All Hail King Julien (2014) s02e15 Episode Script

The Phantom of Club Moist

1 Season2 Episode15 "The Phantom of Club Moist" Blakadakada-shoo-sha Yada-yada-ba-ka-chaa Hey, kids, come a little closer, Uncle Maurice has a story to tell.
Once upon a time, in a place called Madagascar, there was a lemur named King Julien XIII.
And King Julien XIII had a problem.
I have no legacy! No one is going to remember me! "Who are you?" "No idea.
" "Never seen you before.
FYI, you are very handsome.
" "Oh, thank you very much.
" I'm freaking out, man! There are many things you'll be remembered for.
-Name one.
-Um, trampolines.
Bringing laughter and joy back to the kingdom.
So, my legacy is the same as a circus pony's.
Don't worry, King Julien, when you go, your feet will live on.
I've already built the display box.
Mort, no! Ooh, what have you lined this box with? Is that crushed velvet? Very nice.
But still creepy, Mort.
Whee! Every great king has left behind a legacy.
For example, King Julien, the Hygienic, left behind a line of scented body wash.
[King Julien, the Hygienic.]
Hmm, do I choose brisket or taco? Oh! Taco.
That was a terrible legacy.
Well, at least he has one.
From this day forth, I am putting Operation Legacy into action.
I will create a King Julien XIII branded legacy so memorable, it will be impossible to unrememberable it.
A place where all are welcome! Unless, of course, they're, like, really annoying, or I don't like them.
Does this mean what I think it means? You're going to build that hospital we need? That's right.
I'm opening a night club! Club Moist.
Club Moist? Yeah.
Didn't you see the fireworks? It's pretty clear.
How exactly is a night club a legacy? Aren't legacies supposed to help people? Uh.
Hello? I think Iemur booties shaking to KJ-branded music and live performances, as well as lemurs eating KJ-branded fine dining is very helpful.
You get exercise, nutrition, exerci -- I'm creating a national treasure here, people.
Isn't Club Moist the club you were supposed to start with Rob McTodd when you had your rap duo, "Lemurs Love the Lemur Ladies"? Lemurs love the lemur ladies! Yeah! But Rob's all disfigured and gross now, so the idea reverts to me.
It's all very legal.
-uh -- -Eh-eh-eh-eh! Next! Okay, Willie, we're looking for an act that will really bring the crowds.
Dazzle me, baby! Right.
Uh I thought I'd do some jokes today.
How exciting.
Laughter is a gift.
So, how many crocodiles does it take to eat a mango? What? That's crazy! That's genius, Willie! Your Majesty, he hasn't said the punch line yet.
What? Oh.
Too cerebral.
Not "moist"! Next! King Jul -- Enough with the speeches, Tammy.
Get to it.
Right, okay.
Get ready, because you're in for a real treat.
Todd! Come on out here, baby.
I'm gonna stop you.
Todd, as you know, big fan.
Respeck.
Sadly your mother, well not "moist"! Next! Well, you can stop looking because Ted and his musical tail are here! Hmm Ted, what's wrong? I told you not to fill the coconuts so high.
My tail is getting soaked.
Do something! Eh! Too disturbing! Not "moist"! It just needs to dry off.
Why couldn't you have bigger hands? Clover! Okay, you two, let's go.
Creating a legacy here.
Very important.
Not running a charity.
This is a disaster! My club needs a KJ-branded star! Maybe Club Moist isn't -- Am I crazy? Crazy for feeling this way.
Moist! About you.
That voice.
It's like two angels rubbing their vocal cords together.
Rub-a-da-what? It's your love that I hope I've found because I don't believe it.
Is that Mort? Your feet make me weak When I'm dancing to the beat I have the tiny spark In my tushy part That makes me jump about So I can sing and shout Wow.
When did Mort get so Moist.
King Julien, they love him.
Stop the music! Say, what's your name, kid? You know his name.
