughing.]
[rhythmically grunting.]
What's happening? Are we under attack!? - [Julien grunting.]
- Huh? Ah! Oof! Another waterslide? Really? Clover, you silly prone-to-violence person.
Yes, it is another waterslide.
My people love water, so they deserve to slide down it.
Love me, my people, for I am the bringer of wet heinie! [cheering.]
You see? A great king must be loved by his people! - [all cheering.]
- [Maurice laughs.]
- The king sure knows how to have fun.
- I know.
It's OK for you - to have fun too, right? - Huh? Hey-- [laughs.]
I know how to have fun when I want to.
Hey, Clover, I was just wondering if you wanted to dan-- [screams.]
Step inside the circle of comfort, you get the paw.
Happy New Year-- Ah! Gotta clip those claws, brother.
Thought you had a knife.
- [sobbing.]
- Why so sad, Dorothy? It's not like your hut just burned down.
[steam hissing.]
Oh [laughs weakly.]
- [grunts.]
- Oh! Not one of those stories helps make your point.
Look, what I'm trying to say is somebody has to make sure everyone else is safe, so your precious fun can happen.
Check it out, people! One cheek! [laughs.]
- [shouting.]
- [creaking.]
[laughing.]
What is that delicious aroma? So familiar.
Ooh! [screaming.]
My royal behind is burning! Ah! Ah! Ah! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Ah! Who dares turn off the water? [male voice.]
Little old me dares! [gasps.]
- He's - back! Old man, why do you look familiar? [gasps.]
Are you Future Me!? I am your uncle, Julien.
Uh, no, why would my future me be my uncle? It doesn't, see-- Uncle King Julien.
Yeah, it makes no sense, that's what I was-- [groans.]
Listen, because it does, OK? Wait, is this like "I'm your own grandpa" freaky time travel thing? I'm not future you.
I'm your uncle! - Hm - Huh? Huh? Oh, the ex-king.
Yeah, he left.
In kind of a hurry, actually.
Your Majesty, that is your uncle.
Hold on, hold on.
Let me catch up.
[inhales, exhales.]
There.
Still not following.
[groans.]
Uncle! Bet you're surprised to see me alive after Masikura said I was going to be eaten! You have no idea how grateful I am that the prophecy was wrong.
Well, not completely wrong.
Check out this scar.
It's pretty awesome battle damage, right? As long as you're alive.
I had hoped-- feared-- feared that I had to come out of retirement - to take over for you.
- Nope.
I'm all good.
So, uh why did you come back, Uncle? What a brilliant question! The reason for my visit.
Hm Right here on the tip of my tongue.
It's coming, it's coming.
Hm Oh, I have news about our enemy.
There's jungle gossip.
An all-out foosa attack on the lemur kingdom.
Nephew! Hello.
Wake up! [gulping loudly.]
- Still waiting for the news.
- That was the news.
Oh.
[spits, coughs.]
That's not very good.
Right, how do you plan to respond? Uh hope they get lost? I understand.
And thank you, Julien, for giving me this gift.
Well, you're most welcome-- Uncle, say what? When I first overheard the foosa, I was going to sneak into their den myself to find out their plan.
But then I thought, "How dare I steal this opportunity from my dear, dear nephew to achieve immortality.
" - [gasps.]
Immortality? - Yes.
But clearly, it's not for you.
Gotta go.
Eh Now, don't be so hasty.
Tell me more about this immortality.
It's what every king strives for.
What every lemur child learns about in their "Most Immortal Lemur of All Time" class.
Really? And how long does this "immortality" last? For life.
- [bell dings.]
- [cuckoo clock sounds.]
Party, party Life's an endless party, party You wanna go where!? And do what!? I told you, I am going to sneak into the foosa territory and suss out their heinous attack plan.
Foosa eat, foosa sleep.
Foosa do not plan! Well, this time they are, and I must find out what that plan plans.
Forgive me, Your Majesty, but this whole thing sounds like - [stammers.]
What's the word? - Uh, immortality? Suicide! Shouldn't Clover-- No! The reward-- I mean risk is too great.
The mission is secret.
That's why I've created this! Uh Huh? [laughs.]
A foosa disguise! The real foosa will never know it is us! [laughs.]
