All Hail King Julien (2014) s02e13 Episode Script
The King Who Would Be King
1 Season 2 Episode13 "The King Who Would Be King" King Julien.
I have a very important announcement to make.
It's time.
Yes.
Cake o'clock! Lovin' it.
No, Your Majesty, it's not cake-- Been waiting for cake o'clock all day.
Even wrote a little ditty for it.
I call it "Cake o'clock rock.
" Ready, DJ Glitterbuns? DJ Glitterbuns-- [scratching.]
funky beats! You know, like people Ask me all the time Hey, KJ, what time is it? You know what time it is? It's cake, cake o'clock Time to rock, rock-o-rock Time to strap on That sugar shock Shock! Shock! Sugar shock! It's cake-cake o'clock.
Time to change Your shoes and sock Sock! Sock! Shoes and sock! You only have the one sock? That's right You have only got ya one sock 'Cause you love, love, love Cake, cake, cake o'clock.
Third cake o'clock song this week.
Gonna call me Sir Bake-bake-bake-a-lot ÂeCause I eat cake-cake-cake-a-lot Yo, don't you know It's cake o'clock So we all gotta blow Out the candles, homes Out candles.
homes That's all, that's it We out Cake is what it's all about No doubt! Mm, delicious.
Sorry, Your Majesty, it's not cake o'clock.
It's time to introduce you to all the King Juliens that came before you.
All the kinds? Where? Where? Is my booty brushed properly? No, Your Majesty.
In here.
This book is The KingsÂf Chronicles.
Thighsander Plunderhorse faced off-- The what-you-say-what now? I'm okay.
Inside this book, resides the life stories of all the King Juliens.
The KingsÂf Chronicles.
This book is the reason I do.
what I do.
Annoy me with your over-the-top aggressiveness? No! | -- I mean, I Keep it together, Clover.
They don't know what this book means to you.
How you're not worthy to even be in its presence.
No! No! [shrieking.]
I'm not worthy.
Okay? All of the King Juliens have written down their life stories in this book.
Their greatest achievements, their unbelievable, amazing adventures, their, their, their words.
Achievements? Adventures? Words? Maurice, why didn't you tell me that all the kings have written their stories down in this big book? That's pretty much exactly what I did tell you.
Let us take a look inside of this big book full of kingly stuff.
I think my brain is leaking.
Hey, check out this guy.
King Julien 1.
"FuÂÂ savorly dide he seke to gaven the wourld a worthy jape of his wounderous booty-ar.
" I don't know what those words mean, but look at that booty.
Wondrous! You can tell we're related.
Ooh! King Julien II.
''If everst there were a king that knew the who and how, ÂeTwas the royal liege that didst marry the royal cow.
Wrong or right, saint or sinner.
After the wedding there was steak for dinner.
" Whoa, hold on.
This guy ate his wife? That cowboy knew how to party! King Julien XII said, "The horrific death of one lemur is worth its weight in gold.
Fear gold.
Mwa-ha.
Mwa-ha-ha-ha.
" This guy's funny.
Reminds of me of how Uncle King Julien used to laugh.
That is Uncle King Julien.
Oh, yeah.
Such a great laugh.
He'd go And then everybody would pee themselves.
And not in a good way.
Oh, what a kidder.
What has happened? The pages are all blank.
They're empty.
The line of kings is broken! Broken! No, Your Majesty, those are for you to fill in.
See? "King Julien XIII.
" That's you.
These are your pages.
Don't placate me, Maurice.
It's not becoming of-- Wait! MY Pages? Mine? Mm.
Oh.
Softer than I expected.
Mm, I could just cuddle up in these all day by a warm fire.
Wait, I know what must be done.
These kingly pages must be filled and I must fill them.
Let the writing about me begin by me! It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Call me Ishmael.
Ugh! This font size is unacceptable.
Okay, Amelia, here's the pitch: In the beginning Well, no, I just don't think you get it.
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There was this time when I was a little boy Any other notes, Amelia? I'm ready.
Okay.
Gonna write now.
Ta-da.
How's the writing coming, Your Majesty? Clover, please.
The noise.
I lost it.
The muse is gone.
Is that a pudding face? Yes.
Why-- Yes.
Part of my writing process.
If you were a writer, you'd know this.
Actually, I do dabble in the odd bit of-- Oh, this is impossible.