Go along with the bit.
It's old school.
My name is Mort.
Hmm.
No, that won't work.
The star of Club Moist must have a name that sparkles.
A name that screams, "Listen to me! Please! I'm so desperate and needy! Please!" I've got it! Your stage name shall be Pork.
oh, yay!! I'm a non-kosher meat! Go to your dressing room and get ready.
and I want my Pork tender, sweet, and smoky! Word got around pretty quick.
And soon enough, Club Moist was the place to be in Madagascar.
-Oh! -Hey! Top notch entertainment wowed the audience.
But the real reason everyone came was because of Club Moist's signature act Pork! Ilove, love, love, love Love your toes I smell them piggies I see rainbows Don't get me started On your cams and bunions I happen to like That they stink like onions I love, love, love, love Love your toes I smell them piggies I see rainbows I shut my eyes And barely sleep Because your hairy feet Make my heart leap Yeah! Get me some mint jelly.
I want seconds! Mort's talent was undeniable.
The audience loved him! Oh, that King Julien's legacy was a hit.
Unfortunately, that was all about to change.
Back off, freaks, or you're gonna get beak slapped.
Don't they understand? Pork is an artiste.
He needs his peace, people! Hmm? [male voice, lisping.]
Enjoy your fame now, Pork.
It's going to end soon.
Where did you come from? A secret panel that leads to stairs carved into the living rock that spiral down to catacombs beneath.
But don't tell anyone.
okay.
King Julien has used you, Pork.
I wish.
He takes what he wants and anyone who gets in his way pays the price.
No one talks about my King Julien that way.
Who are you, mask guy? You may call me "The Phantom of Club Moist.
" Hmm.
A little dramatic.
What are you doing? NO! NO! Hey, everybody -- Like you all to meet my friend, King Julien.
Say "Hi," Your Majesty.
I don't have time to say hello.
I'm the king.
Old chunky-thighs Maurice does all the hi's for me.
That is so what I would say if my head was a pineapple.
Your Majesty, he's making fun of you too.
He's making fun of a dummy who looks like me.
Big diff.
King Julien, Mort is on next, but there's no sign of him anywhere.
If that little house elf's stage fright ruins my legacy, I will not be held responsible for-- Pork! Pork! Pork! That's Mort's cue.
What are we going to do? Oh, I'll tell you what you're gonna do.
You're going to let a professional song and dance boy -- -- show you how it's done.
Todd! Let's give these bush leaguers a taste of the Toddsicle, baby.
No! Clover, help me.
I cannot let that beast of a stage mother-- King Julien, I've been looking all over for you.
Congratulations! Oh, come here, you! Good evening, everyone.
Pork couldn't make it tonight, but you're in luck, because my little baby did.
# I I'm a dandy boy In me big top hat -- Mother! Todd! My baby! My meal ticket! Leave this cave now, or the Phantom will make sure no one gets out alive! Perhaps if King Julien had just closed the club, the carnage that followed could have been avoided.
But Club Moist was King Julien's legacy, and some legacies die very hard after a lot of screaming and pain and tears and Well, you'll see.
My club It's ruined! What about my Todd? His little body is twisted and broken.
I'm okay, Mom.
That's the shock talking, baby.
Don't say another word without our lawyer.
Tammy, I don't know what to say.
That's okay, Mo-Mo.
I got this.
Why couldn't it have been you? Your body would've absorbed the blow and my stage wouldn't be ruined.
King Julien! He didn't mean that.
Don't worry, we'll make sure Todd is well taken-- Yes, Todd will have the best doctor in the kingdom.
Respeck, Todd.
Respeck! Your Majesty, we don't have doctors in the kingdom.
Quiet, Maurice, I know.
I'm using child psychology to make him feel better.
The doctor will be by shortly.
I've done a complete perimeter search.
No sign of the Phantom.
Or Mort.
Oh, sweet Mort.
We'll have to assume the Phantom ate him.