Us? So what's the plan, Your Majesty? [laughs.]
Oh, good one, Maurice.
- [farts.]
- [gagging.]
- [Julien.]
Oh - Why are your haunches quivering? You know it's never too late to turn back, King Julien.
[Uncle King Julien.]
Immortality.
Ooh! Head voice.
[Uncle King Julien echoing.]
Note the impressive echo, echo, echo - Um, is everything all right? - Perfect, Maurice.
Better than perfect, perfect, perfect [humming.]
[grunts.]
Your Majesty, I-- [gasps.]
Sorry, sir, I thought you were King Julien.
I'm King Julien, too.
I'm just not the King Julien you were looking for.
[laughing.]
You see what I did there? He's Julien, I'm Julien.
Oh, my goodness! A big "J" on my forehead! [chuckles nervously.]
Oh See, the other Julien is doing what the other Julien does best: - goofing off in the jungle.
- In the jungle? Without me to guard him? Well, I think you'll be pleased to learn that while he's away, I'll be filling in.
You can have the pleasure of guarding me.
- Uh - [Mort.]
King Julien! King Julien! Time for moonlight bouncy-bounce at the trampol-- Feet! These are not the flawless feet of my King Julien that haunt my dreams with pleasure.
Who--? - [growling.]
- Ah! Who is this little, annoying thing? This is Mort.
He's, um [stammers.]
He's Julien's - Best friend! - He's an acquired taste.
Why are you wearing King Julien's crown? Only the king should wear the crown, which is not you.
It is Julien.
The other Julien.
The one I love so much because he's about a billion times better than you! Yeah, I'd like to have him destroyed at your earliest convenience.
I want to be destroyed by my King Julien! [screaming, sobbing.]
[howling.]
[all snarling, howling.]
Is it as bad as it sounds, Your Majesty? Worse.
This party is so last century.
A mosh pit? Oh! I'm ashamed to even be here, Maurice.
So then maybe we should leave.
Let's go.
[shouting.]
[grunting.]
[Maurice.]
What's going on? All I can see is your tushy! [Julien whispers.]
Quiet, Maurice.
[clears throat.]
[raspy voice.]
Uh, hi, hello.
Uh, how are you? [roars.]
- Hm? - Hm? [snarling.]
That does not sound good.
Let's get out of here.
No, Maurice.
We have a chance for immortality here.
Do you not want immortality? You can't be immortal if you die before becoming immortal.
- We're going! - I say we're staying! - [Maurice.]
Going! - [Julien.]
Staying! [both grunting.]
- Ah! - Huh? - [laughs weakly.]
- [snarling.]
[all growling.]
[whimpering.]
Let me back in! [Maurice grunting.]
[making chewing sounds.]
[laughs.]
Uh! [whimpering.]
[grunting.]
OK! OK! You win, Your Majesty, we'll stay! - Just don't do it again! - [Julien.]
All right.
[swallows loudly.]
[growling.]
Foosa awesome! We're gonna die! No, Maurice, if I'm not mistaken, we've just been invited to join the party.
- [dance music playing.]
- [cheering.]
By the gods, Clover, what are they doing? [Clover clears throat.]
That's the stretching spa, Your Former Majesty.
New King Julien felt the kingdom wasn't limber enough.
I believe his exact words were, "Any lemur who can't grind booty to the floor is dead to me.
" Yeah, that's what he said.
I assume there have been other changes? A few.
Many.
Dozens, actually.
I want to see them all! This is King Julien's composting and knitting spa.
[chuckles.]
I'm making a tea cozy for my King Julien! This is King Julien's bungee jumping spa.
Whoa! This is King Julien's trampoline spa.
- I'm beginning to see a theme.
- Shall we continue on? - No, I do not want to continue! - [lemurs screaming.]
Now, I know that you and I didn't always get along, Clover You forbid me to speak unless it was an emergency, because you said that my paranoia gave you gas.
Yes.
But that was then, and this is now.
Defenses down.
Lemurs enjoying themselves in broad daylight.
It can't be easy for you.
I won't lie, Your Former Majesty.
Initially, it got my fur in a twist.
Did some soul searching, when that didn't work, - beat up some random strangers.