How am I supposed to work with all these distractions? Now, I need to start over and get the word-juices flowing again.
First, I need to take a nap.
Look at all these beautiful blank pages.
Whoa! To be able to write in that book Just a little A few words.
I'm sure King Julien wouldn't mind.
Just gonna move the pudding face.
That is good.
Oh, that's genius, that is.
Oh, oh.
That is really good.
Today is the day I'm actually going to write in the big-- What? How? Maurice! What is it, Your Majesty? Words! Book! There are words in my book! And that's Good? Bad? I'm not sure I understand the question-- Because? I didn't write them.
See? See? Right there.
Words.
And look at the way they're all next to each other! Those are called sentences, Your Majesty.
Sentences.
Sounds fancy.
What do those "sen-ten-ceezs" say? "Welcome to the illustrious career of King Julien XIII.
His world overflows with adventure and daring deeds of derring-do.
" Ooh.
That's like twice the daringness.
"King Julien XIII came riding into this world fully formed with biceps rippling and bulging, well-oiled and ready for action poised atop a unicorn horn.
" A unicorn horn? Bulging biceps? Your Majesty, somebody's playing you.
Such accuracy.
What else does it say I did? "King Julien's ears were so manly and well-proportioned that they could hear the cries of his people bewailing the grave misfortune of a freezing water slide that gave out such cold booties.
He put his hands together and created the sun and bounced it up into the sky to lovingly heal the booties of all his peoples.
" Wow! Did you hear that, Maurice? I'm a booty-heater.
King Julien, you did not create the sun.
Wha-- We don't know that.
I do walk in my sleep.
Could have happened then.
Look, there are a bunch more stories about me.
They probably aren't real either.
No, wait.
It's obvious, Mo-Mo.
What if the gods wrote this? What if the gods were all like, "Julien-baby, J-man, love your stuff.
You done so many wonderful things.
" And, I was like, "Who me?" And they're like, "Yeah, of course, you.
Oh, but right, you don't remember Âecause of the whole sleep-walking thing.
So, we wrote it all down for you in the big book.
Enjoy.
Oh, and KJ? You're so great, you should really share these stories with your peeps.
" And I was like, "You know what, gods? Yeah! That's exactly what I'm gonna do!" I got so excited when King Julien asked me to bring his life story to the people that I dug deep into the old brain pan and looked into the future to create the Laserlnk-Jetatron.
Finally, words have found their true purpose.
To give the joy of my greatness to the peoples.
I shall call it The Fantastical True Stories of the Grand High King of Lemuria: My Life and Amazing Exploits.
What are you smiling about? You know this is gonna end badly.
Oh, I don't know.
Have you read the stories? Pretty exciting and well-written, if you ask me.
I'm interested to see what the people think about King Julien's adventures, I mean.
Heh.
Extra, extra! Read all about it.
Amazing exploits of King Julien XIII.
Hey, this is something.
We're all gonna read! Listen to this one.
"King Julien XIII clapped his mighty hands together and scared the ocean away with his massive, rippling biceps.
" Wait.
Wait, this one's too much.
It's got wizards and laser eyes.
"The mighty wizards faced each other eyes glowering and glowing with magic which they unleashed in a frenetic fury of laser eyes.
But, when KJ13 used his secret weapon, his magic booty, he obliterated the evil Ratta-wiz once and for all time.
" You see? The peoples are really loving all the true stories the gods have written down about me.
I know! It's such a powerful feeling.
For you, Your Majesty.
My peoples, we got another tale ripped from the pages of The Fantastical True Stories of the Grand High King of Lemuria.
If you love the Magic-Booty King Julien, you're gonna love Emo-Sparkly King Julien.
"The Emo-Sparkly KJ13, brooded as he stared in a brooding-emo stare, across the beach.
All sparkly and brooding and emo, and he made a mighty leaping kick.
Flying brooding-emo-kick! The giant scorpion was a vile and disgusting creature that deserved to be kicked right in the gob.
" You see, this big and ugly monstrosity lived in a cave and ate babies and had a horrible habit of wearing diapers on his head.
Used ones! A giant scorpion? Big and ugly? Diapers on my head? Ate babies? I only ever ate that one baby, just the one.
And now it's all everybody ever talks about.
These are lies.
Lies! Everything I've believed in is a lie! King Julien is gonna pay for this! Hi, and welcome to Xixi's Book Club.