Uh, why would we assume that? How should I know? You're the fancy detective, Clover.
Isn't knowing his diet your job? Crazy thought.
Could this be Rob exacting revenge for starting the club without him? Don't be ridiculous, Rob looked nothing like the Phantom -But the Phantom wears a mask.
-Precisely! And Rob never wore a mask, ergo not Rob.
It's science, Maurice.
Xixi, how are reservations? Any cancellations? Uh All of them? I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
I know how badly you wanted Club Moist to be your legacy.
Yes, Maurice.
It would appear that Club Moist is finished to someone who's blind.
But to someone who has sight and vision, and isn't ready to give up on his dream, this is merely an obstacle to be dodged and weaved.
Watch me do it! "You ain't so bad.
" "Ain't gonna be no rematch.
" "Don't want one.
" -Yeah, he's lost it.
-I'll get the restraints.
Xixi, get a dart, we may need to tranq him.
Save the restraints and your sleepy darts for the after-party, Maurice.
This king has been in worse spots and you know what he learned? Sometimes it's better to quit and walk away? Yes.
I mean, no! This king has learned as long as there is blood in his booty and thoughts in his brainy parts, there is hope.
Club Moist will rise again and no "Phantom" is going to stop it.
Xixi, I need you to spread the word, Club Moist is coming back bigger than ever, and I want tushies in these seats.
-Clover! -Yes, Your Majesty! If the Phantom shows up again, I wanna be ready.
Get to work on a trap.
A trap that is so insane, it even freaks you out.
I'm talking full psycho.
Let your freak flag fly! I have dreamed of a moment like this, but I never thought it would happen.
Your Majesty, what should we use as bait? Something alive and helpless is preferred.
Normally, the words "bait, alive, and helpless" would equal Mort, but since he has been eaten -We don't know that.
-I will take his place as both bait and headliner! What? Your Majesty, I can't allow that.
You can and you can.
-My legacy, my risk.
-But-- The king's word is final! Gavel slam.
Roll credits.
Ha! We're never gonna die! Ooh, mama! Working up a nice burn.
I'm gonna rock this stage tonight, Mo-Mo.
Gonna rock it! I would like to go on record again.
You making yourself a target is an incredibly bad idea.
Concern noted and ignored.
Trap is complete, Your Majesty.
I've rigged the entire club with an elaborate mix of swinging boulders, poisonous vines, buckets of snakes, spinning knives, flame throwers, deadly fighter birds, and an acid pit.
In other words, every deadly thing you could find.
Exactly.
And should the Phantom get past all of them, I have also trapped a shark in the toilet hut.
Aha! Wow.
Toilet shark! Oh, my! Clover, I am proud of you.
You've really out-crazied your crazy this time.
Whoo! Mission accomplished.
The club is completely sold out for tonight.
You wanna know how l did it? Ugh.
No, l just ate.
Oh.
Cool.
I'm gonna crash then.
Alright everyone, you heard the bird.
We got a show to put on! Sister Susie went to sea to see the sea.
You see, the sea she saw was a saucy sea.
A sort of saucy sea, saw she.
Yes! Citizens of Madagascar, he's the ravishing royal with a flair for the fabulous, King Julien! La-la-Ia-la-la-Ia Me, mow, moo.
Thank Thank you.
As many of you probably know, Club Moist has been a childhood dream since childhood.
Sure there's no way the Phantom could get past your trap? Not unless the Phantom can turn himself invisible.
Doesn't that sound fun? [Maurice.]
Or turn off the lights.
-[lemur 1.]
I'm in the dark! -[Julien.]
What's happening? -[chainsaw whirring.]
-[screaming.]
[lemur 2.]
There's acid in my beverage! [eagle squawks.]
[lemur 3.]
I believe a bird is eating my face off.
This is deplorable.
-[lemur 4.]
We're all gonna-- -[scuffling.]
[Clover.]