- Ah! Exactly! Fear is what motivates people to do their best, not fun.
Well, that's not what I meant.
I mean, things aren't running perfectly, but-- - Tear it down! - I'm sorry what? I'll say it again, real slow.
Tear.
It.
Down.
[snarling.]
[dance music plays.]
- [panting.]
- [grunting.]
- [panting.]
- [laughs.]
Who knew being a foosa could be so much fun? Let me think.
Oh, yeah, no one! [Julien.]
Aw, come on, Maurice.
Get into it.
We are shaping homicidal minds here.
[Maurice.]
You mean the same homicidal minds that were attached to homicidal jaws that will soon be chompin' on our sorry selves? Uh, wow.
Somebody woke up on the wrong side of my butt this morning.
Your Majesty, don't you think we should be trying find out what the foosa are up to? Their plan? That is the reason we are here.
You are so impatient, Maurice.
Yes, that is why we are here, of course.
I haven't lost sight-- Uh! [groans.]
No! The hips must swivel, not jerk.
- Work it, foosa, don't waste it.
- [Maurice grunting.]
- [grunting.]
- [howls.]
[Maurice.]
What's going on out there? I think they want us to join in on their foosa competitions.
- Oh, no! - Oh, yes! Time to show these foosa how it's done.
[Julien grunting.]
- Foosa, look! Lemurs! - Huh? [groans.]
[grunting.]
Huh? [Julien.]
Keep digging, Maurice! You're doing great! [snarling.]
[howling.]
[dance beat plays.]
- [Julien howling.]
- [all exclaiming, howling.]
[cheering.]
I am killing it, Maurice! They've never seen anything like me before! Great.
Hopefully then we can find out what they are planning.
Uh, Your Majesty, is something nuzzling us? [purring.]
[Julien.]
It's just a girl foosa.
At least, I think it's a girl.
- Wait, I know that sound.
- [foosa purring.]
- Oh, no.
No! - [Julien.]
Maurice, this is amazing.
I believe I am taking part in some sort of foosa mating ritual! There's no "I" here right now! This is most definitely an "us" situation! - I'm in here too, remember? - Is someone jealous? Ooh! I think she's about to pay you some attention.
King Julien, stop her right now before - [foosa sniffing.]
- Before that happens.
[purring.]
Maurice, do you realize if I play this right, I could start a whole new species.
A creature with my looks and style and intelligence that is also capable of devouring me in seconds.
[laughs.]
Suck on that, immortality! [lemurs groaning.]
- You're kidding me.
- Come on! Gimme a break, huh? I'm just doing my job.
[sobbing.]
Cut it out, Mort.
I'm sure Uncle King Julien knows what he's doing.
[Mort sobbing loudly.]
No, no, no! Mort! Don't you dare lay a single cheek on that slide.
Try and stop me, enemy of fun! Fun traitor! Take that back! I love danger.
Fun leads to danger.
Therefore, I love fun.
I mean obvious! - I don't believe you! - Oh, yeah? [grunts.]
Whoo! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Uh! [gasps.]
You see that? I can have fun! I can have-- [gasps.]
I just had fun, and it wasn't that bad.
One of us! One of us! Gooble gobble, gooble-- Ooh! I can't believe I had fun.
Me! How could this happen? [laughing.]
I want to do it again! What am I gonna do? Clover, you're sweating like a bush pig.
What's wrong? Wait a minute! Is this jungle fever? Hold still.
I know a cure.
It's water.
From the waterslide.
That I slid down.
And you know what I liked it! Did I not tell you to shut down the waterslide? Why on earth-- Wait a minute.
Is this part of the jungle fever? Hold still.
I have a cure.
It's not jungle fever! No [chuckles.]
disrespect, Your Majesty, but for the first time in a long time, the kingdom is happy.
King Julien has made this a better place.
Still needs a little work, but I intend to honor his changes until he gets back.
You're wasting your breath! He is not coming back! - Oh! - Say that again, real slow.
I don't want to miss a word.
[purring.]
[Julien.]
Foosa like.
Foosa you.
[purring.]
So this is how it ends, trapped inside a foosa suit with a mad king who's fallen in love with a lemur eater.
I suppose it could be worse.
[sobs.]
No, it couldn't! [Julien purrs.]