I've introduced you to some steamy finger-tinglers in the past but today we have King JuIien's Fantastical True Stories of the Grand High King of Lemuria: My Life and Amazing Exploits.
The frenzy has spawned a hotly debated division.
Who do you like better? Magic-Booty King Julien? Vote Team Magic-Booty! Or Emo-Sparkly King Julien? Vote Team Emo-Sparkly! Oh, my, so exciting.
All eyes are on King Julien to see what the next installment of his life will be.
Nope, still blank.
How long does it take for the gods to do their writing thing? Don't know.
How'd it work last time? Well, it was pretty easy, actually.
I just took a nap.
Here I am, napping.
Napping-nappy-nappy-nap.
Napping.
Here I am.
Come on.
Please, gods? Please write down some moreÂ@ of my amazing adventures? If you'd actually go take a nap then I could get writing.
What was that, Clover? I said um, maybe if everybody left the room, the gods could write in The KingsÂf Chronicles.
Yeah, that's what I said.
They're probably just shy.
Excellent idea.
Everyone out.
I'll just stay and, uh, protect the gods while they're writing.
Hm? Ooh, I like that.
Oh, oh! That's a good one.
Um, Clover? I hate it when my mommy is mean to my dads.
King Julien, I Maurice! Sorry! I Clover isn't here right now.
Yes, you are, and Mo-Mo and I have the bruises to prove it.
Which really begs the question, why are you writing in The KingsÂf Chronicles? Isn't it obvious? Clover is one of the gods? Not fair! No.
Clover isn't a god, she's just Clover.
And she's the one writing the King's stories.
Oh.
Ooh Uh.
Wha-- You mean the stories about me, I can't remember happening, actually never happened? I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
I I couldn't help myself.
Oy vey This is terrible.
We can't just lie to the people.
They're really believing these stories.
Exactly, Maurice.
These stories are important to my peoples.
They are really loving my exploits.
We have to give them more.
Besides, I really have to hear what I do next.
"Keep on sparkling.
" "King Julien," smiley face.
"This magic booty's for you, Dorothy.
" "King Julien, hearts and sparkles--" King Julien! Clover.
you know this guy? Um.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I've heard of him.
His name's Fred.
Giant scorpion, lives in a cave.
Might have kind of used him as inspiration for one of your stories.
King Julien, I believed in you.
Your stories changed my life.
But, then you told lies about me.
Lies! And what is this place? This isn't Lemuria.
This place is a total dump.
And you, you're not brooding or sparkly or muscle-y.
I feel so betrayed right now.
I want everyone to know that your story about me was a lie! Sounds easy enough.
Let's just tell everybody the truth about Fred here.
Hey, there now, you can't talk to KJ13 like that.
He's done amazing and wondrous things.
Hit him with your magic booty, King J.
Uh well uh Take it easy there, Ted.
No! Ted's right.
We don't have to be afraid of you, you big bully.
We got King Julien.
He shoots magic out of his eyes and rides unicorn horns.
Yes, about that King Julien XIII is my hero.
Listen, uh, Fred, is it? The stories are important to my peoples.
They love the stories as they are and so, that's how the stories are gonna stay.
That's what I'm talking about, yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Oh yeah? Well, I'm sorry, too, because now, this is happening.
All happening! Run away! Happening! This is happening! Happening! We're all gonna die because we liked reading! This is my fault and I'll put an end to this.
On it! Back off, Fred! You want some? Happening! This is happening! See? I was on it.
Tail whip! So not on it.
I don't understand.
The King Julien in my stories would never let that mean old scorpion get away with all that.
Sorry, Todd, that King Julien only exists in the beautiful, inspiring stories about me.
I made it up.
Huh? But, my peoples deserve to know the truth.
Hey, Fred! Yeah.
Hey, listen.
Uh, you win, big guy.
I'll tell the truth.
Not only is my story about you fake, but none of my stories are real.
Everything I said, written by Clover, was a big fat lie.
They're all fake.
-Uh? -What? -Why? -I don't-- Say it ain't so, King Julien.
Say it ain't so, Yes, Ted.
It is so.
Aw, sheesh! Life ain't worth living.
I'm in the dark here.
Get that? I'm in the dark! Wait, all the stories are fake? All of them? That's even worse.
This book changed my life and without it, -I feel so sad.
So empty.
-Oh, boy.
So angry.