Hold on, everybody, I found the-- The king! He's gone! And that was the last we ever saw of King Julien.
The end.
I'm just joshing ya.
Now buckle up, kids, this is the part of the story where it gets really crazy.
You promised he'd be safe! How was I to know the Phantom would turn off the lights? It was your job to know! I'm sorry and I am not crying.
I just can't believe he's gone.
And I might never again hear him say-- Actually, I was thinking more like, "To the water slide" or Maurice, I didn't say that.
Help me! Hmm?Hmm? Help me! Is that -Mort? -Mort! We thought you'd been eaten.
Sorry, it was power of suggestion.
-What happened? -The Phantom.
I thought he was just a fan looking for a piece of Pork.
But Where's my King Julien? He's in danger! The Phantom took him, Mort.
-Any idea where they might've gone? -No! You're sure? Think, Mort.
King Julien is in serious danger.
Well, the Phantom did say he came from that secret panel over there that leads to stairs carved into the living rock that spiral down to catacombs beneath.
Pretty vague, huh? Hmm Who are you? Isn't it obvious, Julie? Ah! Recognize me now? Of course I do, you're somebody ugly who lives nearby? Self-absorbed fool! It's me, Rob "The Party Animal" McTodd.
Former best friend and band mat e you left for dead.
I'd hoped never to see you again, but then you went and stole our idea for Club Moist.
Legally, the club reverted to me when you got all gross.
There's no such law! Pretty sure That club was for us! It was our legacy, not just yours.
This is why our friendship could never last.
You've always only thought about yourself.
But soon your thoughts will be mine.
No.
Not you! Hello again, Mr.
King Julien, so good to see you again in a cave! Rob, what is this? To ensure that you never steal from me again, I'm going to take your brain thoughts and switch them with mine.
Wow.
You came back as a phantom and now introduce a brain switching twist? Ha! That is so Rob! Of course, you do realize this is going to kill us both.
Oh, don't be such a downer.
"Dare to fail," that's my motto.
Rob, please, is it access to the club you want? Easy.
I'll get you as many twofers as you need.
Keep your charity, Julie.
I just want your mind.
Ow.
King Julien! Speak to me! What's wrong with him? His mind has been transferred into Rob.
My procedure worked! Oh! Even if King Julien is a mindless vegetable, I'll never leave his side.
Don't worry, King Julien, I will water you forever! Mort! Get your fur out of my mouth! I'm all right! Where do you think you're going, ugly? So, Rob McTodd was the Phantom.
Yes, Maurice, just as I suspected.
You suspected? What do you wanna do with these two, Your Majesty? Maybe a little Hi-yah! Or some Kha-kha-kha! Or a little bit of [crunching.]
[thumping like heartbeat.]
Let them go, Clover.
What? During the procedure for a moment I traded minds with Rob and felt his pain.
I think it also may have been my brain frying.
Regardless, it made me see that Rob was right.
I have only thought about myself.
And look what happened, people got hurt.
I want my legacy to help, not hurt.
That's why I've decided to close Club Moist, the nightclub.
And open instead Club Moist, the hospital.
Huh? Great idea, rightf? A hospital? Gee, how'd you come up with that? You know, I don't know.
It just came to me.
It's like the gods cracked open my head and just screamed it real loud.
But, uh, King Julien, we don't have any doctors.
Ah, but we do, Clover.
Me? Are you saying that for the first time, I will legally be practicing medicine out of a cave? What about me, Julie? Is there a place for me? With your expert knowledge of plastic surgery, and obvious people skills, how does Nurse Phantom sound? It sounds like home, old friend.
Let's shake on it.
Okay, Rob I think that's good.
And that, kids, is how King Julien got his legacy, and the kingdom got its first hospital, proving that sometimes there really are happy endings, which reminds me of a song.
Legacies Ooh! I'm sorry, but this is a hospital now and we have strict rules.
The first one being no singing in a cave! I forget what the others are.

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