Hold that foosa thought.
I'll be right foosa back.
[Julien moaning.]
What is wrong with you? You are totally blowing my foosa mojo.
You've gone native, Your Majesty! No, Maurice, this is all strategic: keep your friends close, and mate with your enemies.
Hello! Soon this whole foosa kingdom will be mine.
[Maurice.]
But you already have a kingdom and they're probably lost without their king.
But they do have a king, Maurice.
My uncle said he would substitute king until I got back.
Substitute? Wait, your uncle told you to do this? Yeah.
He's the one who told me the foosa were planning big things and that I should sneak into their territory and get the skinny.
Foosa you.
And foosa you.
- Foosa married.
- [purring.]
Your Majesty, I think your uncle set you up! Uh-uh-uh! Not now, Maurice.
We're getting married! - We're getting who now? - I'm going to be a bride! Or, a groom! What-- Either works! Foosa I do! [smacking kiss.]
[Uncle King Julien moaning.]
What is the point of this? He was probably eaten hours ago.
Keep that up and I'm introducing you to the twin sisters: Laverne and Shirley.
Clover, come on.
Fear versus fun.
The choice is pretty obvious.
Sure is.
[Wedding March plays.]
[Julien.]
You know, Maurice, ever since I was a little prince lemur-- I was so cute-- I've dreamed of my wedding day.
It wasn't to a foosa, of course.
Do you remember Karen, the lemur who lived in the tree next door with the cute, misshapen paw? I always thought it would be her.
I wonder where she is now.
Eaten.
By a foosa, Your Majesty.
Could be the one you're about to marry.
Ironic.
In a way, I'd be marrying them both.
- Ha! It's win-win! - Your Majesty, please.
Listen to reason! Your uncle sent you on this mission to get eaten so he could reclaim the throne! Maurice, is that just "wedding envy" talk I'm hearing? I'm not going to let you do this.
[Julien.]
Uh, I think someone is forgetting their place back there in Buttsville! [Maurice.]
That's it! I want out! - [grunting.]
- [laughs, blows nose.]
- [grunts.]
Stay right where you are! - No! [grunting.]
- Hm? - Huh? [grunting.]
[indistinct shouting.]
[straining.]
[foosa.]
Huh?! [grunts.]
Oh Oh! [Julien.]
Maurice, you get back inside me right now! Ah Ah! - Huh? - Foosa eat doo-doo? Foosa no! Foosa disgusting! [vomiting.]
I can never un-see that.
That's the guy you want as king? - Absolutely.
- Ooh! Now just hold still, Your Majesty.
[growling.]
Uh I think the nuptials might be off.
If you are going to eat me, I recommend you start with the backside.
It is much juicier and full of delicious marbling.
[Maurice.]
That's muscle! [Clover.]
Hey, dummies! Over here! Who wants a delicious lemur piñata, filled with gooey goodness? Clover? What are you doing here? - It's called rescuing my king.
- Huh? - Huh? - [growling.]
Guys, there's some coming back! - Stay close to me.
- Uh, yeah.
Not gonna be a problem.
[growling.]
[grunting.]
- Oh! - [foosa grunting.]
- [snarling.]
- [Clover.]
Come here, you! - [Maurice laughing.]
- Huh? [howling in pain.]
Oof! - [gagging.]
- [whimpering.]
So you're telling me this whole thing was just a ruse for Uncle King Julien to reclaim his throne? Maurice, you are my advisor.
Why is this the first I am hearing of this? [groans.]
Oy vey And you! You chose me, Clover? Don't let it go to your head.
Do I think a kingdom should be fun 24/7? No.
It's dangerous.
But living in fear is worse.
And admittedly, for me, danger is fun.
So [laughs.]
yeah.
Aw! I'm touched.
Uh You're not getting a raise or a better tree, though.
Anyone wanna take a turn? My arms are getting tired.
Ooh! I'll go.
- [muffled shouting.]
- [foosa snarling.]
So what are we gonna do with him? Dude is not to be trusted.
Now Maurice, please, he is still family.
And family always deserves a second chance.
We shall give him a chance at a new life! Oh, my head is inside something.
No, this can't be happening! Julien, what have you done?! [screaming.]
Oh, no!
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