This is happening! Hey, whoa! Frederick.
Cool it, buddy.
What would you doing all the destroying of stuff ? Calm it down a notch.
Sorry.
I got anger issues.
I gotta breathe.
One, two, three, four Okay, that's better.
That was bad That was bad me.
You don't want bad me.
My peoples, and Fred, listen to me.
Everybody take a knee.
Come on in, bring it in.
We all love the stories about me for a lot of reasons.
Mainly, because they were about me.
Look, these stories may not be true, but that's not important.
What is important is how they made you feel.
Say, King Julien's right.
Listen, Fred, I know just what you need, buddy.
What? Our, like, totally beloved King Julien XIII awoke to find his most royal magic emo-sparkly booty drifting through space.
This is me, "My booty's all floaty.
" Oh, oh, oh, oh Until he was surrounded by the evil space gizzards in their buttleships.
All their really big laser guns pointed right at him.
"Oh, no! I am so a goner.
If only somebody were brave enough to save me.
" But, too late.
So sad.
All the laser guns fired at once, like this.
[imitating a laser.]
Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Just then, behind him, Fred came swooping in.
Whoosh! ''I am heroic Fred, flying my giant scorpion space thingy.
I will help you.
Together we will save the day.
" And the two hero guys fought back.
Oh, baby! What a fight.
[makes fighting and gun sounds.]
what are you Help me.
You go, King Julien! But, it looked like Fred and KJ13 were, like, gonna be obliterated.
Then Fred said, "Use the booty, King Julien.
" I said that? Thusly, KJ13 used his booty and Fred used his really loud voice and together they blew up all the baddies in a big epic finish.
[makes explosion sounds.]
[laser sounds.]
[blows raspberry.]
[both shout hysterically.]
"And those are the adventures, of the Most Amazing Marvelous Fantastic Fred, Giant Scorpion, and friend to everyone everywhere, who only ever ate that one baby.
The end.
Way to go, Fred! Nice work, Your Majesty.
Although, I could have written it better.
Mr.
Marvelous Fantastic Fred, Can I have your autograph? Sure there, little fella.
Just kidding.
I wasn't gonna eat this baby.
I so fooled you guys.
Ahaha, Fred, you are such a kidder.
Quick, Clover.
Get Todd out of here.
I have a very important announcement to make.
It's time.
Yes.
Cake o'clock! Lovin' it.
No, Your Majesty, it's not cake-- Been waiting for cake o'clock all day.
Even wrote a little ditty for it.
I call it "Cake o'clock rock.
" Ready, DJ Glitterbuns? DJ Glitterbuns-- [scratching.]
funky beats! You know, like people Ask me all the time Hey, KJ, what time is it? You know what time it is? It's cake, cake o'clock Time to rock, rock-o-rock Time to strap on That sugar shock Shock! Shock! Sugar shock! It's cake-cake o'clock.
Time to change Your shoes and sock Sock! Sock! Shoes and sock! You only have the one sock? That's right You have only got ya one sock 'Cause you love, love, love Cake, cake, cake o'clock.
Third cake o'clock song this week.
Gonna call me Sir Bake-bake-bake-a-lot ÂeCause I eat cake-cake-cake-a-lot Yo, don't you know It's cake o'clock So we all gotta blow Out the candles, homes Out candles.
homes That's all, that's it We out Cake is what it's all about No doubt! Mm, delicious.
Sorry, Your Majesty, it's not cake o'clock.
It's time to introduce you to all the King Juliens that came before you.
All the kinds? Where? Where? Is my booty brushed properly? No, Your Majesty.
In here.
This book is The KingsÂf Chronicles.
Thighsander Plunderhorse faced off-- The what-you-say-what now? I'm okay.
Inside this book, resides the life stories of all the King Juliens.
The KingsÂf Chronicles.
This book is the reason I do.
what I do.
Annoy me with your over-the-top aggressiveness? No! | -- I mean, I Keep it together, Clover.
They don't know what this book means to you.
How you're not worthy to even be in its presence.
No! No! [shrieking.]
I'm not worthy.
Okay? All of the King Juliens have written down their life stories in this book.
Their greatest achievements, their unbelievable, amazing adventures, their, their, their words.
Achievements? Adventures? Words? Maurice, why didn't you tell me that all the kings have written their stories down in this big book? That's pretty much exactly what I did tell you.
Let us take a look inside of this big book full of kingly stuff.
I think my brain is leaking.
Hey, check out this guy.
King Julien 1.
"FuÂÂ savorly dide he seke to gaven the wourld a worthy jape of his wounderous booty-ar.
" I don't know what those words mean, but look at that booty.
Wondrous! You can tell we're related.
Ooh! King Julien II.
''If everst there were a king that knew the who and how, ÂeTwas the royal liege that didst marry the royal cow.
Wrong or right, saint or sinner.
After the wedding there was steak for dinner.
" Whoa, hold on.
This guy ate his wife? That cowboy knew how to party! King Julien XII said, "The horrific death of one lemur is worth its weight in gold.
Fear gold.
Mwa-ha.
Mwa-ha-ha-ha.
" This guy's funny.
Reminds of me of how Uncle King Julien used to laugh.
That is Uncle King Julien.
Oh, yeah.
Such a great laugh.
He'd go And then everybody would pee themselves.
And not in a good way.
Oh, what a kidder.
What has happened? The pages are all blank.
They're empty.
The line of kings is broken! Broken! No, Your Majesty, those are for you to fill in.
See? "King Julien XIII.
" That's you.
These are your pages.
Don't placate me, Maurice.
It's not becoming of-- Wait! MY Pages? Mine? Mm.
Oh.
Softer than I expected.
Mm, I could just cuddle up in these all day by a warm fire.
Wait, I know what must be done.
These kingly pages must be filled and I must fill them.
Let the writing about me begin by me! It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Call me Ishmael.
Ugh! This font size is unacceptable.
Okay, Amelia, here's the pitch: In the beginning Well, no, I just don't think you get it.
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There was this time when I was a little boy Any other notes, Amelia? I'm ready.
Okay.
Gonna write now.
Ta-da.
How's the writing coming, Your Majesty? Clover, please.
The noise.
I lost it.
The muse is gone.
Is that a pudding face? Yes.
Why-- Yes.
Part of my writing process.
If you were a writer, you'd know this.
Actually, I do dabble in the odd bit of-- Oh, this is impossible.
How am I supposed to work with all these distractions? Now, I need to start over and get the word-juices flowing again.
First, I need to take a nap.
Look at all these beautiful blank pages.
Whoa! To be able to write in that book Just a little A few words.
I'm sure King Julien wouldn't mind.
Just gonna move the pudding face.
That is good.
Oh, that's genius, that is.
Oh, oh.
That is really good.
Today is the day I'm actually going to write in the big-- What? How? Maurice! What is it, Your Majesty? Words! Book! There are words in my book! And that's Good? Bad? I'm not sure I understand the question-- Because? I didn't write them.
See? See? Right there.
Words.
And look at the way they're all next to each other! Those are called sentences, Your Majesty.
Sentences.
Sounds fancy.
What do those "sen-ten-ceezs" say? "Welcome to the illustrious career of King Julien XIII.
His world overflows with adventure and daring deeds of derring-do.
" Ooh.
That's like twice the daringness.
"King Julien XIII came riding into this world fully formed with biceps rippling and bulging, well-oiled and ready for action poised atop a unicorn horn.
" A unicorn horn? Bulging biceps? Your Majesty, somebody's playing you.
Such accuracy.
What else does it say I did? "King Julien's ears were so manly and well-proportioned that they could hear the cries of his people bewailing the grave misfortune of a freezing water slide that gave out such cold booties.
He put his hands together and created the sun and bounced it up into the sky to lovingly heal the booties of all his peoples.
" Wow! Did you hear that, Maurice? I'm a booty-heater.
King Julien, you did not create the sun.
Wha-- We don't know that.
I do walk in my sleep.
Could have happened then.
Look, there are a bunch more stories about me.
They probably aren't real either.
No, wait.
It's obvious, Mo-Mo.
What if the gods wrote this? What if the gods were all like, "Julien-baby, J-man, love your stuff.
You done so many wonderful things.
" And, I was like, "Who me?" And they're like, "Yeah, of course, you.
Oh, but right, you don't remember Âecause of the whole sleep-walking thing.
So, we wrote it all down for you in the big book.
Enjoy.
Oh, and KJ? You're so great, you should really share these stories with your peeps.
" And I was like, "You know what, gods? Yeah! That's exactly what I'm gonna do!" I got so excited when King Julien asked me to bring his life story to the people that I dug deep into the old brain pan and looked into the future to create the Laserlnk-Jetatron.
Finally, words have found their true purpose.
To give the joy of my greatness to the peoples.
I shall call it The Fantastical True Stories of the Grand High King of Lemuria: My Life and Amazing Exploits.
What are you smiling about? You know this is gonna end badly.
Oh, I don't know.
Have you read the stories? Pretty exciting and well-written, if you ask me.
I'm interested to see what the people think about King Julien's adventures, I mean.
Heh.
Extra, extra! Read all about it.
Amazing exploits of King Julien XIII.
Hey, this is something.
We're all gonna read! Listen to this one.
"King Julien XIII clapped his mighty hands together and scared the ocean away with his massive, rippling biceps.
" Wait.
Wait, this one's too much.
It's got wizards and laser eyes.
"The mighty wizards faced each other eyes glowering and glowing with magic which they unleashed in a frenetic fury of laser eyes.
But, when KJ13 used his secret weapon, his magic booty, he obliterated the evil Ratta-wiz once and for all time.
" You see? The peoples are really loving all the true stories the gods have written down about me.
I know! It's such a powerful feeling.
For you, Your Majesty.
My peoples, we got another tale ripped from the pages of The Fantastical True Stories of the Grand High King of Lemuria.
If you love the Magic-Booty King Julien, you're gonna love Emo-Sparkly King Julien.
"The Emo-Sparkly KJ13, brooded as he stared in a brooding-emo stare, across the beach.
All sparkly and brooding and emo, and he made a mighty leaping kick.
Flying brooding-emo-kick! The giant scorpion was a vile and disgusting creature that deserved to be kicked right in the gob.
" You see, this big and ugly monstrosity lived in a cave and ate babies and had a horrible habit of wearing diapers on his head.
Used ones! A giant scorpion? Big and ugly? Diapers on my head? Ate babies? I only ever ate that one baby, just the one.
And now it's all everybody ever talks about.
These are lies.
Lies! Everything I've believed in is a lie! King Julien is gonna pay for this! Hi, and welcome to Xixi's Book Club.
I've introduced you to some steamy finger-tinglers in the past but today we have King JuIien's Fantastical True Stories of the Grand High King of Lemuria: My Life and Amazing Exploits.
The frenzy has spawned a hotly debated division.
Who do you like better? Magic-Booty King Julien? Vote Team Magic-Booty! Or Emo-Sparkly King Julien? Vote Team Emo-Sparkly! Oh, my, so exciting.
All eyes are on King Julien to see what the next installment of his life will be.
Nope, still blank.
How long does it take for the gods to do their writing thing? Don't know.
How'd it work last time? Well, it was pretty easy, actually.
I just took a nap.
Here I am, napping.
Napping-nappy-nappy-nap.
Napping.
Here I am.
Come on.
Please, gods? Please write down some moreÂ@ of my amazing adventures? If you'd actually go take a nap then I could get writing.
What was that, Clover? I said um, maybe if everybody left the room, the gods could write in The KingsÂf Chronicles.
Yeah, that's what I said.
They're probably just shy.
Excellent idea.
Everyone out.
I'll just stay and, uh, protect the gods while they're writing.
Hm? Ooh, I like that.
Oh, oh! That's a good one.
Um, Clover? I hate it when my mommy is mean to my dads.
King Julien, I Maurice! Sorry! I Clover isn't here right now.
Yes, you are, and Mo-Mo and I have the bruises to prove it.
Which really begs the question, why are you writing in The KingsÂf Chronicles? Isn't it obvious? Clover is one of the gods? Not fair! No.
Clover isn't a god, she's just Clover.
And she's the one writing the King's stories.
Oh.
Ooh Uh.
Wha-- You mean the stories about me, I can't remember happening, actually never happened? I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
I I couldn't help myself.
Oy vey This is terrible.
We can't just lie to the people.
They're really believing these stories.
Exactly, Maurice.
These stories are important to my peoples.
They are really loving my exploits.
We have to give them more.
Besides, I really have to hear what I do next.
"Keep on sparkling.
" "King Julien," smiley face.
"This magic booty's for you, Dorothy.
" "King Julien, hearts and sparkles--" King Julien! Clover.
you know this guy? Um.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I've heard of him.
His name's Fred.
Giant scorpion, lives in a cave.
Might have kind of used him as inspiration for one of your stories.
King Julien, I believed in you.
Your stories changed my life.
But, then you told lies about me.
Lies! And what is this place? This isn't Lemuria.
This place is a total dump.
And you, you're not brooding or sparkly or muscle-y.
I feel so betrayed right now.
I want everyone to know that your story about me was a lie! Sounds easy enough.
Let's just tell everybody the truth about Fred here.
Hey, there now, you can't talk to KJ13 like that.
He's done amazing and wondrous things.
Hit him with your magic booty, King J.
Uh well uh Take it easy there, Ted.
No! Ted's right.
We don't have to be afraid of you, you big bully.
We got King Julien.
He shoots magic out of his eyes and rides unicorn horns.
Yes, about that King Julien XIII is my hero.
Listen, uh, Fred, is it? The stories are important to my peoples.
They love the stories as they are and so, that's how the stories are gonna stay.
That's what I'm talking about, yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Oh yeah? Well, I'm sorry, too, because now, this is happening.
All happening! Run away! Happening! This is happening! Happening! We're all gonna die because we liked reading! This is my fault and I'll put an end to this.
On it! Back off, Fred! You want some? Happening! This is happening! See? I was on it.
Tail whip! So not on it.
I don't understand.
The King Julien in my stories would never let that mean old scorpion get away with all that.
Sorry, Todd, that King Julien only exists in the beautiful, inspiring stories about me.
I made it up.
Huh? But, my peoples deserve to know the truth.
Hey, Fred! Yeah.
Hey, listen.
Uh, you win, big guy.
I'll tell the truth.
Not only is my story about you fake, but none of my stories are real.
Everything I said, written by Clover, was a big fat lie.
They're all fake.
-Uh? -What? -Why? -I don't-- Say it ain't so, King Julien.
Say it ain't so, Yes, Ted.
It is so.
Aw, sheesh! Life ain't worth living.
I'm in the dark here.
Get that? I'm in the dark! Wait, all the stories are fake? All of them? That's even worse.
This book changed my life and without it, -I feel so sad.
So empty.
-Oh, boy.
So angry.
This is happening! Hey, whoa! Frederick.
Cool it, buddy.
What would you doing all the destroying of stuff ? Calm it down a notch.
Sorry.
I got anger issues.
I gotta breathe.
One, two, three, four Okay, that's better.
That was bad That was bad me.
You don't want bad me.
My peoples, and Fred, listen to me.
Everybody take a knee.
Come on in, bring it in.
We all love the stories about me for a lot of reasons.
Mainly, because they were about me.
Look, these stories may not be true, but that's not important.
What is important is how they made you feel.
Say, King Julien's right.
Listen, Fred, I know just what you need, buddy.
What? Our, like, totally beloved King Julien XIII awoke to find his most royal magic emo-sparkly booty drifting through space.
This is me, "My booty's all floaty.
" Oh, oh, oh, oh Until he was surrounded by the evil space gizzards in their buttleships.
All their really big laser guns pointed right at him.
"Oh, no! I am so a goner.
If only somebody were brave enough to save me.
" But, too late.
So sad.
All the laser guns fired at once, like this.
[imitating a laser.]
Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Just then, behind him, Fred came swooping in.
Whoosh! ''I am heroic Fred, flying my giant scorpion space thingy.
I will help you.
Together we will save the day.
" And the two hero guys fought back.
Oh, baby! What a fight.
[makes fighting and gun sounds.]
what are you Help me.
You go, King Julien! But, it looked like Fred and KJ13 were, like, gonna be obliterated.
Then Fred said, "Use the booty, King Julien.
" I said that? Thusly, KJ13 used his booty and Fred used his really loud voice and together they blew up all the baddies in a big epic finish.
[makes explosion sounds.]
[laser sounds.]
[blows raspberry.]
[both shout hysterically.]
"And those are the adventures, of the Most Amazing Marvelous Fantastic Fred, Giant Scorpion, and friend to everyone everywhere, who only ever ate that one baby.
The end.
Way to go, Fred! Nice work, Your Majesty.
Although, I could have written it better.
Mr.
Marvelous Fantastic Fred, Can I have your autograph? Sure there, little fella.
Just kidding.
I wasn't gonna eat this baby.
I so fooled you guys.
Ahaha, Fred, you are such a kidder.
Quick, Clover.
Get Todd out of here.